The Somali community can be so senitive- how did people come up with the conculsion that Ali Dawah is ‘obsessed’ with us when Ali only comments positive things about us or also when he is talking about his Marriage journey? It’s so embarrasing, people just want to attack….The females who were invited to the show did a better job at explaining about our cultures then the two men. What was the point of them coming in?
@@dennisbergkamp640 I am not saying they should share peronal info. They barely even spoke. I felt like whenever the Somali tiktok guy spoke, he was going off topic. Also why would you agree to come on a show if you are going to be hidden? Whats the point of that- might as well just stay back🤷🏽♂️
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 12:44 🎁 Somali marriage customs: proposal negotiation by families. 14:03 🤝 "Shil" payment tradition for acceptance of proposal. 16:34 👰 Multistage celebrations, changing dresses, "Guntino," white dress. 18:09 💃 Critique of trend-focused weddings over Islamic values. 20:15 🎤 Balancing trendy weddings with Islamic principles. 20:43 🤔 Divorce due to marriage pressure and monotony. 21:24 💃 Clothing diversity and family influence in weddings. 23:55 🎉 Seven-day honeymoon bedroom tradition. 27:22 🙌 Elders' role in resolving marital conflicts. 35:08 💬 Communication and balance in polygamous marriages. 41:40 🚹 A caring husband's significance in Islam. 42:09 🤝 Warning against marrying without fulfilling rights. 42:38 👰 Woman's right to divorce for sexual dissatisfaction. 43:18 🕌 Islam's view on women's rights and divorce. 44:03 🌍 Islam permits interracial marriage, but challenges exist. Made with HARPA AI
it's a shame that these individuals were brought on to represent Somalis, Two of the individuals on the panel do no represent us in the best light on social media (both a male and female, in case you're wondering). They weren't knowledgeable on the basics of Somali culture and often responded in a western/secularist view. The principles that guide a fruitful marriage within the Somali community is based on "Deen and Daqan" - religion and culture, and its a shame the former wasn't mentioned much or if at all by the Somalis. So many mistakes throughout, please ensure a better panel on the next episodes and perhaps conduct a basic background check on those you invite on; some of the panelists have a history of racism, allowing the Deen to be slandered and disrespected on the platforms etc.
As salam u alaikum, I invite some very well spoken Somali brothers and sisters and they either dropped last minute or didn’t want to be on camera. So I tried my best to have 4 Somalis brothers and sisters. But I can’t force people.
I totally agree with everything you have said and even the way the female is dressed is not how the Somalia women dress.I hope better guess next time.M a y Allah (s/w/t)make all Muslim marriage fruitful and lasting.Ameen
@@AliDawahdo you not wonder why? People of the Somali community clearly feel you have animosity towards them. In most cases there’s no smoke without fire.
Interesting conversation indeed! I learned so much about Somali Culture 🇸🇴 My father is from DR Congo 🇨🇩and I live in the U.S. 🇺🇸Whereas my mother is from Haiti 🇭🇹 but I was able to trace back her lineage to Sudan 🇸🇩 through African Ancestry. So I am always intrigued by the different cultures and languages within Africa 🌍 Ma Sha Allah ❤
Alhamdullilah as a Somali mum who’s children are born and breed in Europe enrolled them ( intentionally) at 99% non Muslim private schools and taught them Seraa, Hadith and Quran at home ( chose teaching them SEERA TO LOVE our PROPHET/S) I can say Alhamdullilah they choose Islamic wedding ceremonies NO MUSIC NO MIXING OF MEN AND WOMEN. instead their weddings were celebrated in Somali villages at orphanages. My son is getting married soon. I. Allah and among the first conversations he had with our DIL to be is HALAL WEDDING.
I wish Ali got 2 elders and get a translator. A Somali uncle and a Somali Auntie. This youngsters don’t know much about the culture but they tried to share what they knew about it.
Why on earth did they bring on this Ya3ni guy. He can barely put a sentence together. There are many educated Somali men in the UK who can better represent us.
Lol we don't like to be exposed like that so I'm pretty sure no other somali volunteered to be on UA-cam. You're just going to have to do with this 😂 aniga xataa waa yaabsanahay cajiib
Ali, I'm not sure what's with bringing people that don't really get the culture and were struggling to explain basic concepts of our marriage processes... This is the basic/general breakdown. 1) It's usually the guy and his family coming to ask for the girl's hand in marriage- like she explained. 2) Then an engagement party occurs where it's confirmed that they're going to be married and that's celebrated. Close family. (Sometimes this is done with the 1st step, people do it differently) 3) Then it's followed by the nikkah + walimah which can sometimes be done on the same day or different day. The nikkah usually happens in the day where the men of the family sit on a stage or place and pronounce the marriage- it's also where the mehr is brought up. After that, the guests (consisting of men and women) eat lunch. (It's not like how I've seen Desi people do it where they sign a paper together with the potential wife signing something). 4) Then, at night the walimah occurs. The walimah is usually ALL women in the beginning/majority of the night. The men come once the groom walks in with his bride, last portion of the night. It is also mainly the girl and guys family and tribe that are invited- along with friends and random people from the community that crash. Around 9 or 10pm, it is started off with a traditional dance with drums and everyone gets into a circle- the woman is singing praises on the couple and people can dance in support of what she sang. This is all done before the bride enters. Once the bride is about to enter, it's done and everyone lines up to see her walk in. Then, she dances in with the traditional dress of her choice (1 of 2) whether it's our alindy hidiyo attire (striped) or dirac (just a glittery somali dress). She dances for a bit with her family (Mom/grandma/aunt) and entourage (bridesmaids usually are sisters/close friends) to Somali music. She also might sit and the traditional poetry dance will be done for her so she can see it and enjoy it. Then she will walk out and come back again with the other traditional attire (2/2). Then dance some more. Then walk out again. Then the third time, usually, they walk in with the white wedding dress and her husband. Then, they have their cake cutting, first dance, and then an open floor dance with everyone. Then, they take pictures. Then walk out. ("Most western part of the night and where american /international music gets played") 5) After 7 days of being married, she has a saash saar which is a tradition meant to welcome women into womenhood/club of being married. They give her saash and jewelry. I think they recently started doing bridal showers as well. Another thing I've started seeing is proposals, the one knee, engagement being done. Somalia is a huge country with many tribes and customs so wedding traditions can differ such as suuriyo and soo doonis or henna parties or xeedo and saash saar or hidiyo. Since a lot has changed over the years, some things are western traditions that trickled in such as a bridal shower or the white dress, cake cutting, first dances, having music and a DJ. A lot of things are unislamic as today's world has become modernized and strayed away from religiosity in general. It's a sad reality but it's not just weddings..... many muslims don't pray, many don't fast, many celebrate christmas, drink alcohol, and dress like non muslims, free mix outside whether it's events, whether it's them being in haram relationships, whether it's them listening to music on their phone, or checking out women online. It's bigger than just weddings. If people are condemning weddings, they better be straight in all aspects of Islam too because they don't condemn the haram things they do on a norm as well. Everyone's imaan is being affected in this current world of ours in sooo many ways. It's like haram is everywhere and everyone is sinning one way or another. And I'd also like to be open about Somali marriages. My culture does not like foreigners. The whole foreigner and interracial marriages is becoming more common due to modernization and westernization. Second and third generation Somalis are changing the culture and it's the older folk that are more traditionalistic. Somalia is heavy on the tribalism and nationalism so.... there's no way they want their culture shared with someone who isn't their blood. I pray Allah forgives us and gives us guidance to right our wrongs.
As a somali everything you said was spot on. Its crazy how a wali is more likely to marry someone off based on culture lacking deen rather than someone who has good deen but isnt somali. Tribalism has always been Somalias weakness
Ali Dawah completely disregarded financial stability. One of the reasons why sisters say no to polygamy is because they are afraid their lifestyle will change. You have brothers who make minimum wage, barely afford to provide for their wife and kids but talk about getting a second wife? If a practicing man who follows Quran and Sunnah, follows polygamy properly, has a good loving marriage foundation and is financially able to provide for 2+ wives and kids, MOST women would ultimately be okay with it. Because the change would not be so drastic and their lifestyle would not change as much. Just because you're polygamous by nature doesn't mean you should just follow those desires. We know this as muslims.
@@Hahahaha-7 it’s not an assumption. I said “you get brothers that are making minimum wage and still asking for a second wife”. It happens and I know from personal experience. If a brother has enough money to support both and is a good Muslim most women would end up being okay with it.
@@shimmer4771 absolutely! And it’s Sunnah, no one is saying that it is a bad thing. Unfortunately in these time and age not a lot of men can afford more than 1 maybe 2 wives.
Sooryo is a small gift (around 1000 pound in UK) given to grooms family during the Nikah ceremony. It’s not only a southern culture; It exists across all Somali regions.
@@1MeaningfulLife Yes sorry it was a typo. Sometimes half of the money is returned so it’s more of a simplistic thing. I have walked away with £20 on a few occasions just for being a distant relative of bride😂
The groom shouldn't be given anything. It's the bride's family that's losing a family member and (traditionally at least) a maintainer of the household. And the bride needs the financial security as she's (again traditionally) not obliged to work and should thus have a good insurance policy in case they baroque doesn't work out
I'm cadaan and when I married my somali wife I refused to pay the money to the guests lol later down the line I regretted it but I had only been a muslim for a couple months before I got married it was all a bit too much trying to juggle learning the deen and somali culture in a quick time
First of all We do have henna nights, A day or two before the wedding, families and friends gather around have their heena done together dance, sing and eat. Like the sister said in somalia the ladies have a beautiful custom called saash saar. in somaliland, the somali region of ethiopia and djibouti we we have a custom called the Xeedho.The xeedho is a wooden eating bowl commonly found in alot of households in somali region ethiopia, Djibouti and somaliland. At weddings, the bowl is filled with a dish (called the muq-mad - which is the beef jerky Somali style) prepared of sun-dried meat which has been fried in butter and seasoned with spices and to which dates are added in large quantities. At the xeedho ceremony, the basket is brought to the wedding by her relatives. The bowl with the dish is usually stored in a basket consisting of two conical baskets joined at right angles, covered with a piece of tanned leather or white cloth, nicely decorated with cowrie shells and beads.
@@shukriiii oodkac is delicious I love it, but when they put the mashed date around it and everyone touches it is disgusting. I had it made for me in my wedding I threw it in the bin and made my own without the dates.
14:05 she's lying there is no different my mother is from the north my father from the south, Somali people have the same culture, traditions, cuisines, language, religion, history etc, it's clear she wants to push this somaliland political nonsense she's been brainwashed with, only people who push for this somaliland is one tribe (isaaq my maternal side) who were known for helping the kuffar English empire and brag about being colonized by England, the rest of the tribes in the region believe in one major Somalia. She's sick in the heart and wants to separate muslims, forget about Somalia I want one ummah who open their borders for each other no nationalism no tribulism. Allahuma ameen.
Thank you to everyone for their efforts in representing 🇸🇴..umm except for the witness protection program blurred out guy ! Some of the explanations were not spot on but at least you all had the guts to be there. And thank you Ali for wanting to learn 🤲🏾
Ya3ni Ya3ni Ya3ni even Arabs don't say Ya3ni this much, he's so embarrassing and the fact that he thinks he's not Black despite being dark as midnight 😂😂😂.
Most muslims in the west are infected by the Yanni virus, it’s crazy when you’re born and raised in the west and constantly saying Yanni like an Arab lmao. They make me laugh. Wanna be Arabs crack me up.
I agree he comes across as honest and funny. He may have been born in one of the gulf countries. He doesn’t seem to have a race based concept or it’s reluctant to accept the descriptor of being Black. He spoke of his self-identity(not for Somalis in general) and identifies as MUSLIM, Somali, and African in that order and questioned what being Black means. I can accept that although I also identify as black in addition to the above so long as he doesn’t think he Is any better than “Black people” as some erroneously do.
The funny part, I think is He applied to come into the show. It makes you wonder, what he was thinking when he wrote the show requesting to become a guest.
I am a follower of Khadra on Snapchat and she is such a great mom and good woman, may ALLAH always bless her and her daughters. Love you Khadra and especially for all you do for your grandmother. May ALLAH bless her with quick recovery and good health.
Asalamu Alaykum akhi please don’t invite unhijab sister otherwise cover them. You making it normal to disobey Allah not wear hijab plus it’s sin as her Awrah is outside. Jasakalaahu Khayr I’m Somali 🇸🇴 btw in case someone scream racism or something
@@alsononeofyourbusiness Bc she is human who has a need and it needs to be fulfilled. And Alhamdulilah It’s basic right that Allah SWT gave us in Islam.
na he failed us. He is just a guy with an opinion and camera. I thought he would be more educated and more articulate in what he say but this video proves otherwise.
39:50 I'm sorry but I think it's you brothers who are living in Disneyland. Realistically how many men can afford having two wives or more in the West? It's not like there is an excess of muslim millionaires who can fully provide and have the time and energy to have multiple wives and children. In reality most brothers are just getting by, and are even dependent on their wives contributing financially. So until brothers really get to a point where they can fully provide and what not. They shouldn't even be talking about polygyny. And just to make it clear i'm actually not against polygyny personally, but I believe it should be done right.
A man doesn't need to be a millionaire to take care of more than one wife. Or even 4 wives. There are men out there who can practise polygamy properly, even then, some ignorant disrespectful women still complain trying to make the man look like he's doing something wrong. Even though Polygamy is permissible. They lack respect for the nature of men.
@@shimmer4771 Like I said a woman's emotions are not on a pedestal. A woman being upset by something, it doesn't mean that 'something' always has anything wrong with it. Furthermore a woman being emotional is not an excuse to make a man look like he's done something wrong when he married a second wife. Polygamy is permissible. Also, I never insinuated that I expect the second wife to be celebrating. She will be emotional, then she should bear patience, and rightfully so. As the man has done nothing wrong, he has done something which Allah made permissible. Edit: The woman will also be rewarded more for being patient when her husband practises polygamy.
@@999legend8 It depends. The women who aren't being treated badly are wrong and are sinning. The women who are, aren't. I am saying this because there are brothers who take a second wife and they don't support them fairly or they don't even divide their time evenly. The minute a sister brings a valid complaint, she's called a feminist. This is an issue that's rarely discussed.
@@999legend8 I know. The Prophet peace be upon him said "Allah has decreed jealousy on women and jihad on men. Whoever accepts that and bears it with patience seeking the reward shall receive theirs in full without reckoning." Now, I can say if we could see the reward for having bore it with patience, we would be rushing for him to take all 4 wives. I will say this.
@@999legend8 In this economy, i'd argue that you should at least be a millionaire. It's not about disrespeting a mans wishes, but rather being realistic as the financial burden islamically is on the men.
Ali please do another panel with other somali sisters and brothers who are fully aware of our Somali culture, these brothers and sisters misrepresented us especially the brother with the sunglasses, he couldn't separate our beautiful honorable Culture from the modern un Islamic things that some people do now days in weddings. And the girls couldn't articulate the process of marriage which takes several steps that are unique to our Somali customs and traditions.
It’s sucks to be represented and not correctly. “The south and the north” have the same tradition and practices, each family is different tho. Please bring people who can represent us matter and know their customs and traditions.
Ok can I just correct a few things - Monetary stuff thats payed - Sooryo - the family of the man bring it to the family of the girl they want to marry as a gift. This is usually brought by the females as part of 'isbarasho' alongside some clothing and perfumes for the girl. The second is the Yarad - this is paid on the day of the Nikah and is given to the family of the girl. The Meher is not paid as it belongs to the girl and she can request it when they divorce or before then like the regular islamic tradition. Regarding Somali Weddings its 7 days - IE where the todobobax came from, the couple dont leave the house and its their time to get to know each other as a couple. 1. Wedding and they enter the house , 3. The Xeryo is opened in the house - so these are gifts handed from the females family to the family of the man its basically jugs with meat , popcorn, cake, sweets it can have anything and the man has to open it so they know he is worthy to take care of the women. 7. is the day the couple can leave the home.
@@Connect_with_Yourself i heard about that and some dont even pay the advance mehr which makes their marriage invalid. i heard some dont pay the mehr because their excuse is "she'll get it when she wants to divorce if not then its useless" subhanaAllah they should stop that and follow the deen correctly
10 minutes in and I ended up in the comments as this is already a hard watch! Glad it’s not just me. I usually enjoy your episodes I think the people who came are not the most articulate
I said to my somali father I will marry a foreigner, as jokingly, then he asked if he was white or black. Who will like to i marry, he says black. my daddy is a very funny person, i know he'll never judge about color or tribe as long as he is Muslim and also akhlaq he'll be happy for me.
39:00 as a man, and I'm not saying to be a hero. I'm absolutely not "polygamous by nature". We fleetingly fantasise yes, I'm sure women even do it. But that's not enough to say "we're polygamous by nature". I'm far too lazy to spend one week in one house, another week in another. First and foremost.... And secondly I fear about potential children from both families as other families and kids will gossip and no doubt bully them. The kids from the second wife will always feel like they're the second rate kids compared to the other. It's too messy and complicated for me. It will affect me emotionally to see the hurt in one of my wife's eyes when i have to leave her to go to the other house. I just wouldn't be able to do it practically or emotionally. You of all people, given that you're on the dawah scene, need to appreciate taking oaths on Allah is a very serious matter. Don't be so casual with it, especially when you don't know the full facts.
alhamdulilah. I saw many men also claiming they are not polygamy by nature.May God reward you for speaking your truth n about urself, brother. And woman love men in general for looks body money etc and men also love woman generally for things. But loving opposite gender as human being is universal. Some men they want one wife that thes can love n have fun life with that is it. So I do respect you coming out here speaking rhe truth. every man have to speak for himself to avoid i just claim. alhamdulilahi
Asalamu Alaykum akhi please don’t invite unhijab sister otherwise cover them. You making it normal to disobey Allah not wear hijab plus it’s sin as her Awrah is outside. Jasakalaahu Khayr I’m Somali 🇸🇴 btw in case someone scream racism or something
Lol I'm just a cadaan as i believe it's called, but i felt embarrassed watching this. These guys don't represent the Somalis i know. I can see why some people are annoyed
Salaam Ali, the blurred brother is problematic from a watching experience point of view, very jarring. Maybe there was an issue and you had to blur him in post? Otherwise nobody should go on there unless they are ok with being seen.
It is always initiated by the boy and if it happens the girl and boy like each other, the girl would tell the boy to go meet her family but the boy don’t go over to the family himself so he talks to his family about it then the boy’s family takes some elders from the community and go to the girl’s family for acceptance and after that long process lol man will spend a lot $$$$
I'm glad that the brother with the glasses and Ali hinted to seeing abuse as "trivial" especially when it comes to divorce & polygamy. I always tells sisters please, for the love of Allah, get evidence of abuse. Track it. Make sure you have cameras at least in the main areas of your home. Take photos of any physical bruises, voice record, and if you can get witnesses, even better. The Muslim community as a whole doesn't seem concerned with this issue and actually downplays it, especially brothers because they're the ones doing it. They hide behind being against feminism while simultaneously pushing sisters into it. Like a sister puts her safety & well-being in his hands, and he proves himself to be untrustworthy and a monster. But somehow, thats feminisms' fault. I remember even Muhammed Hijab admitted that there are no group of people who create more feminists than men. And ironically, the western courts are much better at punishing abusers more than the Muslim community is. So they're following the shariah better than Muslims which is beyond embarrassing.
he literally didn't say that, he said date nights going from twice a week to twice a month was trivial and abuse is the 'brutal' example i.e. not trivial... feminist indoctrination has you hallucinating
@@stari313 You know that’s not why divorce happens majority of the time. And that’s not the context of his statement. Anyhow, I’ve seen a lot of brothers in the comment sections and in these types of videos always making it seem like divorce happens for trivial reasons because they downplay abuse so hard. No reason is ever significant enough to divorce for men. You’re the one hallucinating. Sisters still need to get evidence considering there are so many spineless brothers who deny abuse ever happens.
@@shimmer4771 Oh so we're supposed to have no sense of justice and let these types of people be? This is the mentality in the Muslim community. No wonder we're seen in such a negative light. We enable people's bad behaviors simply because of who they are, and never call them out for what they are. Sister, you are more than welcome to forgive abuse or mistreatment. Thats on you, but not every sister wants to be treated as less than human.
As a Somali hijab women, I’m angry to see those ladies representing us especially that hijab women percentage are more than non hijab ones. I would attend the talk but I live in USA.
I'm not. In fact I'm not suprised by them cos they are westerners after all and I don't judge or shame them for anything cos well I'm not marrying any of them why is it got to do with me. I can't do anything for my own community since I'm not a leader but I can advice them on it but if they don't want to take it that's cool.
38:00 I disagree that the wife is the headache. The responsibility placed upon us with a 2nd wife, that is the headache. And this man need to stop swearing by The Creator about something only The Creator could know about. You cannot generalise, and at the same time swear by The Creator that its 100% true for everyone
When it comes to marriage the sunnah is enough, for all of us, white black brown asian it doesnt matter, we live in different cultures but what shouldn't be allowed regardless of culture is haram in any way shape or form. As long as we follow the sunnah and Quran we will be fine.
Marriage traditions in Somalia Seven-day ceremony Long wedding ceremonies are the norm in Somalia, and weddings are known to last as long as seven days. On the first day, the actual wedding is performed, which is then followed by different ceremonial rites in the subsequent days where the respective families can hold their separate ceremonies. Engagement ceremony Before the actual wedding is allowed to take place, the groom must ask for the hand of his bride in marriage from her father. He may be accompanied by family members to make the marriage proposal, and upon acceptance, he will present gifts as a courtesy to his bride's family. GIFTS The custom in Somali weddings is for there to be gift sharing during the wedding reception. Here, the guests will present various gift items to the newlyweds as a way of congratulating them on their marriage. Most gifts are often money or jewelry.
The blurred and voiceless man has completely ruined my enjoyment and experience off this video, you were better off not including him… waste off such a high potential video. Not happy at all
Wow I’m so flattered that you have so much interest in our culture mashallah. I don’t even know who these Somali kids are but they are diaspora Somalis which means they don’t know much. Look for older Somalis who are more culturally aware. There is ALOT of cultural traditions that take place during marriage in its heavily based on clans. The money that is paid to the brides family is actually paid only if you are marrying a different clan. It is distributed to the brides clan who attend the wedding. There is an entire ceremony that takes place when the money is handed off to the brides family as well and in involves clan representatives/leaders. Jazakallah
A lot of women have a horrible attitude then they get upset when the men don't want to marry them anymore. Try and take accountability and look at yourself. 😊
@@999legend8 and a lot of women may not be aware of religious rulings, like for example, in Islam, women do not change their last name to their husband's.
In the somali community its about tribe if we are being honest. Im from somaliland and i dont care about tribalism but its preferred to marry within the same qabil.
That’s absolutely not true, I’m from somaliland too and my parents only had the condition of the person being a practicing Muslim with a good reputation: personality.
When the brother in the glasses said “ I agree with them” and then the girl with the hat said “wow” wth? So un called for 🤦🏾♂️ she gives feminist vibes 🤢
I know Ali Da'wah bringing him on board has a reason, but blurring his whole image, changing his audio, everything, makes it look somehow. I really love the works, may Allāh keep him steadfast, but please next time, try work around it. May Allāh grant you success and reward you abundantly ❤
Assalamu alaykum… I think the host need to invite the elderly person to discuss the matter to the core because they know best this generation have no experience neither do they understand it well …
We're not getting the parents or grandparents married lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Elderly person will have old fashioned views and doesn't really understand the younger generation as they were brought up in a different era so it's pointless.
The first question is simple. The girl and the boy get to know each other and date. when they decide to get married then they get the parents involved.
The girl with the hat is not a good representative for somali women. She knows nothing about our culture, and she was only there to diss the brother with the shades. I kindly request to never let her on again, as she will make us look Very bad.
Somaliland specifically north west do xeedho ceremony with dried camel meat for the bride and many other differences im not sure if the girl was from eastern part of Somaliland sool and wasn’t aware
Woy these guys doesn't know much abt somali culture marriage Let's say that u are interested to a girl and wants to progress it at first you have to seek hand for marriage you come to her family with your male side of your family like your father and uncles you give out dowry and plan for the of nikkah and weeding day and after the 7days of the weeding ends there is another celebration day where the female side of both family gather and celebrate .bless each other and story ends . Also we have arranged marriage where your parents brings you a man of their interest but they will give enough time to understand each b4 the proposal day
To put things in simple perspective. The boy finds the girl, he goes back to his parents and tells about her. The girl could play her part to let the family know she's found someone so she notifies her parents some guests are going to come over to ask for her hand. Trusted men who reached the age of Puberty will come with the boy to meet the male family of the girl. If accepted. You pay a small amount to the parents as a form of gratitude it could be anything. Then you plan ahead the Nikaah. You invite whomever you please to it. The girl and the boy will be in seperate rooms during the process. A shiekh will be present there with some witnesses from both families. The dowry is made, which the boy will accept or refuse which is a demand the girl makes. Once signed. They are permissible to each other. However, some take it a bit further and add Wedding to it which includes the Somali culture dances etc and the couples dancing in the middle holding hands but it's a different case. Some girls demand it while some don't in their dowry.
Had to comment about the noise behind the cameras. None of the previous episodes had these issues. Sorry to be negative but it was extremely distracting
i wanted to watch but i already saw in the comments that they missed the important tings and they didn't represent us well so i don't want to feel embarrassed 😌
At times you elope with your lover and under the company of 3rd person mostly a Man and the girl/lover/Bride to the family of the male/husband to be thereafter a council will relay either physically or via phone confirming the safer arrival and that she should not be declared Missing and then the council/Old responsible members launch a request for the marriage of the lady however it might be rejected or approved
Okey this was the most confusing somali people. Either they don’t understand the questions that Ali is asking or they don’t know their own culture SubhanAllah easy questions but they make it so complicated 😢
The Somali community can be so senitive- how did people come up with the conculsion that Ali Dawah is ‘obsessed’ with us when Ali only comments positive things about us or also when he is talking about his Marriage journey? It’s so embarrasing, people just want to attack….The females who were invited to the show did a better job at explaining about our cultures then the two men. What was the point of them coming in?
The two men weren’t trying to share too much information
@@dennisbergkamp640 I am not saying they should share peronal info. They barely even spoke. I felt like whenever the Somali tiktok guy spoke, he was going off topic. Also why would you agree to come on a show if you are going to be hidden? Whats the point of that- might as well just stay back🤷🏽♂️
Shut your mouth, they don’t know how to explain anything
@Aki-ev6zk I know. Also they are not sure about the answers wlhi
@@zamzammohamed6286 they know the answer but they aren’t trying to tell Ali dawah all of our Somali business which he doesn’t need to know
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
12:44 🎁 Somali marriage customs: proposal negotiation by families.
14:03 🤝 "Shil" payment tradition for acceptance of proposal.
16:34 👰 Multistage celebrations, changing dresses, "Guntino," white dress.
18:09 💃 Critique of trend-focused weddings over Islamic values.
20:15 🎤 Balancing trendy weddings with Islamic principles.
20:43 🤔 Divorce due to marriage pressure and monotony.
21:24 💃 Clothing diversity and family influence in weddings.
23:55 🎉 Seven-day honeymoon bedroom tradition.
27:22 🙌 Elders' role in resolving marital conflicts.
35:08 💬 Communication and balance in polygamous marriages.
41:40 🚹 A caring husband's significance in Islam.
42:09 🤝 Warning against marrying without fulfilling rights.
42:38 👰 Woman's right to divorce for sexual dissatisfaction.
43:18 🕌 Islam's view on women's rights and divorce.
44:03 🌍 Islam permits interracial marriage, but challenges exist.
Made with HARPA AI
Marry own family and produce inbred kids
it's a shame that these individuals were brought on to represent Somalis, Two of the individuals on the panel do no represent us in the best light on social media (both a male and female, in case you're wondering). They weren't knowledgeable on the basics of Somali culture and often responded in a western/secularist view. The principles that guide a fruitful marriage within the Somali community is based on "Deen and Daqan" - religion and culture, and its a shame the former wasn't mentioned much or if at all by the Somalis.
So many mistakes throughout, please ensure a better panel on the next episodes and perhaps conduct a basic background check on those you invite on; some of the panelists have a history of racism, allowing the Deen to be slandered and disrespected on the platforms etc.
As salam u alaikum, I invite some very well spoken Somali brothers and sisters and they either dropped last minute or didn’t want to be on camera. So I tried my best to have 4 Somalis brothers and sisters. But I can’t force people.
I totally agree with everything you have said and even the way the female is dressed is not how the Somalia women dress.I hope better guess next time.M a y Allah (s/w/t)make all Muslim marriage fruitful and lasting.Ameen
Yeah that is right
@@AliDawahdo you not wonder why? People of the Somali community clearly feel you have animosity towards them. In most cases there’s no smoke without fire.
@@AliDawah you could have moved to other cultures until you found more suitable individuals.
Interesting conversation indeed! I learned so much about Somali Culture 🇸🇴 My father is from DR Congo 🇨🇩and I live in the U.S. 🇺🇸Whereas my mother is from Haiti 🇭🇹 but I was able to trace back her lineage to Sudan 🇸🇩 through African Ancestry. So I am always intrigued by the different cultures and languages within Africa 🌍 Ma Sha Allah ❤
Daily dhikr reminder 🌼💚
1.Subhanallah 2.Alhamdulillah
3.Allahu Akbar 4.Laa ilaaha illallah
5.Laa hawla wala kuwata illa billah
X5 times
Masha Allah. Well done. JazakAllahu Khairan.
The fully blurr is so cringe, just dont come to the podcast......
I was thinking the same, what did he actually contribute? 😂
Why's he blurred?
@@whyayyyerrlaffinfhorr2152because he doesn’t want to be showed
@@rtm5796 lol
I dont even understand what he is saying lol
Alhamdullilah as a Somali mum who’s children are born and breed in Europe enrolled them ( intentionally) at 99% non Muslim private schools and taught them Seraa, Hadith and Quran at home ( chose teaching them SEERA TO LOVE our PROPHET/S) I can say Alhamdullilah they choose Islamic wedding ceremonies NO MUSIC NO MIXING OF MEN AND WOMEN. instead their weddings were celebrated in Somali villages at orphanages.
My son is getting married soon. I. Allah and among the first conversations he had with our DIL to be is HALAL WEDDING.
So how they gna dance in weddings
MnshaAllah tabarakarahmaan alahuma barik mma ❤❤❤❤❤
MashAllah proud of you sister and a role model to us you don’t understand how inspiring you comment is to me and many more
Mashallah 😢 so beautiful that’s true islam
they wont its haram@@kwameopoku3576
I wish Ali got 2 elders and get a translator. A Somali uncle and a Somali Auntie. This youngsters don’t know much about the culture but they tried to share what they knew about it.
It’s about the British Somali experience and views to marriage, not just about Somali culture. Younger people are the best prepared to answer this.
The blurred guy makes you feel like your watching a Vice documentary about human trafficking 😂😂
🤣😂Exactly so creepy.
I heard his wearing female clothes 🤣🤣😂
😂😂😂
Wallahi amazing comment😂😂😂
is the blurred guy under witness protection?? lol 😂 😂 😂 😂
It reminded me of one of those serious interviews with high profile “criminals” adjusting their voices hiding in a dark background 😂😂🤣
😂
@😂QalbiNuura99
Lol couldn’t you find another Somali guy that’s willing to show his identity.
Yes absolutely no point in having him there?
Yes putting yourself out there with non Liberal opinions has never got someone lose their job or get harrased
wlh this has to be setup where the malis at uk smh dhiig isku yelaa niyoo
why? do you want to email him or something??
@@Possibly04probably slander his name in the community calling him a misogynistic incel
Please don’t bring people in your show if they don’t want show their identity. It’s disturbing
Maxuu soo doonay haduu is qarinaayo Waxan ka yaabay maxuu isku qarin karaa meshan mowduuc illegal ah miya looga hadlaya
Why on earth did they bring on this Ya3ni guy. He can barely put a sentence together. There are many educated Somali men in the UK who can better represent us.
He sounds so cringe and dumb , the blurry guy also .
Lol we don't like to be exposed like that so I'm pretty sure no other somali volunteered to be on UA-cam. You're just going to have to do with this 😂 aniga xataa waa yaabsanahay cajiib
@@faay8912 you got a point there
he was the best out of the 4 representatives in this pod
I thought the blur was bad enough but when I heard the deep voice Bisinka yasinka who is he running from ?? 6:22
Ali, I'm not sure what's with bringing people that don't really get the culture and were struggling to explain basic concepts of our marriage processes... This is the basic/general breakdown.
1) It's usually the guy and his family coming to ask for the girl's hand in marriage- like she explained.
2) Then an engagement party occurs where it's confirmed that they're going to be married and that's celebrated. Close family. (Sometimes this is done with the 1st step, people do it differently)
3) Then it's followed by the nikkah + walimah which can sometimes be done on the same day or different day.
The nikkah usually happens in the day where the men of the family sit on a stage or place and pronounce the marriage- it's also where the mehr is brought up. After that, the guests (consisting of men and women) eat lunch. (It's not like how I've seen Desi people do it where they sign a paper together with the potential wife signing something).
4) Then, at night the walimah occurs. The walimah is usually ALL women in the beginning/majority of the night. The men come once the groom walks in with his bride, last portion of the night. It is also mainly the girl and guys family and tribe that are invited- along with friends and random people from the community that crash.
Around 9 or 10pm, it is started off with a traditional dance with drums and everyone gets into a circle- the woman is singing praises on the couple and people can dance in support of what she sang. This is all done before the bride enters. Once the bride is about to enter, it's done and everyone lines up to see her walk in.
Then, she dances in with the traditional dress of her choice (1 of 2) whether it's our alindy hidiyo attire (striped) or dirac (just a glittery somali dress). She dances for a bit with her family (Mom/grandma/aunt) and entourage (bridesmaids usually are sisters/close friends) to Somali music. She also might sit and the traditional poetry dance will be done for her so she can see it and enjoy it. Then she will walk out and come back again with the other traditional attire (2/2). Then dance some more. Then walk out again.
Then the third time, usually, they walk in with the white wedding dress and her husband. Then, they have their cake cutting, first dance, and then an open floor dance with everyone. Then, they take pictures. Then walk out. ("Most western part of the night and where american /international music gets played")
5) After 7 days of being married, she has a saash saar which is a tradition meant to welcome women into womenhood/club of being married. They give her saash and jewelry.
I think they recently started doing bridal showers as well. Another thing I've started seeing is proposals, the one knee, engagement being done. Somalia is a huge country with many tribes and customs so wedding traditions can differ such as suuriyo and soo doonis or henna parties or xeedo and saash saar or hidiyo.
Since a lot has changed over the years, some things are western traditions that trickled in such as a bridal shower or the white dress, cake cutting, first dances, having music and a DJ. A lot of things are unislamic as today's world has become modernized and strayed away from religiosity in general. It's a sad reality but it's not just weddings..... many muslims don't pray, many don't fast, many celebrate christmas, drink alcohol, and dress like non muslims, free mix outside whether it's events, whether it's them being in haram relationships, whether it's them listening to music on their phone, or checking out women online. It's bigger than just weddings. If people are condemning weddings, they better be straight in all aspects of Islam too because they don't condemn the haram things they do on a norm as well. Everyone's imaan is being affected in this current world of ours in sooo many ways. It's like haram is everywhere and everyone is sinning one way or another.
And I'd also like to be open about Somali marriages. My culture does not like foreigners. The whole foreigner and interracial marriages is becoming more common due to modernization and westernization. Second and third generation Somalis are changing the culture and it's the older folk that are more traditionalistic. Somalia is heavy on the tribalism and nationalism so.... there's no way they want their culture shared with someone who isn't their blood.
I pray Allah forgives us and gives us guidance to right our wrongs.
As a somali everything you said was spot on. Its crazy how a wali is more likely to marry someone off based on culture lacking deen rather than someone who has good deen but isnt somali. Tribalism has always been Somalias weakness
The most accurate representation of Somali culture today!
thank you ur right. but some somali may be very or not so much accepting of foreigners it depends on the famils maybe? but otherwise I agree
Everything u said is 💯 ❤❤❤
Ali Dawah completely disregarded financial stability. One of the reasons why sisters say no to polygamy is because they are afraid their lifestyle will change. You have brothers who make minimum wage, barely afford to provide for their wife and kids but talk about getting a second wife? If a practicing man who follows Quran and Sunnah, follows polygamy properly, has a good loving marriage foundation and is financially able to provide for 2+ wives and kids, MOST women would ultimately be okay with it. Because the change would not be so drastic and their lifestyle would not change as much. Just because you're polygamous by nature doesn't mean you should just follow those desires. We know this as muslims.
True. There may be times where it becomes mandatory to take a second wife, but if he cannot handle it, he is not permitted to.
How can u asume they earn minimum wage and can barely afford to handle wife and kids.
@@Hahahaha-7 maybe from her witnessing.
@@Hahahaha-7 it’s not an assumption. I said “you get brothers that are making minimum wage and still asking for a second wife”. It happens and I know from personal experience. If a brother has enough money to support both and is a good Muslim most women would end up being okay with it.
@@shimmer4771 absolutely! And it’s Sunnah, no one is saying that it is a bad thing. Unfortunately in these time and age not a lot of men can afford more than 1 maybe 2 wives.
اللَّهُمَّ انْفَعْنِي بِمَا عَلَّمْتَنِي، وَعَلَّمْنِي مَا يَنْفَعُنِي، وَزِدْنِي عِلْمًا
Ameen
SOMALI PEOPLE ARE GREAT!
Not anymore it’s bleak for us
@@FatalEther34 thanks.
Lovely!
@@FatalEther34 nigga who is us?!? For YOUUUU maybe but as a Somali women we’re better than you
😂 🤣 not!!!!!
Sooryo is a small gift (around 1000 pound in UK) given to grooms family during the Nikah ceremony. It’s not only a southern culture; It exists across all Somali regions.
Not the groom, the bride’s family and friends. The grooms’s family give the sooryo to the bride’s family
@@1MeaningfulLife Yes sorry it was a typo. Sometimes half of the money is returned so it’s more of a simplistic thing. I have walked away with £20 on a few occasions just for being a distant relative of bride😂
In North we call it Galbaati instead of Sooryo and also give the family Yarad.
The groom shouldn't be given anything. It's the bride's family that's losing a family member and (traditionally at least) a maintainer of the household. And the bride needs the financial security as she's (again traditionally) not obliged to work and should thus have a good insurance policy in case they baroque doesn't work out
I'm cadaan and when I married my somali wife I refused to pay the money to the guests lol later down the line I regretted it but I had only been a muslim for a couple months before I got married it was all a bit too much trying to juggle learning the deen and somali culture in a quick time
First of all We do have henna nights, A day or two before the wedding, families and friends gather around have their heena done together dance, sing and eat. Like the sister said in somalia the ladies have a beautiful custom called saash saar. in somaliland, the somali region of ethiopia and djibouti we we have a custom called the Xeedho.The xeedho is a wooden eating bowl commonly found in alot of households in somali region ethiopia, Djibouti and somaliland. At weddings, the bowl is filled with a dish (called the muq-mad - which is the beef jerky Somali style) prepared of sun-dried meat which has been fried in butter and seasoned with spices and to which dates are added in large quantities. At the xeedho ceremony, the basket is brought to the wedding by her relatives. The bowl with the dish is usually stored in a basket consisting of two conical baskets joined at right angles, covered with a piece of tanned leather or white cloth, nicely decorated with cowrie shells and beads.
Somali shaash saar is mugdisho people's and heera is somali waqoyi
Somaliland doesn't exist and xeedho is disgusting and unhygienic.
its called Oodkac
@@shukriiii oodkac is delicious I love it, but when they put the mashed date around it and everyone touches it is disgusting. I had it made for me in my wedding I threw it in the bin and made my own without the dates.
Yes and we call it muqmad.
I didn’t know Ali dawah Quran teacher was Somali Mashallah. “Somalia the land of Quran”🇸🇴🇸🇴🇸🇴🇸🇴🇸🇴
Also Kenya especially Mombasa 😊
14:05 she's lying there is no different my mother is from the north my father from the south, Somali people have the same culture, traditions, cuisines, language, religion, history etc, it's clear she wants to push this somaliland political nonsense she's been brainwashed with, only people who push for this somaliland is one tribe (isaaq my maternal side) who were known for helping the kuffar English empire and brag about being colonized by England, the rest of the tribes in the region believe in one major Somalia. She's sick in the heart and wants to separate muslims, forget about Somalia I want one ummah who open their borders for each other no nationalism no tribulism. Allahuma ameen.
Out of the topic MashaAllah you are goregous.
Thank you to everyone for their efforts in representing 🇸🇴..umm except for the witness protection program blurred out guy ! Some of the explanations were not spot on but at least you all had the guts to be there. And thank you Ali for wanting to learn 🤲🏾
Ya3ni Ya3ni Ya3ni even Arabs don't say Ya3ni this much, he's so embarrassing and the fact that he thinks he's not Black despite being dark as midnight 😂😂😂.
Black is a construct created by the elites to put you in a box, i am a ethnicity and thats it!
Most muslims in the west are infected by the Yanni virus, it’s crazy when you’re born and raised in the west and constantly saying Yanni like an Arab lmao. They make me laugh. Wanna be Arabs crack me up.
cant lie he is a funny guy
I agree he comes across as honest and funny. He may have been born in one of the gulf countries. He doesn’t seem to have a race based concept or it’s reluctant to accept the descriptor of being Black. He spoke of his self-identity(not for Somalis in general) and identifies as MUSLIM, Somali, and African in that order and questioned what being Black means.
I can accept that although I also identify as black in addition to the above so long as he doesn’t think he Is any better than “Black people” as some erroneously do.
Your coming onto a show and you decide to have your identiry covered wth 😂😂😂
That is good though not a lot of people like to go on video or picture and a lot of my Somali people are like that 😊
Bruh, I didn't even notice that guy was there until I heard a deep voice 😂😂.. The blur is the same colour as the wall and sofa 😂😂
What a joke.
HE SHOULD WEAR A NIQAB IF HE WANNA BE SCARED AND ACT LIKE A WOMAN.
The funny part, I think is He applied to come into the show.
It makes you wonder, what he was thinking when he wrote the show requesting to become a guest.
I am a follower of Khadra on Snapchat and she is such a great mom and good woman, may ALLAH always bless her and her daughters. Love you Khadra and especially for all you do for your grandmother. May ALLAH bless her with quick recovery and good health.
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Shilajit is soo good for subahanallaah
Brother please blur the sisters this is inappropriate
Asalamu Alaykum akhi please don’t invite unhijab sister otherwise cover them.
You making it normal to disobey Allah not wear hijab plus it’s sin as her Awrah is outside.
Jasakalaahu Khayr I’m Somali 🇸🇴 btw in case someone scream racism or something
why does a woman have the right to divorce if she isn't sexually satisfied?
@@alsononeofyourbusiness Bc she is human who has a need and it needs to be fulfilled. And Alhamdulilah It’s basic right that Allah SWT gave us in Islam.
This is a very intersting one and im excited to finish this series
This people don’t really know much about the culture. You should have got more educated people about our culture
Exactly that's what I was saying
The Somali brother is a noble Macedonian, 99% of Somali men stand by him ! Khadra on the other hand is a somali ‘karen’ it sickens me
Let's not bring the dumb Macrobian conspiracy theory. Somali = Muslim Somali.
Ammus emasculated
@@zakssznwho are today’s macrobians? People from Puntland?
na he failed us. He is just a guy with an opinion and camera. I thought he would be more educated and more articulate in what he say but this video proves otherwise.
@@mose4319Its not his first language tbf, they should’ve brought a UK mali or Warya Warrior, he’d make it hilarious 😂
Nothing can be understood from the blurred man. Why did he participate in the show in the first place?
😂😂😂😂😂 hee looks like a drug dealer
Much love to all my Somali brothers and sisters, your culture is amazing!!
I was at wedding last night and the glass guy is right. Black American Dancing is new to our culture like party and club
39:50 I'm sorry but I think it's you brothers who are living in Disneyland. Realistically how many men can afford having two wives or more in the West? It's not like there is an excess of muslim millionaires who can fully provide and have the time and energy to have multiple wives and children. In reality most brothers are just getting by, and are even dependent on their wives contributing financially. So until brothers really get to a point where they can fully provide and what not. They shouldn't even be talking about polygyny. And just to make it clear i'm actually not against polygyny personally, but I believe it should be done right.
A man doesn't need to be a millionaire to take care of more than one wife. Or even 4 wives. There are men out there who can practise polygamy properly, even then, some ignorant disrespectful women still complain trying to make the man look like he's doing something wrong. Even though Polygamy is permissible. They lack respect for the nature of men.
@@shimmer4771 Like I said a woman's emotions are not on a pedestal. A woman being upset by something, it doesn't mean that 'something' always has anything wrong with it. Furthermore a woman being emotional is not an excuse to make a man look like he's done something wrong when he married a second wife. Polygamy is permissible. Also, I never insinuated that I expect the second wife to be celebrating. She will be emotional, then she should bear patience, and rightfully so. As the man has done nothing wrong, he has done something which Allah made permissible.
Edit: The woman will also be rewarded more for being patient when her husband practises polygamy.
@@999legend8 It depends. The women who aren't being treated badly are wrong and are sinning. The women who are, aren't. I am saying this because there are brothers who take a second wife and they don't support them fairly or they don't even divide their time evenly. The minute a sister brings a valid complaint, she's called a feminist. This is an issue that's rarely discussed.
@@999legend8 I know. The Prophet peace be upon him said "Allah has decreed jealousy on women and jihad on men. Whoever accepts that and bears it with patience seeking the reward shall receive theirs in full without reckoning." Now, I can say if we could see the reward for having bore it with patience, we would be rushing for him to take all 4 wives. I will say this.
@@999legend8 In this economy, i'd argue that you should at least be a millionaire. It's not about disrespeting a mans wishes, but rather being realistic as the financial burden islamically is on the men.
May Allah bless our brothers and sisters of ummah with Jannah ❤
Aameen summa Aameen ❤
Ali please do another panel with other somali sisters and brothers who are fully aware of our Somali culture, these brothers and sisters misrepresented us especially the brother with the sunglasses, he couldn't separate our beautiful honorable Culture from the modern un Islamic things that some people do now days in weddings. And the girls couldn't articulate the process of marriage which takes several steps that are unique to our Somali customs and traditions.
My brother all somalis like you and we want a show on turkish culture 🇸🇴🇸🇴🇹🇷🇹🇷. I like the bitter and truth show. Watching from Mogadishu
It’s sucks to be represented and not correctly. “The south and the north” have the same tradition and practices, each family is different tho. Please bring people who can represent us matter and know their customs and traditions.
The Somali culture is very dynamic and varied, the choice of panel could have been given better thought and representation.
Exactly.
Ok can I just correct a few things - Monetary stuff thats payed - Sooryo - the family of the man bring it to the family of the girl they want to marry as a gift. This is usually brought by the females as part of 'isbarasho' alongside some clothing and perfumes for the girl. The second is the Yarad - this is paid on the day of the Nikah and is given to the family of the girl. The Meher is not paid as it belongs to the girl and she can request it when they divorce or before then like the regular islamic tradition. Regarding Somali Weddings its 7 days - IE where the todobobax came from, the couple dont leave the house and its their time to get to know each other as a couple. 1. Wedding and they enter the house , 3. The Xeryo is opened in the house - so these are gifts handed from the females family to the family of the man its basically jugs with meat , popcorn, cake, sweets it can have anything and the man has to open it so they know he is worthy to take care of the women. 7. is the day the couple can leave the home.
but if they married without mehr doesnt that make their marriage invalid
@@eh7947 is that islamicly or its the culture
@@namunyack it's Somali culture sister. Subhan'Allah some men don't pay the women ever 😢. It's Sunnah to pay the full Mehr during the Nikkah walaalo.
@@Connect_with_Yourself i heard about that and some dont even pay the advance mehr which makes their marriage invalid. i heard some dont pay the mehr because their excuse is "she'll get it when she wants to divorce if not then its useless" subhanaAllah they should stop that and follow the deen correctly
@@namunyack you are married with meher but it’s not handed to you straight away unless you request it
First comment, keep up the good work ali
10 minutes in and I ended up in the comments as this is already a hard watch! Glad it’s not just me. I usually enjoy your episodes I think the people who came are not the most articulate
I said to my somali father I will marry a foreigner, as jokingly, then he asked if he was white or black. Who will like to i marry, he says black. my daddy is a very funny person, i know he'll never judge about color or tribe as long as he is Muslim and also akhlaq he'll be happy for me.
Lol my dad would NEVER let my sister marry an Ajnabi 😂
@@skp8748 Alhamdullilah mine as long as he’s muslim He welcomes it mashallah no racist انمل مومنین اخوه ☪️☝️
@@ilhandhimbil2837 it's not about racist it's about he wants somali grandchildren
@@skp8748stop being jealous
@@skp8748 that's because he didn't understand islam very well
39:00 as a man, and I'm not saying to be a hero. I'm absolutely not "polygamous by nature". We fleetingly fantasise yes, I'm sure women even do it. But that's not enough to say "we're polygamous by nature".
I'm far too lazy to spend one week in one house, another week in another. First and foremost.... And secondly I fear about potential children from both families as other families and kids will gossip and no doubt bully them. The kids from the second wife will always feel like they're the second rate kids compared to the other. It's too messy and complicated for me. It will affect me emotionally to see the hurt in one of my wife's eyes when i have to leave her to go to the other house. I just wouldn't be able to do it practically or emotionally.
You of all people, given that you're on the dawah scene, need to appreciate taking oaths on Allah is a very serious matter. Don't be so casual with it, especially when you don't know the full facts.
alhamdulilah. I saw many men also claiming they are not polygamy by nature.May God reward you for speaking your truth n about urself, brother. And woman love men in general for looks body money etc and men also love woman generally for things. But loving opposite gender as human being is universal. Some men they want one wife that thes can love n have fun life with that is it. So I do respect you coming out here speaking rhe truth. every man have to speak for himself to avoid i just claim. alhamdulilahi
Why is that person blurred? What’s the point
Asalamu Alaykum akhi please don’t invite unhijab sister otherwise cover them.
You making it normal to disobey Allah not wear hijab plus it’s sin as her Awrah is outside.
Jasakalaahu Khayr I’m Somali 🇸🇴 btw in case someone scream racism or something
totally agreed!! im somail btw too
what do you mean@@user-bz8zq4mk3l
Lol I'm just a cadaan as i believe it's called, but i felt embarrassed watching this. These guys don't represent the Somalis i know. I can see why some people are annoyed
Salaam Ali, the blurred brother is problematic from a watching experience point of view, very jarring. Maybe there was an issue and you had to blur him in post? Otherwise nobody should go on there unless they are ok with being seen.
Who is blurred Guy?? Is he a criminal 😂😂😂
Secret Somali agent 😏
Gangiiiistar
😂
The glasses guy speak in English Arabic accent more than the Arabs themselves😂
Somalis are Arabs.
He sure diid 😂😂😂😂
@@خلودا-م5ط no they arent
It is always initiated by the boy and if it happens the girl and boy like each other, the girl would tell the boy to go meet her family but the boy don’t go over to the family himself so he talks to his family about it then the boy’s family takes some elders from the community and go to the girl’s family for acceptance and after that long process lol man will spend a lot $$$$
I'm glad that the brother with the glasses and Ali hinted to seeing abuse as "trivial" especially when it comes to divorce & polygamy. I always tells sisters please, for the love of Allah, get evidence of abuse. Track it. Make sure you have cameras at least in the main areas of your home. Take photos of any physical bruises, voice record, and if you can get witnesses, even better. The Muslim community as a whole doesn't seem concerned with this issue and actually downplays it, especially brothers because they're the ones doing it.
They hide behind being against feminism while simultaneously pushing sisters into it. Like a sister puts her safety & well-being in his hands, and he proves himself to be untrustworthy and a monster. But somehow, thats feminisms' fault. I remember even Muhammed Hijab admitted that there are no group of people who create more feminists than men. And ironically, the western courts are much better at punishing abusers more than the Muslim community is. So they're following the shariah better than Muslims which is beyond embarrassing.
he literally didn't say that, he said date nights going from twice a week to twice a month was trivial and abuse is the 'brutal' example i.e. not trivial...
feminist indoctrination has you hallucinating
@@stari313 You know that’s not why divorce happens majority of the time. And that’s not the context of his statement. Anyhow, I’ve seen a lot of brothers in the comment sections and in these types of videos always making it seem like divorce happens for trivial reasons because they downplay abuse so hard. No reason is ever significant enough to divorce for men.
You’re the one hallucinating. Sisters still need to get evidence considering there are so many spineless brothers who deny abuse ever happens.
@@-glitch-8195if they did wrong, they will have to answer to Allah. However, the women have the option to stay or leave. It may be better to stay.
Let's forgive the brothers. As Muslims, it's best if we keep things to ourselves.
@@shimmer4771 Oh so we're supposed to have no sense of justice and let these types of people be? This is the mentality in the Muslim community. No wonder we're seen in such a negative light. We enable people's bad behaviors simply because of who they are, and never call them out for what they are.
Sister, you are more than welcome to forgive abuse or mistreatment. Thats on you, but not every sister wants to be treated as less than human.
As a Somali hijab women, I’m angry to see those ladies representing us especially that hijab women percentage are more than non hijab ones. I would attend the talk but I live in USA.
Such an irrelevant comment 🙄.
I'm not. In fact I'm not suprised by them cos they are westerners after all and I don't judge or shame them for anything cos well I'm not marrying any of them why is it got to do with me. I can't do anything for my own community since I'm not a leader but I can advice them on it but if they don't want to take it that's cool.
38:00 I disagree that the wife is the headache. The responsibility placed upon us with a 2nd wife, that is the headache.
And this man need to stop swearing by The Creator about something only The Creator could know about. You cannot generalise, and at the same time swear by The Creator that its 100% true for everyone
When it comes to marriage the sunnah is enough, for all of us, white black brown asian it doesnt matter, we live in different cultures but what shouldn't be allowed regardless of culture is haram in any way shape or form.
As long as we follow the sunnah and Quran we will be fine.
Marriage traditions in Somalia
Seven-day ceremony
Long wedding ceremonies are the norm in Somalia, and weddings are known to
last as long as seven days. On the first day, the actual wedding is performed,
which is then followed by different ceremonial rites in the subsequent days where
the respective families can hold their separate ceremonies.
Engagement ceremony
Before the actual wedding is allowed to take place, the groom must ask for the
hand of his bride in marriage from her father. He may be accompanied by family
members to make the marriage proposal, and upon acceptance, he will present
gifts as a courtesy to his bride's family.
GIFTS
The custom in Somali weddings is for there to be gift sharing during the wedding
reception. Here, the guests will present various gift items to the newlyweds as a
way of congratulating them on their marriage. Most gifts are often money or
jewelry.
As a Moroccan in the Netherlands, can’t wait for the Moroccan episode 😂🤣 I hope it’s not to shameful
Hhhhhhh 😂
😂😂😂😂I wanna watch that disappear I'm not Morocco
Alleen als geert wilder uitgenodigd wordt als special guest 😂
@@user-bz8zq4mk3lyeah true
@@user-bz8zq4mk3l why?
The blurred and voiceless man has completely ruined my enjoyment and experience off this video, you were better off not including him… waste off such a high potential video. Not happy at all
Why??
Maybe he doesn't want to be recognised by the viewers because people are quick to judge about certain views
Those people don’t now anything about somali culture or marriage. You have wrong panel.
Wow I’m so flattered that you have so much interest in our culture mashallah. I don’t even know who these Somali kids are but they are diaspora Somalis which means they don’t know much. Look for older Somalis who are more culturally aware. There is ALOT of cultural traditions that take place during marriage in its heavily based on clans. The money that is paid to the brides family is actually paid only if you are marrying a different clan. It is distributed to the brides clan who attend the wedding. There is an entire ceremony that takes place when the money is handed off to the brides family as well and in involves clan representatives/leaders.
Jazakallah
The Somali sister in the hijab and abaya is so beautiful allahumabarik ❤
ما شاء الله.
I concur
Haram!
Lower your gaze.
Don't look at her, it's haram.
As a somali this was a cringed episode,the girl with head scarf was only one making sense ...
I don't think that they said anything right about the somali Traditional marriage 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 they are say walhis😂😂😂
what was the point of the guy that's blurred out being on the show brav LOL
The principle somali is very funny and entertaining 😂
The girl with the hat came there with no Somali knowledge! MashaAlah to the other girl that spoke very well
Ik but both they good because they work together on each topic mnshallah❤
@@halabdi2024 yeh respect for both for even doing it! But sometimes at least do research cz non Somalis will be confused now
She came with no Islamic knowledge either.
The other girl has no knowledge either. Very embarrassing to watch tbh. I cringed when she said south and north 🤦♀️
@user-xb7ly5ee2h There was no need even. She is qabiilist
A lot of women have a horrible attitude then they get upset when the men don't want to marry them anymore. Try and take accountability and look at yourself. 😊
Yes. True.
not every is striving to be married, maybe get rid of that assumption
Not all women have a horrible attitude, though. I have seen women with pretty good attitudes.
@@shimmer4771 I agree not all women you are right. May Allah give more blessings to the good women and make me a better man too.
@@999legend8 and a lot of women may not be aware of religious rulings, like for example, in Islam, women do not change their last name to their husband's.
Even our neighbours Ethiopians and Eritreans do not consider themselves black. Surprise 💭
The same problem we have. 🧐
Dark skin people have a same problem with that so no surprise for me…
Lies I never heard any Ethiopian saying they are not black
@@munaahmed9064The Habesha Ethiopians also denied themselves like us Somalis. Shameful
@@munaahmed9064yh they say they are habesha not black
In the somali community its about tribe if we are being honest. Im from somaliland and i dont care about tribalism but its preferred to marry within the same qabil.
South aint't like that
That’s absolutely not true, I’m from somaliland too and my parents only had the condition of the person being a practicing Muslim with a good reputation: personality.
@@ladan3208thats not the same for 99% of somalis though.
It's called clan not tribe, no such thing as Somaliland exists, its called north of Somalia.
@@shukriiiigreat answer to the langaab 😂😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👌👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
When the brother in the glasses said “ I agree with them” and then the girl with the hat said “wow” wth? So un called for 🤦🏾♂️ she gives feminist vibes 🤢
Ur so weak
Lighten up weirdo stop trying to control what people say or do.
It’s because on his online videos he attacks women 😅
Who is he?
he looks like the Somali Ali Dawah😂
He really does!😂😂😂
Omg I thought I was the only one who noticed .
Somali brothers and sisters we all love you from Pakistan
Beautiful culture
This should be entertaining, as a Somali I can't wait for this to make me laugh
This is shame for us we the only blk oeople who doesn't put our business and problems online wtf is wrong with yall in the west
@@yoursnatchedwig2856 honestly? There's a lot of things that we can critise about the west and how they handle things
I know Ali Da'wah bringing him on board has a reason, but blurring his whole image, changing his audio, everything, makes it look somehow. I really love the works, may Allāh keep him steadfast, but please next time, try work around it. May Allāh grant you success and reward you abundantly ❤
Assalamu alaykum…
I think the host need to invite the elderly person to discuss the matter to the core because they know best this generation have no experience neither do they understand it well …
Yh, I agree
We're not getting the parents or grandparents married lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Elderly person will have old fashioned views and doesn't really understand the younger generation as they were brought up in a different era so it's pointless.
How do you apply for the show?
As salam u alaikum, thebittertruthshow@gmail.com
Guy hiding ruined the quality of the podcast, very difficult to listen to, please don’t allow this a second time
The first question is simple. The girl and the boy get to know each other and date. when they decide to get married then they get the parents involved.
Ali needs to also talk about about his Kurdish community it’s only fair
What do you mean you are not black Abdi 😂I bet people get confused af when a Somali calls them black 😂
Very insightful and entertaining video.
This is very interesting debate. Thanks Ali and other debaters.
Why are we blurring men but not women?
He probably wanted to be blurred for his own reasons
Take a shot of Sam Sam water every time the guy says yacni 💀
Looking forward to be amomgst the panel of speakers some day!
The girl with the hat is not a good representative for somali women. She knows nothing about our culture, and she was only there to diss the brother with the shades. I kindly request to never let her on again, as she will make us look Very bad.
It was the one in the hijab who dissed him.
Mashallah I like Ali Dawah you’re so funny specially when you said Hoyoo and Aboo
Somaliland specifically north west do xeedho ceremony with dried camel meat for the bride and many other differences im not sure if the girl was from eastern part of Somaliland sool and wasn’t aware
Sool is SSC Khaatumo. Eastern somaliland is Burco.
We are very aware of xeedh in sool since when was it confined to the north west?
@@AA-sc6iw Very well said.
You are wrong the brides family give it as a gift to the groom
Xeedho originates from ssc so idk what you’re getting at here and the girl is from Somaliland.
Woy these guys doesn't know much abt somali culture marriage
Let's say that u are interested to a girl and wants to progress it
at first you have to seek hand for marriage you come to her family with your male side of your family like your father and uncles you give out dowry and plan for the of nikkah and weeding day and after the 7days of the weeding ends there is another celebration day where the female side of both family gather and celebrate .bless each other and story ends .
Also we have arranged marriage where your parents brings you a man of their interest but they will give enough time to understand each b4 the proposal day
To put things in simple perspective. The boy finds the girl, he goes back to his parents and tells about her. The girl could play her part to let the family know she's found someone so she notifies her parents some guests are going to come over to ask for her hand. Trusted men who reached the age of Puberty will come with the boy to meet the male family of the girl. If accepted. You pay a small amount to the parents as a form of gratitude it could be anything. Then you plan ahead the Nikaah. You invite whomever you please to it. The girl and the boy will be in seperate rooms during the process. A shiekh will be present there with some witnesses from both families. The dowry is made, which the boy will accept or refuse which is a demand the girl makes. Once signed. They are permissible to each other. However, some take it a bit further and add Wedding to it which includes the Somali culture dances etc and the couples dancing in the middle holding hands but it's a different case. Some girls demand it while some don't in their dowry.
Had to comment about the noise behind the cameras. None of the previous episodes had these issues. Sorry to be negative but it was extremely distracting
Is the brother blurred out on the run?
My somalis🇸🇴💙
i wanted to watch but i already saw in the comments that they missed the important tings and they didn't represent us well so i don't want to feel embarrassed 😌
Shout out to my akhi in shades legend ma shaa Allah 👑 at the same time my Somali ‘qariin’ is whispering in my ear the blurred brother ‘waa qolama’ ?
At times you elope with your lover and under the company of 3rd person mostly a Man and the girl/lover/Bride to the family of the male/husband to be thereafter a council will relay either physically or via phone confirming the safer arrival and that she should not be declared Missing and then the council/Old responsible members launch a request for the marriage of the lady however it might be rejected or approved
What’s the point of having someone on the show if they are going to be blurred and have their voice altered? Super dumb
Very interesting to watch as a Somali, wish it was longer. Good job Ali 👍🏾
wish it was shorter!
Wish it didn’t exist 🤮
Okey this was the most confusing somali people. Either they don’t understand the questions that Ali is asking or they don’t know their own culture SubhanAllah easy questions but they make it so complicated 😢
Been waiting on dis shoutout Principled Somali, bro actually pulled up