I left my abusive narc 30 yrs ago when our daughter was 2 months old. He didn't even look for me until a month after I left. I started my life over with my daughter with no help from him. I met and married a nice man who legally adopted our daughter. We went on to buy a house and have another child together. We've been married 32 yrs now and have had a happy life. Both children are grown and are living happy lives. The ex narc is still drug addicted and cheating on his partner of 27 yrs. I want my story to bring hope to anyone who's in a dark place right now. Your day to shine and be happy is coming. Listen to Melanie, and just focus on yourself and being happy and healthy. Love yourself first.
Misty Vegas How do you go from being with a soul-destroyer to finding a nice man? I have yet to meet a non-toxic, emotionally available man. I know I'm part of my problem, but what soul-work did you do to change who you attract? Or did you later discover that your current husband is codependent or emotionally unavailable just as the other(s)?
Jul ofDenial My daughter was 2 mos old when I left the narc. She was my priority. Her wellbeing and safety was my main focus. I wasn't even thinking of dating bc I had been through so much abuse from my ex narc. My parents had a coworker of my dad's helping them do a kitchen remodeling at the time. (My future husband) He was in the process of a divorce from a narc. And he wasn't looking for anyone either. To make a long story short, he helped me by changing my locks and was very sweet & kind to my daughter. We became friends, I met his family, ect. My parents approved of him. It all fell in place. I knew he wss very different from men I had dated, ect. He stood out from the crowd. By this time I knew what I needed in a partner. I told him that the next relationship would be a forever commitment. And he didn't even flinch. He totally agreed. He was wanted a committed forever partner too. So by the time my daughter was 8 mos old, we we're married and a family. And at 1 yr old, he legally adopted her. The ex narc never contested. Thank God. Then later we had our son. Just know what you need in a partner and stick with that. Never settle for less. Mainly focus on you and your happiness.
Misty Vegas thank you for sharing. I left my narc two weeks ago and I’m 12 weeks pregnant. I’m happy to hear someone with a story like mine that came out with a real true happy ending. Gives me hope even though I’m still allowing him to hurt me currently. Reading these gives me a bit more strength each and every day. ❤️
@@godsownlunatics9650 oh no, I'm doing right no more toxic people in my life, I now live on 25 acres and pay only $200 in rent, own my business outright and have zero bills... Lol
you all prolly dont care but does someone know of a way to log back into an Instagram account? I was stupid lost the account password. I would love any help you can give me!
I've reached a point where I'm not thinking about karma or revenge, none of it even matters. My body, mind, spirit and soul are the most important to me. Even though it's still tough dealing with the aftermath of the abuse, I'm grateful for the lessons.
Lovewarrior, I know exactly what you mean. it took me 13 years (6 years of total no contact) to overcome the Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome I came away from a 25 yr relationship with a narcissist. I'm happy, content with myself. I don't think about him at all. I no longer worry about him, don't want him to suffer- he already is miserable. I don't wish him ill, but I would no longer trade myself for him. I finally realized that I was trying to recreate the relationship I had with a narcissistic parent. I finally let God heal that wound & though it took a long time, totally worth it! Nothing could ever entice me into a relationship with a narc again. In fact, as an empath, I attract narcs like bees to a honeycomb. Have a narc caregiver right now who's been trying to play me; I just caught her in her own trap. She's about to bolt, & not soon enough to suit me...I learned a lot from that long time of denying my own needs to feed someone else. Never again!
Lovewarrior Make sure that the *3 driving-POWERS* that are fueling the _HEALING_ of your: mind(soul) & body from *_receiving a rebirthed-spirit_** are what ***_Christ Jesus_* brought to us in revealed fullness: *1.) FAITH* *2.) LOVE* *3.) GRATITUDE*
They suffer in silence every day of their lives. Can you imagine not being able to express your own true emotions? They have to pretend every second of every day. That is exhausting. They have no peace.
I wake up every single day knowing that I am a genuine, kind, loving person. I am a good human with a good heart. As long as I can look in the mirror and love who I am each and every day, then I feel that that's the greatest feeling and gift in this life. Sadly, the narcissist will never have that.
I accepted that I'm a narcissist too late. I'm 59 years old, retired, financially stable disabled veteran. I'm 100% alone 24/7. I've driven all loved ones away. My son hasn't spoken to me in over a year. I'm glad he found the strength to disconnect. I hope he's well. Look inside yourself. If you're a narcissist. See things from others' perspective of you. I look back at my previous self and I want to kick his ass. Merry Christmas to all.
If anyone thinks a narc, especially older, isn't paid back by karma, walk into a room unexpectedly where he or she is. The most vacant, miserable, ALONE looking person...they do pay for what they are. If you see a narc asleep, the same is true- a look of total misery
Great point. I've seen this too. Catch them off guard and you see the real misery. Their posed pics look perfect. But look at the candid pics other ppl took of the narc....not so cheery.
both my exes are like this how i eneded up with the second well she jumped into the void the first had left and played the role and did the mirroring both are now very very old looking completely worn out exhausted tired ugly and very ill...i would secretly watch the one i just last year fled from homeless on my 45th birthday stuck on a island in the sea with no were to go so got the ferry home and drove all night to escape she would be pulling the most strange faces ans weird behaviour and look of death in her eyes asleep she looked like a witch in slumber in a horrror movie after my escape i get the shivvers and get moments of horror and realise just how lucky i am to escape
I think there’s an actual phrase for this, something like “the failed narcissistic” or something along those lines. Basically they’ve gotten older, used up all their narc supplies and are stuck in their own shadow of emptiness. You initially in this process think they deserve this but really it’s actually very sad. Edit: the term is actually a collapsed narcissist-check it out it’s actually very telling about the behavior of some older folks out there my father being the poster child of this disorder.
You are right that every second these people are getting karma. Yes, their constant unhappiness and lack of empathy is it. Also, many end up very lonely when they are older.
Tanya Colligan maybe that means that they are learning If they have noticed a patern on themselves Maybe they decide to pray and be good citizents naigbours individuals ?
Yes karma is something else!!!!! I work in a nursing home for 14 years now not all of the residents there are Narcs but the few of them there now still up to there tricks it's really sad! God has me on his mission to see how some of these people are 💜 To all stay safe and stay blessed 💗
Make sure that the *3 driving-POWERS* that are fueling the _HEALING_ of your: mind(soul) & body from *_receiving a rebirthed-spirit_** are what ***_Christ Jesus_* brought to us in revealed fullness: *1.) FAITH* *2.) LOVE* *3.) GRATITUDE*
Yes they are, but as I've always thought- It's not the narcissist that is the problem, but their supply. It's REALLY easy to deal with a narcissist on your own as they are truly weak and pathetic, but often their supply will come to defend them or support them in some way and THOSE are the difficult ones to deal with because you know what's really going on and those folks are lapping up the narc's bs. When they come to defend the Narc, it's almost like you can literally SEE the narc suddenly grow twice the size! And then that's when things get tough. If you try to save these people from the Narc you will go down with the ship with them so you just have to let them go and realize you can't save them.
I cried a lot towards the end because that is what truly bothers me that I feel so sad for them that they are unable to connect to themselves... because with all the narcissists in my life I had at least one moment where I truly felt their inner child in all its innocence and my heart went out to it. That’s what makes it so hard to let go, that I know what they are inside, even if they haven’t got a clue.
Sarah Fara Are you crying for them? Or for yourself....always hoping and believing they will change and be honourable, loving people? I ask because I feel I had an addiction to always hoping for the best in people. While I was doing this, I was disowning the very pain calling for healing and loving attention within me. Thank you for hearing my response. I am not wanting to make you wrong. I just wish to invite you to consider that the pain and sadness may be true grief for ourselves and the loss of life energy. Sincerely, Sarah
I`ll be honest Sarah... You`re hoding on to an image of them that no longer exist (if it ever existed in the first place). Not all narcs come from a place of abuse and sadness; some are born that way. They`re not vulnerable inside; there`s no child screaming for help; they`re dead inside. There`s nothing in there for you to look for. Inside, there`s only darkness and a mirror, that they use to lure and manipulate people. Probably, what you saw was your own image, someone desperate and in need of love (considering you have a lot of narcs in your life, that wouldn`t be a surprise). Don`t be fooled.
Sarah Fara I can relate to this . I have been truly damaged by my narcissistic ex but I don’t like to hear some of the comments where narcissists are totally vilified . On the one hand we are saying ‘don’t worry they are really unhappy,miserable people inside’ and on the other we , as normal , kind human beings are expected not to care about that. It saddens me , not just because yes, of course I hoped he would change but because now I know he can’t change and will forever suffer because of the wounds from his own traumatic childhood. These were not his choice. It’s quite a issue to come to terms with and to get your head around and I will admit that I have not quite worked it all out yet. Where does personal responsibility start and end with the narcissist ?
They are capable of making choices. They can turn to God and Christ if they want to be redeemed and change. However, they choose evil and dysfunction rather than good and God. Life is always about choices.
I dated the narc for 5.5 months, then dumped him. In those 5.5 months, I have never seen a man getting hit by karma as many times as he did. Why? Because they take no accountability and don't think long-term, the past always catches up.
Nothing lasts forever. At old age the table turns and it's really sad to see the narc crumble. Terrible that you no longer feel for them. Equalizer...Nothin last forever.
PLEASE SIGN AND SHARE PETITION TO CRIMINALIZE PARENTAL ALIENATION AND ALL FORMS OF EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE. NARCISSISTS NEED TO BE PUNISHED. www.change.org/p/american-psychological-asso-and-congress-must-address-emotional-and-psychological-abuse-as-a-crime-europe-recognizes-emotional-and-psychological-abuse-as-a-crime-u-s-needs-to-stop-turning-a-blind-eye-to-this-type-of-terrorism
They get sick. In their heads they then are a source of attention to doctors and hospitals , they enjoy and slip happily into conditions that most would do anything to avoid as they've never practiced self care ..
Narcs spend a great amount of energy on APPEARANCES. Looking as if they smart, beautiful, rich, powerful, etc Convincing people of this. But they are empty shells, unhappy in their soul! A narc killed my best friend in order to APPEAR they had a "perfect life" & were "soul mates" when he was leaving her. Never underestimate how far a Narc will go to satisfy their main drive, regardless if it's appearances or whatever. So
Unfortunately, even when a narcissist is affected by their own bad karma, they tend to blame others. At least this was my experience. Im still recovering from my narcissistic ex who I was with for 12 months. We used to fight a lot and I realise now I was feeding him narcissistic supply of attention and drama. During that time, when we were arguing, he would not go to work due to the stress and fatigue our fights apparently caused him. Eventually he was demoted at his work and received a pay cut. I was blamed for this, for making him so stressed and in his eyes, being responsible for the "worst relationship of his life". Im still recovering from the guilt ive internalised regarding his career. We worked down the road from each other and he even cheated on me with someone in my office (which he blamed me for as one night after arguing in my apartment I made him sleep on the floor). I feel a narcissist will never see bad karma as a result of their own bad actions.
CC Hamming : I understand what you're saying. Mine said the same things. I had a 12 month relationship too, all the other targets walked away after 3 or 4 dates with him. TBH I probably was his worst relationship because I confronted him on every lie. He cheated so many times, and when I walked away he would pull me back in. I think his karma came through the fact that he can't now use all the spiel he was used to using to draw victims in. He has to think very carefully every time he opens his mouth wondering whether the new woman will be the type to confront him on his lies and make him feel inferior. Life's not so easy anymore for him, his delusional world has crumbled. I confronted him in public (this wasn't premeditated) and now he's had to lie more and more to re establish his ego and standing where other people are concerned. He used to love bomb women crazily on social media and now he leaves timid comments without all the hearts and kisses. He can't get the supply, the fuel or the attention he craves anymore. He's now targeting women from overseas. I just wouldn't let him walk all over me, but it was a good while before I realized I was being lied to and that has affected me so much that I still can't get over it. He's getting old and haggard. Whoever puts up with his personality are themselves disordered. Don't worry about what you think you did. They are adults and should look after themselves and stop blaming others. keep well :-)
Sea Fern isn’t it a bit nacistic of you to blame it on him? I get called a nacacist, didn’t even not what it meant. N I’m sure I’m not like any of these...
Thank you SeaFern. Yes that's good advice. Im working on getting over a lot of the guilt I've internalised and a lot of the blame he tried to put on me. I was even sexually assaulted by his ex, which he ended up blaming me for. Being an empath, I'm working on getting out of the denial of it all and realise that my ex never loved me and everything was lies and a charade. Your support and these videos help a lot. Many thanks!
He allready knew he was bad at his job and eventualy getting demoted. He started this fights with you to have an excuse not to go to work and face his incompetence.
Taja Krizman this may sound stupid but I never even considered that. It sounds so likely though. He had told me that he was really good at his job and ambitious but was bored of the role. I think he felt that he wasnt getting anywhere at work. I just internalised to much guilt and responsibility - even if he was late to work, it was my fault for not waking him up. And when I tried to wake him up, it was never the right way. Im so grateful for this community - my eyes are slowly starting to open. Thank you!
I think that a felony, jail time and loss of a 30 year career for a 56 year old narcissist is a good example of the "Karma bus". I put up with it for 2 years and after having a loaded gun to my head, I had him arrested. Now, I am in recovery, but with the weekly help from therapists and videos such as this, I KNOW I will reclaim myself.
My dad is a narcissist and loved pulling guns on me, my mom, my sister(she was 3 years old the first time) I was 15 the first time. He is now alone, my mom AKA his slave, has been dead 3 years now and my sister hates him and is no contact just as I am no contact with him. He reccently found out he has Leukemia. He will endure this with a little help from my son who lives 70 miles away and works 16 hour days. That "help" will be very little and far between, nothing like the ass kissing, babying bullshit my mom gave him for years. My son will probably help pick out a nursing home and take care of his dog. That will be about the extent.
My narcissistic manager fired me simply because I stopped paying attention to her when I realized she was a narcissist. I wrote a letter to the headquarters of the company exposing all the unethical and illegal things she was doing and she was fired. I lost a $40K/year job but she lost a $80k/year job (twice as much) and also her little side kick got fired for part taking in the illegal activities. I seriously doubt she will ever have a job like that again but I should have no trouble starting from the bottom again because I'm humble. Prideful people don't handle trials and tribulations very well. She did it to herself so I'd like to think it was karma.
@El Californio Good for you! Working for a narcissist is immensely difficult and I feel at times under-discussed. My former manager was a severely narcissistic person. He ultimately attacked and assaulted me on the job. I am now dealing with taking the company I used to work for to legal account. We spend more time at work than with our loved ones, sadly. I believe the workplace can be an even tougher place to endure narcissistic abuse and rage.
I also had a narcissistic woman in charge of 7 people as a lead at a hospital. she'd be attacking verbally one second then totally nice ten minutes later. she had me fired..and five to ten people over the years..I guess someone figured her out and realized she's causing damage and finally fired her
It’s better than Karma - it’s accountability brought on by her actions! Good for you standing up and taking action. Your life is better without a narc boss
Hi noybw333 that is so admirable Hun and that compassion for a narcissist comes when we heal our own wounds and completely understand what it is all about. Kudos to you!! xoxox
@@lightinthedusk Yes, it's known as a dichotomy, you/ I feel two opposite feelings at the same time. Don't know how one comes to terms with that. The good in you wants them to be healed and the hurt in you can't understand their actions, because you know you didn't deserve the treatment you got.
They need to ask the Lord to deliver than from that spirit. Until they do that they will never even get help from a councellor you cannot councell a demon you has to cast them out.
I know it is demonic cause I see in his eyes and I oftentimes see him and hear him fighting and cussing indesent language in his sleep. Also making like a roaring sound like he saying raaaaaaaaàaah and say something was fighting him he would say.
Thank you, Melanie, you speak the truth. I have learned to turn it over to God. He says, "Vengeance is mine". And in time I have learned to pray for their salvation. Because they are truly lost and don't even know it. In the meantime, I focus on self-love, self-care. And achieving my own personal hopes, goals, and dreams.
That they only prayer you can pray for their salvation. There are some people you cannot pray for you have to give them over to God those are some of the persons
This was amazing.My ex husband was a narc.He divorced me and suddenly died 2 days after our financial settlement hearing (needless to say uncompleted).His death was out of the blue .He has left behind a lot of malicious family on his side who all were used as his flying monkeys.I have no contact with them .Could you do a blog on narcs dying and the stuff they leave behind them ? (damaged relationships ,financial problems etc.) Also ,one tip I have to offer is ,if you have a narc. in your life ,get a small dictaphone and record them being abusive to you .I always used to hide mine in my bra.It saved my sanity to play it back to myself and remind myself who did what when he blamed me for everything or denied what he'd said .You are doing a fantastic job Mel.You have helped me immeasurably.Thank you .You get better every blog.xx
Thank you Michelle and my condolences to you Dear Lady and all you have been left with. I have made a note of your suggestion sweetheart. A that is a great practical tip for anyone going through this until they can get to heal the inner wounds and the narcissists becomes 'Not My Reality'. Love and blessings to you xoxox
I wish I could have recorded my narc, but he would have found it and gone on one of his insane rants. My sister did see him one time up in my face yelling and pointing at me like he used to do all the time and put a stop to it. She told him that he was being very intimidating and was scaring me, which he was. I guess because I was abused as a kid, I would just cave and did whatever he wanted due to fear when he did that.
The fact that they "prance off and it is like you never existed" is so frustrating and painful, it still makes me go mad every hour of the day. He looked at me, no sympathy in his eyes, and said stubbornly and coldly: "I have done nothing wrong. I have always treated you very nicely". I thought I'd scream. After all the abuse, making me break down so many times, having made me done things I didn't want and was traumatised from, while he never did anything for me except shifting from being nice to turning into a complete monster - accusing me of the wildest things, outright bullying me, and never ever caring about my feelings. And then they just drop you on the floor like a piece of garbage, and walk away. While you are left traumatised and broken for months and years, they are probably in someone else's (poor) arms the day after, not giving a shit about how you are. And I know that if he knew how I was doing, he would never acknowledge that he could have anything to do with it. This thought is so disturbing to me; this lack of guilt and responsability. I don't know if I want to live in a world with people who have such little compassion and introspection.
Sounds like you have been through so much x please don't let these people put you off living never let him.take ypir light and soul way the wolorld is full of nice people to please keep positive and strong sad to read your last line keep.living hun....
Thank you. It is true that there are many nice people. It is just so hard to know you actually loved someone who was not. And you always hoped they would change; realise things, see that they were being unreasonable. But no.
EscargoTouChaud it is hard it's a journey in recovery so I do understand x you will be confused and hurt but you have to except it happened first what you have been through... then your true recovery begins learn to love yourself again your well being is a priority now... in time you will heal and see things objectively good luck on your journey be strong don't look back or live in hope of change. Change you care for you...
I hear you. I’ve had similar thoughts. Not everyone is a nice person, or healthy. I just want to use this experience to practice more compassion for self and others that have gone through abuse. Use the experience to love yourself more and recognize red flags more readily in the future.
I'm a gemini I can deal with this sort of behavior than most!! I jus figure peoples puzzle and intentions out very quick and make accurate decisions on a persons heart not what they telling me and all that other bullshit. With me being a gem with this high sex drive I have ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'ma narc worst nightmare bc I'm only attracted to the shitty sexual narcs bc they are easy and besides why fuk over a good woman when these creatures are on the menu 😂😂🤣🤣. Simple and plain fuk over the fukers and excuse my language I jus keep it honest as u can c I don't have the brightest mins set but I do love me and I have compassion for decent human beings and I have a stiff **** for evil himan beings. I'm so extreme and disrespectful towards narcs that I literally flirt infont of their faces on purpose not to get a reaction but bc I really don't care about how they feel and they can beat up the lil feelings I got left it's cool. Feelings don't pay the bills or keep me grounded so they don't matter right now. Have fun and enjoy these people bc they are alot more fun that u thank u jus have to stay in control of u at all times and I mean at All times even while having sex 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 talking bout u love me and u wanna have my baby hell I bet u do I'm 31 with my own business. I know I'm a giving person and I know I can be too giving at times so I only keep real people around me anyway I don't let outsiders in to quick I been had the same friends for years I don't do new people bc of the narcs in my family I grew up watching this so it's easy to me.
I've dated a narc for 4,5 years. Thankfully, one day something burst inside of me and I had a sudden awakening of self love and utter disgust for him and everything he was putting me through. The day I left him, I have never looked back. He tried to hoover me, with no success, and thankfully a month after I broke up an angel of a man literally found me and decided to be protect and shelter me. We've been together for over a year and I'm finally learning what is true love and what a healthy relationship is (the narc was my first boyfriend). But I've learned so much about narcissism. When I was in the relationship, I couldn't understand what was going on; I thought I was going crazy, with all the gaslighting and manipulation. I am a very, very strong person and I believe that`s the reason he couldn`t let go or ghost me. He was so scared of losing his source. But it got to a point where I was getting anxiety and falling into depression; I couldn`t sleep, I couldn`t keep my weight to the point of getting skeletal. They`re shadows. Nothing is real: no love, no happiness, no enjoyment, no gratitude. They just exist, involved in a curtain of shadow, full of anger, despair and self hatred. Now when I remember, his stare is something of a nightmare, like staring into hell. Empty. Dark. His smile was calculated, much more like a grin. For anyone out there living with one: run and don`t look back. They`re devils. There`s no salvation for them, as they already live in a burning hell. As the saying goes: better to be alone than in bad company.
Great video. My ex-covert narc worked so hard maintaining her facade. She was exhausted and stressed all of the time. I was the one who provided the feel good and relaxation supply. I worked overtime to plan her happiness. Not only was it increasingly more futile because of her jealously that I had abundant joy, creativity and love to give not just to her but to others, but it became toxic and exhausting for me. She only worked to find fault with my giving, she also became more demeaning and devaluing in many ways. She craved negative reaction from me more than positive love because pain is her default. She once said early on during the lovebombing phase of our relationship, "if you ever leave me, I'll go crazy." She also said, "you love me because you like crazy women." And, "please don't ever leave me." Her core values are self loathing, embarrassment, shame, anger and other emotions that become negative when so out of balance for too long. She is empty and I have a great deal of empathy for her despite her constant attempts to use her fear and pain to find mine. The difference is as a healthy person, I want to face my fears and heal my pain whereas she only dodges and hides from hers. She is now 50 years old literally today and she is breaking down. She wanted me in her life and wanted marriage. This from a woman who bragged about never needing a man and flaunting having never been married before. She proposed and told everyone about me. She constantly tested me to see how much abuse I'd take and also take responsibility for. The moment I first challenged her on her behavior, she went into the classic narc injury rage and became violent. That was the end for me. I walked out of self respect but I feel so badly for her. I offered her friendship and offered to discuss our mutual life issues in order to explore why we don't last as a couple (this being our second try in 20+ years), but also to ensure that she and I would support each other in having healthier relationships in the future with others. She scoffed at and rejected this offer because she is more comfortable with how she is and her controlling negative relationship patterns with unaware victims. As soon as I shower awareness and exposed her even privately, she had no more use for me. 2 weeks after our break up her niece and her previous ex and father of her child came to me to see what happened. They wanted validation. I was honest and only told truths. She discovered this and stopped her hoovering tactics because I had proven that I could expose her publicly. I had gotten the better of her, and many people who knew about narc-empath/co-dependent relationships had said that "I had won" ... But I didn't feel that way. I felt like she'd never have a real life - only a series of false lives. And as an aging female narc, she was approaching menopause and her cigarette and pot smoking were taking her toll. Her body was producing gall stones and she could not maintain her facades for very long. Stress is taking its toll on her. I think she was looking for the man to take care of her in her latter years. I think in her mind I was perfect. The weirdest thing was that she enjoyed villainy and the villains in movies more than anything else in the film. She tried hard to appreciate empathy and love or romance as concepts. But she could not authentically feel or be those things. I feel bad for her and I will continue to feel worse as she ages. I am healed and onto a great part of my life in my 50's, no longer attracted to narcs or borderlines of any kind because I woke up and worked to understand and heal my childhood C-PTSD. I was raised by a borderline narc alcoholic mothet and an enabling co-deoendent father. Both had heavy narc traits and I became conditioned early on to ignore my own sovereign emotions and feelings and cater to those of others. I managed to shift that 180 degrees and life is sweeter than ever. It's like I have taken ownership and am now defining my own joyful life. But I really feel for narcs who will never find this joyful and healthy center of the universe in their own lives. I know, however they will return to love, as you say. That basic truth helps a lot. They will get there in this lifetime or the next.
Elizabeth Smart , it's a hero's/heroine's journey thru a very personal Hell. And I know that statement seems dramatic unless you've been through it. The fog lifts slowly. There are hard days. It took the council of a really good and savvy person to realize I was suffering C-PTSD from childhood conditioning and had to do a couple of things to manage myself out of that in order to more fully manage myself out of the affects of my ex covert narc. As empathetic out of balance into codependency, have all been conditioned for narc abuse. I am so very happy to hear that you belong to no one but your soveriegn self now! ☺ I wrote a lot because it was and still is personal stories beyond the theory be it clinical psychology or spiritual that helped me the most. Male victims of narc abuse are not always so forthright cuz we are also trained to be tough. It's the empath that suffers thru this feeling our emotional pain but also that of our abuser (s). We agreed to take on their illusion and sacrificed our own reality for it. They take over our mind, emotions, and body. They hijack us in a way. They want what we have and also hate us for what we have cuz they don't have it. It's nuts! We have to own all of our healing. Again, it's a slow process but also a wonderful opportinity to grow completely into ourselves if we get conscious. You sound strong and healthy. If you need anyone to express too, I will listen. I'm happy for you. Really happy. You go, girl!!! ☺☺☺
Elizabeth Smart , I also want to add that your heart is broken in order to give you the pain to wake up. My heart still aches some days. I still uncover lies, manipulations and insideous attempts gaslightong. The illusion lifts in pieces. It's so bizarre. They are alien to our type. They seem like aliens, inhuman monsters or demons but they are broken humans. No empathy is the very meaning of inhuman. Stay strong. Do not break "no contact." I was in a relationship with my ex covert narc 2x, I was married to a quiet borderline for 20 years and I dated another covert narc and an overt borderline to boot. It took my ex covert narc to wake me from that pattern. As woken empaths, we become passionate about the phenomenon we are going thru, our healing and spreading awareness. We become more powerful than even the most high functioning narcopath. And you, my darling, are on your way now too! 😉 I appreciate you. Again, if you need to express or exchange stories, email me: peterburnsfilms@gmail.com 💪 stay strong. We need support to get thru it.
I hope my narc experiences everything he put me and my daughter through in his next life. Last I heard though, he was still out of work and living with his mom. He's in his 50s now with no retirement saved up. He has the mentality of a child with the notion that he will be healthy enough to be able to work until he dies. I'm sure he's desperately looking for another victim to take advantage of like he did with me. He just used me for a place to stay while being abusive to me and my daughter, and then pretending as if he loved me. I've come to see them as parasitic tube worms, feeding on their host until the host dies or gets rid if them, and then desperately look for another host. What a shitty and stupid way to live.
Thank you Melanie ❤️ I also believe that we should concentrate more on own healing rather than thinking what our ex is through. This is a very difficult process. However when we concentrate and learn to heal we win. I am going through this healing now and know it is an extreme situation. Having people like you helps to keep the Spirit high because in the course of this healing process due to complexity it is difficult to predict what’s next. Blessings !
Barbara Brinkmeyer and what is *"LIFE"* ? It's the *Spirit-of-Christ Jesus* Your *spirit* needs *TO BE REBIRTHED*.... **_BORN AGAIN of the 'Spirit-of-God' by_** *GRACE thru FAITH* in the FINISHED work of Christ Jesus. Melanie would call *"Spirit-of-God"* a _FREQUENCY_ better if she called it the *ONLY ALPHA-OMEGA-FREQUENCY-POWER* (but she'll receive that wisdom eventually) And *ANYBODY* can _RECEIVE IT FREELY_ , by *BELIEVING IN JESUS* Once that happens, then *TRUE HEALING CAN BEGIN* by a _POWER_ that Melanie describes as *ONENESS* but she doesn't realize that *ONENESS is the new Spirit of LIFE in CHRIST JESUS.* It doesn't exist *seperate of the 'Spirit-of-Christ'* , who is the *'Son-of-God' w/Power*
Strangely, tonight I don’t seem to care about karma for my narcs, which is the polar opposite or how I normally feel. I may feel differently tomorrow (go back to wishing various karmic attrocities on them like I have for years now), but tonight I’m just more concerned about my wellbeing and feel like I have to get better because the aftermath of abuse has just been sucking the life out of me. Being angry, scared, sad and obsessed with them rather than enjoying my life for this long feels like it is killing me. Gotta turn my focus back to me.
Paula Sutton I totally relate to you Paula, I don’t care about Karma. I just want it all out of my head. The whole experience is crippling me in every way. No matter how strong I think I am, it weakens me. I just can’t see the end of it, feeling totally destroyed and worthless.
Sylvia I decided last night that I’m going to try NARP. I’ve been in counseling for three years over this last narc/sociopath and feel like I need to try a new way. My counselor has helped me a lot, so very much, but I need my own homework so to speak for in between sessions and to kick my obsessions which keeps me hurting. I want to talk more with my counselor about self discovery, boundaries and figuring out really who I am instead of going over the same stuff about my narc father and the narcs after him. She agrees that I know more about narcs now than her and need to quit learning about narcissism and sociopathy bc it just keeps me in the pain loop. I think I do it bc I think my knowledge will protect me and if I allow myself to forget things I will end up being taken by a narc or socio again. But really I think we move toward what we fear the most, so I need to assure myself that I do in fact know enough and have the knowledge to spot one and test one before getting involved. I’ve been way too other focused for five decades and feel like the clock is rather ticking for me to heal and try to find enjoyment in the years I have left. I’m sorry you are so hurt and I hope you will find your way to becoming healthy and whole and hopefully even happy (I know, hard to imagine at times, right?). I’d be fine with just being relatively at peace at this point.
EE Edwards thank you for your kindness and knowledge. Love and caring is so healing to a person’s spirit, isn’t it? It feels good to hang around and hear from kindhearted people, it works wonders 💜, which is why I love Melanie’s channel. There are so many good souls that gather here. I wish you, and everyone here all the best in your healing journeys.
I was already largely healed from 20 years married to a "super" Narc. But then, I discovered all these videos on narcissism. I was shocked at how textbook he was. He particularly likes gaslighting. Anyway, TOTAL healing came when I saw him for the Narc he is. It took the blame off me. It was wonderful! Now, I'm writing a book about it. I often say that "being" is far more important than "doing."
Currently healing from Narcissistic abuse, never have I worked so hard on myself. I am very much in a place of observation rather than reaction, a place I thought Id never reach. Self Love is growing by the day. When you educate yourself on this soul sickness you understand why it all had to happen. I have learned not just about Narcissism but so much about myself, my weaknesses, my past, my conditioning and why I attracted this kind of human and how to make sure I never will again. The most devastating yet rewarding experience I have lived and that's hard to believe given what I have experienced through my life. Please do the work on yourself, be honest with yourself and be gentle with yourself. Great video Melanie, your videos have all helped me so much... Blessings
I wish sometimes that I didn't but mostly I do, and I know deep down that somehow I'm being weak but there it is, I was so angry the other night I woke up and shadow boxed in the dark before I could go back to sleep, and I felt physically better but not at losing sleep so damn them. (sorry) Joan Curry.
love this. i can tell everyone from my experience, i have seen the narc when he was alone, not around people and parties and not being his false self. i have seen him when he was alone at home, and it was hell behind closed doors, it was like a depression. it was the scariest, saddest thing. they cannot stand to be alone, they need to constantly be out and living their false self/ this made up life, because their reality is the total opposite. when he was alone, he was like a zombie, dead in the eyes, zoning out watching tv til 4am i mean like 9 hours straight, playing video games on his phone. planning the next event, the next trip, the next party. looking up arts and music, theatre things and rehearsing his conversations, reading the economist and harvard business review and memorizing things to impress people. his actual reality was hell, in so much debt, childhood traumas, broken broke broken family on the sickest level. i felt so sorry. but in public, tells stories of the perfect life, family life, childhood memories, travels and all these fancy things. but i could recognize mental and emotional abuse and left i couldn't help it wwas only hurting me.
I’m a retired OBGYN. This is the only up to date video revealing the fact that its not just the leave vs lose option for the spouse of a narcissist. Your video no doubt comes from current, experience-based evidence rather regurgitation of old concepts. Thank you. Great job!
Thank you R. Chris Kuhne, I'm so pleased that you liked this. It is very current and I'm always researching so that I can serve the recovery community with effective resources. Love and blessings xoxox
I was married to a narcissist. His mother told me he felt sorry for me is why he married me. He told me he was my king for 25 years. Haha. Looking back at one time I loved him. Now I'm happily remarried. Glad to be away from his circle of lies and manipulation.
Mine just got sentenced to 4 years in prison and when he gets out he's got about five more felonies in another state to face. He could be in prison for many many years. Maybe even the rest of his life. Karma does come.
Dear Melanie, Im so glad to hear this talk. Ive read so much negativity towards narcs but outside of my own inner fractures which allowed me to dance with the narc, I did fall truly, deeply in love and I've been tortured thinking she wud be hurt any more. She reported she was ritualistically sexually abused and terrified so I feel very sad that she's in such turmoil. The part of me who is deeply compassionate doesn't want anyone to suffer, ESPECIALLY someone who was so traumatized as a child. This is something that really got to me as a teen Counselor. Those kids weren't bad kids, they had just suffered very bad things at a young age. God bless you, Kathryn (Cloud Woman)
Melanie, I appreciate what you had to say about looking beyond the scope of material objects and possessions in order to frame our reality. As a society we often forget these crucial details. The thing with my experience is that I stopped to care about what the narcissist had or did not have after I healed my major wounds, which I had to do by putting the attention on myself and not him. I am finally free. I am able to make my own choices and not feel guilty or scared of being harassed or accused of cheating. I am so thankful for my freedom, and I can finally say that I love myself for who I am. I am so ecstatic to celebrate my happiness and freedom that I was once unable to appreciate. There is no better feeling in the world. I would choose it over any amount of money, any size house, or any brand new car. On a side note: I would love for you and any other members of the community to listen to the song "Praying" by Keesha if you have not already heard it. It is such a beautiful song, and relates to what I just said in my comment above. You can't go through life focusing your energy on negative things happening to others. It only hurts YOU. The only thing you can do is live your life to the utmost degree of happiness while letting go of and forgiving yourself and your narcissist for what they have done. I personally see it as a good thing that happened to me nowadays, and for those of you not there yet, I know that you will one day see it. I am so strong and thankful. Much love to the community and you too, Melanie. Thank you for all that you have done, continue to do, and will do. :)
Bally Kaur Honestly, above everything else, time. I took the time to rediscover myself and do the things that I enjoy and love. I lost sight of them during my experience with emotional abuse. The transition was tough, but the feeling of freedom eventually overcomes the guilt that we face from not doing as our abuser would wish. Spend time on yourself. You're all you've got, and you're all that matters. :)
I’m almost 100% sure my last relationship was with a narc ... I was soooo confused but have a good sense of self and immediately knew something was wrong. He started verbal abuse about 8 weeks in his family aided him. After I cut off contact 11 months in (mind you after he kept threatening to leave me for absolutely no reason) he threatened to ruin my life and proceeded to send horrible messages to my job and colleagues about me, contacted my family and told horrible lies, and created multiple fake social media profiles (even in my name) and contact people I know. God only know what stuff he did I didn’t find out about ... I remained calm the entire time, and manage to cut him off 100% but soon after I started having very bad panic attacks for the first time in my life. Needless to say, I’m in recovery and consider myself lucky I was pretty smart about this relationship in spotting this toxic behavior. I pray if this ever happens again, I leave as soon as I see the signs. I still feel a little angry, but for the most part I realize this has nothing to do with me other than I could see how I need to love myself and heal issues that allowed a narc into my life ❤️ love and peace everyone!
KhaBose the exact same thing happened to me after I flitted from a narc/sociopath I lived with for five years, he did ALL those things 20 years ago now before I knew what narcissism was... contacted him only ONCE to warn him from sending his flying monkey rent boys to follow me everywhere! I told him I'd smash into their cars & call the police on him. He pretended he didn't know what I was talking about in that butter wouldn't melt kinda way! I raised my voice a bit and said " I KNOW it's YOU!" And since then I haven't been followed. I'm still alert for being followed though, even after 20 years, coz I KNOW he will still be watching me on the internet. I use aliases anyway and I'm not a social butterfly so there isn't much he hasn't already seen. He's a covert one, and has had NO OTHER partners to abuse. I know he tries to get supply from dating sites, but he's gay and hides that fact from his family so he pretends to like girls to make him look 'normal.' He only has his family for supply now, and whereas he was bragging in that 'I'm not really bragging' kind of a way all over the internet 20 years ago, all those pages have now come down and there's no mention of his name, anywhere! He was [his name] rescue pages, his name on photos everywhere bragging. He PRETENDED to like animals and rescuing them. However, I would do the rescues HE would take the credit for it; on the website, newsletter and local newspaper. He would stay in bed while I did it all, now, according to another group he is not contactable, even by phone! He's either gotten into big time troubles, or been found out for who he TRULY is - or both I suspect! BEWARE the COVERT, they are scheming, calculating and are brilliant at gas lighting! They put on the feel sorry for me act really well! I hope you get over your experience as well as I have. ❤️
Thank you for you wise and thoughtful words. I am recovering from a narcissistic and alcohol dependant husband - I left last year after 26 years. He has the car, the family business, the money etc etc etc and by the way - our 4 kids too. So although this is a lonely place and I am financially insecure , I am healing and getting stronger, more resourceful and mor confident every day - learning to love myself, speak up for what I want and believe and also say NO. I agree with what you say about the narcissist using your energy to fuel their behaviour. So important to keep right away from them, have nothing to do with them at all and use all your wonderful life affirming energy to build back a wholly positive and loving sense of being. We are all one in love and life.
Hi Georgina, you can rebuild your life and heal the wounds sweetheart then you will be stronger than ever before. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/ If you'd like me to show you how please check out my inner transformational resources www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings to you xoxox
I needed to hear that as the ex narc lives extravagantly and lives better than myself and our kids while giving next to nothing to help. I am happy without him. I have the kids, the pets, our modest but loving home...my sanity!! I shouldn’t feel bitter that he is better off financially and it has been destroying my peace for some time. Thank you for this Melanie, you opened my eyes.
Wow, my story is very much like yours. My kids are grown, but are still close to me (not him) and I am so much happier with less than he will ever be with all the stuff he kept. Even as he surrounds himself with people all the time, I have never met a loneliest and most miserable person than him. Thanks to me walking out on (him) after 27 years, I was able to get close to God and find such freedom and happiness.
You r so right in what u said!! My narcs live a miserable life while I’m developing my life! My narcs had mental disorders and now their lives are falling apart. I’m doing things I never thought I could do (and things my narcs said I couldn’t do) and I’m becoming the person I always wanted to be while my narcs sit and watch tv all day. The narc never has a happy ending!
My father destroyed himself and his family and his family legacy. His children whom he triangulated are not close. Therefore, his grandchildren have no relationship with their cousins. It effected everyone. The last conversation I had with him the day before he died, he was hateful and venomous, bringing up things that happened years ago that didn't mean anything. He just hated me. He visited me in a dream a few years ago. It seemed so real. He looked so much younger than I remember him. Thirty years younger. He seemed apologetic and he was trying to tell me something, but it was like he was talking through water and I could hear him laugh, but I couldn't make out the words. I know that he isn't at peace and he would have to pay for what he did if there is any justice in the Universe. I hope to never see him again.
Amazing presnetation. Thank you so much Melanie for the good work. I just came out of an 11 years relationship with a Narc and starting to realize what has happened to me. It is like I have been abuses in my childhood and as grown up person you understand what has happened to you. You are such a wonderful person, full of kindness and compassion. Thank you again.
My ex husband is now going thru this. He was an International Male Model in the 80's. He based his entire life on looks and recognition. Thought he was every womans dream. Now, he's 67, bald, toothless and looks 90 from all those 'party boy look at me' days. He lives with he 91yr. old mother now. Isn't bringing in the big bucks and living on SS. Plus, he can't attract the 'young pieces of ass' he so craves. His karma came back HARD. He looks like the crypt keeper and stuck with his 91yr. old complaing mother because he's got no one else and no one else wants him. I love karma!
Thanks! Timely message for me as i have been separated for three months. They have all that I built including home, car and my only child of 2 1/2. I did my best to heal having left the country for two months only to come back and have her making things difficult by witholding access to my son and personal goods. I felt my mind slipping back into a traumatised state. I need to regain it. Thanks again your words are helpful and encouraging!
You are so welcome Kevin - have you considered connecting with my free resources to help you further? www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse I would love you to take up the invitation in there to join me in the free webinar so I take you through a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself - it will soothe the mind and bring you back to your body where the true healing can take place. Love and blessings to you xoxox
You guys who have been abused and tricked by a narc...hang in there. you at least have some peace and rest from their perpetual whining ..needy...entitlement..blaming you self. oh my gosh...I am free of the lies and hateful remarks and wanting more money and withholding my grandchildren from. me if she didn't give her what she wanted. lazy..selfish ..and always complaining about something...My daughter was my narc. I had to break spiritual ties even. I haven't seen my grandchildren in two yrs. she blocked me and made them block me. shetold my granddaughters father I was dead 9 yes ago and just found that out . sick people will try to destroy you too. be happy...God is in control..not them. I pray and God has healed me of the destructive person I loved so much...my own daughter. someday...My grandchildren will find out the truth. God help them when they do. All narcs are
All narcs do not know God. pray that God can someday reach them before it is too late. Be of good cheer...Break the soul ties with your narc and be grateful you are FREE. 😁. LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL. Be brave ...be Warriors of Good...hugs.
@@trishgreen3582 best brief comment str8 to reality. Really good point. Amen my God works out what the devil does to us as a benefit to those who love him, His ppl. God loves me to much to not have revealed it all to me and protect and heal me from it all and better me double and triple my blessing along the way. Trained my hands and tounge and spirit to fight His enemies and manifest to me my best appointed and anointed husband ever. PRAISE & WORSHIP NO MATTER WHAT
Just escaped a 3 year relationship with my ex girlfriend covert narcissist, she took me to the brink of sanity with emotional and mental manipulation, she literally made me sick. They are like black holes that suck your life force from you.
Beingness Yes!!!! I love having my peace back, love a walk, a hike, a quiet in my home, and having no anger around me, having God who allowed me to know I can live without being hated for someone else's self dissappointment.
Thank you so much dear sister. Your words are absolutely timely and freeing. Healing is freedom. I am so grateful xo I was married to my Narcissist husband for 28 years. The first 24 years seemed healthy, though I know know that they weren’t. My, now ex, became a correctional officer and then began 4 years of narcissistic cruelty. In the end, I left in the middle of the night and fled 4000 miles away. I had finally become angry and it was a turning point for me. What you say is true, he tried to make everyone believe I was crazy and swore I would get nothing. First it was survival mode and now healing begins. I really appreciate your insight
"I'm going to give you more of what you are being." That message is going on my refrigerator. This video, at the end, moved me to tears with its message of hope. Thanks.
Aww Kimberly I am so delighted this video gave you a message of Hope. There is hope sweetheart. I would love you to connect to my free resources, if you haven't already, to help you further in your recovery journey. You sound so ready to take that next step www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings to you xoxox
Divine Goddess 47 ,I've been there they are disgusting creatures.The Little Sharmen on utube give her a listen she explains it simpley and powerfully what your up against.Tip do your best to not react in anyway to Narc ,stalking let police know of it.Turn off location on your phone.I wish you well.
Whoa! Incredible.... My x always complained about boredom. Always!! Me? Stressed! I was always stressed and burnt out and was desperate for peace and rest! *sigh* Thank you so much ♡
1.5 years ago i would have bursted into tears should have i listend to this so if u are going through i can tell u melanies technique was a treasure to me. It opened the doors to even further good selfhelp people and spiritual teachers,today i am able to understand better. I know it’s hard to hear the words abundace and happiness now. But gurl if a cyincal male witch like i am can reach such a state. Why wouldt u? Beautiful episode mel.
It is great watching you Melanie. You have a way of expressing things on a different level. "That the Narcissist needs your fear to hurt you" is so very true. When I was still in the deep pain of abuse recovery about 15 months ago, your comments on "codependentcy" enlightened me to something I was (to that point) unaware of. Today I understand what it was in my upbringing that made me codependent. Thank you my friend.
My dad was a narcissist. His own body killed him; an extreme autoimmune syndrome that normally attacks women. Putting on my C.G. Jung hat, it was clear it was his own anima that did him in.
My dad was one too. He passed away in 2015. I am trying to heal as well. It was a super confusing childhood, teens, and young adult years. He is gone, but the aftermath trauma remains , in what it did to me. I am a survivor.
Yes, forgive from afar, from very, very far away. As for the blessings from God, they refuse them because narcs think they are superior even to God. So, don't waste your time in blessings. Bless victims all over the world. And stay away from narcs.
This video made me happy. Because while I did leave my narc ex, I felt bad for him because I just want him to be happy even tho I know he might not be happy with anyone or with anything. I almost feel like it's not his fault that he is the way he is--I think that's what kept me coming back again and again. But now, I know he can never change his ways and I can't let it hurt my anymore. I really tried my best and he's still blaming me for ending our relationship even tho it ended because of his lies and actions. I went no contact for the first time ever with him, and it's causing me anxiety but this is the only way. The end of this video made me happy for him tho--to know in the end he will always receive love and end in love. That's all I want for him--truly. For us both really--but I'm gonna have to learn to love him from afar and never speak to him again.
I too would rather live in a shack as an empath than live in a mansion as a narcissist, or phycopath. I developed some interesting abilities dealing with my narcissistic family. They seemed to attract other narcissist and psychopaths as friends. They also seemed to make each other mutual victims. The abilities that I picked up were: I could instantly detect a lie I often could accurately quote word for word what someone would say. I could detect phony or empty people instantly. I could detect when someone was deceiving others. I could detect attacks before they happened. The most dangerous ability I have is if I get to know someone, or shake their hand, I knew accurately down to the minute when they would die and detalies about their death. I can locate people I know, just by letting my mind be still.
Hell. That's their fate. Sad, but true. They REFUSE to repent or ask for true forgiveness for Anything. They are above reproach. Their pride & ego are far too great for repentance and/or true forgiveness. Heart & mind darkened, concious seared, they will die, miserable & alone, after burning every bridge.
tommy d *Christ Jesus came to set them FREE from that* by _MAKING THEM FREE THRU REBIRTHED-SPIRIT_ you're *blind, using man's logic* and are exposing your lack of *God's logic* Who made you *BELIEVE* what you typed?
tommy d I didn't know you had a copy of the *LAMB'S BOOK OF LIFE* _WITHOUT ALL NAMES IN IT OF EACH WHO WILL ENTER HEAVEN_. *WOW!!!* Can I get a copy of that?? And also, that's a really cool *unicorn you're riding around on!* Where can I get one?
iBelieveth Unicorns? Not me brother. I live my life by the Holy Bible. I'm not into fairy tales. Scripture tells us that EVERY PASSAGE was inspired by the Holy Spirit, & that's ALL I need to live my life, do right, trust God, & Continue studying His Word. Christ has SET ME FREE. Unfortunately, there are those who CHOOSE evil, & God loves them enough to Allow them the free will to do so. They CHOOSE to hurt, to steal, to destroy, siding w the one mentioned in John 10:10. That's THEIR Choice, & unless they Meaningfully Repent w a true heart, their fate is sealed. There is no serving two masters my friend. It's one, or the other. I choose Jesus. HE is my Rock, my Savior, my Friend. And when I die, I will live, eternally, with my heavenly Father. There's such peace in knowing that. I pray all those poisoned by the narcissist turn to Christ. It's a crossroads. I experienced the evil. I had a choice...to participate, & tolerate, living a False narrative, or Breaking Free, to seek the Truth. I pray others have the wisdom to make the right choice. God bless you my friend.
I liked this video a lot, for it places our greatest gift, that of compassion (even for a narc) back into our light. Narcs are our brothers and sisters from our common source, having their very own life path and obsticles. They are not "monsters", they are just on their own path and based on their level of consciousness, act on their impulses. Forgiveness is huge and a powerful healing tool for all involved. Breaking the cycle of hatred and violence. Imagine, the narc chose this life experience (being a narc), to give us the opportunity to grow. Changing the perspective can be a great way of healing oneself. God bless all of you!
Melanie you have changed my life. I didn’t quite get that narcissism was a real malice until I started watching your videos a few years ago. I have since healed some of my wounds and have a much better life.
My dad was a narcissist. Constantly put all my siblings and in abuse, cheating and stressing out my mom and turning her against us. As adults, my sister has become a narcissist while my other two siblings are lost and disconnected with them selfs. I was once there but now I’ve taken the time and care for myself to put myself back together mentally and spiritually. What I can tell you is, they do pay. A life long time of pain. My dad didn’t take care of himself (he was diabetic) and diabetes eventually took his life. It was pathetic because even on his death bed, he asked if anyone would miss him. These people are truly weak and lost. It easier to use people to fuel you than to take a step back and realize you have a problem that needs to be healed. Trust me, they do suffer. Maybe not visible to the naked eye, but a endless war they will never win within themselves. You’re strong, you’re great, you’re perfect just the way you are. Please remember that everyone! ❤️❤️❤️
This is so very true. I studied the traits of narcissists & empaths & compared the difference. I came to understand how the personalities process differently. Empaths may well become overwhelmed before process but love returns when you let go of the need for retribution. Your freedom destroys their plans. Narcissists never produce their own love or happiness. It's all image & don't be fooled by the over joyass care free display. You breaking free & moving on is their greatest fear. Mine said she wasted ten years when she discarded me. Yup... 10yrs of training to be a slave wasted & now need to sucker another. My narcissist helped me heal all from my past. Helped me get over my Dad's death which hurt for 25yrs. I'm so happy walking alone & coming back to the light of love 😊
This is brilliant Melanie and thankyou. When I discovered the truth about him, I was so upset. Initially after my shock, I went through the sadness, then the anger. I imagined my having steel boots on and wanting to kick him in his scrotum. Of course my anger has subsided when I gained knowledge of how their minds are wired differently. I don't wish Karma on him. I wish him happiness but I realise he will never be happy. I will devote myself to being happy and am grateful that I met him as he was as you say Melanie, for me to love myself and look within, 💞💞💞
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have given me food for thought and hope. Some people have told me that I’m crazy and/or dumb after admitting I worry about the narcissist who affected my life so horribly, but their feedback hasn’t helped and just made me feel worse. I can understand their concern because of the pain he’s caused me, but I can’t help feeling sometimes such immense sadness over the quality of life he could have. Realistically, I honestly don’t believe he will (can?) change in this life, and it shatters my heart to think of him old, alone, maybe in poor health, and still as spiteful as ever... I made the mistake of loving him more than I cared about myself for a long time which gave him so much power. Now I am doing my best to heal myself for myself, yet with that comes trying to educate myself about it all, so knowing how empty his Being is on his path...it’s so hard at times for me still. So thank you for making me feel not so alone or judged for my feelings, and thank you for sharing the message of light at the end of the tunnel.
You are SO welcome BGBPW and if you'd like to know more on how I can help you, I would love you to join me in the free healing workshop where you will get to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
Had a short term fling with a female narcissist at work. She was very friendly at first but constantly threw her ex boyfriends under the bus....Hell she gossiped about the boss on my first day which I ignored. Months later she began a slander campaign for the simple reason that I didn’t want a relationship whilst we worked together. She turned into a monster, her looks her sarcasm became so vicious. I could feel the bad vibes when I walked into my job. All of the sudden her the boss became buddy buddy. They would deliberately talk about how much fun they had in front of my face and insult me behind my back. I became depressed for months ....Months later she approached me and told me the boss had been blackmailing her for sex, and she’s been having serious problems at her new job. And I quit and found a job that pays much much better.Talk about karma.
These videos are absolutely wonderful. I was raised by a narcissist so of course I was trained to be one as well. I'm working towards not being under her control which isn't easy. Videos like these really help. Please keep up the good work.
I met the group of malignants I know after ten years, and they had some many diseases (cancer, car accident, failed surgeries). I actually warned them ten years ago about this. But instead of this waking them up, they are just using all these new maladies to garner more pity from others. Wouldn't you know it? How could it be any other way?
Hi persiamotorman - Sounds 'normal' to me Hun. Unfortunately, narcissistic behaviour intensifies as the narcissist grows older and can become more extreme to gain some narcissistic supply. Turning the focus back to who we can change is key and that person is us, detaching from the narc and laying very strong boundaries went we can't go no contact, self partnering and healing the trapped trauma inside of us. Then there is NO narcissistic supply to be had by ANY narcissists. Hello thriving!! Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Just found these videos, and they are helping so much . I was so hurt by my narc ex wife, that I wanted retribution. But I got help and just kept on living . I ended up with my children and the true love of my life .It has gotten better. But the narcissist is going down hill fast . And you can see her pulling the energy out of everyone around her. The children won't have anything to do with her anymore. Awful life but one of her own making.
They really ARE dead, already. I never really got the reality of this till this moment. After 4 years of learning about it, leaving my ex partner, and now I discover my 'friend' is one too; my God !! Thank you Melanie. My fear was all I had to fear !!!!!
I was with a Narc for 2 1/2 years. I left him for good on March 29, 2018. I got a lifetime Protection From Abuse PFA and since he sexually assaulted me and evidence is on my side, he may end up incarcerated losing everyrhing.... his military career and federal employnent. He thought he could do anything he wanted and then lie his way out of it. He has abused so many women before I came along. After leaving court, he was crying and shaking saying how his life is ruined and he mines as well kill himself. It was still about him, nothing about what he had done to me. I hope he does not kill himself and did report this so a welfare check was done. But to answer question, narcs are sad and miserable always even during times that I thought were good, he was mostly miserable!
At least you were smart enough not to waste 20 or more years with this Narcissists if more woman had some courage to leave instead of accept abuse they would not have so many pity stories on here.
The awful thing about these narcs is the provocation they indulge in. Relentless name-calling, and ridicule, and they try to make you believe you deserve it all. NOT ANY MORE!!
Dear Mel, I started NARP last week and there's no way I could face the situation I'm facing right now (parental alienation of my child by the narc in my life) without the tools you provide. I am so deeply grateful for you and your beautiful work! I love NARP, version 3 is easy to follow and there's a ton of support and invaluable information. I've been feeling way, way better now. By the way, you look like a goddess, even more gorgeous in the light -in every way :)
I am so glad that you had this video on my UA-cam feed. No matter what the narcissist has done to me in the 30 years that we have been married or the 2 people who did a terrible thing to me at work and made me go through hell, after doing all this shadow work, I honestly cannot wish that they go through hell because they had no choice in becoming who they have become. I cannot believe that I wrote that after all the years of agonizing pain and sorrow and anger that I have gone through. Light & Love to you, Melanie, for the tireless work that you have been doing in order to illuminate and clarify this terrible situation. 🌟🌟🌟🌹🌹🌟🌟
Dear Indira, l'm married to a psychopathic narc...for 27.5 years...not knowing what real love is...or why he doesn't hug me...or to feel his happiness when he's with me...my soul is screaming out for peace and longing...but is getting nothing of the latter,except screaming, swearing, false aligations, l'm the worst thing that happened to him....and l can go on and on.....l'm sooo alone and l don't know how much longer l can endure this....so all l can say is - l feel what you're going through....you're not alone..
tweety bird - the one thing that should be very clear in what I wrote, is that, because I do not wish hell on them, it does not mean that I wish to remain in this situation. We are at NO CONTACT now although we are living in the same house. I only need to have the courage to move out with my daughter and begin from scratch. That is the scary part, starting from scratch at 56. I no longer have the tiniest vestige of love for this man. I am only thankful that through the hell that I went through with him, I began to heal myself. Today, he has no emotional power on me. Tweety bird, please began to heal yourself. I don’t know what kind of a soul contract you signed with this person but no one, I mean no one deserves to be treated like a narcissist treats you. Everyone deserves love and happiness. So much love and so much light I shower on you, so that you can feel that great enveloping hug of warm beautiful love. 🌹🌟🌹🌟🌹🌟♥️
tweety bird - please do not endure “no love”. Nobody should have to endure that. But you need to do the shadow work so that you heal yourself otherwise you will feel miserable and probably will end up going back to him or simply attracting the same kind of person to your life. Please do the work, Honey.
Thank you Indira for your kind words of hope...l have shut my emotions towards him ages ago...because l saw l wasn't getting anywhere with him, so l didn't want to waste my positive energy on him anymore...the kids 'see' the situation and they're on my side - we have four sons, ages from 15 - 25y old....l see him as a miserable and negative person whom l put up with...he works in another country...l'm glad he's not here...the funny thing is how he doesn't see that he's an aggragator and how he wants everything done his way otherwise he goes balistic....but l don't care anymore...l don't wish him any harm but l'd love to have him out of my life full stop....
I'm learning how to let go. this video was very helpful. when I heal my beingness I hope to get the same outcome in court as well. I have to learn how to talk calmly first so he don't win in trying to take our son
These videos are a part of my healing process. I was involved with a narcissist for 10 years. I have finally cut him off completely shortly after realizing that he was indeed a narcissist. There is nothing I can do to get back all those years but I have learned. I will continue to heal and hope that he too will get a ride on that Karma bus. Blessings to you and those who put this valuable information out there for people that need it. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and shedding light on this complex and vicious psyche violence many of us suffer from. Narcissistic abuse is an abuse on deeper soul level yet we seem to know little about it. Keep us thriving and again THANK YOU!
My mother was a textbook narcissist. She died at the age of 86 from pancreatic cancer. I wouldn't wish that end on anyone...however, I'm not sure if that is her "karma" that you talk about. Other than the horrific cancer at the end of her life, she didn't seem to be suffering AT ALL. I am the youngest of 4 siblings. My oldest brother and I both moved 100s of miles away from her. She never really messed with my oldest brother but I became the scapegoat, the punching bag and the proverbial black sheep of the family. My other brother (the younger of the 2) and my sister kissed her rear end nonstop. This brother was the golden child all the way and my sister was the wannabe golden child. My sister was constantly catering to our mother even at the expense of the rest of her family. When my mother died I felt relieved. She wasn't here on Earth, any longer, on a never ending quest to belittle me and hurt me. My sister and my golden child brother are now alcoholics. My oldest bro and I seem to be the ones that have survived her ego. I had to go to counseling after she passed away because I was so angry at how she spent the last 1/3 of her life hurting me and beating me up mentally and emotionally. While I feel like I'm on the other side of the damage she's caused and I've forgiven her, those old feelings flare up every once-in-a-while and I have to have a talk with myself until I'm grounded again. Maybe she felt miserable and alone on some level but I wouldn't know because I rarely talked with her. Thanks for the video.
You are so welcome Olive Baranch, I am so glad this video helps. Narcissists do live very limited lives going from one source of supply to the next trying to eek out and ration what they need (narcissistic supply) to motivate and fuel their lives. They are extremely insecure people and they are themselves unstable. They are envious and very sensitive to all of the input they get which they interpret through their perspective that the world and the people in it are hostile and dangerous. Can you see the limitations such a view of life could impose on someone? And then needing to impose her perspective on her children so that her needs and expectations could be met by them because she was not capable of meeting the needs of her children, and teach them how to function well in a world she retreated protectively from. I wouldn't wish that affliction on my worst enemy. Though it was very hard for you to go through such a childhood, your capacity to carry the emotional burden and finally to seek to resolve it, you actually ended up with the better part. You are capable of becoming aware of this dynamic and healing yourself from it. Your siblings are less so as they were conditioned to mitigate their own discomfort through a scapegoat, a substitute for actually resolving our emotional issues ourselves. You will be able to move on from this, they may never be able to. It is the scapegoat that is more likely to make a full recovery though typically, they do this independent of their families. I would love you to sign up for my free resources so that you can go further in your recovery. There is so much to look forward to. You can sign up here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htmLove and blessings xoxox
I read your narrative and I felt as if I could write the same thing about myself. My mother died at 89 an unrepentant demonic narcissist. At every huge tragedy in my life [and I had so epic hurricane-like tragedies] my mother was not there landing succor but pushing me over the edge just a little more. Yes "relieved" was the word when she died. At first I felt guilty for feeling relieved when she died. But I got over that short-lived feeling. I feel quite relieved actually and there is no guilt.
This is so true, my ex husband is now ill and ex boyfriend is lonely and lost. No inner peace at all. I was once broken grom a narcotic mother then husband followed by a string of narcotic dates . I worked hard and long. Now i'm free i'm happy on my own embraced freedom and i am running businesses where once i couldn't even hold a job . Please leave it to God to handle them and he does. focus on yourself , once you're healthy you won't even care what their doing and how their doing. Have mercy on them . When you heal, you are also expanding life force to others without doing anything, just is. Start trusting life and do the inner work. Thank goodness for media that is making life easier to give a direction. God bless
You've been helping me so much through the roughest time of my life and when you said psychic vampire. I'm telling you that is true this man always knew what I was feeling and thinking he's extremely cunning. He knew how much i needed him everyday. You didnt say anything silly. He would tell me that he loved watching me do things he wasnt brave enough to do like talk to people in public. He was living off of my experiences. He would turn to online porn for control and power over the woman on live cam. He told me how he didnt know how to feel emotion. Would spend hours and days studying videos on youtube on everything. He told me he was using all of those things to cope through his suicidal thoughts stemming from childhood. He was alwayssss sleepy. Why. Cause it took all of his energy to pretend to feel things for me and life. Things that i found out through these videos. Ultimately the last straw for me. It was infidelity in my eyes his online chats with woman. Plus drank alcohol everyday. He helped me through so much child trauma he is typical of everything that I've been hearing and I was so confused and didn't know why when we had such a soulmate bond Which he would admit could he constantly leave me and never came back to work on things. I always went after him. I needed answers and would let him back in even though i was breaking inside. And I never ever chased a man especially after basically cheating on me. My identity was stolen I was so tired all the time no matter what I do it was never enough to make him be present in the moment. He never validated me. I would have to fish compliments yet he gave them away to others so easily online and in my face and it's been such a confusing time for me but these videos have helped me with the anguish in my heart because he is like a drug I miss him everyday and because of this I'm getting through my day every day for the last 5 days. I know now why I was going crazy. I felt like i didnt know who i was anymore. I was tired. I knew he wasnt making me happy. I told him so many times he doesnt care. I came off needy and felt stupid. I felt ugly or not good enough. Now i know the truth. All of it. And it all defines him and our relationship. I mourn the man he was pretending to be. So he could use me for sex,a place to stay,and living through my experiences I literally taught him how to love or thought I was. Thank you. I wake up first thing i feel is a burn in my chest. I am never going back anymore. Id rather lean on myself then lean on someone who never intended on a future with me. Of course he told me what i wanted to hear. Marriage and kids. He never wanted that. I pray for his soul. Im a godly woman and he pretended to be that. But hes a flat out evil doer. His family is oblivious to who he is. They baby him. Fly monkeys. I do feel like I was fighting a whole group of people. Hes incredibly charming and charismatic. But behind closed doors he sleeps his life away. Isnt driven. I am driven. Fully energetic. He took my life force but im getting it back. I blocked EVERYTHING DELETED EVERYTHING. I expect him to come back of course. But wont say a word. I used to weep when he came around believing it was me who was flawed. Manipulation was on point. Just wanted to share my stories.
We tend to define success by fame and fortune, but think about a person who spends their life doing missionary work and they touch and help countless people. These people feel needed and wanted and there is purpose to their lives and a sense of accomplishment. One who is at peace and touches the lives of countless people is successful in my book. Just my thoughts on the matter. :)
I moved from sadistic narcissistic mother who almost killed me several times. It was 20 years of my life during which she was destroying me. Survived through physical and emotional abuse. Suffered through depression and PTSD. Now I'm healing. I have the best friends, husband, his relatives. It's been 11 years we are together. I truly believe karma exists. Thanks for the video, I wish the best to everyone watching this and to you. Please, don't give up!
Hi Melanie it feels as if I am getting destroyed as I’m aging. I have not been able to heal and move forward.. I don’t think I’m a narcissist but all the things you said about the aging narcs, feels like is happening to me. I don’t know who I am anymore and it feels as if I’m being annihilated. Why is this so hard to heal from? The loneliness and the sense of having lost everything I held dear, is unbearable. I still feel devastated for all I’ve lost ... and it has been years since N discarded me. My life has changed for the worst and I feel stuck in a life that isn’t my own. Even family members who I loved, have estranged me. It’s been a nightmare!!! I wish I could feel joy again but In all these years the underlying theme in my life has been the pain of the discard, betrayal and humiliation that hides underneath my forced smiles. God help me! Blessings to you Melanie.... thank you for your labor of love
Aww Truth Walker you are not too old to heal Sweetheart. This video will show you why I say this blog.melanietoniaevans.com/too-old-to-recover-from-abuse/ and this recent episode gives you examples of people who have felt like you do now and have come through to the other Thriver side ua-cam.com/video/UnOsOeOOdYg/v-deo.html I hope these give you some hope. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Thank you Mel. It seems they are always one step ahead of their target. Mine found a new supply while we were together and I think she is just like N? They managed to leave me financially destitute. I'm having a very difficult time forgiving the harm that has been done. The abuse had a great impact on everything in my life. Blessings
Truth walker Hi,Truth walker you are in a crisis I have been there I've been crying out to God the Lord is willing and able to help I read Psalm 34:15-17 every day and nite You will heal stay safe stay healthy God bless you 💜
I left my abusive narc 30 yrs ago when our daughter was 2 months old. He didn't even look for me until a month after I left. I started my life over with my daughter with no help from him. I met and married a nice man who legally adopted our daughter. We went on to buy a house and have another child together. We've been married 32 yrs now and have had a happy life. Both children are grown and are living happy lives.
The ex narc is still drug addicted and cheating on his partner of 27 yrs. I want my story to bring hope to anyone who's in a dark place right now. Your day to shine and be happy is coming. Listen to Melanie, and just focus on yourself and being happy and healthy. Love yourself first.
Thank you for your endorsement Misty, love and blessings to you xoxox
Misty Vegas How do you go from being with a soul-destroyer to finding a nice man? I have yet to meet a non-toxic, emotionally available man. I know I'm part of my problem, but what soul-work did you do to change who you attract? Or did you later discover that your current husband is codependent or emotionally unavailable just as the other(s)?
Jul ofDenial My daughter was 2 mos old when I left the narc. She was my priority. Her wellbeing and safety was my main focus. I wasn't even thinking of dating bc I had been through so much abuse from my ex narc. My parents had a coworker of my dad's helping them do a kitchen remodeling at the time. (My future husband) He was in the process of a divorce from a narc. And he wasn't looking for anyone either. To make a long story short, he helped me by changing my locks and was very sweet & kind to my daughter. We became friends, I met his family, ect. My parents approved of him. It all fell in place. I knew he wss very different from men I had dated, ect. He stood out from the crowd. By this time I knew what I needed in a partner. I told him that the next relationship would be a forever commitment. And he didn't even flinch. He totally agreed. He was wanted a committed forever partner too. So by the time my daughter was 8 mos old, we we're married and a family. And at 1 yr old, he legally adopted her. The ex narc never contested. Thank God.
Then later we had our son.
Just know what you need in a partner and stick with that. Never settle for less. Mainly focus on you and your happiness.
Misty Vegas thanks that hold us together 1 more day.we will get that glow as u did one day.
Misty Vegas thank you for sharing. I left my narc two weeks ago and I’m 12 weeks pregnant. I’m happy to hear someone with a story like mine that came out with a real true happy ending. Gives me hope even though I’m still allowing him to hurt me currently. Reading these gives me a bit more strength each and every day. ❤️
The best revenge on a narc is no contact and live a better life without them...
Agreed
Yep no other answer...
Def‼️💯💯
@@godsownlunatics9650 oh no, I'm doing right no more toxic people in my life, I now live on 25 acres and pay only $200 in rent, own my business outright and have zero bills... Lol
you all prolly dont care but does someone know of a way to log back into an Instagram account?
I was stupid lost the account password. I would love any help you can give me!
I've reached a point where I'm not thinking about karma or revenge, none of it even matters. My body, mind, spirit and soul are the most important to me. Even though it's still tough dealing with the aftermath of the abuse, I'm grateful for the lessons.
Beautifully said. My feelings exactly.
Lovewarrior, you are beautiful🤗
Lovewarrior, I know exactly what you mean. it took me 13 years (6 years of total no contact) to overcome the Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome I came away from a 25 yr relationship with a narcissist. I'm happy, content with myself. I don't think about him at all. I no longer worry about him, don't want him to suffer- he already is miserable. I don't wish him ill, but I would no longer trade myself for him. I finally realized that I was trying to recreate the relationship I had with a narcissistic parent. I finally let God heal that wound & though it took a long time, totally worth it! Nothing could ever entice me into a relationship with a narc again. In fact, as an empath, I attract narcs like bees to a honeycomb. Have a narc caregiver right now who's been trying to play me; I just caught her in her own trap. She's about to bolt, & not soon enough to suit me...I learned a lot from that long time of denying my own needs to feed someone else. Never again!
Lovewarrior. Hi, sweetly said
Thank you God Bless You 💜
Lovewarrior
Make sure that the *3 driving-POWERS* that are fueling the _HEALING_ of your:
mind(soul) & body from *_receiving a rebirthed-spirit_** are what ***_Christ Jesus_* brought to us in revealed fullness:
*1.) FAITH*
*2.) LOVE*
*3.) GRATITUDE*
Got divorced today and got complete legal and physical custody. Got my car and a decent settlement. Thanks for this, it really helped my perspective.
Aww you are so welcome Elizabeth and congratulations!! keep thriving Sweetheart xoxox
Happy for you🌹
Elizabeth Wilkens-Plumley Congrats! Bless you. 😊
dude you are so lucky you got a clean(ish) break! hallelujah!
MY IS OPOSITE . hE TOOK EVERYTHING .
They suffer in silence every day of their lives. Can you imagine not being able to express your own true emotions? They have to pretend every second of every day.
That is exhausting. They have no peace.
@youmeanthemost tome I have no emphaty for any narc, only humans.
good
So true. But they deserve it.Because they are pure evil. They choose deliberately to hurt and destroy people.
@@andreakohlhaussen7556 so true
They are cursed children of Satan!
I wake up every single day knowing that I am a genuine, kind, loving person. I am a good human with a good heart. As long as I can look in the mirror and love who I am each and every day, then I feel that that's the greatest feeling and gift in this life. Sadly, the narcissist will never have that.
A human's capacity to love is equal to their level of consciousness.
Is this coming from Eckhart Tolle?
@@lindavanloon4786 I'm not sure because I've heard/seen this a lot.
That is true👍🙏
I accepted that I'm a narcissist too late. I'm 59 years old, retired, financially stable disabled veteran. I'm 100% alone 24/7. I've driven all loved ones away. My son hasn't spoken to me in over a year. I'm glad he found the strength to disconnect. I hope he's well. Look inside yourself. If you're a narcissist. See things from others' perspective of you. I look back at my previous self and I want to kick his ass. Merry Christmas to all.
How did you come to the realization that you're a narcissist?
Ask Jesus Christ into your life. Submit to deliverance of demons. This stuff is real. Look up frank hammond.
Not many and very rarely will one accept his a narcissist
If anyone thinks a narc, especially older, isn't paid back by karma, walk into a room unexpectedly where he or she is. The most vacant, miserable, ALONE looking person...they do pay for what they are. If you see a narc asleep, the same is true- a look of total misery
Kathryn Nicholas I have encountered the sleeping misery thing. This is accurate. The environment is dark, and aura dark and cold. Nothing there.
Great point. I've seen this too. Catch them off guard and you see the real misery.
Their posed pics look perfect. But look at the candid pics other ppl took of the narc....not so cheery.
both my exes are like this how i eneded up with the second well she jumped into the void the first had left and played the role and did the mirroring both are now very very old looking completely worn out exhausted tired ugly and very ill...i would secretly watch the one i just last year fled from homeless on my 45th birthday stuck on a island in the sea with no were to go so got the ferry home and drove all night to escape she would be pulling the most strange faces ans weird behaviour and look of death in her eyes asleep she looked like a witch in slumber in a horrror movie after my escape i get the shivvers and get moments of horror and realise just how lucky i am to escape
vic twenty
Wow, that's deep!!!!!!!!
I think there’s an actual phrase for this, something like “the failed narcissistic” or something along those lines. Basically they’ve gotten older, used up all their narc supplies and are stuck in their own shadow of emptiness. You initially in this process think they deserve this but really it’s actually very sad. Edit: the term is actually a collapsed narcissist-check it out it’s actually very telling about the behavior of some older folks out there my father being the poster child of this disorder.
At some point they will realize they are no longer handsome, wealthy or accomplished as they once thought themselves to be.
Yes, mine realized it & committed suicide at 63.
Lmao
You are right that every second these people are getting karma. Yes, their constant unhappiness and lack of empathy is it. Also, many end up very lonely when they are older.
Tanya Colligan maybe that means that they are learning
If they have noticed a patern on themselves
Maybe they decide to pray and be good citizents naigbours individuals ?
Tanya Colligan hey! Who knew?!
Yes karma is something else!!!!!
I work in a nursing home for 14 years now not all of the residents there are Narcs but the few of them there now still up to there tricks it's really sad! God has me on his mission to see how some of these people are 💜
To all stay safe and stay blessed 💗
Antonija Juric Nope. They don’t. All they learn is to better hone their skills. Don’t be fooled.
So very true.
Narcs are truly pathetic. I’m so happy to be narcissistic free for 11 years.
Amen!!!
Jon Bank help a brother out
Jon Bank
11 years wow I wish! barely 2 weeks out and I haven't exhaled yet...I'm gonna fall apart if I do.
ONE LOVE exactly I complately agree
Make sure that the *3 driving-POWERS* that are fueling the _HEALING_ of your:
mind(soul) & body from *_receiving a rebirthed-spirit_** are what ***_Christ Jesus_* brought to us in revealed fullness:
*1.) FAITH*
*2.) LOVE*
*3.) GRATITUDE*
Yes they are, but as I've always thought- It's not the narcissist that is the problem, but their supply. It's REALLY easy to deal with a narcissist on your own as they are truly weak and pathetic, but often their supply will come to defend them or support them in some way and THOSE are the difficult ones to deal with because you know what's really going on and those folks are lapping up the narc's bs. When they come to defend the Narc, it's almost like you can literally SEE the narc suddenly grow twice the size! And then that's when things get tough. If you try to save these people from the Narc you will go down with the ship with them so you just have to let them go and realize you can't save them.
I cried a lot towards the end because that is what truly bothers me that I feel so sad for them that they are unable to connect to themselves... because with all the narcissists in my life I had at least one moment where I truly felt their inner child in all its innocence and my heart went out to it. That’s what makes it so hard to let go, that I know what they are inside, even if they haven’t got a clue.
Sarah Fara
Are you crying for them?
Or for yourself....always hoping and believing they will change and be honourable, loving people?
I ask because I feel I had an addiction to always hoping for the best in people.
While I was doing this, I was disowning the very pain calling for healing and loving attention within me.
Thank you for hearing my response. I am not wanting to make you wrong. I just wish to invite you to consider that the pain
and sadness may be true grief for ourselves and the loss of life energy.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Sarah Fara that's where I'm at now...but, I'm dying here. I can't get him to leave...
I`ll be honest Sarah... You`re hoding on to an image of them that no longer exist (if it ever existed in the first place). Not all narcs come from a place of abuse and sadness; some are born that way. They`re not vulnerable inside; there`s no child screaming for help; they`re dead inside. There`s nothing in there for you to look for. Inside, there`s only darkness and a mirror, that they use to lure and manipulate people.
Probably, what you saw was your own image, someone desperate and in need of love (considering you have a lot of narcs in your life, that wouldn`t be a surprise).
Don`t be fooled.
Sarah Fara I can relate to this . I have been truly damaged by my narcissistic ex but I don’t like to hear some of the comments where narcissists are totally vilified . On the one hand we are saying ‘don’t worry they are really unhappy,miserable people inside’ and on the other we , as normal , kind human beings are expected not to care about that. It saddens me , not just because yes, of course I hoped he would change but because now I know he can’t change and will forever suffer because of the wounds from his own traumatic childhood. These were not his choice. It’s quite a issue to come to terms with and to get your head around and I will admit that I have not quite worked it all out yet. Where does personal responsibility start and end with the narcissist ?
They are capable of making choices. They can turn to God and Christ if they want to be redeemed and change. However, they choose evil and dysfunction rather than good and God. Life is always about choices.
I dated the narc for 5.5 months, then dumped him. In those 5.5 months, I have never seen a man getting hit by karma as many times as he did. Why? Because they take no accountability and don't think long-term, the past always catches up.
"They don't think long term" that really hit me. No wonder they have so many partners.
@Janai B. I agree with you on this big time. My ex women is a narc.
Sarah Z totally agree.
Sarah Z z
YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOU GOT RID OF THE NARC.
Nothing lasts forever. At old age the table turns and it's really sad to see the narc crumble. Terrible that you no longer feel for them. Equalizer...Nothin last forever.
A tragicomic and pathetic figure...
PLEASE SIGN AND SHARE PETITION TO CRIMINALIZE PARENTAL ALIENATION AND ALL FORMS OF EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE. NARCISSISTS NEED TO BE PUNISHED.
www.change.org/p/american-psychological-asso-and-congress-must-address-emotional-and-psychological-abuse-as-a-crime-europe-recognizes-emotional-and-psychological-abuse-as-a-crime-u-s-needs-to-stop-turning-a-blind-eye-to-this-type-of-terrorism
They get sick. In their heads they then are a source of attention to doctors and hospitals , they enjoy and slip happily into conditions that most would do anything to avoid as they've never practiced self care ..
True
Do some narcissists become this way, from opiate abuse ??
Yes, you're right. Until we figure out how to get peace and happiness from within and not from the outside, it will never come.
The only way to get peace happiness and security is from a relationship with Jesus. But you have to REALLY want it.
Narcs spend a great amount of energy on APPEARANCES. Looking as if they smart, beautiful, rich, powerful, etc Convincing people of this.
But they are empty shells, unhappy in their soul!
A narc killed my best friend in order to APPEAR they had a "perfect life" & were "soul mates" when he was leaving her.
Never underestimate how far a Narc will go to satisfy their main drive, regardless if it's appearances or whatever.
So
As older an narc be,they be more and MORE pathetic and tragicomic figure..Yes,they are dangerous and may kill for to get satisfied...
I didn't realize they went so far as to kill. I thought that was more psycopath territory. Yikes. Is that common?
December Leigh He's in jail right
Unfortunately, even when a narcissist is affected by their own bad karma, they tend to blame others. At least this was my experience. Im still recovering from my narcissistic ex who I was with for 12 months. We used to fight a lot and I realise now I was feeding him narcissistic supply of attention and drama. During that time, when we were arguing, he would not go to work due to the stress and fatigue our fights apparently caused him. Eventually he was demoted at his work and received a pay cut. I was blamed for this, for making him so stressed and in his eyes, being responsible for the "worst relationship of his life". Im still recovering from the guilt ive internalised regarding his career. We worked down the road from each other and he even cheated on me with someone in my office (which he blamed me for as one night after arguing in my apartment I made him sleep on the floor). I feel a narcissist will never see bad karma as a result of their own bad actions.
CC Hamming : I understand what you're saying. Mine said the same things. I had a 12 month relationship too, all the other targets walked away after 3 or 4 dates with him. TBH I probably was his worst relationship because I confronted him on every lie. He cheated so many times, and when I walked away he would pull me back in. I think his karma came through the fact that he can't now use all the spiel he was used to using to draw victims in. He has to think very carefully every time he opens his mouth wondering whether the new woman will be the type to confront him on his lies and make him feel inferior. Life's not so easy anymore for him, his delusional world has crumbled. I confronted him in public (this wasn't premeditated) and now he's had to lie more and more to re establish his ego and standing where other people are concerned. He used to love bomb women crazily on social media and now he leaves timid comments without all the hearts and kisses. He can't get the supply, the fuel or the attention he craves anymore. He's now targeting women from overseas. I just wouldn't let him walk all over me, but it was a good while before I realized I was being lied to and that has affected me so much that I still can't get over it. He's getting old and haggard. Whoever puts up with his personality are themselves disordered. Don't worry about what you think you did. They are adults and should look after themselves and stop blaming others. keep well :-)
Sea Fern isn’t it a bit nacistic of you to blame it on him? I get called a nacacist, didn’t even not what it meant. N I’m sure I’m not like any of these...
Thank you SeaFern. Yes that's good advice. Im working on getting over a lot of the guilt I've internalised and a lot of the blame he tried to put on me. I was even sexually assaulted by his ex, which he ended up blaming me for. Being an empath, I'm working on getting out of the denial of it all and realise that my ex never loved me and everything was lies and a charade. Your support and these videos help a lot. Many thanks!
He allready knew he was bad at his job and eventualy getting demoted. He started this fights with you to have an excuse not to go to work and face his incompetence.
Taja Krizman this may sound stupid but I never even considered that. It sounds so likely though. He had told me that he was really good at his job and ambitious but was bored of the role. I think he felt that he wasnt getting anywhere at work. I just internalised to much guilt and responsibility - even if he was late to work, it was my fault for not waking him up. And when I tried to wake him up, it was never the right way. Im so grateful for this community - my eyes are slowly starting to open. Thank you!
I think that a felony, jail time and loss of a 30 year career for a 56 year old narcissist is a good example of the "Karma bus". I put up with it for 2 years and after having a loaded gun to my head, I had him arrested. Now, I am in recovery, but with the weekly help from therapists and videos such as this, I KNOW I will reclaim myself.
Esther Hardman
Lol I know your story is sad but this shit sounds funny🤣🤣🤣
My dad is a narcissist and loved pulling guns on me, my mom, my sister(she was 3 years old the first time) I was 15 the first time. He is now alone, my mom AKA his slave, has been dead 3 years now and my sister hates him and is no contact just as I am no contact with him. He reccently found out he has Leukemia. He will endure this with a little help from my son who lives 70 miles away and works 16 hour days. That "help" will be very little and far between, nothing like the ass kissing, babying bullshit my mom gave him for years. My son will probably help pick out a nursing home and take care of his dog. That will be about the extent.
Good on you . You're a beautiful person and deserve the best.
Thank you Jesus, for protecting me from the narcissist, but mostly, for your sacrifice on the Cross..
Amen and Amen
Teresa Bakke 🎯🎯✝️
Lucifer was the first narcissist and even God could not help him. God no contacted the beast to Hell.
My narcissistic manager fired me simply because I stopped paying attention to her when I realized she was a narcissist. I wrote a letter to the headquarters of the company exposing all the unethical and illegal things she was doing and she was fired. I lost a $40K/year job but she lost a $80k/year job (twice as much) and also her little side kick got fired for part taking in the illegal activities. I seriously doubt she will ever have a job like that again but I should have no trouble starting from the bottom again because I'm humble. Prideful people don't handle trials and tribulations very well. She did it to herself so I'd like to think it was karma.
El Californio congratulations. it takes a lot of strength to do that
why did you not take the company to an emplyment tribunal? You seem to have a good case.
@El Californio Good for you! Working for a narcissist is immensely difficult and I feel at times under-discussed. My former manager was a severely narcissistic person. He ultimately attacked and assaulted me on the job. I am now dealing with taking the company I used to work for to legal account. We spend more time at work than with our loved ones, sadly. I believe the workplace can be an even tougher place to endure narcissistic abuse and rage.
I also had a narcissistic woman in charge of 7 people as a lead at a hospital. she'd be attacking verbally one second then totally nice ten minutes later. she had me fired..and five to ten people over the years..I guess someone figured her out and realized she's causing damage and finally fired her
It’s better than Karma - it’s accountability brought on by her actions! Good for you standing up and taking action. Your life is better without a narc boss
I feel sorry for the narcissist. I want them to get better. I want no part of that journey, but i do still want that for them.
Hi noybw333 that is so admirable Hun and that compassion for a narcissist comes when we heal our own wounds and completely understand what it is all about. Kudos to you!! xoxox
That's exactly how I feel. I do wish them all the best, really far away from me though.
@@lightinthedusk Yes, it's known as a dichotomy, you/ I feel two opposite feelings at the same time. Don't know how one comes to terms with that. The good in you wants them to be healed and the hurt in you can't understand their actions, because you know you didn't deserve the treatment you got.
They need to ask the Lord to deliver than from that spirit. Until they do that they will never even get help from a councellor you cannot councell a demon you has to cast them out.
I know it is demonic cause I see in his eyes and I oftentimes see him and hear him fighting and cussing indesent language in his sleep. Also making like a roaring sound like he saying raaaaaaaaàaah and say something was fighting him he would say.
Thank you, Melanie, you speak the truth. I have learned to turn it over to God. He says, "Vengeance is mine". And in time I have learned to pray for their salvation. Because they are truly lost and don't even know it. In the meantime, I focus on self-love, self-care. And achieving my own personal hopes, goals, and dreams.
That they only prayer you can pray for their salvation. There are some people you cannot pray for you have to give them over to God those are some of the persons
This was amazing.My ex husband was a narc.He divorced me and suddenly died 2 days after our financial settlement hearing (needless to say uncompleted).His death was out of the blue .He has left behind a lot of malicious family on his side who all were used as his flying monkeys.I have no contact with them .Could you do a blog on narcs dying and the stuff they leave behind them ? (damaged relationships ,financial problems etc.) Also ,one tip I have to offer is ,if you have a narc. in your life ,get a small dictaphone and record them being abusive to you .I always used to hide mine in my bra.It saved my sanity to play it back to myself and remind myself who did what when he blamed me for everything or denied what he'd said .You are doing a fantastic job Mel.You have helped me immeasurably.Thank you .You get better every blog.xx
Thank you Michelle and my condolences to you Dear Lady and all you have been left with. I have made a note of your suggestion sweetheart. A that is a great practical tip for anyone going through this until they can get to heal the inner wounds and the narcissists becomes 'Not My Reality'. Love and blessings to you xoxox
I wish I could have recorded my narc, but he would have found it and gone on one of his insane rants. My sister did see him one time up in my face yelling and pointing at me like he used to do all the time and put a stop to it. She told him that he was being very intimidating and was scaring me, which he was. I guess because I was abused as a kid, I would just cave and did whatever he wanted due to fear when he did that.
@ Michelle Danny, you are telling my story, exception of ex husband is still very alive, 3 minutes from me. However everything else is to a T.
The fact that they "prance off and it is like you never existed" is so frustrating and painful, it still makes me go mad every hour of the day. He looked at me, no sympathy in his eyes, and said stubbornly and coldly: "I have done nothing wrong. I have always treated you very nicely". I thought I'd scream. After all the abuse, making me break down so many times, having made me done things I didn't want and was traumatised from, while he never did anything for me except shifting from being nice to turning into a complete monster - accusing me of the wildest things, outright bullying me, and never ever caring about my feelings.
And then they just drop you on the floor like a piece of garbage, and walk away. While you are left traumatised and broken for months and years, they are probably in someone else's (poor) arms the day after, not giving a shit about how you are. And I know that if he knew how I was doing, he would never acknowledge that he could have anything to do with it. This thought is so disturbing to me; this lack of guilt and responsability. I don't know if I want to live in a world with people who have such little compassion and introspection.
Sounds like you have been through so much x please don't let these people put you off living never let him.take ypir light and soul way the wolorld is full of nice people to please keep positive and strong sad to read your last line keep.living hun....
Thank you. It is true that there are many nice people. It is just so hard to know you actually loved someone who was not. And you always hoped they would change; realise things, see that they were being unreasonable. But no.
EscargoTouChaud it is hard it's a journey in recovery so I do understand x you will be confused and hurt but you have to except it happened first what you have been through... then your true recovery begins learn to love yourself again your well being is a priority now... in time you will heal and see things objectively good luck on your journey be strong don't look back or live in hope of change. Change you care for you...
I hear you. I’ve had similar thoughts. Not everyone is a nice person, or healthy. I just want to use this experience to practice more compassion for self and others that have gone through abuse. Use the experience to love yourself more and recognize red flags more readily in the future.
I'm a gemini I can deal with this sort of behavior than most!! I jus figure peoples puzzle and intentions out very quick and make accurate decisions on a persons heart not what they telling me and all that other bullshit. With me being a gem with this high sex drive I have ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'ma narc worst nightmare bc I'm only attracted to the shitty sexual narcs bc they are easy and besides why fuk over a good woman when these creatures are on the menu 😂😂🤣🤣. Simple and plain fuk over the fukers and excuse my language I jus keep it honest as u can c I don't have the brightest mins set but I do love me and I have compassion for decent human beings and I have a stiff **** for evil himan beings. I'm so extreme and disrespectful towards narcs that I literally flirt infont of their faces on purpose not to get a reaction but bc I really don't care about how they feel and they can beat up the lil feelings I got left it's cool. Feelings don't pay the bills or keep me grounded so they don't matter right now. Have fun and enjoy these people bc they are alot more fun that u thank u jus have to stay in control of u at all times and I mean at All times even while having sex 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 talking bout u love me and u wanna have my baby hell I bet u do I'm 31 with my own business. I know I'm a giving person and I know I can be too giving at times so I only keep real people around me anyway I don't let outsiders in to quick I been had the same friends for years I don't do new people bc of the narcs in my family I grew up watching this so it's easy to me.
The salvation is knowing , finding , loving , in becoming your true self . They force you to do what they are unable to , be your self .
I've dated a narc for 4,5 years. Thankfully, one day something burst inside of me and I had a sudden awakening of self love and utter disgust for him and everything he was putting me through. The day I left him, I have never looked back. He tried to hoover me, with no success, and thankfully a month after I broke up an angel of a man literally found me and decided to be protect and shelter me. We've been together for over a year and I'm finally learning what is true love and what a healthy relationship is (the narc was my first boyfriend).
But I've learned so much about narcissism. When I was in the relationship, I couldn't understand what was going on; I thought I was going crazy, with all the gaslighting and manipulation. I am a very, very strong person and I believe that`s the reason he couldn`t let go or ghost me. He was so scared of losing his source. But it got to a point where I was getting anxiety and falling into depression; I couldn`t sleep, I couldn`t keep my weight to the point of getting skeletal.
They`re shadows. Nothing is real: no love, no happiness, no enjoyment, no gratitude. They just exist, involved in a curtain of shadow, full of anger, despair and self hatred. Now when I remember, his stare is something of a nightmare, like staring into hell. Empty. Dark. His smile was calculated, much more like a grin.
For anyone out there living with one: run and don`t look back. They`re devils. There`s no salvation for them, as they already live in a burning hell.
As the saying goes: better to be alone than in bad company.
Great video.
My ex-covert narc worked so hard maintaining her facade. She was exhausted and stressed all of the time. I was the one who provided the feel good and relaxation supply. I worked overtime to plan her happiness. Not only was it increasingly more futile because of her jealously that I had abundant joy, creativity and love to give not just to her but to others, but it became toxic and exhausting for me. She only worked to find fault with my giving, she also became more demeaning and devaluing in many ways. She craved negative reaction from me more than positive love because pain is her default. She once said early on during the lovebombing phase of our relationship, "if you ever leave me, I'll go crazy." She also said, "you love me because you like crazy women." And, "please don't ever leave me." Her core values are self loathing, embarrassment, shame, anger and other emotions that become negative when so out of balance for too long. She is empty and I have a great deal of empathy for her despite her constant attempts to use her fear and pain to find mine. The difference is as a healthy person, I want to face my fears and heal my pain whereas she only dodges and hides from hers. She is now 50 years old literally today and she is breaking down. She wanted me in her life and wanted marriage. This from a woman who bragged about never needing a man and flaunting having never been married before. She proposed and told everyone about me. She constantly tested me to see how much abuse I'd take and also take responsibility for. The moment I first challenged her on her behavior, she went into the classic narc injury rage and became violent. That was the end for me. I walked out of self respect but I feel so badly for her. I offered her friendship and offered to discuss our mutual life issues in order to explore why we don't last as a couple (this being our second try in 20+ years), but also to ensure that she and I would support each other in having healthier relationships in the future with others. She scoffed at and rejected this offer because she is more comfortable with how she is and her controlling negative relationship patterns with unaware victims. As soon as I shower awareness and exposed her even privately, she had no more use for me. 2 weeks after our break up her niece and her previous ex and father of her child came to me to see what happened. They wanted validation. I was honest and only told truths. She discovered this and stopped her hoovering tactics because I had proven that I could expose her publicly. I had gotten the better of her, and many people who knew about narc-empath/co-dependent relationships had said that "I had won" ... But I didn't feel that way. I felt like she'd never have a real life - only a series of false lives. And as an aging female narc, she was approaching menopause and her cigarette and pot smoking were taking her toll. Her body was producing gall stones and she could not maintain her facades for very long. Stress is taking its toll on her. I think she was looking for the man to take care of her in her latter years. I think in her mind I was perfect. The weirdest thing was that she enjoyed villainy and the villains in movies more than anything else in the film. She tried hard to appreciate empathy and love or romance as concepts. But she could not authentically feel or be those things. I feel bad for her and I will continue to feel worse as she ages. I am healed and onto a great part of my life in my 50's, no longer attracted to narcs or borderlines of any kind because I woke up and worked to understand and heal my childhood C-PTSD. I was raised by a borderline narc alcoholic mothet and an enabling co-deoendent father. Both had heavy narc traits and I became conditioned early on to ignore my own sovereign emotions and feelings and cater to those of others. I managed to shift that 180 degrees and life is sweeter than ever. It's like I have taken ownership and am now defining my own joyful life. But I really feel for narcs who will never find this joyful and healthy center of the universe in their own lives. I know, however they will return to love, as you say. That basic truth helps a lot. They will get there in this lifetime or the next.
Peter Burns t
Peter Burns. Pardon, but could you please repeat that.
Chris Cooper My name is Pete, not Replete! 😎
Elizabeth Smart , it's a hero's/heroine's journey thru a very personal Hell. And I know that statement seems dramatic unless you've been through it. The fog lifts slowly. There are hard days. It took the council of a really good and savvy person to realize I was suffering C-PTSD from childhood conditioning and had to do a couple of things to manage myself out of that in order to more fully manage myself out of the affects of my ex covert narc. As empathetic out of balance into codependency, have all been conditioned for narc abuse. I am so very happy to hear that you belong to no one but your soveriegn self now! ☺ I wrote a lot because it was and still is personal stories beyond the theory be it clinical psychology or spiritual that helped me the most. Male victims of narc abuse are not always so forthright cuz we are also trained to be tough. It's the empath that suffers thru this feeling our emotional pain but also that of our abuser (s). We agreed to take on their illusion and sacrificed our own reality for it. They take over our mind, emotions, and body. They hijack us in a way. They want what we have and also hate us for what we have cuz they don't have it. It's nuts! We have to own all of our healing. Again, it's a slow process but also a wonderful opportinity to grow completely into ourselves if we get conscious. You sound strong and healthy. If you need anyone to express too, I will listen. I'm happy for you. Really happy. You go, girl!!! ☺☺☺
Elizabeth Smart , I also want to add that your heart is broken in order to give you the pain to wake up. My heart still aches some days. I still uncover lies, manipulations and insideous attempts gaslightong. The illusion lifts in pieces. It's so bizarre. They are alien to our type. They seem like aliens, inhuman monsters or demons but they are broken humans. No empathy is the very meaning of inhuman. Stay strong. Do not break "no contact." I was in a relationship with my ex covert narc 2x, I was married to a quiet borderline for 20 years and I dated another covert narc and an overt borderline to boot. It took my ex covert narc to wake me from that pattern. As woken empaths, we become passionate about the phenomenon we are going thru, our healing and spreading awareness. We become more powerful than even the most high functioning narcopath. And you, my darling, are on your way now too! 😉 I appreciate you. Again, if you need to express or exchange stories, email me: peterburnsfilms@gmail.com 💪 stay strong. We need support to get thru it.
I hope my narc experiences everything he put me and my daughter through in his next life. Last I heard though, he was still out of work and living with his mom. He's in his 50s now with no retirement saved up. He has the mentality of a child with the notion that he will be healthy enough to be able to work until he dies. I'm sure he's desperately looking for another victim to take advantage of like he did with me. He just used me for a place to stay while being abusive to me and my daughter, and then pretending as if he loved me. I've come to see them as parasitic tube worms, feeding on their host until the host dies or gets rid if them, and then desperately look for another host. What a shitty and stupid way to live.
If you don't take revenge on your narc, nobody else will.
Zone 9 you know my baby daddy???
Thank you Melanie ❤️ I also believe that we should concentrate more on own healing rather than thinking what our ex is through. This is a very difficult process. However when we concentrate and learn to heal we win. I am going through this healing now and know it is an extreme situation. Having people like you helps to keep the Spirit high because in the course of this healing process due to complexity it is difficult to predict what’s next. Blessings !
You are so welcome Maya love and blessings to you xoxox
Barbara Brinkmeyer
and what is *"LIFE"* ?
It's the *Spirit-of-Christ Jesus*
Your *spirit* needs *TO BE REBIRTHED*.... **_BORN AGAIN of the 'Spirit-of-God' by_** *GRACE thru FAITH* in the FINISHED work of Christ Jesus.
Melanie would call *"Spirit-of-God"* a _FREQUENCY_
better if she called it the *ONLY ALPHA-OMEGA-FREQUENCY-POWER* (but she'll receive that wisdom eventually)
And *ANYBODY* can _RECEIVE IT FREELY_ , by *BELIEVING IN JESUS*
Once that happens, then *TRUE HEALING CAN BEGIN* by a _POWER_ that Melanie describes as *ONENESS* but she doesn't realize that *ONENESS is the new Spirit of LIFE in CHRIST JESUS.*
It doesn't exist *seperate of the 'Spirit-of-Christ'* , who is the *'Son-of-God' w/Power*
Strangely, tonight I don’t seem to care about karma for my narcs, which is the polar opposite or how I normally feel. I may feel differently tomorrow (go back to wishing various karmic attrocities on them like I have for years now), but tonight I’m just more concerned about my wellbeing and feel like I have to get better because the aftermath of abuse has just been sucking the life out of me. Being angry, scared, sad and obsessed with them rather than enjoying my life for this long feels like it is killing me. Gotta turn my focus back to me.
Paula Sutton I totally relate to you Paula, I don’t care about Karma. I just want it all out of my head. The whole experience is crippling me in every way. No matter how strong I think I am, it weakens me. I just can’t see the end of it, feeling totally destroyed and worthless.
Sylvia I decided last night that I’m going to try NARP. I’ve been in counseling for three years over this last narc/sociopath and feel like I need to try a new way. My counselor has helped me a lot, so very much, but I need my own homework so to speak for in between sessions and to kick my obsessions which keeps me hurting. I want to talk more with my counselor about self discovery, boundaries and figuring out really who I am instead of going over the same stuff about my narc father and the narcs after him. She agrees that I know more about narcs now than her and need to quit learning about narcissism and sociopathy bc it just keeps me in the pain loop. I think I do it bc I think my knowledge will protect me and if I allow myself to forget things I will end up being taken by a narc or socio again. But really I think we move toward what we fear the most, so I need to assure myself that I do in fact know enough and have the knowledge to spot one and test one before getting involved. I’ve been way too other focused for five decades and feel like the clock is rather ticking for me to heal and try to find enjoyment in the years I have left. I’m sorry you are so hurt and I hope you will find your way to becoming healthy and whole and hopefully even happy (I know, hard to imagine at times, right?). I’d be fine with just being relatively at peace at this point.
Paula Sutton
Hi, It takes time just like if you had a scar on your arm it will heal God Bless You!!!!!!💜
EE Edwards thank you for your kindness and knowledge. Love and caring is so healing to a person’s spirit, isn’t it? It feels good to hang around and hear from kindhearted people, it works wonders 💜, which is why I love Melanie’s channel. There are so many good souls that gather here. I wish you, and everyone here all the best in your healing journeys.
Paula Sutton
Thank you God Bless You Stay strong be safe 💜
I was already largely healed from 20 years married to a "super" Narc. But then, I discovered all these videos on narcissism. I was shocked at how textbook he was. He particularly likes gaslighting. Anyway, TOTAL healing came when I saw him for the Narc he is. It took the blame off me. It was wonderful! Now, I'm writing a book about it. I often say that "being" is far more important than "doing."
I am totally convinced they don’t have a life force of their own. That’s why they attach to you like a tick.
Currently healing from Narcissistic abuse, never have I worked so hard on myself. I am very much in a place of observation rather than reaction, a place I thought Id never reach. Self Love is growing by the day. When you educate yourself on this soul sickness you understand why it all had to happen. I have learned not just about Narcissism but so much about myself, my weaknesses, my past, my conditioning and why I attracted this kind of human and how to make sure I never will again. The most devastating yet rewarding experience I have lived and that's hard to believe given what I have experienced through my life. Please do the work on yourself, be honest with yourself and be gentle with yourself. Great video Melanie, your videos have all helped me so much... Blessings
I cannot hate the narcissist. It’s a sad, tragic existence for them. Heartbreaking.
very........
Feelings only a true empath could carry.
I wish sometimes that I didn't but mostly I do, and I know deep down that somehow I'm being weak but there it is, I was so angry the other night I woke up and shadow boxed in the dark before I could go back to sleep, and I felt physically better but not at losing sleep so damn them. (sorry) Joan Curry.
Joan Curry its more about protecting ourselves than hating
It's easy to hate a narc
love this. i can tell everyone from my experience, i have seen the narc when he was alone, not around people and parties and not being his false self. i have seen him when he was alone at home, and it was hell behind closed doors, it was like a depression. it was the scariest, saddest thing. they cannot stand to be alone, they need to constantly be out and living their false self/ this made up life, because their reality is the total opposite. when he was alone, he was like a zombie, dead in the eyes, zoning out watching tv til 4am i mean like 9 hours straight, playing video games on his phone. planning the next event, the next trip, the next party. looking up arts and music, theatre things and rehearsing his conversations, reading the economist and harvard business review and memorizing things to impress people. his actual reality was hell, in so much debt, childhood traumas, broken broke broken family on the sickest level. i felt so sorry. but in public, tells stories of the perfect life, family life, childhood memories, travels and all these fancy things. but i could recognize mental and emotional abuse and left i couldn't help it wwas only hurting me.
yea, my mom is one and i hate looking into her eyes. they're dead eyes. reminids me of a dead fish
I’m a retired OBGYN. This is the only up to date video revealing the fact that its not just the leave vs lose option for the spouse of a narcissist.
Your video no doubt comes from current, experience-based evidence rather regurgitation of old concepts. Thank you. Great job!
Thank you R. Chris Kuhne,
I'm so pleased that you liked this. It is very current and I'm always researching so that I can serve the recovery community with effective resources. Love and blessings xoxox
I was married to a narcissist. His mother told me he felt sorry for me is why he married me. He told me he was my king for 25 years. Haha. Looking back at one time I loved him. Now I'm happily remarried. Glad to be away from his circle of lies and manipulation.
Mine just got sentenced to 4 years in prison and when he gets out he's got about five more felonies in another state to face. He could be in prison for many many years. Maybe even the rest of his life. Karma does come.
Karma does not just "come", crime reports, police, lawyers, courts, prisons, make it come.
Surly their sins will find them out.
Dear Melanie, Im so glad to hear this talk. Ive read so much negativity towards narcs but outside of my own inner fractures which allowed me to dance with the narc, I did fall truly, deeply in love and I've been tortured thinking she wud be hurt any more. She reported she was ritualistically sexually abused and terrified so I feel very sad that she's in such turmoil. The part of me who is deeply compassionate doesn't want anyone to suffer, ESPECIALLY someone who was so traumatized as a child. This is something that really got to me as a teen Counselor. Those kids weren't bad kids, they had just suffered very bad things at a young age. God bless you, Kathryn (Cloud Woman)
Melanie,
I appreciate what you had to say about looking beyond the scope of material objects and possessions in order to frame our reality. As a society we often forget these crucial details. The thing with my experience is that I stopped to care about what the narcissist had or did not have after I healed my major wounds, which I had to do by putting the attention on myself and not him. I am finally free. I am able to make my own choices and not feel guilty or scared of being harassed or accused of cheating. I am so thankful for my freedom, and I can finally say that I love myself for who I am. I am so ecstatic to celebrate my happiness and freedom that I was once unable to appreciate. There is no better feeling in the world. I would choose it over any amount of money, any size house, or any brand new car.
On a side note: I would love for you and any other members of the community to listen to the song "Praying" by Keesha if you have not already heard it. It is such a beautiful song, and relates to what I just said in my comment above.
You can't go through life focusing your energy on negative things happening to others. It only hurts YOU. The only thing you can do is live your life to the utmost degree of happiness while letting go of and forgiving yourself and your narcissist for what they have done. I personally see it as a good thing that happened to me nowadays, and for those of you not there yet, I know that you will one day see it. I am so strong and thankful. Much love to the community and you too, Melanie.
Thank you for all that you have done, continue to do, and will do.
:)
Thank you Danielle and it is my absolute pleasure xoxox
Danielle Cozzola h
Danielle Cozzola thankyou for sharing, can i ask what healing modalities worked for you?
Bally Kaur
Honestly, above everything else, time. I took the time to rediscover myself and do the things that I enjoy and love. I lost sight of them during my experience with emotional abuse. The transition was tough, but the feeling of freedom eventually overcomes the guilt that we face from not doing as our abuser would wish. Spend time on yourself. You're all you've got, and you're all that matters. :)
I’m almost 100% sure my last relationship was with a narc ... I was soooo confused but have a good sense of self and immediately knew something was wrong. He started verbal abuse about 8 weeks in his family aided him. After I cut off contact 11 months in (mind you after he kept threatening to leave me for absolutely no reason) he threatened to ruin my life and proceeded to send horrible messages to my job and colleagues about me, contacted my family and told horrible lies, and created multiple fake social media profiles (even in my name) and contact people I know. God only know what stuff he did I didn’t find out about ... I remained calm the entire time, and manage to cut him off 100% but soon after I started having very bad panic attacks for the first time in my life. Needless to say, I’m in recovery and consider myself lucky I was pretty smart about this relationship in spotting this toxic behavior. I pray if this ever happens again, I leave as soon as I see the signs.
I still feel a little angry, but for the most part I realize this has nothing to do with me other than I could see how I need to love myself and heal issues that allowed a narc into my life ❤️ love and peace everyone!
KhaBose yes mine started with verbal abuse
KhaBose the exact same thing happened to me after I flitted from a narc/sociopath I lived with for five years, he did ALL those things 20 years ago now before I knew what narcissism was... contacted him only ONCE to warn him from sending his flying monkey rent boys to follow me everywhere! I told him I'd smash into their cars & call the police on him. He pretended he didn't know what I was talking about in that butter wouldn't melt kinda way! I raised my voice a bit and said " I KNOW it's YOU!" And since then I haven't been followed. I'm still alert for being followed though, even after 20 years, coz I KNOW he will still be watching me on the internet. I use aliases anyway and I'm not a social butterfly so there isn't much he hasn't already seen. He's a covert one, and has had NO OTHER partners to abuse. I know he tries to get supply from dating sites, but he's gay and hides that fact from his family so he pretends to like girls to make him look 'normal.' He only has his family for supply now, and whereas he was bragging in that 'I'm not really bragging' kind of a way all over the internet 20 years ago, all those pages have now come down and there's no mention of his name, anywhere! He was [his name] rescue pages, his name on photos everywhere bragging. He PRETENDED to like animals and rescuing them. However, I would do the rescues HE would take the credit for it; on the website, newsletter and local newspaper. He would stay in bed while I did it all, now, according to another group he is not contactable, even by phone! He's either gotten into big time troubles, or been found out for who he TRULY is - or both I suspect! BEWARE the COVERT, they are scheming, calculating and are brilliant at gas lighting! They put on the feel sorry for me act really well! I hope you get over your experience as well as I have. ❤️
Thank you for you wise and thoughtful words. I am recovering from a narcissistic and alcohol dependant husband - I left last year after 26 years. He has the car, the family business, the money etc etc etc and by the way - our 4 kids too. So although this is a lonely place and I am financially insecure , I am healing and getting stronger, more resourceful and mor confident every day - learning to love myself, speak up for what I want and believe and also say NO. I agree with what you say about the narcissist using your energy to fuel their behaviour. So important to keep right away from them, have nothing to do with them at all and use all your wonderful life affirming energy to build back a wholly positive and loving sense of being. We are all one in love and life.
Hi Georgina, you can rebuild your life and heal the wounds sweetheart then you will be stronger than ever before. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-rebuild-the-dream-the-narcissist-tore-down/ If you'd like me to show you how please check out my inner transformational resources www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse
Love and blessings to you xoxox
I needed to hear that as the ex narc lives extravagantly and lives better than myself and our kids while giving next to nothing to help. I am happy without him. I have the kids, the pets, our modest but loving home...my sanity!! I shouldn’t feel bitter that he is better off financially and it has been destroying my peace for some time. Thank you for this Melanie, you opened my eyes.
You are so welcome MamaTo2 keep thriving Hun xoxox
Wow, my story is very much like yours. My kids are grown, but are still close to me (not him) and I am so much happier with less than he will ever be with all the stuff he kept. Even as he surrounds himself with people all the time, I have never met a loneliest and most miserable person than him. Thanks to me walking out on (him) after 27 years, I was able to get close to God and find such freedom and happiness.
You r so right in what u said!! My narcs live a miserable life while I’m developing my life! My narcs had mental disorders and now their lives are falling apart. I’m doing things I never thought I could do (and things my narcs said I couldn’t do) and I’m becoming the person I always wanted to be while my narcs sit and watch tv all day. The narc never has a happy ending!
My father destroyed himself and his family and his family legacy. His children whom he triangulated are not close. Therefore, his grandchildren have no relationship with their cousins. It effected everyone. The last conversation I had with him the day before he died, he was hateful and venomous, bringing up things that happened years ago that didn't mean anything. He just hated me. He visited me in a dream a few years ago. It seemed so real. He looked so much younger than I remember him. Thirty years younger. He seemed apologetic and he was trying to tell me something, but it was like he was talking through water and I could hear him laugh, but I couldn't make out the words. I know that he isn't at peace and he would have to pay for what he did if there is any justice in the Universe. I hope to never see him again.
Amazing presnetation. Thank you so much Melanie for the good work. I just came out of an 11 years relationship with a Narc and starting to realize what has happened to me. It is like I have been abuses in my childhood and as grown up person you understand what has happened to you. You are such a wonderful person, full of kindness and compassion. Thank you again.
Thank you Giovanni. I'm so glad this helps. Love and blessings xoxox
I'm so happy and free after I kicked him out. I can breathe again!
My ex husband is now going thru this. He was an International Male Model in the 80's. He based his entire life on looks and recognition. Thought he was every womans dream. Now, he's 67, bald, toothless and looks 90 from all those 'party boy look at me' days. He lives with he 91yr. old mother now. Isn't bringing in the big bucks and living on SS. Plus, he can't attract the 'young pieces of ass' he so craves. His karma came back HARD. He looks like the crypt keeper and stuck with his 91yr. old complaing mother because he's got no one else and no one else wants him. I love karma!
Lol perfect..
Lenka Wilson yes good karma thanks
😏
...pieces of arse...😂
😂😂😂 wow
Thanks! Timely message for me as i have been separated for three months. They have all that I built including home, car and my only child of 2 1/2. I did my best to heal having left the country for two months only to come back and have her making things difficult by witholding access to my son and personal goods. I felt my mind slipping back into a traumatised state. I need to regain it. Thanks again your words are helpful and encouraging!
You are so welcome Kevin - have you considered connecting with my free resources to help you further?
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse I would love you to take up the invitation in there to join me in the free webinar so I take you through a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself - it will soothe the mind and bring you back to your body where the true healing can take place. Love and blessings to you xoxox
You guys who have been abused and tricked by a narc...hang in there. you at least have some peace and rest from their perpetual whining ..needy...entitlement..blaming you self.
oh my gosh...I am free of the lies and hateful remarks and wanting more money and withholding my grandchildren from. me if she didn't give her what she wanted. lazy..selfish ..and always complaining about something...My daughter was my narc. I had to break spiritual ties even.
I haven't seen my grandchildren in two yrs.
she blocked me and made them block me.
shetold my granddaughters father I was dead 9 yes ago and just found that out .
sick people will try to destroy you too.
be happy...God is in control..not them.
I pray and God has healed me of the destructive person I loved so much...my own daughter. someday...My grandchildren will find out the truth. God help them when they do. All narcs are
All narcs do not know God.
pray that God can someday reach them before it is too late. Be of good cheer...Break the soul ties with your narc and be grateful you are FREE. 😁.
LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU ALL. Be brave ...be Warriors of Good...hugs.
@@trishgreen3582 best brief comment str8 to reality. Really good point. Amen my God works out what the devil does to us as a benefit to those who love him, His ppl. God loves me to much to not have revealed it all to me and protect and heal me from it all and better me double and triple my blessing along the way. Trained my hands and tounge and spirit to fight His enemies and manifest to me my best appointed and anointed husband ever. PRAISE & WORSHIP NO MATTER WHAT
Just escaped a 3 year relationship with my ex girlfriend covert narcissist, she took me to the brink of sanity with emotional and mental manipulation, she literally made me sick. They are like black holes that suck your life force from you.
Beingness Yes!!!! I love having my peace back, love a walk, a hike, a quiet in my home, and having no anger around me, having God who allowed me to know I can live without being hated for someone else's self dissappointment.
Major girl. Wow. You're admirable, smart and strong. I admire those qualities in men and women. God Bless you and keep you safe.
Thank you so much dear sister. Your words are absolutely timely and freeing. Healing is freedom. I am so grateful xo
I was married to my Narcissist husband for 28 years. The first 24 years seemed healthy, though I know know that they weren’t. My, now ex, became a correctional officer and then began 4 years of narcissistic cruelty. In the end, I left in the middle of the night and fled 4000 miles away. I had finally become angry and it was a turning point for me. What you say is true, he tried to make everyone believe I was crazy and swore I would get nothing. First it was survival mode and now healing begins.
I really appreciate your insight
Maxine Wilson wow! That is powerful! Well done for escaping!
"I'm going to give you more of what you are being." That message is going on my refrigerator. This video, at the end, moved me to tears with its message of hope. Thanks.
Aww Kimberly I am so delighted this video gave you a message of Hope. There is hope sweetheart. I would love you to connect to my free resources, if you haven't already, to help you further in your recovery journey. You sound so ready to take that next step
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings to you xoxox
You right he is not happy because he wouldnt be obsessing of me and stalking me and slandering me with lies behind my back
Divine Goddess 47 ,I've been there they are disgusting creatures.The Little Sharmen on utube give her a listen she explains it simpley and powerfully what your up against.Tip do your best to not react in anyway to Narc ,stalking let police know of it.Turn off location on your phone.I wish you well.
C B - I agree with the Tip. I think that's a right move. Right thing to do. I hope all goes well. God bless and all the best.
Love Infinity THE ACCURACY🎯🏌🏾♀️🗑
Whoa! Incredible....
My x always complained about boredom. Always!! Me? Stressed! I was always stressed and burnt out and was desperate for peace and rest! *sigh* Thank you so much ♡
1.5 years ago i would have bursted into tears should have i listend to this
so if u are going through
i can tell u melanies technique was a treasure to me.
It opened the doors to even further good selfhelp people and spiritual teachers,today i am able to understand better.
I know it’s hard to hear the words abundace and happiness now.
But gurl if a cyincal male witch like i am can reach such a state. Why wouldt u?
Beautiful episode mel.
Thank you Hun xoxox
It is great watching you Melanie. You have a way of expressing things on a different level. "That the Narcissist needs your fear to hurt you" is so very true.
When I was still in the deep pain of abuse recovery about 15 months ago, your comments on "codependentcy" enlightened me to something I was (to that point) unaware of. Today I understand what it was in my upbringing that made me codependent. Thank you my friend.
Aww you are SO welcome Vampire Slayer xoxox
My dad was a narcissist. His own body killed him; an extreme autoimmune syndrome that normally attacks women. Putting on my C.G. Jung hat, it was clear it was his own anima that did him in.
William Krapek
what is *Anima* ?
My dad was one too. He passed away in 2015. I am trying to heal as well. It was a super confusing childhood, teens, and young adult years. He is gone, but the aftermath trauma remains , in what it did to me. I am a survivor.
Same with my narcissistic husband...died from an autoimmune disease. Wow!
Suddenly feel sorry for him. I decide to forgive him now. May God bless him
They don't believe in God
@@bibiinspades1953
Do you feel all people who do not believe in god are narcissists? Maybe you should re-phrase that.
@@bibiinspades1953 This is the truth
Yes, forgive from afar, from very, very far away. As for the blessings from God, they refuse them because narcs think they are superior even to God. So, don't waste your time in blessings. Bless victims all over the world. And stay away from narcs.
You can forgive but not go back .God wants you happy and safe too.
This video made me happy. Because while I did leave my narc ex, I felt bad for him because I just want him to be happy even tho I know he might not be happy with anyone or with anything. I almost feel like it's not his fault that he is the way he is--I think that's what kept me coming back again and again. But now, I know he can never change his ways and I can't let it hurt my anymore. I really tried my best and he's still blaming me for ending our relationship even tho it ended because of his lies and actions. I went no contact for the first time ever with him, and it's causing me anxiety but this is the only way. The end of this video made me happy for him tho--to know in the end he will always receive love and end in love. That's all I want for him--truly. For us both really--but I'm gonna have to learn to love him from afar and never speak to him again.
I too would rather live in a shack as an empath than live in a mansion as a narcissist, or phycopath.
I developed some interesting abilities dealing with my narcissistic family. They seemed to attract other narcissist and psychopaths as friends. They also seemed to make each other mutual victims.
The abilities that I picked up were:
I could instantly detect a lie
I often could accurately quote word for word what someone would say.
I could detect phony or empty people instantly.
I could detect when someone was deceiving others.
I could detect attacks before they happened.
The most dangerous ability I have is if I get to know someone, or shake their hand, I knew accurately down to the minute when they would die and detalies about their death.
I can locate people I know, just by letting my mind be still.
Hell. That's their fate. Sad, but true. They REFUSE to repent or ask for true forgiveness for Anything. They are above reproach. Their pride & ego are far too great for repentance and/or true forgiveness. Heart & mind darkened, concious seared, they will die, miserable & alone, after burning every bridge.
tommy d Spot on‼️‼️‼️
tommy d
*Christ Jesus came to set them FREE from that* by _MAKING THEM FREE THRU REBIRTHED-SPIRIT_
you're *blind, using man's logic* and are exposing your lack of *God's logic*
Who made you *BELIEVE* what you typed?
iBelieveth Jesus scripture. try it sometime...maybe you'll learn something. begin w Hosea 4:6
tommy d
I didn't know you had a copy of the *LAMB'S BOOK OF LIFE* _WITHOUT ALL NAMES IN IT OF EACH WHO WILL ENTER HEAVEN_.
*WOW!!!*
Can I get a copy of that??
And also, that's a really cool *unicorn you're riding around on!*
Where can I get one?
iBelieveth Unicorns? Not me brother. I live my life by the Holy Bible. I'm not into fairy tales. Scripture tells us that EVERY PASSAGE was inspired by the Holy Spirit, & that's ALL I need to live my life, do right, trust God, & Continue studying His Word. Christ has SET ME FREE. Unfortunately, there are those who CHOOSE evil, & God loves them enough to Allow them the free will to do so. They CHOOSE to hurt, to steal, to destroy, siding w the one mentioned in John 10:10. That's THEIR Choice, & unless they Meaningfully Repent w a true heart, their fate is sealed. There is no serving two masters my friend. It's one, or the other. I choose Jesus. HE is my Rock, my Savior, my Friend. And when I die, I will live, eternally, with my heavenly Father. There's such peace in knowing that. I pray all those poisoned by the narcissist turn to Christ. It's a crossroads. I experienced the evil. I had a choice...to participate, & tolerate, living a False narrative, or Breaking Free, to seek the Truth. I pray others have the wisdom to make the right choice. God bless you my friend.
I liked this video a lot, for it places our greatest gift, that of compassion (even for a narc) back into our light. Narcs are our brothers and sisters from our common source, having their very own life path and obsticles. They are not "monsters", they are just on their own path and based on their level of consciousness, act on their impulses. Forgiveness is huge and a powerful healing tool for all involved. Breaking the cycle of hatred and violence. Imagine, the narc chose this life experience (being a narc), to give us the opportunity to grow. Changing the perspective can be a great way of healing oneself. God bless all of you!
Amazing insight !! I can feel the vibration of the planet rising especially with positive people like you Melanie, thank you so much for this video 💗🙏
Awww bee that is so sweet of you to say! xoxox
Melanie you have changed my life. I didn’t quite get that narcissism was a real malice until I started watching your videos a few years ago. I have since healed some of my wounds and have a much better life.
I am glad to have helped Mibertotti Awake and it's wonderful to hear you are living a better life now. Yaya! That's what it's all about.
Jim Carrey said: I would like that everyone could be rich and famous to see this is not the key of happiness
J F cannot stand the guy. Total narcissist about as spiritual as a brick. Look at what he did to the irish girlfriend he had. She committed suicide.
My dad was a narcissist. Constantly put all my siblings and in abuse, cheating and stressing out my mom and turning her against us. As adults, my sister has become a narcissist while my other two siblings are lost and disconnected with them selfs. I was once there but now I’ve taken the time and care for myself to put myself back together mentally and spiritually. What I can tell you is, they do pay. A life long time of pain. My dad didn’t take care of himself (he was diabetic) and diabetes eventually took his life. It was pathetic because even on his death bed, he asked if anyone would miss him. These people are truly weak and lost. It easier to use people to fuel you than to take a step back and realize you have a problem that needs to be healed. Trust me, they do suffer. Maybe not visible to the naked eye, but a endless war they will never win within themselves. You’re strong, you’re great, you’re perfect just the way you are. Please remember that everyone! ❤️❤️❤️
Love to you Diva Sins hun xoxox
The ones who are completely dependent upon their looks, admirers, and social status, end up like Joan Crawford as portrayed in Mommie Dearest.
My ex nars is obsessed with her looks as thats all she has to offer!
This is so very true.
I studied the traits of narcissists & empaths & compared the difference.
I came to understand how the personalities process differently.
Empaths may well become overwhelmed before process but love returns when you let go of the need for retribution.
Your freedom destroys their plans.
Narcissists never produce their own love or happiness.
It's all image & don't be fooled by the over joyass care free display.
You breaking free & moving on is their greatest fear.
Mine said she wasted ten years when she discarded me.
Yup...
10yrs of training to be a slave wasted & now need to sucker another.
My narcissist helped me heal all from my past.
Helped me get over my Dad's death which hurt for 25yrs.
I'm so happy walking alone & coming back to the light of love 😊
This is brilliant Melanie and thankyou. When I discovered the truth about him, I was so upset. Initially after my shock, I went through the sadness, then the anger. I imagined my having steel boots on and wanting to kick him in his scrotum. Of course my anger has subsided when I gained knowledge of how their minds are wired differently. I don't wish Karma on him. I wish him happiness but I realise he will never be happy. I will devote myself to being happy and am grateful that I met him as he was as you say Melanie, for me to love myself and look within, 💞💞💞
You are so welcome Deborah xoxox
Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have given me food for thought and hope. Some people have told me that I’m crazy and/or dumb after admitting I worry about the narcissist who affected my life so horribly, but their feedback hasn’t helped and just made me feel worse. I can understand their concern because of the pain he’s caused me, but I can’t help feeling sometimes such immense sadness over the quality of life he could have. Realistically, I honestly don’t believe he will (can?) change in this life, and it shatters my heart to think of him old, alone, maybe in poor health, and still as spiteful as ever... I made the mistake of loving him more than I cared about myself for a long time which gave him so much power. Now I am doing my best to heal myself for myself, yet with that comes trying to educate myself about it all, so knowing how empty his Being is on his path...it’s so hard at times for me still. So thank you for making me feel not so alone or judged for my feelings, and thank you for sharing the message of light at the end of the tunnel.
You are SO welcome BGBPW and if you'd like to know more on how I can help you, I would love you to join me in the free healing workshop where you will get to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing for yourself www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
Had a short term fling with a female narcissist at work. She was very friendly at first but constantly threw her ex boyfriends under the bus....Hell she gossiped about the boss on my first day which I ignored.
Months later she began a slander campaign for the simple reason that I didn’t want a relationship whilst we worked together. She turned into a monster, her looks her sarcasm became so vicious.
I could feel the bad vibes when I walked into my job. All of the sudden her the boss became buddy buddy. They would deliberately talk about how much fun they had in front of my face and insult me behind my back. I became depressed for months ....Months later she approached me and told me the boss had been blackmailing her for sex, and she’s been having serious problems at her new job.
And I quit and found a job that pays much much better.Talk about karma.
These videos are absolutely wonderful. I was raised by a narcissist so of course I was trained to be one as well. I'm working towards not being under her control which isn't easy. Videos like these really help. Please keep up the good work.
I'm so glad my videos are validating your experience and helping you heal. Love and blessings xoxox
Deadpool TYInterWebs Congrats on your escape and awareness
You are a beautiful person both inside and outside. I send well wishes your way.
I met the group of malignants I know after ten years, and they had some many diseases (cancer, car accident, failed surgeries). I actually warned them ten years ago about this. But instead of this waking them up, they are just using all these new maladies to garner more pity from others. Wouldn't you know it? How could it be any other way?
Hi persiamotorman - Sounds 'normal' to me Hun. Unfortunately, narcissistic behaviour intensifies as the narcissist grows older and can become more extreme to gain some narcissistic supply. Turning the focus back to who we can change is key and that person is us, detaching from the narc and laying very strong boundaries went we can't go no contact, self partnering and healing the trapped trauma inside of us. Then there is NO narcissistic supply to be had by ANY narcissists. Hello thriving!! Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Just found these videos, and they are helping so much . I was so hurt by my narc ex wife, that I wanted retribution. But I got help and just kept on living . I ended up with my children and the true love of my life .It has gotten better. But the narcissist is going down hill fast . And you can see her pulling the energy out of everyone around her. The children won't have anything to do with her anymore. Awful life but one of her own making.
The fact that this is coming from an Aussie woman really makes me hopeful. More power to you, Melanie!
They really ARE dead, already. I never really got the reality of this till this moment. After 4 years of learning about it, leaving my ex partner, and now I discover my 'friend' is one too; my God !! Thank you Melanie. My fear was all I had to fear !!!!!
I am so pleased this helped Connie. Bless :) xoxox
I was with a Narc for 2 1/2 years. I left him for good on March 29, 2018. I got a lifetime Protection From Abuse PFA and since he sexually assaulted me and evidence is on my side, he may end up incarcerated losing everyrhing.... his military career and federal employnent. He thought he could do anything he wanted and then lie his way out of it. He has abused so many women before I came along. After leaving court, he was crying and shaking saying how his life is ruined and he mines as well kill himself. It was still about him, nothing about what he had done to me. I hope he does not kill himself and did report this so a welfare check was done. But to answer question, narcs are sad and miserable always even during times that I thought were good, he was mostly miserable!
Donna Re' Brown YOU sound like the narcissist dearie. Jo anne.
At least you were smart enough not to waste 20 or more years with this Narcissists if more woman had some courage to leave instead of accept abuse they would not have so many pity stories on here.
The awful thing about these narcs is the provocation they indulge in.
Relentless name-calling, and ridicule, and they try to make you believe you deserve it all.
NOT ANY MORE!!
Let always Almighty God protect His people
Yes. The first few verses of Psalms 37 give excellent advice, although it's not always easy to apply it.
Dear Mel, I started NARP last week and there's no way I could face the situation I'm facing right now (parental alienation of my child by the narc in my life) without the tools you provide. I am so deeply grateful for you and your beautiful work! I love NARP, version 3 is easy to follow and there's a ton of support and invaluable information. I've been feeling way, way better now. By the way, you look like a goddess, even more gorgeous in the light -in every way :)
MAN, you really do a great job on this subject! You go very far into this! Deep! Which is what it is!
Thank You Snow Winter and it is my absolute pleasure xoxox
I am so glad that you had this video on my UA-cam feed.
No matter what the narcissist has done to me in the 30 years that we have been married or the 2 people who did a terrible thing to me at work and made me go through hell, after doing all this shadow work, I honestly cannot wish that they go through hell because they had no choice in becoming who they have become.
I cannot believe that I wrote that after all the years of agonizing pain and sorrow and anger that I have gone through.
Light & Love to you, Melanie, for the tireless work that you have been doing in order to illuminate and clarify this terrible situation. 🌟🌟🌟🌹🌹🌟🌟
Dear Indira, l'm married to a psychopathic narc...for 27.5 years...not knowing what real love is...or why he doesn't hug me...or to feel his happiness when he's with me...my soul is screaming out for peace and longing...but is getting nothing of the latter,except screaming, swearing, false aligations, l'm the worst thing that happened to him....and l can go on and on.....l'm sooo alone and l don't know how much longer l can endure this....so all l can say is - l feel what you're going through....you're not alone..
tweety bird - the one thing that should be very clear in what I wrote, is that, because I do not wish hell on them, it does not mean that I wish to remain in this situation. We are at NO CONTACT now although we are living in the same house.
I only need to have the courage to move out with my daughter and begin from scratch. That is the scary part, starting from scratch at 56.
I no longer have the tiniest vestige of love for this man. I am only thankful that through the hell that I went through with him, I began to heal myself. Today, he has no emotional power on me.
Tweety bird, please began to heal yourself. I don’t know what kind of a soul contract you signed with this person but no one, I mean no one deserves to be treated like a narcissist treats you. Everyone deserves love and happiness.
So much love and so much light I shower on you, so that you can feel that great enveloping hug of warm beautiful love. 🌹🌟🌹🌟🌹🌟♥️
tweety bird - please do not endure “no love”. Nobody should have to endure that.
But you need to do the shadow work so that you heal yourself otherwise you will feel miserable and probably will end up going back to him or simply attracting the same kind of person to your life. Please do the work, Honey.
Thank you Indira for your kind words of hope...l have shut my emotions towards him ages ago...because l saw l wasn't getting anywhere with him, so l didn't want to waste my positive energy on him anymore...the kids 'see' the situation and they're on my side - we have four sons, ages from 15 - 25y old....l see him as a miserable and negative person whom l put up with...he works in another country...l'm glad he's not here...the funny thing is how he doesn't see that he's an aggragator and how he wants everything done his way otherwise he goes balistic....but l don't care anymore...l don't wish him any harm but l'd love to have him out of my life full stop....
He just wouldn't be missed...how sad is that??...
I'm learning how to let go. this video was very helpful. when I heal my beingness I hope to get the same outcome in court as well. I have to learn how to talk calmly first so he don't win in trying to take our son
These videos are a part of my healing process. I was involved with a narcissist for 10 years. I have finally cut him off completely shortly after realizing that he was indeed a narcissist. There is nothing I can do to get back all those years but I have learned. I will continue to heal and hope that he too will get a ride on that Karma bus. Blessings to you and those who put this valuable information out there for people that need it. Thank you!
You are so welcome Lisa. I am happy these videos are helping. Love and blessings xoxox
Dear Melanie,God bless u,we need people like u for help,and it's very amazing that they r still people that worry for others
Aww you are so welcome Gayane. Love and blessings to you xoxox
This makes sense! Its all an act with no authentic feelings or ability to bond with others. Thank you Melanie!
I'm glad it helps give you clarity Dawn and you are so welcome xoxo
Your wisdom is so appreciated. Six years ago, you literally saved my life. Xoxoxo
Awww Kari, I am so happy for you and pleased I could help xoxo
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and shedding light on this complex and vicious psyche violence many of us suffer from. Narcissistic abuse is an abuse on deeper soul level yet we seem to know little about it. Keep us thriving and again THANK YOU!
It's my pleasure Tatek, I"m so glad this helps. Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you for the video. I am healing my being and this community is power.
Hi Brigette, welcome to the recovery community and you are so very welcome.
I agree
omg i adore this one. you are so compassionate & strong & hopeful, it’s so powerful. thank you.
My mother was a textbook narcissist. She died at the age of 86 from pancreatic cancer. I wouldn't wish that end on anyone...however, I'm not sure if that is her "karma" that you talk about. Other than the horrific cancer at the end of her life, she didn't seem to be suffering AT ALL. I am the youngest of 4 siblings. My oldest brother and I both moved 100s of miles away from her. She never really messed with my oldest brother but I became the scapegoat, the punching bag and the proverbial black sheep of the family. My other brother (the younger of the 2) and my sister kissed her rear end nonstop. This brother was the golden child all the way and my sister was the wannabe golden child. My sister was constantly catering to our mother even at the expense of the rest of her family. When my mother died I felt relieved. She wasn't here on Earth, any longer, on a never ending quest to belittle me and hurt me. My sister and my golden child brother are now alcoholics. My oldest bro and I seem to be the ones that have survived her ego. I had to go to counseling after she passed away because I was so angry at how she spent the last 1/3 of her life hurting me and beating me up mentally and emotionally. While I feel like I'm on the other side of the damage she's caused and I've forgiven her, those old feelings flare up every once-in-a-while and I have to have a talk with myself until I'm grounded again. Maybe she felt miserable and alone on some level but I wouldn't know because I rarely talked with her. Thanks for the video.
You are so welcome Olive Baranch, I am so glad this video helps. Narcissists do live very limited lives going from one source of supply to the next trying to eek out and ration what they need (narcissistic supply) to motivate and fuel their lives. They are extremely insecure people and they are themselves unstable. They are envious and very sensitive to all of the input they get which they interpret through their perspective that the world and the people in it are hostile and dangerous. Can you see the limitations such a view of life could impose on someone? And then needing to impose her perspective on her children so that her needs and expectations could be met by them because she was not capable of meeting the needs of her children, and teach them how to function well in a world she retreated protectively from. I wouldn't wish that affliction on my worst enemy.
Though it was very hard for you to go through such a childhood, your capacity to carry the emotional burden and finally to seek to resolve it, you actually ended up with the better part. You are capable of becoming aware of this dynamic and healing yourself from it. Your siblings are less so as they were conditioned to mitigate their own discomfort through a scapegoat, a substitute for actually resolving our emotional issues ourselves. You will be able to move on from this, they may never be able to. It is the scapegoat that is more likely to make a full recovery though typically, they do this independent of their families.
I would love you to sign up for my free resources so that you can go further in your recovery. There is so much to look forward to. You can sign up here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htmLove and blessings xoxox
I read your narrative and I felt as if I could write the same thing about myself. My mother died at 89 an unrepentant demonic narcissist. At every huge tragedy in my life [and I had so epic hurricane-like tragedies] my mother was not there landing succor but pushing me over the edge just a little more. Yes "relieved" was the word when she died. At first I felt guilty for feeling relieved when she died. But I got over that short-lived feeling. I feel quite relieved actually and there is no guilt.
This is so true, my ex husband is now ill and ex boyfriend is lonely and lost. No inner peace at all. I was once broken grom a narcotic mother then husband followed by a string of narcotic dates . I worked hard and long. Now i'm free i'm happy on my own embraced freedom and i am running businesses where once i couldn't even hold a job .
Please leave it to God to handle them and he does. focus on yourself , once you're healthy you won't even care what their doing and how their doing. Have mercy on them .
When you heal, you are also expanding life force to others without doing anything, just is.
Start trusting life and do the inner work.
Thank goodness for media that is making life easier to give a direction.
God bless
Revenge saves years of counselling so to know karma will come around is a great comfort to people 🤗
You've been helping me so much through the roughest time of my life and when you said psychic vampire. I'm telling you that is true this man always knew what I was feeling and thinking he's extremely cunning. He knew how much i needed him everyday. You didnt say anything silly. He would tell me that he loved watching me do things he wasnt brave enough to do like talk to people in public. He was living off of my experiences. He would turn to online porn for control and power over the woman on live cam. He told me how he didnt know how to feel emotion. Would spend hours and days studying videos on youtube on everything. He told me he was using all of those things to cope through his suicidal thoughts stemming from childhood. He was alwayssss sleepy. Why. Cause it took all of his energy to pretend to feel things for me and life. Things that i found out through these videos. Ultimately the last straw for me. It was infidelity in my eyes his online chats with woman. Plus drank alcohol everyday. He helped me through so much child trauma he is typical of everything that I've been hearing and I was so confused and didn't know why when we had such a soulmate bond Which he would admit could he constantly leave me and never came back to work on things. I always went after him. I needed answers and would let him back in even though i was breaking inside. And I never ever chased a man especially after basically cheating on me. My identity was stolen I was so tired all the time no matter what I do it was never enough to make him be present in the moment. He never validated me. I would have to fish compliments yet he gave them away to others so easily online and in my face and it's been such a confusing time for me but these videos have helped me with the anguish in my heart because he is like a drug I miss him everyday and because of this I'm getting through my day every day for the last 5 days. I know now why I was going crazy. I felt like i didnt know who i was anymore. I was tired. I knew he wasnt making me happy. I told him so many times he doesnt care. I came off needy and felt stupid. I felt ugly or not good enough. Now i know the truth. All of it. And it all defines him and our relationship. I mourn the man he was pretending to be. So he could use me for sex,a place to stay,and living through my experiences I literally taught him how to love or thought I was. Thank you. I wake up first thing i feel is a burn in my chest. I am never going back anymore. Id rather lean on myself then lean on someone who never intended on a future with me. Of course he told me what i wanted to hear. Marriage and kids. He never wanted that. I pray for his soul. Im a godly woman and he pretended to be that. But hes a flat out evil doer. His family is oblivious to who he is. They baby him. Fly monkeys. I do feel like I was fighting a whole group of people. Hes incredibly charming and charismatic. But behind closed doors he sleeps his life away. Isnt driven. I am driven. Fully energetic. He took my life force but im getting it back. I blocked EVERYTHING DELETED EVERYTHING. I expect him to come back of course. But wont say a word. I used to weep when he came around believing it was me who was flawed. Manipulation was on point. Just wanted to share my stories.
We tend to define success by fame and fortune, but think about a person who spends their life doing missionary work and they touch and help countless people. These people feel needed and wanted and there is purpose to their lives and a sense of accomplishment. One who is at peace and touches the lives of countless people is successful in my book. Just my thoughts on the matter. :)
I moved from sadistic narcissistic mother who almost killed me several times. It was 20 years of my life during which she was destroying me. Survived through physical and emotional abuse. Suffered through depression and PTSD. Now I'm healing. I have the best friends, husband, his relatives. It's been 11 years we are together. I truly believe karma exists. Thanks for the video, I wish the best to everyone watching this and to you. Please, don't give up!
You are very welcome Lanaikea S, I'm so glad this helps. Love and blessings xoxox
Hi Melanie it feels as if I am getting destroyed as I’m aging. I have not been able to heal and move forward.. I don’t think I’m a narcissist but all the things you said about the aging narcs, feels like is happening to me. I don’t know who I am anymore and it feels as if I’m being annihilated. Why is this so hard to heal from? The loneliness and the sense of having lost everything I held dear, is unbearable. I still feel devastated for all I’ve lost ... and it has been years since N discarded me. My life has changed for the worst and I feel stuck in a life that isn’t my own. Even family members who I loved, have estranged me. It’s been a nightmare!!! I wish I could feel joy again but In all these years the underlying theme in my life has been the pain of the discard, betrayal and humiliation that hides underneath my forced smiles. God help me! Blessings to you Melanie.... thank you for your labor of love
Aww Truth Walker you are not too old to heal Sweetheart. This video will show you why I say this blog.melanietoniaevans.com/too-old-to-recover-from-abuse/ and this recent episode gives you examples of people who have felt like you do now and have come through to the other Thriver side ua-cam.com/video/UnOsOeOOdYg/v-deo.html I hope these give you some hope. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Thank you Mel. It seems they are always one step ahead of their target. Mine found a new supply while we were together and I think she is just like N? They managed to leave me financially destitute. I'm having a very difficult time forgiving the harm that has been done. The abuse had a great impact on everything in my life. Blessings
Hi, Truth walker. You might find this Thriver video particularly relevant too. :) ua-cam.com/video/GefQmFGyd6o/v-deo.html
Truth walker Have Faith... in yourself and in the Creator. 🌹
Truth walker
Hi,Truth walker you are in a crisis
I have been there
I've been crying out to God the Lord is willing and able to help
I read Psalm 34:15-17 every day and nite
You will heal stay safe stay healthy
God bless you 💜