Is No Contact The Right Move???
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- Should I go No Contact? Is that the right move for my situation?
Coach Craig talks about the difficult decision of going no contact and no longer reaching out to an ex.
Going no contact after a break up can be an incredibly scary decision.
I know how confusing it can be as I’ve been in that position before. Everything inside you thinks that reaching out is the best decision.
Our anxiety often times makes us so scared and confused that we make the wrong decision. I see people going no contact when there’s no reason to be. And I also see people reaching out to their ex when it’s only going to make things worse.
Firstly thank you for your time, and hello from the UK. I think I may have a proper challenge of a situation here not one you’d come across everyday, Id say its very bespoke and has so many nuts and bolts to it. I really hope you can help, I’m at a total loss. And although at first sight it may seem it was a short relationship, this has been something brewing for years, that there’s always been more to us. I hope I haven’t rambled too much an gone over my word count.
Couple in their early 30’s who dated for 4 months
• Known her for 3 years (not long after meeting we did kiss on a night out and she made the move) and there's always been that spark between us, she would float in and out of my life, but she kept going back to the father of her daughter (which is the only person I could understand
•
• So then Last February I had come home from another country and found she was dating someone new (now I knew why I was being ignored) I deleted her from my life. To which I got picked up on in no less than 24 hours yea she noticed.
• We rowed I told her to F**K off as she was with this guy
• She kept trying to message me every so often through last year
• I eventually gave in in October last year and started to talk to her as she messaged me, and things just kind of developed from there, even though she knew I was about to leave for upto a year
•• Admitted that she regrets it took so long to admit her feelings about me
• Joked that she was pregnant by me, but said if she was she would deal with i
• kept telling me how much she missed me
• joked about marriage a lot
• told me she would love to have my children
• she ends up being really ill into January owing to the pregnancy, and then gets messed around by the clinic for the procedur
• When I came home I ended up giving her money here and there as the father of her child was failing to do so on time
• She then asked to borrow money to pay her nursery bill for her daughter, which of course I lent her. (likewise I haven’t chased to get this back)
• The last time we went out it was a double date with her friends in which the night ended up being me an her up until 5am talking and it was a great weekend, when we went to bed even though she was bleeding she instigated sleeping with me
• I suggested we needed to take some time and space especially as I had my friends funeral and that braking up was in hast
She didn’t like the idea of not being able to talk to me, I said she could message me if she wanted which she did every other day.
• A week or so later she asks to meet up which we do, (I think this is where I messed it up I was a bit to forward with my feelings) we talk about us and what we should do she agrees we should go on a date and then 3 hours later after leaving her she text me to say I just want to go back to being friends.
• I refused and she doesn’t like it
• Deleted and blocked me on facebook but not on anything else
initial typical knee jerk reactions, but left her alone for 3 weeks then sent her a message which was a nice message put some humour in it, I didn’t say I love you I just want to be with you. I just said all these things have pushed us apart its nothing we have done. And that I love you, I miss you, and I want to be with you but id never force you. You know where I am if you change your mind.
Our last contact was basically a follow up to my last message of telling her you know where I am if you change your mind
However a week before I messaged to see how she was and she started to say I’m so sad I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I didn’t think this would affect me the way it has. Then shut back down on me. This then turned into an argument in which she became so defensive and kept saying I’m the one who doesn’t want to be friends. I should add in this argument she said we were good but my feelings just changed.
What do I do Craig, I’ve been silent on her for over 3 weeks now am I really doing the right thing with no contact, I’m trying to understand what exactly is going on? Can you make any sense? Is there something I did wrong?
I do have suspicions she is dating someone new from work now as he’s now in her facebook profile pic as I have been shown, but her relationship status hasn’t changed as yet
I want to add for every person doing no contact, get real busy like crazy. You WILL feel better and more focused on your purpose.
Dominic Cruz working out is the best
Not too busy though. Its also important to process grieving. Cry when you feel sad and missing the person. It helps in healing.
This whole Facebook blocking and deleting stuff is so childish. Facebook will ruin a relationship
It ruined mine :(
Kk Vs ruined mine too
It's not Facebook that's the problem, it's idiots that wants to use power ego tripping tactics like that to punish some people and not properly communicate with them.
Ouch, lol
Regina Gordon I really really wish I had. I now have Facebook but not my soulmate
I really believe from the bottom of my heart that the best teachers are the ones who lived it and are survivors.
Technically every school teacher is a school survivor
It's definitely difficult. If she stonewalls and completely disappears, do not contact at all. if she is confused about her feelings and all, go no contact. The worst thing you can do is deal with emotional baggage.
PoppinDom7 thanks brother. No-contact is the most difficult Psychological stressing mixed with emotional pain that I have ever faced in my life. Every time I start it, I can't take the agony and anxiety. My ex wife had mixed feelings. At first used to tell me, "I think about it" when I asked her out. Now she questions, "what for ?" "Nothing is going to change." At one point I was texting too much crap so she was just reading and at one point texted, "start getting the idea that we won't go back toguether." Ouch....crap..
carlos cabrera Ouch! I'm sorry you're going through this, but I think you and I both know it's time to let go. Nothing you do will change her mind, you must leave her alone for good. Find yourself and start dating other women. I swore to myself I wasn't going to be hung up on my ex after 3 years and 8 months later, I found someone new. We've only been dating for 3 months and it's been great. You will feel better soon; focus on your purpose and mission in life.. Let me know if you want to talk, I'm usually on Facebook or skype.
@@DominicCruz u there?
J J damn straight I am lol
@@DominicCruz ur skype is dominics.cruz?
If I had to pick one area of my life to be easy, I’d pick relationships. I’m cool with hustling to make money and pursue my passions, but I’m not about this whole relationship wasteland.
Hitting 50 days since the breakup and 47 days of NC at midnight. 6 mins away.
Coach Craig you crack me up. Lol I always cheer up when I see your videos.
You are awesome dude, you don’t know how much I appreciate understanding why I feel the way I do... a million thanks!
When I was 1 years old, I was sent outside the country to live with grandma, cousins, aunts and uncles and was away for 2 years or so. I returned to the states and my lovely narcissist mom cut off all contact with my relatives until I saw them like a decade later. No I'm not messed up at all.
Hey craig I'm 18 and I dont want my parents to see that I paid for a break up service how does it show up in a bank statement?
Haha ... Ey man dw about it your parents will forgive you
Rowed means to strongly argue or fight. It's a U.K. term.
The whole cutting it off for no real reason and starting up with a new guy screams borderline personality disorder to me.
I love this channel it's really good
We broke up 4 months ago after 7 years of marriage , no cheating .. just trust issues, i did not give him the trust he deserve because he has more time with his friends.We have child together. I am the one who first initiate the break up due to anger then the next day i am trying to fix everything but he said he wants space . But from the first month that we broke up every time i am talking to him it always leads to an arguments. I messed up. I really want him back . But he so mean to me .. Every time he borrowing our child he wants me to be the one who give our child myself. I'm trying to apply no contact rule.but i broke it always . Is there a chance to get him back even we argued a lot even we're separated :( thanks coach
Women do that with me all of the time and it is so confusing, a show dedicated as to why would be appreciated
Row, means to have an argument, if you use the word fight in other parts of the world people assume violence.
Yes, if you just want to be friends is going to add stress if you don’t mean it-
When you say first 2-3 years of life, do you mean 0-3 years, because that’s what my family and I think.
Row= to argue
Might be helpful to add that row rhymes with cow :)
lol I had no idea
Don't worry, Craig. We Brits talk weird ;)
@@mst1740 Hey, its the original English and much more expressive.
I'm going on 30 days of no contact. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but I have to admit it's very difficult not to reach out to him. He tried to text me the first week, it I didn't respond. He hasn't tried since. I catch myself looking at his daughters Facebook just to see what's going on. It makes me miss him even more. He wasn't good for me. He lied and used me, but I fell for him hard, so it's been really difficult getting over him. I'm strong most days. But there are days where I am a basket case. I doubt everything and everyone in my life. will it get better?
MrsShellCruz you have to determine how big were those lies and if he would change his behavior in order not to fall on the same old relationship..
MrsShellCruz who initiated the break up ? How did it go with you ? It's been two months
I'm sorry I just saw this. I made a huge mistake. I contacted him thinking I could be strong. After All I hadn't had sex in almost 4 months and I wanted to be with him again. I knew how I felt whn we did and wanted that feeling again. I acted like that was all I wanted from him and he liked that. But guess what I cried halfway through it. Her seemed to really care and held me. I thought he really missed me and cared. Boy was I wrong, AGAIN!! My feelings cane back and he did NOT reciprocate. He said i used him for sex and that's all I wanted and he was fine with it so don't try to change it now. He called me crazy. Ugh! I feel so stupid, AGAIN!! But even through all of that and can't get him out of my head. It feels like there's a spell over my life. It's horrible. I can't talk to anyone seriously. I feel like everyone is trying to run game on me. What should I do?
MrsShellCruz who initiated the break up and why ?
Coach Kenneth what should I do if my ex is an empath and we work at the same job and she doesn’t speak to me ever since we broke up? I’ve been doing no contact for almost a month. Did I do the right thing?
Update?
We rowed means we argued (a row (pronounced like ow when you hurt yourself) is an argument in British English)
it was the abortion where it went wrong. she probably wanted to see if he wanted the kid and when he agreed to the abortion + did not return from the new zealand trip, she emotionally withdrew. cause she was obviously into him. she expected him to tell her that he wanted the baby and support her with everything. that is just my view as a woman
TheArgella I agree with you. Where he did it wrong is that he never proposed or talk about building a family, while she gave so many hints on being interested in it. I guess at some point she realized the relationship was going nowhere?
yes, cause sometimes as a human being (not just as a woman), you need the confirmation that the other person is going to support you no matter what. he just failed to do that.
@@windyc3473 I mean they werent together that long. She seems like she was fast forwarding the relationship
How do you do no contact when you still live together and also have a child? I'm hoping to move out next month. Any advice helps.
You only talk to her about the kid, practical stuff and be polite about everything. Other than that do your thing, don't overdo it by letting her see you do stuff out of the ordinary, but don't go out of your way to hide it from her. Be all about your kid, help with the practical stuff, be polite and don't get into drawn out talks, reciprocate, but let her do all of the initiating when it comes to talking about stuff. My ex broke up with me May 1st, we have a kid together and were living together, but I moved out the day she told me. I am fortunate enough to have parents that could take me in, but by the third day I had gotten all my stuff. Get all the practical shit out of the way ASAP and start NC (no reachout that is)... only reciprocate whatever she says or does towards you. Be clear about not being her friend, but still wanting to make it work... AND concentrate 120% on becoming a better you... do what you love to do and keep at it, be a soldier. I have my son on weekends and having to see her and having him over brings back so many feelings and memories, but you can't let either one of them know. When you move out, prepare yourself for the many feelings that are gonna arise from being separated but still having to see her and the emotions being with your child might bring about. I look at it like this; I'm a soldier in the trenches during the week, come the weekend I HAVE to run up outta those trenches and face the enemy... Know that you can't escape your enemy ie all of those mixed emotions, which will arise when when seing her and to some degree your kid. A good soldier is one who knows he's already dead... But you'll not die, you will only get stronger. I don't know about you, but I was a born again Christian before she broke up with me, now I'm TRULY reborn and this has only strenghtened my connection with God... If you don't know Him yet, go find Him. I found out that repenting deeply for my inadiquities and confiding in God has helped just as much if not more than skyping an emailing with Craig... which I recommend you to do. Jesus and Craig are your best friends 😉 Hope this helps brother, I feel for and with you.
Zak
He was blocked but he can always use a different profile to view her page- I think I would prefer not knowing- if you’re blocked, you are blocked
Using Aliases online
« Rowed », rhyming with « loud », means « argued »; I infer that this must not be commonplace in the USA.
Hi guys! I want to ask your opinion if you could help me out! I am dating this girl for 7 months and we had the "talk" at 3 months mark and told me she is not seeing me as potential future boyfriend at that time but she still wanted to date me. In the the previous months she acted wierd. Drunk calls me to come over and once she started to cry. Other time she texted "I miss your arms around me", and "miss u".
Because of the exam period we meet once a week or even less. In public she acts like a gf, holds my hand and kisses me...
I dont wanna misunderstood it or anything but do you think it is still possible to fall in love after 7 months? I would like to be bf and gf but dont wanna bring up the "talk" again (was my bad at the first time).
Thanks for your time to read and give your opinion!!
I need your help Craig I am lesbain my girlfriend and I us to fight to much but one day she just left me like that I have it seen her in 1 month but I have been sending messages to her but I have stop but I am confused because she still has picture of me on FB what should I do ?? Please help me I feel like I am going crazy we been 3 years together
Ive been done for Months now, it's been 9 Months, my hopes are long gone. all I try to do is move on, but I can't, I just can't. dating has been pretty bad, only been on one date, I've talked to other people but nothing interesting, but girls also seem not to be interested in me. I'm just so tired already. I'm really lost, I have no idea what else to do anymore.
Emilio Hernandez tell me about it. I signed up to every dating app. I swiped 200 pics of women. I select 50 and not one replies back...lol then I get 50 others ugly as Gozilla sending me "likes." It's not easy to find someone that matches. I gave up already...lol
well both of you need to start valuing yourselves, once you really get that the rest will come on its own. Talking to hot girls normally, being confident and happy with your lifes even if youre with a girl or not.... girls will WANT to be with you guys, but not if youre cosntantly depressed and desperately trying to find a way to reattract someone to your lives. You need to know you dont need anyone to be happy, if they come, good for them, if they dont... their loss. This wont happen until you actually believe it, and for this you have to make changes in your lives, dont stay with the shit youre comfotable with
My situation is hopeless too. After my ex dumped me, I've been going solo. It sucks to start all over again. I hate going on a date. Most people I meet are not interesting or they don't like me. Dating sucks. No fun at all.
35 days of no contact. And counting...
backiri Live to rise 👐
backiri Has your ex tried to contact you in that time?
any update?
@@RohanChauhan555 how did it go , how ru ...
@@dayyamm m doing way better than I thought, seriously No Contact works wonder..
Can someone pls tell me why? ex blocks you online after 2months of no contact then zap blocked with not a word help
@Coach Craig KEnneth,
I went into complete no contact after our breakup, without telling her anything. We broke up on good terms but I'm afraid because I didn't tell her of my desire to not be friends or to contact me if she wanted to restart our romance. Was this the right call? Should I break no contact to tell her these things and restart no contact afterwards, or continue with no contact as is? Any feedback would be appreciated! Thanks in advance, I love your videos! They have been a great help.
Update?
Does the no contact rule work if you were in a short term relationship and dated a guy only for 5 months?
Depends on how deep the connection was and why you split. But yeah that’s enough time
The change in thumbnail scared the shit out of me
I really liked it. What do you guys think?
Coach Craig Kenneth As an artist it's a nice change, but the design gives off this "alert, danger danger" signal, which I is really funny since it reminds me of anxiety.
Let me make you icons for free lololol
Craig it's nice but yes, have to agree it also looks a bit scary!
Well, lets see how you guys feel in a few weeks once you are used to it. I thought it looked sharp. Maybe more people will share their opinion....
Why do gals always leave an opening? Does this mean they are uncertain about the no contact?
A "row" mean I my they had an argument/fight.
to row means to argue or fight
Nice work
Row means quarrel/argue, pronunciation rhymes with cow. Is this guy in the email British?
if you dont hear about them in a month or so, probably u will never hear from them biggest anxiety is around in 3-4 weeks
Well... I.was wrong. I finally.let her go after trying to get her for.3 months with no contact or limited contact. I let her go and.after 1,5 month she.contacted me
After 40 days NC (5 days before her bday) i was unblocked from whatsapp.. should i have broken NC there for her bday? i didnt txt her.. did i miss my only opportunity? What do i do now?
It's been 2 months since our last contact. I'm giving up hope
@@xHappzx update
Craig ! They had a row or a argument.
Does no contact work for long distance?
I believe so
Will tell you. I was in LDR almost 7 yrs and we broke up over a month ago, i am in NC since then..lets see
@@JelenaVecic024 updates?
I'm pretty sure she was cheating the whole time and that she really didn't know whose baby it was and that's why she broke it off. So that he wouldn't find out the baby wasn't ever his. Sounds like she can't be alone. You deserve better
I’m on day 18 of no contact, haven’t heard from him
Update?
@@dwightschrute8141 we’re back in contact now
@@RenskeLogie how much time it took him to contact you?
@@RenskeLogie so i initiated the contact with my ex and we had the following conversation:
Me : let me know when you comfortable to talk
Her: hi👋im free rn. What happened?
Me: I'd like to meet and catch up if you're interested
Her: yess!! When? I'll plan accordingly
Me: maybe a week or two later
Her: okay i'll see
Let me know what you think about this
just dich out for ever it's hard but it will happen any way and no hope any more for me that's my opinion
To have a row means to argue in Australia
No contact is so hard! All I want to do is talk to her.
Updates? Took mine about a week and a half. She text a song to me. So I responded “hey, good to hear from you. Would love to see you. When is the next day you’re free?”
She didn’t respond for about 36 hours and it was a screenshot of a text from one of her friends and I didn’t respond. About 10 hours after not responding to the screenshot she said
she thinks her next day off is in 5 days.
I responded back “well, when you are sure let me know and we can make a plan.”
Took another two days, I didn’t text or call or anything and she popped up with two dates. One about a week from now and another a week and a half from now.
I responded that xxx date works good as the other I can’t guarantee I’ll be free this far out. Let’s do 4pm and take the dog out. Then go take a drive to the Whole Foods and grab some food and a bottle of wine. Go back and make dinner and watch a movie. Simple evening. Have you home before it gets too late.”
That was yesterday and she hasn’t responded. Just have to 100% let her make the contact. I’m not gonna reach out. Give her the space and freedom she wants. Can’t put any pressure. I love her and I want her happy with or without me. If it works out it does. If it doesn’t then so be it.
@@portlandGTR Confused as ever. She sent me a song by Roxette called let your heart dance with me and above it put sharing because I know you like them but I like lots of groups,then she sent me a cover of Fleetwood Mac dreams. She will skip a few days between texting. We've been broke up a whole year. I wish I could read her heart and mind.
@@brettming9015 keep texts short. Don’t reply every time. Rejection breeds obsession. Send her a simple text like this. “Hey, good to hear from you. Would love to see you. When’s your next day that you’re free?”
Then don’t text again. No call. Nothing. Let her reach out. Let her do 100% of the contact first.
@@portlandGTR Yes,I rarely ever text first.She will send me random things, anything to have some contact. For a month we didn't really talk. She sent me a game to play with her and we played it for almost a whole month without talking then after awhile she started conversation again. She still hasn't let go. I expected that but she hasn't.
Update???
i think he might be "too nice"
Yes it is a lot higher, I was sexually molested by my uncle- took years of therapy to finally feel healthy
Maybe she meant 'are you rude'?? lol funny!!
Very long, interesting story
Sounds %100 TOXIC, get out..... move on..... do better!
Maybe she felt bad and guilty about the abortion and her real feelings was that he should have been a man and took responsibility for the child and married her possibly.
Craig refer these people to Jerry Springer please
That girl seems to have a lot of baggage
I think she player him ..I was molested from 4 - 5 until I was 12 ..never reported it / them ..
Lol Craig just way you Read 📚
First two to three years... Awesome!! Very unfair
TO KILL AN INNOCENT CHILD JUST FOR THEIR STUPID COMFORT..?!!... WHAT IS WROOONG WITH THOSE PEOPLE?!
LIFE IS SACRED FROM CONCEPTION TO ITS NATURAL END.
GOD HELP THEM.
I’m going to hell, because I laugh about this. Oooo my God, this is not a healthy relationship. Its not love that keeps a relationship, its the way you relate that keeps the love. I’m not a coach but I would advice to move on...
a total chet show
Coach Kenneth what should I do if my ex is an empath and we work at the same job and she doesn’t speak to me ever since we broke up? I’ve been doing no contact for almost a month. Did I do the right thing?