*SERIOUSLY!! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU BRING ON NOBODY'S LIKE THIS DISGUSTING VILE INDIVIDUAL MAHDI!!!* I say this as a GUY!!! THIS GUY IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF WHAT OUR BELOVED PROPHET ESPOUSED AND STOOD FOR!! *LOST ALOT OF RESPECT FOR YOU MR Ali!!*
What sort of conversations are these? Is this a joke? Why do we need to debate about this? After watching your video, the men who actually do cook or clean, might not do so because of the negative influence and corruption you are spreading by these useless conversations. If a man doesn't clean his plate after he has finished eating, thats a child, NOT a man! You need to stop giving an illusion that all muslim men are tyrants at home. Where is the mens ettiqutte or good manners in islam. Men cannot walk home and demand things, this is not islam! It is common sense to clean up after yourself and good manners, and sunnahs of prophet. He was the most busiest man, and worked so hard during his prophecy, yet he still mended his own clothes and helped around. And you men work from home and say you are not lifting a finger. Shame on you'll. Also why is the term 'feminist' thrown around all the time? What does it even mean these days? What are you trying to achieve with using that term? Not one of them women on that panel are modern days feminists. Most muslim women are not modern day feminists. Stop throwing it around. Your videos are really painful to watch. You're not even having these conversatioms around the context of islam, but just on the basis of how you and some other men feel. Also stop bringing "I provide and protect so you have to cook and clean in return" in this debate. You are told directly by Allah swt that you must provide and protect. End of. You cannot hold that as ransome. You men defend women in islam by telling non muslims that women are highly respected in islam- but your conversations are giving the impression that women just clean and cook and thats the only reason she is married to a man. Phrase your debates better and make things clearer and do not lead people astray. I do not get a peaceful vibe from your videos @Ali Dawah. I don't know if its the way you speak, structure things or apply your own perspective into things... but its very negative..and doesnt make my imaan stronger, which i assume these videos should and that's your aim. Wallahi i need to stop watching your videos for my sake and Allahs sake. May Allah guide everyone to goodness.
@@mrsuperflyhigh1exactly sister... my blood is boiling with the sigh of this man, he makes me physically feel sick because he is a nasty man! Lost respect for Ali Dawah for bringing him along! ALI DAWAH what are you doing this man, is he a scholar? He is a sexual predator who loves promoting his haram marriages... the way he talks about with no respect... look mohammed hijab MashaAllah such a talented educated man, yet he is soo soft and respectful with women!!
Married 5+ years with three kids, I think I am entitled to have opinions. My wife is main cook. However, when I am off from work I do house work and cook and look after the kids when she goes to university. It’s all about corporation and understanding and communicating. She makes my life easier and I try to make her life easier. There is no competition rather corporation. Don’t listen to outside noises rather solve your problems and make each other life easier. I love my wife. Stop this fake red bill and feminist ideology and treat with each other with respect and kindness and selflessness because the end of the day it’s about the kids.
yes, this is true . also pitting women against men is the treachery that ruins many people . Accept to get up before the dawn for your ibadah you need to put the basics of the deen and iman of the Quran before all this don't completely give up your entire religion . This said Ibrahim after going to sacrifice his son did not because it was wrong . Your family often takes president .
@@kojo2773 it's not necessarily about expectation but rather support for one another. If you love someone, you will be happy to support them in their role if they are struggling e.g. financially, if a husband is struggling 1 month, a loving wife will help cut costs, she'll cut demands not because she's obliged to but because she wants to help you when you're struggling. That doesn't mean you never spend on her anymore,never buy her gifts or clothes, but its that out of her good heart, she tells you not to ignore that stuff for now. Similarly, a husband should be willing to help his wife in stuff he is able to do. If he can't cook, then at least show support to clean sometimes, out of love for her and to help when she's struggling.
I used to sound like these guys when I was a little boy before i was married with children. Before I've seen my wife breast feed 3 babies, seen cesareans, plus cooks, cleans, teaches my babies and gives her body to me. Sometimes we are truly selfish and disgusting and I'm truly ashamed of who I used to be. Me building my business and making money is nothing compared to what she does.
Brother, it’s the fact the you realise shows how far you have come and have matured. These lots are still immature no matter how many children they have.
MashāAllaah thabarraak. This is growth in marriage from the male perspective. May Allah SWT Allow us all to appreciate our spouses, both husband and wife.
@@lamomahmood694 bro I'm not comparing. We're all powerful in our own way, male and female. But if you see a woman go all out that's when you learn to respect women deeper. You'll understand when you meet a sincerely devoted woman, that gives all of herself to please her family. The reason it's admirable is because no matter how much I try I could never be as selfless as my wife.
@@1090shaz Alhamdulillah. I have to keep it real, my wife is on another level in her sacrifices. I could never sacrifice as much as she does. But it's her selflessness that makes me go even harder, because if she's going all in then I'm going all in too insha Allah...
I would help my wife. But, she should not have the expectation that I’m going to help her. I will do it because I love her not because it’s my duty. My duty is to Provide for the family and to help raise the kids.
Yes, my Dad never did anything! I was surprised when my husband was cooking and cleaning. I try to get it all done but I stop by the store and get home late so he cooked dinner. Is there a way to stop him?😂I work part time cause he sent the children to his home country because US has a bad influence on kids.
Hamdulah my husband is not like YOU guys ! I had 2 complicated pregnancies, cesarean section, postpartum, 2 tornado children, 2 years of breastfeeding, 2 years of lack of sleep. Fortunately my husband was there for the household chores, he does it himself when he sees that I am overwhelmed, I cook, but sometimes a pizza in the oven will be enough. so it has to be fluid and natural and don’t dare ask for help. We are not superhumans. later when the children are at school it’s easier to organize.
I'm not married but there is nothing wrong with a man helping his wife to cook, clean, look after kids. Helping her is part of the relationship, this is love.
I think the problem arises when one party is putting more effort than the other. If both spouses are appreciative and acknowledge the efforts that each has done i think marriages will be more successful. Also not being critical of the spouse. As long as the effort is there the outcome doesn't matter.
Hebr 1,2 Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, *by whom also he made the worlds;* as everyone can see the term Son of God refers to the Word of God = god himself! For through that God created the worlds! *what a mistake in the Qur'an!*
@@khadsykoo2528 yes 100%. Some times the husband or wife may be tired and it's understandable if they have not got all chores done. They are people at the end of the day not robots. Marriage is a partnership or takes both parties to make it work and be understanding and lenient for it to work.
This is so sad treating marriage like a business, value here, value there. When you love each other you’ll do what it take to make the other happy and find compromise instead of fighting and forcing each other! I am not married yet, but I will not be against doing the houseworks as much as I can, even if I am working, and it will be really nice to see my husband imply himself in them too.
You don't make any sense. The girls wanted the husband to pay 100% of the bills and do household chores. They're pretty much saying the husband should shoulder 80% of the workload and receive 50% of the credit. Teamwork is 50/50 at all times.
@@DestroyerOffofc not I wouldn't be made if my husband payed like 70 or 80 percent of the bills and I would pay like the 30/20 percent of the bill just like I except to do that why font my man help me a bit not alot but like at least the dishes that's it !!! Or at least like one/two chorse in the house
Instead of viewing your relationship with your wife as a boss-employee dynamic based solely on a contractual agreement, it's better to consider yourselves as a team, with a strong sense of empathy towards each other.
I grew up in a traditional household but I still saw my dad cook,clean, iron clothes, paint the house etc… not all the time but especially if my mother was doing a lot. Having a wife doesn’t equal becoming disabled and not being able to do basic life skills. We also had a timetable of chores both girls and boys had to help out. He literally told us that he doesn’t like how our culture only makes mothers and girls contribute to the house, my brothers have hands too
Is ur mom paying the bills? Is ur dad ur slave? He spends hours to make money for u to enjoy n then expect him to contribute in the meaningless job at home. Why did your mom not help him to provide and protect? What's a wm's role in a relationship? Are you an egg?
I felt really sad watching this video, because our Muslim men have come to the point of making going to work such a big thing. All I heard was "if I go to work...blah blah blah". When I was growing up, men of my father's generation went to work and didn't make a big issue about it. I never once heard them say "i go to work" because they knew that's what they did as men, provide for their families. And they worked very very hard! What has society come to? So sad!
I understand what you are saying, but men back then was proud to go work and it was a normal thing because traditional roles existed and was the normal thing. The men would go to work and would a have wife to come home to who looked after the kids and cooked and cleaned. Traditional roles is frowned upon todays society unlike before when men used worked like it was normal and didn’t need to mention it. Men are starting to mention it now specifically because they are still expected of being the traditional providers and working but when they want a traditional wife who cooks and cleans it is frowned upon. Therefore they must mention “ If I am going to work…..” then they want a wife who will play her part of the traditional dynamic between husband and wife. If it was still like the old days when men would have traditional households by default then they would never need to mention the fact about working today. That is the difference between your fathers generation and this generation. It’s the same as saying women of your mothers generation cooked and cleaned the house and didn’t make a big issue about it. It works both ways and the issue is double standards that causes these problems. Women want to marry a traditional husband who protects and provides but get offended or upset by the idea of being the traditional wife.
And they worked harder than any of these podcast wife be*ters do... none of these men could even bare a day of the hard work that my father did b4 he retired and still does work part time. He would also help with the household chores as much as he cud...and as I live on my own, he even helps me out with bits and bobs though I've told him not to...alhamdulillah proud to have a real man as my father... these kids... including Ali bro who invited an actual ab*ser... can't hold a candle to my father... all bunch of drama Queens that need to clout to hate on women...
@TheNiaz55 you keep deluding yourself with that bro... Women, especially in our ummah are still brought up with the idea that they will be doing the housework and looking after kids... in most households... even in kafir households women still do major amount of the so called traditional feminine role... difference is that many have to work now cos one person working is not enough... yet men will still expect to not be the ones who shud help out in the house cos its not their role... even though they hardly work as hard as our fathers did...in much more difficult conditions and actually used to do a lot more in the house. You are probably someone who is still fed by their mother or sister...yet is thinking that your future wife will not unfortunately replace them... cos she will know that she will get stuck with the double burden to support you financially cos your job isn't enough to keep up with the cost of living but still find time to cook and clean for u... up your game in supporting her...and she will happily be the "traditional wife" And even then don't forget that your job will be limited to 40hrs tops .. hers will be 24 hours 7 days a week...with no weekend or holidays especially after birthing your kids
People seem to underestimate how hard it is to watch after children especially those with special needs. A regular job seems like a holiday next to it let’s be honest.
What is a regular job? A special needs kid is an awful lot of work, but so is majority of jobs. All the men in my family died early, bcs of scarred lungs, basically suffocating to death, bcs of the work they had to do for their wifes and kids. Bad backs, rough hands and dried out skin. Most men don't work in cozy offices with coffee and whatever.
Aisha, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), was asked, “What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family (كَانَ يَكُونُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ) and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari) The word used in the hadith is mihnah (مِهْنَة), which is translated as ‘busy serving’ here, also means in the Arabic language ‘work’, ‘job’, ‘profession’, etc. This implies helping your wife in the house is a full time job as well. Whether it’s helping wash the dishes, cooking, cleaning, raising the kids, etc., is all part and parcel of being the ‘man’ of the house. The notion that it is somehow degrading for men to help and work with the wife around the house is foreign to Islam. In another report Aisha is reported to have said, “He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.” (Adab Al-Mufrad graded sahih by Al-Albani) In yet another report it is said that she said, “He milked his goat.” (Ahmad) Hence, he did not find such things too ‘womanish’ for him to do. It is no wonder that he said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Tirmidhi; Ibn Majah)
@Cooler The Tyrant he's talking about a different word..check the spelling brother. The word the brother referred to literally means profession (which is another name for a job)..the word you're referring to means the explanation you've provided above. Avoid name calling Baraka Allah Feek
This is the only thing that need to be said on this matter. So thankyou for using proofs to make the most valid point! These guys have so much arrogance it is sickening astaghfirullah! May Allah Guide us all towards humility.
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam. It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house
This video is so damaging to the Muslim community. As a Muslim, I am so embarrassed that non-Muslims now have a peak into this lowly and degenerate problem that we have: men who are unable to look at their wives as human beings who deserve compassion and empathy. Here we are, calling our wives as “maids”, inviting a man who has restraining orders from his ex-wives and children due to abuse to give advice about marriage. And we wonder why people say Islam oppresses women. You heard it here from their own mouth. Wal iyathoobillah
Unfortunately I was shaking my head every time this brother guest in the middle spoke.. extremely embarrassing.. Allah has given us sisters so much beautiful blessings being Muslims.. the sister who spoke about the reward of looking after her husband, beyond what is expected of her, is the type of view we need to share to both Muslims and non Muslims.. but this brother who speaks of his wives as purely what he gains, as if Allah has made a wife's life with no enjoyment or beneficial to her life outside her responsibilities to her husband and children isn't islamic.. his mouth is why non Muslims think Islam is made for men..
I agree. They should not make such videos that make the religion look terrible. Representing muslims the wrong way and this with so many views, people will get really a bad idea. May Allah protect us. Protect us for showing things like this for UA-cam views…
There’s a brother in this video who was abusive and has abandoned at least 2 of his children. The ummah hide secrets and ppl like him are in these positions giving out terrible advice.
@Olivia Silvera I don't understand why he was brought on to even talk.. a conversation without Islam being the foundation, is damaging to us as Muslims and feeds into the negative view non Muslims have about us.. 2 of the brothers being divorced, but talking about marriage subjects.. very disappointing, when there could be good knowledge for us on this large platform brother Ali has..
This is exactly why we need to take our knowledge from scholars! La hawla wala quwwata illah billah. It's scary how confidently some people espouse such ignorance. May Allah subhanahu wa taala guide us all, ameen.
As a muslim man, I'm ashamed of what they are stating here. My mom raised me such that she never let me cook, I never ever polished my shoes till I started going to college. We are three brothers and have no sisters. We were good at school so she made sure that we don't get distracted. Then I went out for higher education and had to leave my city. I was alone then because my mom wasn't there for me and I learnt many things on my own. From youtube etc sometimes asking my mom why some things I made were not tasting good. Even now when I go back to my city my mom does everything for me. I have a huge respect for my mom and all the women out there. Especially, our Muslim women take so much care of us. Nikah is like getting into one team as our great teacher Prophet (S.A.W) showed us and set a good example for us. There are no hard boundaries in team. Everyone has each other's back whenever its needed. I don't see anything wrong in helping your partner.
A also pray to Allah to protect us (men) from women who prioritize their careers over their family, who refuse to fulfill their duties as a mother and wife. Amin. You say Amin too.
I agree, and from a woman's perspective, seeing the men's opinions about certain things, I was like "Woah, is it really necessary to say that?", some of the things they said were just really badly constructed. Like I get where they're coming from (kinda) but still really embarrassing as a whole.
They said nothing wrong. It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam. It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house - If anyone has a problem with this go learn and study your religion instead of speaking from feminism and your desires. If a man has a good wife that fulfils his rights, by default he will be more inclined to help her, though it is not his responsibility. So if you want a man to help you out of love, then fulfil these mandatory rights like being obedient to him, etc.
My greatest experience alhamdulillah is seeing the birth of my child. I was holding up my wife’s leg and telling her to push in the labour ward. That experience allowed me to appreciate mothers so much more. Alhamdulillah
That's how it should be. Some males want to act like the victims when the woman is the one going through the extreme physical pain. Have you seen those videos where males whine/scream when a period/contractions simulator is put on them? I pray there is a special place in Hell for males who don't support, appreciate and help their wives through this process that kills many women. Bringing a child into the world is worth more than anything they can do.
Brothers idk why it's so hard to relate to u guys who are born and bought up in the west. This whole thing about seeing the birth of your child is completely a western notion, it's not in any of the other places around the Muslim Ummah. In the old times or even recently in places that have not been westernised, the woman in labor will accompanied by midwife and her mother. That's it. That's how my parents and grandparents were born. The men wouldn't allowed inside until the baby's born. Even right now, most of my male family members will never be present during childbirth or rather they would be highly preferred not to by their own wives and mothers. I live in a place where there are people of other religions, and the strange thing is that this is not just a muslim thing it's practiced by everybody. Maybe it's a culture thing, maybe the western culture has permeated in your mind and religion.
@@dearrationals nobody's downplaying physical pain that a woman have to suffer during labor. Rather it's about this western notion of the husband being present during childbirth that is in question. This is a foreign practice that has never been mentioned by the prophet or the Qur'an. There's also a special place in hell for those who will twist or make up something that's not in Islam for some kind of an agenda.
@@Aamirmhmd99 you dont need to be present in the birthroom but at least have the human decency and show that you care and are excited and thankful. She has one of her most critical and emotional moments in her life and this shaytan faced dude is talking like he couldnt care less went to sleep. She could die or your children could die or want you to be around when the child is born. What kind of antisocial behavior is this? What are you people? People like you only bring fitna. You people act like you never learn social mannerisms and dont know how to be a spouse.
@@Qwertyuiop-xz3kj i get your point but we don't know the situation. His wife was giving birth at his home, a mid wife was present there maybe he just dozed off for sometime. For instance when my mother had me, my father was outside. It took like 6 or 7hrs until I was born. U can't expect him to stay awake for all the time. He could've dozed off during that time. And my mom didn't have a problem with that, she understood it naturally. In fact every birth in my family has been like this. The process of birth takes hours and the men will be present outside. Once the baby is born a nurse or a midwife will bring it outside, will give it to them and then take it back. And then after a few mor e hrs only will the men be allowed inside permanently. In fact people other faiths also do this in my country. Maybe this is a western problem, not a muslim one. But if he didn't care about his wife, Allah will punish him for certain in this life or in the here after.
This is why marriage scares me. Growing up with a father who wouldn’t even clean up after himself, let alone do housework (bear in mind both my parents worked full time), I really thought that was the mindset of the older generation. I’ll stay single forever thanks.
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam. It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house - If anyone has a problem with this go learn and study your religion instead of speaking from feminism and your desires. If a man has a good wife that fulfils his rights, by default he will be more inclined to help her, though it is not his responsibility. So if you want a man to help you out of love, then fulfil these mandatory rights like being obedient to him, etc.
@@shadowstorm5261 I don't think anyone said otherwise. I'm a wife of 26 years and have 4 grown children. My husband is amazing works hard and we run our business together, and I work with him just as hard as he does, I do it to help my husband as he has no family here. I still am a wife and mother though and still run the house hold. My husband is the leader and I do the cooking and cleaning aswell, he treats me like a queen, because he appreciates it. I don't have to help him! I do! Because he is my husband and father of my children. He wants a coffee, I make it! As I expect my husband to protect us! It's not an us verses them. Both men and women need to stop this angry your job, his job stuff. We do everything for Allah! We need to be nicer. Man and woman should complement each other. That's why we were created differently. I pray Allah swt keeps us away from the fitnah of this dunya, and keeps us on the straight path. 🤲 May Allah bless you.
Watching this made me internally rage. I do not think I could ever get married because I have next to no respect for men at all anymore. They actually disgust me as a woman and I think I might be single forever because of it. I can work and provide for myself and maintain a house on my own without waiting on anyone. I am so tired of toxic masculinity and catering to men's ego's and pride that I want nothing to do with them.
I had to stop watching. It was just the men complaining and the women sitting there not being heard. This disgusts me and gives me a bad impression of Islam or at least the men in it. Im actually so repulsed.
What I can say is how muslim people behave is not always how Islam teaches us and we are all humans and its perfectly normal for us sometimes to go astray hopefully we will find the right way In islam men and women are different and hence the difference in responsibilities Allah knows best so I believe in Allah's assignment in responsibilities
I understand why Shakeel stayed quiet the whole time and said he feels like none of this is conversation is applicable to him. That’s because a man who is of high value who thinks of his wife as a person he genuinely loves and respects (not a literal maid, as one of them said) can not even imagine having these kind of lowly discussions about her. The 2 with the most angry things to say both have the most trouble with women - it figures. Please bring men with happy family lives only into a discussion like this.
his entire point was she should be cleaning and cooking and he shouldnt have to have a debate with her when hes doing his part and you completely missed the point lmfao you're just dumb he agrees with the other 2 on everything, you just let ur feelings control you. they havent said a single thing Shakeel didn't agree with, in fact, he was always joking with them and nodding at their points lol
I thought the brothers were saying nothing wrong, its there thoughts. I think our sisters appreciate the men their lives, we too quickly think evil and bad of them rather then make excuses for them, at times we are very petty and drag a issue too long
I work and also help my wife with the house chores. Specifically, the 2 toilets in our house and all the other parts of the house, vacuum/mop the floors etc. My wife helps with the laundry and cooking. She serve me drinks and food when I came home from work and when we have lunch and dinner. I am lucky to have my wife and of course she is lucky to have me as well! :)
you are a decent and good man. My dad is same way as you. may Allah guide others to not be so selfish and transactional with their partners regardless of man or wife.
I've been married for 6 years now and i always help my wife with chores. This is sunnah btw. I married her because i love her not because i wanted someone to clean my house. I would have stayed single and gotten a maid in that case. To each his own i guess.
As a single woman this video makes me cry, I'm already traumatize all my life serving the man in the house including my dad, brothers and uncles, to the point they could never know how to do the dishes. And when all of these man failed at work all the burden of providing for the house all end up to the woman, and I feel terified by these notion that a woman value is being a maid in the house with no voice what so ever 😢
@@abdullahnizar6784 some houses do make the women cook and clean and take care of them while they just sleep but i feel like taking caring of your father isn't a bad thing but your uncle you can do few things once in a while but unless your brother has a broken bone he should get up and help around
"Happy marriage leads to a happy life. Husband and wife are like hands and fingers; they work together as a team, helping each other in all aspects of life." 💯💯
I grew up watching my mom do mostly everything around the house because my dad is all day at work, but still, my dad used to make them both breakfast if he wakes up before her, if he see's that she needs help with him around he would get up and help, and he did all the physical stuff around the house (pipes, electricity or whatever), i wish i could get half the happiness they have and imma be fine, also i think most importantly they never slacked in helping eachother or complained, also mom never asked him to do any cleaning or cooking EVER.
@teaspoon Mashallah bless your beautiful parents and may Allah give them shifa and long life. Marriage is about being caring loving supporting and protecting each other. thank you for shearing your amizing family story.
Maashallah that is beautiful. We have hadith of the prophet muhammad peace be upon him would work around the house and help out in household. Why is it so difficult for men to understand?
As a very traditional wife/mother who contributes financially to the family (for extra things that would be considered luxuries) AND happily manages the entire household by herself, these male guests disgust me. It’s not what they’re saying it’s their attitude and manner, with such lack of Adab especially in front of females. I will go above and beyond for my husband because I RESPECT him. If you want a woman to treat you like a king, start with respect. If a woman doesn’t respect a man she will never be happy to serve him.
For context I’m Australian so I don’t know any of these people aside from br Ali (whos mannerisms I respect) and I hope this is not a representation of men in the uk.
@Zeedan of course as soon as a sister don't agree with the nonsense she is called feminist or being emotional, plz we can control our emotion don't treat us like idiots 🙄 Apart from Ali dawah yes i agree with the sis these men are disgusting, their message their attitude literally everything, they think they are better, they think they are smarter and somehow with the perfect reaseaning, no that's not how msridage works, no wonder why Mahdi tidjani got divorced 2 times and have restricted orders done against him and his kids, the way he talk says it all and the others laughing like it's a comedy show it's even more pathetic and childish, can't even talk like mature adults men, can't deliver an idea without actually making fun , just a horrible episode
@@bintermanno idk anything about mahdi, but whatever those guys said wasn't disrespectful or disgusting. What they said was as men we will help our wives willingly, but we must not be expected to do so. Rather we do it because we want our spouse to be at ease, get comfortable and be loved. There are a lot of issues that men face, such as the brother who's afraid to get married but those issues are not being addressed properly. This will cause a lot of men to go to other places, it's only happening in the west to all the people who reside there, not just muslims. Eventually all the women there at the panel agreed, so do u have problem with them too?
@Zeedan the WAY you say things matters a lot. Things can be taken out of context easily and in Islam we have to be careful with our tongues. Yet here you are being harsh and generalising women. Islam teaches us to be careful what comes out of our mouth. The sister is correct in her point and you’re getting emotional over what she’s said
This is extremely heartbreaking 💔 why is it so hard for the man to help the woman out? It baffles me. We both work...I work 50 hours a week, cook, clean and handle all duties while he sits around doing no household chores. I'm exhausted and he still doesn't care when I shut down. I'm completely unattracted to him because of his laziness
My dear brother Ali, my sincere advice to you, may Allah bless you, is that please don’t bring people on these platforms that could be a harm to the people by giving their own opinions which is nothing based on islam. Many youths might be listening to these shows, please only bring people of sound knowledge, learned men who have spent their lives studying these things, not any person who has a platform on social media. It could do more harm than good and you would also be held accountable. Also another advice is that I think the people here (mainly brothers) should speak a bit more respectfully and a bit more formally rather than speaking a lot of slang. Nothing wrong with slang, just not on these platforms. Let’s set a good example and standard, especially for our youth. Barakallahu feekum.
Watching this made my blood boil, its really sad to think his wife gave birth alone instead of being by her side supporting her. I hope these young men soon realise how wrong they are!
That so sick 😮 ! His wife was in labour pain and he didn’t come to room to hold her hand?? I’m polish my husband it’s Pakistani born (Jhelum city) When I go to hospital for to delivery room he was there holding my hand,pass megas (air oxygen to reduce my labour pain and even cut umbilical cord (of course my midwife ask him if he like to do so) 😊 with our second child unlucky he can’t be in delivery room he was working in another city so boss won’t let him close outside stall to come to me because there was no other worker available and driving motorway take another 40,45 minutes to reach our city but his sisters was there he was calling asking if I’m fine if baby is fine, our third baby born 6 years later even we fight ,disagree about lots of things I remember he asked me if I like he come to delivery room week before labour day I said yes but we fight few fays later and in angryness I told him to no come to delivery room even after this hurtful words he hear from me he still make to come over hold my hand in hospital during labour support me and sleep on chair till morning even we are from 2 different country’s he still try to make it right way and yes that right some Pakistani man don’t to house chores my husband working all day he no pick up his plate after finishing food he no do washing by him self and he won’t do hoover around house either 🤷🏻♀️ I’m at home all day what other work I have to do than hoovering cooking washing look after kids ?? He helping from time to time with our boys shower’s or make them sleep it’s still better than man who sit after work and just wait doing nothing because no all European boys are helping either and them wifes partners need to go work 1 person can’t manage all these needs unless he is well educated and have good paid job specially in UK so all this things depends on man character and how his mother or both parents taught him if he wasn’t taught this things as kid or teenager how can aspects he will do those things as adult 🤷🏻♀️
Is it an Islamic obligation or something? In my community men aren’t even allowed around when women are giving birth. The mothers and midwives take care of that. Her Mom and my Mom are much more empathetic to her situation than me.
“Just do the damn dishes?” - Is this how this brother talks to his wife or any human for that matter? I'm embarrassed for him - Did his parents not teach him how to talk to people or any manners? Clearly not. Also, I get that everybody has their own personal preference as to whether they should be there at their child's birth but it's actually sad listening to these brothers' responses. It just goes to show they haven't matured yet know matter how many kids they have. Wallah, this makes me so grateful for my husband. May Allah swt preserve him.
@@ijustwannacommentnotmyreal9814 Sister, none of us are perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect spouse or marriage. Pray tahajjud and make dua to Allah. These men are the perfect example of what you should not be looking for in a spouse.
@@ijustwannacommentnotmyreal9814 other than prayers and basic ibaadah, I think someone who's kindness and honesty stands out is really important for me
@@Unknown-mi9xd nope i don't wear tight trousers nor jeans, a traditional shalwar that covers my ankles, poor attempt at throwing blame at someone else
I think the Muslim youth are going woke on the obligations in marriage. It’s not black and white, it’s about having empathy for each other and helping each other.
It's muslim women who started the gender war of rights and obligations. It all started with women saying they're not obliged to cook and clean. Now men are also saying we're not obliged to do this and that.
And regarding this matter, I want to say that: Do you knon what else the majority of scholars said aside from the wife not being obliged to cook and clean. They said: 1- The husband isn't obliged to pay for her medical treatment, doctor's fee and her medicine. 2- The husband isn't obliged to answer his wife's invitation to bed. The wife only has right to intimacy once and only once every 4 months. 3- The wife is only entitled to two garments of clothing each year. 4- The husband isn't obliged to oay for his wife's funeral preparations.
When you are doing anything good for the sake of Allah, you never lose. No matter the gender or what the “chore” is. Help for the sake of Allah, do things for the sake of Allah and at the end of the day you’re the one who’s winning.
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam. It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house - If anyone has a problem with this go learn and study your religion instead of speaking from feminism and your desires. If a man has a good wife that fulfils his rights, by default he will be more inclined to help her, though it is not his responsibility. So if you want a man to help you out of love, then fulfil these mandatory rights like being obedient to him, etc.
My grandmother widowed young and my dad, 4 uncles and 3 brothers all are comfortable and happy to do housework, cook even when they worked and my nephew has been taught the same. My husband wasn't allowed to lift a finger before we got married as his mum said it was shameful for her sons to do housework. Alhumdulillah he had my dad as the role model, and when I became ill the first time, he stepped up. He cooks, cleans, hoovers and does it all and never complains, he's extremely proud of it too. He helps me change bed sheets as well and has never complained, Ma'sha'Allah tabarakallah. We both work full time and live in our house, we know our responsibilities and are fluid with whats needed where. It beggers belief there's ppl who don't think men shouldn't do housework when it's a beautiful sunnah of our Prophet PBUH. 16 years going strong Alhumdulillah because we don't care for ppls opinions if it's in the quran or sunnah their voices are muted for us.
As a british muslim man, i think this content can do more harm than good to the youth, as adults we kinda know how things go, marriage aint easy for sure, but you have quotes like "lucky i was broke then" when a guy is getting divorced twice, with no context on what or how his marriage ended up, what message does this send to the youth? Be broke just incase it doesnt work out? Man are talking about wife(s) when as a nation we cant even fulfill the rights of one, we need to focus on the real topics here, cleaning our hearts and being good believers And belittling nations based on a stigma is wrong, and creates disunity, not a moroccan but think that was a bit harsh, go there, spend time there, their women aren't waiting for men, the men there are real men. Agree with a lot of the points on rights of husbands, working, providing, but we also attach this roadman approach, if this is a dawah page and a none muslim stumbles across this, theyre gonna think wow, these lot dont know whats going on, but also could think that okay we are similar. But still, unity is important.
I live in Morocco and I'm here to say, Moroccan people aren't waiting for a WesternMuslim to save them by marrying them. In fact, most cases the ones I've met or know of that married someone from the west doesn't practice outwardly. So basically, they want the total Western lifestyle.
Subhan’Allah- it’s nice to come across a brother with similar thinking. I’ve been saying this for a long time to a few lads of mine that want 2nd wives, when there isn’t even stability with their first one. I think this desire is an illness. Living in the west and with how finances and the environment works here, multiple marriages is extremely difficult - but this desire isn’t being pursued for the correct reasons. Men that want 2nd wives are doing it completely from a sexual and shallow perspective, which shows they are still eyeing women and haven’t matured in their purpose here. One who is living for his purpose knowing that life is temporary is not going to be fixated upon sexualising pretty vessels, this is a sickness and stems from ignorance of purpose. But I mean being ‘in the west’ and living amongst kuffar, it’s hardly a surprise. Women wanting complete freedom and similar to men lifestyles in that they want to dress how they want, go where they want, are arrogant and are pursuing careers - don’t marry such women. It’s as simple as that. There’s no point complaining about such women as they have to learn the hard way, once they’re older and realise why no decent man wants to marry them, they can either change or fall further into their illusions. But men really need to think larger than just their private parts. I think the largest problem today is arrogance, ego and ignorance. People are very uneducated about Islam and are full of ego and arrogance, and that really isn’t helping the state in the West. I know of practicing people that inhibit such bizarre levels of ego and arrogance, it’s really quite ironic.
Thankyou for your comment. This is a disease of the heart these days. The way these men are speaking to these women also is so disrespectful as if every woman is Now a "man hating feminist".. This is not the case! They are muslim sisters! They should have some respect and lower their gaze and stop show boating and talking complete waffle! There is too much disrespect from Mahdi and Ali and the other bald headed road man directed at these sisters and they have no right to speak to them in the way they are!! It is appalling to watch. Mahdi brags about the low down way he treats his wives.
the ummah has left its scholars and now the uneducated, uncultured Islamically, have taken over. Always learn Islam from those who have a high level of knowledge and good character, May Allah guide us to his pleasure.
Brothers should make decisions based on the Qur'an and Sunnah not their own feelings and opinions. Also, it's not just about financial aspect, but also the emotional and spiritual aspect that needs to be taken care of.
I am surprised the amount of views and jokes based on their opinions and feelings are so misleading. what they were uttering was far away from our propher teaching.
I enjoy helping my fiancée around the house because she does so much for me that it leaves me wanting to find ways to reciprocate and make her life easier the way she does for me and if all it takes is 20-30 minutes of cleaning the kitchen after dinner and hanging up some laundry that’s a cheap price to pay to keep the positive cycle going.
Bringing a child into this world is straddling the line between life and death - for both the woman and the baby. It is the greatest miracle one can see in life and it is also immeasurably painful and traumatizing. Any man who loves his wife would know this is THE moment she needs him most. I don’t care if women midwives are better able to know what they’re doing, yes of course, they’re the professionals - but my husband is my rock and I need him there beside me to share this moment. Ali, you did good by being with your wife, don’t let these fools make u feel anythin else
All men should strive to emulate the Prophet PBUH and follow his sunnah. Did the prophet do this when he had his children? This notion of husbands being present during childbirth is a very recent western concept. It's highly likely none of our ancestors did this nor did their women demand this practice. This practice became common due to the destruction of joint families in the west. I get that u want your husband to be there, but u know sometimes some men do not want that or they're squeamish about blood. Doesn't mean that they don't love or care for u.
@@Aamirmhmd99 the Prophet pbuh also did not drive cars, does that mean we shouldn’t drive cars? Please leave that argument to religious matters not something as simple as being a hospital room.
@@alaweeezy What is a car? It's a form of wheeled transportation. Before cars people travelled on animals and animal driven chariots, caravans, carts etc. The predecessor of cars are animal driven transport. These kind of questions are not very bright. The Prophet's sunnah is there to followed to your best of abilities. When it comes to matters of major importance like marriage, family, justice, war etc we must follow what the prophet did and said.
To hear that brother say he would just replace his wife with a maid really shows me how men really just view us as disposable maids...really discourages me from seeking marriage..so disappointing
@@sarahj-hc5uc I guarantee that most jokes dont have much truth in them and Mahdi (the guy who made the joke) knows a enough about Islam to know how to respect women furthermore your first comment only refers to some men so you cant say "shows me how men really just view us" because most actual men would never view their woman like that.
I fully understand where you’re coming from. But i have to say not all men are like that. This video made me be soooo thankful for my husband. He ensures to provide by working 2 jobs, has created me a comfortable lifestyle. I clean and cook. If i’m falling behind he comes and helps me out. Amazing men do exist! Don’t let certain guy’s comment discourage you to build your beautiful family. Edit: spelling
Reading the comments I have, it is great to see people recognise that marriage is a partnership, a collaboration. We are micro-managing here and most of what's being said sounds very tit for tat -- e.g. if I work, you do 100% of the house work or I will only contribute towards the house IF you do this...what is this? Where there is mutual respect and compassion?? you'll, without any complaint, will contribute for the sake of your partners relief. The best way to judge someone is how they behave when you can't benefit them in any way.
So many of these men view marriage as: Marry Have a wife to be intimate with Have many children Food served & clean house Financial control Wife is a housedecor/robot whos only there for your needs or to raise your children Like women are only there to please you and dont have a life, feelings and friends. And putting mehdi in this podcast is absolutely disguisting as someone who has admitted to abusing both of his wives and can’t see his eldest child because he abused the child too. Is this someone we want men to listen to and take advice from?
@@Melakii_1you are just strawmanning Muslim men because they expect the wife to do majority of the household chores, no normal person is calling the wife a robot maid.
Most divorced women I have spoken to have told me the main reason their marriage ended was because they were doing everything while their husbands did nothing. They were fed up of being treated like a maid
@@hursheragamreddy3148 we can all have a 9 to 5 job. As a matter fact a lof of sister have that and are living their best life. After work the sister help their mother and do houschores wit ease. So after his 9 till 5 he could help his wife when needed. Especially when she is pregnant, sick or tired. If you can't expect help from your partner, why would you even get married and have children. It takes a village to raise children, in the west every houshold is seperate/individualistic. Is not the same as back home. There is no support from family, the don't live closeby. That's why a good partner/husband is crucial.
If a wife does not work outside home, she can do most of the house work. The problem is when kids are very young (0 to 10 years old), they need constant attention. This is the most difficult part of being a house wife not cooking, cleaning, etc. Fathers definitely need to have more share in child raring. My father when he came home at the end of a work day, work was over for him. He just sat in front of the TV reading his news papers. He never cared to talk to us. As a result, I have a very week bond with my father. I respect him. I can't really say I love him because we have no personal relationship. He took good care of us. He spent for us. He worked for us. He never cheated my mom. He never disgraced the family in any way. But that was not enough. Dear fathers, if you will do one thing at home, be it talking to your kids and spending time with them. Your wives work around the clock, you too just do the same thing. When you come home, spend time with your kids. This will take a lot of burden from the shoulder of your wife. It will definitely be counted as a contribution towards housework and you will also be bonded to your child.
@Wrestling • Judo MS you didn’t understand. In order to build respectable homes with children who are fully capable and understanding of their positions and their responsibilities in society and their Deen, fathers NEED to have a relationship with their children. They need to bond with them and model the behaviors they want their children to have. Otherwise they are only providing the financial and not the social.
Gender roles are clear. What we forget in these kind of debates is we talk about rights and obligations. As a Muslim we should push for Ehsaan. Because that's the next level. If a husband willingly helps around the house may Allah accept him going out of his way to make his family comfortable. Similarly if a wife can help ease husband's financial burden then she should do it if she can. This is the attitude of a Mohsin. We should aspire to be that rather than doing the bare minimum in rights and obligations.
"We should aspire to be that rather than doing the bare minimum in rights and obligations." Love you for this. You are entirely right. At the end of the day we are faulty humans who have bad and good days. We always should pick each other up, moreso in a marriage.
I 100% agree with the fact that there are gender roles. But let’s not compare the wife contributing financially with the husband helping with cooking/cleaning/other chores. A husband islamically should help around in his free time if both the wife and husband have had a lot to do that day. However there is no encouraging in any shape or form that the wife should help her husband financially if she has a reasonable income. IF she chooses to do so however may Allah bless her. The difference here is that one is encouraged and one is not necessarily encouraged.
@Tayyaba12345 I think you’re the only one with brains. The western norms have rubbed off too much on these Muslims, you can see it in their foreign Aqeedah and lack of authentic Islam in their Adhab. These are the same people wanting to discuss ‘modern Islamic’ issues but watch hours and hours of Netflix or scrolling through social media while knowing how much poison it is for their hearts, minds and souls - which reflects massively in these attitudes they have cultivated. 2 people living for the sake of their Purpose of pleasing Allah and cultivating peace aren’t going to be demanding unrealistic western kuffar expectations in a union or marriage that was done for ‘the sake of Allah.’ Let’s be real, most people DONT get married for the genuine purpose of getting closer to Allah. Let’s not beat around the bush, most modern western Muslims can’t wait to start having sex and have a fairy tale illusion based on Netflix and social media on what marriage is truly about. Every friend of mine that got married truly for the sake of settling in their purpose is happily married today. Any person that married for sex, looks or on the whim of ‘I just wanna be married’ have ended in biter divorces.
That is more realistic and practical...scholars give laws and rules and ideal situations. But these young people talk in practical sense and daily cases, and what they feel. They dont give fatwaa but talk what is on people's mind in reality. That helps ppl form an opinion. Whoever is a good Muslim, will remain within shariah.
@@abyzayd2020 well in that case you should take advice from people who have had a successful marriage at least not the ones who failed because of their sheer ignorance. Besides, what makes you think scholars have no practical experience?, in fact they have more since they usually advice and meet a lot of people with different backgrounds, situations and problems, and most of the time scholars are married as well. You sound desperate bro.
@@primeminister1040 why do u make it personal? I sound desparate? How do u know that? Dont use ur emotions. Nobody said, dont ask scholars or their opinions dont count. Why cant we have conversations among each other and should always be with a scholar? As I said before, scholars talk formal language and formal cases and general advices. Young ppl exchanges their experiences and feelings feels more natural and ppl get connected easier. Not every conversation should be about fatwaa and rules. Besides, if u only invited successful ppl, then it will give a wrong image of the reality. Nice ppl talking nice things and give advices that will not work for many others. It is a matter of personality and difference in character.
Guys trust me i swear, helping your Wife, Sister or your mother in the kitchen or anything, dont be ashamed to help them, just asking if they need help or trying to help them, makes them Respect you even more, Help your wife, Sister or mother guys there is nothing to be ashamed of.
As a rule I think there should be a student of knowledge to clarify issues and things regarding Islamic law and rulings etc. Because without quran and sunnah its just withering ideas and opinions.
Brother Ali I had so much respect for you and your dawah but I’m disappointed you gave a person like mahdi a platform to speak on these topics when he holds an abusive and misogynistic record. May Allah guide us all to the straight path Ameen
keep on hating, lol, what mysoginistic points did mahdi make? so its offensive when mahdi claims to not do the dishes , even after working 40 hrs a week but somehow its empowering when a woman neglects her household duties. wow , trash like you are the reason why men get bashed whenever they have an opinion, and get slammed as mysoginists whenever they raise their voice.
How is bringing home a salary equivalent to a woman giving up part of her beauty and putting her health and life at risk to birth your kids, breastfeed them, cook, clean raise them, take care of herself and still offer herself to you? 💀 And since when has marriage become a competition of who does more or less??
You men were BORN from the suffering pain and blood of a woman, so how dare you ever disrespect any female in your life? Where's your humility & gratitude? God commands men to be responsible for all wife's expenses. She is allowed to work & keep all her money herself. Why? If you had to go outside services to pay for sex, pay for pregnancy, pay for breastfeeding your child, pay for cooking, pay for cleaning ... all that adds up to more than your salary if you had to pay an outsider for this. Your wife does all this for FREE, yet you're ungrateful to her?? You can't repay your mother or your wife for all the good she has done for you. The best men are those who are best to their mother, sister, wife, and daughter.
i am born from my father. My mother only received me. thats just the truth not being mean but this is it. my father is the closest to me wheter its physicaly or mentally. not my mother
When i gave birth to my 5th Child, my Husband may Allah reward him, he did everything, watch after the older Kids, clean , i just cooked and afterwards he did the dishes, we dont have any family near us, so there was no other way. Normaly i would never want my working husband to do house chores.
Allahumma barik. It's great that your husband helps you out of his own will. May Allah reward him. But it gets problematic when the feminists who believe they got ZERO responsibility for anything, turn it into an obligation on husband's part by misquoting hadiths out of context. This is a violation of the rights given by Allah.
Well done for not wanting your husband to do house chores. You are in your feminine and you will succeed in thjs manner. Husband and wife should stick to their biological natural roles.
Me and my wife do the same. Whenever she gives birth I have to step up and take care of my family and that includes washing dishes, cooking, vacuuming and taking my older kids to bed.
@@JH-lf4ql yes it is exactly that and my wife loves my masculinity and I love her femininity. And my other wives will be the same insha'Allah no bs feminism just feminine
The most sad thing I came across the internet was a young Muslim man calling a sheikh a simp because he said the truth about how Islam told us to relate with our wife. And Muslim young boys accepting when a man cheats it’s not cheating and a woman cheats is cheating 😭no wonder the prophet cried for this ummah. Love each other with no limit respect ur spouse do what makes each other happy❤️😭am saying this Wallahi while crying because the things happening is scary Wallahi😭😭
My father works 44 hrs a week and he still cooks, cleans , do laundry and tutor my siblings and I. He doesn't complain at all. He taught us how to clean in certain way and what ingredients to use for cooking. At the same time make sure we did not fail at school.
Sister with all due respect what does your mother do the if your father Handles everything, sit an look pretty. Allah has set the roles what your father is doing is asinine to me. Please educate me if you believe otherwise.
@Mirror she does everything around the house and taking care, managing the household. She took care of my sibling and I. She doesn't like anyone to disturb her while cooking or cleaning that's when my dad help. And she's working too.
@@Biekoea husband and wife can have teamwork by doing their rightful duties. They don’t have to do the same duties as one another. The man should go out to work and the women should stay home taking care of the house. The women should not have expectations of her husband helping her with the housework. But if the man wants to help then that’s his choice. In regards to raising children it’s both of their duty.
It's really simple, when husbands and wives destroy the 'I' in the household/marriage then you'll no longer act on self-interest but for each other. The individualist mindset destroys any relationship.
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam. It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house
That does not pay the bill and put food on the table, nor does it provide security and stability for the whole family. And if you can't do that much nowadays, regardless of how much you love, trust and understand each other, as man you can't keep a wife in the long run. Same goes for women if you don't cook, clean, look after kids and willingly submit you won't keep a husband in the long run unless he is a simp or a cuck. In fact, everything you said in your comment is true but that is not enough to make a relationship work in reality.
@@mk-ld8ih this might be true. but it doesnt mean the man has to be a pig and have the wife go after his every step cleaning after him. Most house-wives gladly do the necessary chores on their own perfectly but when the man doesn't respect his partner by continuing to make her job harder again and again he is still violating the factors for the successful marriage like the og comment said. She married a Man not a Child. it will be the same as the woman taking and spending the "living expenses" on her own and making the husband's job harder, worsening his mood and not showing any respect towards him.
A good marriage is hard work. But striving for mutual respect and understanding, caring for each other, and working together through life’s joys and difficulties are all important parts of a successful partnership. collected 👏👏👏
Marriage is not a partnership, it is a exchange of values. She exchanges the right to her body and servitude in exchange for your promise of taking care of her financial educational psychological needs for now and the future. Partnership implies a equalitarin Liberal anything goes relationship which always leads in divorce because everyone is lost.
Marriage is not a partnership. Partnership is when you are equal partner. Men and women are not equal partner in Islam. Husband is the head of the house, he provides and protects. The wife obeys. We have this term "marriage is a partnership and understand and mutual respect" only in comment sections where men speak on their rights from their wives.
These men are a shining example of why it is important for women to join the workforce - to call men out on their bullshit when they make it seem like their work is a lot harder than taking care of a home or that they're doing something women can't. Also, her money is her money. There needs to be an acknowledgement that if she is contributing to the household, thats a charity on her part.
@@hursheragamreddy3148 not necessarily. Every couple should do what makes sense for them. Islam is not 50/50. I just don’t appreciate when men over-exaggerate how tough their jobs are because unless they’re in the military or doing something that requires physical strength a woman could easily do it too
@@taheera986 maybe that's the rason why these men don't want to help is household.They might have a feeling that they should anyways pay the bills and she doesn't need to so why should they help in household
@@hursheragamreddy3148 Maintaining their womenfolk is a direct command from Allah SWT to men. That's why the husband gets the authority and leadership of a household. Of course if only the husband is working, it wouldn't be fair for him to come home and do all the chores as well. But, if both men and women are working because of their economic situation or because that's what they want, they should share the chores so that it's fair. Also, women are entitled to develop themselves through their careers if they wish, as long as it doesn't interfere with their obligations. I think they should because a) women's contribution to society is equal to men's and b) it would force the men to level up too since they have to show leadership in other ways than just being the breadwinner.
Love and compassion comes after the basics. The basics are step 1 to stick to your natural biological disposition of husband and wife natural roles. Everyone knows what they are. Get in touch with your nature and stop following what people tell u to do. Men are leaders and women are submissive. Anything else leads in disaster for both.
@@BruvahSulaiman its literally a sunnah to help wife with household chores. Meaning both parties do it. I dont understand why theres even a debate about it.
@@moronweakes1520because they arent talking about sunnah, nor is anyone denying that helping your wife or any other human can earn good deeds. I would love to explain to you but you seem to have totally lost the message of this video.
Married for 15 yrs, stay at home mom and deals with housework,cooking, kids,school and shopping. My husband works 7 days a week and I’m usually exhausted when he comes home. He’s exhausted as well but it helps so much when my husband does help like dealing with the kids at least. It helps when both are happy with each other and understand when we are exhausted, its teamwork and we shouldn’t be thinking oh I do this you suppose to do this it’s more being there for each other. I don’t expect my husband to clean and do things but it is nice when he takes his dish to the sink and make his coffee in the morning even tho I still do that, but sometimes woman have their days when it’s been so exhausting.
The wife or the baby could die during labor. Unless you are at war there is no reason to not be in the same building at minimum while she is giving birth. If you are far away you should be on your way to whatever location she is giving birth. My opinion.
@@Almay20 As a man who is very traditional, this point of his is completely ridiculous, I will definitely be there when my wife is giving birth to our baby, she needs her husband to be there with her no doubt.
@@Almay20 Temporary marriages are literally haram by consensus, don't ever be fooled by some brothers who may seem religious on the outside who try to use you like this, may Allah protect us and our women.
As a Muslim man with an licensed Architect Muslim wife... you can be sure I'm doing the dishes!! Working moms are the hardest working people on the planet!
@@vortexlight8387 he’s extremely immature and not ready for an adult conversation like this. He repeatedly talks about his wife like she’s his opposition rather than a life partner, he treats marriage like he’s collecting tokens rather than supporting human beings, he’s been giggling with the purple too guy most of the talk and seems to be completely incapable of cleaning up after himself. He thinks child birth is disgusting and he has gone back to sleep after his wife went into labour. The list goes on. This is the definition of a manchild.
If you want to have a beautiful peaceful joyful marriage life so both of them should help each other in every step of life ! Wife isn’t a maid and husband isn’t a slave ! Both of them should do their best to make a beautiful relationship by help and mercy of Allah SWT !
Lol na if mens roles are clear cut then women roles should be clear cut. If a woman can say she is entitled to be provided and protected for, then he is entitled to have an obedient wife who cooks and cleans.
@@souada.1196 So is a man a slave for going out there working hard and fulfilling his Islamic duties? Is he a human shield when he has to put his life on the line to save her? Typical brainwashed feminist.
Nowadays, there's a dishwasher, robot vacuum cleaner, and washing machine. Why would they discuss it? I'm married for 20 years, and my husband didn't cook for us even once. But he invites me out to the restaurant twice a week. It's all agreement between two.
No, as a muslim woman, men do not have to cook and clean. Naturally men may volunteer to do it, if you are someone who does not look lazy and does not delegate responsibility and respectful. More you do for someone, the more the other wants to do for you. My husband pushes me aside to do dishes and snatches hoover from my hand because I very good to him, let him lead and respectful and dutiful alhamdullah, I go the extra mile, make biryanis, niharis, go help his sisters and his cousins in paperwork and show his family respect, I live within his budget and try not cuss him from of the children and I am quick to say sorry and thank him little things alhamdullah. We cannot behave like boss babes...and expect respect and love back
As a Christian I love how Muslims are still traditional. In truth, most Christians are starving for the lifestyle of our ancestors, we just don’t always know how to achieve it in the modern world.
The problem is secularism; when you remove God's laws from societies then men have to make up their own laws. And what ever laws men make will be unbalanced.
It’s EASY to achieve that in the modern world - just accept Islam and become a Muslim! Islam is the natural progression to Christianity because the message is from The Same One God. Christian scholars of the past changed and tainted the original message that God sent through Jesus Christ (PBUH) and so the essence was lost. This is why God sent down the Qur’an in the form of recitations so that the original message of Jesus (PBUH) can be carried on through Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). The Qur’an today is the same exact Qur’an that was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and not a single letter has been changed. In the Qur’an it says that generations after Jesus (PBUH) changed the message Allah SWT sent to Jesus (PBUH) but the message He sends to Muhammad (PBUH) will never be changed and God, Himself, will protect and preserve it! Today, over 1,445 years later, the message is EXACTLY as it was sent down through The Angel Gabriel (PBUH) to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). This is one of many miracles of the Qur’an. Become a Muslim and follow Jesus (PBUH) the way Jesus (PBUH) wanted his followers to follow him. May Allah SWT open your eyes to the truth and guide you! Ameen. ❤
I visited shiekh Abdul Quyum Imam of The East London Mosque. I knocked on his door. He opened the door while holding a hoover on his hands. He was hoovering. Muhammad (PBUH) would take on chores in his house according to various scholars. Husband and wife should pray together. The Prophet (PBUH) said: “The best people from among you are those who are best to their wives.” (At-Tirmidhi)
@balakliya oblast She takes care of the children, raises them well with education and manners, protects the wealth, and also provides physical and mental support to her husband.
@balakliya oblast Aisha, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), was asked, “What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family (كَانَ يَكُونُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ) and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari) The word used in the hadith is mihnah (مِهْنَة), which is translated as ‘busy serving’ here, also means in the Arabic language ‘work’, ‘job’, ‘profession’, etc. This implies helping your wife in the house is a full time job as well. Whether it’s helping wash the dishes, cooking, cleaning, raising the kids, etc., is all part and parcel of being the ‘man’ of the house. The notion that it is somehow degrading for men to help and work with the wife around the house is foreign to Islam.
@balakliya oblast In another report Aisha is reported to have said, “He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.” (Adab Al-Mufrad graded sahih by Al-Albani) In yet another report it is said that she said, “He milked his goat.” (Ahmad)
But prophet also say majority of hell dewelers are women and they are ungrateful to their husband and also prophet say women in minority in heaven and Allah say in surah AN NISAH AYAH 4:32 beat women if they dont obey you i've send you hadiths and verses. Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you." Imran b. Husain reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: Amongst the inmates of Paradise the women would form a minority. (4:34) Men are the protec-tors and maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them excel over the other,57 and because they spend out of their possessions (to support them). Thus righteous women are obedient and guard the rights of men in their absence under Allah's protection.58 As for women of whom you fear rebellion, admonish them, and remain apart from them in beds, and beat them.59 Then if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them. Allah is Exalted, Great.
As chef for 30 years who loves to cook I have also teach my wife how to cook when she didn’t know, also when she was pregnant with my kids I did all the cooking, shopping, school which made her life much easier, I’m sorry but these guys are using 1800 methods to justify their toxic behaviour by treating their wife’s like a second class citizen smh
I am not married but i have seen my friend's husband, how he helps her wife, how he cares for her children after coming back from a 12 hours' job, how he cares for her parents.. (MashAllah MashAllah.. May Allah protect their relation from evil eyes). He even do massage of her foot to alleviate her tiredness before going on bed, also change nappies of her babbies.In return, my friend cooks delicious foods for him, cares for his father, regularly visits his close relatives in a weak, also try to manage all the works of home that should be done by man like renovation of home, Buying some daily-used food products (Because of hectic routine of her husband) ... So guys i want to say that it is a very beautiful relation if you put your arrogance aside...Give respect take respect give love take love...
Allahumma barak lahum. May Allah protect your friend (from unintentional envy from your part). Also, you only see the good parts, no one shares their arguments
@@lipsme1673 What do you mean by unintentional envy??? All the things that i have written here about him have been told by my friend herself.. I am not here to exaggerate the things. Secondly, you said about their arguments then yes they have some differences that i have not mentioned here but they are nothing if you have good understanding and alhumdulillah they are doing well in this regard..🙏..
@@StriveforJannah2 Why are you all girls getting so offended here??🙏🤣... Is it not enough that he goes out and works for whole day so he can give a better life to his Children and her wife...I am nit the one who is admiring him.. His own wife, his sister-in-laws and Mother-in-law all say that he is a wonderful man..Respect it if is so much caring for his family..But you are taking it personally.. 🙏💔...
@@MUHAMMADASLAM-bt7df I agree. You should help your wife if you have time because prophet Muhammed set an example-he washed the plates after eating. My brother in law is very lazy, he'll go to work and return to bed. My sister serves his food in bed, she also cooks for his 2 adult brothers and cares for her kids. But her husband doesn't help, she buys the grocerys from her own money. I believe husbands should help if they have time.
this is extremely wrong... i am a male and is 13 years old(muslim) and think that men should be treating their wives with respect. It does not matter if your wife does not contribute as much, the man should treat her with respect, maybe she is having a hard time, but even if you work for the whole day and come back tired, and your wife has not cleaned for whatever reasons, you should work even harder to make her and your kids happy. exception to if your wife is just using you(astagfiruallah inshallah this never happens to anyone)
@@TheProfessionalThinker wa aleykum assalam, yeah ik, so why is a 13 year olds boy's opinion better than these more experienced men? Also the prophet muhammad SAW took childrens advice as well and even sent a teenager to lead an important mission with an army of 3,000 strong
@@SM-ly5tf I agree with that, but I have confidence in myself and inshallah a high iman, and a powerful brain so I believe I should be able to have an opinion
Been married 8 years, husband and I hope each other all around. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills. A lot of empathy is needed in marriage. It’s def not black and white.
@@zalyworld1904 They are right if wife don't wanna provide anything for family why would a man marry woman just for having sex and making babies ?So don't get mad when anyone says women are baby making machines because that's what most Muslim women now days want to do they don't want to anything else........
These men on here 😮. Ya Allah I am forever grateful for the way my father treated me and my mother and the way my husband continues to treat me from my fathers standards. Both my parents worked, my father lived away for work and came home on weekends and when he came. He helped my mum with chores and looked after us children. My parents are now retired. But it doesn’t mean my dad just sits and does nothing while my mum still does her “duties” my dad helps in the house, he cooks he cleans he does everything my mum does : they work as a team. And allahuma Barik, that’s marriage. Is to be a team. I pray for women who come across and marry men with the views of the young men in the video, in life. May Allah soften their hearts. Ameen
Well they both retired. So they both look after the house. They both worked. Because they both had to financially, they couldn’t live off one salary. But my dad didn’t just come home from work and demand food to be made for him. If my mum cooked, my dad took care of us. Vice versa.
@@lailashesandskin2972 Sure, but the part you're missing is that your mom also worked. If your mom works of course your dad should help around the house. But if your mom didn't work and your dad supported the family financially, it's fair to assume your mom would do all the housework/cooking. Fair?
SubhanaAllah, this is what the ummah has come to. Ignorant men who have strayed away from the Quran and sunnah. This right here brothers and sisters, is why we will continue to see a decline in marriage within our ummah. May Allah guide these brothers and sisters. SubhanaAllah.
This is absolutely disgusting why are they acting like they will be doing us a favor if they marry us i would rather stay single than marry a man with this sick mindset its not about feminism its about marriage is about sharing you cant just expect your wife to do every single thing if she isnt tired you also live in that house which means you should help around without her asking without her being tired and all that its just basic human decency and the dude saying most women want to be “put in their place” like what? This is absolutely sick fix your mindsets please marriage is not about a woman serving you its about sharing and love
It's ok sister, inshallah you won't end up with a mama's boy. Pray to Allah. And tip, if you ever need to dodge one, just ask him what he thinks of that one hadith they discuss here. Also, don't fall for the pseudo-religious type, with the misbaha in hand in public and prayer callouses. Just things that I watch out for
The guys weird. He brags about having many wives yet he’s divorced twice. He’s telling non Muslims women about his No strings attached nikkah contacts ( sex only) He finds desperate women marrys them yet he doesn’t provide for them. Search’s to degrade women constantly guys shady AF
@@piqueny8872 What you have done right now is called backbiting. You are making claims with absolutely zero proof. Do you have proof? When you make a claim, it's on you to provide proof.
Ali, with all due respect im ashamed with some of these viewpoints as men. They're not following what is written. We need actual scholars speaking that can educate the people at home, as well as have these discussions. Especially because it involves marriage UNDER Islam. Men are to treat their women with respect and dignity. I can't really get behind some of what these men are sometimes uttering. They are fools, and do not help anyone.
Bro it is simple, If the husband wants to help, Than that's a sunnah and he will be rewarded for it, If he doesn't he won't be punished because that is not his role
Exactly! This episode has done nothing but scared women of Muslim men. My non-Muslim and Muslim friends were terrified of marriage after hearing some of the most merciless opinions in this episode. It has done nothing but further damage to the image of Islam and Muslims. I hope he removes it before any other non-Muslims can watch it, because it's guaranteed to drive them further away from Islam.
Honestly I'm disappointed in Ali for even bringing them to this and letting them make some the "jokes" and brushing it under the carpet. It makes me feel scared to even get married in the future.
It is sad how women become lazy nowdays. Earlier women work at the field same amount of hours as a men but they still cook, clean and taking care about kids. And they never said they are tired. When I heard women say I am tired, bruv you know fine get rest, rest and sleep whole your life just far away from me.
The prophet pbuh helped his wife's around the house. Iv been married 13 years allhumdiallah. 4 beutifal kids. When I'm not at work I happily help around the house cookin or cleaning. Remember husband n wife is a team! An brings you both closer together when u do things together
I’m on my first and only marriage of 25 years and 4 kids and I do absolutely nothing at home but work outside as much as needed to provide for the household. The personalities we have as individuals dictate this setup and it works perfect for us. Different people may have different setups. See what works for you within the bounds of our deen.
My brothers. Don't treat marriage like a petty back and forth. This removes the incentive to do good by each other. We will all return to Allah and Allah is the Best Judge of our affairs. RasoolAllah S.A.W was a role model and he did house chores. We need to make life easy for each other and be easy going on each other so that we can both help each other enter jannah. So do more than you should, both as a husband and wife, and seek your reward from your Lord.
🎉 Very interesting debate. As a married Muslim man I don't see anything wrong for a man to help his wife at home when she's unwell or going through pregnancy.
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. would also do housework and wash his own clothes without troubling his wives. Even when his patience was tried, he was never unkind in his words or deeds.
@Cooler The Tyrant do you follow the sunna because of how your wife acts or because it is your Deen? You are the husband brother, lead by example and follow the sunna of the messenger S
@Cooler The Tyrant some of the wives did act ungrateful to him, and Allah swt gave him permission to divorce them. The prophet then offered a divorce to the wives who were ungrateful to him, and they rejected the offer divorce
@NajashiTV if you read up on the character, behaviour, and the interactions, of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, then you will get a general idea to what extent he would help his household in its domestic tasks. The Propeht Muhammad was known for being a leading, trustworthy, helpful, charitable, dutiful, proactive, tidy, wellkept, and upstanding man with morals and principles. If he was at home and had spare time, and his home required housekeeping, he would have definitely participated in those housekeeping tasks. To suggest he would have sat back and lazed around whilst his wife was doing the housekeeping duties on her own is dumbfounding. The people of knowledge who have studied the seerah of the Prophet will tell you exactly what I have told you here. The narrative of getting back from work and not lifting a finger to help your family in domestic housekeeping duties is backwards and wrong. As men, our duty to our family is never finished. Working and paying for the general upkeeping of a household is only one part of the duties a man has to his family. We are the leaders of our families and leaders lead and teach by example. May Allah save all women from men who have such a close-minded view of what a man should do to help his family.
If I’m a housewife then I’ll completely do the housework and chores, but I will expect 50/50 with the kids. After cooking if I need to do dishes or anything else I will expect my husband to watch and entertain the kids while I do. Over the weekends same thing. He’ll do the garden, take out the trash and play with the kids while I do the house chores. That’s a partnership and I’ve seen it work for multiple Muslim couples.
100%, most wives don't actually have a problem with household chores or serving her husband.. its usually rooted from him not spending time with their children.. we don't have children to do it by ourselves, we find happiness in seeing our husbands spend time with our children and us alhamdulillah
Honestly I think a woman should always be financially independent to avoid control and abuse from your husband. Marriage should involve teamwork and supporting each other.
Who is the one when everything goes wrong, pulls the family out of that situation.. if we follow Islam, that's all we need to do inshaaAllah we each are different and bring different benefits to eachother in marriage alhamdulillah
You are right, I used to think that it was okay to completely rely on your husband without a backup plan but the reality is no one knows if they will end being in an abuse relationship so having an education is so important even if you want to be a house wife/SAHM
If you want divorce rates of 40% where 90% are initiated by women, and society is culturally corrupted, then please keep on thinking/spreading the idea that society would be better of if more financially independent women would be around. Cause you'll come to find out real fast it has the opposite of a good effect on society and women.
@@Mariam-zv9fy and let me guess you're unmarried and don't have children? Or are you a single parent raising kids? Either is burden to society at large. Especially single (mother) parenthood with all the problems it brings (especially for male children, but also female children).
I'm a woman, I do most of the house chores and the cooking and it doesn't bother me if my husband helps me or not, I do it because I want to and because I love taking care of my family. It shouldn't feel like a chore when you doing it for the well-being of your loved ones.
The brother on the end with the tattoos was very respectful and decisive MashaAllah. He came across as mature and sincere. May Allah give him good in his marital life, Ameen.
My hubby was like this until I collapsed and did 3 days in hospital and all the doctor asked me was rest because I was working and coming home do all, my kids homework and duties as wife to my husband in that 3 days he cried because he didn’t even know where the spoons were and now he’s helping me and tell me to rest when I’m tired by saying honey this is our house and none will tell you to do what to do if the person talk I will tell him/ her to not longer come here. He was sorry for the past 8 years he didn’t help me around the house, these men are cahotic
Husband here: I never do dishes I never cook unless its for fun and enjoyment. My wife does everything in the house. I do nothing but chill at home and earn money outside and fix things in the house .
ASC. Ngl, what I found really frustrating about this video was the fact that this conversation seemed to be built around personal opinions instead of grounding the conversation around what the fiqh of our religion has to say on this matter. While there is a difference of opinion on the topic, the majority of scholars seem to fall on the side of it not being the religious obligation of the wife to do the cooking and cleaning. These are the positions of the 4 Sunni major schools of thought to my knowledge: - The Maliki madhab says it is obligatory on the wife to do the indoor tasks of the household if the custom is that women do these themselves. - The Hanafi madhab says it is the ethical obligation of the wife but not her legal obligation and it is not enforceable if she refuses. - The Shafi’i madhab says it is not an obligation on the wife to serve her husband in cooking, washing, etc. Moreover, Imam Shafi’i considered cooking and cleaning as part of maintenance and therefore considers it the husband’s responsibility to provide. - The Hanbali madhab says it is not compulsory for the wife to clean the house, but it is recommended for her to do such things, because it is part of the custom of people that wives take care of the housework. Obviously, when we discuss the division of responsibility in a marriage a good wife should contribute to her household in whatever way necessary as it is recommended that she do so but that does not make it her religious obligation. Moreover, by doing the cooking and cleaning she will be rewarded for it as an act of charity and a good husband should be willing to contribute to his household in whatever way is necessary. Ultimately, as Muslims our goal with marriage is for us to work together as spouses to please Allah (swt). So let’s please stop creating content and talking about each other in an inflammatory way that puts us in conflict with one another when we should be striving to work together. Sources: - islam.stackexchange.com/questions/73408/why-is-cooking-and-cleaning-not-the-duty-of-the-wife - www.thehanbalimadhhab.com/QandA/wife-obeying-husband/ - seekersguidance.org/answers/family-ties/is-it-sinful-for-a-wife-not-to-cook-and-clean-if-she-is-a-shafii/ - musafurber.com/2018/06/26/husband-must-inform-wives-are-not-obligated-to-cook-and-clean/ - fiqh.islamonline.net/en/is-housework-only-for-wife/?amp - www.islamweb.net/amp/en/fatwa/348295/ Edit: Added one more link. I hope you all find it beneficial inshallah.
Mahdi may suffer from a deadly allergic reaction if he says anything positive regarding women😂 look at him struggling when he mentions both man and woman working 40hrs a week and that it’s not ‘unreasonable’ to expect help in such a case. He can’t even bring himself to say it out right. My husband and I find him funny and entertaining with his cartoonish level misogyny. The guy is smart and knows how to capitalise on these Average Abdullahs.
Literally, one of the best comments I've read on this video 💯👏👏👏👏. The guy has HUGE misogynistic insecurities and abandonment issues that need tackling by professionals. I believe that people like that choose the poorest and weakest to marry, just so they would stay with them. The guy doesn't know that his "marriage" is so fragile. No matter how many babies he's got with his wife, if he keeps treating his wife in the same manner, it will be just a matter of time till the illusion of his "marriage" comes crumbling down.
I also used to find his cartoonish level of misogyny quite entertaining, but now I can't 😌, he has degenerated to a toxic alpha male that make me want to scream.
@@IYasmineI lol apparently he’s already been divorced twice. I think he had 3 wives at one point but his first divorced him because he hit her and their son and his second wife who was a ‘no strings nikah’ marriage deal also left him. I think only the third is left but he may have married more by now…I mean God knows with that man. It’s funny to me that the 2 most problematic brothers on that panel are twice divorced.😆
@@Falasteen7urra Wow! didn't know that. But yeah that was a very interesting guest choice by Ali. They gave people the worst idea about Islam and Muslims. I honestly hope that Ali takes this episode down before any non-Muslim watches it and it causes them to grow further away from Islam.
I can only sympathize when the chores are still done manually. I used to wash clothes by hand piece by piece, cook rice before rice cooker become cheap enough, still washing dishes manually to this day, still sweeping and mopping floors because I don't have vacuum, still ironing clothes, and it only takes less than 2 hours to finish all. If you have washing machine, dishwasher, vacuum cleaner, oven, etc, I don't think you're in the position to complain about chores. Now, raising children is another beast. It takes a lot of time and energy (physically, mentally, and emotionally), especially if the child has special needs and/or disability.
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The 500 pound lady with half a hijab on shouldn’t have been allowed on this show
*SERIOUSLY!! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU BRING ON NOBODY'S LIKE THIS DISGUSTING VILE INDIVIDUAL MAHDI!!!*
I say this as a GUY!!!
THIS GUY IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF WHAT OUR BELOVED PROPHET ESPOUSED AND STOOD FOR!!
*LOST ALOT OF RESPECT FOR YOU MR Ali!!*
What sort of conversations are these? Is this a joke? Why do we need to debate about this?
After watching your video, the men who actually do cook or clean, might not do so because of the negative influence and corruption you are spreading by these useless conversations.
If a man doesn't clean his plate after he has finished eating, thats a child, NOT a man! You need to stop giving an illusion that all muslim men are tyrants at home. Where is the mens ettiqutte or good manners in islam. Men cannot walk home and demand things, this is not islam! It is common sense to clean up after yourself and good manners, and sunnahs of prophet. He was the most busiest man, and worked so hard during his prophecy, yet he still mended his own clothes and helped around. And you men work from home and say you are not lifting a finger. Shame on you'll.
Also why is the term 'feminist' thrown around all the time? What does it even mean these days? What are you trying to achieve with using that term? Not one of them women on that panel are modern days feminists. Most muslim women are not modern day feminists. Stop throwing it around.
Your videos are really painful to watch. You're not even having these conversatioms around the context of islam, but just on the basis of how you and some other men feel. Also stop bringing "I provide and protect so you have to cook and clean in return" in this debate. You are told directly by Allah swt that you must provide and protect. End of. You cannot hold that as ransome.
You men defend women in islam by telling non muslims that women are highly respected in islam- but your conversations are giving the impression that women just clean and cook and thats the only reason she is married to a man. Phrase your debates better and make things clearer and do not lead people astray.
I do not get a peaceful vibe from your videos @Ali Dawah. I don't know if its the way you speak, structure things or apply your own perspective into things... but its very negative..and doesnt make my imaan stronger, which i assume these videos should and that's your aim. Wallahi i need to stop watching your videos for my sake and Allahs sake.
May Allah guide everyone to goodness.
@@mrsuperflyhigh1exactly sister... my blood is boiling with the sigh of this man, he makes me physically feel sick because he is a nasty man! Lost respect for Ali Dawah for bringing him along! ALI DAWAH what are you doing this man, is he a scholar? He is a sexual predator who loves promoting his haram marriages... the way he talks about with no respect... look mohammed hijab MashaAllah such a talented educated man, yet he is soo soft and respectful with women!!
Married 5+ years with three kids, I think I am entitled to have opinions. My wife is main cook. However, when I am off from work I do house work and cook and look after the kids when she goes to university. It’s all about corporation and understanding and communicating. She makes my life easier and I try to make her life easier. There is no competition rather corporation. Don’t listen to outside noises rather solve your problems and make each other life easier. I love my wife. Stop this fake red bill and feminist ideology and treat with each other with respect and kindness and selflessness because the end of the day it’s about the kids.
May Allah bless your marriage. This whole men vs women thing is so disgusting. Like you said it‘s all about coperation 👏🏼
Well said brother!
but men shouldn't be expected to cook and clean just like how wives aren't expected to split the bills.
yes, this is true . also pitting women against men is the treachery that ruins many people . Accept to get up before the dawn for your ibadah you need to put the basics of the deen and iman of the Quran before all this don't completely give up your entire religion . This said Ibrahim after going to sacrifice his son did not because it was wrong . Your family often takes president .
@@kojo2773 it's not necessarily about expectation but rather support for one another. If you love someone, you will be happy to support them in their role if they are struggling e.g. financially, if a husband is struggling 1 month, a loving wife will help cut costs, she'll cut demands not because she's obliged to but because she wants to help you when you're struggling. That doesn't mean you never spend on her anymore,never buy her gifts or clothes, but its that out of her good heart, she tells you not to ignore that stuff for now. Similarly, a husband should be willing to help his wife in stuff he is able to do. If he can't cook, then at least show support to clean sometimes, out of love for her and to help when she's struggling.
I used to sound like these guys when I was a little boy before i was married with children. Before I've seen my wife breast feed 3 babies, seen cesareans, plus cooks, cleans, teaches my babies and gives her body to me. Sometimes we are truly selfish and disgusting and I'm truly ashamed of who I used to be. Me building my business and making money is nothing compared to what she does.
Brother, it’s the fact the you realise shows how far you have come and have matured. These lots are still immature no matter how many children they have.
MashāAllaah thabarraak. This is growth in marriage from the male perspective. May Allah SWT Allow us all to appreciate our spouses, both husband and wife.
But we are not comparing who’s role is more important?
@@lamomahmood694 bro I'm not comparing. We're all powerful in our own way, male and female. But if you see a woman go all out that's when you learn to respect women deeper. You'll understand when you meet a sincerely devoted woman, that gives all of herself to please her family. The reason it's admirable is because no matter how much I try I could never be as selfless as my wife.
@@1090shaz Alhamdulillah. I have to keep it real, my wife is on another level in her sacrifices. I could never sacrifice as much as she does. But it's her selflessness that makes me go even harder, because if she's going all in then I'm going all in too insha Allah...
It’s not unreasonable to help your wife with house chores. It’s kindness and there’s reward in it🙏🏾
I would help my wife. But, she should not have the expectation that I’m going to help her. I will do it because I love her not because it’s my duty. My duty is to Provide for the family and to help raise the kids.
@@gga6385 yes and she would appreciate you for that 🙂
Yes, my Dad never did anything! I was surprised when my husband was cooking and cleaning. I try to get it all done but I stop by the store and get home late so he cooked dinner. Is there a way to stop him?😂I work part time cause he sent the children to his home country because US has a bad influence on kids.
True but let’s remember is the one getting Hassanat in the first place bc it’s not even an obligation for her to cook and clean
@@gga6385 you wouldn't be helping her, it's part of the responsibility that comes with a partnership
Hamdulah my husband is not like YOU guys ! I had 2 complicated pregnancies, cesarean section, postpartum, 2 tornado children, 2 years of breastfeeding, 2 years of lack of sleep. Fortunately my husband was there for the household chores, he does it himself when he sees that I am overwhelmed, I cook, but sometimes a pizza in the oven will be enough. so it has to be fluid and natural and don’t dare ask for help. We are not superhumans. later when the children are at school it’s easier to organize.
MashAllah, a real man!
You like bringing specific cases to general cases
@@AbdoulrahmanDjibriloh shut up and get a life please
Alhamdulillah * is the right way to say and spell it sister.......
Do you expect your husband to do certain chores, cooking, cleaning etc as standard like on a rota basis if he is the sole breadwinner?
I'm not married but there is nothing wrong with a man helping his wife to cook, clean, look after kids. Helping her is part of the relationship, this is love.
👏👏👏👏
Thank you
I think the problem arises when one party is putting more effort than the other. If both spouses are appreciative and acknowledge the efforts that each has done i think marriages will be more successful. Also not being critical of the spouse. As long as the effort is there the outcome doesn't matter.
Hebr 1,2 Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, *by whom also he made the worlds;*
as everyone can see the term Son of God refers to the Word of God = god himself! For through that God created the worlds! *what a mistake in the Qur'an!*
@@khadsykoo2528 yes 100%. Some times the husband or wife may be tired and it's understandable if they have not got all chores done. They are people at the end of the day not robots. Marriage is a partnership or takes both parties to make it work and be understanding and lenient for it to work.
This is so sad treating marriage like a business, value here, value there. When you love each other you’ll do what it take to make the other happy and find compromise instead of fighting and forcing each other!
I am not married yet, but I will not be against doing the houseworks as much as I can, even if I am working, and it will be really nice to see my husband imply himself in them too.
💯
When women go to western countries they act like westerns. Marriage shouldn’t be a business like you said
If u were a man then u wouldt say that😂
You don't make any sense. The girls wanted the husband to pay 100% of the bills and do household chores. They're pretty much saying the husband should shoulder 80% of the workload and receive 50% of the credit. Teamwork is 50/50 at all times.
@@DestroyerOffofc not I wouldn't be made if my husband payed like 70 or 80 percent of the bills and I would pay like the 30/20 percent of the bill just like I except to do that why font my man help me a bit not alot but like at least the dishes that's it !!! Or at least like one/two chorse in the house
Instead of viewing your relationship with your wife as a boss-employee dynamic based solely on a contractual agreement, it's better to consider yourselves as a team, with a strong sense of empathy towards each other.
Yes
finally a guy w this mindset
Mahdi only sees his wives as a valuable item that he can use and abuse as he pleases, as his personal servant.
Yes 100%
🤗🤗🤗🤗
I grew up in a traditional household but I still saw my dad cook,clean, iron clothes, paint the house etc… not all the time but especially if my mother was doing a lot. Having a wife doesn’t equal becoming disabled and not being able to do basic life skills.
We also had a timetable of chores both girls and boys had to help out. He literally told us that he doesn’t like how our culture only makes mothers and girls contribute to the house, my brothers have hands too
Is ur mom paying the bills? Is ur dad ur slave? He spends hours to make money for u to enjoy n then expect him to contribute in the meaningless job at home. Why did your mom not help him to provide and protect? What's a wm's role in a relationship? Are you an egg?
In all my life I have never felt so ashamed and embarrassed of Muslim men like this video has made me feel.
Fr
Muslim men online are just so disappointing and toxic.
Because they are talking about their personal opinions not Islamic 😶
@@zayc4002 like you
@@saacidsahal5588 awww bohooo I hurt a chronically online Muslim boys feelings. Go cry to your mom 😂
I felt really sad watching this video, because our Muslim men have come to the point of making going to work such a big thing. All I heard was "if I go to work...blah blah blah". When I was growing up, men of my father's generation went to work and didn't make a big issue about it. I never once heard them say "i go to work" because they knew that's what they did as men, provide for their families. And they worked very very hard! What has society come to? So sad!
It seems like men want to stay at home and play PlayStation!lol!
I understand what you are saying, but men back then was proud to go work and it was a normal thing because traditional roles existed and was the normal thing. The men would go to work and would a have wife to come home to who looked after the kids and cooked and cleaned. Traditional roles is frowned upon todays society unlike before when men used worked like it was normal and didn’t need to mention it. Men are starting to mention it now specifically because they are still expected of being the traditional providers and working but when they want a traditional wife who cooks and cleans it is frowned upon. Therefore they must mention “ If I am going to work…..” then they want a wife who will play her part of the traditional dynamic between husband and wife. If it was still like the old days when men would have traditional households by default then they would never need to mention the fact about working today. That is the difference between your fathers generation and this generation. It’s the same as saying women of your mothers generation cooked and cleaned the house and didn’t make a big issue about it. It works both ways and the issue is double standards that causes these problems. Women want to marry a traditional husband who protects and provides but get offended or upset by the idea of being the traditional wife.
@@TheNiaz55 exactly, you nailed it brother, thankyou
And they worked harder than any of these podcast wife be*ters do... none of these men could even bare a day of the hard work that my father did b4 he retired and still does work part time. He would also help with the household chores as much as he cud...and as I live on my own, he even helps me out with bits and bobs though I've told him not to...alhamdulillah proud to have a real man as my father... these kids... including Ali bro who invited an actual ab*ser... can't hold a candle to my father... all bunch of drama Queens that need to clout to hate on women...
@TheNiaz55 you keep deluding yourself with that bro...
Women, especially in our ummah are still brought up with the idea that they will be doing the housework and looking after kids... in most households... even in kafir households women still do major amount of the so called traditional feminine role... difference is that many have to work now cos one person working is not enough... yet men will still expect to not be the ones who shud help out in the house cos its not their role... even though they hardly work as hard as our fathers did...in much more difficult conditions and actually used to do a lot more in the house.
You are probably someone who is still fed by their mother or sister...yet is thinking that your future wife will not unfortunately replace them... cos she will know that she will get stuck with the double burden to support you financially cos your job isn't enough to keep up with the cost of living but still find time to cook and clean for u... up your game in supporting her...and she will happily be the "traditional wife"
And even then don't forget that your job will be limited to 40hrs tops .. hers will be 24 hours 7 days a week...with no weekend or holidays especially after birthing your kids
People seem to underestimate how hard it is to watch after children especially those with special needs. A regular job seems like a holiday next to it let’s be honest.
A lot of ppl are very narrow minded. They don't give an ounce of consideration to nuanced circumstances.
What is a regular job? A special needs kid is an awful lot of work, but so is majority of jobs. All the men in my family died early, bcs of scarred lungs, basically suffocating to death, bcs of the work they had to do for their wifes and kids. Bad backs, rough hands and dried out skin. Most men don't work in cozy offices with coffee and whatever.
Actually true. Household chores and raising kids are much much harder tasks than regular office jobs. I am a service holder and can vouch for that.
@@hakunamatata3935 I hear you, at the same time majority of men don’t work in offices
Soooooo true
Being a provider is not only financially y’all … it’s also emotionally, physically, mentally etc etc
Thank you!! Then they complain about gold-digger wives lol
Aisha, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), was asked, “What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family (كَانَ يَكُونُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ) and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari)
The word used in the hadith is mihnah (مِهْنَة), which is translated as ‘busy serving’ here, also means in the Arabic language ‘work’, ‘job’, ‘profession’, etc. This implies helping your wife in the house is a full time job as well. Whether it’s helping wash the dishes, cooking, cleaning, raising the kids, etc., is all part and parcel of being the ‘man’ of the house. The notion that it is somehow degrading for men to help and work with the wife around the house is foreign to Islam.
In another report Aisha is reported to have said, “He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.” (Adab Al-Mufrad graded sahih by Al-Albani)
In yet another report it is said that she said, “He milked his goat.” (Ahmad)
Hence, he did not find such things too ‘womanish’ for him to do. It is no wonder that he said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Tirmidhi; Ibn Majah)
@Cooler The Tyrant he's talking about a different word..check the spelling brother. The word the brother referred to literally means profession (which is another name for a job)..the word you're referring to means the explanation you've provided above. Avoid name calling Baraka Allah Feek
This is the only thing that need to be said on this matter. So thankyou for using proofs to make the most valid point! These guys have so much arrogance it is sickening astaghfirullah! May Allah Guide us all towards humility.
@@long_one5491 Such things he didn't find too womanish for him. Quoting it from (Aisha)❤️ 😃
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam.
It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house
@@hashbrown4me May ALLAH guide you if you've left the deen
This video is so damaging to the Muslim community. As a Muslim, I am so embarrassed that non-Muslims now have a peak into this lowly and degenerate problem that we have: men who are unable to look at their wives as human beings who deserve compassion and empathy. Here we are, calling our wives as “maids”, inviting a man who has restraining orders from his ex-wives and children due to abuse to give advice about marriage. And we wonder why people say Islam oppresses women. You heard it here from their own mouth. Wal iyathoobillah
Unfortunately I was shaking my head every time this brother guest in the middle spoke.. extremely embarrassing.. Allah has given us sisters so much beautiful blessings being Muslims.. the sister who spoke about the reward of looking after her husband, beyond what is expected of her, is the type of view we need to share to both Muslims and non Muslims.. but this brother who speaks of his wives as purely what he gains, as if Allah has made a wife's life with no enjoyment or beneficial to her life outside her responsibilities to her husband and children isn't islamic.. his mouth is why non Muslims think Islam is made for men..
I agree. They should not make such videos that make the religion look terrible. Representing muslims the wrong way and this with so many views, people will get really a bad idea. May Allah protect us. Protect us for showing things like this for UA-cam views…
They have bigger problems than we do ours are just a tip in the iceberg compared to what they have
There’s a brother in this video who was abusive and has abandoned at least 2 of his children. The ummah hide secrets and ppl like him are in these positions giving out terrible advice.
@Olivia Silvera I don't understand why he was brought on to even talk.. a conversation without Islam being the foundation, is damaging to us as Muslims and feeds into the negative view non Muslims have about us.. 2 of the brothers being divorced, but talking about marriage subjects.. very disappointing, when there could be good knowledge for us on this large platform brother Ali has..
This is exactly why we need to take our knowledge from scholars! La hawla wala quwwata illah billah. It's scary how confidently some people espouse such ignorance. May Allah subhanahu wa taala guide us all, ameen.
ameen sis ameen this is the realest comment ive seen
@@ayesha-hr3wrdamn that rhymes
As a muslim man, I'm ashamed of what they are stating here. My mom raised me such that she never let me cook, I never ever polished my shoes till I started going to college. We are three brothers and have no sisters. We were good at school so she made sure that we don't get distracted. Then I went out for higher education and had to leave my city. I was alone then because my mom wasn't there for me and I learnt many things on my own. From youtube etc sometimes asking my mom why some things I made were not tasting good. Even now when I go back to my city my mom does everything for me. I have a huge respect for my mom and all the women out there. Especially, our Muslim women take so much care of us. Nikah is like getting into one team as our great teacher Prophet (S.A.W) showed us and set a good example for us. There are no hard boundaries in team. Everyone has each other's back whenever its needed. I don't see anything wrong in helping your partner.
My allah bless you
This video was bombastically EMBARRASSING for those men and I pray Allah protects us women from men like that Ameen.
A also pray to Allah to protect us (men) from women who prioritize their careers over their family, who refuse to fulfill their duties as a mother and wife. Amin. You say Amin too.
@@danie6045 congratulations
As a man I can totally agree with you sister..
I agree, and from a woman's perspective, seeing the men's opinions about certain things, I was like "Woah, is it really necessary to say that?", some of the things they said were just really badly constructed. Like I get where they're coming from (kinda) but still really embarrassing as a whole.
They said nothing wrong.
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam.
It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house - If anyone has a problem with this go learn and study your religion instead of speaking from feminism and your desires.
If a man has a good wife that fulfils his rights, by default he will be more inclined to help her, though it is not his responsibility.
So if you want a man to help you out of love, then fulfil these mandatory rights like being obedient to him, etc.
My greatest experience alhamdulillah is seeing the birth of my child. I was holding up my wife’s leg and telling her to push in the labour ward. That experience allowed me to appreciate mothers so much more. Alhamdulillah
That's how it should be. Some males want to act like the victims when the woman is the one going through the extreme physical pain. Have you seen those videos where males whine/scream when a period/contractions simulator is put on them?
I pray there is a special place in Hell for males who don't support, appreciate and help their wives through this process that kills many women. Bringing a child into the world is worth more than anything they can do.
Brothers idk why it's so hard to relate to u guys who are born and bought up in the west. This whole thing about seeing the birth of your child is completely a western notion, it's not in any of the other places around the Muslim Ummah. In the old times or even recently in places that have not been westernised, the woman in labor will accompanied by midwife and her mother. That's it. That's how my parents and grandparents were born. The men wouldn't allowed inside until the baby's born. Even right now, most of my male family members will never be present during childbirth or rather they would be highly preferred not to by their own wives and mothers. I live in a place where there are people of other religions, and the strange thing is that this is not just a muslim thing it's practiced by everybody. Maybe it's a culture thing, maybe the western culture has permeated in your mind and religion.
@@dearrationals nobody's downplaying physical pain that a woman have to suffer during labor. Rather it's about this western notion of the husband being present during childbirth that is in question. This is a foreign practice that has never been mentioned by the prophet or the Qur'an. There's also a special place in hell for those who will twist or make up something that's not in Islam for some kind of an agenda.
@@Aamirmhmd99 you dont need to be present in the birthroom but at least have the human decency and show that you care and are excited and thankful. She has one of her most critical and emotional moments in her life and this shaytan faced dude is talking like he couldnt care less went to sleep. She could die or your children could die or want you to be around when the child is born. What kind of antisocial behavior is this? What are you people? People like you only bring fitna. You people act like you never learn social mannerisms and dont know how to be a spouse.
@@Qwertyuiop-xz3kj i get your point but we don't know the situation. His wife was giving birth at his home, a mid wife was present there maybe he just dozed off for sometime. For instance when my mother had me, my father was outside. It took like 6 or 7hrs until I was born. U can't expect him to stay awake for all the time. He could've dozed off during that time. And my mom didn't have a problem with that, she understood it naturally. In fact every birth in my family has been like this. The process of birth takes hours and the men will be present outside. Once the baby is born a nurse or a midwife will bring it outside, will give it to them and then take it back. And then after a few mor e hrs only will the men be allowed inside permanently. In fact people other faiths also do this in my country. Maybe this is a western problem, not a muslim one.
But if he didn't care about his wife, Allah will punish him for certain in this life or in the here after.
This is why marriage scares me. Growing up with a father who wouldn’t even clean up after himself, let alone do housework (bear in mind both my parents worked full time), I really thought that was the mindset of the older generation. I’ll stay single forever thanks.
Don't let this make you think that! This is very sad. Majority will not be like this. May Allah swt send you ibn halal who treats you like a princess.
"bear in mind both my parents worked full time" - it doesn't matter. that is still a woman responsibility
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam.
It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house - If anyone has a problem with this go learn and study your religion instead of speaking from feminism and your desires.
If a man has a good wife that fulfils his rights, by default he will be more inclined to help her, though it is not his responsibility.
So if you want a man to help you out of love, then fulfil these mandatory rights like being obedient to him, etc.
@@shadowstorm5261 I don't think anyone said otherwise. I'm a wife of 26 years and have 4 grown children. My husband is amazing works hard and we run our business together, and I work with him just as hard as he does, I do it to help my husband as he has no family here. I still am a wife and mother though and still run the house hold. My husband is the leader and I do the cooking and cleaning aswell, he treats me like a queen, because he appreciates it. I don't have to help him! I do! Because he is my husband and father of my children. He wants a coffee, I make it! As I expect my husband to protect us! It's not an us verses them. Both men and women need to stop this angry your job, his job stuff. We do everything for Allah! We need to be nicer. Man and woman should complement each other. That's why we were created differently. I pray Allah swt keeps us away from the fitnah of this dunya, and keeps us on the straight path. 🤲 May Allah bless you.
@@shadowstorm5261 Then she's not a wife. She's an underpaid maid with an expired child, not a husband.
Watching this made me internally rage. I do not think I could ever get married because I have next to no respect for men at all anymore. They actually disgust me as a woman and I think I might be single forever because of it. I can work and provide for myself and maintain a house on my own without waiting on anyone. I am so tired of toxic masculinity and catering to men's ego's and pride that I want nothing to do with them.
I had to stop watching. It was just the men complaining and the women sitting there not being heard. This disgusts me and gives me a bad impression of Islam or at least the men in it. Im actually so repulsed.
At this point I'm giving up they didn't even wanna lisen to the woman
I have seen the way this Ali Dawah speaks in other videos representing Islam. He is one person who has given Islam a bad name. Very hateful person.
What I can say is how muslim people behave is not always how Islam teaches us and we are all humans and its perfectly normal for us sometimes to go astray hopefully we will find the right way
In islam men and women are different and hence the difference in responsibilities
Allah knows best so I believe in Allah's assignment in responsibilities
the irony of that prideful and hubris filled comment not all men are toxic and not all women are angels with zero problems
I understand why Shakeel stayed quiet the whole time and said he feels like none of this is conversation is applicable to him. That’s because a man who is of high value who thinks of his wife as a person he genuinely loves and respects (not a literal maid, as one of them said) can not even imagine having these kind of lowly discussions about her. The 2 with the most angry things to say both have the most trouble with women - it figures. Please bring men with happy family lives only into a discussion like this.
He’s the only person on that panel that has sense
As a man on the panel , Shakeel should have spoke up against the other two men if he disagreed with their views instead of staying quiet
his entire point was she should be cleaning and cooking and he shouldnt have to have a debate with her when hes doing his part and you completely missed the point lmfao you're just dumb he agrees with the other 2 on everything, you just let ur feelings control you. they havent said a single thing Shakeel didn't agree with, in fact, he was always joking with them and nodding at their points lol
@@TheHana101 that is impossible because men fear to criticize other men their voice is only against women.
I thought the brothers were saying nothing wrong, its there thoughts. I think our sisters appreciate the men their lives, we too quickly think evil and bad of them rather then make excuses for them, at times we are very petty and drag a issue too long
I work and also help my wife with the house chores. Specifically, the 2 toilets in our house and all the other parts of the house, vacuum/mop the floors etc. My wife helps with the laundry and cooking. She serve me drinks and food when I came home from work and when we have lunch and dinner. I am lucky to have my wife and of course she is lucky to have me as well! :)
This is Sweet. May Allah bless your marriage
@@roseblue6992 Amin. Thank you May Allah bless your marriage too :)
you are a decent and good man. My dad is same way as you. may Allah guide others to not be so selfish and transactional with their partners regardless of man or wife.
Simp
May Allah bless your beautiful marriage and keep you both healthy and happy 🌸
I've been married for 6 years now and i always help my wife with chores. This is sunnah btw. I married her because i love her not because i wanted someone to clean my house. I would have stayed single and gotten a maid in that case. To each his own i guess.
May Allah reward you.
Where does it say it's sunnah?
@@witcher4489 the prophet ﷺ used to clean around the house and help his wives. That is sunnah
Does she work ?
@Adot-dropshipper WTH??
As a single woman this video makes me cry, I'm already traumatize all my life serving the man in the house including my dad, brothers and uncles, to the point they could never know how to do the dishes. And when all of these man failed at work all the burden of providing for the house all end up to the woman, and I feel terified by these notion that a woman value is being a maid in the house with no voice what so ever 😢
i feel you but caring for your father is ok but your brother should get there as up and work
I don't know what type of family you were born to but since when does the burden of providing for the house end up on the women?
@@abdullahnizar6784 some houses do make the women cook and clean and take care of them while they just sleep but i feel like taking caring of your father isn't a bad thing but your uncle you can do few things once in a while but unless your brother has a broken bone he should get up and help around
But why should they know how to do the dishes they look after you and you should look after them
@@فوزيةالعنزي-ز7ع yes but we are talking about the uncle and brother who do basically nothing for the family
"Happy marriage leads to a happy life. Husband and wife are like hands and fingers; they work together as a team, helping each other in all aspects of life." 💯💯
But sometimes the wife only have 4 fingers
Man is the team leader though, otherwise big problems.
@@khaderlander2429 the team leader usually does most of the work
@@primeminister1040 yep and the members obey and listen and do as commanded
exactly
I grew up watching my mom do mostly everything around the house because my dad is all day at work, but still, my dad used to make them both breakfast if he wakes up before her, if he see's that she needs help with him around he would get up and help, and he did all the physical stuff around the house (pipes, electricity or whatever), i wish i could get half the happiness they have and imma be fine, also i think most importantly they never slacked in helping eachother or complained, also mom never asked him to do any cleaning or cooking EVER.
We should here beautiful marriage stories like this very often. May Allah bless your parents and give long life and your family. 😘
@teaspoon Mashallah bless your beautiful parents and may Allah give them shifa and long life. Marriage is about being caring loving supporting and protecting each other. thank you for shearing your amizing family story.
Maashallah that is beautiful. We have hadith of the prophet muhammad peace be upon him would work around the house and help out in household. Why is it so difficult for men to understand?
MashaAllah! May Allah SWT grant you a marriage like theirs, filled with love, respect and Imaan above all else ❤️
@@rj.a3861 it’s only beautiful because u live in the west but when u follow the sunnah of the prophet saw that’s the norm,
As a very traditional wife/mother who contributes financially to the family (for extra things that would be considered luxuries) AND happily manages the entire household by herself, these male guests disgust me. It’s not what they’re saying it’s their attitude and manner, with such lack of Adab especially in front of females. I will go above and beyond for my husband because I RESPECT him. If you want a woman to treat you like a king, start with respect. If a woman doesn’t respect a man she will never be happy to serve him.
For context I’m Australian so I don’t know any of these people aside from br Ali (whos mannerisms I respect) and I hope this is not a representation of men in the uk.
@Zeedan of course as soon as a sister don't agree with the nonsense she is called feminist or being emotional, plz we can control our emotion don't treat us like idiots 🙄
Apart from Ali dawah yes i agree with the sis these men are disgusting, their message their attitude literally everything, they think they are better, they think they are smarter and somehow with the perfect reaseaning, no that's not how msridage works, no wonder why Mahdi tidjani got divorced 2 times and have restricted orders done against him and his kids, the way he talk says it all and the others laughing like it's a comedy show it's even more pathetic and childish, can't even talk like mature adults men, can't deliver an idea without actually making fun , just a horrible episode
I think it’s important that we don’t act like kufir on thses podcast an argue amongst ourselves, remember where Muslims
@@bintermanno idk anything about mahdi, but whatever those guys said wasn't disrespectful or disgusting. What they said was as men we will help our wives willingly, but we must not be expected to do so. Rather we do it because we want our spouse to be at ease, get comfortable and be loved.
There are a lot of issues that men face, such as the brother who's afraid to get married but those issues are not being addressed properly. This will cause a lot of men to go to other places, it's only happening in the west to all the people who reside there, not just muslims.
Eventually all the women there at the panel agreed, so do u have problem with them too?
@Zeedan the WAY you say things matters a lot. Things can be taken out of context easily and in Islam we have to be careful with our tongues. Yet here you are being harsh and generalising women. Islam teaches us to be careful what comes out of our mouth. The sister is correct in her point and you’re getting emotional over what she’s said
This is extremely heartbreaking 💔 why is it so hard for the man to help the woman out? It baffles me. We both work...I work 50 hours a week, cook, clean and handle all duties while he sits around doing no household chores. I'm exhausted and he still doesn't care when I shut down. I'm completely unattracted to him because of his laziness
You will be rewarded in Jannah inshallah❤
Are you contributing to the finances?
@@AbdoulrahmanDjibril I get what you mean, but you have no idea what childbearing is like. That is the contribution.
@@abeerkindred5038 I don't care. I fullfil my duties without complaining and so should the woman
@@AbdoulrahmanDjibril HAQQ brother
My dear brother Ali, my sincere advice to you, may Allah bless you, is that please don’t bring people on these platforms that could be a harm to the people by giving their own opinions which is nothing based on islam. Many youths might be listening to these shows, please only bring people of sound knowledge, learned men who have spent their lives studying these things, not any person who has a platform on social media. It could do more harm than good and you would also be held accountable. Also another advice is that I think the people here (mainly brothers) should speak a bit more respectfully and a bit more formally rather than speaking a lot of slang. Nothing wrong with slang, just not on these platforms. Let’s set a good example and standard, especially for our youth. Barakallahu feekum.
100% agreed. Allahumma Baarik. Aameen!
You can keep yourself righteousness and virtue signaling with you in your own delusions, but in the real world shows have to address reality as it is
Very well said...May ALLAH SWT grant us all hidayah to present our viewpoint in such a respectful manner as well Ameen
@@OwnGrid reality? Are you delusional like the men in the video 🤣
@@OwnGrid pls just be quiet when people of knowledge are speaking don’t add your mouth okay 👍
Watching this made my blood boil, its really sad to think his wife gave birth alone instead of being by her side supporting her. I hope these young men soon realise how wrong they are!
That so sick 😮 ! His wife was in labour pain and he didn’t come to room to hold her hand?? I’m polish my husband it’s Pakistani born (Jhelum city) When I go to hospital for to delivery room he was there holding my hand,pass megas (air oxygen to reduce my labour pain and even cut umbilical cord (of course my midwife ask him if he like to do so) 😊 with our second child unlucky he can’t be in delivery room he was working in another city so boss won’t let him close outside stall to come to me because there was no other worker available and driving motorway take another 40,45 minutes to reach our city but his sisters was there he was calling asking if I’m fine if baby is fine, our third baby born 6 years later even we fight ,disagree about lots of things I remember he asked me if I like he come to delivery room week before labour day I said yes but we fight few fays later and in angryness I told him to no come to delivery room even after this hurtful words he hear from me he still make to come over hold my hand in hospital during labour support me and sleep on chair till morning even we are from 2 different country’s he still try to make it right way and yes that right some Pakistani man don’t to house chores my husband working all day he no pick up his plate after finishing food he no do washing by him self and he won’t do hoover around house either 🤷🏻♀️ I’m at home all day what other work I have to do than hoovering cooking washing look after kids ?? He helping from time to time with our boys shower’s or make them sleep it’s still better than man who sit after work and just wait doing nothing because no all European boys are helping either and them wifes partners need to go work 1 person can’t manage all these needs unless he is well educated and have good paid job specially in UK so all this things depends on man character and how his mother or both parents taught him if he wasn’t taught this things as kid or teenager how can aspects he will do those things as adult 🤷🏻♀️
Dayoottthhhhhhhh😂😂😂😂 burning because can’t handle the truth??
Is it an Islamic obligation or something? In my community men aren’t even allowed around when women are giving birth.
The mothers and midwives take care of that. Her Mom and my Mom are much more empathetic to her situation than me.
Yeah but sister as you heard not all women wants her man to see her like that , and not all men can handle it they might make it worse
I agree with you
“Just do the damn dishes?” - Is this how this brother talks to his wife or any human for that matter? I'm embarrassed for him - Did his parents not teach him how to talk to people or any manners? Clearly not. Also, I get that everybody has their own personal preference as to whether they should be there at their child's birth but it's actually sad listening to these brothers' responses. It just goes to show they haven't matured yet know matter how many kids they have. Wallah, this makes me so grateful for my husband. May Allah swt preserve him.
Right they’re all laughing while talking with women when they should have a respectful civil conversation
Teach me how to get a good husband 🥺💜
Or at least, how to recognize if someone is husband material or not
@@ijustwannacommentnotmyreal9814 Sister, none of us are perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect spouse or marriage. Pray tahajjud and make dua to Allah. These men are the perfect example of what you should not be looking for in a spouse.
@@ijustwannacommentnotmyreal9814 other than prayers and basic ibaadah, I think someone who's kindness and honesty stands out is really important for me
He mentions it later on that he puts everything in the extreme. I doubt he's like this with his wife. Think good of people, make excuses for them.
The woman wearing black hijab is such a gem may God bless her ya Rab
No she's not, she's wearing hijab in such manner that her hair are fully exposed
@@ibrahimshah3378you’re the type of guy to go out in public wearing tight trousers or shorts YET criticising the women
@@Unknown-mi9xd nope i don't wear tight trousers nor jeans, a traditional shalwar that covers my ankles, poor attempt at throwing blame at someone else
@@ibrahimshah3378 you as a man arent supposed to cover your ankles tho.. check it out
Lmao this women in comment section really does not know their place.
I think the Muslim youth are going woke on the obligations in marriage. It’s not black and white, it’s about having empathy for each other and helping each other.
Exactly
It's muslim women who started the gender war of rights and obligations.
It all started with women saying they're not obliged to cook and clean. Now men are also saying we're not obliged to do this and that.
And regarding this matter, I want to say that:
Do you knon what else the majority of scholars said aside from the wife not being obliged to cook and clean.
They said:
1- The husband isn't obliged to pay for her medical treatment, doctor's fee and her medicine.
2- The husband isn't obliged to answer his wife's invitation to bed. The wife only has right to intimacy once and only once every 4 months.
3- The wife is only entitled to two garments of clothing each year.
4- The husband isn't obliged to oay for his wife's funeral preparations.
@@kojo2773 Anyone can make claims on the scholars behalf, provide your evidence.
Are you saying that it is "woke" to have empathy for each other? I'm confused.
When you are doing anything good for the sake of Allah, you never lose. No matter the gender or what the “chore” is. Help for the sake of Allah, do things for the sake of Allah and at the end of the day you’re the one who’s winning.
This is what I was thinking but couldn’t articulate it. JazakaAllahu khayr
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam.
It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house - If anyone has a problem with this go learn and study your religion instead of speaking from feminism and your desires.
If a man has a good wife that fulfils his rights, by default he will be more inclined to help her, though it is not his responsibility.
So if you want a man to help you out of love, then fulfil these mandatory rights like being obedient to him, etc.
@@shadowstorm5261 there children broh
@@shadowstorm5261 Bro spamming comment everywhere .😂
My grandmother widowed young and my dad, 4 uncles and 3 brothers all are comfortable and happy to do housework, cook even when they worked and my nephew has been taught the same. My husband wasn't allowed to lift a finger before we got married as his mum said it was shameful for her sons to do housework. Alhumdulillah he had my dad as the role model, and when I became ill the first time, he stepped up. He cooks, cleans, hoovers and does it all and never complains, he's extremely proud of it too. He helps me change bed sheets as well and has never complained, Ma'sha'Allah tabarakallah. We both work full time and live in our house, we know our responsibilities and are fluid with whats needed where. It beggers belief there's ppl who don't think men shouldn't do housework when it's a beautiful sunnah of our Prophet PBUH. 16 years going strong Alhumdulillah because we don't care for ppls opinions if it's in the quran or sunnah their voices are muted for us.
That's beautiful mashaallah
Alhamdulilah I am soooo thankful that I found an amazing husband who is a provider but also respectful and loving. He would never talk like this.
As a british muslim man, i think this content can do more harm than good to the youth, as adults we kinda know how things go, marriage aint easy for sure, but you have quotes like "lucky i was broke then" when a guy is getting divorced twice, with no context on what or how his marriage ended up, what message does this send to the youth? Be broke just incase it doesnt work out?
Man are talking about wife(s) when as a nation we cant even fulfill the rights of one, we need to focus on the real topics here, cleaning our hearts and being good believers
And belittling nations based on a stigma is wrong, and creates disunity, not a moroccan but think that was a bit harsh, go there, spend time there, their women aren't waiting for men, the men there are real men.
Agree with a lot of the points on rights of husbands, working, providing, but we also attach this roadman approach, if this is a dawah page and a none muslim stumbles across this, theyre gonna think wow, these lot dont know whats going on, but also could think that okay we are similar. But still, unity is important.
I live in Morocco and I'm here to say, Moroccan people aren't waiting for a WesternMuslim to save them by marrying them. In fact, most cases the ones I've met or know of that married someone from the west doesn't practice outwardly. So basically, they want the total Western lifestyle.
Subhan’Allah- it’s nice to come across a brother with similar thinking. I’ve been saying this for a long time to a few lads of mine that want 2nd wives, when there isn’t even stability with their first one. I think this desire is an illness. Living in the west and with how finances and the environment works here, multiple marriages is extremely difficult - but this desire isn’t being pursued for the correct reasons. Men that want 2nd wives are doing it completely from a sexual and shallow perspective, which shows they are still eyeing women and haven’t matured in their purpose here. One who is living for his purpose knowing that life is temporary is not going to be fixated upon sexualising pretty vessels, this is a sickness and stems from ignorance of purpose. But I mean being ‘in the west’ and living amongst kuffar, it’s hardly a surprise.
Women wanting complete freedom and similar to men lifestyles in that they want to dress how they want, go where they want, are arrogant and are pursuing careers - don’t marry such women. It’s as simple as that. There’s no point complaining about such women as they have to learn the hard way, once they’re older and realise why no decent man wants to marry them, they can either change or fall further into their illusions.
But men really need to think larger than just their private parts.
I think the largest problem today is arrogance, ego and ignorance. People are very uneducated about Islam and are full of ego and arrogance, and that really isn’t helping the state in the West. I know of practicing people that inhibit such bizarre levels of ego and arrogance, it’s really quite ironic.
Thankyou for your comment. This is a disease of the heart these days. The way these men are speaking to these women also is so disrespectful as if every woman is Now a "man hating feminist".. This is not the case! They are muslim sisters! They should have some respect and lower their gaze and stop show boating and talking complete waffle! There is too much disrespect from Mahdi and Ali and the other bald headed road man directed at these sisters and they have no right to speak to them in the way they are!! It is appalling to watch. Mahdi brags about the low down way he treats his wives.
the ummah has left its scholars and now the uneducated, uncultured Islamically, have taken over. Always learn Islam from those who have a high level of knowledge and good character, May Allah guide us to his pleasure.
Totally agree, this conversation has no spine. It's just people giving their point of view.
Brothers should make decisions based on the Qur'an and Sunnah not their own feelings and opinions.
Also, it's not just about financial aspect, but also the emotional and spiritual aspect that needs to be taken care of.
Best comment ❤
I am surprised the amount of views and jokes based on their opinions and feelings are so misleading. what they were uttering was far away from our propher teaching.
These types of conversations don't benefit anyone...I don't see any person of knowledge here
Before you hold men to account you must look in the mirrior because the peoblem today is mainly with the women
True
I enjoy helping my fiancée around the house because she does so much for me that it leaves me wanting to find ways to reciprocate and make her life easier the way she does for me and if all it takes is 20-30 minutes of cleaning the kitchen after dinner and hanging up some laundry that’s a cheap price to pay to keep the positive cycle going.
Fax cleaning the house isn't even that hard cooking is a different story tho
Bringing a child into this world is straddling the line between life and death - for both the woman and the baby. It is the greatest miracle one can see in life and it is also immeasurably painful and traumatizing. Any man who loves his wife would know this is THE moment she needs him most. I don’t care if women midwives are better able to know what they’re doing, yes of course, they’re the professionals - but my husband is my rock and I need him there beside me to share this moment. Ali, you did good by being with your wife, don’t let these fools make u feel anythin else
Remember, women give birth to children. Women don't create children and give lives.
All men should strive to emulate the Prophet PBUH and follow his sunnah. Did the prophet do this when he had his children?
This notion of husbands being present during childbirth is a very recent western concept. It's highly likely none of our ancestors did this nor did their women demand this practice.
This practice became common due to the destruction of joint families in the west.
I get that u want your husband to be there, but u know sometimes some men do not want that or they're squeamish about blood. Doesn't mean that they don't love or care for u.
@@Aamirmhmd99 the Prophet pbuh also did not drive cars, does that mean we shouldn’t drive cars? Please leave that argument to religious matters not something as simple as being a hospital room.
@@alaweeezy What is a car? It's a form of wheeled transportation. Before cars people travelled on animals and animal driven chariots, caravans, carts etc. The predecessor of cars are animal driven transport.
These kind of questions are not very bright.
The Prophet's sunnah is there to followed to your best of abilities. When it comes to matters of major importance like marriage, family, justice, war etc we must follow what the prophet did and said.
@@alaweeezy ouch
u do realize cars didnt exist but childbirth did?
what u did is called qiyaas ma3al faariq and doesnt make u look clever
To hear that brother say he would just replace his wife with a maid really shows me how men really just view us as disposable maids...really discourages me from seeking marriage..so disappointing
it was a joke
@@cerberus4958 and there's truth in every joke
@@sarahj-hc5uc I guarantee that most jokes dont have much truth in them and Mahdi (the guy who made the joke) knows a enough about Islam to know how to respect women furthermore your first comment only refers to some men so you cant say "shows me how men really just view us" because most actual men would never view their woman like that.
He doesn't show you anything about men. All he shows you is who he is. An individual. He even said he was not speaking from an Islamic perspective.
I fully understand where you’re coming from. But i have to say not all men are like that. This video made me be soooo thankful for my husband. He ensures to provide by working 2 jobs, has created me a comfortable lifestyle. I clean and cook. If i’m falling behind he comes and helps me out. Amazing men do exist! Don’t let certain guy’s comment discourage you to build your beautiful family.
Edit: spelling
Reading the comments I have, it is great to see people recognise that marriage is a partnership, a collaboration. We are micro-managing here and most of what's being said sounds very tit for tat -- e.g. if I work, you do 100% of the house work or I will only contribute towards the house IF you do this...what is this? Where there is mutual respect and compassion?? you'll, without any complaint, will contribute for the sake of your partners relief. The best way to judge someone is how they behave when you can't benefit them in any way.
So many of these men view marriage as:
Marry
Have a wife to be intimate with
Have many children
Food served & clean house
Financial control
Wife is a housedecor/robot whos only there for your needs or to raise your children
Like women are only there to please you and dont have a life, feelings and friends. And putting mehdi in this podcast is absolutely disguisting as someone who has admitted to abusing both of his wives and can’t see his eldest child because he abused the child too. Is this someone we want men to listen to and take advice from?
Wake up the Muslim women
Be careful Muslim sister who your going to married
@@Melakii_1you are just strawmanning Muslim men because they expect the wife to do majority of the household chores, no normal person is calling the wife a robot maid.
Most divorced women I have spoken to have told me the main reason their marriage ended was because they were doing everything while their husbands did nothing. They were fed up of being treated like a maid
their husbands did nothing?You mean even work and pay the bills?
@@hursheragamreddy3148 we can all have a 9 to 5 job. As a matter fact a lof of sister have that and are living their best life. After work the sister help their mother and do houschores wit ease. So after his 9 till 5 he could help his wife when needed. Especially when she is pregnant, sick or tired. If you can't expect help from your partner, why would you even get married and have children. It takes a village to raise children, in the west every houshold is seperate/individualistic. Is not the same as back home. There is no support from family, the don't live closeby. That's why a good partner/husband is crucial.
If a wife does not work outside home, she can do most of the house work. The problem is when kids are very young (0 to 10 years old), they need constant attention. This is the most difficult part of being a house wife not cooking, cleaning, etc. Fathers definitely need to have more share in child raring. My father when he came home at the end of a work day, work was over for him. He just sat in front of the TV reading his news papers. He never cared to talk to us. As a result, I have a very week bond with my father. I respect him. I can't really say I love him because we have no personal relationship. He took good care of us. He spent for us. He worked for us. He never cheated my mom. He never disgraced the family in any way. But that was not enough. Dear fathers, if you will do one thing at home, be it talking to your kids and spending time with them. Your wives work around the clock, you too just do the same thing. When you come home, spend time with your kids. This will take a lot of burden from the shoulder of your wife. It will definitely be counted as a contribution towards housework and you will also be bonded to your child.
@Wrestling • Judo MS but it actually isn’t children need both parents.
@Wrestling • Judo MS it’s not being ungrateful, it’s the bare minimum for a father. If you think she’s being grateful, then you’ve already failed
@Wrestling • Judo MS you didn’t understand. In order to build respectable homes with children who are fully capable and understanding of their positions and their responsibilities in society and their Deen, fathers NEED to have a relationship with their children. They need to bond with them and model the behaviors they want their children to have. Otherwise they are only providing the financial and not the social.
@Wrestling • Judo MS It is not. I never felt loved.
@@heavenlymilano Stop thinking with your feelings. It's not all about your feelings.
Gender roles are clear. What we forget in these kind of debates is we talk about rights and obligations. As a Muslim we should push for Ehsaan. Because that's the next level.
If a husband willingly helps around the house may Allah accept him going out of his way to make his family comfortable. Similarly if a wife can help ease husband's financial burden then she should do it if she can. This is the attitude of a Mohsin. We should aspire to be that rather than doing the bare minimum in rights and obligations.
"We should aspire to be that rather than doing the bare minimum in rights and obligations."
Love you for this. You are entirely right. At the end of the day we are faulty humans who have bad and good days. We always should pick each other up, moreso in a marriage.
I 100% agree with the fact that there are gender roles. But let’s not compare the wife contributing financially with the husband helping with cooking/cleaning/other chores. A husband islamically should help around in his free time if both the wife and husband have had a lot to do that day. However there is no encouraging in any shape or form that the wife should help her husband financially if she has a reasonable income. IF she chooses to do so however may Allah bless her. The difference here is that one is encouraged and one is not necessarily encouraged.
Btw im not saying that the wife shouldnt contribute financially. Just highligjting the difference.
👏👏👏 very well put Masha Allah
@Tayyaba12345 I think you’re the only one with brains. The western norms have rubbed off too much on these Muslims, you can see it in their foreign Aqeedah and lack of authentic Islam in their Adhab. These are the same people wanting to discuss ‘modern Islamic’ issues but watch hours and hours of Netflix or scrolling through social media while knowing how much poison it is for their hearts, minds and souls - which reflects massively in these attitudes they have cultivated. 2 people living for the sake of their Purpose of pleasing Allah and cultivating peace aren’t going to be demanding unrealistic western kuffar expectations in a union or marriage that was done for ‘the sake of Allah.’ Let’s be real, most people DONT get married for the genuine purpose of getting closer to Allah. Let’s not beat around the bush, most modern western Muslims can’t wait to start having sex and have a fairy tale illusion based on Netflix and social media on what marriage is truly about. Every friend of mine that got married truly for the sake of settling in their purpose is happily married today. Any person that married for sex, looks or on the whim of ‘I just wanna be married’ have ended in biter divorces.
Ali dawah is such a genius, to talk about marriage in Islam he doesn't bring scholars but rather brings divorced men and domestic abusers XD
Lmaooooooooo
That is more realistic and practical...scholars give laws and rules and ideal situations. But these young people talk in practical sense and daily cases, and what they feel. They dont give fatwaa but talk what is on people's mind in reality. That helps ppl form an opinion. Whoever is a good Muslim, will remain within shariah.
Exactly!!
@@abyzayd2020 well in that case you should take advice from people who have had a successful marriage at least not the ones who failed because of their sheer ignorance. Besides, what makes you think scholars have no practical experience?, in fact they have more since they usually advice and meet a lot of people with different backgrounds, situations and problems, and most of the time scholars are married as well.
You sound desperate bro.
@@primeminister1040 why do u make it personal? I sound desparate? How do u know that? Dont use ur emotions.
Nobody said, dont ask scholars or their opinions dont count. Why cant we have conversations among each other and should always be with a scholar? As I said before, scholars talk formal language and formal cases and general advices. Young ppl exchanges their experiences and feelings feels more natural and ppl get connected easier. Not every conversation should be about fatwaa and rules. Besides, if u only invited successful ppl, then it will give a wrong image of the reality. Nice ppl talking nice things and give advices that will not work for many others. It is a matter of personality and difference in character.
Guys trust me i swear, helping your Wife, Sister or your mother in the kitchen or anything, dont be ashamed to help them, just asking if they need help or trying to help them, makes them Respect you even more, Help your wife, Sister or mother guys there is nothing to be ashamed of.
I grew up in an environment where I had to do chores. My mom gave me chores and I fulfilled them. Today I am able to do it
if you do it they will like you more. but that doesnt matter cuz i aint living for my sister to like me
As a rule I think there should be a student of knowledge to clarify issues and things regarding Islamic law and rulings etc. Because without quran and sunnah its just withering ideas and opinions.
Definitely. I mentioned it before. Otherwise we are throwing the sunnah and fiqh behind our back and deciding fiqh ourselves.? It is borderline Kufr.
Facts but I don’t think a student of knowledge would want to be involved in this.
A righteous student of knowledge would not want to involved in this latest degeneracy.
This podcast is too 💊
Agreed
Brother Ali I had so much respect for you and your dawah but I’m disappointed you gave a person like mahdi a platform to speak on these topics when he holds an abusive and misogynistic record. May Allah guide us all to the straight path Ameen
Honestly it's disgusting people even give him the time of day
I also feel disappointed. Like as if his stand point or opinion matters? He only brings fitna to the muslims.
SubhanAllah this makes me so sad
@@191seema its sad man these guys are giving us muslims such a bad name in the name of dawah too i expeted better from ali dawah man.
keep on hating, lol, what mysoginistic points did mahdi make? so its offensive when mahdi claims to not do the dishes , even after working 40 hrs a week but somehow its empowering when a woman neglects her household duties. wow , trash like you are the reason why men get bashed whenever they have an opinion, and get slammed as mysoginists whenever they raise their voice.
How is bringing home a salary equivalent to a woman giving up part of her beauty and putting her health and life at risk to birth your kids, breastfeed them, cook, clean raise them, take care of herself and still offer herself to you? 💀
And since when has marriage become a competition of who does more or less??
they are also her kids, and since she's gonna be have so much to do why add up work to it?
say it louder for the people in the back!!!📢📢
@@SPDRM this video is literal proof of how its the men that have messed up thinking. its a cultural mindset not islamic.
@@SPDRM no one made it a competition other than men.. have u not watched the video
@@SPDRM it is not a competition i dont think i need to explain the definition of marriage..
You men were BORN from the suffering pain and blood of a woman, so how dare you ever disrespect any female in your life?
Where's your humility & gratitude?
God commands men to be responsible for all wife's expenses. She is allowed to work & keep all her money herself. Why?
If you had to go outside services to
pay for sex,
pay for pregnancy,
pay for breastfeeding your child,
pay for cooking,
pay for cleaning ...
all that adds up to more than your salary if you had to pay an outsider for this. Your wife does all this for FREE, yet you're ungrateful to her??
You can't repay your mother or your wife for all the good she has done for you. The best men are those who are best to their mother, sister, wife, and daughter.
Bruv if I need to cook clean than okay I will do it myself I do not need wife for that. If I want s3x sure that always can be find no problem
i am born from my father. My mother only received me. thats just the truth not being mean but this is it. my father is the closest to me wheter its physicaly or mentally. not my mother
When i gave birth to my 5th Child, my Husband may Allah reward him, he did everything, watch after the older Kids, clean , i just cooked and afterwards he did the dishes, we dont have any family near us, so there was no other way. Normaly i would never want my working husband to do house chores.
Exactly. Your situation is an exception. May Allah reward your husband.
Allahumma barik. It's great that your husband helps you out of his own will. May Allah reward him.
But it gets problematic when the feminists who believe they got ZERO responsibility for anything, turn it into an obligation on husband's part by misquoting hadiths out of context.
This is a violation of the rights given by Allah.
Well done for not wanting your husband to do house chores. You are in your feminine and you will succeed in thjs manner. Husband and wife should stick to their biological natural roles.
Me and my wife do the same. Whenever she gives birth I have to step up and take care of my family and that includes washing dishes, cooking, vacuuming and taking my older kids to bed.
@@JH-lf4ql yes it is exactly that and my wife loves my masculinity and I love her femininity. And my other wives will be the same insha'Allah no bs feminism just feminine
The most sad thing I came across the internet was a young Muslim man calling a sheikh a simp because he said the truth about how Islam told us to relate with our wife. And Muslim young boys accepting when a man cheats it’s not cheating and a woman cheats is cheating 😭no wonder the prophet cried for this ummah. Love each other with no limit respect ur spouse do what makes each other happy❤️😭am saying this Wallahi while crying because the things happening is scary Wallahi😭😭
My father works 44 hrs a week and he still cooks, cleans , do laundry and tutor my siblings and I. He doesn't complain at all. He taught us how to clean in certain way and what ingredients to use for cooking. At the same time make sure we did not fail at school.
Sister with all due respect what does your mother do the if your father Handles everything, sit an look pretty. Allah has set the roles what your father is doing is asinine to me. Please educate me if you believe otherwise.
Sister if your father is doing all of that then you, your sister and your mother are useless
@@mirror8240 Your stupidity is higher than my account balance just like those clowns n the vid 🥶
He's a REAL man 🔥
@Mirror she does everything around the house and taking care, managing the household. She took care of my sibling and I. She doesn't like anyone to disturb her while cooking or cleaning that's when my dad help. And she's working too.
You guys are making something so simple into really complicated. A husband and a wife are a team who has eachother's back's.
So also both should pay the bills then? Their a team right
@@Biekoea husband and wife can have teamwork by doing their rightful duties. They don’t have to do the same duties as one another. The man should go out to work and the women should stay home taking care of the house. The women should not have expectations of her husband helping her with the housework. But if the man wants to help then that’s his choice. In regards to raising children it’s both of their duty.
@@gga6385 i agree
exactly
@@Biekoe so men should give birth and breastfeed and childrear
It's really simple, when husbands and wives destroy the 'I' in the household/marriage then you'll no longer act on self-interest but for each other.
The individualist mindset destroys any relationship.
True
Good point, although some me-time is healthy and necessary. But yes, marriage/relationship is about "us", not "I" and "I".
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
True😮😮😮😮
It is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam.
It is not obligatory for a man to help around the house
Successful marriage = Respecting each other + Understanding each other + Love + Trusting each other .
And women taking care of the home. Ie. Cooking and cleaning if the man pays all the living expenses
That does not pay the bill and put food on the table, nor does it provide security and stability for the whole family. And if you can't do that much nowadays, regardless of how much you love, trust and understand each other, as man you can't keep a wife in the long run.
Same goes for women if you don't cook, clean, look after kids and willingly submit you won't keep a husband in the long run unless he is a simp or a cuck.
In fact, everything you said in your comment is true but that is not enough to make a relationship work in reality.
@@mk-ld8ih this might be true. but it doesnt mean the man has to be a pig and have the wife go after his every step cleaning after him. Most house-wives gladly do the necessary chores on their own perfectly but when the man doesn't respect his partner by continuing to make her job harder again and again he is still violating the factors for the successful marriage like the og comment said. She married a Man not a Child. it will be the same as the woman taking and spending the "living expenses" on her own and making the husband's job harder, worsening his mood and not showing any respect towards him.
It’s really sad when a wife says if you need housework done you should hire a maid. It shows how little she cares about her marriage. Very sad!
it is obligatory for a woman to take care of her husband's house, and serve her husband and his children in Islam.
A good marriage is hard work. But striving for mutual respect and understanding, caring for each other, and working together through life’s joys and difficulties are all important parts of a successful partnership. collected 👏👏👏
Marriage is not a partnership, it is a exchange of values. She exchanges the right to her body and servitude in exchange for your promise of taking care of her financial educational psychological needs for now and the future. Partnership implies a equalitarin Liberal anything goes relationship which always leads in divorce because everyone is lost.
@@FearNoneButAllah wth why you start off with exchanging her body ?!!!
@@SalmaAhmed-xn8jh Yes that was crass
Marriage is not a partnership. Partnership is when you are equal partner. Men and women are not equal partner in Islam. Husband is the head of the house, he provides and protects. The wife obeys. We have this term "marriage is a partnership and understand and mutual respect" only in comment sections where men speak on their rights from their wives.
@@93boxing81 why is it that when we hear women speak, they’re always trying to get out of something?
These men are a shining example of why it is important for women to join the workforce - to call men out on their bullshit when they make it seem like their work is a lot harder than taking care of a home or that they're doing something women can't. Also, her money is her money. There needs to be an acknowledgement that if she is contributing to the household, thats a charity on her part.
so does that mean you want your husband to pay all bills and do half of the chores whereas you only do the other half of chores when there are no kids
@@hursheragamreddy3148 not necessarily. Every couple should do what makes sense for them. Islam is not 50/50. I just don’t appreciate when men over-exaggerate how tough their jobs are because unless they’re in the military or doing something that requires physical strength a woman could easily do it too
@@taheera986 maybe that's the rason why these men don't want to help is household.They might have a feeling that they should anyways pay the bills and she doesn't need to so why should they help in household
@@hursheragamreddy3148 which is problematic. The Prophet SAW always helped with house chores
@@hursheragamreddy3148 Maintaining their womenfolk is a direct command from Allah SWT to men. That's why the husband gets the authority and leadership of a household. Of course if only the husband is working, it wouldn't be fair for him to come home and do all the chores as well. But, if both men and women are working because of their economic situation or because that's what they want, they should share the chores so that it's fair. Also, women are entitled to develop themselves through their careers if they wish, as long as it doesn't interfere with their obligations. I think they should because a) women's contribution to society is equal to men's and b) it would force the men to level up too since they have to show leadership in other ways than just being the breadwinner.
In my unimportant opinion, I think it’s about empathy and conversation, if a couple really love and care each other, they will just work it out.
The problem is the men are always expected to be emphatic towards the wife but the wife is never expected to reciprocate the same energy
Love and compassion comes after the basics. The basics are step 1 to stick to your natural biological disposition of husband and wife natural roles. Everyone knows what they are. Get in touch with your nature and stop following what people tell u to do. Men are leaders and women are submissive. Anything else leads in disaster for both.
I would say if the couple really loves and cares for Allah they'll work it out.
@@BruvahSulaiman its literally a sunnah to help wife with household chores. Meaning both parties do it. I dont understand why theres even a debate about it.
@@moronweakes1520because they arent talking about sunnah, nor is anyone denying that helping your wife or any other human can earn good deeds. I would love to explain to you but you seem to have totally lost the message of this video.
Married for 15 yrs, stay at home mom and deals with housework,cooking, kids,school and shopping. My husband works 7 days a week and I’m usually exhausted when he comes home. He’s exhausted as well but it helps so much when my husband does help like dealing with the kids at least. It helps when both are happy with each other and understand when we are exhausted, its teamwork and we shouldn’t be thinking oh I do this you suppose to do this it’s more being there for each other. I don’t expect my husband to clean and do things but it is nice when he takes his dish to the sink and make his coffee in the morning even tho I still do that, but sometimes woman have their days when it’s been so exhausting.
So your work is 24/7 ,
The wife or the baby could die during labor. Unless you are at war there is no reason to not be in the same building at minimum while she is giving birth. If you are far away you should be on your way to whatever location she is giving birth.
My opinion.
I don't understand why is this even mentioned here? Shouldn't we always be there for the person we love, does she mean nothing but a wife in contract?
@@night5516 yeah this guy is too much
@@Almay20 As a man who is very traditional, this point of his is completely ridiculous, I will definitely be there when my wife is giving birth to our baby, she needs her husband to be there with her no doubt.
Definitely. This guy support temporary marriages… not sure why Ali brought him on?!
@@Almay20 Temporary marriages are literally haram by consensus, don't ever be fooled by some brothers who may seem religious on the outside who try to use you like this, may Allah protect us and our women.
As a Muslim man with an licensed Architect Muslim wife... you can be sure I'm doing the dishes!! Working moms are the hardest working people on the planet!
I’m dead at Ali counting down (20,15,10,5) over the sister but letting the manchild waffle on for ages.
Whys he a man child?
Not even 4channers would want this “dude”
@@vortexlight8387 he’s extremely immature and not ready for an adult conversation like this. He repeatedly talks about his wife like she’s his opposition rather than a life partner, he treats marriage like he’s collecting tokens rather than supporting human beings, he’s been giggling with the purple too guy most of the talk and seems to be completely incapable of cleaning up after himself. He thinks child birth is disgusting and he has gone back to sleep after his wife went into labour.
The list goes on. This is the definition of a manchild.
definitely a man child
@@Twilight.xchange you talking about Ali or mahdi?
If you want to have a beautiful peaceful joyful marriage life so both of them should help each other in every step of life ! Wife isn’t a maid and husband isn’t a slave ! Both of them should do their best to make a beautiful relationship by help and mercy of Allah SWT !
If only every man thought like you
Lol na if mens roles are clear cut then women roles should be clear cut. If a woman can say she is entitled to be provided and protected for, then he is entitled to have an obedient wife who cooks and cleans.
Simple as that
You're describing a slave lmao, may Allah protect all Muslim women from your filthy mentality.
@@souada.1196 So is a man a slave for going out there working hard and fulfilling his Islamic duties? Is he a human shield when he has to put his life on the line to save her?
Typical brainwashed feminist.
“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” ~ Martin Luther👌🏘
Didn’t Martin Luther cheat on his wife
@@Blueeclipse. Even so, it’s a good quote
@@Blueeclipse. LMFAO
We have thousands of hadith from the Prophet SAW yet here you are quoting somebody else.
@@Blueeclipse. 😂😂
Nowadays, there's a dishwasher, robot vacuum cleaner, and washing machine. Why would they discuss it? I'm married for 20 years, and my husband didn't cook for us even once. But he invites me out to the restaurant twice a week. It's all agreement between two.
👏👏
No, as a muslim woman, men do not have to cook and clean. Naturally men may volunteer to do it, if you are someone who does not look lazy and does not delegate responsibility and respectful. More you do for someone, the more the other wants to do for you.
My husband pushes me aside to do dishes and snatches hoover from my hand because I very good to him, let him lead and respectful and dutiful alhamdullah, I go the extra mile, make biryanis, niharis, go help his sisters and his cousins in paperwork and show his family respect, I live within his budget and try not cuss him from of the children and I am quick to say sorry and thank him little things alhamdullah. We cannot behave like boss babes...and expect respect and love back
Allahumma Barik
May Allah protect us from the feminists who believe they have zero responsibility for anything
May Allah reward you with aljannatul firdous
Your theory works on some couples but not on all
I respect your choice sister. I as a man would like to help my wife from time to times!
May Allah protect innocent Balochistan family😔
As a Christian I love how Muslims are still traditional. In truth, most Christians are starving for the lifestyle of our ancestors, we just don’t always know how to achieve it in the modern world.
The problem is secularism; when you remove God's laws from societies then men have to make up their own laws. And what ever laws men make will be unbalanced.
Welcome to read and do reserch about Islam... Inshaallah."God willing"
It’s EASY to achieve that in the modern world - just accept Islam and become a Muslim! Islam is the natural progression to Christianity because the message is from The Same One God. Christian scholars of the past changed and tainted the original message that God sent through Jesus Christ (PBUH) and so the essence was lost.
This is why God sent down the Qur’an in the form of recitations so that the original message of Jesus (PBUH) can be carried on through Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). The Qur’an today is the same exact Qur’an that was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and not a single letter has been changed. In the Qur’an it says that generations after Jesus (PBUH) changed the message Allah SWT sent to Jesus (PBUH) but the message He sends to Muhammad (PBUH) will never be changed and God, Himself, will protect and preserve it!
Today, over 1,445 years later, the message is EXACTLY as it was sent down through The Angel Gabriel (PBUH) to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). This is one of many miracles of the Qur’an.
Become a Muslim and follow Jesus (PBUH) the way Jesus (PBUH) wanted his followers to follow him.
May Allah SWT open your eyes to the truth and guide you! Ameen. ❤
@@JH-lf4ql good luck with that
@@JH-lf4ql how do i become atheist
I visited shiekh Abdul Quyum Imam of The East London Mosque. I knocked on his door. He opened the door while holding a hoover on his hands. He was hoovering.
Muhammad (PBUH) would take on chores in his house according to various scholars.
Husband and wife should pray together.
The Prophet (PBUH) said: “The best people from among you are those who are best to their wives.” (At-Tirmidhi)
@balakliya oblast She takes care of the children, raises them well with education and manners, protects the wealth, and also provides physical and mental support to her husband.
@balakliya oblast Aisha, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), was asked, “What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family (كَانَ يَكُونُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ) and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari)
The word used in the hadith is mihnah (مِهْنَة), which is translated as ‘busy serving’ here, also means in the Arabic language ‘work’, ‘job’, ‘profession’, etc. This implies helping your wife in the house is a full time job as well. Whether it’s helping wash the dishes, cooking, cleaning, raising the kids, etc., is all part and parcel of being the ‘man’ of the house. The notion that it is somehow degrading for men to help and work with the wife around the house is foreign to Islam.
@balakliya oblast In another report Aisha is reported to have said, “He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.” (Adab Al-Mufrad graded sahih by Al-Albani)
In yet another report it is said that she said, “He milked his goat.” (Ahmad)
@balakliya oblast “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Tirmidhi; Ibn Majah)
But prophet also say majority of hell dewelers are women and they are ungrateful to their husband and also prophet say women in minority in heaven and Allah say in surah AN NISAH AYAH 4:32 beat women if they dont obey you i've send you hadiths and verses.
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He replied, "They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, 'I have never received any good from you."
Imran b. Husain reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:
Amongst the inmates of Paradise the women would form a minority.
(4:34) Men are the protec-tors and maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them excel over the other,57 and because they spend out of their possessions (to support them). Thus righteous women are obedient and guard the rights of men in their absence under Allah's protection.58 As for women of whom you fear rebellion, admonish them, and remain apart from them in beds, and beat them.59 Then if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them. Allah is Exalted, Great.
As chef for 30 years who loves to cook I have also teach my wife how to cook when she didn’t know, also when she was pregnant with my kids I did all the cooking, shopping, school which made her life much easier, I’m sorry but these guys are using 1800 methods to justify their toxic behaviour by treating their wife’s like a second class citizen smh
I am not married but i have seen my friend's husband, how he helps her wife, how he cares for her children after coming back from a 12 hours' job, how he cares for her parents.. (MashAllah MashAllah.. May Allah protect their relation from evil eyes). He even do massage of her foot to alleviate her tiredness before going on bed, also change nappies of her babbies.In return, my friend cooks delicious foods for him, cares for his father, regularly visits his close relatives in a weak, also try to manage all the works of home that should be done by man like renovation of home, Buying some daily-used food products (Because of hectic routine of her husband) ... So guys i want to say that it is a very beautiful relation if you put your arrogance aside...Give respect take respect give love take love...
Allahumma barak lahum. May Allah protect your friend (from unintentional envy from your part). Also, you only see the good parts, no one shares their arguments
@@lipsme1673 What do you mean by unintentional envy??? All the things that i have written here about him have been told by my friend herself.. I am not here to exaggerate the things. Secondly, you said about their arguments then yes they have some differences that i have not mentioned here but they are nothing if you have good understanding and alhumdulillah they are doing well in this regard..🙏..
How he cares for “her” children? Not sure if you did this unintentionally but they are his children just as much as hers 🤣
@@StriveforJannah2 Why are you all girls getting so offended here??🙏🤣... Is it not enough that he goes out and works for whole day so he can give a better life to his Children and her wife...I am nit the one who is admiring him.. His own wife, his sister-in-laws and Mother-in-law all say that he is a wonderful man..Respect it if is so much caring for his family..But you are taking it personally.. 🙏💔...
@@MUHAMMADASLAM-bt7df I agree.
You should help your wife if you have time because prophet Muhammed set an example-he washed the plates after eating.
My brother in law is very lazy, he'll go to work and return to bed. My sister serves his food in bed, she also cooks for his 2 adult brothers and cares for her kids. But her husband doesn't help, she buys the grocerys from her own money.
I believe husbands should help if they have time.
this is extremely wrong... i am a male and is 13 years old(muslim) and think that men should be treating their wives with respect. It does not matter if your wife does not contribute as much, the man should treat her with respect, maybe she is having a hard time, but even if you work for the whole day and come back tired, and your wife has not cleaned for whatever reasons, you should work even harder to make her and your kids happy.
exception to if your wife is just using you(astagfiruallah inshallah this never happens to anyone)
bruv your too young to have a valid opinion in this case with all due respect, asalamalekikum
@@TheProfessionalThinker wa aleykum assalam, yeah ik, so why is a 13 year olds boy's opinion better than these more experienced men?
Also the prophet muhammad SAW took childrens advice as well and even sent a teenager to lead an important mission with an army of 3,000 strong
@@sunuy192 with all due respect, a teenager of this day and age is nowhere near the same or calliber of the teenagers of the past.
@@SM-ly5tf I agree with that, but I have confidence in myself and inshallah a high iman, and a powerful brain so I believe I should be able to have an opinion
Lol you're a child, be quiet and log off UA-cam
Been married 8 years, husband and I hope each other all around.
Cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills.
A lot of empathy is needed in marriage. It’s def not black and white.
Allahuma barik, sister. These children are just insecure
Disclaimer: these guys don't speak for us Muslim men AT ALL.
They are right it's not duty of a man to pay medical bills according to Islam...
@@IndianBoy-tv2fe they speak so much nonsense I didn't even get to that part
@@zalyworld1904 They are right if wife don't wanna provide anything for family why would a man marry woman just for having sex and making babies ?So don't get mad when anyone says women are baby making machines because that's what most Muslim women now days want to do they don't want to anything else........
Yes they did. They speak what every men deep inside think.
@@mmr1137 ok 😅
These men on here 😮. Ya Allah I am forever grateful for the way my father treated me and my mother and the way my husband continues to treat me from my fathers standards. Both my parents worked, my father lived away for work and came home on weekends and when he came. He helped my mum with chores and looked after us children. My parents are now retired. But it doesn’t mean my dad just sits and does nothing while my mum still does her “duties” my dad helps in the house, he cooks he cleans he does everything my mum does : they work as a team. And allahuma Barik, that’s marriage. Is to be a team.
I pray for women who come across and marry men with the views of the young men in the video, in life. May Allah soften their hearts. Ameen
Lol "they work as a team" - as in a man has to do a woman's duties as well. What part of the man's duties is your mom doing?
Well they both retired. So they both look after the house. They both worked. Because they both had to financially, they couldn’t live off one salary. But my dad didn’t just come home from work and demand food to be made for him. If my mum cooked, my dad took care of us. Vice versa.
@@lailashesandskin2972 Sure, but the part you're missing is that your mom also worked. If your mom works of course your dad should help around the house.
But if your mom didn't work and your dad supported the family financially, it's fair to assume your mom would do all the housework/cooking.
Fair?
Yes of course.
May Allah grant us good spouses, and may Allah guide us, protect us, and show Mercy on us, Ameen.
Ameen ❤ Ameen
allahumma ameen
Ameen and grant our children good pious partners with takwah Ameen
SubhanaAllah, this is what the ummah has come to. Ignorant men who have strayed away from the Quran and sunnah. This right here brothers and sisters, is why we will continue to see a decline in marriage within our ummah. May Allah guide these brothers and sisters. SubhanaAllah.
This is absolutely disgusting why are they acting like they will be doing us a favor if they marry us i would rather stay single than marry a man with this sick mindset its not about feminism its about marriage is about sharing you cant just expect your wife to do every single thing if she isnt tired you also live in that house which means you should help around without her asking without her being tired and all that its just basic human decency and the dude saying most women want to be “put in their place” like what? This is absolutely sick fix your mindsets please marriage is not about a woman serving you its about sharing and love
It's ok sister, inshallah you won't end up with a mama's boy. Pray to Allah. And tip, if you ever need to dodge one, just ask him what he thinks of that one hadith they discuss here.
Also, don't fall for the pseudo-religious type, with the misbaha in hand in public and prayer callouses. Just things that I watch out for
That story of Mahdi going to bed whilst his wife is going into labour is wild, even with the context.
I can't imagine the heartbreak his wife must have felt at that time. If a spouse is that insensitive, that marriage should end.
He's a tate wanna be, acts alpha and is disrespectful to women... his Contexts don't even make sense and alot of what he says isn't even in the sunnah
The guys weird. He brags about having many wives yet he’s divorced twice.
He’s telling non Muslims women about his No strings attached nikkah contacts ( sex only)
He finds desperate women marrys them yet he doesn’t provide for them.
Search’s to degrade women constantly guys shady AF
@@uok6216 exactly 💯 is he shia or what 🤣
@@piqueny8872 What you have done right now is called backbiting. You are making claims with absolutely zero proof. Do you have proof? When you make a claim, it's on you to provide proof.
Ali, with all due respect im ashamed with some of these viewpoints as men. They're not following what is written.
We need actual scholars speaking that can educate the people at home, as well as have these discussions. Especially because it involves marriage UNDER Islam.
Men are to treat their women with respect and dignity. I can't really get behind some of what these men are sometimes uttering. They are fools, and do not help anyone.
Very true!!!!!
Bro it is simple, If the husband wants to help, Than that's a sunnah and he will be rewarded for it, If he doesn't he won't be punished because that is not his role
Yessss!!!! Ali should’ve known better and must do better. This is so embarrassing
Say what you want, If the wife is not willing to do the housework, A good man will simple say no to that marriage
Exactly! This episode has done nothing but scared women of Muslim men. My non-Muslim and Muslim friends were terrified of marriage after hearing some of the most merciless opinions in this episode. It has done nothing but further damage to the image of Islam and Muslims. I hope he removes it before any other non-Muslims can watch it, because it's guaranteed to drive them further away from Islam.
muslim men in the 8th century: masters of theology, philosophy, mathematics and art
muslim men now:
Honestly I'm disappointed in Ali for even bringing them to this and letting them make some the "jokes" and brushing it under the carpet. It makes me feel scared to even get married in the future.
@@tahiya450 indeed it’s disappointing. It isn’t like him :( but isA you’ll get married to a pious loving spouse ^^
muslim men now: working full time in their domains
muslim girls now: cant even cook
As a revert, it hurts me how these boys disrespect ladies …
How do they disrespect ladies? You mind to elaborate
Yeh and the fact this video is still up is sad.
It is sad how women become lazy nowdays. Earlier women work at the field same amount of hours as a men but they still cook, clean and taking care about kids. And they never said they are tired. When I heard women say I am tired, bruv you know fine get rest, rest and sleep whole your life just far away from me.
The prophet pbuh helped his wife's around the house. Iv been married 13 years allhumdiallah. 4 beutifal kids. When I'm not at work I happily help around the house cookin or cleaning. Remember husband n wife is a team! An brings you both closer together when u do things together
I’m on my first and only marriage of 25 years and 4 kids and I do absolutely nothing at home but work outside as much as needed to provide for the household. The personalities we have as individuals dictate this setup and it works perfect for us. Different people may have different setups. See what works for you within the bounds of our deen.
My brothers. Don't treat marriage like a petty back and forth. This removes the incentive to do good by each other. We will all return to Allah and Allah is the Best Judge of our affairs. RasoolAllah S.A.W was a role model and he did house chores. We need to make life easy for each other and be easy going on each other so that we can both help each other enter jannah. So do more than you should, both as a husband and wife, and seek your reward from your Lord.
🎉 Very interesting debate. As a married Muslim man I don't see anything wrong for a man to help his wife at home when she's unwell or going through pregnancy.
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. would also do housework and wash his own clothes without troubling his wives. Even when his patience was tried, he was never unkind in his words or deeds.
@Cooler The Tyrant Right, they always forget this
@Cooler The Tyrant do you follow the sunna because of how your wife acts or because it is your Deen? You are the husband brother, lead by example and follow the sunna of the messenger S
@Cooler The Tyrant some of the wives did act ungrateful to him, and Allah swt gave him permission to divorce them. The prophet then offered a divorce to the wives who were ungrateful to him, and they rejected the offer divorce
How do you know to what extent he did those things?
@NajashiTV if you read up on the character, behaviour, and the interactions, of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, then you will get a general idea to what extent he would help his household in its domestic tasks.
The Propeht Muhammad was known for being a leading, trustworthy, helpful, charitable, dutiful, proactive, tidy, wellkept, and upstanding man with morals and principles. If he was at home and had spare time, and his home required housekeeping, he would have definitely participated in those housekeeping tasks. To suggest he would have sat back and lazed around whilst his wife was doing the housekeeping duties on her own is dumbfounding.
The people of knowledge who have studied the seerah of the Prophet will tell you exactly what I have told you here.
The narrative of getting back from work and not lifting a finger to help your family in domestic housekeeping duties is backwards and wrong. As men, our duty to our family is never finished. Working and paying for the general upkeeping of a household is only one part of the duties a man has to his family. We are the leaders of our families and leaders lead and teach by example.
May Allah save all women from men who have such a close-minded view of what a man should do to help his family.
If I’m a housewife then I’ll completely do the housework and chores, but I will expect 50/50 with the kids. After cooking if I need to do dishes or anything else I will expect my husband to watch and entertain the kids while I do. Over the weekends same thing. He’ll do the garden, take out the trash and play with the kids while I do the house chores. That’s a partnership and I’ve seen it work for multiple Muslim couples.
100%, most wives don't actually have a problem with household chores or serving her husband.. its usually rooted from him not spending time with their children.. we don't have children to do it by ourselves, we find happiness in seeing our husbands spend time with our children and us alhamdulillah
You will be a perfect wife 👰. Finally, someone with sense
Kids 100%agreed on time with kids
Honestly I think a woman should always be financially independent to avoid control and abuse from your husband. Marriage should involve teamwork and supporting each other.
Not everyone provider is a controlling abuser. Very very negative mindset.
Who is the one when everything goes wrong, pulls the family out of that situation.. if we follow Islam, that's all we need to do inshaaAllah we each are different and bring different benefits to eachother in marriage alhamdulillah
You are right, I used to think that it was okay to completely rely on your husband without a backup plan but the reality is no one knows if they will end being in an abuse relationship so having an education is so important even if you want to be a house wife/SAHM
If you want divorce rates of 40% where 90% are initiated by women, and society is culturally corrupted, then please keep on thinking/spreading the idea that society would be better of if more financially independent women would be around. Cause you'll come to find out real fast it has the opposite of a good effect on society and women.
@@Mariam-zv9fy and let me guess you're unmarried and don't have children? Or are you a single parent raising kids?
Either is burden to society at large.
Especially single (mother) parenthood with all the problems it brings (especially for male children, but also female children).
why inviting women on the show when you’re not going to let them speak
they are not speaking lol
They had their time. This women if they are born 150 years ago would never have chance to demand anything. They coukd speak only if a men allow that.
I'm a woman, I do most of the house chores and the cooking and it doesn't bother me if my husband helps me or not, I do it because I want to and because I love taking care of my family. It shouldn't feel like a chore when you doing it for the well-being of your loved ones.
The brother on the end with the tattoos was very respectful and decisive MashaAllah. He came across as mature and sincere. May Allah give him good in his marital life, Ameen.
My hubby was like this until I collapsed and did 3 days in hospital and all the doctor asked me was rest because I was working and coming home do all, my kids homework and duties as wife to my husband in that 3 days he cried because he didn’t even know where the spoons were and now he’s helping me and tell me to rest when I’m tired by saying honey this is our house and none will tell you to do what to do if the person talk I will tell him/ her to not longer come here. He was sorry for the past 8 years he didn’t help me around the house, these men are cahotic
@🇦🇿 Abdulla pretty real one
Husband here: I never do dishes
I never cook unless its for fun and enjoyment.
My wife does everything in the house.
I do nothing but chill at home and earn money outside and fix things in the house .
ASC. Ngl, what I found really frustrating about this video was the fact that this conversation seemed to be built around personal opinions instead of grounding the conversation around what the fiqh of our religion has to say on this matter. While there is a difference of opinion on the topic, the majority of scholars seem to fall on the side of it not being the religious obligation of the wife to do the cooking and cleaning. These are the positions of the 4 Sunni major schools of thought to my knowledge:
- The Maliki madhab says it is obligatory on the wife to do the indoor tasks of the household if the custom is that women do these themselves.
- The Hanafi madhab says it is the ethical obligation of the wife but not her legal obligation and it is not enforceable if she refuses.
- The Shafi’i madhab says it is not an obligation on the wife to serve her husband in cooking, washing, etc. Moreover, Imam Shafi’i considered cooking and cleaning as part of maintenance and therefore considers it the husband’s responsibility to provide.
- The Hanbali madhab says it is not compulsory for the wife to clean the house, but it is recommended for her to do such things, because it is part of the custom of people that wives take care of the housework.
Obviously, when we discuss the division of responsibility in a marriage a good wife should contribute to her household in whatever way necessary as it is recommended that she do so but that does not make it her religious obligation. Moreover, by doing the cooking and cleaning she will be rewarded for it as an act of charity and a good husband should be willing to contribute to his household in whatever way is necessary. Ultimately, as Muslims our goal with marriage is for us to work together as spouses to please Allah (swt). So let’s please stop creating content and talking about each other in an inflammatory way that puts us in conflict with one another when we should be striving to work together.
Sources:
- islam.stackexchange.com/questions/73408/why-is-cooking-and-cleaning-not-the-duty-of-the-wife
- www.thehanbalimadhhab.com/QandA/wife-obeying-husband/
- seekersguidance.org/answers/family-ties/is-it-sinful-for-a-wife-not-to-cook-and-clean-if-she-is-a-shafii/
- musafurber.com/2018/06/26/husband-must-inform-wives-are-not-obligated-to-cook-and-clean/
- fiqh.islamonline.net/en/is-housework-only-for-wife/?amp
- www.islamweb.net/amp/en/fatwa/348295/
Edit: Added one more link. I hope you all find it beneficial inshallah.
Well said.
Spot on! Jazakallahu khair. They all speak from out of desires especially that clown Mahdi.
Probably the only useful post in the entire comment section
Mahdi may suffer from a deadly allergic reaction if he says anything positive regarding women😂 look at him struggling when he mentions both man and woman working 40hrs a week and that it’s not ‘unreasonable’ to expect help in such a case. He can’t even bring himself to say it out right.
My husband and I find him funny and entertaining with his cartoonish level misogyny. The guy is smart and knows how to capitalise on these Average Abdullahs.
Literally, one of the best comments I've read on this video 💯👏👏👏👏. The guy has HUGE misogynistic insecurities and abandonment issues that need tackling by professionals. I believe that people like that choose the poorest and weakest to marry, just so they would stay with them. The guy doesn't know that his "marriage" is so fragile. No matter how many babies he's got with his wife, if he keeps treating his wife in the same manner, it will be just a matter of time till the illusion of his "marriage" comes crumbling down.
I also used to find his cartoonish level of misogyny quite entertaining, but now I can't 😌, he has degenerated to a toxic alpha male that make me want to scream.
@@IYasmineI lol apparently he’s already been divorced twice. I think he had 3 wives at one point but his first divorced him because he hit her and their son and his second wife who was a ‘no strings nikah’ marriage deal also left him. I think only the third is left but he may have married more by now…I mean God knows with that man. It’s funny to me that the 2 most problematic brothers on that panel are twice divorced.😆
@@Falasteen7urra Wow! didn't know that. But yeah that was a very interesting guest choice by Ali. They gave people the worst idea about Islam and Muslims. I honestly hope that Ali takes this episode down before any non-Muslim watches it and it causes them to grow further away from Islam.
@@fatmashamlal7968 With all due respect, to me, that guy showed so many signs of a sadistic psychopath.
I can only sympathize when the chores are still done manually. I used to wash clothes by hand piece by piece, cook rice before rice cooker become cheap enough, still washing dishes manually to this day, still sweeping and mopping floors because I don't have vacuum, still ironing clothes, and it only takes less than 2 hours to finish all.
If you have washing machine, dishwasher, vacuum cleaner, oven, etc, I don't think you're in the position to complain about chores.
Now, raising children is another beast. It takes a lot of time and energy (physically, mentally, and emotionally), especially if the child has special needs and/or disability.
i dont respect many women but u r one of em
Agreed