Cultures struggle with this all the time, especially rigid cultures. Look at the number of cases of parental infanticide on their ADULT daughters, and SEVERAL cases in Canada of killing not only the daughter, but ANY family female that helped her get away. In other cultures, taking your children out is the ultimate F You to the husband, denying him his "legacy' written in religious law.
So many spouses going through a separation let their hatred of their ex outweighs their love for their children. This is obviously the most extreme of cases, but it shows up in less violent ways.
I have a mother like Christy. From the sounds of it, similar to my mother, she mostly loves having lives/ppl she feels she can control more than anything else. She loves the attention being a "good mom" brings her on social media & in conversation. They never tell YOU (their own child) they cherish you above all else - they only say that kind of thing to strangers in order to inflate their own social image & get praise.
Kristina I understand. That was my mother too. Plus physical abuse. As a child I would ease drop on her conversations, not to glean gossip, to hear her positive feelings about me. At 16 years old I was able to petition the court and lived independently (with court supervision) at 16 years old. I loved the freedom of getting away from the rollercoaster of emotions and walking through life on my own responsible path. Ironically, my mother still bragged about my successes as family members kept her up to date on my progress (she was legally not allowed to know where I lived/approach me). I had an Amazing Social Worker❣️❣️❣️ Sometimes the system does work. 😁
@@MegOtto4268 So good the system worked for you & thank you for sharing ❤ I now work in the mental health & substance use disorder fields. I feel very fortunate to be able to serve others who might be in a worse position than I was in or those who might not understand that there is help available. Once again, I appreciate you sharing - thanks so much.
its an inwardly expression that manifest itself outwardly of the rejection felt .unresolved unwanted not loved .terrible place to be .perhaps. coupled with medication giving in, To a false sense of reasoning
i think people who do this kind of thing don't even realize that their children are actual individuals with their own lives... i don't know if it's npd or something else, but i would guess they see the kids as playthings to be manipulated and when they kill them, to them it feels like they've just broken the favourite possession of the person they want to hurt
That’s exactly why after I split with my ex, I moved across the country and limited all contact to be solely through my lawyer. I had a gut feeling I was going to end up dead that just kept getting stronger and I listened to it. My life and my mental health have greatly improved since leaving that toxicity.
@@SinisterScoundrel6562 Excellent strategy. I blame Disney for all the people who are hardwired to believe they need to be in a relationship - no matter what the quality - for life to have meaning.
*I also have difficulty grasping how anyone can hurt or kill others, **_especially_** their own children! She should **_never_** have been allowed a gun, period!*
When my husband left me for another women, I thought my life was over. It was my 2 children that kept me going. Looking and loving them was what got me over the grief...
I wish more people understood this. And the more you go back and the longer you stay the harder it is to get out. She might have been mental but she knew right from wrong and even premeditated it bc she had the gun hidden right next to her. She was a nasty woman and I hope the husband has found peace and love again. It would be hard to move on from a tragedy like that. I think I'd rather be dead than live without my child.
@@dontdiscriminatehateeveryo9263 you are right. yea me too. Actually I said same thing in another cm but from a daughter pov. Unfortunately sometimes people take pitty on the toxic people or they doubt their judgement or they are being gaslighted or whatever and it's not their fault I wish all the people in toxic rels can find their way and be safe.
@@dontdiscriminatehateeveryo9263 the guy was an idiot, he kept breaking up with his wife 7 times, thats not normal. he even escalated things further by telling her to point the gun on herself causing her to shoot their kids. if he really cared about his daughters let alone his wife he wouldn't have insulted her, plus, he would have went up to her himself to stop her parents sacrifice for their kids and family, he was a coward.
The part about the husband telling her to use the gun on herself reminds me of another case. A young man's girlfriend broke up with him and the guy couldn't get over the loss. He was despondent. I don't remember the name or exact details, but he was hanging out with his brother and maybe his brother's wife one day, crying again about the breakup, saying he wanted to die because couldn't live without her, etc. His brother, in a horrible moment of exasperation, gave him a shotgun and said fine, go ahead if you really mean it (intending to prove he didn't actually want to die so he could finally start moving on.) But his brother actually shot and killed himself right then an there. The 911 call is one of the saddest and most disturbing I've ever heard. I had to stop listening to true crime related media for a long time after that.
It is hard work listening to true crime media for sure. In this case more so since Christie already had inherited a weapon while she was continuing to demand from everyone the right to use it too and so I am not so sure that if Jason refrained from making that comment that it would have saved their lives. Would have been much better for everyone if Jason had found some way to render the weapon in her possession useless and if he left Christie with their children and then if he did his best to help limit the time that she spent with their children no matter what it took for him to do so.
@@francesbernard2445 What way could he possibly have found that would render the gun useless? Magic spell? Blast heat rays from his eyes that melted it?
the one thing that bothered me is how you covered the father's reaction - 'he may have thought the best option was just to flee' ... in other articles and videos i saw on this, the father was heard on the 911 desperately begging christy to shoot him instead, and when she started shooting, he was guiding his daughters out. he went back and forth between the daughters' bodies (witnessed by neighbor who was calling 911) trying to save them and again, beg christy for mercy i was surprised by your reporting on the father because i always had thought he was very valiant and tried so hard to save his daughters
@@HimanshuGupta-nt6kl yes and I just went back to listen to the 911 call placed by the neighbor who basically witnessed the entire shooting that happened - he said there was a male (the father) trying to help the 2 daughters who were laying on the ground and both alive at that point. when christy came out with more bullets he was arguing with her, trying to stop her, but she shot the 2 daughters dead. as even dr grande pointed out, christy had chances to shoot her husband, but she was deliberate in only shooting the daughters. it doesnt mean that her husband hadn't put himself in danger (imo he did) to try and save his children
Huh? He ditched them. He should have at least tried to get the gun away from her instead of screaming like a girl and letting her hunt BOTH her kids down!
@@lyjwb8 No he didn't lol if someone is trying to shoot your kids you dont "argue", you attack, especially when you're much bigger than the aggressor. She literally walked up to both her kids and shot them AGAIN point blank range with no resistance from him.
It's possible Christy threatened suicide many times in a melodramatic and manipulative fashion. Her husband may have been expecting that and been sick of the histrionics and become sarcastic. I had a messed up mother and after years of scenes I just got jaded.
Same here. My Mom would threaten it often and after years of being constantly worried and babysitting her I became jaded too. It's sad but it'ss kind of bound to happen when suicide is used as a threat (the becoming jaded part I mean).
Doctor Grande, I know you're channel has evolved more toward analyses of these kinds of case stories-and they are very interesting-but I'm wondering if you'd be willing to do a special episode one day about de-escalation of potentially dangerous / deadly situations. For example, if Jason could not have closed the gap between himself and Christy and had to use conversation only, what would have been better things for him to say? Or how can one recognise when a situation like this has already gone past conversation and it's time to either fight or run? As always, thanks so much for your videos and your diligent work each day!
I miss the old pyschological content, I wish he would at least sprinkle in maybe like 1 per week but he's completely focused on true crime and jokes now because that's what brings in views. The unnecessary sponsorships are evidence for that too. I don't hate his new content I just wish he would use his psychology education for actual psychology content which actually helps people instead of just mildly entertaining them At least his back catalogue is still there so maybe try to watch the old videos
@@rishaa682 Some of his older content may be helpful there. He had done many videos back in the earlies on Narcissism, how to spot a narcissist, how to avoid 'toxic' relationships, and so on.
I agree. I never heard about this case before. My hands are actually shaking as I type this comment. I didn't expect the horrific ending especially from a female. I think I've reviewed enough murder cases for awhile.
I truly don’t know how you go on after something like that. That poor man. Also the fiancé whose bride was killed by her mother 3 days before they were going to marry. She destroyed so many lives.
The worst one I know about is of a hippie dude I read about put a live Nazi grenade his father brought home from the war down the back of the pants of this older loser who stole his high school sweetheart a some clandestine rave. The older loser lived but without his legs and penis. And the hippie dude got off practically Scot free because he had been tripping on LSD at the rave and was in acute emotional distress during the commission of the crime, the court found. He went onto marry his high school sweetheart 2 years later. True story.
From my personal experience of dealing with major depression, anxiety and PTSD, I can say that at times, every day is a battle to live. I've worked hard to find joy with counseling, medication and other treatments to moderate its tyranny on me. Sometimes, every hour is a struggle not to end my pain and I hide it as best I can. Normal" people don't get it. Please show compassion and thank you Dr G, for your insights.
I suffer from those same things and do feel compassion for others going through the same, like you for example Chris. But I don’t feel compassion for Christy. I think what she did was rooted in her personality more than her mental illness. So many of us suffer with mental illness and never hurt another person.
@@staceylili6703 Me neither, anything short of being totally psychotic won't get an ounce of empathy from me in such a case. I hope there's a hell for this woman to burn in.
Apart from the drinking this sounds like my ex-wife. I tried to accommodate her lows but I couldn't tolerate the aggression towards the children when she was angry at me for whatever reason she'd concocted while I was away at work or in class. She disappeared and then showed up at the children's schools to pull them out mid-day. The teachers stated that she was belligerent and that they didn't feel comfortable releasing the children to her. I applied for emergency custody and divorced her. The court granted me custody but insisted on giving her visitation despite documented mental health issues. The court agreement forbade from me from asking them anything about their visitations with their mother. When I spoke to a social worker at childrens protective services about my belief that the mother was abusing the children I was advised that if the a case of abuse was substantiated the children would be removed from both of our care because I failed to prevent the abuse. Due to shared legal custody i required her permission to have the children see therapists. She told me and the children she was "afraid of what they might say about me" in therapy.The children told me as adults that she continued to abuse them while in her care. If I'd allowed the children to live with her I'm sure it would have been much worse. If you can't convince your spouse to seek help you have to leave them for the sake of the children.
How the hell are you supposed to prevent it if there's a court order for unsupervised visitation? And how can the court legally prevent you about asking your children about what happens to them on a visit?
This is so crazy ...iv been depressed and I have anxiety but I would never hurt my babies this story blows my mind I can't understand how someone could do that
Christy sounds like she had Bi-Polar disorder. I lived with someone who had that and they were not medicating. It was awful. Something as simple as a burned out light bulb can set them off. Although Christy`s eyes are beautiful, there is a "not all there" look to them.
Murdering your own children in cold blood isn't , mental illness it's premeditatited murder she deserves the death penlty for this ..her poor husband must be completely and utterly broken 💔💔 I cannot understand I simply cannot , as a mother myself it's absolutely heartbreaking and horrfic I just don't know how the poor father is feeling right now .coz I would have to take her out myself ..to lose his children in such s horrfic barbaric way is just unthinkable and Tragic
Be glad you didn’t have my mom. There were several times I met her gaze and knew she wanted to kill me. She had a disgusting married sleaze of a boyfriend who told people around town he was “nailing” both of us. She believed the gossip and attacked me, the very last time I ever let her into my home.
Anxious to see your analysis. As a mother I can't imagine how this woman could have done such a thing other than wanting to hurt her husband. How selfish!
As someone raised by a mentally unstable mother, I immediately recognized the “crazy” in Christy’s pictures. Her poor daughters. That flat shine of inner madness is apparent in every picture; their gaze reminds me of that cult leader Applewhite.
I wish mental health were treated with the same importance as physical health since many physical ailments stem from mental and emotional ones. Unfortunately paradigm shifts like this take a tragically long time. However, maybe we’re getting there through people like Dr. G, speaking up about the significance of mental health and being educated about it. ❤️
I worked in both fields as an RN. Mental Health as we know it today is all about BIG pHARMa DRugs$ v curing the brain. We only use appoximately 10% of our brain's capacity as a COMPUTER that when of IF used to full capacity will out perform machines.
Anna I feel the same way that mental health should be prioritized and funded. It isn't valued or taken seriously enough in our country. And we are seeing the horrific impacts of mental health deteriorating with all these crimes, homelessness, suicides, overdoses drug abuse, domestic violence, and mass shootings.
I appreciate the commentary on the nature of a depressive disorder, particularly in conjunction with using alcohol to numb the pain. I would offer the additional perspective that sometimes family members are forced to withdraw from such untreated individual for their own safety and well being. It isn’t just a matter of not understanding or viewing the relapse (depression or alcohol use) as a failure; it could be that when in the depressive state, the person with the illness inflicts severe emotional harm on the people closest to them. In this way, I view depression as having a secondary effect on other family members. If the depressive refuses to seek help or comply with treatment then loved ones may have no choice but to leave for self-preservation as well as to avoid enabling dysfunctional coping strategies.
@@allahmohammed1819 jesus christ how did her comment offend you so badly? Lol She wasn’t digging on Dr Grande at all. And I agree with her 100%. She was simply offering a different perspective and insight.
Yes I agree completely. My mother is this way constantly and it’s gotten to the point where I literally cannot have a relationship with her anymore bc of the mental and emotional abuse she puts on me. She does it to everyone in the family who doesn’t enable her. It’s sad and it sucks.
YAY THE DOC THAT ROCKS did the Analyzation of my Request … Thank you Doctor G!!!! When I UA-cam you are definitely my top choice!!! Thank you from Texas!!! 🙏🏼❤️
It’s so sick for someone to think others need to feel their pain in order to understand it. True love for one’s family should make a person grateful that they don’t feel the same pain.
@@bethanyestes5126 Calm down, salty. Not everyone is going to take things as easily as you do. You know, due to different life experience and all that?
Wow, I consider myself so very lucky, I had two very unstable parents and a sister who was paranoid schizophrenic, there were numerous guns in the house. I remember the one time my mother trying to attack one of my sisters and I stepped between them. Such a volatile life luckily no one ever use the guns. Nonetheless, the local police were always worried and would always come by very quickly if there was any trouble they were called to. I never understood it, but the local police for decades were very lenient on my parents, except for the time my mother try to attack an officer, but still she only got probation.
Not a psychologist, but from experience I think Christy may have had narcissistic traits or Borderline Personality Disorder due to her unstable relationships with the people around her and how her former employer believed she was disingenuous.
This case has stayed with me since I heard about it for the first time. What a terrible and inconceivable thing to do to your children. Thank you once again Dr. Grande, for your assessment
Thank you for the spot on explanation on how terrible depression can be and is, and it’s misunderstanding among friends and family of the depressed person. I have lived with this for years and have always be so misunderstood by family and friends. Seems nobody can get it unless they walk in the depressed person’s shoes. They only know how it affects them as family members and it can be very difficult. It’s a very painful illness. Hopefully your audience will “hear” this and gain more insight and understanding. Sad for everyone involved.
I had a bout with deep depression and now even I can't understand how I felt. I remember the situation completely and am 100% aware of the facts that it was a feeling of desperation. I remember the fact that one defining feature was the abject loneliness. But it was so deep that I literally can't relate to it now. So even if people had felt it I doubt they would be able to truly understand. But it is disappointing that they usually don't even try to listen, which is part of what makes it so bad.
@@USALibertarian yes I totally get it. Some truly hit rock bottom in the pits of despair. I have been there in times past. The doctor points out about getting better may only be going back to baseline, not actually being well. I call baseline my borderline ok. Just a tip over that can been just terrible. I hope you the best :)
True. Most people don't 'get it.' Even when they do, most get tired of it, after awhile. Lonely, in a house full of people, is a painful way to live. I hope things are better for you, now. All the best. ❤
Yes, I appreciated that, too. I've had major clinical depression as long as I can remember, was diagnosed at 13. Now I'm almost 40 and I realize I've pretty mostly isolated myself because I know other people can't depend on me long term. Disappointing others really exacerbates the depression. 😔
They can't depend on you? Or you can't depend on them? I definitely see both sides but nobody talks about how people (and society) who are draining contribute to depression and then just discard you.
Very good analysis, mental illnesses are very difficult to carry or even survive.This is a tragic case of a person who obviously has suffered a lot and too much.Thank you, Dr. Grande
Hello, Dr Grande. Going through some of your videos. I have to say you handled this Analysis with professionalism, and empathy. There were No Winners in this situation. I don't see how anyone could blame the Husband. He did what he thought was best, no matter how it turned out. One never knows what will happen when dealing with a depressed and emotional individual. Very Professional, as usual. 👌
Thank you for a good analysis on Christy. As a mother of three adult children myself, I can not comprehend how this woman could kill her two daughters. I know a lady that had three sons, the eldest two sons were conceived by her ex husband. She had remarried and had a third son. The ex-husband came to collect his two sons, as he did every other weekend. Tragically for his children, he murdered his two young sons and himself, by connecting a hosepipe to the car exhaust pipe. It materialised that he had killed his children to “get revenge on his ex-wife for leaving him. I remember feeling so much hate towards this man. His sons were human beings in their own right, as was Christy’s Daughters. I am glad the police shot her dead.
I served in the military, we are constantly training to the point when gun shots are fired our reaction is almost robotic, that is, we may be fearful but the training is so instilled in us we can still address the treat as we should. Some call it bravery, to an extent it is, but really our mind go into like autopilot that allow us to immediately do what we've been condition to do. I say this to say to all saying what this man could have done in hindsight, while sitting safely in their homes, they have no idea how paralyzing fear & confusion can take over a person who has not been trained when a gun is introduced to a situation, especially unexpectedly. The man very well could have just been overtaken by sheer confusion as to what to do in that initial moment & it is in that initial moment you have no time to think, hence military consistently training the troops so we don't waste time trying to gather our thoughts, to be ready within seconds to respond. I won't judge nor question the father in this case because I understand without training nor ever experiencing a situation like that absolute & total confusion as to what to do can easily take over any untrained person. Could I rush a person with a gun about to kill my child? Probably yes, but only because I've received some training to just respond without thinking. But of course even I can't say with certainty what I would do being, thankfully, I've never been in a situation to kill people I know.
It's silly to say someone should have done something differently when his wife was pointing a gun at him, as if in that situation the critics would have been like a ninja who pulled some crazy stunt to kick it out of her hands and save the day.
Apparently the father actually did try to stop her. But there are two daughters and one of him. She didn't want to shoot him. She wanted him to live with the hurt.
thank you for your response, many people are interested in why the father didn't rush her for the gun...I guess people don't understand the situation, what it's like to be in a panic around gunfires.
@@guest_5992 And that's one of the points I'm trying to point out; In addition to the initial shock, & fear, his wife has pulled a gun, that man had not 1 but 2 children to think of protecting simultaneously. Even if he had 0 fear of losing his own life protecting them the confusion & mental anguish of deciding between the 2 daughters to protect first, that alone would cause any man not prepared for a situation like that to freeze, not necessarily out of fear, just suddenly being placed in a predicament to decide between 2 people he love equally with no time to think. I personally feel for the man, I can't even begin to think of the mental & emotional torment he must have been in at that initial moment & certainly afterwards when he realized he lost both of them.
The way you described having MDD and the way others view a person with MDD nearly made me cry. I’ve been in a low now for about 8 weeks, and everyone probably thinks I just suck. I started an additional medication to assist my existing medication, but it seems to just be getting worse. I’m not violent and I’ve held the same job for 5 years, don’t worry.
Thank you for a very clear explanation about depression and anxiety disorder and how it affects people. I learn something from you everyday, Dr. Grande.
She had to hate her children and motherhood secretly in the first place, for sure. Being depressed does not mean you want to hurt others, there is a lot more at play with being agressive than "having mood changes".
Being suicidal twists the way you see everything. I have children I love with my whole heart. When I was extremely depressed I attempted suicide & I thought also of killing my children. Not because I hated them .. because I *LOVED* them. My twisted thinking went like this: This world is awful. All they will do is suffer throughout their entire life. I love them too much to let that happen. I want to save them from having to be in this cruel world. If I can help them be in a much better place, that is my motherly duty because I want what's best for them & I want to spare them from grief. See? She didn't have to hate her kids to do this. She didn't have to hate being a mother to do this. She could have been thinking in the horrid way I was. Btw, I can't believe I was that sick once. My children were never touched & they never knew what I was thinking. I'm so sorry I was so disturbed. But, when you are, you don't know it.
@@nutmegandcynicism I understand what you say because these are all traits of a narcissist. Narcissism leads you to see yourself in another person (child, partner, etc), so there's no actual separation between the 2 people (as for feelings, bodies, minds and beliefs). As there's no separation, a narcissistic parent also lacks of understanding the individuality of the other person (the child): the child feelings (different from hers/his) are unacceptable, like feelings of happiness when the parent feels miserable or ever their sexual maturation is unacceptable. So, when a child grow up and find happiness in a marital relationship that's completely impossible to approve and acknowledge for a narcissistic parent.
Having been raised by a narcissistic mother…I suspect the upcoming wedding tipped her over the edge…it was a stark contrast with how her own relationship was going. My mother’s response to me saying we were planning to get married was “oh great, me and my boyfriend can too, maybe a double wedding?” 🤦🏻♀️ And that was 20 yrs ago, have not spoken to her since…for another reason (using my SSN and racking up $50k in tax bills). Just saying…that detail was super pertinent…poor girls. How is the ex doing? (Cruel to tell her to kill herself!)
Being suicidal twists the way you see everything. I have children I love with my whole heart. When I was extremely depressed I attempted suicide & I thought of also killing my children. Not because I hated them .. because I *LOVED* them. My twisted thinking went like this: This world is awful. All they will do is suffer throughout their entire life. I love them too much to let that happen. I want to *save* them from having to be in this cruel world. If I can help them be in a much better place, that is my duty because I want what's best for them. See? she didn't have to hate her kids to do this. She could have also been thinking this horrid way. Btw, I can't believe I was that *sick* once. My children were never touched & they never knew what I was thinking. I'm so sorry I was so disturbed. But, when you are, you don't know it.
Well said, I couldn’t agree more. Being clinically depressed really twists your thinking and reasoning, its a completely different state of mind. Not just being sad. Especially if its long term, over years or even decades.
I have suffered with GENERALized anxiety and depression all my life but would never take a life including my own. I follow the 10 comMANdMENts as my BIBLE.
@@lm7092 exactly! Dr Grande missed this one big time. Not only he missed but gave a chance to narcs to flood the comment section with self gratulatory comment like : how could her kill her daughters just to get revenge on her husband? What kind of mother was she? I have two children but I will never ever harm them. They are the apple of my eyes! Ok, no they can go back to their kids to take a pic and post it on FB captioning reads : greatest mom ever!
People who have never experienced that kind of mental distress, often don't understand the one who does. If they can see a physical problem, they are sympathetic and kind,. But emotional pain is often ''just in their head'. Thank you for your thoughts on this tragedy.
Most people with the same mental health issues would never harm anybody, let alone their family. Some people are just evil, although that's a word that has gone out of fashion.
It's also a religious word that removes any attempt at understanding the individual. Evil, hell, heaven and god are all imaginary creations meant to give a few men unlimited power over others.
I always considered the word "evil" as a really shallow description and not very educational. People who are capable to commit a premeditated murder under such circumstances/backgrounds have certain psychopathological traits like psychopathy/sociopathy and narcissism.
*People who have severe/ongoing mental health issues such as this woman; should not only NOT be allowed to carry concealed, but not allowed to own **_any_** gun, period! This would be a small step in the effort to curb gun violence!*
They are NOT allowed to own guns, that's why she was denied a permit. This is the core of gun control, laws on the books are not being upheld. Every state in the US is required to do a background check, but the enforcement is almost non-existent thanks to lobbying by the NRA. "Straw" purchases, or buying guns for a person denied a permit happen all the time. Enforcing this one law would be a huge step in curbing gun violence.
Even for those of us who grew up before social media. There's always families in the neighborhood you think are perfect. Then its discovered decades later they were hiding some type of weirdness.
I had a friend who fought like hell in a custody suit during a very messy divorce for the dog that her husband absolutely adored. After spending thousands of dollars and a couple of years in court, she was awarded custody of the dog. She probably had him put down to spite her ex-husband. He was devastated. I don’t put it past her that she would’ve done the same thing if they had had children. Absolutely despicable. I never spoke to her again
A huge problem in this country is that after a patient receives inpatient mental health treatment, they often don’t get set up with ongoing therapy sessions. Someone who is struggling enough to end up in an inpatient facility cannot set that up on their own. Hospitals should be coordinating this for their patients but for whatever reason, they don’t.
I agree - our country needs a much more robust mental health system - & ongoing, no charge treatment for those struggling. Mental health get very little support - because those who have significant mental problems usually have little to no money. Like with everything, $$$ trumps all.
Dr Grande, I just finished watching an older video you made of a really good role play of a counselling session with a woman who was contemplating suicide and as you interviewed her it became more and more clear that she really didn't care about anything or anybody and didn't think anyone cared about her and felt hopeless and worthless and ultimately suicidal. In a way you can see this same dip happening here where a woman who once was very aware of the love she had for her children, slipped so far into a deep depression that it enabled her to carry out a callous murder of two people who she probably still loved but the depression had just wiped out any feelings she had for them or herself. She was truly out of her mind in my opinion but it seems to have built up over years. A very sad story.
So very sad. I suffer with mental illness and I'm not ashamed to seek professional help if my thoughts are off. I don't understand how she didn't raise the red flag on herself.
I love when people say “I would have ___”. Until you have been through a situation you don’t know what your reaction will be. You will probably freeze. I was in a situation like that where I froze not that severe nobody died but I never would’ve thought for a moment I would have froze until it happened. That’s why we have fire drills. That’s why more places should have live shooter and other types of emergency drills
These comments defending this family annihilator or saying "she was in pain" are disgusting. She terrorized her family for years!!! Their father tried to shelter the girls from the pain THEY felt. The amount of apologetics here when a woman is the family annihilator, makes me sick. I'm a woman, and the excuses need to stop. If a man did the exact same thing in the exact same circumstances, women would be screaming about what a narcissist murderous POS he was, and they'd be right.
Thank you Dr. Grande. I hope many people watch this to learn and to understand things they may be going through or went through. This extreme case is shocking but there are still signs and opportunities to be learned
OMG! What a horrible crime! Murdering your children for any reason is horrible! What could Jason have been guilty of in her mind? How does murder fix anything? Thanks Doc, this is so painful!
I will never forget this case. I was living in Houston at the time and I remember my heart actually broke when I heard about this in the news. Those poor babies. Their father may have lived but he will never be ok.
Yep-the comments made about the family not understanding the depressive’s issues. Got that. So many folks look at mental health issues as a ‘failing’ or a lack of will power of the afflicted individual. As if the person ‘does this on purpose’. You know, Dr. G…why is it if we break a bone friends and family rush us to the hospital, etc, but have a ‘broken brain’ …oftentimes no help or understanding at all. Education-is so lacking and necessary in this country….
The flipside is that many people act as though people have no control or responsibility whatsoever regarding their mental issues. Both attitudes contribute to compounding those issues imo
I would be very curious to see the results of an examination of Christy Sheat's brain post mortem, though I doubt an autopsy was performed since the cause of death was known. I'm just reminded of the case of Charles Whitman, the mass shooter whose personality completely changed due to a tumor pressing on his amygdala. How else does a seemingly loving mother gun down her daughters? Then again, alcohol is a hell of a drug. ☹
Alcohol affects women in a particularly nasty way. Coming from the son of an alcoholic mother, she becomes a very nasty person. Almost like a demon. She can sommon some particularly evil and nasty demons during an alcoholic episode.
@@truthsocialmedia it can do that to men as well. The thing I find strange is that she suddenly hurt her daughters instead of her husband. Even if they had argued before that, it seems like the build up, or slow decline, or whatever it would have been, to that point, was very abrupt. Could be that I just don't know the whole story (obviously I don't), and there was a lot more to it.
@@cht2162 Do you really think that Alzheimers could explain it? Wondering if it's possible to have such a big change in disposition without having other manifestations of dementia, so presumably in the early stages. Alcohol also makes that worse. (Probably safe to say it makes everything worse.)
I appreciate your videos so much, Dr. Grande! Interesting stories that I can listen to in the background while I work. :) Loving the red shirt, by the way!
Amazing analysis. Dr. Grande you have succeeded in showing us the case through the shooter's perspective and helped us understand how she got to this point. I hope people start noticing the mental health struggles a loved one is going through and get them help at the earliest.
In Sweden only criminals and hunters have firearms. There are strict laws how to have the hunting weapon in a locked cabinet and the ammunition in an other cabinet. 🇸🇪
@@salmathecopt7969 - I know where I'd rather live. The American obsession with guns comes at a hideous cost of which the tragic death of those two young women is a tiny part.
One point you made Dr Grande, I'd like reiterate regarding depression being seen a failure because it returns. I have depression that brings some real lows. I take medication and have a great doctor I've seen for years. I have had to explain more than once that it is an illness that happens to be in my head that cannot be cured. It is managed. I can draw a parallel to type 1 diabetes in that it isn't cured, it's managed. Sometimes it clicks, sometimes not so much. Obviously, tragically, this was not the case with Mrs. Sheets.
Jordan Peterson says to be who you are behind closed doors out in the real world. In modern times, because of social media's effect on one's psychology, people often portrays being complete and happy while hiding deep within themselves their inner shadow. Which never comes out unless some form of external release presents itself. Running from pain by seeking pleasure or by inflicting harm on others. Socialization in these times is in a sense, a finite example of mutually assured destruction. If someone else sinks the rest must sink as well.
spot on, I'm a big fan of Peterson, a fellow Canadian Norwegian!! But I'm also smelling a big "Mood Disorder" with this lady, and if you're even been on the RECEIVING END of people like this, it's virtually impossible for a lay person (or police officer) to handle, even if you're expecting it. It's an attack, and a big ouch.
Your videos often make me realize how much worse things can be. My own problems seem small and benign compared to these extreme cases. And you’re right about both alcohol and firearms-they’re a bad mix and too often lead to tragic outcomes.
For the Dad I think if someone I loved had a gun pointing at me and people I loved I would be overwhelmed and just utterly shocked. It probably happened so fast and unexpectedly. This is why people get post traumatic stress disorder because these events are surreal and devastating.
Really good point at the close there, Dr. Grande. It is incredibly refreshing to hear an honest attempt of conveying that type of perspective. As usual, you are on point.❤️
This case broke my heart, the fact that she went back inside the house to reload the gun and proceeded to pursue her daughter again is truly sickening. What a sad case.🥺😢 Thank you for the review Dr. Grande, your conclusion was perfect. I hope you have a restful Sunday with your family.❤️
Right! That totally means she had plenty of time to “cool off” and gain her composure. She made a conscious and planned decision to proceed. It’s absolutely unthinkable.
One of the things I like most about his videos are the little jokes that are delivered in such a sterile and serious way... I love your channel and have learned quite a bit as a nerd who loves criminal psychology
Doc, really appreciate your insight into this story. Her pain must have been so deep and profound, so many years. Just awful. Thanks again for your dedication, love as always 🐈🐾❤️❤️
She was in such pain, I'm wondering why she hadn't tried to kill herself since she acquired the gun. Instead she killed her daughters, her husband's daughters on his bday, and her soon-to-be-son-in-law's fiance, on a day his family probably already booked their flights and hotels to the wedding. Fun. She really should get zero pity, there's no way she wasn't a monster throughout. I just have a very hard time believing she wasn't a terrible monster throughout her life. You don't wake up and make decisions like that.
Why did the husband allow her to keep the gun? She was denied a concealed carrier’s license? Surly he could inform police/ psychiatrist that she wasn’t stable enough to own a gun. Am amazed anyone with that kind of mental history can own a gun? It was a disaster just waiting to happen. Just incredibly sad.
Yes for sure it was a disaster waiting to happen. People probably think that "it will never happen to them" and he was going to end the marriage anyway.
it's Texas and just because she can't have a concealed carry doesn't mean she cannot recieve a gun as an inheritance. i absolutely am for stricter gun laws but you blaming the husband but just as easily could blame the grandfather that left it to her.
I agree. Someone in the family could have hid the gun from her, or something! If for no other reason, than the fact that she had a history if multiple suicide attempts.
I wonder what she looked like without full face and eye makeup. Seems she spent a lot of time on her personal appearance. You mentioned her wanting to make it appear as though she was well-adjusted and had an ideal life; is the cosmetics over-usage part of that desire of appearance of perfection?
With women who are depressed some use clothes and grooming to cloak their depression. And I know of one psychiatrist who blithely told a friend of mine, who was suicidal, that she couldn't be that depressed because she had dressed up for the appointment! He also almost killed another friend of mine by over medicating her. Eventually the clinic removed him from counseling.
It's hard to understand how you could reach the stage where the hatred of your spouse outweighed the love you have for your children.
If you never truly loved your children in the first place.
love of self
Cultures struggle with this all the time, especially rigid cultures. Look at the number of cases of parental infanticide on their ADULT daughters, and SEVERAL cases in Canada of killing not only the daughter, but ANY family female that helped her get away. In other cultures, taking your children out is the ultimate F You to the husband, denying him his "legacy' written in religious law.
So many spouses going through a separation let their hatred of their ex outweighs their love for their children. This is obviously the most extreme of cases, but it shows up in less violent ways.
She has no love, nor ever did !
I have a mother like Christy. From the sounds of it, similar to my mother, she mostly loves having lives/ppl she feels she can control more than anything else. She loves the attention being a "good mom" brings her on social media & in conversation. They never tell YOU (their own child) they cherish you above all else - they only say that kind of thing to strangers in order to inflate their own social image & get praise.
i understand, used to do a brod like that.
Yep. It’s difficult to believe that Narcissistic Personality Disorder was not diagnosed in this situation.
Kristina I understand. That was my mother too. Plus physical abuse. As a child I would ease drop on her conversations, not to glean gossip, to hear her positive feelings about me. At 16 years old I was able to petition the court and lived independently (with court supervision) at 16 years old. I loved the freedom of getting away from the rollercoaster of emotions and walking through life on my own responsible path.
Ironically, my mother still bragged about my successes as family members kept her up to date on my progress (she was legally not allowed to know where I lived/approach me). I had an Amazing Social Worker❣️❣️❣️ Sometimes the system does work. 😁
@@MegOtto4268 So good the system worked for you & thank you for sharing ❤
I now work in the mental health & substance use disorder fields. I feel very fortunate to be able to serve others who might be in a worse position than I was in or those who might not understand that there is help available. Once again, I appreciate you sharing - thanks so much.
Please be careful around her!!!
When denied a conceal and carry permit in Texas, you know there is a problem.
That’s true! We issue them with birth certificates, lol
Good point. :)
True that!
Not funny!! Thus extremely funny - completely out of my logic reach that a permit be denied....in Texas!!!
I'm in awe: this may be the first time ever that I've seen 100% agreement with the OP in any UA-cam comment thread!
Amazing.
My friend's husband killed their adult son, an only child, to punish her because she had just filed for divorce. People who do this are beyond cruel.
its an inwardly expression that manifest itself outwardly of the rejection felt .unresolved unwanted not loved .terrible place to be .perhaps. coupled with medication giving in, To a false sense of reasoning
Maybe it wasn't his son.
i think people who do this kind of thing don't even realize that their children are actual individuals with their own lives... i don't know if it's npd or something else, but i would guess they see the kids as playthings to be manipulated and when they kill them, to them it feels like they've just broken the favourite possession of the person they want to hurt
@@stefanforrer2573 Kids are basically NPCs. I wouldnt overthink it too much
@@patstaysuckafreeboss8006 Boy, I wish I could stop snickering and downvote you.
Poor form. Not appropriate. Kind of funny.
That’s exactly why after I split with my ex, I moved across the country and limited all contact to be solely through my lawyer. I had a gut feeling I was going to end up dead that just kept getting stronger and I listened to it. My life and my mental health have greatly improved since leaving that toxicity.
I stopped sleeping in the bed and kept an eye on the kitchen knife draw.
Smart
I dropped out of the love scene. It's been 7 years now.
@@SinisterScoundrel6562 Excellent strategy. I blame Disney for all the people who are hardwired to believe they need to be in a relationship - no matter what the quality - for life to have meaning.
Smart.
So ironic how she cared so much about her image, but single-handedly ruined it by being evil.
Great analysis! As a mother of two daughters, I have difficulty grasping how a mother can kill the children she carried and raised to punish anyone.
women are narcissists too
*I also have difficulty grasping how anyone can hurt or kill others, **_especially_** their own children! She should **_never_** have been allowed a gun, period!*
When my husband left me for another women, I thought my life was over. It was my 2 children that kept me going. Looking and loving them was what got me over the grief...
I've never had children but the idea of a mother killing her own children is unfathomable to me.
@@jhoughjr1 obviously. Which is why its hard for people who are not narcs, to understand their thought process and actions
Let this be your sign to get out of that on again off again and/or toxic relationship today. There is no reward for you in bearing the toxic person.
I wish more people understood this. And the more you go back and the longer you stay the harder it is to get out. She might have been mental but she knew right from wrong and even premeditated it bc she had the gun hidden right next to her. She was a nasty woman and I hope the husband has found peace and love again. It would be hard to move on from a tragedy like that. I think I'd rather be dead than live without my child.
@@dontdiscriminatehateeveryo9263 you are right.
yea me too. Actually I said same thing in another cm but from a daughter pov. Unfortunately sometimes people take pitty on the toxic people or they doubt their judgement or they are being gaslighted or whatever and it's not their fault I wish all the people in toxic rels can find their way and be safe.
@@dontdiscriminatehateeveryo9263 the guy was an idiot, he kept breaking up with his wife 7 times, thats not normal. he even escalated things further by telling her to point the gun on herself causing her to shoot their kids. if he really cared about his daughters let alone his wife he wouldn't have insulted her, plus, he would have went up to her himself to stop her parents sacrifice for their kids and family, he was a coward.
Also, NEVER go back!!! That's a one way exit!
@@spyro115 life is more complicated than you think and not everyone have the same life lets not judge
The part about the husband telling her to use the gun on herself reminds me of another case. A young man's girlfriend broke up with him and the guy couldn't get over the loss. He was despondent. I don't remember the name or exact details, but he was hanging out with his brother and maybe his brother's wife one day, crying again about the breakup, saying he wanted to die because couldn't live without her, etc. His brother, in a horrible moment of exasperation, gave him a shotgun and said fine, go ahead if you really mean it (intending to prove he didn't actually want to die so he could finally start moving on.) But his brother actually shot and killed himself right then an there. The 911 call is one of the saddest and most disturbing I've ever heard. I had to stop listening to true crime related media for a long time after that.
😢😢😢....
It is hard work listening to true crime media for sure. In this case more so since Christie already had inherited a weapon while she was continuing to demand from everyone the right to use it too and so I am not so sure that if Jason refrained from making that comment that it would have saved their lives. Would have been much better for everyone if Jason had found some way to render the weapon in her possession useless and if he left Christie with their children and then if he did his best to help limit the time that she spent with their children no matter what it took for him to do so.
Do you know the names involved? That poor brother. He must feel terrible.
yep. Armchair psychology
@@francesbernard2445 What way could he possibly have found that would render the gun useless? Magic spell? Blast heat rays from his eyes that melted it?
the one thing that bothered me is how you covered the father's reaction - 'he may have thought the best option was just to flee' ... in other articles and videos i saw on this, the father was heard on the 911 desperately begging christy to shoot him instead, and when she started shooting, he was guiding his daughters out. he went back and forth between the daughters' bodies (witnessed by neighbor who was calling 911) trying to save them and again, beg christy for mercy
i was surprised by your reporting on the father because i always had thought he was very valiant and tried so hard to save his daughters
I couldnt imagine how he felt anf feels being the only person that survived bless him whoever he is.
This needs to be way higher. If this is true, it's very irresponsible research work and reporting.
@@HimanshuGupta-nt6kl yes and I just went back to listen to the 911 call placed by the neighbor who basically witnessed the entire shooting that happened - he said there was a male (the father) trying to help the 2 daughters who were laying on the ground and both alive at that point. when christy came out with more bullets he was arguing with her, trying to stop her, but she shot the 2 daughters dead. as even dr grande pointed out, christy had chances to shoot her husband, but she was deliberate in only shooting the daughters. it doesnt mean that her husband hadn't put himself in danger (imo he did) to try and save his children
Huh? He ditched them. He should have at least tried to get the gun away from her instead of screaming like a girl and letting her hunt BOTH her kids down!
@@lyjwb8 No he didn't lol if someone is trying to shoot your kids you dont "argue", you attack, especially when you're much bigger than the aggressor. She literally walked up to both her kids and shot them AGAIN point blank range with no resistance from him.
It's possible Christy threatened suicide many times in a melodramatic and manipulative fashion. Her husband may have been expecting that and been sick of the histrionics and become sarcastic. I had a messed up mother and after years of scenes I just got jaded.
I can certainly picture that. Guy was at his wits end with her no doubt- but he tried to make it work. I feel just terrible for him in every sense.
I’m almost certain that’s what happened and I can’t imagine the guilt he feels over that one frustrated sarcastic comment.
Agreed. Everyone gets exasperated with the histrionics.
Absolutely
Same here. My Mom would threaten it often and after years of being constantly worried and babysitting her I became jaded too. It's sad but it'ss kind of bound to happen when suicide is used as a threat (the becoming jaded part I mean).
Doctor Grande, I know you're channel has evolved more toward analyses of these kinds of case stories-and they are very interesting-but I'm wondering if you'd be willing to do a special episode one day about de-escalation of potentially dangerous / deadly situations.
For example, if Jason could not have closed the gap between himself and Christy and had to use conversation only, what would have been better things for him to say? Or how can one recognise when a situation like this has already gone past conversation and it's time to either fight or run?
As always, thanks so much for your videos and your diligent work each day!
I would love for him to do one on dating too .. how to spot a dangerous person
I don't think anything Jason said could have helped at that point, but this would still be an interesting and useful video!
Oooooh! Yes please!!
I miss the old pyschological content, I wish he would at least sprinkle in maybe like 1 per week but he's completely focused on true crime and jokes now because that's what brings in views. The unnecessary sponsorships are evidence for that too. I don't hate his new content I just wish he would use his psychology education for actual psychology content which actually helps people instead of just mildly entertaining them
At least his back catalogue is still there so maybe try to watch the old videos
@@rishaa682 Some of his older content may be helpful there. He had done many videos back in the earlies on Narcissism, how to spot a narcissist, how to avoid 'toxic' relationships, and so on.
This is one of the most horrific cases I've heard about.
I agree. I never heard about this case before. My hands are actually shaking as I type this comment. I didn't expect the horrific ending especially from a female. I think I've reviewed enough murder cases for awhile.
@Brian Karabats yes with way too many guns.
@Brian Karabats there have always been mentally ill people and sociopaths. We just hear about them more easily today.
I truly don’t know how you go on after something like that. That poor man. Also the fiancé whose bride was killed by her mother 3 days before they were going to marry. She destroyed so many lives.
The worst one I know about is of a hippie dude I read about put a live Nazi grenade his father brought home from the war down the back of the pants of this older loser who stole his high school sweetheart a some clandestine rave. The older loser lived but without his legs and penis. And the hippie dude got off practically Scot free because he had been tripping on LSD at the rave and was in acute emotional distress during the commission of the crime, the court found. He went onto marry his high school sweetheart 2 years later. True story.
From my personal experience of dealing with major depression, anxiety and PTSD, I can say that at times, every day is a battle to live. I've worked hard to find joy with counseling, medication and other treatments to moderate its tyranny on me. Sometimes, every hour is a struggle not to end my pain and I hide it as best I can. Normal" people don't get it. Please show compassion and thank you Dr G, for your insights.
I suffer from those same things and do feel compassion for others going through the same, like you for example Chris. But I don’t feel compassion for Christy. I think what she did was rooted in her personality more than her mental illness. So many of us suffer with mental illness and never hurt another person.
Dani, you sad it perfectly.
I hope you're not saying we should show compassion towards this woman.
@@PajamaJazama personally I have none for her .
@@staceylili6703 Me neither, anything short of being totally psychotic won't get an ounce of empathy from me in such a case. I hope there's a hell for this woman to burn in.
Apart from the drinking this sounds like my ex-wife. I tried to accommodate her lows but I couldn't tolerate the aggression towards the children when she was angry at me for whatever reason she'd concocted while I was away at work or in class. She disappeared and then showed up at the children's schools to pull them out mid-day. The teachers stated that she was belligerent and that they didn't feel comfortable releasing the children to her. I applied for emergency custody and divorced her. The court granted me custody but insisted on giving her visitation despite documented mental health issues. The court agreement forbade from me from asking them anything about their visitations with their mother. When I spoke to a social worker at childrens protective services about my belief that the mother was abusing the children I was advised that if the a case of abuse was substantiated the children would be removed from both of our care because I failed to prevent the abuse. Due to shared legal custody i required her permission to have the children see therapists. She told me and the children she was "afraid of what they might say about me" in therapy.The children told me as adults that she continued to abuse them while in her care. If I'd allowed the children to live with her I'm sure it would have been much worse. If you can't convince your spouse to seek help you have to leave them for the sake of the children.
How the hell are you supposed to prevent it if there's a court order for unsupervised visitation? And how can the court legally prevent you about asking your children about what happens to them on a visit?
Not gonna lie but that sounds like a shitty state to live in with some hypocritical laws. That's fucked up. I hope your kids are well.
😢
That half-cocked "bullet points" pun is going to trigger a lot of people.
correction: 'some' people..
I see what you did there ...
It triggered me to have a good case of chuckles 😃
@ DRB QQQ It's known as 'deadpan humor' : )
I mean /it is/ a bit insensitive to make a joke like that before talking about a mother murdering her children so…makes sense
This is so crazy ...iv been depressed and I have anxiety but I would never hurt my babies this story blows my mind I can't understand how someone could do that
Yeah this seems like a powder keg. It wasn’t just mental illness. She was spiteful.
Christy sounds like she had Bi-Polar disorder. I lived with someone who had that and they were not medicating. It was awful. Something as simple as a burned out light bulb can set them off. Although Christy`s eyes are beautiful, there is a "not all there" look to them.
Murdering your own children in cold blood isn't , mental illness it's premeditatited murder she deserves the death penlty for this ..her poor husband must be completely and utterly broken 💔💔 I cannot understand I simply cannot , as a mother myself it's absolutely heartbreaking and horrfic I just don't know how the poor father is feeling right now .coz I would have to take her out myself ..to lose his children in such s horrfic barbaric way is just unthinkable and Tragic
Me neither
I don’t understand how a mother could look at her children and murder them.
Probably the same way as a dad does, which doesn't make much sense either.
Mental illness + narcissism
Be glad you didn’t have my mom. There were several times I met her gaze and knew she wanted to kill me.
She had a disgusting married sleaze of a boyfriend who told people around town he was “nailing” both of us. She believed the gossip and attacked me, the very last time I ever let her into my home.
Anxious to see your analysis. As a mother I can't imagine how this woman could have done such a thing other than wanting to hurt her husband. How selfish!
As someone raised by a mentally unstable mother, I immediately recognized the “crazy” in Christy’s pictures. Her poor daughters. That flat shine of inner madness is apparent in every picture; their gaze reminds me of that cult leader Applewhite.
I wish mental health were treated with the same importance as physical health since many physical ailments stem from mental and emotional ones. Unfortunately paradigm shifts like this take a tragically long time. However, maybe we’re getting there through people like Dr. G, speaking up about the significance of mental health and being educated about it. ❤️
Mental health is public health; everyone benefits
I worked in both fields as an RN. Mental Health as we know it today is all about BIG pHARMa DRugs$ v curing the brain. We only use appoximately 10% of our brain's capacity as a COMPUTER that when of IF used to full capacity will out perform machines.
This !
Anna I feel the same way that mental health should be prioritized and funded. It isn't valued or taken seriously enough in our country. And we are seeing the horrific impacts of mental health deteriorating with all these crimes, homelessness, suicides, overdoses drug abuse, domestic violence, and mass shootings.
I love how Dr grande is compassionate toward the mentally ill but also doesn't make excuses for them. Good balance.
Dr G!! You are almost 900,000! Love seeing this channel grow!
Congrats!
5 months later 1.4 subs pretty awesome yay Dr Grande
"Christy had a few bullet points to cover.". Dr. Grande, you have a macabre sense of humor.
I appreciate the commentary on the nature of a depressive disorder, particularly in conjunction with using alcohol to numb the pain. I would offer the additional perspective that sometimes family members are forced to withdraw from such untreated individual for their own safety and well being. It isn’t just a matter of not understanding or viewing the relapse (depression or alcohol use) as a failure; it could be that when in the depressive state, the person with the illness inflicts severe emotional harm on the people closest to them. In this way, I view depression as having a secondary effect on other family members. If the depressive refuses to seek help or comply with treatment then loved ones may have no choice but to leave for self-preservation as well as to avoid enabling dysfunctional coping strategies.
He's not a Dr of medicine. He's not a psychiatrist. He's a mental health counselor....maybe you should find a real person and God.
@@allahmohammed1819 jesus christ how did her comment offend you so badly? Lol She wasn’t digging on Dr Grande at all. And I agree with her 100%. She was simply offering a different perspective and insight.
Yes I agree completely. My mother is this way constantly and it’s gotten to the point where I literally cannot have a relationship with her anymore bc of the mental and emotional abuse she puts on me. She does it to everyone in the family who doesn’t enable her. It’s sad and it sucks.
@@annalopinski4459 😆. Always a nerd in the bunch. Nothing wrong with a mental counselor. As he is called ‘Dr.’, I assume he has a doctorate.
@@allahmohammed1819 you have issues, did you know that?
YAY THE DOC THAT ROCKS did the Analyzation of my Request … Thank you Doctor G!!!! When I UA-cam you are definitely my top choice!!! Thank you from Texas!!! 🙏🏼❤️
thanks for requesting this. never heard of the case and it's crazy and sad
Thanks for requesting this!
Super jealous I keep asking him to do the Bever brothers. Fingers crossed eh
Good case I never heard of!🤠
It’s so sick for someone to think others need to feel their pain in order to understand it. True love for one’s family should make a person grateful that they don’t feel the same pain.
As soon as “bullet points” came out of his mouth, I knew where this was going.
@@SunShinyDaysPlease You could analyze you life choices and go find a channel you enjoy.
@@bethanyestes5126 Calm down, salty. Not everyone is going to take things as easily as you do. You know, due to different life experience and all that?
Wow, I consider myself so very lucky, I had two very unstable parents and a sister who was paranoid schizophrenic, there were numerous guns in the house. I remember the one time my mother trying to attack one of my sisters and I stepped between them. Such a volatile life luckily no one ever use the guns. Nonetheless, the local police were always worried and would always come by very quickly if there was any trouble they were called to. I never understood it, but the local police for decades were very lenient on my parents, except for the time my mother try to attack an officer, but still she only got probation.
That’s terrifying. I’m glad to hear you’re doing alright
Not a psychologist, but from experience I think Christy may have had narcissistic traits or Borderline Personality Disorder due to her unstable relationships with the people around her and how her former employer believed she was disingenuous.
This case has stayed with me since I heard about it for the first time. What a terrible and inconceivable thing to do to your children. Thank you once again Dr. Grande, for your assessment
Dr.Grande is bright, intuitive and makes so much sense. He also has a fantastic dry sense of humor
Thank you for the spot on explanation on how terrible depression can be and is, and it’s misunderstanding among friends and family of the depressed person. I have lived with this for years and have always be so misunderstood by family and friends. Seems nobody can get it unless they walk in the depressed person’s shoes. They only know how it affects them as family members and it can be very difficult. It’s a very painful illness. Hopefully your audience will “hear” this and gain more insight and understanding. Sad for everyone involved.
I had a bout with deep depression and now even I can't understand how I felt. I remember the situation completely and am 100% aware of the facts that it was a feeling of desperation. I remember the fact that one defining feature was the abject loneliness. But it was so deep that I literally can't relate to it now. So even if people had felt it I doubt they would be able to truly understand. But it is disappointing that they usually don't even try to listen, which is part of what makes it so bad.
@@USALibertarian yes I totally get it. Some truly hit rock bottom in the pits of despair. I have been there in times past. The doctor points out about getting better may only be going back to baseline, not actually being well. I call baseline my borderline ok. Just a tip over that can been just terrible. I hope you the best :)
True. Most people don't 'get it.' Even when they do, most get tired of it, after awhile. Lonely, in a house full of people, is a painful way to live. I hope things are better for you, now. All the best. ❤
Yes, I appreciated that, too. I've had major clinical depression as long as I can remember, was diagnosed at 13. Now I'm almost 40 and I realize I've pretty mostly isolated myself because I know other people can't depend on me long term. Disappointing others really exacerbates the depression. 😔
They can't depend on you? Or you can't depend on them? I definitely see both sides but nobody talks about how people (and society) who are draining contribute to depression and then just discard you.
What's scary is there's lots of people like this lady. That barely skate by without being detected.
I agree. There ARE lots. Not is. Very Scary
Especially when they are adept at projecting the 'perfect image'.
Very good analysis, mental illnesses are very difficult to carry or even survive.This is a tragic case of a person who obviously has suffered a lot and too much.Thank you, Dr. Grande
Hello, Dr Grande. Going through some of your videos. I have to say you handled this Analysis with professionalism, and empathy. There were No Winners in this situation. I don't see how anyone could blame the Husband. He did what he thought was best, no matter how it turned out. One never knows what will happen when dealing with a depressed and emotional individual. Very Professional, as usual. 👌
This was so viscious and so sad. I can't imagine being that vengeful. I hope he's doing alright.
I have to imagine his main reason for living is spite
Yes, just devastating.
Thank you for a good analysis on Christy. As a mother of three adult children myself, I can not comprehend how this woman could kill her two daughters. I know a lady that had three sons, the eldest two sons were conceived by her ex husband. She had remarried and had a third son. The ex-husband came to collect his two sons, as he did every other weekend. Tragically for his children, he murdered his two young sons and himself, by connecting a hosepipe to the car exhaust pipe. It materialised that he had killed his children to “get revenge on his ex-wife for leaving him. I remember feeling so much hate towards this man. His sons were human beings in their own right, as was Christy’s Daughters.
I am glad the police shot her dead.
If your partner insists on getting a gun against your wishes, you might be the reason for the gun.
HE had guns as well.
I served in the military, we are constantly training to the point when gun shots are fired our reaction is almost robotic, that is, we may be fearful but the training is so instilled in us we can still address the treat as we should. Some call it bravery, to an extent it is, but really our mind go into like autopilot that allow us to immediately do what we've been condition to do.
I say this to say to all saying what this man could have done in hindsight, while sitting safely in their homes, they have no idea how paralyzing fear & confusion can take over a person who has not been trained when a gun is introduced to a situation, especially unexpectedly. The man very well could have just been overtaken by sheer confusion as to what to do in that initial moment & it is in that initial moment you have no time to think, hence military consistently training the troops so we don't waste time trying to gather our thoughts, to be ready within seconds to respond.
I won't judge nor question the father in this case because I understand without training nor ever experiencing a situation like that absolute & total confusion as to what to do can easily take over any untrained person. Could I rush a person with a gun about to kill my child? Probably yes, but only because I've received some training to just respond without thinking. But of course even I can't say with certainty what I would do being, thankfully, I've never been in a situation to kill people I know.
It's silly to say someone should have done something differently when his wife was pointing a gun at him, as if in that situation the critics would have been like a ninja who pulled some crazy stunt to kick it out of her hands and save the day.
Apparently the father actually did try to stop her. But there are two daughters and one of him. She didn't want to shoot him. She wanted him to live with the hurt.
thank you for your response, many people are interested in why the father didn't rush her for the gun...I guess people don't understand the situation, what it's like to be in a panic around gunfires.
I agree. The shock of being in that situation would paralyze most people.
@@guest_5992 And that's one of the points I'm trying to point out; In addition to the initial shock, & fear, his wife has pulled a gun, that man had not 1 but 2 children to think of protecting simultaneously. Even if he had 0 fear of losing his own life protecting them the confusion & mental anguish of deciding between the 2 daughters to protect first, that alone would cause any man not prepared for a situation like that to freeze, not necessarily out of fear, just suddenly being placed in a predicament to decide between 2 people he love equally with no time to think.
I personally feel for the man, I can't even begin to think of the mental & emotional torment he must have been in at that initial moment & certainly afterwards when he realized he lost both of them.
Depression and anxiety doesn’t cause someone to murder. She was a
Histrionic with psychopathy.
about Jason's failure to disarm Christy: "it's easy to judge in leisure what others had to do in haste."
The way you described having MDD and the way others view a person with MDD nearly made me cry. I’ve been in a low now for about 8 weeks, and everyone probably thinks I just suck. I started an additional medication to assist my existing medication, but it seems to just be getting worse. I’m not violent and I’ve held the same job for 5 years, don’t worry.
I hope that you're going OK, Danielle. Take care of yourself, please.
Thank you for a very clear explanation about depression and anxiety disorder and how it affects people. I learn something from you everyday, Dr. Grande.
She had to hate her children and motherhood secretly in the first place, for sure. Being depressed does not mean you want to hurt others, there is a lot more at play with being agressive than "having mood changes".
I wonder if she was jealous of the older one. The mom’s marriage was ending just as her daughter’s was beginning, so she had to destroy it somehow
She was crazy all along, just look at her e.v.i.l dead eyes. No expression, nothing behind it..
Being suicidal twists the way you see everything. I have children I love with my whole heart. When I was extremely depressed I attempted suicide & I thought also of killing my children. Not because I hated them .. because I *LOVED* them. My twisted thinking went like this: This world is awful. All they will do is suffer throughout their entire life. I love them too much to let that happen. I want to save them from having to be in this cruel world. If I can help them be in a much better place, that is my motherly duty because I want what's best for them & I want to spare them from grief. See? She didn't have to hate her kids to do this. She didn't have to hate being a mother to do this. She could have been thinking in the horrid way I was. Btw, I can't believe I was that sick once. My children were never touched & they never knew what I was thinking. I'm so sorry I was so disturbed. But, when you are, you don't know it.
@@crwlh6721 yeah, feelings are much more complicated than just a label
@@nutmegandcynicism I understand what you say because these are all traits of a narcissist. Narcissism leads you to see yourself in another person (child, partner, etc), so there's no actual separation between the 2 people (as for feelings, bodies, minds and beliefs).
As there's no separation, a narcissistic parent also lacks of understanding the individuality of the other person (the child): the child feelings (different from hers/his) are unacceptable, like feelings of happiness when the parent feels miserable or ever their sexual maturation is unacceptable. So, when a child grow up and find happiness in a marital relationship that's completely impossible to approve and acknowledge for a narcissistic parent.
Having been raised by a narcissistic mother…I suspect the upcoming wedding tipped her over the edge…it was a stark contrast with how her own relationship was going. My mother’s response to me saying we were planning to get married was “oh great, me and my boyfriend can too, maybe a double wedding?” 🤦🏻♀️
And that was 20 yrs ago, have not spoken to her since…for another reason (using my SSN and racking up $50k in tax bills). Just saying…that detail was super pertinent…poor girls. How is the ex doing? (Cruel to tell her to kill herself!)
The upcoming wedding tipped her over the probably because the groom to be might have been a dusty.
Being suicidal twists the way you see everything. I have children I love with my whole heart. When I was extremely depressed I attempted suicide & I thought of also killing my children. Not because I hated them .. because I *LOVED* them. My twisted thinking went like this: This world is awful. All they will do is suffer throughout their entire life. I love them too much to let that happen. I want to *save* them from having to be in this cruel world. If I can help them be in a much better place, that is my duty because I want what's best for them. See? she didn't have to hate her kids to do this. She could have also been thinking this horrid way. Btw, I can't believe I was that *sick* once. My children were never touched & they never knew what I was thinking. I'm so sorry I was so disturbed. But, when you are, you don't know it.
Well said, I couldn’t agree more. Being clinically depressed really twists your thinking and reasoning, its a completely different state of mind. Not just being sad. Especially if its long term, over years or even decades.
Thank you for explaining this to people. I hope Grande reads your statement. He clearly missed this one.
I have suffered with GENERALized anxiety and depression all my life but would never take a life including my own. I follow the 10 comMANdMENts as my BIBLE.
Crwlh6721 Probably the most empathetic comment I've read so far.
@@lm7092 exactly! Dr Grande missed this one big time.
Not only he missed but gave a chance to narcs to flood the comment section with self gratulatory comment like : how could her kill her daughters just to get revenge on her husband? What kind of mother was she?
I have two children but I will never ever harm them. They are the apple of my eyes!
Ok, no they can go back to their kids to take a pic and post it on FB captioning reads : greatest mom ever!
Ultimate narcissist - you can see it in all the photos of her; trying to overshadow her daughters in them!
Your getting so close to one million subs;, Dr. Grande. Its so exciting and so well deserved. I can't wait till you hit that sweet spot.
People who have never experienced that kind of mental distress, often don't understand the one who does. If they can see a physical problem, they are sympathetic and kind,. But emotional pain is often ''just in their head'. Thank you for your thoughts on this tragedy.
Most people with the same mental health issues would never harm anybody, let alone their family. Some people are just evil, although that's a word that has gone out of fashion.
It's also a religious word that removes any attempt at understanding the individual. Evil, hell, heaven and god are all imaginary creations meant to give a few men unlimited power over others.
I always considered the word "evil" as a really shallow description and not very educational. People who are capable to commit a premeditated murder under such circumstances/backgrounds have certain psychopathological traits like psychopathy/sociopathy and narcissism.
@@oww161 Not very educational is the kindest way of putting it.
*People who have severe/ongoing mental health issues such as this woman; should not only NOT be allowed to carry concealed, but not allowed to own **_any_** gun, period! This would be a small step in the effort to curb gun violence!*
I agree. I can't believe her family did not take it upon themselves to make her gun "disappear". Especially with all of her previous suicide attempts.
I don't understand why people argue that everyone should have guns.
They are NOT allowed to own guns, that's why she was denied a permit. This is the core of gun control, laws on the books are not being upheld. Every state in the US is required to do a background check, but the enforcement is almost non-existent thanks to lobbying by the NRA. "Straw" purchases, or buying guns for a person denied a permit happen all the time. Enforcing this one law would be a huge step in curbing gun violence.
@Evanjuleen I dont either. There are a lot of people out there who should never ever even have access to them, much less own them!
Even for those of us who grew up before social media. There's always families in the neighborhood you think are perfect. Then its discovered decades later they were hiding some type of weirdness.
Thank you for lightening the mood for a few moments
This case has blown my mind for years
I credit you for keeping strong doing these kind of cases man. 🙏
I had a friend who fought like hell in a custody suit during a very messy divorce for the dog that her husband absolutely adored. After spending thousands of dollars and a couple of years in court, she was awarded custody of the dog. She probably had him put down to spite her ex-husband. He was devastated. I don’t put it past her that she would’ve done the same thing if they had had children. Absolutely despicable.
I never spoke to her again
Happy Holidays mate! ❤
A huge problem in this country is that after a patient receives inpatient mental health treatment, they often don’t get set up with ongoing therapy sessions. Someone who is struggling enough to end up in an inpatient facility cannot set that up on their own. Hospitals should be coordinating this for their patients but for whatever reason, they don’t.
I agree - our country needs a much more robust mental health system - & ongoing, no charge treatment for those struggling. Mental health get very little support - because those who have significant mental problems usually have little to no money. Like with everything, $$$ trumps all.
11:36 "He had invited Christy to use the gun on herself." So elegantly put, I aint even mad at that request. 😁
Dr Grande, I just finished watching an older video you made of a really good role play of a counselling session with a woman who was contemplating suicide and as you interviewed her it became more and more clear that she really didn't care about anything or anybody and didn't think anyone cared about her and felt hopeless and worthless and ultimately suicidal. In a way you can see this same dip happening here where a woman who once was very aware of the love she had for her children, slipped so far into a deep depression that it enabled her to carry out a callous murder of two people who she probably still loved but the depression had just wiped out any feelings she had for them or herself. She was truly out of her mind in my opinion but it seems to have built up over years. A very sad story.
So very sad. I suffer with mental illness and I'm not ashamed to seek professional help if my thoughts are off. I don't understand how she didn't raise the red flag on herself.
Dr grande when are you going to do the peculiar case of Cindy James?? You gotta do that one, it’s such a case study!
I love when people say “I would have ___”. Until you have been through a situation you don’t know what your reaction will be. You will probably freeze. I was in a situation like that where I froze not that severe nobody died but I never would’ve thought for a moment I would have froze until it happened. That’s why we have fire drills. That’s why more places should have live shooter and other types of emergency drills
Great shirt, Dr Grande! ❤️
These comments defending this family annihilator or saying "she was in pain" are disgusting. She terrorized her family for years!!! Their father tried to shelter the girls from the pain THEY felt. The amount of apologetics here when a woman is the family annihilator, makes me sick. I'm a woman, and the excuses need to stop. If a man did the exact same thing in the exact same circumstances, women would be screaming about what a narcissist murderous POS he was, and they'd be right.
Thank you Dr. Grande.
I hope many people watch this to learn and to understand things they may be going through or went through.
This extreme case is shocking but there are still signs and opportunities to be learned
OMG! What a horrible crime! Murdering your children for any reason is horrible! What could Jason have been guilty of in her mind? How does murder fix anything? Thanks Doc, this is so painful!
I will never forget this case. I was living in Houston at the time and I remember my heart actually broke when I heard about this in the news. Those poor babies. Their father may have lived but he will never be ok.
Yep-the comments made about the family not understanding the depressive’s issues. Got that. So many folks look at mental health issues as a ‘failing’ or a lack of will power of the afflicted individual. As if the person ‘does this on purpose’. You know, Dr. G…why is it if we break a bone friends and family rush us to the hospital, etc, but have a ‘broken brain’ …oftentimes no help or understanding at all. Education-is so lacking and necessary in this country….
The flipside is that many people act as though people have no control or responsibility whatsoever regarding their mental issues. Both attitudes contribute to compounding those issues imo
Control. One daughter leaving , the other one is an adult; therefore no leverage against the husband. She is left alone in her crazy.
Thank you, very compassionate analysis. 🌺
So glad you did this video.
Dr Grande videos matter to me.
I would be very curious to see the results of an examination of Christy Sheat's brain post mortem, though I doubt an autopsy was performed since the cause of death was known. I'm just reminded of the case of Charles Whitman, the mass shooter whose personality completely changed due to a tumor pressing on his amygdala. How else does a seemingly loving mother gun down her daughters? Then again, alcohol is a hell of a drug. ☹
@@cht2162 or she’s just pure evil
Alcohol affects women in a particularly nasty way. Coming from the son of an alcoholic mother, she becomes a very nasty person. Almost like a demon. She can sommon some particularly evil and nasty demons during an alcoholic episode.
This would have been interesting!
@@truthsocialmedia it can do that to men as well. The thing I find strange is that she suddenly hurt her daughters instead of her husband. Even if they had argued before that, it seems like the build up, or slow decline, or whatever it would have been, to that point, was very abrupt. Could be that I just don't know the whole story (obviously I don't), and there was a lot more to it.
@@cht2162 Do you really think that Alzheimers could explain it? Wondering if it's possible to have such a big change in disposition without having other manifestations of dementia, so presumably in the early stages. Alcohol also makes that worse. (Probably safe to say it makes everything worse.)
Hello Dr. Grande❤️ Thanks for the new video! They're always much appreciated.
I appreciate your videos so much, Dr. Grande! Interesting stories that I can listen to in the background while I work. :) Loving the red shirt, by the way!
Amazing analysis. Dr. Grande you have succeeded in showing us the case through the shooter's perspective and helped us understand how she got to this point.
I hope people start noticing the mental health struggles a loved one is going through and get them help at the earliest.
In Sweden only criminals and hunters have firearms. There are strict laws how to have the hunting weapon in a locked cabinet and the ammunition in an other cabinet. 🇸🇪
Actually it's very strange for me that Americans can easily have access to guns.
Sweden is Sweden
"Only Criminals'
Well that's reassuring
😆
@@salmathecopt7969 - I know where I'd rather live. The American obsession with guns comes at a hideous cost of which the tragic death of those two young women is a tiny part.
@@salmathecopt7969
You have to be American to come up with something that stupid.
One point you made Dr Grande, I'd like reiterate regarding depression being seen a failure because it returns. I have depression that brings some real lows. I take medication and have a great doctor I've seen for years. I have had to explain more than once that it is an illness that happens to be in my head that cannot be cured. It is managed. I can draw a parallel to type 1 diabetes in that it isn't cured, it's managed. Sometimes it clicks, sometimes not so much.
Obviously, tragically, this was not the case with Mrs. Sheets.
Jordan Peterson says to be who you are behind closed doors out in the real world. In modern times, because of social media's effect on one's psychology, people often portrays being complete and happy while hiding deep within themselves their inner shadow. Which never comes out unless some form of external release presents itself. Running from pain by seeking pleasure or by inflicting harm on others. Socialization in these times is in a sense, a finite example of mutually assured destruction. If someone else sinks the rest must sink as well.
spot on, I'm a big fan of Peterson, a fellow Canadian Norwegian!! But I'm also smelling a big "Mood Disorder" with this lady, and if you're even been on the RECEIVING END of people like this, it's virtually impossible for a lay person (or police officer) to handle, even if you're expecting it. It's an attack, and a big ouch.
Your videos often make me realize how much worse things can be. My own problems seem small and benign compared to these extreme cases. And you’re right about both alcohol and firearms-they’re a bad mix and too often lead to tragic outcomes.
For the Dad I think if someone I loved had a gun pointing at me and people I loved I would be overwhelmed and just utterly shocked. It probably happened so fast and unexpectedly. This is why people get post traumatic stress disorder because these events are surreal and devastating.
I like that you also went over what her husband may have been feeling instead of judging him.
"I don't see why she shouldn't have a gun."
American lawmakers.
Really good point at the close there, Dr. Grande. It is incredibly refreshing to hear an honest attempt of conveying that type of perspective. As usual, you are on point.❤️
This case broke my heart, the fact that she went back inside the house to reload the gun and proceeded to pursue her daughter again is truly sickening. What a sad case.🥺😢
Thank you for the review Dr. Grande, your conclusion was perfect. I hope you have a restful Sunday with your family.❤️
Right! That totally means she had plenty of time to “cool off” and gain her composure. She made a conscious and planned decision to proceed. It’s absolutely unthinkable.
One of the things I like most about his videos are the little jokes that are delivered in such a sterile and serious way... I love your channel and have learned quite a bit as a nerd who loves criminal psychology
Doc, really appreciate your insight into this story. Her pain must have been so deep and profound, so many years. Just awful. Thanks again for your dedication, love as always 🐈🐾❤️❤️
She was in such pain, I'm wondering why she hadn't tried to kill herself since she acquired the gun. Instead she killed her daughters, her husband's daughters on his bday, and her soon-to-be-son-in-law's fiance, on a day his family probably already booked their flights and hotels to the wedding. Fun. She really should get zero pity, there's no way she wasn't a monster throughout. I just have a very hard time believing she wasn't a terrible monster throughout her life. You don't wake up and make decisions like that.
@@crystalkohlbrenner214 okay
Man, that’s like the ultimate punishment. Tragedy
Thank you as always. I think the multiple personalities case on Netflix would be interesting to analyze - Billy Milligan.
Been waiting a long time for this one. Thanks, Doc.
Yay !!!! it's Dr Grande time again.
Oh Dr.Grande. I feel for the whole family. It’s heartbreaking all the trauma. Well done Dr.Grande.
Why did the husband allow her to keep the gun? She was denied a concealed carrier’s license? Surly he could inform police/ psychiatrist that she wasn’t stable enough to own a gun.
Am amazed anyone with that kind of mental history can own a gun? It was a disaster just waiting to happen.
Just incredibly sad.
Yes for sure it was a disaster waiting to happen. People probably think that "it will never happen to them" and he was going to end the marriage anyway.
it's Texas and just because she can't have a concealed carry doesn't mean she cannot recieve a gun as an inheritance. i absolutely am for stricter gun laws but you blaming the husband but just as easily could blame the grandfather that left it to her.
I agree. Someone in the family could have hid the gun from her, or something! If for no other reason, than the fact that she had a history if multiple suicide attempts.
@@JennyT101 Someone should have hid the make up too! That was a cry for help in itself.
15 million views seems correct for well researched videos! Thanks Doc!
'she had a few bullet points to cover'
Yikes, that's rough.
Yeah. It was a... killer joke.
(Hides from tomatoes)
🍅 🍅 🍅
This is so sad. The one daughter's kind explanation of her in a FB post is heartbreaking.
Please make a video about Nicole Johnson, Baltimore aunt whom was found with her niece's and her nephew's bodies in a car.
Sad story. Thank you for your sober analysis Dr. Grande.
I wonder what she looked like without full face and eye makeup. Seems she spent a lot of time on her personal appearance. You mentioned her wanting to make it appear as though she was well-adjusted and had an ideal life; is the cosmetics over-usage part of that desire of appearance of perfection?
I think you are onto something. She was perfectly over- done. Like beauty queen over done
With women who are depressed some use clothes and grooming to cloak their depression. And I know of one psychiatrist who blithely told a friend of mine, who was suicidal, that she couldn't be that depressed because she had dressed up for the appointment! He also almost killed another friend of mine by over medicating her. Eventually the clinic removed him from counseling.
It also seems kind of stereotypical for Texas though.
If you wanna give the appearance of perfection then you're gonna try to look perfect too.
@@TianXiaoMao
Haha very true.