Beyond mute | Shaela Niles | TEDxSnoIsleLibraries

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  • Опубліковано 12 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 62

  • @Betty-n7x
    @Betty-n7x 6 місяців тому +2

    For the children and adults still being let down, for the ones who were blessed with the right support and conquered this in childhood - you are warriors too, for the ones who had to go into adulthood with selective mutism, myself included - our strength is unyielding.
    For those of us who were yelled at because we were mistaken for being rude. For those of us who were bullied because the perpetrators could see we didn’t have our voice and knew they could get away with abuse.
    Now that I’m finding my Voice, I will never stop fighting for your rights. I will never stop speaking out for us. In your hearts, in your struggle and in your strength - I have found community, I have found my true family 🩷

  • @usernameunauthorised
    @usernameunauthorised Рік тому +10

    I had selective mutism when I was a child all through adolescence. I was never diagnosed. I just had to slowly outgrow it on my own. One day when I think I was around 29 years old or so I learned about selective mutism online by accident. I think it still has an impact on me up until today, because it interfered with my mental and social growth. I feel like there is a hole deep inside of me that cannot be filled.

    • @Betty-n7x
      @Betty-n7x 6 місяців тому

      I feel the same. Have you read the book ‘selective mutism in our own words’ gives me hope of a full recovery as well as the book ‘I have something to say’

  • @SG-zx2rq
    @SG-zx2rq 4 роки тому +10

    For those of you that are unaware selective mutism can also be a social anxiety trait of autism in girls.
    Look into it, the more awareness we have, the less we will judge each other.

  • @gobsmackednumpty8927
    @gobsmackednumpty8927 7 років тому +61

    I had selective mutism between 3-10 years old at school and when spending time with certain relatives, nobody ever seems to understand how hard it is (except former/current sufferers) and it's so incredibly debilitating, it's not just not talking, it's eye contact, body language, and generally terrible, terrible anxiety. I went through periods where I was too scared to run in public, blow my nose (I still struggle with this one) and more. Not to mention none of the therapy I received actually worked, it made it so much worse, not only did I have to worry about how I do literally everything all the time, but now extra pressure is added to talk, which makes it even more impossible to talk. People who deny that it's a real disorder make me so angry, "it's just because she doesn't want to talk," Christ no, believe me I really, really wanted to talk to you, but I just couldn't, I just couldn't do it, whenever I tried to my throat would close up, my brain would enter extreme anxiety mode like a car was rushing towards me or something, it wouldn't let me speak. Even though I was diagnosed at a very young age (luckily) it still wasn't seen as a viable reason to not speak, my parents threatened to put me up for adoption, my teachers bullied me over it, trying to force me to speak, and I had hardly any friends. Life is so hard when you are experiencing a terrible mental disorder completely alone as a small child (not to mention some problems at home as well, BAD problems, but I don't think I could write about that)

    • @madinasyzdykova8784
      @madinasyzdykova8784 7 років тому +2

      how did you overcome selective mutism

    • @Lincorn1
      @Lincorn1 6 років тому +4

      your parents threatened you and your teachers bullied you....... WHAT!!!!!

    • @karyabugday
      @karyabugday 5 років тому +2

      I had it probably since kindergarten when i was 4-6?? And i still have i’m 12 now 13 to november and always thought i was just Extremely shy but then i found a video about selective mutism a couple of months or something ago and showed it to my mom and now idk what’s gonna happen if i’m gonna get help or not??

    • @karyabugday
      @karyabugday 5 років тому +3

      When i was in 0 grade (in Denmark there is a 0 grade) my first teacher (i had 3 teachers during 0 grade because my first teacher wasn’t a teacher at our School anymore) so my first teacher kinda forced me to talk and that’s something that didn’t help. And i lived in Germany before moving to Denmark and did kindergarten in Germany but never in Denmark so when i started School in Denmark i could not speak Danish only my dad could

    • @PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim
      @PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim 5 років тому +1

      Wow. Your parents were horrible! I wouldn’t have talked to them either, if I were you 😡

  • @emynay5522
    @emynay5522 6 років тому +47

    I have SM. I‘m glad I watched this video, it gives me hope and makes me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you Shaela Niles

    • @aaryaparr9219
      @aaryaparr9219 3 роки тому +1

      I wanna be friend withyou. I hav sm too

  • @homeagain8655
    @homeagain8655 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience Shaela.
    As a school nurse, this was very insightful and will help me understand and repsond appropriately to kids who seem "shy", we have a couple of them and 1 with a diagnoses SM disorder.
    Also, this is a great reminder to accept kids as they are and remember that our projected expectations of them will only hurt them, not support them.

  • @MelissaAnne312
    @MelissaAnne312 8 років тому +19

    Great speech! I had selective mutism from kindergarten until 4th grade. I spoke at home but never in school. As I got older, I spoke to a few classmates when in a private area and I had some friends. I had speech therapy all throughout elementary school and that helped a lot in me overcoming sm. Seeing this and some their videos on here has inspired me to share my story.

  • @AntonioCarlos-mq2hk
    @AntonioCarlos-mq2hk 5 років тому +21

    I'm so happy and proud of you. I know exactly how difficult to have a SM in the family because i have a 16 years old kid just like you. I don't care if my kid will crawl out from this disorder for 10 or 20 more years from today, for as long as she will be like you one day. You really inspire me that there is always hope in life. Thank you for this wonderful video and your speech was very motivational to parents and people with SM.

    • @sailorspills3025
      @sailorspills3025 3 роки тому +3

      Dont worry I used to be SM! But my 20s, i was one of the most outgoing people I know.. confident because I know that I don’t need people.

  • @hannahhelton3789
    @hannahhelton3789 4 роки тому +4

    Her soft and steady voice makes people listen more. That is a gift.

  • @ellie-pandathelittlebears5550
    @ellie-pandathelittlebears5550 8 років тому +25

    amazing. I've always felt like it was perfectly okay to be silent and a homebody. nobody seems to think that is okay. why not though? I have a loving family and a beautiful life. I don't need to talk to everyone or leave my home if it isn't important. it doesn't make me broken or wrong. we are all different.

  • @unicornlight8251
    @unicornlight8251 7 років тому +13

    Thankyou Shaela

  • @elaowczarczyk7143
    @elaowczarczyk7143 4 роки тому +5

    Thank you for the video!
    I had SM all through my childhood, teachers thought I had a learning disability and sent me to a special school for disabled kids and stayed there for 4 years. It also ruined me more then helped me, I thought really lowly about myself and thought something was wrong with me when it said “learning disability” on my report card.
    This lead to other complications like Eating disorder, depression, panic disorder, and OCD.
    Today I’m 23, I’m in college doing accounting where I feel comfortable with talking out loud to the teachers and to my peers around me. Still suffer from anxiety and see a therapist often.

  • @lunatic1007
    @lunatic1007 8 років тому +8

    I love the new phase of life this wonderful person has found herself in. Go, Shaela, you got it girl!

  • @JamieSuehowdoyoudo
    @JamieSuehowdoyoudo 5 років тому +8

    Now I that I know what I have I feel relieved that I'm not alone

  • @tiffanyfeldman2791
    @tiffanyfeldman2791 3 роки тому +2

    Love that she overcomes her anxiety to share her story to help inspire others!

  • @irenemueller3888
    @irenemueller3888 3 роки тому +2

    Keep raising your hand because you are amazing and the world needs you!

  • @charleenliu7402
    @charleenliu7402 2 роки тому +1

    I had this syndrome when I was in primary school, year 3 or 4, but it didn't last too long. I can remember it happened to me once when being asked to read aloud the text book, I could not open my mouth and I stood there hopeless, teacher got angry and asked what was wrong with me.
    Mutism never happened to me again in life, but I still have anxiety and depression, sometimes better sometimes worse.

  • @glassofwhitewhine
    @glassofwhitewhine 4 роки тому +2

    I have goosebumps. I am inspired by your faith in yourself and determination to have a different life experience. I applaud you.

  • @kide123
    @kide123 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you thank you thank you❤ u have no idea how seen u make me feel

  • @tonyhatman
    @tonyhatman 10 місяців тому +1

    Wonderful. This is inspirational

  • @barbaraaraojo504
    @barbaraaraojo504 5 років тому +12

    I discovered my SM few months ago from my psychologyst and turning 30 this year. 😢

    • @Cervantesbracetty
      @Cervantesbracetty 5 років тому +4

      Barbara Araojo I am just discovering this today and turning 26 this year

    • @Cervantesbracetty
      @Cervantesbracetty 5 років тому +7

      I have difficulty keeping jobs because I can’t speak

    • @Cervantesbracetty
      @Cervantesbracetty 5 років тому +3

      I have difficulty have any kind of friendships

    • @Cervantesbracetty
      @Cervantesbracetty 5 років тому +2

      I just started therapy and psychiatry about 6 months ago I am going to bring this up to both of them

    • @Cervantesbracetty
      @Cervantesbracetty 5 років тому +3

      How difficult has your SM been in your life? I feel it has controlled my entire existence. This video gave me hope though

  • @justthandie1285
    @justthandie1285 5 років тому +4

    *hugs* Not the extreme you experience, but like you its been like the gears between my brain, tounge, jaw muscles, lungs, diaphragm, et all just refused to do what I really wanted. The more I wanted to speak the worse it would get. Keep rocking at your own beat, the rest will just have to deal! :)

    • @reiiiiisan
      @reiiiiisan 3 роки тому +1

      right it's like I've been paralyzed all of a sudden and it sucks bc others won't know what's going on without me talking,, perhaps writing on a sheet of paper would help. we got this, let's keep going somehow 💪

  • @tiffanyfeldman2791
    @tiffanyfeldman2791 3 роки тому +3

    A flower doesn’t flourish at night

  • @meloyelokarma7932
    @meloyelokarma7932 5 років тому +7

    Thank you for this video.I'll look up these groups you mentioned - Toastmasters & Youth Playhouses Theater.Good luck with your Social Anxiety Disorder! I have S.A.D.with S.M.

    • @barbaraaraojo504
      @barbaraaraojo504 5 років тому +1

      I have SM as well, and turning 30 this year

  • @fh233
    @fh233 7 років тому +13

    I had SM and when I told me friends thy didn’t accept it as a real disorder. One of them went through surgery when they were little and said that they had a REAL disorder. How do I respond to that and tell them just because I had a different challenge it doesn’t make my challenges less hard than hers.

    • @sophie1564
      @sophie1564 6 років тому +2

      I have also had this problem! Maybe you could also try explaining to your friends the science behind SM and the cause of it. A true friend will accept your challenges and try to support you no matter what! :) Hope this helps

  • @kiqueta7314
    @kiqueta7314 4 роки тому +9

    I do not agree that SM is a gift. It is not in any way, shape, or form, a gift.
    It is terrible to have.

    • @cuekinaja
      @cuekinaja 3 роки тому +2

      She overcame it, that's why in retrospect, she can think of it as a gift that helped shape who she is today.

  • @marioarcari7649
    @marioarcari7649 3 роки тому +1

    WOW that was awsome she gave hope

  • @icebear1465
    @icebear1465 5 років тому +5

    Ice Bear can relate to this.

  • @readingnewboy
    @readingnewboy 4 роки тому +1

    WOW what a speech thankyou X

  • @barbaraaraojo504
    @barbaraaraojo504 5 років тому +6

    I have SM and struggling finding a job, with unsupported FAMILY! I need HELP

    • @cutiepoodle
      @cutiepoodle 5 років тому +3

      I can relate, and empathize. I'm in the same boat.

    • @Cervantesbracetty
      @Cervantesbracetty 5 років тому +1

      Same here

    • @barbaraaraojo504
      @barbaraaraojo504 4 роки тому +1

      @@TheMiriam333 I live in the Philippines

    • @barbaraaraojo504
      @barbaraaraojo504 4 роки тому +4

      @@TheMiriam333 I'm OK and getting better 😊 I found a therapist (psychologist) and he helped me 😊🙏 more than 1 year therapy

    • @barbaraaraojo504
      @barbaraaraojo504 4 роки тому +1

      @@TheMiriam333 ❤❤❤