My biggest 'takeaway' from today's podcast is "learning to be ok with silence". I often respond too quickly without thought. This helps so much. Thanks for the great tip!
haha.. me too. I need to accept that "Silence is needed in communication". I often respond too quickly and enthusiastically. It hurt me in many cases. Pin to mind this!
See closely - it Is A Win to show peace calm. Yes, he says slow down take a breathe, a lot. Posture Mindset shows showmanship self control: it is helpful to show others the posture of peace, calm self control IN WORDS ' better managed. We Do Not have to Get harsh like say abruptly, " I'm deciding, I'm my own Authority for my not calm Feelings." That Collides with Jeff's so far Vids Saying "Do you Want to Improve communication?" So it is truly brain forgetting what We intend to hold true to. Think others will see the shift?
I’m an HR Director and will intentionally use the awkward pause to get interview candidates to start talking . . .the things they tell me that I didn’t ask. . . I could write a book. I’m also a public speaking coach and an APA writing tutor/editor. Your advice is 100% correct regarding ‘uh, um’ and adding fluff words that don’t add meaning to the conversation/writing. When someone is speaking and ends an affirmative statement as a question (uptick in the in the voice at the end), the person doesn’t sound credible or authoritative.
I’m retired, but I still feel like I can use every one of your tips in some situation or other. I can’t pick out one particular topic you covered that I have not errored in. I lead everyone I know your way if they have not heard of you. You’re the best, Jefferson!
You are definitely a godsend to mankind. We need your teachings in class rooms. Starting at the youngest ages and on up! The free information that I have received from your podcast has helped me immensely! I wish I had access to this teaching when I was much younger however I am very grateful to have come upon your shared intelligence at age 72. Communication skills are one of the golden keys to living a better life. Thank you for helping all who are listening to your advice. It’s a gift.
Thanks Jefferson! What some a great practical tips how to communicate more confident: 1. Eliminate fluffy/filler words with silence & breath 2. Using lower tone to end our sentence. 3. Eliminate adverbs “basically, essentially, literally” with straight to the firm word. 4. Ged rid of “Does that make sense?” change with “What are your thought?”, “Do you have feedback/opinion?” 5. Handle difficult question with: I haven’t across run this before, let me check with X, Y, Z” or “I’m confident based on my experience we can do X, Y, Z”
Jefferson, where have you been my whole life!!??? I have been searching for years for the exact content you share! The content you share is so on point, so complete, and so valuable; I can’t thank you enough. Other communication tools and phrases I’ve come across pale in comparison to your content. You definitely have a way with words lol. I can’t say enough about how helpful you have been. Thank you so much!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ I’m sure many, many people feel the same way.
Your great I don't know why it took so long for someone to address our poor language and communication skills I am in customer service for years and it has gotten profoundly worse. Thx for your response to this
Hearing that so much from a parent who uses it, I take it as them just lacking confidence in their explanation and looking for validation from a third party. Often its been the person thinks someone or something did them wrong and is suffering in some way. People can just have different communication styles and phrasing. Dispite how we could project the extra meaning behind what they said, we could just give them the validation by saying yes I understand and its messed up.
Sometimes, I have to ask if that made sense Sylvia because I stutter ,or make a sentence with the words in the wrong order ,I'm confident that nobody thinks the problem is you.
What a thought provoking video! Cultural alignment is also relevant, "Can you pass the salt please" , (is British politeness😅) and Upspeak is very common practice in New Zealand (sounds humble?). I conclude that confidence can be misinterpreted as, "overconfidence " or "rudeness" therefore situational context is everything. Thank you for your guidance, I am learning a lot from your work 🙏.
When I listen to this, it feels like my dear friend is helping me to show up for who I am better. I have never had a mentor friend (I wish I had) so this is like a real gift to me! Thank you for caring and helping as out!
I couldn’t agree more! Confidence really shines when you eliminate fluff, avoid uptalk, and choose your words carefully. I used to get stuck in the "um" trap whenever answering unexpected questions. Once I learned to pause and gather my thoughts, it made a world of difference. It’s funny how often we let filler words sneak in-almost like we’re trying to avoid silence, but that silence can actually make us sound more confident. The Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x taught me how humor plays into confidence too-being comfortable with pauses and silence can really elevate your presence. Keep practicing, and you’ll be unstoppable!
EEK... I use 'I just wanted' all the time. Thank you for the very important feedback! I need to make some changes. Love you, Jefferson. Love your content.
Written down these pointers on my desk and already started using in my professional world! Hearing my recorded meeting does make me sound confident! Thank you!
I truly appreciate listening to and putting these suggestions to use. None of your communication style tips have failed me yet, and the techniques are making me a more active listener. I am getting more proficient in answering and conversing with intent. It makes a huge difference in my life and anxiety level. Thank you.
I am a big big fan of what you do. Words and their use have always been of interest. Even in childhood I would look up words in the dictionary searching for different ways to say things. Your book was ordered the first day it was announced. I think today's tips are even good for family interaction as a way to not be misunderstood. Much appreciation!
So agree… I try to catch myself and get rid of those “ fluff” words. It also makes you sound a little less educated. Even though you maybe very savvy on the subject matter. Again thank you!
This is great! Instead o saying ah well I think blah blah. Instead of opening up your mouth just think about what you want today. They can be the ones uncomfortable with silence!
As a nurse-I would always ask a patient after explaining treatment etc,I would say, “does that make sense?” ….🤣I will be saying, “what are your thoughts on this” …..thanks!
@moearle1 Thanks for being the kind of nurse that asks those things! It shows such humanity and simple basic respect for the person. Would that more people were like you. I applaud your caring ways!
Very interesting. In France we ask for salt with a question mark, thus uptalking - because it IS a question. For statements, people never uptalk here. Must be cultural. I love your videos! They are so helpful! Thank you very much!
I've watched a couple of your videos and have used some of your communication tactics on my brother, a lawyer, and have been amazed by his reactions. I've been able to shut him down ( recently today) using your advice. I'm the youngest of 4 and have been deemed as stupid and insignificant by my family ( even though I was a software developer for 20 years, then went on to become a nurse practitioner later in life). My daughter, an engineer, shares the same issue with communication issues. I pass on your videos to her and feel you can help her professionally. Thank you so much for the advice. Very glad that I found you.
Phew! This is tough! Thank you so much for these tips! I use "fluff" because I get so nervous, especially in front of a lot of people, even if I know most of them.
Thank you Jefferson! Great stuff. I’ve got 2 guys at work that need to listen to this. One always says “I’m just askin’ “ after a question that might be a bit forward. I want to holler That’s exactly what a question is dude! And the other guy says “You know what I’m saying?” after every opinion he blasts out. UGH.
How lucky was I to stumble upon Jefferson on Facebook. Although I have tried to practice being confident in speech/conversations I was never able to put my finger on exact situations. Now I can categorize them by reviewing your clips of advice- the long and the short ones. I am sharing these with friends as well.
you are brilliant, so likeable . it is so apparent that you want to uplift people. I love your videos and shorts. I am truly learning. transforming. your sweet gentle nature comes through. thank you so very much for taking the time to teach us
I am so happy I found it because your tips are gonna be very helpful for me and architectural firm where people possibly repeat the same thing over and over again thank you for creating this
Thank You Senor Jefferson. Your thesis is "spot-on"! Btw four decades (as a Comm. pilot in Bizjet platforms) taught me on "economy of words for maximum of content & intent".
Jefferson- You mentioned “up talk.” I’ve been going crazy the past 5 years not only with “up talk” but also with “vocal fry.” Have you run across that? It’s been a real bone of contention for me. Workshop presenters, interviewers, people being interviewed, podcasters, etc. It’s always a woman, never a man and as soon as I hear it, I am then done listening, regardless of how interested I was in the actual topic.
I find myself saying “um,” or “like” as so many people do. Since listening to you for awhile now, I’m learning (slowly) to pause or take a breath. I’m going to try “What are your thoughts” more!!
Topic suggestion: how do you handle when you and someone else are at an impasse? Where both people do not see either’s point or view and no resolution?
Pre-Order my new book today :) thenextconversation.com
I've already ordered it!
Done! Can’t wait for the release.
How to pre-order for outside US? I live in Dubai
I preordered on Amazon!
My biggest 'takeaway' from today's podcast is "learning to be ok with silence". I often respond too quickly without thought. This helps so much. Thanks for the great tip!
haha.. me too. I need to accept that "Silence is needed in communication". I often respond too quickly and enthusiastically. It hurt me in many cases.
Pin to mind this!
same, i am practicing pausing for a moment before i respond
Getting comfortable with the pause or silence is the best technique ever
Excellent advice and examples - "let your breathe be the first word you say" - LOVE THAT!
See closely - it Is A Win to show peace calm. Yes, he says slow down take a breathe, a lot. Posture Mindset shows showmanship self control: it is helpful to show others the posture of peace, calm self control IN WORDS ' better managed. We Do Not have to Get harsh like say abruptly, " I'm deciding, I'm my own Authority for my not calm Feelings." That Collides with Jeff's so far Vids Saying "Do you Want to Improve communication?" So it is truly brain forgetting what We intend to hold true to. Think others will see the shift?
"Learning to be okay with silence", thank you for helping me communicate better.
Best communication guy ever
Yes!!!🎉🎉🎉😮😮
I agree with that
I’m an HR Director and will intentionally use the awkward pause to get interview candidates to start talking . . .the things they tell me that I didn’t ask. . . I could write a book. I’m also a public speaking coach and an APA writing tutor/editor. Your advice is 100% correct regarding ‘uh, um’ and adding fluff words that don’t add meaning to the conversation/writing. When someone is speaking and ends an affirmative statement as a question (uptick in the in the voice at the end), the person doesn’t sound credible or authoritative.
Awww, our Aussie friends talk with the uptick question ending sound. ❤
Love your gentle confidence. Thank you for giving this gift to us.
I’m retired, but I still feel like I can use every one of your tips in some situation or other. I can’t pick out one particular topic you covered that I have not errored in. I lead everyone I know your way if they have not heard of you. You’re the best, Jefferson!
Thank you Jefferson, at 59 I’m learning to stand my ground in a confident manner. Truly enjoy your content.
EXCELLENT points!! Love this. Thank you and I agree. Thanks for a couple laughs. I dislike fluff, drama and ums.
You are definitely a godsend to mankind. We need your teachings in class rooms. Starting at the youngest ages and on up! The free information that I have received from your podcast has helped me immensely! I wish I had access to this teaching when I was much younger however I am very grateful to have come upon your shared intelligence at age 72. Communication skills are one of the golden keys to living a better life. Thank you for helping all who are listening to your advice. It’s a gift.
Couldn't have put it any better 😊
Thanks Jefferson! What some a great practical tips how to communicate more confident:
1. Eliminate fluffy/filler words with silence & breath
2. Using lower tone to end our sentence.
3. Eliminate adverbs “basically, essentially, literally” with straight to the firm word.
4. Ged rid of “Does that make sense?” change with “What are your thought?”, “Do you have feedback/opinion?”
5. Handle difficult question with: I haven’t across run this before, let me check with X, Y, Z” or “I’m confident based on my experience we can do X, Y, Z”
Jefferson, where have you been my whole life!!??? I have been searching for years for the exact content you share! The content you share is so on point, so complete, and so valuable; I can’t thank you enough. Other communication tools and phrases I’ve come across pale in comparison to your content. You definitely have a way with words lol. I can’t say enough about how helpful you have been. Thank you so much!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ I’m sure many, many people feel the same way.
Your great I don't know why it took so long for someone to address our poor language and communication skills I am in customer service for years and it has gotten profoundly worse. Thx for your response to this
Jefferson- you’re brilliant! I’m grateful for your honest & relatable content.
I hate it when others ask, "Does that make sense?" Feels demeaning. Jefferson, your content is always so helpful. Thank you!
Hearing that so much from a parent who uses it, I take it as them just lacking confidence in their explanation and looking for validation from a third party. Often its been the person thinks someone or something did them wrong and is suffering in some way. People can just have different communication styles and phrasing. Dispite how we could project the extra meaning behind what they said, we could just give them the validation by saying yes I understand and its messed up.
Sometimes, I have to ask if that made sense Sylvia because I stutter ,or make a sentence with the words in the wrong order ,I'm confident that nobody thinks the problem is you.
Like always Jefferson, great advice, I'll try to incorporate what you say as I learn.
What a thought provoking video! Cultural alignment is also relevant, "Can you pass the salt please" , (is British politeness😅) and Upspeak is very common practice in New Zealand (sounds humble?). I conclude that confidence can be misinterpreted as, "overconfidence " or "rudeness" therefore situational context is everything. Thank you for your guidance, I am learning a lot from your work 🙏.
Topic suggestion: How to speak/handle “know-it-alls”?
When I listen to this, it feels like my dear friend is helping me to show up for who I am better. I have never had a mentor friend (I wish I had) so this is like a real gift to me! Thank you for caring and helping as out!
I couldn’t agree more! Confidence really shines when you eliminate fluff, avoid uptalk, and choose your words carefully. I used to get stuck in the "um" trap whenever answering unexpected questions. Once I learned to pause and gather my thoughts, it made a world of difference.
It’s funny how often we let filler words sneak in-almost like we’re trying to avoid silence, but that silence can actually make us sound more confident. The Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x taught me how humor plays into confidence too-being comfortable with pauses and silence can really elevate your presence. Keep practicing, and you’ll be unstoppable!
You are absolutely the best instructor.
This podcast is so full of practical examples! Thanks!
EEK... I use 'I just wanted' all the time. Thank you for the very important feedback! I need to make some changes. Love you, Jefferson. Love your content.
This is great! I'm a call center supervisor for an insurance company and shared with my team, thank you!
Once again, you hit the JACKPOT ! Take a breath ! No more "does that make sense?"
Written down these pointers on my desk and already started using in my professional world! Hearing my recorded meeting does make me sound confident! Thank you!
Thank you another helpful episode!!
😊
From today on, I will strive to deliver myself to others like a package with a bow on top! 🤩
Thank you! Not only am I increasing my English vocabulary but also learning to speak it properly and more confidently. Gracias❤
I'm slowly falling in love with your channel.
Such a gift to our world. Best communication advice! Love your content 😊
Great topic and valuable info ! Thanks
Thank you!🙏🏽
Any time!
Of course, I love listening to you!
Thank you very much for your useful tips
Great points ! Thank you , Jefferson ! You are making a huge difference in the lives of people who were / told not good at communication.
Jefferson you are brilliant you've certainly helped boost my confidence
Thank you Jefferson, for great tips!
Excellent advice; this will be helpful in my upcoming job interview.
Essentially, I just literally love this video.
I truly appreciate listening to and putting these suggestions to use. None of your communication style tips have failed me yet, and the techniques are making me a more active listener. I am getting more proficient in answering and conversing with intent. It makes a huge difference in my life and anxiety level. Thank you.
Thank you, and as always, I feel I've learned some excellent tips from your video.
Lovr your strong talk no ice diluting the message!
I am a big big fan of what you do. Words and their use have always been of interest. Even in childhood I would look up words in the dictionary searching for different ways to say things. Your book was ordered the first day it was announced. I think today's tips are even good for family interaction as a way to not be misunderstood. Much appreciation!
Since I found your channel I'm getting smarter everyday. Watching from Canada😁
All the advice spot on, thanks for sharing!
So agree… I try to catch myself and get rid of those “ fluff” words. It also makes you sound a little less educated. Even though you maybe very savvy on the subject matter. Again thank you!
Thank you, Jefferson.
Thank you.
God bless you
Jefferson, you are helping me so much. Thank you
Thank you Jefferson,very helpful content🙏🏻
Excellent content, thank you Jefferson!
I speak to each person, according to what I am dealing with...all intentional..❤
Fun video...confidence is everything.
Thank you! This was great and useful advice!
Brilliant! I am going to implement these at work.
This is great! Instead o saying ah well I think blah blah. Instead of opening up your mouth just think about what you want today. They can be the ones uncomfortable with silence!
You’re the best. I found you with Mel.
I love this!! ❤👏👏🙌 Thank you Jefferson 🙏
Sir, asides from the invaluable lessons I get from you, I enjoy this thing you do; and that is the constant movement of your camera. It's interesting.
Good tips! Love it!!
Great advice on ways to be and sound more confident. Thanks for the coaching Jefferson!
Amazing lesson. Thank you.
As a nurse-I would always ask a patient after explaining treatment etc,I would say, “does that make sense?” ….🤣I will be saying, “what are your thoughts on this” …..thanks!
@moearle1 Thanks for being the kind of nurse that asks those things! It shows such humanity and simple basic respect for the person. Would that more people were like you. I applaud your caring ways!
Very interesting. In France we ask for salt with a question mark, thus uptalking - because it IS a question. For statements, people never uptalk here. Must be cultural.
I love your videos! They are so helpful! Thank you very much!
Always amazed, thank you for all the contents that are changing our conversations and our lives for the better🙏
I love your content! Very helpful ! Straight to point ! English is my second language and your tips are helping me alot
“Does that make sense, you poor pitiful mind you?” Lol 😂 you crack me up!
Thank you for all of the great advice!! Good work!
I've watched a couple of your videos and have used some of your communication tactics on my brother, a lawyer, and have been amazed by his reactions. I've been able to shut him down ( recently today) using your advice. I'm the youngest of 4 and have been deemed as stupid and insignificant by my family ( even though I was a software developer for 20 years, then went on to become a nurse practitioner later in life). My daughter, an engineer, shares the same issue with communication issues. I pass on your videos to her and feel you can help her professionally. Thank you so much for the advice. Very glad that I found you.
Phew! This is tough! Thank you so much for these tips! I use "fluff" because I get so nervous, especially in front of a lot of people, even if I know most of them.
you have been so helpful to my communication skills. Please continue with more of this content. Thank you!
I literally love this stuff. He explained everything so well like, you know, kind of like a boss. Does that makes sense?
Thank u for sharing such great advice and tips. 👍
Great points Jefferson your awesome brilliant communication skills so simple yet so effective ❤
Great episode! I know I use 'just' too much but have found it so difficult to drop!
Great podcast Jefferson ! Can't wait for your book to available in Australia :)
Thank you. The book is available for pre-order in Australia right now :)
www.jeffersonfisher.com/book#editions
Thank you Jefferson! Great stuff. I’ve got 2 guys at work that need to listen to this. One always says “I’m just askin’ “ after a question that might be a bit forward. I want to holler That’s exactly what a question is dude! And the other guy says “You know what I’m saying?” after every opinion he blasts out. UGH.
Loved it❤, very hopeful. On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a 10. Thanks for sharing!
Wise words. Less is more ~ for speaking.
Jefferson, I love your podcast, and I "JUST" ordered your book!
How lucky was I to stumble upon Jefferson on Facebook. Although I have tried to practice being confident in speech/conversations I was never able to put my finger on exact situations. Now I can categorize them by reviewing your clips of advice- the long and the short ones. I am sharing these with friends as well.
Thank you....being involved in conversations rich in Uh and Um drive me crazy!!
Awesome advice. Greetings from Pretoria, South Africa 🇿🇦
Newbie to your podcast here, Jefferson, but thoroughly loving them, and have learned so much already! Thank you for your brilliant advice.😊
you are brilliant, so likeable . it is so apparent that you want to uplift people. I love your videos and shorts. I am truly learning. transforming. your sweet gentle nature comes through. thank you so very much for taking the time to teach us
Thank you!! I needed this!
You have greatly helped me. Thank you !!!!
I love your top 7 phrases to stand your ground, nicely done.
I am so happy I found it because your tips are gonna be very helpful for me and architectural firm where people possibly repeat the same thing over and over again thank you for creating this
100% appreciate the education. ❤
Thank You Senor Jefferson. Your thesis is "spot-on"!
Btw four decades (as a Comm. pilot in Bizjet platforms) taught me on "economy of words
for maximum of content & intent".
Thank you for sharing ❤
Excellent advice!!👌👍🙏 Suggestion for new topic: how to handle/respond to someone who dismisses you.
Great and useful tips! Thanks Jefferson.
Sir I love watching your videos it helpe alot and boost my confidence. Thank you so much from Philippines
Always love your content. It helps me so much.
i ordered your book, can’t wait🤗
Jefferson- You mentioned “up talk.” I’ve been going crazy the past 5 years not only with “up talk” but also with “vocal fry.” Have you run across that? It’s been a real bone of contention for me. Workshop presenters, interviewers, people being interviewed, podcasters, etc. It’s always a woman, never a man and as soon as I hear it, I am then done listening, regardless of how interested I was in the actual topic.
Incredible tips! Thank you!
I find myself saying “um,” or “like” as so many people do. Since listening to you for awhile now, I’m learning (slowly) to pause or take a breath.
I’m going to try “What are your thoughts” more!!
Topic suggestion: how do you handle when you and someone else are at an impasse? Where both people do not see either’s point or view and no resolution?