No argument. Just need for them to go one on one, or equal on equal. Is that not why narcissists make the "Flying Monkeys"? They think it is an advantage. Narcissists sound so stupid trying to be legal warriors, but think they are so smart. Thank you, Ms. Rebecca. You hit home.
A narcissist has no empathy. Simple. They cannot self-reflect, nor admit their mistakes relevant to a situation which causes more conflict and can even become dangerous. I don't deal with these people.
yep they r devious and u can t win with these evil people who hide behind the bible and claim to be christian. They r double minded , narc sil and her narc husband. No contact is the only way
Narcissists can be from parents with no personal boundaries and that spoil their children to no end. Entitled children think they run the world and they grow up to be monsters.
Yes, spoiling children can be part of the causes for narcissism. Spoiling children is often a form of child abuse when love is replaced with other things.
So true! I have especially seen this in evangelical church families that prioritize the eldest child above all. My parents, Malignant Nmom/ vulnerable Edad coddled My elder sister as the Golden Child so extremely, that she became a legit psychopath, who absolutely would kill me if she could get away with it. She would burn the city down and her own house with it, just to see me on fire.
Jesus!🤷🏾 I am that case in point. Narcissistic parents and ex-husband. 2 sons. He got physical custody. Now I have two grown narcissistic sons. My ex used to provoke me and videotape me. He'd accuse me of cheating but before the divorce was final he bought a house and moved his pregnant mistress into it. I was so stressed and worn down I even contracted meningitis during the custody battle. That was 1995-2003. And then I went from a failed marriage to an old ex from college who was also, you guessed it, a narcissist.🤦🏾 At 53 I'm only starting to heal. I'm realizing just how many narcissist I have in my life and I realize it's because I've been a walking doormat almost from birth. The bible says we perish without knowledge. I'm thankful for youtube. Because of channels like yours I can learn how to be a better me. Thank you 🙏🏾
Narcasists generate A LOT of business for lawyers. Rebecca Jung fights the good fight AND shares information. Hiding information, shaming and creating fear are most used tools in the narcasists tool box ... sharing information is the hammer which creates new and better lives. Thank you both.
My narc "neighbor," called the cops on me 3 times on New year's weekend; For Nothing. He Lied about me...(I got a copy of the police report!) Then he Lied about me for 6 mos., behind my back, & told others how I was the one with the problem... &, he told everyone that I was the one that called the cops 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. I told some ppl, That's a lie. I have a copy of the police report. The 1st time the police came, they told him, "No contact," & the 2nd time, they told me, "No Contact...". Police Know about these "people," too !! I followed the police order of No Contact. then the creep did stuff to aggrivate & instagate, but I did not retaliate !! Then he did More stuff to get back at me... 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Lying, Denying Projection, and Deflection is what I experienced being that covert religious narcissist. I will be purchasing that book. Dr. Carter as always I thank you for bringing awesome guests to your channel. Please bring Ms. Zung back Dr. Carter. This was great.
They can also be affected from prefrontal brain damage in addition to familial abuse and familial (genertional) narcissism...mine was and he was (is) a master at his craft.
I have to look into these parts. Mine was total master at his "craft" as well. I saw that his brother also is a narcissist. And I think his mother may have been too. Is it common for npd to run in families? I can get that if one or both parents have the disorder, that would cause such trauma in a child that all the children could develop it. But is it also inherited? @@lauracoussens6207
I worked as a legal assistant for an attorney who did some family law before going solely into criminal law. What Rebecca said is the truth. You will encounter narcissists in high conflict custody cases. We had a custody case years ago where the mother was diagnosed with NPD by a court appointed forensic psychologist in addition to several other psychologists. This woman did not want her ex-husband to have any rights to their children. She had left him when the children were toddlers. She first tried to portray him as a drunk, incapable of taking care of the children. When that didn't work, she coached the children into saying that he sexually abused them. The father went through a lot of hurdles to obtain his rights to see his children. He was even arrested because social services believed what the children were parroting from the mother. Eventually, it got sorted out, and he had a relationship with the one child. The other child wanted nothing to do with him. Here's some things that I want to explain to the public when it comes to narcissists and the court system. Success depends on how well you maintain yourself and navigate through this system. You need to understand that the courts are not necessarily there to protect your rights. The courts are there to do whatever is in the best interest of the children. Facts and evidence are critical in winning in court. Document everything by keeping meticulous records and a diary of what occurred when communicating with that narcissist and when there are custodial exchanges. Write down important details as they occur. Always keep your emotions under control and NEVER allow your emotions to supersede your good judgment. Understand that your attorney is there to help you navigate through the judicial system. Neither your attorney nor the courts can make the narcissist behave or change. The courts can only enforce the law. Another important thing to understand is that fighting a narcissist in court can financially drain you. I have seen clients go into serious debt because they had to not only pay their attorney but also expert witness fees for their expert reports and their testimony in court. There are also fees for custody evaluators who do home inspections. The fees could run over $100,000 in extreme cases. I am not saying this to deter anyone from fighting a narcissist. I am merely speaking the truth. Some people on fixed incomes don't have the finances nor the emotional strength to fight the narcissist for their children and give up. In that case, sadly the children become the ultimate losers in that situation as they are stuck with the narcissist. There is hope for people on fixed incomes. 1. Do your research. You can represent yourself in court. Many court forms are online. 2. Keep a strict diary and document everything. 3. Have someone with you during custodial exchanges to witness what's going on during those exchanges. 4. Communicate as little as possible with the narcissist and their flying monkeys.Understand who you're dealing with and set boundaries with these people. Always remember that their opinions do not matter. Facts, truth and evidence are what matters. 5. Do what's in the best interest of your child(ren) ALWAYS. Even if it means that you feel that you're being wronged in the process. 6. Go to therapy and provide the court with proof that you are in therapy to help cope with this. Also, there are parenting classes that you can attend that are free in some places or covered by insurance or at low cost. Inquire about it. They help a lot because it shows the court that you care about your children and are trying. 7. Do not bad mouth the narcissist to the children and to others. This only backfires. People don't want to hear your problems because it gets old and they have their own problems. Also, do you really want to stoop to their level? Remember, that you do have rights BUT as Rebecca said, you have to have a well-prepared strategy. The best way to defeat a narcissist is to simply outsmart them. These toxic people normally outsmart themselves.
I tripped up a covert narc from a family of cops through going gray rock & figuring out what he was after… it didn’t change him, but he disappeared at last!
yes, and be very calm, professional and respectful always. then the crazy will show itself appropriately in the one who is manipulating, and you will be seen for who you are - calm, rational and thoughtful
what about the children who are raped by their fathers and the mother is painted insane and vindictive? I have seen way more men do this than women. I know women do it also - I was raised by one. my father didnt want me either tho... regarding my children, the court didnt care - they were selling my children and thats how it was gonna be.
@marshill3101 It's where the Covert starts planting seeds of doubt...saying off handed comments. For example, the Covert will say, "I don't trust that person!" That person being a family member or a friend of yours. Or "I don't think you should trust such and so!" Or "Are you really going to wear that outfit?" And there is nothing wrong with your outfit....maybe, you wore that outfit before and nothing was said. But they leave the statements and questions open-ended. Coverts will act concern, but they're not. Google Coverts!
Another thing they do is to repeat things that you say, but with a little twist or omission that makes it sound like you are evil. (Lies with a dash of truth, to make them sound so believable!) Then when the story comes back to you, if you argue, it sounds like you’re splitting hairs and making excuses.
They have already thought threw s many conversations so they are able to spin or twist things you might say to them so that they look good, others look suspect, and you tend to question your own thoughts and reality. @@marshill3101
@@lisajohnson4744 🙄🙄🙄😠😠😠😠... tell me about it ! SO True. The nerve of them... 🙄 What really irks me is, They're the Crazies, but they'll never go to counseling...( not that counseling wld. ever affect them)... But everyone else around them, ends up in therapy !!!
I listen to you all the time, and I really love your interview with Rebecca. I especially like her covering the narcissist in the legal world and the business world as well as personal relationships. It always feels good when you hear people articulating exactly what you’ve experienced.
I Am looking So Forward To This Video I Never Knew The Evilness Of Narcissistic Abuse. I Was Horribly Emotionally Abused For Yrs Not Knowing What I Was Dealing With. My Self Worth Self Esteem Destroyed By The Narcissist.After Being Cruelly Discarded. I Realized That I Needed Help. Thank God For Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Videos. Narcissistic Abuse is Very Brutal Cruel Abuse.
Yes indeed. It is in fact the videos on narcissism and narcissistic abuse that have been the only things that actually worked for me over the years, since most therapists do not have the additional training specifically in narcissistic abuse.
I have CPSD. Took me until my 50’s to figure out I suffered from PTSD and my 60’s for CPSTD! Dr. Les Carter and Dr. Ramani helped me discover it along with counseling! Now , this interview. And, I come across other’s and send them to these you tube channels and enc. counselling. Thank you so much!🎉🎉
Absolutely True! Pray for me because my ex narc is taking me to court tomorrow 🙏🙏🙏 I've been in therapy for over a year from his abuse. TRAUMA & TRAUMATIZED
Fear is your worst enemy now so don’t show any emotion but stick to the facts & you have got this because the truth will out itself! You’re stronger than lies
"I hate you, don't leave me" work for Narcissists, but it also applies to folks with BPD. In fact there is a very good book about Borderlines with that same title, "I hate you don't leave me".
I just ordered your book for my lawyer husband! He needs to understand narcissists. I try to tell him the psychology behind these people and he just blows me off so he should listen to you, Rebecca:) Thanks so much! I wonder why law school doesn't teach human behavior psych classes. They really should!
Rebecca Zung’s videos were my first source of information about narcissism. I didn’t even know it had a name! And that’s how I began to understand exactly what I was up against. I had seen the overt narcissism. But I was married to the covert/ passive aggressive version. In hindsight it is all clear now. I can now clearly see all the symptoms. And I also understand what transpired in her life to cause it. She told me that she had dealt with the trauma. But this is how she dealt with it. If only I had known ahead of time. It’s probably the one thing that I wasn’t prepared to deal with.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment. My brother is going through this right now and your comment is so helpful. Im so appreciative. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
More than thank you!!! Two wise people who've seen what happens inside family systems where a narcissist is in control of you. She begins with the limbic system and splitting, and you can watch if you wish. She's a former family attorney. He's Dr. C. Thank you both! You don't HAVE to be so empathetic, Dr. C or Rebecca Zung but you were born that way. What a gift.
"...they want to take withdrawals as fast as possible." (10:42 - 10:59) So very true. That's because for extreme narcissists it's all about consumption. The other person...the supply person...is used and abused as a source of supply to feed their insatiable and overinflated egos. (Their self-esteem was deflated and the ego took over.) This is not good, therefore it is evil. There is no gray area between good and evil, so it's either one or the other and since narcissists do not deal in truth, their actions are evil. They are still God's children, but lost in a world controlled by the evil one. It's so entrenched in them that even the ones who worship God and Jesus can't move themselves into a healthy range of functioning.
@lauracoussens6207 Very well said! It breaks my heart that my mother is this way. Evil took advantage of a broken person and my mom kept making poor choices . I always pray for her because she says she is a believer. I hope I will see her again when we are free of this world. Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
"lying & denying ... projection & deflection" ...so true!! During our last 3-way conversation with my husband's narcissistic sister she used *ALL* four of these crazy-making tactics on us during a 30 minute conversation. At the time, I didn't realize what she was doing, but NOW I fully understand! And then we hung up on her once her tone took a drastic change and she became very vicious, and started screaming at me and name calling. It was after that eye-opening conversation, where my husband heard the way she spoke to me, that he decided to go no contact with his sister. For years he just didn't believe that she hated me, but now he gets it. That was almost 2 weeks ago. So we finally have some peace & quiet. We hope to keep things that way :)
I think a danger encountered with some narcissists is their belief that revenge is their entitlement. Even if it requires breaking a law. They seem to never have a doubt that evil deeds are the proper response to slights.
Lots of people go through terrible tragic hard stuff as kids and don't grow up to be monsters. I've seen some come from loving homes with amazing parents and normal non monster siblings. Maybe there's something genetic or physiological.
True. There are always exceptions to generally held beliefs, and no one yet fully understands the exceptions. All anyone seems to know is that many people who suffer childhood abuse have somehow broken the generational cycle of abuse. Examples include the people who are here in the comment section sharing stories and eager to heal.
I always go back to what was happening in those first two years & that’s where the trauma of arrested development began with black or white thinking as well as objectification of external supply… narcs lacked transitional objects to separate & become secure individuals
When you ask them about things you know they expressed at one time, and they tell you they "don't remember" or "you are wrong" about certain things when I can hear it and see it like it was yesterday. So sad, but true. This stuff is difficult, but necessary I know. No pain, no gain. Thank you, Ms. Rebecca Zung, Dr. C., and Gus.
When she said "They always have to have the final word", that is the truth. An example. Years ago, after my adopted mother's funeral, that happened to me. As the funeral ended, this stranger came up to me and said "You know your mother Really loved you". Her last words through another person. A flying monkey acquaintance of hers. I never met this woman before. First of all, it was very inappropriate for the situation. But as time went on, I really thought about that comment and an alarm went off in my head and I said, "Yeah, I know." And I took off. It was the most bizzare feeling I've ever had. Ive been studying who this person really was from my past. And have discovered many things I could never really face before. But to me, that comment said it all. Sums it up. Love is a personal matter. Not one to be discussed with a perfect stranger. This was a complete example of a violation of trust between 2 peoples lives. And, today, knowing the real person she truly was, it would have only been discussed because she was putting me down to this woman. Why else would that topic have even come up? At all.I can hear her now. " You know she just has so many problems, but I really love her, anyways." You see, this was her blind side. She thought she was smarter than I was. She was slick, but you can't bs a bser who learned from the best. People, anyone who puts you down or devalues you has no idea who they're dealing with. Because if they did, you wouldn't be going after them. Get every cent you can. They took enough out of you. They have no understanding for you ability to make inferences about their behavior. That's your intuition. Your protection from God.
In terms of growing up with trauma, its not just narcisists that grow up with trauma. The whole world has grown up with trauma, because the world is just beggining to heal and be aware of it. I had a narcisistic parent, and i was the scapegoat, im grateful i have found healing, from it, found safe places to unpack my trauma, safe enough people to listen to me, validate and hold space and empathize with me as a survivor of this type of childhood specially because i lived also 2 years alone with the narc parent. Im grateful people held space for me , empathized with me , validated me as a survivor, and taught me gentleness on myself and healthy boundaries, untill i started applying them and my inner child and true self, came out. Now im the loving parent who loves honors listens protects and speaks up for that inner child and tries to find safe enough connection for my inner child where i will get my needs met , and tries to take my space and share my true self with the world, and chose safe enough people for my circle. Cptsd, / trauma , is something the whole world has / some are in healing from it, and some arent, and some became narcs/ others thankfully kept their empathy , and their sensitivity, and their humanity , and their healing consists, in knowing that they deserve to have selfcompassion, healthy boundaries, and be in relationships where there needs get met.......... We keep healing were worth it. With gentleness humor love and respect, were worth it. God speed we are worth it :)!
I got taken really bad in a divorce from a covert narccisst. I gave up. I had suicidal ideation for 10 years before the divorce. Contempt, smirks, angry faces, smear campaigns, isolation, name calling, and rage wore me down. I left the state. I lost my inheritance. I had complex post traumatic stress disorder with many health problems afterwards. I haven't dated in 6 years after leaving because I have been healing. I had no suicidal ideation since the day I left.
I am on a similar path. My husband claims he didn’t brainwash our sons against me but that’s exactly what happened. When I found I could no longer trust him because he was so cruel towards me it changed my feelings towards him. I distanced myself from him emotionally and that rejection he perceived resulted in parental alienation of me. He would counter the suggestions I made for our kids’ well-being and success, saying they didn’t have to check their assignments or homework, they didn’t have to wait to play video games until they finished their homework or basic chores (putting clothes away, making their beds, walking our beloved dog). Then it got much worse. He would make up mean lyrics to a favorite song of mine and sing it. The kids would also sing it. I was in complete denial because it was all so hurtful. I don’t claim to be perfect or to have behaved perfectly, but no one deserves to be treated the way we have been treated. I kept feeling things couldn’t possibly stay so terrible but I was wrong. In spite of my prolonged attempts not to hurt our family financially by asking for support that any other person in my position would receive, I am the identified patient and the selfish villain. I appreciate your honesty and courage in writing about your experiences. It sounds like you have found at least some peace. Thank you for your inspiration and I’m very sorry for all that you have endured. Now I’ll get back to trying to reinstate my auto insurance that he canceled without my knowing it.
Now I understand why after five-years out of a 22-year-marriage, I still feel wounded and vulnerable. Complex PTSD. Thank-you. I am waiting for the book so I can SLAY the bully. Thank-you, both.
This video couldn't come at a better time. Am dealing with a narc that is trying to bully and harass me financially and have kept proof of it all because now he's trying to threat legal action. Yes I am 10 steps ahead of his BS.
Our first Christmas together we had been dating about 3 weeks. He overwhelmed me with great gifts. Things changed drastically after that. I tolerated him for 4 years because he threatened to kill me if I tried to leave him. He ended it 6 months ago and I just quietly walked away. He slammed the door behind me when I left.
Looking back, I now have a lot of insight into my past experiences with narcissists. I worked briefly for a "pro-woman" fitness wear company in Emeryville, CA which should have been re-named Title Narc. I was literally cornered and screamed at by the narc manager over trying to help an injured cat on the property and the owner, a true malignant narcissist, totally backed her up and flipped the script onto me when I reported her. It was an ambush by the two of them. I was promptly fired. This happened time and again to employees there. It was like a tightly controlled cult run by a very angry, power-hungry person and if you weren't a favored flying monkey, you were abused and thrown out.
I just recently had another insight to what made my Mother turn out to be a narcissist. Her Mother, my Grandmother, had expressed deep joy when seeing some others, struggling or shocked or disappointed. Like the time I made a special trip down to see her and to take her out to lunch. And I was going to pay for lunch cuz now I could afford it being out of school and with a job. When I came back from the bathroom she had already paid the bill which she knew would surprise and disappoint and annoy me. Her laughter from witnessing me in pain was so full of joy and laughter. And same kind of stuff must have happened to her coupled with not enough support and resilience training and talking thru and confrontation.
That part about the bully, " ...went into bully mode ...pointing finger at me... laid into me... real colors come in...giving way to only one false comment... to love bombing...to gaslighting... to discard to intimidate." The fact of the matter in the end, "... all you are doing is educating me." Now we know ! The light comes to the fore and we can see it! Now take this lesson and move on away from that bully and the potential bullies.
When you say the narcissist wants to remove who you are and fill you up with who they are is something so good to build a strategy on. It is always good to challenge the narcissist even though they won't accept your insights. You tell them the source of their information is questionable. Don't argue but say enough to challenge their thinking and take some of the air out of their balloon.
Spot on regarding: for even just asking the narc a question. They take even this as conflict and they're "offended"..yes, this was the word used yesterday by someone I know who's now been exposed as a covert narcissist. Made accusations about me that weren't true and when I asked for examples of how/when that was the case..the mask slipped. Attacked me further by saying I was "too sensitive", mind you, this is while she's simultaneously admitting to being "offended". She also said she was gonna keep being herself..while simultaneously trying to prevent me from having the freedom to be me, by trying to shame me as being "too sensitive" and by trying to quash my quest for the truth by asking questions. She also said the classic "I never said that" line, which we know that this convenient, instantaneous "amnesia", is just another example of the "lyin and denyin" tactic of the narc. Lastly, and because I stood my ground, she attempted "the discard", and tried to get rid of me and get me off the phone by asking, "So then what did you call ME for then??"...All of this people, over merely asking a question. I hope this helps anyone else that has experienced a maddening conversation like this, to realize you were dealing with a narc and that the problem is not you, it's them.
@@GodsChosenMekAmoR Ikr..and you are spot on with the word "obnoxious". Yes, just so full of themselves, strutting around acting "indignant", when they are the ones in the wrong, not us.
@@marshill3101 🤣🤣🤣I know about it, lol. When you said strutting around, it gave me a flashback and he looked like a fool. The only reason he ever had to strut was when he could mention I'm his wife and the children were respectful and we were fun. Outside of that he has NOTHING. They are so insecure but always yelling and full of rage. Inside like a sick little mutt.
@@GodsChosenMekAmoR Lol. You hit it on the nail! The rage..and the insecurity, which is why even asking a simple question is a threat! From a spiritual perspective they are referred to as having a "Jezebel/narcissist spirit". Jezebel is a demonic spirit of *control. That's the other spirit they operate under, along with insecurity, etc. Check out the book by Steve Sampson, called "Confronting Jezebel: Discerning and Defeating The Spirit of Control". He gives great insights from a spiritual/Christian perspective and many of the traits he lists that they have are the exact same ones the people in videos like these also list. I'm about to send a text to "confront" the narc I posted about..for me not her, because we know with the narc, there's little to no chance of them actually owning anything. Lol.
I'm married to some form of narcissistic, possibly covert. He has learned to control his anger, but not for positive reasons, but to make sure his real personality isn't revealed. I could go on, as I'm sure many of you can.
Pivoting your mind, go creation mode! Know what you are dealing with...but most important, deal with yourself. Healing is winning! Thanks Dr. C. for bringing your guest.
Mine was in the workplace and you really do have to take on the bully head to head because when there becomes flying monkeys you will know your bully has inspired a mob mentality. This is excellent Les and Rebecca.
Listening to Rebecca describe characteristics of narcs was like a rerun of my experiences of past & present coverts to the T. My sister divorced her Covert ex-husband after a 4 1/2 year marriage. He would put me down with his snarky remarks. It was very difficult and made me angry to see what he put my sister through. She was so traumatized that she couldn’t let me hug her! But thank goodness the divorce was in her favor. She’s much better now. Dr C thank you for bringing back Ms Zung. Both of you are our dynamic duo! 🎉🎉🎉
A intelligent attorney with knowledge and a cool head is a rare brilliant find ..im glad to say my Son found the same in his own madness of divorce and a custody battle.
Wow so good to see both of you engage this topic together! They WILL absolutely burn the business down to spite their partner. My parents, Malignant Nmom/ vulnerable Edad coddled My elder sister as the Golden Child so extremely, that she became a legit psychopath, who absolutely would kill me if she could get away with it and did destroy my small chain of coffeehouses just to watch me go down with them! She would burn the city down and her own house with it, just to see me lose something good.
I love how both of your book shelves match up closely together. similar ideas, similar impressions. thank you for your great information and assistance to survivors !
Rebecca is Amazing! Top Attorney, AND she is knowledgeable, and experienced, with NPD. God, wish she could have been my lawyer. Family Law in the end, does not consider what these individuals are capable of.
I really like Rebecca the statement you made.. "I was in victim mode and not creation mode".. hope I have this correctly. On another note... I think back on the times I sort help from a wise source whether it be a counsellor or Psychiatrist.. though I apprepriate their help in some areas they really didn't get to the heart of my confusion and hurts.. I never left feeling or thinking any clearer... it was not until the penny dropped coming out of unhealthy patterns/situations along with coming across individuals that you could say I was left disturbed by... I began to see the light, so many aspects of my life and patterns came to light, lots of things started to click into place in my mind and heart. I am so very grateful I came across Yourself and Dr C, and other great people who are dedicating their time and wisdom. Yes Dr C... learning to have Respect for yourself is key. Self respect, self-care, knowing thy self. Some great key ingredients to exude and know the meaning of D.R.C. Thank you. Monica. New Zealand.
You two together is a double dose of assurance to qualify the Narcissist early and navigate carefully. From love bombing to passive aggressive the swings keeps their “prey” Very off balance. The goal: Take back control of your space by established healthy Boundaries!
I greatly admire Rebecca for her work as a super professional lawyer in helping people. I'm not sure if she is a retired lawyer. She still helps people thru her videos and books and talks she gives. 🎉🎉
Born and not made. I am neurotypical and loving and so we’re both of my parents. My sister is a full blown narcissist and has had inverted cruel behaviour since early childhood. My grandfather, aunt and uncle were narcissists. Born and not made. These people absolutely do not think the same. Rebecca does not have this illness in her family so she has not observed it long term.
I've watched both of you separately in a quest to understand my situation...together you are so wonderful! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I'd love to see the topic of divorcing a narcissist who is starting dementia. In addition to the lies, the lack of empathy and impulsive decisions in dementia are incredible, even dangerous, but there is a whole coterie of flying monkeys to help deny and gaslight.
I love you both sooo much! I freeed myself from someone that was truly toxic for my health! I stopped putting energy in their accusations, I stopped caring who they tried to make hate me for no reason and I completely took care of my mental and physical health and connected back with my family 💕 I feel great so much respect 🧘♀️✨ love and light to both of you
This was absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for this DR Le's and Rebecca, It's a pleasure to be with great people, You're both an inspiration to me, All I want is these two out of my life, This is my VISION, My other VISION is to have a powerful ally by my side in this, I trust the universe that this will work out, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)
ohh. Rebecca. Slay is right. She doesn't mess around. Dr. Carter, I have a request. Can you do a video on how to attract or get into relationships with healthy, kind people? I love your videos on dealing with and understanding narcs but I want to try to at some point find a good person to relate to. Most of my life, it's just been narcissists or nothing. thanks you!!!
Excellent interview. Nice to know I am not the only one who has been screwed out of my life and thought processes. It started when I was young with my mom, but the certain other people kept the gaslighting going. The funny thing is when you confront them on it. They play dumb, lie, and threaten you like that is going to fly. I am glad you two are out there fighting the good fight.
Yep. The demon after me turned my entire family against me- they definitely used the “she has a problem” tactic in the beginning, but that was disproven since I’m live every day lol. After that didn’t work they moved to trying to un-alive me. It’s been insane.
Narc brother in law did the same to me. But my other sister and mum now see the truth. We’re after him now and will expose his evil for everyone to see
Wow the case You...Rebecca Zung...won against the "godfater mother".....makes You an Angel...a true Angel in this material world...!!! God i love people like You to!!!Thank You LC =)
It is EXACTLY like Rebecca said. They would rather destroy everything, hide assets and commit crimes than to give a cent to spouse.
What's theirs is theirs and what's yours is theirs!
So many woman divorce men and take everything, a lot of times it’s better to let it all burn and rebuild, than to let her win.
@@lukerivera6514or if they are narcissistic men they do the same to their ex partners too.
And they blame you for putting them in this situation. Dealing with this right now.
No argument. Just need for them to go one on one, or equal on equal. Is that not why narcissists make the "Flying Monkeys"? They think it is an advantage. Narcissists sound so stupid trying to be legal warriors, but think they are so smart. Thank you, Ms. Rebecca. You hit home.
"They wouldn't attach themselves to you if you didn't have so much value" - wauw that sentence was very nice to hear. It speaks life!
A narcissist has no empathy. Simple. They cannot self-reflect, nor admit their mistakes relevant to a situation which causes more conflict and can even become dangerous. I don't deal with these people.
yep they r devious and u can t win with these evil people who hide behind the bible and claim to be christian. They r double minded , narc sil and her narc husband. No contact is the only way
It's probably all for the best that you don't deal with them.
I like that Bianca, "I don't deal with these people". 😅
I've observed that they double down on their refusal to admit mistakes or being wrong in any way. And yes, avoiding them altogether is ideal.
Me neither. I can spot them a mile away, & I'm "No contact," with them asap!!
Narcissists can be from parents with no personal boundaries and that spoil their children to no end. Entitled children think they run the world and they grow up to be monsters.
This was fostered in school systems by child care that promote doing whatever the child wants and making everything revolve around the child.
Yes, spoiling children can be part of the causes for narcissism. Spoiling children is often a form of child abuse when love is replaced with other things.
So true! I have especially seen this in evangelical church families that prioritize the eldest child above all. My parents, Malignant Nmom/ vulnerable Edad coddled My elder sister as the Golden Child so extremely, that she became a legit psychopath, who absolutely would kill me if she could get away with it.
She would burn the city down and her own house with it, just to see me on fire.
Jesus Liz. You are protecting yourself from this dangerous sister of your's, Right? Sending you love & divine protection.
Very true!
Listen up guys. This is the best advice out there. It could literally save your life.
Jesus!🤷🏾 I am that case in point. Narcissistic parents and ex-husband. 2 sons. He got physical custody. Now I have two grown narcissistic sons. My ex used to provoke me and videotape me. He'd accuse me of cheating but before the divorce was final he bought a house and moved his pregnant mistress into it. I was so stressed and worn down I even contracted meningitis during the custody battle. That was 1995-2003. And then I went from a failed marriage to an old ex from college who was also, you guessed it, a narcissist.🤦🏾
At 53 I'm only starting to heal.
I'm realizing just how many narcissist I have in my life and I realize it's because I've been a walking doormat almost from birth.
The bible says we perish without knowledge.
I'm thankful for youtube. Because of channels like yours I can learn how to be a better me.
Thank you 🙏🏾
Narcasists generate A LOT of business for lawyers. Rebecca Jung fights the good fight AND shares information. Hiding information, shaming and creating fear are most used tools in the narcasists tool box ... sharing information is the hammer which creates new and better lives. Thank you both.
@harmonicbuzz
I've got a neighbor that has destroyed property boundy fence, I taking him into litigation
My narc "neighbor," called the cops on me 3 times on New year's weekend; For Nothing. He Lied about me...(I got a copy of the police report!) Then he Lied about me for 6 mos., behind my back, & told others how I was the one with the problem... &, he told everyone that I was the one that called the cops 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄.
I told some ppl, That's a lie. I have a copy of the police report. The 1st time the police came, they told him, "No contact," & the 2nd time, they told me, "No Contact...". Police Know about these "people," too !! I followed the police order of No Contact. then the creep did stuff to aggrivate & instagate, but I did not retaliate !! Then he did More stuff to get back at me... 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Rebecca Zung 🕊
Lying, Denying Projection, and Deflection is what I experienced being that covert religious narcissist. I will be purchasing that book. Dr. Carter as always I thank you for bringing awesome guests to your channel. Please bring Ms. Zung back Dr. Carter. This was great.
Disgusting how they hide behind a bible .. dangerous
No prefrontal development= no empathy, no rationalality.
That must explain why they act like toddlers.
They can also be affected from prefrontal brain damage in addition to familial abuse and familial (genertional) narcissism...mine was and he was (is) a master at his craft.
She says around 5-6 minutes in that the prefrontal cortex continues to develop but the limbic system does not.
I have to look into these parts. Mine was total master at his "craft" as well. I saw that his brother also is a narcissist. And I think his mother may have been too. Is it common for npd to run in families? I can get that if one or both parents have the disorder, that would cause such trauma in a child that all the children could develop it. But is it also inherited? @@lauracoussens6207
I think manners comes from ethical/moral/emotional understanding or lack of. @user-qr8fc8ji4h
I worked as a legal assistant for an attorney who did some family law before going solely into criminal law. What Rebecca said is the truth. You will encounter narcissists in high conflict custody cases. We had a custody case years ago where the mother was diagnosed with NPD by a court appointed forensic psychologist in addition to several other psychologists. This woman did not want her ex-husband to have any rights to their children. She had left him when the children were toddlers. She first tried to portray him as a drunk, incapable of taking care of the children. When that didn't work, she coached the children into saying that he sexually abused them. The father went through a lot of hurdles to obtain his rights to see his children. He was even arrested because social services believed what the children were parroting from the mother. Eventually, it got sorted out, and he had a relationship with the one child. The other child wanted nothing to do with him.
Here's some things that I want to explain to the public when it comes to narcissists and the court system. Success depends on how well you maintain yourself and navigate through this system. You need to understand that the courts are not necessarily there to protect your rights. The courts are there to do whatever is in the best interest of the children. Facts and evidence are critical in winning in court. Document everything by keeping meticulous records and a diary of what occurred when communicating with that narcissist and when there are custodial exchanges. Write down important details as they occur. Always keep your emotions under control and NEVER allow your emotions to supersede your good judgment. Understand that your attorney is there to help you navigate through the judicial system. Neither your attorney nor the courts can make the narcissist behave or change. The courts can only enforce the law. Another important thing to understand is that fighting a narcissist in court can financially drain you. I have seen clients go into serious debt because they had to not only pay their attorney but also expert witness fees for their expert reports and their testimony in court. There are also fees for custody evaluators who do home inspections. The fees could run over $100,000 in extreme cases. I am not saying this to deter anyone from fighting a narcissist. I am merely speaking the truth. Some people on fixed incomes don't have the finances nor the emotional strength to fight the narcissist for their children and give up. In that case, sadly the children become the ultimate losers in that situation as they are stuck with the narcissist. There is hope for people on fixed incomes.
1. Do your research. You can represent yourself in court. Many court forms are online.
2. Keep a strict diary and document everything.
3. Have someone with you during custodial exchanges to witness what's going on during those exchanges.
4. Communicate as little as possible with the narcissist and their flying monkeys.Understand who you're dealing with and set boundaries with these people. Always remember that their opinions do not matter. Facts, truth and evidence are what matters.
5. Do what's in the best interest of your child(ren) ALWAYS. Even if it means that you feel that you're being wronged in the process.
6. Go to therapy and provide the court with proof that you are in therapy to help cope with this. Also, there are parenting classes that you can attend that are free in some places or covered by insurance or at low cost. Inquire about it. They help a lot because it shows the court that you care about your children and are trying.
7. Do not bad mouth the narcissist to the children and to others. This only backfires. People don't want to hear your problems because it gets old and they have their own problems. Also, do you really want to stoop to their level?
Remember, that you do have rights BUT as Rebecca said, you have to have a well-prepared strategy. The best way to defeat a narcissist is to simply outsmart them. These toxic people normally outsmart themselves.
Best. Comment. Ever!
@@danielkaiser8971 Thank you. Dr. Les Carter is a godsend for people going through this. I am so grateful to him.
I tripped up a covert narc from a family of cops through going gray rock & figuring out what he was after… it didn’t change him, but he disappeared at last!
yes, and be very calm, professional and respectful always. then the crazy will show itself appropriately in the one who is manipulating, and you will be seen for who you are - calm, rational and thoughtful
what about the children who are raped by their fathers and the mother is painted insane and vindictive? I have seen way more men do this than women. I know women do it also - I was raised by one. my father didnt want me either tho... regarding my children, the court didnt care - they were selling my children and thats how it was gonna be.
Rebecca is slaying this podcast with her insights and experience. Whoa! Thank you for having her as a guest, Dr C!!
Frighteningly accurate! Coverts will seed plant for decades. C- PTSD recovery is brutal. Thank you Dr Carter 🙏
What is planting seeds?..Tell me more about this covert narc tactic.
@marshill3101 It's where the Covert starts planting seeds of doubt...saying off handed comments. For example, the Covert will say, "I don't trust that person!" That person being a family member or a friend of yours. Or "I don't think you should trust such and so!" Or "Are you really going to wear that outfit?" And there is nothing wrong with your outfit....maybe, you wore that outfit before and nothing was said. But they leave the statements and questions open-ended. Coverts will act concern, but they're not.
Google Coverts!
Another thing they do is to repeat things that you say, but with a little twist or omission that makes it sound like you are evil. (Lies with a dash of truth, to make them sound so believable!) Then when the story comes back to you, if you argue, it sounds like you’re splitting hairs and making excuses.
They have already thought threw s many conversations so they are able to spin or twist things you might say to them so that they look good, others look suspect, and you tend to question your own thoughts and reality. @@marshill3101
@@lisajohnson4744 🙄🙄🙄😠😠😠😠... tell me about it ! SO True. The nerve of them... 🙄
What really irks me is, They're the Crazies, but they'll never go to counseling...( not that counseling wld. ever affect them)... But everyone else around them, ends up in therapy !!!
Love Her…..so passionate and helpful to people in need. Dr Carter is a National Treasure also
I concur 100% with "Dr. Carter is a national treasure."!!!
Yes!!
international :D
Love his credo "Dignity, Respect, Civility = DRC = Dr. C !!!!
Yes he is amazing. I've made so much progress. Wish I had her as an attorney when I got divorced!
I listen to you all the time, and I really love your interview with Rebecca. I especially like her covering the narcissist in the legal world and the business world as well as personal relationships. It always feels good when you hear people articulating exactly what you’ve experienced.
I Am looking So Forward To This Video I Never Knew The Evilness Of Narcissistic Abuse.
I Was Horribly Emotionally Abused For Yrs Not Knowing What I Was Dealing With.
My Self Worth Self Esteem Destroyed By The Narcissist.After Being Cruelly Discarded.
I Realized That I Needed Help. Thank God For Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Videos.
Narcissistic Abuse is Very Brutal Cruel Abuse.
I hear you. I'm finally getting my life back. ❤
AWESOME IM SO PROUD AND HAPPY FOR YOU.
@@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively
Yes indeed. It is in fact the videos on narcissism and narcissistic abuse that have been the only things that actually worked for me over the years, since most therapists do not have the additional training specifically in narcissistic abuse.
@@danielkaiser8971
So Incredibly True Thank You for Sharing
I have CPSD. Took me until my 50’s to figure out I suffered from PTSD and my 60’s for CPSTD! Dr. Les Carter and Dr. Ramani helped me discover it along with counseling! Now , this interview. And, I come across other’s and send them to these you tube channels and enc. counselling. Thank you so much!🎉🎉
My late mother went from helpless victim to raging villain. This trait helped her get away with so much abuse.
Did she ever suffer karma?
Mine did too! Everyone had to "Protect" her then she became enrage and down right vengeful.
Spot on..going from one extreme to the other like that..they'll do whatever it takes to try to get their way.
It's what I am afraid of!
@@Summer_Harvest You should read "Do Narcissists get worst with age" by Truthseeker0111. Just Google it!
Absolutely True! Pray for me because my ex narc is taking me to court tomorrow 🙏🙏🙏 I've been in therapy for over a year from his abuse. TRAUMA & TRAUMATIZED
🙏🏼🙏🏼
I am praying for you to be protected from evil forces by divine intervention in Jesus' name.
Wishing you well tommorow!
Be strong hun!!!! 💕💕💕💕
Fear is your worst enemy now so don’t show any emotion but stick to the facts & you have got this because the truth will out itself! You’re stronger than lies
My 2 favorites! Rebecca is so cute lol. One of my favorite things she ever said was "I hate you, don't leave me. I hate you, don't leave me..."
They’re my two favorites too!!
"I hate you, don't leave me" work for Narcissists, but it also applies to folks with BPD. In fact there is a very good book about Borderlines with that same title, "I hate you don't leave me".
I always feel like I have to walk on eggshells around Narcissus and it's exhausting
I just ordered your book for my lawyer husband! He needs to understand narcissists. I try to tell him the psychology behind these people and he just blows me off so he should listen to you, Rebecca:) Thanks so much! I wonder why law school doesn't teach human behavior psych classes. They really should!
Dr C. collaborations. The art of awareness at its finest.
Thanks, Brad!
Rebecca Zung’s videos were my first source of information about narcissism. I didn’t even know it had a name! And that’s how I began to understand exactly what I was up against. I had seen the overt narcissism. But I was married to the covert/ passive aggressive version. In hindsight it is all clear now. I can now clearly see all the symptoms. And I also understand what transpired in her life to cause it. She told me that she had dealt with the trauma. But this is how she dealt with it. If only I had known ahead of time. It’s probably the one thing that I wasn’t prepared to deal with.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment. My brother is going through this right now and your comment is so helpful. Im so appreciative. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Just finishing a divorce with a narcissist right now, it’s brutal 😢. She seems amazing
Best of luck. Your calm confidence will win the day.
Thank you so much for having me on your great show Dr. Carter! Loved our conversation!
Hey Rebecca!! Great to hear from you, as were many viewers too!! Les
🙏💜🌍💜🌍💜🌍💜🌍💜🌍💜🙏
More than thank you!!! Two wise people who've seen what happens inside family systems where a narcissist is in control of you. She begins with the limbic system and splitting, and you can watch if you wish. She's a former family attorney. He's Dr. C. Thank you both! You don't HAVE to be so empathetic, Dr. C or Rebecca Zung but you were born that way. What a gift.
"...they want to take withdrawals as fast as possible." (10:42 - 10:59) So very true. That's because for extreme narcissists it's all about consumption. The other person...the supply person...is used and abused as a source of supply to feed their insatiable and overinflated egos. (Their self-esteem was deflated and the ego took over.) This is not good, therefore it is evil. There is no gray area between good and evil, so it's either one or the other and since narcissists do not deal in truth, their actions are evil. They are still God's children, but lost in a world controlled by the evil one. It's so entrenched in them that even the ones who worship God and Jesus can't move themselves into a healthy range of functioning.
@lauracoussens6207 Very well said! It breaks my heart that my mother is this way. Evil took advantage of a broken person and my mom kept making poor choices . I always pray for her because she says she is a believer. I hope I will see her again when we are free of this world. Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
So glad Rebecca talked about the Narcissist issue with their lack of brain development.
Its definitely a Mental illness!!
Love that quote, "All you are doing here is educating me". 😅
"lying & denying ... projection & deflection" ...so true!! During our last 3-way conversation with my husband's narcissistic sister she used *ALL* four of these crazy-making tactics on us during a 30 minute conversation. At the time, I didn't realize what she was doing, but NOW I fully understand!
And then we hung up on her once her tone took a drastic change and she became very vicious, and started screaming at me and name calling. It was after that eye-opening conversation, where my husband heard the way she spoke to me, that he decided to go no contact with his sister. For years he just didn't believe that she hated me, but now he gets it. That was almost 2 weeks ago. So we finally have some peace & quiet. We hope to keep things that way :)
EPIC 😢
I think a danger encountered with some narcissists is their belief that revenge is their entitlement. Even if it requires breaking a law. They seem to never have a doubt that evil deeds are the proper response to slights.
So true.
Lots of people go through terrible tragic hard stuff as kids and don't grow up to be monsters. I've seen some come from loving homes with amazing parents and normal non monster siblings. Maybe there's something genetic or physiological.
True. There are always exceptions to generally held beliefs, and no one yet fully understands the exceptions. All anyone seems to know is that many people who suffer childhood abuse have somehow broken the generational cycle of abuse. Examples include the people who are here in the comment section sharing stories and eager to heal.
I always go back to what was happening in those first two years & that’s where the trauma of arrested development began with black or white thinking as well as objectification of external supply… narcs lacked transitional objects to separate & become secure individuals
Or spiritual 😢
When you ask them about things you know they expressed at one time, and they tell you they "don't remember" or "you are wrong" about certain things when I can hear it and see it like it was yesterday. So sad, but true. This stuff is difficult, but necessary I know. No pain, no gain. Thank you, Ms. Rebecca Zung, Dr. C., and Gus.
When she said "They always have to have the final word", that is the truth. An example. Years ago, after my adopted mother's funeral, that happened to me. As the funeral ended, this stranger came up to me and said "You know your mother Really loved you". Her last words through another person. A flying monkey acquaintance of hers. I never met this woman before. First of all, it was very inappropriate for the situation. But as time went on, I really thought about that comment and an alarm went off in my head and I said, "Yeah, I know." And I took off. It was the most bizzare feeling I've ever had.
Ive been studying who this person really was from my past. And have discovered many things I could never really face before. But to me, that comment said it all. Sums it up. Love is a personal matter. Not one to be discussed with a perfect stranger. This was a complete example of a violation of trust between 2 peoples lives. And, today, knowing the real person she truly was, it would have only been discussed because she was putting me down to this woman. Why else would that topic have even come up? At all.I can hear her now. " You know she just has so many problems, but I really love her, anyways." You see, this was her blind side. She thought she was smarter than I was. She was slick, but you can't bs a bser who learned from the best. People, anyone who puts you down or devalues you has no idea who they're dealing with. Because if they did, you wouldn't be going after them. Get every cent you can. They took enough out of you. They have no understanding for you ability to make inferences about their behavior. That's your intuition. Your protection from God.
In terms of growing up with trauma, its not just narcisists that grow up with trauma. The whole world has grown up with trauma, because the world is just beggining to heal and be aware of it. I had a narcisistic parent, and i was the scapegoat, im grateful i have found healing, from it, found safe places to unpack my trauma, safe enough people to listen to me, validate and hold space and empathize with me as a survivor of this type of childhood specially because i lived also 2 years alone with the narc parent. Im grateful people held space for me , empathized with me , validated me as a survivor, and taught me gentleness on myself and healthy boundaries, untill i started applying them and my inner child and true self, came out. Now im the loving parent who loves honors listens protects and speaks up for that inner child and tries to find safe enough connection for my inner child where i will get my needs met , and tries to take my space and share my true self with the world, and chose safe enough people for my circle. Cptsd, / trauma , is something the whole world has / some are in healing from it, and some arent, and some became narcs/ others thankfully kept their empathy , and their sensitivity, and their humanity , and their healing consists, in knowing that they deserve to have selfcompassion, healthy boundaries, and be in relationships where there needs get met.......... We keep healing were worth it. With gentleness humor love and respect, were worth it. God speed we are worth it :)!
Fantastic interview. Empowering and uplifting. I’m two feet in and getting the book. Thanks Dr. C for bringing this guest o to your program 👍👍
I got taken really bad in a divorce from a covert narccisst. I gave up. I had suicidal ideation for 10 years before the divorce. Contempt, smirks, angry faces, smear campaigns, isolation, name calling, and rage wore me down. I left the state. I lost my inheritance. I had complex post traumatic stress disorder with many health problems afterwards. I haven't dated in 6 years after leaving because I have been healing. I had no suicidal ideation since the day I left.
I am on a similar path. My husband claims he didn’t brainwash our sons against me but that’s exactly what happened. When I found I could no longer trust him because he was so cruel towards me it changed my feelings towards him. I distanced myself from him emotionally and that rejection he perceived resulted in parental alienation of me. He would counter the suggestions I made for our kids’ well-being and success, saying they didn’t have to check their assignments or homework, they didn’t have to wait to play video games until they finished their homework or basic chores (putting clothes away, making their beds, walking our beloved dog). Then it got much worse. He would make up mean lyrics to a favorite song of mine and sing it. The kids would also sing it. I was in complete denial because it was all so hurtful. I don’t claim to be perfect or to have behaved perfectly, but no one deserves to be treated the way we have been treated. I kept feeling things couldn’t possibly stay so terrible but I was wrong. In spite of my prolonged attempts not to hurt our family financially by asking for support that any other person in my position would receive, I am the identified patient and the selfish villain. I appreciate your honesty and courage in writing about your experiences. It sounds like you have found at least some peace. Thank you for your inspiration and I’m very sorry for all that you have endured. Now I’ll get back to trying to reinstate my auto insurance that he canceled without my knowing it.
Excellent! Another dream team! Thank you both for this!
Dr. Carter AND REBECCA??? OHHH THIS is going to be a good one as well!!! Thank you both!!!
Hope you like it!
Now I understand why after five-years out of a 22-year-marriage, I still feel wounded and vulnerable. Complex PTSD. Thank-you. I am waiting for the book so I can SLAY the bully. Thank-you, both.
This video couldn't come at a better time. Am dealing with a narc that is trying to bully and harass me financially and have kept proof of it all because now he's trying to threat legal action. Yes I am 10 steps ahead of his BS.
She is so interesting. Mixing psychology with law is very brilliant.❤
Our group Narc Cluster bullies are Boardroom Delegates here in Switzerland. Now under “independent forensic audit” SLAY!!!! ❤️🇨🇭
Two experts in the field of narcissism collaborating! So cool. Will definately buy Rebecca's new book at some point.
You both are my heroes! Rebecca called me back once and I never forgot her kindness!
Rebecca Zung is awesome. She is a warrior for women, LUV HER. Dr. C, you are loved too!!!
Coverts are the worst, I’m once again shedding one right now. They sneak into your life and slowly and subtly go to work on eroding your self esteem.
Address those codependency issues & they’re going to run from you!
@@caroleminke6116 thank you, yes a work in progress.
It's wonderful to have you two together! Thanks! 🤗💞
Great collaboration. Thank you, Les.
You're welcome. I like doing these interviews. We'll be doing more in the future.
Our first Christmas together we had been dating about 3 weeks. He overwhelmed me with great gifts. Things changed drastically after that. I tolerated him for 4 years because he threatened to kill me if I tried to leave him. He ended it 6 months ago and I just quietly walked away. He slammed the door behind me when I left.
Looking back, I now have a lot of insight into my past experiences with narcissists. I worked briefly for a "pro-woman" fitness wear company in Emeryville, CA which should have been re-named Title Narc. I was literally cornered and screamed at by the narc manager over trying to help an injured cat on the property and the owner, a true malignant narcissist, totally backed her up and flipped the script onto me when I reported her. It was an ambush by the two of them. I was promptly fired. This happened time and again to employees there. It was like a tightly controlled cult run by a very angry, power-hungry person and if you weren't a favored flying monkey, you were abused and thrown out.
I loved this conversation so much. You are both Angels who are fighting to save people’s lives! God bless you Rebeca ❤ and dr Carter❤
Two of my favorite people!! Thank you both for your insights and support ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻. I appreciate you!
A friend left her narc husband, he defaulted on their home, ruined both of their credit, fortunately she had bought a small home prior to it.
I just recently had another insight to what made my Mother turn out to be a narcissist. Her Mother, my Grandmother, had expressed deep joy when seeing some others, struggling or shocked or disappointed. Like the time I made a special trip down to see her and to take her out to lunch. And I was going to pay for lunch cuz now I could afford it being out of school and with a job. When I came back from the bathroom she had already paid the bill
which she knew would surprise and disappoint and annoy me. Her laughter from witnessing me in pain was so full of joy and laughter. And same kind of stuff must have happened to her coupled with not enough support and resilience training and talking thru and confrontation.
They simply don’t have any power from within & learn from their narc that it’s a game of getting power over others… no love at all
An illustration of a total lack of empathy. She didn't care about where you were coming from, in fact she mocked it.
So sad to hear that story
That part about the bully, " ...went into bully mode ...pointing finger at me... laid into me... real colors come in...giving way to only one false comment... to love bombing...to gaslighting... to discard to intimidate." The fact of the matter in the end, "... all you are doing is educating me." Now we know ! The light comes to the fore and we can see it! Now take this lesson and move on away from that bully and the potential bullies.
When you say the narcissist wants to remove who you are and fill you up with who they are is something so good to build a strategy on. It is always good to challenge the narcissist even though they won't accept your insights. You tell them the source of their information is questionable. Don't argue but say enough to challenge their thinking and take some of the air out of their balloon.
Spot on regarding: for even just asking the narc a question. They take even this as conflict and they're "offended"..yes, this was the word used yesterday by someone I know who's now been exposed as a
covert narcissist.
Made accusations about me that weren't true and when I asked for examples of how/when that was the case..the mask slipped.
Attacked me further by saying I was
"too sensitive", mind you, this is while she's simultaneously admitting to being "offended".
She also said she was gonna keep being
herself..while simultaneously trying to prevent me from having the freedom to be me,
by trying to shame me as being "too sensitive" and by trying to quash my quest for the truth by asking questions.
She also said the classic "I never said that" line, which we know that this convenient, instantaneous "amnesia", is just another
example of the
"lyin and denyin" tactic of the narc. Lastly, and because I stood my ground, she attempted "the discard", and tried to get rid of me and get me off the phone by asking, "So then what did you call ME for then??"...All of this people, over merely asking a question. I hope this helps anyone else that has experienced a maddening conversation like this, to realize you were dealing with a narc and that the problem is not you, it's them.
You are spot on. They are obnoxious. I’m so tired of these people.
@@GodsChosenMekAmoR Ikr..and you are spot on with the word "obnoxious".
Yes, just so full of themselves, strutting around acting "indignant", when they are the ones in the wrong, not us.
@@marshill3101 🤣🤣🤣I know about it, lol. When you said strutting around, it gave me a flashback and he looked like a fool. The only reason he ever had to strut was when he could mention I'm his wife and the children were respectful and we were fun. Outside of that he has NOTHING. They are so insecure but always yelling and full of rage. Inside like a sick little mutt.
@@GodsChosenMekAmoR Lol. You hit it on the nail! The rage..and the insecurity, which is why even asking a simple question is a threat! From a spiritual perspective they are referred to as having a "Jezebel/narcissist spirit".
Jezebel is a demonic spirit of *control.
That's the other spirit they operate under, along with insecurity, etc.
Check out the book by Steve Sampson, called "Confronting Jezebel: Discerning and Defeating The Spirit of Control".
He gives great insights from a spiritual/Christian perspective and many of the traits he lists that they have are the exact same ones the people in videos like these also list.
I'm about to send a text to "confront" the narc I posted about..for me not her, because we know with the narc, there's little to no chance of them actually owning anything. Lol.
I'm married to some form of narcissistic, possibly covert. He has learned to control his anger, but not for positive reasons, but to make sure his real personality isn't revealed. I could go on, as I'm sure many of you can.
Pivoting your mind, go creation mode! Know what you are dealing with...but most important, deal with yourself. Healing is winning! Thanks Dr. C. for bringing your guest.
Mine was in the workplace and you really do have to take on the bully head to head because when there becomes flying monkeys you will know your bully has inspired a mob mentality.
This is excellent Les and Rebecca.
Listening to Rebecca describe characteristics of narcs was like a rerun of my experiences of past & present coverts to the T. My sister divorced her Covert ex-husband after a 4 1/2 year marriage. He would put me down with his snarky remarks. It was very difficult and made me angry to see what he put my sister through. She was so traumatized that she couldn’t let me hug her! But thank goodness the divorce was in her favor. She’s much better now.
Dr C thank you for bringing back Ms Zung. Both of you are our dynamic duo! 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you to my two favorite life coaches! Congrats on your book! 💖
A intelligent attorney with knowledge and a cool head is a rare brilliant find ..im glad to say my Son found the same in his own madness of divorce and a custody battle.
Wow so good to see both of you engage this topic together!
They WILL absolutely burn the business down to spite their partner. My parents, Malignant Nmom/ vulnerable Edad coddled My elder sister as the Golden Child so extremely, that she became a legit psychopath, who absolutely would kill me if she could get away with it and did destroy my small chain of coffeehouses just to watch me go down with them!
She would burn the city down and her own house with it, just to see me lose something good.
I had to listen twice because there’s so much great info! Thank you, Dr C and Rebecca. Go Team Healthy !
Thank You 🙏🎉
I love how both of your book shelves match up closely together. similar ideas, similar impressions.
thank you for your great information and assistance to survivors !
Rebecca is Amazing! Top Attorney, AND she is knowledgeable, and experienced, with NPD.
God, wish she could have been my lawyer. Family Law in the end, does not consider what these individuals are capable of.
I really like Rebecca the statement you made.. "I was in victim mode and not creation mode".. hope I have this correctly.
On another note... I think back on the times I sort help from a wise source whether it be a counsellor or Psychiatrist.. though I apprepriate their help in some areas they really didn't get to the heart of my confusion and hurts.. I never left feeling or thinking any clearer... it was not until the penny dropped coming out of unhealthy patterns/situations along with coming across individuals that you could say I was left disturbed by... I began to see the light, so many aspects of my life and patterns came to light, lots of things started to click into place in my mind and heart. I am so very grateful I came across Yourself and Dr C, and other great people who are dedicating their time and wisdom.
Yes Dr C... learning to have Respect for yourself is key.
Self respect, self-care, knowing thy self. Some great key ingredients to exude and know the meaning of D.R.C.
Thank you.
Monica. New Zealand.
You two together is a double dose of assurance to qualify the Narcissist early and navigate carefully.
From love bombing to passive aggressive the swings keeps their “prey”
Very off balance. The goal:
Take back control of your space by established healthy
Boundaries!
I greatly admire Rebecca for her work as a super professional lawyer in helping people. I'm not sure if she is a retired lawyer. She still helps people thru her videos and books and talks she gives. 🎉🎉
Born and not made. I am neurotypical and loving and so we’re both of my parents. My sister is a full blown narcissist and has had inverted cruel behaviour since early childhood. My grandfather, aunt and uncle were narcissists. Born and not made. These people absolutely do not think the same. Rebecca does not have this illness in her family so she has not observed it long term.
You two, are the best, at what you do? Thank you Dr. Carter. ❤ ❤
Our pleasure!
I've watched both of you separately in a quest to understand my situation...together you are so wonderful! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I'd love to see the topic of divorcing a narcissist who is starting dementia. In addition to the lies, the lack of empathy and impulsive decisions in dementia are incredible, even dangerous, but there is a whole coterie of flying monkeys to help deny and gaslight.
I love you both sooo much! I freeed myself from someone that was truly toxic for my health! I stopped putting energy in their accusations, I stopped caring who they tried to make hate me for no reason and I completely took care of my mental and physical health and connected back with my family 💕 I feel great so much respect 🧘♀️✨ love and light to both of you
Two great folks in today’s podcast- thanks
We need more of these podcasts with Rebecca.
Two of my very favorite content creators, I love this collab so much 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Thank you for an excellent interview Dr C and Rebecca.. look forward to the book!!
It’s mind boggling, truly.
This was absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for this DR Le's and Rebecca, It's a pleasure to be with great people, You're both an inspiration to me, All I want is these two out of my life, This is my VISION, My other VISION is to have a powerful ally by my side in this, I trust the universe that this will work out, Peace, love and respect to you both and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory praise and smiles to the most high :-)
ohh. Rebecca. Slay is right. She doesn't mess around. Dr. Carter, I have a request. Can you do a video on how to attract or get into relationships with healthy, kind people? I love your videos on dealing with and understanding narcs but I want to try to at some point find a good person to relate to. Most of my life, it's just been narcissists or nothing. thanks you!!!
Dr. C.: Thank you SO much for this video with Rebecca Zung!
You are both incredible and very helpful! 😊😊😊
Thank you.
I love that you two came together! Slay team healthy ✨️ 💪
Excellent interview. Nice to know I am not the only one who has been screwed out of my life and thought processes. It started when I was young with my mom, but the certain other people kept the gaslighting going. The funny thing is when you confront them on it. They play dumb, lie, and threaten you like that is going to fly. I am glad you two are out there fighting the good fight.
Yep. The demon after me turned my entire family against me- they definitely used the “she has a problem” tactic in the beginning, but that was disproven since I’m live every day lol. After that didn’t work they moved to trying to un-alive me. It’s been insane.
Stay safe!
Narc brother in law did the same to me. But my other sister and mum now see the truth. We’re after him now and will expose his evil for everyone to see
They always expose themselves in the end & their end isn’t pretty
SLAY
Dr. C always a great host !
I bought the book early amd read the manuscript. It's fantastic. Rebecca knows her stuff.
Wow the case You...Rebecca Zung...won against the "godfater mother".....makes You an Angel...a true Angel in this material world...!!! God i love people like You to!!!Thank You LC =)
Great show! Thank you! 💜🐾
Glad you enjoyed it!
My precious youngest son had a Narc wife. The custody crap ended in his suicide. This is so bad. Protect your heart
I'm so very sorry.
Wow. Best explanation yet!!!!🎉
Glad it was helpful!
I love Rebecca and follow her on her own channel! ❤️
What a blessing yall are to me. May be going to court soon and this is what I needed. God bless you both in the help you are giving so many!!!!
Thank you Rebecca and Dr Carter. This was wonderful ❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
This has been unbelievably helpful, thank you Dr Carter for having on Rebecca Zung .
Glad it was helpful, Susan.