SHOPPING ADDICTION? When is enough enough or TOO much? Is luxury YouTube a trap for us?
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- Опубліковано 11 лип 2024
- #luxpurselove
Shopping addiction? When is enough enough or too much? Is luxury UA-cam a trap for us?
What is your opinion?
UA-camrs mentioned:
@Jessiestyle video: • Are Designer Bags for ...
@ameliarosescloset video: • SHOPPING TO OVERCOME L...
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You brought up so many great points! I agree with you whole-heartedly! Everyone has their “thing” and ours just happens to be bags! It’s not hurting anyone! Have a lovely day! ❤
Thanks Amber! Have a lovely day as well! Xoxo
The comparison of shopping addiction and substance addiction isn’t too far off. Both cause harms. If you don’t cause harm by buying bags then you don’t have a problem. Addiction or not. We don’t know if some people who spend all their money on bags, or whatever, haven’t actually neglected their children. Substance addiction has a more anti social image. But shopping addiction can ruin lives as much as substance addictions can.
Switching genre in your content is hard because it doesn’t serve UA-cam. Their algorithm will punish you. But with enough time I think, a new audience can be grown.
I think that everyone should be able to do whatever makes them happy as long as it isn’t hurting anyone, like you said. I also agree that everyone collects something, or has their own hobby. As long as it makes sense to you then no one else has to understand it. Being happy is such a beautiful experience and I will never take joy away from someone. This was such a good video ❤
I love that "I will never take joy away from someone" I am going to remember that! Thank you! Xoxo
😂😂😂 "Oh my god, Becky...look at her bag (collection)! It is SO big!" You are so funny!
Glad you get my humor lol!
So true the days when you had one bag, and buying a designer bag was a big deal! You would just buy one and use it all the time, before you’d even think about getting another one. Also since when did people (who do not work in fashion) follow which season the bag / item is from?!…
Love the shirt! I like your channel bc it’s relaxed. I don’t get the frenzy, gotta buy it now, always chasing after bags feeling which I prefer. You go on trips or get bags for a special occasion or whenever your mood strikes, which seems more how most people shop. Maybe it’s my age but I’m not interested in every bag released from every brand every month. Too much work. Great video.
Thanks so much!! Yes it is just too much work to keep up with all the new.
@@LuxPurselovecan you share where you got your shirt from, please? Thank you~
@@jayceeb3142 It is from Loft last fall.
@@LuxPurselove thank you~
If you are stable financially then you should do whatever makes you happy
I totally agree!
Shopping addiction is more equated with being a hoarder not alcoholic. 😂
Yes that was quite the reach to say it was on the level of being an alcoholic.
@@poleneceline I will have to check that book out, sounds interesting. I totally agree that an addictive brain is probably the same regardless of the addiction but what I was trying to say is you can function with a shopping addiction vs a substance addiction.
Melinda, you’re always so articulate and expressive with your words. ❤
Thank you so much Hannah! Xoxo
I don’t compete. Save competing for games and sports!😅 the “shopping is a sport “mentality is finally dying out a bit do to people examining their choices. ❤ like you.
Same here, leave the competition to sports for sure! I do think it is dying out. Thank you! Xoxo
OMG Becky !! 😂 You are so funny Melinda ......I needed that laugh today , thank you ❤
I am glad someone got that lol! Xoxo
😂
Love that YsL college bag behind you. At some point one just stops shopping ..there are only so many bags that I need ..so unless it’s something special like Hermès Kelly ..I don’t shop anymore. I enjoy watching genuine YTs who like bags not so much just unboxings.
It is a beauty! I totally get what you are saying. I keep saying I know one day I will just come to a hard stop and maybe only get a special bag once in a while.
Yes well I’m 63 so lots of time for you 😂
@@Seemstobereal 63 years young!🩷
This is such a great video Melinda! So much truth! When I’m happy I shop! When I’m not I don’t!! Truth for me as well! I’m lucky,.. I have so much! But,.. life is more precious than anything I could ever own! Great reminder that life is short! We are to enjoy it while we are here! Please let’s never ever forget that!💕
Thank you! Yes so very true, life is too short and we need to be kind to others and enjoy it! Xoxo
I enjoy what you do on your channel everything you do is amazing
Love this video, Thanks, darling! ❤
Thank you Sabrina! Xoxo
Great video - I loved all the points you covered!
Thanks so much!
The voice of reason! Love you!❤️
Awe thank you so much Mary Ann! Xoxo
Great points Melinda 😊
Thanks Andrea!🩷
Loved listening to your thoughts Melinda!! ☺Excited to see how your channel evolves again!!! Ill watch cooking vlogs
Thanks so much Jessie! Xoxo
I think those that judge so hard is because they can’t comfortably afford luxury. Those that are rich rich and can afford luxury goods don’t judge like that.
That is a very interesting thought!
Great points ❤😊!
What a great topic. It’s funny, my husband use to complain that I only had two bags, he was comparing me to his mother. I told him, I buy higher end bags so I tend to use them on regular basis. His mom was buying bags on a weekly basis (very poor quality, hence the need to buy so often). Today I have four bags in total, and that’s enough for right now. Especially working from home most days of the week, I’m not going anywhere so the need or want to shop is very low. However this year I’m looking for a more casual bag, to give my ride or die Burberry bag a break. Have a great day 🎉
Agree and love your positive, genuine attitude!
While I agree that comparing a shopping addiction to alcoholism can seem a bit extreme, there are grey areas of every addiction/definition. Then there are also the true ICD10 medical definitions of addiction. People use “addiction” so loosely these days, you might agree that if someone is using funds they don’t have, running up credit cards, stealing money from family/friends to fund their handbags- that is a true addiction and can happen. I doubt that most UA-camrs have a true “addiction” and try to fund their bags responsibly or sell bags to fund new bags. I’m in a facebook group where a lot of members have a “one in, one out” mentality, which can definitely work for them. But there are people out there with true addictions, but likely a bit more rare of a than addiction to drugs or alcohol. I definitely see it much less frequently in my patients!
I had also looked into starting a UA-cam channel at some point (different genre). I have many varied interests, and if I really got into it, I would honestly probably have separate channels (2-3) for the different interests as I understand that each is pretty niche. But it’s A LOT of work and I absolutely hated my mannerisms on camera 🤣 so I’ll just continue binge watching luxury unboxings! My “addiction”! 🤪 lol!
Thank you so much!
You really sound like you know what you are talking about. I never thought of a person with a shopping addiction stealing money but yes that could happen.
It is so much work! I love a good unboxing too!
I really enjoyed this, thank you for making this! As expected, your take on this was well thought out and well expressed, this is such an interesting topic
Thank you so much Amelia! I really enjoyed your video. Xoxo
Great video. Beautiful shirt and jewellery..You’re always so wise with your purchases, always buy and enjoy what makes you happy. So agree on the YT comments. Always disappearing, so annoying. Best wishes ❤
Thank you lovely! It is annoying and I never see them. Best wishes to you too! Xoxo
Hi Melinda great video I thoroughly enjoyed it.💚💚💚💚
Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you! Xoxo
Hi Melinda. Life is hard sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with having things in your life that bring you joy. If you can afford them, why not. ❤
I totally agree Ruth! Xoxo
I like all your videos. Especially, your vlogs and cooking videos. It’s different and sometimes I’m not in the mood for handbags. I love your travel videos because I’m unable to travel with my family, so I vicariously live through you.
Anyways, I think sometimes people can use shopping as a coping mechanisms but it’s up to them to realize it.
Great video.
Thanks so much! I get bored with handbags too and like to do different content.
Great video 👏🏾👏🏾❤❤
Thank you! 🤗
Melinda, This is a super well done video. You touched on so many important points. My daughter always tells me that if luxury bags is my hobby and I love finding them and buying them(when I can afford to), that is just fine. Everyone has their thing that they enjoy! I raised two girls. Never once did buying a handbag ever jeopardize their futures. It's all about having priorities straight!
Thank you Toni! I love that your daughter is supportive! Mine are too. And like you I had their futures taken care of and a bag never got in the way. I think a lot of people don't have their priorities straight!
Great video. I agree, some UA-camrs copy other people’s videos.😂 I do less shopping nowadays…😅
Thank you! Yes you can totally tell when they are copying. I am slowing down a bit too.
Oh by the way Awesome Video!!!👏
Thanks! 😁
Melinda you are so positive I always love watching your video…
Awe thank you so much!
Thank you for a great video. I enjoy all of your videos unboxing, or cooking or traveling or what ever you decide to do, you do it with so much style and elegance and respect that I admire you. Again thank you
Awe thank you so much Judite! Xoxo
I used to have bad shopping addiction but it has gone a bit when I started to focus on other areas of my life, I was grieving at that time I felt a huge emptiness in my life and that was my way to cope with grief, however it wasn’t easy to control my addiction especially that now I have more respinsibilities so I am slowing down here lol. I have all the things I want but I may treat myself on my Bday which is coming up soon 🥰🥰
Oh wow yes! I am the same... shop when I'm happiest and have no interest when I am sad/depressed/upset. I agree with all your points here!
I think we are opposite of how a lot of people shop but I think that is a good thing too!
I absolutely love this video.
Thank you!
I'm one of the viewers who loves your cooking vlogs! They're helpful and you share great recipes.
I completely agree that the term "addiction" is thrown around too lightly. Keyboard psychiatrists/psychologists should not casually throw around terms like "hoarder" and "addict" simply because they don't approve of what another person is buying.
Thank you Mckenzie! Addiction really is thrown around too much, and too casually the same with hoarder. If you haven't been inside someones home how can you decide they are a hoarder? And to make a judgment about addiction is not ok either.
Omg, so agree!! “keyboard psychiatrists” lol!! 🤣 100%!!
So many good points! Sponsorships do take work and I am like you if it’s something I would use I’m all for them. My vlogs flop because it’s not my niche! Tfs great video!
Thank you! Yes we get stuck in our niches!
I agree with your points Melinda. We all have something we like to spend our money on and or hobbies. When we married my husband and I vowed to pay cash for everything (minus a mortgage). So I say if you have the extra cash do what you want with it.
So true! We aren't hurting anyone so why not enjoy what we love?
Barely I to the video and I have to say that most people unboxing and doing you tube as a hobby would be less likely to have fakes. What a generalization ridiculous statement. I dont even have a you tube channel. I have zero fakes. Great talk Melinda! I just love bags!!
Thank you! I thought it was so ridiculous! But she does have a LOT of fakes herself and she promotes them so perhaps she thinks others do too.
Great video 🤎
Thank you!
I personally love watching handbag, SLG, and jewelry sharing as a viewer; the only judgment that should be passed is if you like an item, and if u think k it will or will not work for u; I watch lots of utube video's and enjoy those that do not appeal to my tastes in handbags, etc. I just enjoy, and don't try to tell others how to live, or what I think are their flaws.....nine of us, especially as women, should be judging each other....luv your video's. 😊
I totally agree! Thank you!
Fantastic video, Melinda!
Yes, there are cliques, but also friendships. I’ve made many friends through my YT and IG, and hang out with some of them, even traveled with one. We are really just ordinary folks who happen to have a common love for handbags.
I have only 500 subscribers and none of my bags are fake (thank you for defending us small UA-camrs 😬❤️).
“Is luxury UA-cam a trap?”. IMHO any UA-cam genre is a trap, because that’s how the algorithm works. It’s a simple yet not-so-simple fact. But if you are not doing this as a business, just do what you like and enjoy the process, instead of trying to do things to please the algorithm then suffering a burnout. I don’t want you disappearing from UA-cam again, OK!
And I totally agree that it is A LOT of work. Non-UA-camrs don’t realise what goes on behind the scenes - scripting, setup, lighting, camera, backdrop, makeup, picking out outfits, then recording. Don’t even get me started on editing. Some UA-camrs even outsource some things while others hire an entire team.
Have a wonderful day, too, Melinda! ❤️
Thank you Corrine! I meant cliques not in a bad way but some people have more in common. That is wonderful you have made so many friends through this platform!
Yes she was quite adamant we all have fakes, but she has a lot of fakes so maybe that is why her thought process went there?
I agree, any genre you start you will get stuck in. Even though I know some content I make isn't going to be popular I will do what makes me happy.
YES! I didn't even think of that! The time spent getting yourself ready, the area you film ready, everything out you want to show etc takes hours alone! Xoxo
Great video! I am so glad you are back with us! 🥰On sponsorships I am definitely in the camp of no thank you. The thing I do not like about sponsorships is the scripted content, the restrictions on influencers to only say xyz or not being able to say xyz…. So I just skip those videos. I do get a little upset when I am into the video for a length of time before it is disclosed as sponsored. I understand that is done to get the sponsors minimum time needed bit it just feels so deceptive to me, especially when it is an influencer that I have developed some trust with.
Thank you so much! Yes I figured that out with the angry face lol. I never mean to be deceptive and always clearly say if the video is sponsored and or if any content was gifted. I do fast forward through the sponsored parts of other peoples videos. ;)
The second I start talking about the sponsored product I disclose it was gifted and sponsored. And I have never done 10 min of one sponsored product ever. Usually 2-3 min.
My emoji? That is not an angry face that is the happy lovey face. 😊 I have never seen you do any of the things I mentioned, but I have seen others, it really makes me sad…
It was not this video but on a sponsored video of my slg's. Maybe I need stronger glasses lol! I am glad I haven't done any of those things. I try to be as clear as possible when sponsored as I would like others to be. Thank you!
Oh lord maybe I hit the wrong emoji, my eyes are terrible too… but for clarity, I love your content, you are one of the few I actually trust, I have been a subscriber for years, and will be for as long as you are on youtube ❤️
Really well done.
Thank you!
Hi Melinda. I had to resubscribe to you recently as I noticed I wasn’t - even though I have been a long subscriber!! I was going to let you know at the time but I thought I might have accidentally done it but I guess I didn’t if it’s happening on a big scale!
Thank you so much Sarah! Yes I am not sure what is going on with YT!
Like the color theme!
Thank you!
Never tooo much!
I love luxury SLGs (way more than handbags), but before I could afford them, I used to go to the British shop Accessorize and buy their small fabric zip coin purses, just bigger than a credit card, and that would be my main purse/wallet. Every time they brought out a new design, I would buy it, and that was my little collection of purses. I still have about eight of them that I don't want to part with. I have always loved these little things. I think we love what we love, whether it's cheap or expensive. ❤
That is so true! I have a daughter who collects Starbucks cups. I don't get it at all (mostly because they can't go in the dishwasher lol) but it makes her happy so I am happy for her. We just love what we love.
That’s an interesting question about problem shopping. The show Hoarders does show the ways in which compulsive shopping harms family relationships. No, the person is not falling down drunk but he/she is falling down or falling over mountains of stuff and yes, the authorities are after them! Code enforcement, the fire Department, Adult Protective Services, Medical personnel. That’s addiction that society wants rectified.
That show always freaks me out with the amount of junk in the home and the person isn't capable of seeing it for what it is.
I’m ready for whatever you throw at us! 🤗
Awe thank you! Xoxo
Oh yes me too. When I’m not so happy or sad and there is a lot going on, like recently with two deaths in January, I don’t spend money on other things but self care. No bags or anything else. I just make sure I get as comfortable as I can. Masks, body care, hair care… face… and I always, always make sure I keep nourishing myself with healthy foods. I always do but especially then..and I have a very delicious organic tea collection. Mostly herbal …so when something is missing I will make sure I will get whatever I need to feel comfortable.
That is very good that you take extra special care of yourself in times like that. It takes a long time but healing will slowly come. Xoxo
@@LuxPurselove yes it will. Unfortunately I lost another important person in my life when I was 21 about tot turn 22my dad at 54 years old. It will be 23 years since I’ve lost him. We all go through it. And the older you get the more losses.. of course. There have been many. Many way too you too.
So I plan going on a trip hopefully. Another part of my self care is I think. Visiting places and getting to see beautiful things. It makes person happy too. Xoxo
Yes too much loss for both of us. I really hope you go on a trip. Travel is soothing for the soul and healing because we are in a different environment. 🩷
@@LuxPurselove absolutely Melinda. Thank you for your replies. I love communicating with you.
such an intelligent video. I came under flack all the time from my husband about my love bags, but he's my enabler because he always buys them for me. I say if you can afford them why not? its not anyone business.itsn to like im asking them to foot the bill
Thank you! You need to remind him "hey buddy you bought these for me" lol. So true if you aren't asking anyone for money it's none of their business.
People who drink and smoke are consuming with nothing to show for it except health issues. But then they are critical of people like us who love luxury and have lots of bags. They don’t seem to want to understand that we are collecting assets and always have something we can sell when life goes south. I do feel that there’s a lot of unnecessary class prejudice involved because they believe that only rich people can afford designer bags and they don’t understand that the world has changed and that may have been the case decades ago but it isn’t anymore.
You are right in that most people collect something. Bags are just our thing.
The UA-camr who said what she did about your bags being fake if you have under a certain number of subscribers has the intellectual capacity of a door nob and can be safely ignored.
I totally agree with you. I fully believe everyone "collects" something and as someone else on YT said (I forget who) at least we can use our bags unlike a stamp collection. As for the UA-camr who said we have fakes she herself has a ton of fakes and promotes them so maybe her way of thinking is skewed.
Shopping addicts don't get pulled over by the cops, but a lot of them do get into very deep debt that financially ruins themselves & their families. Some buy thousands of dollars worth of stuff & hide it from their spouse (not unlike a closet drinker). Unfortunately, it happens all the time. Affluent people who have unlimited disposable income should do whatever they please with their money & shouldn't be judged, but the massive unboxings, day after day, is just becoming tedius & boring to watch. I learn very little about the actual bags & the conspicuous consumption is becoming a turn off (imo). My solution is to simply unfollow these creators and move on!
I very much agree with you however I think there’s a huge difference between substance abuse and spending abuse. You can still function and make dinner and take care of things even if you are putting your family into serious debt. Which is why I used the DUI example. While with substance abuse you could burn the house down or leave your kids at the park and have no memory of it. Very different addictions.
I also don’t like unboxings where you learn nothing about the new bag.
Good points. Interesting topic. Thanks for sharing it with us!
The handbag psychologist 🧐 “ and why are you buying and collecting handbags?” 👜…. ❤ perhaps another question is “ why do you watch videos about handbags?”
That is a good question too!
not my circus not my monkeys, is my motto when it comes to other people's money. ive realized we all have that guilty pleasure and why should i judge them. when others try to get me to hate, i instead say good for them for spending their money on x, i would if i had that money or liked that. i agree with we have become so comfortable with the prices, i recall saying 5k was nuts and i would never pay above that! then little me goes to chanel 2022 and spends 8,200 on a white CF ghw. i have yet to buy another and hope i stick to not paying what they are now as the 2 colors i want are from older seasons.
I should have brought my not my circus not my monkeys cup for the video. I agree with that motto!
I say that about Charis whenever she opens some beautiful diamonds, I think good for you! And I would buy that too if I could. Jealousy is not an emotion I have for others joy.
Yes the prices are just crazy but sometimes we have to buy what we love! I hope you love your CF!
@@LuxPurselove omg you have a cup lol. bring it out next video =]. i do love her, sadly ive only worn her 2x because im too chicken. but this summer im going to wear more light colors. then maybe i will wear in the fall.
@@lolipena8051 I had one custom made lol, it is like the Yeti type ones and of course hot pink. Wear that beauty this summer, I would be afraid with dark colors too. I still haven't worn my new Lady because I am waiting to wear light colored clothes as well.
The more I watch the less I want to buy 😅 bc over the years I know what I really like and dislike thus I can filter them out easily.
That is good!
I just have 7 luxury bags and probably over 10 contemporary designer bags , realistically I don’t think I will accumulate so many, first because I’m not rich, and also because I don’t have a lot of opportunities to wear the ones that I have already, but if you are able to wear yours all the time and money and space is not a problem, I think is nothing wrong with that, the problem is that most people that over buy luxury don’t have savings or real wealth, and because they want that life style it becomes a big problem.
That sounds like a very useable amount of bags to have. And that is very true, we see it all the time in shows like the Real Housewives for example showing a lifestyle they really can't afford.
I don’t think people should be throwing around addiction so lightly. Like with depression, stress anxiety etc. this is a serious topic that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Though I will say that someone who has a shopping or “luxury” addiction can still be seriously affected like someone who’s an alcoholic. You may not be blackout drunk and sleeping through your children’s lives but I can imagine someone getting a significant debt that your family might have to suffer the consequences of or setting aside your family when chasing your next high aka purchase
I totally agree. We should not be diagnosing anyone that we perceive as having a problem.
That is true with the debt and the finances. I watch a lot of people who talk about how they couldn't afford what they are doing and they are trying to change.
Everyone has something they spend money on. If you are paying your bills and paying yourself (savings, retirement, emergency fund, etc.), then GO ON, GIRL. If you enjoy luxury bags, get those bags. Never think that they will change your life, make you happy, or cure what ails you - they will not. At the end of the day, you still have yourself to sit with. But for a little bit of joy? Life is too short NOT to have joy.
That is all so true! 💗
I started YT maybe 20 times since 2009 and always stopped because literally any genre I started felt like a trap 😂 it’s hard to talk about the same thing all the time or do the same thing all the time when we are all so multifaceted with multiple interests. Example I’ve been a chef for 11 years but can’t stick to a channel because I don’t want to feel like I HAVE to cook or HAVE to film what I’m doing lol I cook more than I shop but I find fashion easier to pop on and talk about and to edit . (Also I don’t think it has to be that deep. It gets over analyzed. No one tells the car guys of UA-cam to sit down and analyze why they like to collect super cars lol)
I totally get that! I told my husband had I started a cooking channel I would be so tired of doing that after 7 years as well and those videos are WORK! So true about men and the cars!
The few travel vlogs that I’ve seen have been fun! But your cooking videos don’t get pushed for me. I’m going to have to look for it
Thank you!
I wish I was 30k people I am a returning subbie. I hate that youtube does that, my friend’s youtube is been acting weird too 😭😭😭. I love support the people I enjoy watching
I've been thinking recently about buying an Hermes Boucle bag (2nd hand). If I do, it will be my first purchase of a bag over the $10,000 US dollar price tag.
I was wondering if anyone had a formula they used, in order to determine whether or not they can afford a purchase?
I don't need to pay off a credit card over several months, and my other bills can be paid, no delays.
What I need, perhaps, is some kind of a calculation of expense vs assets/net worth, I think.
Any ideas?
That is a very good question! I am not really sure how to calculate that but for me personally I have to have the cash, bills paid both like you said and also the money cannot come from savings, stocks or anything like that. It has to be money that I can use for anything I want that won't hurt anything in my life. Hope that helps a little!
We do less shopping
If you purchase even if you really don’t want to, are unable to control your impulse to shop, regret after you make a purchase and feel bad about yourself, but continue to do the same thing over and over and can’t stop despite the consequences- then you have an addiction. Otherwise you are just shopping.
I never thought of it that way. That is very interesting!
I like your cooking videos.
Thank you!
For those who say small accounts who do luxury unboxings most likely their items are fake: I rather have someone think my stuff is fake 🤣🤣🤣🤣 there is a youtube lady she made a video someone broke to her house while she was away they stole her whole handbag collection and jewlery it was devastating. So that’s another reason I may just say my handbags are not real in case someone is having bad intentions. Social media has became a dangerous place with hackers abilities to hack ip addresses.
So many good points. I also don’t think alcohol is comparable to shopping.
Thank you! It really isn't. You can drive with a shopping addiction and function a daily life.
Melinda, I’m very sorry, but I must disagree fully with your statement about addiction. It doesn’t matter what someone is addicted to, it is a very real, diagnosable, severely traumatizing, and life-threatening in many cases mental illness. I won’t debate on my mind is that because that’s a fact.
Gently with kindness. But I really think it’s important for you to educate yourself a bit on this topic because you’re very wrong.
You do not need to be sorry for your feelings Riley. You can disagree with me and that's ok! I respect that. However I stand by what I said. I do believe addiction is real and very serious however there is a huge difference between someone who has a gambling addiction for one example and someone who has a substance addiction who chooses to get behind the wheel of the car etc. With all due respect I think from your profile pic (which is very nice btw!) that I have a few years on you. I know a lot about addiction and I do not need to educate myself. I am sorry that my feelings have offended you but I stand by what I said.
@@LuxPurselove Melinda, thank you for your comment, and I respect your opinion. While I may be younger than you, I have suffered from a very severe, and actually life-threatening eating disorder for 29 years. I am only 33 years old, but I have countless years of live experience with addictions that have manifested because of my illness.
I have been in and out of treatment programs for years, and I’ve seen so many other individuals with comorbid diagnoses. Age truly just a number.
Thank you for your reply, and I will continue to watch and support your videos. 🙏🏻