Richard Grannon and Darren F Magee: Narcissists and Social Media

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  • Опубліковано 23 сер 2024
  • Richard Grannon and I discuss, among other things, the nature of narcissistic personality and social media.
    Check out Richard's channel for some really good information on narcissism, recovery from narcissistic abuse and interesting conversations with interesting people.
    If you find this video interesting please consider supporting me on either Patreon or Substack
    / dfmagee
    darrenfmagee.s...
    #narcissism #socialmedia #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder

КОМЕНТАРІ • 63

  • @einstein63
    @einstein63 Місяць тому +34

    Don't be ridiculous Darren....you are an absolute treasure. Your voice is so calming and reassuring.

  • @LR-yu3mx
    @LR-yu3mx Місяць тому +20

    Two therapists I admire and always listen to

  • @terrylynndelman
    @terrylynndelman Місяць тому +25

    I appreciate this guest, he understands betrayal trauma & his videos have helped me. Good conversation.

  • @mollydooker9636
    @mollydooker9636 Місяць тому +8

    I love Darren's call a spade a spade language. My personal favourite is his description of a covert narcisist 'They wet the bed and then blame the blanket' . I find Darren"s channel has incredibly useful advice. Thanks Darren and Richard.

  • @camdogtaek
    @camdogtaek Місяць тому +19

    Appreciate your work in the psychology realm sir. Enjoyed this discussion, society definitely needs more of this.

  • @prant8998
    @prant8998 Місяць тому +10

    Magee, sooo good. “It’s what others think of you." “Validation,” a word brought up over and over, and for the narcissistic partner, so easily manipulated. The victim craves it, and the narcissist withholds it, but not all the time. It’s given out in tiny amounts, and is the essence of the intermittent reinforcement that keeps the victim in the relationship and gives them hope. The victim spends a lot of time trying to please, walking on eggshells, trying to GET love. The narcissist partner knows this, and dangles the carrot out there in front of the victims face only to jerk it away if the victim gets too happy. For me, this happened often, and I believe there was a level of intentional meanness, even sadistic pleasure that the narc got out of disappointing their partner. The narc feels powerful denigrating, and being a bully. This lack of empathy is the psychotic aspect of these relationships.

  • @katherinenikolich5731
    @katherinenikolich5731 Місяць тому +5

    Woo Hoo !
    Two out of my three favourite identities speaking about the Narcissist/ Codependent dynamic.
    A round table with Dr Romani would be excellent !!

  • @darrynreid4500
    @darrynreid4500 14 днів тому +1

    I'm very grateful for having a safe space to talk about difficult or intimate things. It's at home, with my wife. It's not TikTok.

  • @brendarudman8806
    @brendarudman8806 Місяць тому +6

    "I want you to feel what I felt" 🎉

  • @4Beats4Me
    @4Beats4Me Місяць тому +3

    My two favorite sources on life changing subjects! I am eating this up. Please do this again soon!

  • @Querier-kate
    @Querier-kate День тому +1

    To quote Judith Herman "Remembering and telling the truth about terrible events are
    prerequisites both for the restoration of the social order and for the healing of individual victims." (Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror). Prior to moving on, this seems to be necessary - it was for me anyway.

  • @jessicagrace2817
    @jessicagrace2817 Місяць тому +4

    You guys are too funny...telling it like it is with dating apps

  • @CarolaSiegel
    @CarolaSiegel Місяць тому +5

    Sounds like you had a good time talking together. I certainly did, spent an interesting and entertaining hour listening to you.

  • @winter-qd4yw
    @winter-qd4yw Місяць тому +2

    Good interview! Thank you! Do spit on in regards to what I have experienced.

  • @cnhsugarr
    @cnhsugarr Місяць тому +3

    Fantastic conversation!

  • @marilynminer677
    @marilynminer677 Місяць тому +9

    How salient to American politics is this

  • @gaillowrie9779
    @gaillowrie9779 Місяць тому +2

    Yous two are brilliant

  • @victoriavitoroulis3273
    @victoriavitoroulis3273 Місяць тому +3

    Luv these two ❤

  • @yellowdayz1800
    @yellowdayz1800 Місяць тому +3

    The guys we SHOULD have married! Lol ❤

  • @pebblebrookbooks4852
    @pebblebrookbooks4852 Місяць тому +1

    Great collab y'all!! 🤩🤩

  • @yellowdayz1800
    @yellowdayz1800 Місяць тому +2

    ❤❤❤

  • @4Beats4Me
    @4Beats4Me Місяць тому

    Without standards, no educational process. And no qualified professionals- vis a vis: my broken arm stil broken a year and a half later. The road to prayer.

  • @andrewbell5631
    @andrewbell5631 Місяць тому +4

    Darren…….if a narcissist befriends another narcissist as a new “ bestie mate “ does this lead to a proper founded relationship

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 Місяць тому +2

      Trust me when i say two or more narcissists together in the same room they'll just explode on each other because they don't like being told what to do and think themselves but will keep trying to tell each other what to do and think. They will keep trying to one up each other being far too competitive with each other, and then end up hurting each other by using each other to discard each other. This is how damaged they are that there's no forming relationships even with people with the same condition it's absolutely impossible for anybody.

    • @hiraijo1582
      @hiraijo1582 24 дні тому

      @@Harteo3917 Meiner Erfahrung nach kann es jahrelang funktionieren solange sie genug Feindbilder oder Opfer ausserhalb der Beziehung haben, die sie benutzen und ausbeuten können. Nur wenn da niemand mehr ist, fallen sie übereinander her.

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 23 дні тому +1

      @hiraijo1582 I think that's always going to happen in the end though because eventually word gets around when they've hurt too many people and nobody trusts them. I rarely see them date other narcissists though because if one ends up worse than the other it leads to an ego death and they do everything to stop that happening.

  • @danitapearson4075
    @danitapearson4075 Місяць тому +3

    @ 10:25 true! There is not a certain amount of time to give, how many opportunities to give for things to turn around. Lol 201st time will do it - nope 😂. Also true we seek justice, for them to understand the pain and hurt and admit/ take accountability but that is not in them or it would not have gone on as long as it had.

  • @elevenhorses
    @elevenhorses Місяць тому +6

    Thanks for talking sense to Richard who has long been wavering between both sides , becuz he just wants to end up where the winners r. Winners r the ones w enough courage & sense not to choose to embody & promote narcissism.

  • @g.m.5590
    @g.m.5590 Місяць тому +1

    32:26

  • @jasonsilverberg3170
    @jasonsilverberg3170 Місяць тому +1

    Richard's into older men in white shirts!

  • @4Beats4Me
    @4Beats4Me Місяць тому +1

    You should be an old school educator in the 'I turned up' culture. And the ridicule of asking what can be the trouble....?!

  • @brendarudman8806
    @brendarudman8806 Місяць тому +4

    Please give more examples of how you too were at the receiving end of toxic trait abuse,Darren
    I have a big problem with my sibling- he interrupts when i talk,then accuses me of doing it😮,walks out while I talk then excuses himself by saying ,"I cant stand all day and listen to you"
    He talks over me
    I am sure he is a narcissist with defiant personality
    When i ask him to give my till slip,he has excuses,when i ask him not to do stuff he does it
    He makes me out to be the problem,tells me to "just keep quiet"!

    • @mirandajsummers
      @mirandajsummers Місяць тому +2

      Sounds a carbon copy of my sibling. Put up with it for 56 years then finally went no contact. If your brother is a narcissist, he will not change, and you will never ever win an argument. I'm not saying do what I did, but just understand that you (or anyone else) will never have a good relationship with him.
      I'm so sorry to hear your story and wish you all the best.

    • @brendarudman8806
      @brendarudman8806 Місяць тому +2

      @@mirandajsummers Thank you so much🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹I wish I could get away but I became disabled in 2020 so I'm dependent on him🥹🥲Let me tell you this- narcissists hate sick people.They neglect them.He often told me I'm a liability and I'm putting on a show when I cry
      I can't believe people like this exist
      I am so sorry I got a brother like this
      Thanks again🌹🌹🌹

    • @mirandajsummers
      @mirandajsummers Місяць тому +3

      @brendarudman8806 so sorry to hear that. Are you in the US or UK? If UK, I'm pretty sure you can get benefits to be able to live independently.

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 Місяць тому +4

      Sounds like my brother where i can't even talk to him or around him without him taking everything i or anyone else says completely wrong even when we weren't even talking to him. So we can't have conversations while he's in the same room. Nothing you say will make a difference because apparently we're always talking about something different than he is even when we were the ones that started the conversation first it doesn't matter, you'll end up in a very bad fight with them almost instantly.
      But honestly it's because we can't even talk to the parents about anything who pretend to want to listen and then don't making it like what we're saying is stupid or irrelevant. I can talk to them only about a very small select things or asking very simple questions but anything else it's like "oh no i don't want to talk i'm too tired" but they're always tired. Anything deeper they definitely don't want to hear it. This sort of thing is going to make at least one sibling very narcissistic.

    • @mirandajsummers
      @mirandajsummers Місяць тому +4

      @Harteo3917 yep, my parents the same. They never allowed their children to be heard. Not properly. I pretty much had to teach myself how to 'do life' and f*cked up a lot of the time.

  • @pebblebrookbooks4852
    @pebblebrookbooks4852 Місяць тому +2

    Who you calling a middle age winge bag? 😜

  • @ambergrace8064
    @ambergrace8064 Місяць тому +6

    What's missing in this conversation is how patriarchy and systems of oppression affect the creation of these personalities. Hope everyone gets to read "Men, Masculinity and Love" by Bell Hooks. Patriarchy traumatizes boys and breeds narcissism and abusive behaviors in men.

    • @g.m.5590
      @g.m.5590 Місяць тому +2

      Well if we are going to be specific then we should add the Tyrannical Matriarchy aspect to what's infecting our society... I would argue, if you like, the feminists have a monopoly on Narcissism and abuse currently that goes unchecked.

    • @Loveispatient76
      @Loveispatient76 Місяць тому +1

      the narcissism in men won’t allow them to believe that most men are narcissists…. Now how narcissistic is that?

    • @language-n-learning
      @language-n-learning Місяць тому +4

      I've studied narcissism for more than a decade. The vast majority of UA-camrs and commenters complain about female narcissists, especially their mothers. "Patriarchy theory" is nonsense. It's men that build and maintain society and sacrifice their health and lives in doing so.

    • @language-n-learning
      @language-n-learning Місяць тому +4

      @@Loveispatient76 Your statement is highly erroneous and toxic.

    • @mollydooker9636
      @mollydooker9636 Місяць тому +2

      Thanks for the reference, i may look it up. I'm sure the male dominated society is involved but given all the statistics suggesting narcism is on the rise I honestly feel something else is really driving this ie social media.

  • @catupart
    @catupart Місяць тому +1

    Are you single Darren?

  • @merrill5780
    @merrill5780 Місяць тому +8

    I get alarms going off here, not sure why. Anyone ??

    • @narcissismcptsdperseveranc9037
      @narcissismcptsdperseveranc9037 Місяць тому +4

      HYPOTHESIS: A covert narcissist and a willing proxy engaging in passive aggressive communication (dog whistle'n) to an anticipated audience member ("target").

    • @bandieboo8102
      @bandieboo8102 Місяць тому +4

      Your intuition is spot on...

    • @m0L3ify
      @m0L3ify Місяць тому +8

      Richard has been a part of the extreme alt-right crowd for awhile now, so yeah, major alarm bells going off for me here. The last video of his I watched as I was going down the rabbit hole to figure out why he'd changed was of him giving a lecture to an alt-right group, using psychology and Jungian philosophy to teach them how to abuse women. And this was long after he gaslit his audience by telling them if they didn't want to pay $500 for his Inner Critic course, it was because their Inner Critic was telling them they weren't worthy enough to take it. So....I honestly don't understand why Darren agreed to interview with him except that he doesn't know who Richard is.

    • @prant8998
      @prant8998 Місяць тому +6

      @@m0L3ify Richard, looks like he’s from central casting for alt-right. The close cropped haircut on the sides. He is, at least, in an analytical sense, empathetic with a nuanced vocabulary. The trouble is, when you look like that you have to be aware of how others may take you, and of course, push the alternative narrative of who he really is, which is altruistic and empathetic. Is the world white like him, (and I)? We have a white male privilege and it's important that we acknowledge it. As for his participation in right wing stuff, I did not know that, and I find it a bit sad. Who knows what these guys, (and women), are like in real life? They make their money, (living), on UA-cam, so there is a marketing aspect there. Magee, on the other hand, could be my best friend!

    • @Harteo3917
      @Harteo3917 Місяць тому +2

      Yeah i'm getting a bit of a weird feeling too, too much psychology terminology and i feel like he's mostly just saying things because i just feel a big disconnect between him and the things he's saying, he has his own mental health issues too and got a good therapist in the last 6 or so months so i feel like he's also learning things for himself too.
      I mean he said he went through a narcissistic relationship himself but he's not a qualified psychologist mainly he just studies it and he knows about it because he went through it and i guess that does make him qualified in his own right in the subject, but the rest is a lot more speculative. Gotta be careful on all the things that actually make zero sense and matches nothing though, and i think it's why i only like the couple of videos that are well thought out he does seem to know what he's saying there and it checks out because of things i've learned myself about the handful of things mental health and psychology
      It's always weird it's steeped in worship with youtubers though which i don't do anymore any celebrities or internet well known because i finally got too burnt with all that with some famous celebs so i learned not to get roped into that and it's helped me look at things as they are, even if i have the odd moment nah i'm here to enjoy myself or to learn something not to worship and you can make the choice not to if you don't want that either. Just takes what's useful and ignore the rest you can and are allowed to do that.

  • @narcissismcptsdperseveranc9037
    @narcissismcptsdperseveranc9037 Місяць тому +4

    He has claimed he's healed, so why are you enabling his covert narcissism ??? You know his background, so why do you think he's not actively engaging in covert narcissism (for years) ???