To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info. Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining. For more videos click the JOIN button.
Thank you so much for making these videos. I'm bisexual questioning if I'm lesbian, I might actually be fluid not lesbian, this is helping me to feel less confused & stressed out about myself. Thank you.
I've kinda always identified myself as gay. Only one short period (when I understood that I have attraction to men) I labeled myself as "bi", but afterwards felt that label "gay" fits me much more and that I don't have any urge to have something with girls at all actually. However, lately I started to be interested in women kinda...and I've felt extremely confused. I've been having anxiety about that and a depressed state. I'm afraid that "what if my attraction towards men will disappear (forever)?"...or some other thoughts like that. But still, I can feel attraction towards men indeed, however not so much and intense as I used to. That's what upsets me, really. Thank you very much for your video, I feel kinda relieved now💜
hey there! i’m a bi guy and there are times where i get distressed when i find women less attractive and men more attractive and vice versa. here’s the secret: it never goes away for either if you’re bi. it may shift and change shapes and all kindsa stuff, may disappear momentarily even, but it always(!!!) comes back. it actually never fully leaves, it may just be “dormant.”
Hi Mark, Is it possible after coming out gay in my teens to start having strong bi feelings and resonating with people in that sexual orientation now that I'm in adulthood? Whenever someone tells me or says to me that I'm gay I just feel quite empty and blank and like it doesn't fit me and doesn't feel right to me anymore. Thanks so much 😃
@@jamiejay4640 u r welcome in fact i am bi since i was 6 playing docs games with girls an boys .. the bad period is reen when kidding joke or feeling people trest you of gay than u realize that exist this kind of men .. and start wondering what u r and rejecting or making complexes .. i never dut went out with girls and that period i forgot guys ... i had a love affair between 16-to 19 nice girl but we were always figtung one day she quitted me for a nice guy .. i never hated him they broke off after 12,months .. one day i went at the beach he was there ee start jocking teasing with some small arousing games .. we ended having sex in the cabin.. THEN I REALISED THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM IT WAS TERRIFIC IT WAS MORE THAN A SEX GAY .. GAME had a small affair with him during two monts he had another lover since few months and suddenly both we quitted the city .. i called made him for his birthday greetings 2 weeks ago .. we r 79 now .. we live 600 km apart . i got married had. quite fex relatins men and women and had kids he is still single. but as very charming clever and hansome he had plenty of opportinities he was in hight fashion say Armani donna Karaian gucci and so on a great carreeer i had 3 others steady affairs with bi married men than 45 i decided to stop and had only casual encounter and it was ok !! i never hed complexes nor questioned myself i had few gay friends that i sow during 1 -2 years but the gay mentaly is not for me i like str8 people common discusdions i had an american lover when i was 22 a university professor 3,years older than me .. he comes 3 times to see me in europe but never wanted to commit his life making me go to the states we remaned friends all life every time he was coming to europe we met as friends , till he passed away 2 years ago it was a lovely story
Your feelings are valid and If you feel empty when someone calls you gay it means that perhaps something has shifted for you and now you want to identify differently but as someone here mentioned labels are not necessary unless that’s what you feel comfortable with. Just do you ❤️ much love x
Hi, I don't think I'm completely understanding this. I have always been a heterosexual man, I have never felt romantic or sexual attraction to a man, but my head can understand that nothing is 100%, and it is possible that there may be a man in life who can light the spark, although never I have felt that. Honestly, with this fluid sexuality thing, I'm getting confused. Is it possible that, being heterosexual, can I stop feeling attracted to the opposite gender one day? That would be horrible for me, don't get me wrong... I wouldn't end up caring about being bisexual... but radically changing to being homosexual is something I would never like, I have a stable partner and I would like to start a family with her. I hope I have been understood
Yes I understand you completely. You’re not going to suddenly become gay don’t worry. If you’ve been stable in your sexuality your whole life you don’t have to worry about fluidity is mostly less stark shifts. It’s not impossible but it would be hugely rare and probably with many other factors at play so you’re good.
@@notdefining Okay, I understand. Just now I also remember a news story about a man who had an accident and hit his head, which caused him to completely change his sexuality, or people who were abused in childhood and therefore "change" their sexuality. I imagine these are cases like that, right?
Hey, i just found you! Well... since some months i feel a bit uneasy abt my sexuality. I came out as bi 4 years ago, at a time where i really embraced that fluidity and didnt bother at all abt all this. I didnt have any attraction for women, but just a year ago from then i only liked girls my whole life... Slowly but surely i felt like those crushes couldnt have been this serious and that it might be confusion (the feelings for women). And as my dad asked me if i might be actl gay, i went with it. I had zero feelings for any women. But as i said... i got fantasies a year ago with "women" (it was more like only the lower parts), and i thought its might be just because i dont care what "hole" (🤮 sorry for this terminology) it is. I began kinda oppressing it, sometimes i got romantic feelings which i rapidly oppressed and it worked. But those feelings got stronger and stronger... It felt like im loosing the future i had in my head (husband, adopt children, live a gay life). It feels like i wont be as respected anymore. I kinda had bad experiences with girls and straight guys so im kinda sad abt like turning out as them... and im scared of sexualizing women. Especially women i adore platonically since my childhood (celebrities, many who have a sexy concept). I kinda lived through it... i had great convos with non gay queer people and actl had a bi boyfriend before... i kinda felt more belonging and knew before, that there are even more bi defining lgbt people than there are gay defining. I was more happy.... and i guess i still am okay with it... but still im scared of turning less me... like i sometimes catch myself walking different, talking different... like not stereotypically gay/feminine... its like i define myself through my sexuality... its like im turning into people i didnt really like much in the past (i have big internal biphobia and kinda straightphobia (not in hating on straights/bis))... Sry... too muchhhh I just feel so darn sad Thx for reading this mess 😅
I was always attracted to women...and at 35 my age now....something switched and now it seems like the other way around seemed like it happened in just a few days
I have a question please help me!!!! Does fluid means I can feel lesbian today and then asexual next month, and then bisexual after that? And can fluid people not feel ANY attraction for a certain period of time as asexual? Because this happened to me and I feel no attraction to anyone now even I know someone is really really my type, and now somehow I feel disgusted to my prior crushes… but one month ago I was like deadly in love one girl… is this even possible and scientific?
To book a 1:1 coaching session with Mark, click here: www.notdefining.com/coaching-info.
Text chat with Mark and join group sessions at patreon.com/notdefining.
For more videos click the JOIN button.
Thank you so much for making these videos. I'm bisexual questioning if I'm lesbian, I might actually be fluid not lesbian, this is helping me to feel less confused & stressed out about myself. Thank you.
I've kinda always identified myself as gay. Only one short period (when I understood that I have attraction to men) I labeled myself as "bi", but afterwards felt that label "gay" fits me much more and that I don't have any urge to have something with girls at all actually. However, lately I started to be interested in women kinda...and I've felt extremely confused. I've been having anxiety about that and a depressed state. I'm afraid that "what if my attraction towards men will disappear (forever)?"...or some other thoughts like that. But still, I can feel attraction towards men indeed, however not so much and intense as I used to. That's what upsets me, really.
Thank you very much for your video, I feel kinda relieved now💜
Hey thanks for sharing. The fear is not real. You’re absolutely fine. Big love.
@@notdefining thanks you)
hey there! i’m a bi guy and there are times where i get distressed when i find women less attractive and men more attractive and vice versa. here’s the secret: it never goes away for either if you’re bi. it may shift and change shapes and all kindsa stuff, may disappear momentarily even, but it always(!!!) comes back. it actually never fully leaves, it may just be “dormant.”
Fazes exist too, where your more interested in a new thing, but eventually when normalized it it fades.
I am pansexual but, I am also happily single.
Omg me too.
Same here! ❤
Your nails always look nice, thanks for your videos. 🩷💜💙
This video answered so so much questions for me and is so helpful tysm😭
You're so welcome! I’m so glad it was helpful.
On an unrelated note, you should narrate audiobooks.
Ah thanks. That’s kind of you. If there’s a company that wants to employ me for that, I’m open! Call me! 🙂🩷
I don't have any offical relationship as such, i have strong bonds with both female and male friends.
That’s awesome. I kind of have the same.
Hi Mark,
Is it possible after coming out gay in my teens to start having strong bi feelings and resonating with people in that sexual orientation now that I'm in adulthood? Whenever someone tells me or says to me that I'm gay I just feel quite empty and blank and like it doesn't fit me and doesn't feel right to me anymore.
Thanks so much 😃
live your life as u feel t do not stick labels on you gay bi trans st8 or whaterver silly our now generation is suggesting to be
@pauljack7170 thank you so much
@@jamiejay4640 u r welcome
in fact i am bi since i was 6 playing docs games with girls an boys .. the bad period is reen when kidding joke or feeling people trest you of gay than u realize that exist this kind of men .. and start wondering what u r and rejecting or making complexes .. i never dut went out with girls and that period i forgot guys ... i had a love affair between 16-to 19 nice girl but we were always figtung
one day she quitted me for a nice guy .. i never hated him
they broke off after 12,months .. one day i went at the beach he was there ee start jocking teasing with some small arousing games .. we ended having sex in the cabin.. THEN I REALISED THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM
IT WAS TERRIFIC IT WAS MORE THAN A SEX GAY .. GAME
had a small affair with him during two monts he had another lover since few months and suddenly both we quitted the city ..
i called made him for his birthday greetings 2 weeks ago .. we r 79 now .. we live 600 km apart . i got married had. quite fex relatins men and women and had kids
he is still single. but as very charming clever and hansome he had plenty of opportinities he was in hight fashion say Armani donna Karaian gucci and so on a great carreeer
i had 3 others steady affairs with bi married men
than 45 i decided to stop and had only casual encounter
and it was ok !! i never hed complexes nor questioned myself
i had few gay friends that i sow during 1 -2 years but the gay mentaly is not for me i like str8 people common discusdions
i had an american lover when i was 22 a university professor 3,years older than me .. he comes 3 times to see me in europe but never wanted to commit his life making me go to the states we remaned friends all life every time he was coming to europe we met as friends , till he passed away 2 years ago
it was a lovely story
Your feelings are valid and If you feel empty when someone calls you gay it means that perhaps something has shifted for you and now you want to identify differently but as someone here mentioned labels are not necessary unless that’s what you feel comfortable with. Just do you ❤️ much love x
@@CherryBerryFashionthank.you so.much ❤ x
Hi, I don't think I'm completely understanding this.
I have always been a heterosexual man, I have never felt romantic or sexual attraction to a man, but my head can understand that nothing is 100%, and it is possible that there may be a man in life who can light the spark, although never I have felt that.
Honestly, with this fluid sexuality thing, I'm getting confused. Is it possible that, being heterosexual, can I stop feeling attracted to the opposite gender one day? That would be horrible for me, don't get me wrong... I wouldn't end up caring about being bisexual... but radically changing to being homosexual is something I would never like, I have a stable partner and I would like to start a family with her.
I hope I have been understood
Yes I understand you completely. You’re not going to suddenly become gay don’t worry. If you’ve been stable in your sexuality your whole life you don’t have to worry about fluidity is mostly less stark shifts. It’s not impossible but it would be hugely rare and probably with many other factors at play so you’re good.
@@notdefining Okay, I understand. Just now I also remember a news story about a man who had an accident and hit his head, which caused him to completely change his sexuality, or people who were abused in childhood and therefore "change" their sexuality. I imagine these are cases like that, right?
Hey, i just found you!
Well... since some months i feel a bit uneasy abt my sexuality.
I came out as bi 4 years ago, at a time where i really embraced that fluidity and didnt bother at all abt all this. I didnt have any attraction for women, but just a year ago from then i only liked girls my whole life...
Slowly but surely i felt like those crushes couldnt have been this serious and that it might be confusion (the feelings for women). And as my dad asked me if i might be actl gay, i went with it. I had zero feelings for any women.
But as i said... i got fantasies a year ago with "women" (it was more like only the lower parts), and i thought its might be just because i dont care what "hole" (🤮 sorry for this terminology) it is.
I began kinda oppressing it, sometimes i got romantic feelings which i rapidly oppressed and it worked.
But those feelings got stronger and stronger...
It felt like im loosing the future i had in my head (husband, adopt children, live a gay life). It feels like i wont be as respected anymore. I kinda had bad experiences with girls and straight guys so im kinda sad abt like turning out as them... and im scared of sexualizing women. Especially women i adore platonically since my childhood (celebrities, many who have a sexy concept).
I kinda lived through it... i had great convos with non gay queer people and actl had a bi boyfriend before... i kinda felt more belonging and knew before, that there are even more bi defining lgbt people than there are gay defining.
I was more happy.... and i guess i still am okay with it... but still im scared of turning less me... like i sometimes catch myself walking different, talking different... like not stereotypically gay/feminine... its like i define myself through my sexuality... its like im turning into people i didnt really like much in the past (i have big internal biphobia and kinda straightphobia (not in hating on straights/bis))...
Sry... too muchhhh
I just feel so darn sad
Thx for reading this mess 😅
I was always attracted to women...and at 35 my age now....something switched and now it seems like the other way around seemed like it happened in just a few days
I have a question please help me!!!! Does fluid means I can feel lesbian today and then asexual next month, and then bisexual after that? And can fluid people not feel ANY attraction for a certain period of time as asexual? Because this happened to me and I feel no attraction to anyone now even I know someone is really really my type, and now somehow I feel disgusted to my prior crushes… but one month ago I was like deadly in love one girl… is this even possible and scientific?
Easy answer. Yes absolutely. 100%.
Thank you.. 😊
than you so much i figure out what i m so thans you
❤❤❤
Everything is so confusing now that people need a video like this ?
Yes they do. Bye
try another men 98% u will enjoy if u r lucky to fond a good one like women all fr not the same