“Why 90% of Relationships FAIL!” - Divorce Lawyer on Lies, Cheating, and Love | James Sexton
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- Опубліковано 15 тра 2024
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0:00 - Intro
2:54 - The WORST Divorce Case James Has Ever Worked On
8:49 - James Sexton on Becoming a Divorce Lawyer
13:05 - The Power of Being 100% Supportive to Your Spouse
18:35 - The Impact of Social Media on Divorce and Self-Comparison
25:54 - Why MOST Relationships FAIL
38:29 - The Question You NEED to Ask Yourself Before Getting Married
42:07 - Understanding Child Support & Marriage Laws
46:20 - Why EVERYONE Should Have a Prenup
1:00:15 - There is No GOOD or BAD Person in a Divorce
1:05:14 - CHEATING
1:13:44 - The Key to Keeping a Marriage Alive and Spicy
1:18:14 - How to Be Seen as a “The Hero” in Your Relationship
1:21:22 - How Modern Dating Culture Affects Relationships
1:33:28 - Using Positive Psychological Manipulation for Better Relationships
1:37:14 - Deep Questions to Improve Your Relationship
1:41:25 - Heartbreaking Divorce Cases
1:44:48 - A Good Divorce Lawyer is Worth A LOT
1:57:20 - The Most INSANE Prenup Clause That Held Up in Court
2:05:22 - Do Opposites Really Attract?
2:06:53 - Closing Thoughts
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"practically everyone is in a relationship" Thanks for rubbing it my face Graham 😭
oops
I'm almost 30 and never been on a date.
haven't seen woman up close .. .yet hahah 😂
Wow graham. Just wow. Shame! #JackIsBetter
😂
3 failed long-term relationships here and I can say this man is ON POINT with everything he's saying.
There’s a constant variable there
@@Boosted_aj lol tell me something I haven't already realized.
@@Boosted_ajoxymoronic much
100%!!!!
Except that he uses juvenile terms about very adult situations.
Why say he felt 'icky' about smashing a client on the other side who simply hired a lawyer who didn't know his way around the law of evidence?
He felt uncomfortable about it because what he did was enrich himself where he saw disadvantage.
At the same time he's congratulating hinself on recommending clients not proceed with divorce and seek counselling, or avoid the court system and use mediators. So why did he not pull back from personal enrichment there?
It troubles him enough to mention it, but not enough to unpack it fully because he knows he erred in that decision.
It's not about what you can get away with, it's about what is ethical.
By using a juvenile term 'icky' he's distancing himself. He knows that what he did is not really moral regardless of what he says about the rule of law, simply because as he admits, his client was simply more cashed up.
That is brutal. So let's save the icky and similar terms for where they belong. In teenagers' TikTok or Instagram responses.
My wife and I turned this episode on in the background today and ended up watching all 2 hours because of how invested we were! Never heard of James before, but he seems to have lots of wisdom, and a great speaker.
Definitely check out the softwhite underbelly episode!
@@josuereyes-vega2743 His Rational Male interview was better than SWU or Lex.
I highly recommend reading his first book.
Married oh my God marriage of suicide most marriages end at 9 years
@@tonydiesel3444SX as
This guy is so insightful, real, and actually HAS life experiences. He is blunt and honest. I can listen to him talk all day!
Same here. I’m binge watching his videos tonight.
With a face like yours, id listen to you all day too
Proud Father! I am always amazed this is my son and extremely proud of what a caring human being he is.
He is an awesome story teller.
Hopefully you are now in a good place and he's keeping it down for you with the grandkids and everything. Keep going,one day at a time.
He's a Star ✨✨✨✨✨
they mean 90 percent a year or lifetime?
or 90 percent per person
they may split, but it doesnt mean the relationhip was failure completelly.
the person just decides to have new model, because of boredom.
Its like saying I ate my favorite food 500 times in ten years, i loved it,
but 95 percent of it ws failure..
Just because the time passed, it doesnt mean it was a failure to eat the favorite food.
Subconscious mind is 90 percent negative,
conscious mind works 5 percent a day but is 100 percent positive.
The relationships are not faiulre, but not learning any lesson from previous relationship
and repeating same mistakes is failure.
He’s awesome, smart
and so interesting ❤
As a married woman and stay at home mom to two children I feel very seen… didn’t expect it to be by a divorce lawyer either.
Oh no, divorce lawyer tempting women into divorce!
Same🙏🏻❤️
Number 1 way to keep your husband: tell him you appreciate him, give him space as needed, and be a vixen in bed. I'm a dude. It's pretty simple.
Many many great points here!! At 49 with some ups and downs with my wife for 26 years we found that a weekly "talk time" is crucial to keep thing going the right direction and getting better. We keep it short and 1) "Thank" the other for something they did that week. 2) "Sorry" for for something we did that week. 3) I will "try to" do something better or different this week. It is not a argument match. We don't go off on many items. Keep cool. Stay positive. End in a good place
Thanks Michael. Good on you for having regular talk time. This should be “socialized” into the area of “what’s expected “ into the language of a marriage similar to how many people discuss sex in the realm of what’s expected in a marriage. Change the dialogue people.
Excellent practice and idea!! 🙌
This is very good, thanks for sharing. All the best to both of you!
If you can possibly see your partner as a member of your team rather than a member of the other team the dynamic changes! However, There is NO room for dishonesty or cheating EVER - those two things are out of the bounds and cannot be changed/fixed. Divorce is legal but it is wrong and Hurts everyone involved around you Especially children. The future legal & relationship troubles are an issue most don't think about either! Just sayin!
I just saw a meme graphic about "strong independent" women working in restaurant being hated by boss, instead of working as a mother, that is loved by whole family.
It seems like people dont realize many things... How you want to make companies to hire only men,
its impossible.
Women go to work,.....to pay taxes, get social benefits, and not be woried about getting retirement money....... Therefore they are supposed to chose a school, to find a job.....They dont want to end up in some homeless home, or something like that......Its just option to get a school,a nd after schoool get a job.
Goverment would say she is not contributing to society, if she will just make babies.....and as some doctor says many women suffer from infertility, partially because they dont spend enough time in nature, they are only in interiors, shopping centers, houses, jobs, cars and rarely go out exercising..... by the way if woman gets bored, she is annoying to hersefa nd everybody.
Women love hobbies....and they want to turn their hobbes into some job, or part time job, to not feel bored or stuck and anxious about future..She doesnt want to exhaust her husband and drag the money only from him....and make him so tired and overworked, that he has no time "for love making or spending time together, because the bosses dont tolerate from him to work less hours or less products, bosses are basically anew form of a dictator who puts more work on the workers than they are able to do sometimes, because the material is shity or th equimpment breaks down etc. She knows he has enough work, anyway...so she wants to contribute as well.
........We can not expect the companies to hire only the men....There are not as many men on planet Earth to get all the jobs that are required. ....So men and women should find common language, in order to raise healthy kids and also .....if they dont find a common language, then the artificial intelligence will steal all the jobs, includding the most creative ones....Sam Vaknin explained that the Artificial intelligence is acting like a narcissists do... It steals jobs, it pretends empathy and it spreads misinformation and fake data, the same way as narcissists do. He thinks the government should block it in some way. He is right..... So no wonder that the trend of arguments is so high on Tik Tok, and on social media about gender and race and sexuality etc.....Its probably created superficially, and increased by AI, because as Sam Vaknin says AI spreads Fake data and misinformation.....Artificial intelligence increases the level of algorithm that suits the needs of Artificial Intelligence...rather than the needs of human beings.
Wtf how have I listened to this guy for almost 2 full interviews before he mentions he has a book!!! Impressed by the humility and definitely going to read it
You weren’t paying attention at the beginning then, he mentioned in the first few minutes his book he wrote in 2019
@@JavierPwns He's pretty clearly referring to having seen James on the Soft White Underbelly and Lex Friedman interviews, where James does not mention his books.
Books. plural.
@@JavierPwns I think you might have misread, misunderstood, and mistaken. The two full interviews were from other podcasts.
This is a master class in marriage, relationships, and culture. Love listening to him. You can tell from his logic and passion while speaking what he does for a living. Such an interesting interview.
He's also capable of being a real @hole and he knows it.
Sexton is a great dude through-and-through. I’ve known him for 10 plus years, and have met very few people that were as enlightened, transparent and knowledgeable as James.
Graham is now 100% sold on getting a Prenup, he's just scheduled the uncomfortable conversation.
He got one ages ago. They did a video about it.
Prenups should be required to get married.
Trump had one as well. But it didn't stop him from paying more than the agreement.
Idk much about Graham. But can he afford better lawyers than Trump?
Poor Jack and Graham look petrified realizing they can’t absolutely control cheating
😂😂 wtf
They know divorce will take most of their hard earned money.
Stephan graham has a prenup.
Sexton talks about cheating like a man who's already given himself permission to go off his diet. But knowing about *some* things doesn't make you an expert on ALL things, & cake doesn't just fall from the sky! 😂 If you're a sex addict, serial cheater, or have literal damage to your frontal lobes, don't promise monogamy. For those WANT to stay faithful, stay out of bakeries!
James Sexton reminds me of my favorite college professor. I could listen for hours and learn so much out of a conversation! The lessons learned come so easily when he talks.
This guy actually had some really wise and intuitive words to say about not just love but all social life. Really great! I’m gonna be thinking a lot about what he said on how America is a culture that pushes everything to the extreme
"I think I learned a lot about... you know, about that you can disagree with someone and they're not your enemy, you know that you can love someone and disagree with their point of view"
If only more of us knew this.
my wife is an evangelical church devote sort of person, and i am an existentialist by default, so to say. And we both disagree deeply on the existence of the old testimony God. Still, it is kept only as a matter of intellectual investment.
Kida rare.
We also deeply disagree on what life is about.
We're both professors, and we love each other in despite of our differences.
Fellow experienced divorce lawyer here (Pennsylvania and New Jersey). Great video counselor!
What do us young men do older timer? This modern world seems f#@cked
It's easy, just don't get married especially to a modern westernized woman. @@kl7514
@@kl7514 you be normal lol. just be fucking normal. James said i plain english that you can't just blame women or men. Marriages end for all kind of reasons, she might file for it but it's his fault because he already left. Or she files it cause he cheated but they haven't had sex for years. Be a normal guy and date a normal girl that you actually like and understand that if you can't have hard conversations with her, she might not be the one.
If she has the emotional intelligence of a child and you think that shit is cute as a GF but act surprised 10 years down the line that she still acts that way, you chose wrong. It's that simple. If you believe dating is to find a wife, tell her that on date 1. That'll filter out all the people that aren't looking for serious relationships. Have the finance and child talk early on in the relationship. If she's on the same page easy win, now you are dating your potential wife. If not, dump her and move on.
@@piper67890able you're coping hard, 80% of divorces are initiated by women lol, and with modern swipe dating they have 1000's of simps ready to be the cleanup guy lol
@1:09:45 "The line between good and evil runs not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either - but right through every human heart." (Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn)
When he said that he can tell when a couple is going to get divorced just by the way that they talk to each other and by the way that they talk about each other when they're not together. ❤love this. It's so true!
This guy has been my favorite guest on pods and I'm a single dude. Always feels like he brings something I can carry into the future.
Dont rush into marriage, and once married, remember your vows and that it is not about you as an individual anymore.
You can work through almost anything when you work as a team.
Very well put!
Sometimes you are the only teamplayer
@@stevenraz8756Then it is time to leave.
I totally rushed into my marriage. We married the month after we met. Been over 10 years and he’s the best husband. We’re actually doing better than couples we know that didn’t rush to marry.
You would be the lottery winner, but not the exception, I was married happily for at least 15 years@@mljohnson7192
I love listening to this guy, He is so intelligent and real. He is a great lawyer, I also search for videos of him talking on the internet
I was married for 28 we got an amicable divorce with no attorney she had a large 401k and I had a lot of properties and we did not take nothing from and we're still good friends
why did you guys get divorced then?
@@dreamerspringswalksit’s possible to love someone and be kind to them while recognizing you are no longer compatible as romantic partners.
Sounds good
It was nice of Enrique Iglesias to take the time to interview James Sexton
🫣
😅😅
This is the best episode on this channel in recent history. This is the reality of marriage not the over sensationalized hellscape red pill pushes. It comes down to your relationship.
I agree.
No one is saying all marriages work out without issue. The same reason sex should be reserved for after marriage, if the major issues are worked out before even thinking about living together, chances of success (imo) are going to be arguably much greater. It’s not about perfection or being right, it’s about increasing the odds of survival for the relationship. And, how much emotional work the couple wants to put into it.
@@phantom3827 You are correct, sir, no one is saying that. I agree that its better if major issues are dealt with before getting married, but issues arise throughtout a marriage, even major ones!
@@phantom3827 why wait to find out sex until after marriage. If your wife is into bondage and bdsm and you aren't your marriage will fail. She will not be fufilled and will constantly dream about the what if. If he likes some kinky shit and she's just down for standard positions same thing. That's important. Sex is as much a part of the relationship as finances or children.
@@piper67890able I agree it’s one of the pillars in a relationship. And all those details can be discussed before becoming intimate. I’m not saying it will work flawlessly, the hope is, these things can be discovered before a couple gets too involved. Might help things from getting too messy. And yes, these things could be discovered even a decade into a marriage. The most important thing in my eyes, is to talk through these situations, and not be too dismissive of your partners desires and dreams.
I LOVE JAMES. Thank you. I've been waiting for more podcasts of him.
At first, I found myself wondering why I was listening to an episode with a divorce lawyer. I ended up really enjoying it and found a lot of great points that apply to a good relationship.
What you’re describing at the beginning about the hatred and wanting to destroy the other person is people with cluster B personalities. These people aren’t human and they do not think and feel like a normal healthy person who knows how to truly love. Many will never understand unless you truly witness it. I feel like most people would be dumbfounded if they knew how these people actually operate and that they truly exist in this world.
A skyrocketing number of women are Cluster B, social media & dating apps & birth control & SSRIs have broken them irrevocably. They're Post-Human.
He is so practical and clearheaded that it brings me peace to listen to him.
I could listen to this guy for hours❤ so insightful.
The best part is he doesn't blame any gender. Always a balanced opinion . I guess this comes from his upbringing. James, your parents did a massively impressive job in raising you. Kudos❤
i am a relationship virgin and in my 30s. I have so much fears about bad relationship, divorces, loss of assets and future, but wow what a good 2 hour conversation to reevaluate how I view relationships and expectations
You never jumped in, out of fear... life is too short, just try, life is too short....
Can’t live your life on hold. It goes too quick. Get a prenup/postnup
Proceed with caution and discuss expectations. Leave no stone unturned.
Usually what you think about comes, true. Think more positive, and think of the kind of life you want.
Love is a scary thing but it is also an amazing thing you should give it a go haha
Yo, this moment is golden. I’m at the 1:15:00 point an dit blows me away how the older man is mentoring the young guys on how to make relationships work and they are giving him their full attention even though I detect moments of resistance to certain things, they are really listening and learning. These grown young men are smitten with their impromptu mentor and it’s life goals.
32 years old male - 2 failed long term relationships - Been single for a year - Getting a girl(s) is not hard for me, but I no longer have the heart to commit fully again, so I'm exiting this market and choosing peace. It's better to have loved to have never loved at all. 🤷🏻♂
I dont know about that, alot of men I know who have had terrible relationships and experienced agonising break ups and heart break either commited suicide or are on whatever drugs they can find to mask the pain. Alot of guys I know who just stayed long term bachelors seem to be doing fine mentally and physically.
There are exceptions to the rule, but if you want to then this is a reason to pursue it again. Loneliness is associated with a higher risk of premature death from all other causes including cancer and heart disease. Maybe now it feels hopeless but I think you should think of your future self and you may find someone who feels just as hopeless about finding a man 😉
@@itsonlyagame4033 They count loneliness as having no close friends also. So theoretically you could live like Leonardo Dicaprio with no permanent long term partner for life but alot of close friends and be fine. The people who lived the longest were rich men with friends but no partner btw.
"Comparison is the thief of joy" Damn, that was good!
Teddy Roosevelt said that
7yrs married and it was sexless. Everything I did nothing ever came of it. When I asked her she would tell me she didn’t know,but she said she loved me. I had to leave and when I left all I got was how I betrayed her. Needless to say while the divorce was going on within 2 weeks she was talking again back with her ex. Just wish she would have told me the truth instead of wasting my time. Think that’s where the hatred comes from a divorce is the time I will not get back. But life goes on.
You guys keep killing it with these guests and your questions!
Love that you asked him stuff he hasn’t been asked before, especially considering all the interviews he’s done
For real
I have to say... this is so entertaining and engaging. Not only is he informed and insightful, he is hilarious! And the poise and raw intelligence of the hosts is appreciated as always. Great show!
Love love love this man and his way of articulating relationships. Thank you 🙌🏻
You were great on Lex’s podcast. You were even better here!!! The insights you give and metaphors you share are just so powerful. Thank you.
He explains things well. Means he really understands what he does and has lots of experience. Great guest
Divorced in 2012, been completely single and loving it, since 2017.
Fantastic. The conversations continue to be some of the best on UA-cam. I look forward to Sundays now just to watch these episodes.
Before I met my husband, I had my own house, a good job, and so on. I still have all those things, but believe me, I am counting down the days until I get pregnant and become a stay at home mom. That’s what we both want, and that’s the plan we are aiming towards.
I was the same. I owned a condo and had a corporate job. I am about to have my second son 18 months after the first. It has led to a lot of conflict being SAHM and caring for our child.
Things will get rocky when the dynamic changes.
"I don't think people do evil things 'cause they're evil, I think they mistake it for happiness". That's a thing to give a thought or two. Kudos to Jimmy Sexton and the interviewers, I work as a forensic psychologist mainly in custody cases and always learn a lot with his interviews.
Wow!! What an amazing conversation. So glad this stumbled upon my feed. We have a lot to learn about ourselves and our relationships!
Love you guys, great guest this week. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for having James on. I can't get enough of him!!!!!! Wish he was an attorney talking like this in '97 when I needed him 😅
You wouldn't have been able to afford him 😢
The interview we all wanted!
Enjoy!
I'm new to this Channel. What a great guest. He's one of the few people you can listen to for hours. As for the hosts: A+ for not interrupting the guest like other hosts do.
This guy is pure gold!!
“I’m gonna die, you’re gonna die, we’re all gonna die. You can see that in 2 ways, you can be terrified of it or you can see it as an invitation to live your life.” 8:15
Such a real life episode guys! I'm going through a break up so maybe this hit home differently because of that but this is life plain and simple
What a wonderful talk about so much in a short amount of time.
Do yourself a favor, and watch this. Watch this today. Right now. It's fantastic.
Thank you for the wonderful talk.
Jason
What a wonderful guest. Very informative. I love his perspective. Everyone should listen to this episode. ❤
New to this channel
Great interview/conversation. James is so intelligent and skilled in what he does. Love his insight on relationships and human psychology. So refreshing and honest! 💯
Love James sexton. I think I’ve seen like 6 podcast episodes with him lol so glad I subbed literally yesterday
Really appreciated the crucial, hard-hitting conversations with good humor diffused through. Another entertaining episode - Cheers Graham and Jack 😊
He’s great to listen to. So many good nuggets. Very helpful.
"The hard thing to do and the right thing to do is almost always the same thing"🙏
This was a fantastic interview guys! I couldn't stop watching. I can see why James is such a good attorney - he is a master with words.
Iced Coffee Hour I commend on having these amazing discussions. I actually had no idea who James Sexton was until I listened to this podcast and it was one of the best things I ever listened to in my life. Keep bringing more content like this!
Watch the Soft White Underbelly episode with him on it. Ever since I watched it, I couldn’t get enough of him.
My gosh!!!!!!!!!!! That divorce lawyer is unbelievably, impossibly, devastatingly handsome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and still wasn't good enough for a woman. nor was Brad Pitt.
The BEST episode you've had...this dude is on point
Great podcast guys another job well done 👍👍
I really really really like this guy. Very practical but also good hearted.
This was super interesting!! Great conversation.
Thank you. ❤️
Absolutely loved this episode. Never heard of the guest before but he’s got such an interesting perspective on things
Wow. What a podcast!! Opened my eyes big time. Thanks boys
The way this guy explains things just makes me wanna listen to everything he has to say.
This was incredibly informative. Thank you
Wisest lawyer infact a human being i've ever seen. So much knowledge and wisdom in every word he speak.
Incredible! He is spot on and such a STUD.
one of the best podcasts!
This interview is gold man, cheers!
I could listen to James sexton all day. Always says the real stuff that people are afraid to be. These are traits I aspire to have as a human
James is a captivating guest on every pod he has been on. You guys kept it fresh despite all of his other appearances.
I was pleasantly surprised at how James said a load of things he hadn't said on his other recent pods.
Always get a Prenup, even if you haven't made any money yet. Not having one keeps people in unhappy marriages more than anything thing else, speaking from experience..
Wait u can do that if u don’t get a lot?
Loved this podcast! So informative and interesting. Thank you!
"Comparison is the thief of joy" - Great quote
Saw James on SWU and immediately became a fan, great ep!
I recently watched The Iced Coffee Hour Podcast with the Jason and Brett Oppenheim and Graham briefly mentioned Jason Sexton and I was frantically looking for the podcast with you all 🤣 SO HAPPY to see you all spoke and to see it uploaded today. Thank you in advance, I know this is going to be good!!!!
Yes!! Good memory!
One of my genuinely most favorite videos on UA-cam.
You guys, this is n awesome podcast!!! Thanks for having a podcast watched you forever!!
James, Graham, Jack great video, I have a youngest brother who stay with me ever since the death of my older brother, he said ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies, sometimes we argue over dumbest stuff, But I feel obligated to look after him since lot of our family members died. He was youngest in the family; I do my best to be kind and thoughtful of his situation so listening to this video was so helpful. Thank you all 3 for uploading this video.
That's very sweet of you. Hope you both grow together harmoniously and contribute to one another for many years.
Mark Laita's interview on Soft White Underbelly was informative and essentially provided free advice! One of the best guest's Mark has ever interviewed! ✨️
Excellent discussion!!!!💯
These young guys asked the best questions!!!!
Wow, totally worth several listens from start to end. I'll definitely be saving this to listen to over and over and applying some of these tips in my marriage. Always room for improvement 🥰
Wow
Amazing lawyer
Very helpful full podcast
Thanks guys!
This was one of the most helpful and informative discussions I've heard
Jack is a very creative guy, i can see him there the whole time scratching his chin, coming up with ideas and questions to ask
This was a really really good and insightful podcast thanks for having him on. My only critique is the Audio. I wish it was a tad bit louder but thanks anyway! Keep it up guys! Cheers amigo from your biggest fan in Colombia
Making myself coffee for this... can't wait to hear James out.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!! I loved this episode one of my favorites
This dude is extremely wise
This guys is amazing! I need to see more of him pronto
As an attorney I love listening to James Sexton... Awesome stuff, always SPOT ON.
The W T F Media studio was really nice and I always appreciate the better backgrounds when I am looking back at your earlier podcast episodes.
Super interesting conversation, thanks guys!
I've heard Jim speak on 3 or 4 podcasts now and I STILL agree with at least 90% of what he's saying
I've not seen every episode but. I nominate this to be an all-time top 5 on UA-cam and I'm going to recommend this to people who are getting married or divorced to watch this.
James Sexton has a deep knowledgable of human love from his experiences, and does an incredible job articulating it.