SHOULD MARRIED COUPLES HAVE SINGLE FRIENDS? - EP 12 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW

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  • Опубліковано 26 лис 2024

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  • @AliDawah
    @AliDawah  Рік тому +27

    Please donate and help establish this Masjid and earn your reward: www.saveiman.com/fb?
    The Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever builds a Mosque for Allah, Allah will build for him a similar house in Jannah.”
    If you support this project, you will in sha Allah get a house in Jannah and share in the rewards of all the people:
    ✅ Praying in the Masjid!
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    ✅ Memorizing the Qur’an!

    • @thebesttruth4659
      @thebesttruth4659 Рік тому +1

      May Allah protect innocent Muslim family😔in Pakistan
      And other innocent family😔 too.
      Pakistan stop kidnapped and killed innocent family😔

    • @npc9520
      @npc9520 Рік тому

      Mr Scientific Miracle

    • @alphauno6614
      @alphauno6614 Рік тому +4

      Ali I’m reading the comments and looks like the people want you to do more in the modesty department when setting up the panel. Is this something you can look into? Thank you

    • @thajacobdz
      @thajacobdz Рік тому

      Whaaaaaat ??? Gathering with girls you don't know and aren't your family and you say you're a Muslim and you invite people to Islam , bro you're making a lot of Bidaa and shit out of Islam , please stop being stupid , you must stop talking about Islam

    • @taasmr4203
      @taasmr4203 Рік тому +1

      *Ali, those couches are too small to place three male and three female guests because as you can see that they are hardly sitting on those couches and they look very uncomfortable, therefore, you should get two larger and bigger couches that have wider space to sit and to stretch plus their should be handrails or hand resting thing between each guest so that your guests can place their hands on it. There should also be a table in the centre so that your guest can place water bottles and cups of tea or coffee on it in order to be dehydrated and to stay fresh and active.*

  • @Hanna95000
    @Hanna95000 Рік тому +241

    I felt sorry for the sister in pink. She had a really important point and made a lot of sense but the other sisters were too defensive and made it about an attack on them rather than seeing the context.
    Why would the sister say 'they explained it to me...' obviously that means they said a similar thing when she was getting married and she is using her experience to give advice.

    • @rumibegum899
      @rumibegum899 Рік тому +19

      I was thinking exactly the same.

    • @5sos140
      @5sos140 Рік тому +15

      Agreed, i felt bad too, we must look at both perspectives even though the advice she gave was a far fetched

    • @Umm-hanifah
      @Umm-hanifah Рік тому +23

      The sister was sharing some beneficial gems mashaAllah, she is also very well spoken. It's unfortunate that the other 2 sisters went on attack mode.

    • @MrShumz
      @MrShumz Рік тому +15

      I 100 percent agree....it's the divorcees man literally they got triggered

    • @GalaxyisAmazing
      @GalaxyisAmazing Рік тому +23

      I agree with the sister in pink because I too have experienced a divorcee friend trying to warn me in similar ways to divorce my husband and alhumdaulillah I've shut the door to our friendship and my marriage is fine now, her point wasn't a generalisation, women in general get triggered by their own experiences in life they feel the need to justify themselves when in actual fact this wasn't an attack on the sister on the right - women find it hard to leave their own feelings and experiences to one side and hold a 'general' discussion...hence why most of us start by saying 'In my personal experience/I think'...

  • @Yataaaaashhh
    @Yataaaaashhh Рік тому +38

    Bless the sister in pink, she was really making a point. She was really positive bless her. May Allah bless you ❤

  • @mufasahm8238
    @mufasahm8238 Рік тому +71

    The sister in pink was the only female who answered Ali's question. The other 2 were triggered divorcees who attacked the sister in pink diverted in topic. They said they are healed but clearly got triggered. What triggers you needs to be healed. Women don't get along with women, too many illogical emotions. And they are "physiotherapists" and so called "mentors", what a negative image. I'd never trust and go to such emotional "therapists". Speak from your degree not your own personal emotions.

    • @notsure920
      @notsure920 Рік тому +5

      Yes, agreed, so sad the sister is pink was just expressing an opinion which was valid....

  • @TeachingSeeds
    @TeachingSeeds Рік тому +30

    The sister with the jilbab and the one next to her were a little too defensive. It's like as soon as the sister in the pink mentioned divorce they were triggered.
    There's nothing wrong with making excuses for someone and saying "maybe she said this because she went thru a bad experience". What's so triggering about that?

  • @fozpringle1
    @fozpringle1 Рік тому +75

    Why are the divorcees getting so defensive like we're blaming them for everything 🤷🏽‍♂️

    • @LoveYou-ol3dt
      @LoveYou-ol3dt Рік тому +18

      Typical. Women. Emotional. Defensive.

    • @qmehmood123
      @qmehmood123 Рік тому +16

      Now you know how they ruin their marriage.

    • @clouds53
      @clouds53 Рік тому +3

      It's so ironic because then they will say: "There's nothing wrong with divorcees" - you are your own worst enemy. You perpetuate the stigmas and negative stereotypes yourself that you are trying to get rid of. Clearly you are still suffering from trauma and triggered.

    • @malefemanle
      @malefemanle Рік тому +1

      @@LoveYou-ol3dt looool

  • @insyirahandhy4977
    @insyirahandhy4977 Рік тому +94

    Answer is simple- whether single or not, just as the Prophet SAW advised, look for righteous companions whom you know wish the best for you.

    • @piqueny8872
      @piqueny8872 Рік тому +2

      Listen to a friends advise or even a family member doesn’t mean you have to take action.
      Women end up depressed alone and suffer if they start losing friends

    • @malefemanle
      @malefemanle Рік тому

      ma sha Allah

    • @malefemanle
      @malefemanle Рік тому

      @@piqueny8872 who told you bro

    • @piqueny8872
      @piqueny8872 Рік тому

      @@malefemanle many of my females cousins left there social life focusing on there Marriage. Ending up depressed and alone
      While there husbands held on to there with
      Bachelor life they still have sports events ,bro only vacations bro only lunches dinner day trips ect they have both worlds
      While the couz has nobody to simply conversation with

    • @malefemanle
      @malefemanle Рік тому

      social media is not the only way to converse.
      Everything you mentioned sisters can do too without media.

  • @HAli3291
    @HAli3291 Рік тому +182

    The sister in pink expressed her opinions in such a graceful way. She looked at different scenario's and laid it out neutrally. Shame on the other women who were triggered..who also happened to be divorced. Shame on you ladies. Discuss in grace and do not be triggered because of your personal situation.

    • @lunanahid8506
      @lunanahid8506 Рік тому +32

      I agree 💯. She just mentioned with reference to the texts that this could be a projection too, and jealousy might not be the reason or the only reason as well. (Or it could be too one can only speculate). She literally just gave a reason as to why someone would be so invasive. Was very irritating to see triggered reactions. React with grace if you have a different opinion. It seems like everyone else got what the sister in pink was trying to say except the other two sisters.

    • @nancyjones5971
      @nancyjones5971 Рік тому +24

      100% it was so embarrassing to see these 2 grown women go full out on an emotional rant why it just CANT be a divorced women
      Sister how do you know? It could be a divorced women 🤷‍♀️

    • @malefemanle
      @malefemanle Рік тому +9

      don't say shame on them. that's bad

    • @hakangokhan9434
      @hakangokhan9434 Рік тому

      @@malefemanlewhy not? If it’s the truth then you must say it. Most of the time these “women” act like base creatures aka bitches if they disagree. Most of the time these women on the show are disgraceful.

    • @tameemahmed7006
      @tameemahmed7006 Рік тому

      💯

  • @kikikoko607
    @kikikoko607 Рік тому +38

    Such friends are useless. A good friend doesn't interfere in your mariage and only gives good advices.

  • @kfacrew2005
    @kfacrew2005 Рік тому +53

    The lady on the right is getting triggered, there are some divorced women that would project their own bad experiences on others and that’s a fact. Not all divorcees are healed darling so chill out and stop getting so triggered and using it so personally

    • @malefemanle
      @malefemanle Рік тому +5

      why you getting trigggered fam

    • @MartinMalmy
      @MartinMalmy Рік тому +2

      You can only get healed if you get married again and live happily.

    • @esthellakomerl8084
      @esthellakomerl8084 Рік тому

      Doesn't everyone base their opinions on their life experiences?? She might not base her ideas on just her life but what she's witnessed from family and friends..

    • @cooljool1
      @cooljool1 Рік тому

      Her life experiences were not good and make her unable to see properly the world around her@@esthellakomerl8084

  • @user-ud8jh1ui8m
    @user-ud8jh1ui8m Рік тому +8

    Poor attitude from the second divorced woman in the middle. 'I am in that situation...' Wouldn't want advice/therapy from her, too easily triggered needs to perhaps see a therapist herself. Far right seemed more innocent in her comments but also triggered for no reason.

  • @balqisyacoubi7159
    @balqisyacoubi7159 Рік тому +45

    I had a friend tell me the exact thing, she called me randomly when I was at work just to tell me “ dont have a baby with your husband, wait 4 yrs because he might not be the right person” she also told me some rumours that were made about me and implied that she believed them so I distanced myself from her, a year later I saw her in target while I was pregnant and she verbally assaulted me.. We weren’t even close friends
    , just a friend from school and a neighbour..I definitely think it was jealousy because she had a forced arranged marriage and I have a love marriage..Alhamdullilah my husband is a great father, moral of the story be mindful of those kind of friends who turn on you after a blessing or a milestone in your life.

    • @imanlamri3400
      @imanlamri3400 8 місяців тому

      Yeah sometimes it comes come a part of jealousy epically in women most of the when they have a bad issue they go over spreading the negativity to other women just to put her down

  • @glowstickdrag1967
    @glowstickdrag1967 Рік тому +73

    Can’t wait to watch this
    First thoughts though is women have to be more careful about this then men. Your single friend will sabotage your marriage if she’s jealous cause she’s insecure as heck. I’ve heard many stories and it’s awful. Women are wild, especially if they are older and see women younger then them getting married. Careful out there brothers and sisters

    • @hshwhwbwhwhw3364
      @hshwhwbwhwhw3364 Рік тому +6

      Yes very true

    • @itsarqum8086
      @itsarqum8086 Рік тому +7

      @@MilitantAntiAtheism Your username already indicates that this may be a troll account. Muslims don't worship Muhammad (PBUH), they only claim that he is the last prophet of god. Muslims aren't allowed to worship anyone besides Allah, you can look it up, it's common knowledge.

    • @mianatwood
      @mianatwood Рік тому +1

      @@MilitantAntiAtheismlmao , what have you been smoking?😂😂🤦‍♂️😭

    • @extraordinary.verses
      @extraordinary.verses Рік тому +1

      please unsubscribe from Ali channel.

    • @enami8888
      @enami8888 Рік тому

      Very true

  • @yamanalbik5240
    @yamanalbik5240 Рік тому +35

    No matter whether you are married or single or divorced you have limits and boundaries with your friends that should not let them pass it 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @roosworld4910
    @roosworld4910 Рік тому +25

    That's why I don't have any close friends. Lol its a shame because it would be nice to have good friends. Jealousy, overstepping the boundary is draining. Went out for dinner with a person who kept wanting to be my friend but then decided she's not a good friend. She was trying to tell me what I feel and think. Plant seeds of doubts. It was emotionally taxing.

    • @tjc4085
      @tjc4085 Рік тому +3

      I don’t think it’s that complicated. Friends are people your supposed to have fun and laugh with. They’re not supposed to be people u vent to. Perhaps get support from yes but therapy is for deep stuff and there is people to get advice re marriage.

  • @jayjoe3716
    @jayjoe3716 Рік тому +22

    I'm a single man. I don't even call the wives of my friends and refuse to meet them alone even for small stuff, aside from emergencies. I don't have any thoughts of that kind about them, but still. Who knows what will come to my and her mind if shaytan gets us in our weak moments?
    I had once a female friend of mine say when we were alone, "i wish i knew you before him". She was not a wife yet, but the girlfriend of a friend of mine who planned marrying her. I was like full stop and shocked. That was in university and i distanced myself from her immendiately.
    So, just to be safe, no; don't have a friend of the opposite gender. And even a single friend of the same gender can bring toxic opinion into your relationship, so be careful.

    • @onyxxxyno
      @onyxxxyno 10 місяців тому

      Married people can be toxic, too. It's up to you to pick better friends.

  • @mohammedkabir6746
    @mohammedkabir6746 Рік тому +15

    Love the way smile to jannah kept his eyes down all the way subbanallah ❤️

    • @hodanabdulkadir9019
      @hodanabdulkadir9019 Рік тому +4

      I love that guy he’s smart articulate on point I hope he’s on the panel all the time you can tell he’s practicing god bless

    • @malefemanle
      @malefemanle Рік тому

      he's a good kid

  • @yahyaspath
    @yahyaspath Рік тому +30

    the absolute worst thing a woman can do is tell her friends about any negative things in her relationship, especially if her friends are single - women are much more easily influenced than men, which is why its not as bad if a man does it

    • @TheGuidedOne_
      @TheGuidedOne_ Рік тому +2

      Unfortunately, several Muslimas are already following the system of Dajjal, and they forget what the prophet warned them about.
      Hadith:
      Prophet said, "O women, I saw majority dwellers of Hell-fire were women. You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands"
      Bukhari 304

    • @yahyaspath
      @yahyaspath Рік тому +2

      @@kareemamoffatt1329 men are less likely to listen to their friends’ opinions on their partner. of course they still shouldnt do it, but realistically the impact is not as negative

    • @aa-fw2pw
      @aa-fw2pw Рік тому

      I know men who have divorced their wives because their mothers have influenced them due to their jealousy of their son's wife. Always mentioned her faults to her son until he disliked her so much he divorced her

    • @yahyaspath
      @yahyaspath Рік тому +2

      @@aa-fw2pw as i said (please learn to read), neither should speak negatively to others about their partner - women are just more impressionable. why do you think most advertising campaigns target women?

    • @piqueny8872
      @piqueny8872 Рік тому

      Men want seggs no matter how much his friends advise he will not let nobody or any Ones advise stop him from getting his.
      Old unc married 4Time juts cuz he get to bust nuts again
      He didn’t care about his grown adult children or Debt
      A man weakness is between his legs

  • @ruthtruthinireland
    @ruthtruthinireland Рік тому +25

    I couldn't be more disgusted to hear that this even happens, Astaghfirullah. I am a revert and I have to say that NEVER in my life before Islam would a friend - single or otherwise - EVER dream of telling a bride what she should or should not do on her wedding night. This is crazy... in fact it's beyond crazy... it's downright interfering, inappropriate in the extreme and RUDE!
    It is NO-ONE'S business what a husband and wife decide to do on their wedding night. If this is not haram.... it should be (sorry, I feel strongly about this)

    • @esthellakomerl8084
      @esthellakomerl8084 Рік тому

      Absolutely.. Doesn't make sense to me.. I'm from the previous generation.. We were subtly 'advised' by elders to have intimate relation with the spouse as soon as possible after nikaah.. Avoiding the husband in my times was not an option.. Because we understood one of the purposes of marriage is to have children.. And children were not considered a burden but a huge blessing..

    • @shakur8918
      @shakur8918 Рік тому +3

      Reverts are amazing because you chose Islam just like the Sahabas. My comment has nothing to do with the video, I just like to show my respect for reverts whenever I see or meet them. May Allah continue to bless you

  • @Fairydust74k
    @Fairydust74k Рік тому +36

    One thing I always tell my married friend is that once you share a negative experience from your spouse, you as his wife may and will forgive him, but others will remain with this negative perception of him and possibly judge his character.
    I have a friend who vents to me about her relationship and Alhamdillah, I’m proud to say that I only give advice based on Islamic reasons. However, I always recommend my friend to try keeping things to herself because unless she plans on leaving him, she shouldn’t expose him.

    • @BQ900
      @BQ900 Рік тому +2

      Absolutely! The friends just want details and pick apart your husband. Not their business. ❤

  • @Ntwadumela266
    @Ntwadumela266 Рік тому +11

    Telling the girl not to consummate her marriage earlyis the stupidest advice I’ve heard. Sex is shared between 2, it’s not a weapon to be used to manipulate the relationship

    • @BQ900
      @BQ900 Рік тому

      Depends was the bride a virgin?

  • @ANormalUser398
    @ANormalUser398 Рік тому +16

    Great Podcast Brother Ali. Keep up the Good Work.

  • @reneemcguinness2136
    @reneemcguinness2136 Рік тому +5

    Women interfere with words and create problems between the couple. Women have a tendency to whisper in their friends ear and create drama or suspicions.
    Men interfere with actions and create problems between the couple.
    Men have a tendency to egg each other on and tempt their brothers to do Haram. My husband's single Muslim friends keep inviting him to go smoke hookah, nightclub, stay out until early morning, offer to lie about his whereabouts, etc.
    So in short, single or married, male or female, choose your friends wisely and choose those who actively reflect your values.

  • @shazzz2909
    @shazzz2909 Рік тому +5

    I don't think there's anything to do with being single. You even find married women giving bad advice like that. That's just a bad friend who happened to be single.

  • @youssefhossam327
    @youssefhossam327 Рік тому +18

    The way i see it (i might not be fair as I'm introverted to an extent) friends aren't a necessity. Just extra fun and leisure. If they get in the way of your necessary relationships, better that you have no friends honestly

    • @aa-fw2pw
      @aa-fw2pw Рік тому +10

      Friends, for me are a necessity. After the deaths of my mother and brother, my family withdrew, and communications broke down. My 3 very close friends got me through and still do today.

    • @youssefhossam327
      @youssefhossam327 Рік тому +3

      @@aa-fw2pw I love that for you and I'm definitely not denying the importance of friendships. Just saying if any friends get in the way of your marraige or family they're not something you have to hold on to. I'm glad you had your friends and I'm sorry for your loss البقاء لله .

    • @Marwadear512
      @Marwadear512 Рік тому +2

      I don’t have any family and my parents are deceased. Friends are extremely important.

    • @youssefhossam327
      @youssefhossam327 Рік тому

      @@Marwadear512 agreed they are important and I'm glad you found good company, however not important enough to jeopardize marraige/familial relationships for to any extent.

    • @mk-19memelauncher65
      @mk-19memelauncher65 Рік тому

      How do you find a wife without any friends lmao

  • @naziaiqbal4240
    @naziaiqbal4240 Рік тому +13

    I think that the girl who advised her married friend, is basically grown up in environment where most girls are advised this. They tend to think that refusing intimacy or delaying is a means of controlling the husband, basically they want the wife to be dominant in the relationship. That if they give in on the first night, the husband will have control for the rest of their lives. So most girls back home basically do this from their first night and also everytime the husband wants intimacy. They reject and delay it. They also look down on girls who dont do this. And their also really curious and ask about private moments in detail. So this girl could be jealous or maybe thats what she thinks is best for her friend. Even though clearly no one should be advising this to any married couple. Its their life and their choice. You dont get haqq just because your close friends. Also even giving general advise to married couples shouls be avoided, as everyones situations different and your advise may work for you but not everyone else. So be careful on taking advise form friends and even families. As sometimes parent's involvement or even siblings has been proven wrong for couples

    • @itaz6276
      @itaz6276 Рік тому

      That’s a bingo comment… women that refuse sex in the first night is because she isn’t comfortable with it… and as the prophet advised - men shouldn’t rush their wives

    • @BDKing-hh7pk
      @BDKing-hh7pk Рік тому

      Brother is marriage mandetory in Islam?

    • @naziaiqbal4240
      @naziaiqbal4240 Рік тому +3

      @@BDKing-hh7pk its a sunnah not farz iv heard

    • @linaazmiin7479
      @linaazmiin7479 Рік тому

      is half of your deen@@BDKing-hh7pk

  • @Possibly04
    @Possibly04 Рік тому +5

    BREVVVVV why do those sisters take it in such a victimized manner when the pink clothed sister brought up such an amazing point.

  • @faridullahsaadat6104
    @faridullahsaadat6104 Рік тому +5

    Jazakallah kairan brither ali, i always following your channel from Afghanistan. It helps more and more Alhamdullah.

  • @srali7609
    @srali7609 Рік тому +7

    when her friend said "they waked me up" which means her jealousy woke her up

  • @amal6251
    @amal6251 Рік тому +10

    A good friend will never dictate what you should do, a great friend will listen and would do their best to guid you, have your back, support you, remind you of allll the positive things, so you can see the picture clearly to make the right decision without feeling bad or pressured, Allah knows best.

  • @emanomer2288
    @emanomer2288 Рік тому +4

    I like the way the brother in the black hat thinks please bring him in more mashallah very sensible

  • @HI-rx5jn
    @HI-rx5jn Рік тому +3

    It is how you are bought up. We sisters were never bought up to discuss such personal matters. My sisters and I don't sit with friends and discuss such personal matters.

  • @mrahman2897
    @mrahman2897 Рік тому +12

    Single or married friend does not matter, they should be on the deen and of the same gender.

  • @piqueny8872
    @piqueny8872 Рік тому +6

    Only advise was don’t get pregnant on the wedding night!
    You don’t fully know what they are like yet
    Don’t want to be pregnant divorced singles parent with a crazy ex for 18 years!

  • @laylow4530
    @laylow4530 11 місяців тому +1

    Its good that they stated that this experience doesnt have to do with the friend being single. Its a bad advice in any way.

  • @shamailaahmed7442
    @shamailaahmed7442 Рік тому +7

    Wholeheartedly agree with brother zeeshan. Also agree with having boundaries with friends.

  • @aquadistant
    @aquadistant Рік тому +21

    Maa shaa allah, allahuma barik for our sister her jilbab is graceful

    • @AJ-il1lm8ph7z
      @AJ-il1lm8ph7z Рік тому +3

      Jilbab is "stunning" yet they're sitting opposite non mahrams in close proximity discussing sex with your spouse and how it should be private and not discussed with friends? Literally hijab means more than a piece of cloth you're wrapped in! I hope the irony isn't lost on you.

    • @aquadistant
      @aquadistant Рік тому

      @@AJ-il1lm8ph7z would you not like to see improvement in your sisters hijab rather than nothing at all? Just because I’m highlighting one aspect of her hijab that’s improved, doesn’t mean I approve of this whole ordeal. I used to watch Ali Dawah a lot back then but his content isn’t the same anymore, May allah make us all steadfast.

    • @aquadistant
      @aquadistant Рік тому

      @@laila970 ameen and Assalamu alaikum sister, I’m sorry if I came off that way, the hijab isn’t supposed to be stunning in terms of beauty in appearance. To clarify I meant stunning as in I’m literally amazed (stunned lol) by woman starting to embrace Allahs rulings more and more. May allah bring this sister and us all closer to Allah. As a niqabi sister I also get comments on beauty but it’s usually from girls I’m close with, and I get excited when I see other sisters developing a more modest style of clothing and compliment them on it too as a means of encouragement. Also regarding people who insult you don’t even listen to them or give a second thought. I learned the hard way that no matter what you do they’ll never be pleased. People tell me I’m too young and to uncover myself but who are they in front of the most high? May allah give you the best sister, you seem sincere barakallahu feek. :)

  • @razer0072073
    @razer0072073 Рік тому +97

    Why do single women hate seeing other women spoiling their men ? 😂

    • @sbe8621
      @sbe8621 Рік тому +28

      there area lot of single women that do not do this behaviour , this is a handful of disgusting women , most of us are nothing like the women they are discussing

    • @adib7828
      @adib7828 Рік тому +17

      Jealousy

    • @jayjay6357
      @jayjay6357 Рік тому +11

      They're miserable, lonely, and jealous

    • @jasonbourne5924
      @jasonbourne5924 Рік тому

      In islame, women have to dress up like ninjas because their husbands are frequently beating them (sura 4.34)

    • @InfoHubNow
      @InfoHubNow Рік тому +8

      Women are jelous people

  • @sameerafarhat3144
    @sameerafarhat3144 11 місяців тому +1

    The woman in brown is right , the one women in grey is getting defensive and emotional.

  • @ttnszid5761
    @ttnszid5761 Рік тому +7

    "Single women keep women single"

    • @btb554
      @btb554 Рік тому +1

      Not really. You're generalising based on some. Based on that the same can also be said about single male friends too

  • @BilalHussainBilalHussain-wg7hx
    @BilalHussainBilalHussain-wg7hx Рік тому +10

    ALLAH IS THE MOST GRATEST ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤❤❤ ❤

  • @mohpat9989
    @mohpat9989 Рік тому +2

    Men and Women should not have friends of the opposite gender, that's the Islamic way Allahu Akbar

  • @sadyadey782
    @sadyadey782 Рік тому +1

    This is why o don’t deal with friends only be friendly and smile for others and move on with my own business.

  • @x7yo7x
    @x7yo7x Рік тому +4

    The friend that sent the text probably had good intentions and just wanted to avoid what had happened to her to happen to her friends as well. She had her experience and identified that to be an issue with her own marriage and wanted to warn the friend. Good advice or bad advice is up to the receiver of the text, I think it wasn’t good advice, but let’s not antagonise the girl who probably just wanted good for her newly wed friend

    • @NickR27
      @NickR27 Рік тому +1

      Warning someone and telling someone what to do and not do are two deferent things.

  • @tarakhan3801
    @tarakhan3801 11 місяців тому

    A ‘friend’ isn’t texting on a wedding night! Period!

  • @andagoodheart
    @andagoodheart Рік тому +3

    People have different paths in life. Am i going to stop being friends with my friend of 10 years just because i got married earlier than she did?
    I genuinely think it’s a silly question.
    Friendships are harder to make as you get older I’m not going to dump my friend just because she isn’t married at the same time as me. That’s just silly.

  • @yemgo3133
    @yemgo3133 Рік тому +2

    Good work Ali, keep going in broadcast series and give a chance for womem and man who have NO opinions. Watching from Russia

  • @zaynabb
    @zaynabb Рік тому +9

    I think the friend is giving advice based on what women of this generation are told, as in the non-muslims. They give this advice to women who date men, so they don’t use them just for intimacy and then leave. The problem is you can’t apply kufr advice to muslims brothers and sisters, especially marriages. Dating is haram anyway, so this situation shouldn’t even occur. If you’ve gone through all these steps to get married, is that not proof enough that they are serious? Also, this advice can low key just be straight up manipulation💀 Like the women trying to gain power over the man, and I think it stems from the fear women have of being used, mistreated etc in relationships. It’s like how feminism was created in response to genuine misogyny, and then red pill was formed in response to feminism. Either gender just trying to one up the other by gaining power of the others and being the one in control, for the fear that the other is going to do that to them.

    • @btb554
      @btb554 Рік тому +1

      Yess! "Hurt people hurts people "

    • @zaynabb
      @zaynabb Рік тому

      @@btb554 exactly nah u just summarised my whole paragraph in one sentence😭

    • @btb554
      @btb554 Рік тому +1

      @@zaynabb Without your paragraph, my comment wouldn't have made much sense. You explained everything beautifully. Oftentimes, in these channels, people discuss feminism being the reason for young men and Muslim men getting influenced by the red pill. Which is true, of course. But no one really discusses the reason why some Muslim women get influenced by feminism.

    • @linaazmiin7479
      @linaazmiin7479 Рік тому

      my thought as well

    • @maz4488
      @maz4488 10 місяців тому

      I agree with the “you’re already married, so nothing to fear” thing, but there are people/ cultures that treat nikaah as an engagement & then break it off (divorce) before the walima. In this case, even though intimacy is allowed, it’s the woman that has a lot to lose through sleeping with him. So the friend could’ve been referring to that in her message.

  • @Md_sadiq_Md
    @Md_sadiq_Md Рік тому +2

    May Allah bless our brothers and sisters of ummah with Jannah ❤
    Aameen summa Aameen ❤

  • @yasminea7149
    @yasminea7149 Рік тому +1

    The text said wait until your walimah, i.e., the friend was saying if everything happens, there is a chance the husband may not pay for a walimah/wedding party. So, it wasn't jealousy but, like the lady in pink said, it could be advice from someone with bad experience. Maybe she didn't get her promised walima/wedding party. She specifically asked her: is that what you want (if he doesn't do it)? So, lady in pink is quite on the mark.

  • @roosworld4910
    @roosworld4910 Рік тому +3

    The girls probably advise them not to give it up so her husband doesn't think she's desperate and gagging for it. Give her time to get to know him and build an emotional connection too (side note: I did not advise anyone that). JUST trying to understand why girls would advise that.

  • @marytheraspberry3145
    @marytheraspberry3145 Рік тому +1

    Brother Shakeel´s last statement was very accurate. It can be a mother-in-law too.
    When it comes to her own daughter she wants her to be treated well, but when it comes to other people´s daughters: No, they don´t deserve to be well treated.
    It´s very common in North Africa when the woman is actually righteous.
    However, when the woman is selfish and evil, the same said mother-in-law respects her, or fears her, shall I say?

  • @BDKing-hh7pk
    @BDKing-hh7pk Рік тому +7

    Not trying to be rude. But single friends give terrible advice specially if it's single female friend.
    Always stay away from single friends brothers and sisters

    • @jurateb.9794
      @jurateb.9794 10 місяців тому

      Do you mean that after you get married you block all your single friends? Even if you were friends since childhood? And after they got married you unblock them? Did any of your friends get married and tell you to stop contacting them because you were single?

  • @Quran_Reminders_Nasheeds
    @Quran_Reminders_Nasheeds Рік тому

    Ma sha Allah brother Zeeshan had some very valid points! 👌🏽

  • @TheGuidedOne_
    @TheGuidedOne_ Рік тому +92

    Something similar happened to me.
    I live in London, a while back I got married (nikah) with a Pakistani woman.
    On the same day we got married in the evening, we were alone in the living room, still in our nikah clothing, I tried hugging my wife, and what she said to me, shocked me beyond belief by stating in a very aggressive and rude manner (don't you dare touching me and if you try to touch me again, I'll tell my sister).
    I told her, alright lets go, I'll take you home, which she seemed very happy to do so. Took her back to her sister's place, after dropping her to her sister's place, I explained her and her husband what her sister (my so called wife) told me when I tried hugging her and then asked them, if any of them have the right to intervene now that we were married, and they clearly said (No).
    Her sister (of my so called wife) and her husband were very pious, as the wife was always in niqab and the husband was always in a Islamic attire, so I doubt very much that this had anything to do with them.
    I then decided to leave her at her sister and gave her divorce 3 days later, not having consummated the marriage.
    Prior to the marriage the girl and I, had met several times and always in the presence of an adult, who kept their distance, there was never any indication of marriage being forced, and she was eager to get married.
    Please note: When a woman is getting married, the Imam asks the woman 3 times, in the presence of the witnesses, if she accepts the husband. Every Muslim knows that nikah is the ultimate bound between a husband and wife before Allah. This is a consenting adult we're talking about, not a child. We're NOT kafirs, we are Muslims.
    Before the marriage she dressed modestly, but after a week of giving her divorce, she came to my family's house with her family members and also requested my presence, she dressed like a kafir, exposing herself with extremely tight clothing, talking in a VERY prideful manner, also stating saying that I never gave her divorce. I then then said to her (Are you ready then?) and then repeated (I'm divorcing you) 3 times, in front of both families while they were all paying attention as witnesses, and then I said to her (it is done, and now there's no doubt).
    It was the best decision I ever done, rather than staying with such a disobedient and vile wife, who clearly has waged war against the commands of Allah and his Messenger.
    I'm not sacrificing my peace of mind for such a woman. These types really don't deserve good men.
    This sort of behaviour didn't occur in the past when our parents/grandparents used to get married, however this has now become far more frequent since the Feminist movement.
    Unfortunately many Muslimas seem to be proudly following the system of Dajjal, and they forget what the prophet warned them about.
    Hadith:
    Prophet said,
    "O women, I saw majority dwellers of Hell-fire were women.
    You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.
    A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you."
    Bukhari 304
    For the feminists out there, it’s not always the Man's fault and the evidence is what the prophet warned you women. You proudly run your mouths, become ungrateful and disobedient to your husbands, you deprive them of intimacy, hence the reason prophet saw the majority of you women in Hell-Fire.
    Hadith
    The Prophet said,
    If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone, then I would order the wife to prostrate to her husband.
    Tirmidhi 1159
    Hadith
    Amr bin Al-Harith Al-Mustaliq said:
    It used to be said that the people with the worst punishment [on the Day of Judgment] are two: A woman who disobeyed her husband, and a people's Imam whom they dislike.
    Tirmidhi 359
    Hadith
    The Prophet said,
    If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband).
    Bukhari 5194
    We as Muslims must follow what Allah and his messenger have decreed, its not for any of us to decide otherwise, and those doing so, are disbelievers.
    Quran, Verse 33:36
    It is not for a believing man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger decree a matter, to have any other choice in that matter. Indeed, whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has clearly gone ˹far˺ astray.
    I've also learned that certain things in life are unexplainable, no matter how much we try to justify for ourselves, for others or on behalf of others, otherwise we would be able to comprehend criminals, we wouldn't need to have prisons, and most certainly Allah wouldn't send anyone to Hell-Fire.
    Regardless, I put my trust in Allah and Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah), he blessed me with a lovely pious wife and we're both very happy.
    Quran 3:173
    And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He ˹alone˺ is sufficient for them. Certainly Allah achieves His Will. Allah has already set a destiny for everything.
    For the women who bear patience, are devout and obedient, may Allah bless them, they are righteous.
    Hadith
    The Prophet said: If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.
    Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami, no. 660.
    (Decided to edit this post and clarify as there are many people here, speculating way too much and jumping into conclusions)

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 Рік тому +24

      Ya Allah married men can't even get a hug from their wife? May Allah guide us all

    • @TheGuidedOne_
      @TheGuidedOne_ Рік тому +18

      @@razer0072073Apparently so brother, but then again, nothing good can be expected from women that follow feminism.
      Unfortunately, lots of Muslimas are already following the system of Dajjal, and they forget what the prophet warned them about.
      Hadith: Prophet said, "O women, I saw majority dwellers of Hell-fire were women. You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands"
      Bukhari 304

    • @shabanatasleem3532
      @shabanatasleem3532 Рік тому +12

      Why did she get married for then? Some, attempt to play mean to keep the man keen! Tactics…

    • @TheGuidedOne_
      @TheGuidedOne_ Рік тому +11

      @@shabanatasleem3532 To keep the man under the thumb... For paperwork.... Perhaps she already had someone else...
      Who cares, that's all irrelevant.
      Point is, if a woman shows that level of disobedience on the 1st day of marriage, she clearly has alternative motives, the man should not waste his time and energy finding why, should avoid consummating the marriage at all costs and divorce her immediately, otherwise this sort of a woman will destroy everything that man has, mentally and physically.

    • @razer0072073
      @razer0072073 Рік тому +5

      @shabanatasleem3532 Omg, I was thinking this as well! I said, "Why do women get married knowing that men like physical intimacy?" Like you knew this prior! It's as if some women have a power trip.

  • @GoogleGoogle-pd3yr
    @GoogleGoogle-pd3yr Рік тому +2

    Why is no one batting an eye that men and women are discussing this together with no haya. Great to have a discussion but the format is not necesarry

  • @yasminea7149
    @yasminea7149 Рік тому +1

    Lady in green is upset that the one in pink made a comment about divorced women, but she herself has no problems saying all women are "like this" and crave drama. Plz speak for yourself. Not all women crave or like drama. I cant stand it.

  • @zh5993
    @zh5993 Рік тому +3

    Wearing hijab and make up at the same time does not make sense to me

  • @kingpin4935
    @kingpin4935 Рік тому +2

    Mashallah great podcast.

  • @hillydilly474
    @hillydilly474 Рік тому +2

    My spouse hung out with ONLY single men. Men who are up all night playing video games. And he certainly acted like a single man which is why we are now divorced.

    • @MartinMalmy
      @MartinMalmy Рік тому

      That's on him, not his single friends.

    • @hillydilly474
      @hillydilly474 Рік тому

      @@MartinMalmy no one blamed his friends ???

  • @esthellakomerl8084
    @esthellakomerl8084 Рік тому +1

    Once you are married... Then try your best to fulfill your spouses haqq.. Don't take marriage as a 'trial'.

  • @hodanabdulkadir9019
    @hodanabdulkadir9019 Рік тому

    Well said jazaka alaah qayran the brother is be carefuling since last time the viewers accusing siding with mahdi you guys are amazing men women

  • @Hxssino
    @Hxssino Рік тому +3

    Women will share everything with their friends, that’s why you need to know the type of person your potential is, you need to keep things amongst your selves, unless if someone is genuinely getting abused

  • @jaleelawilliams3427
    @jaleelawilliams3427 Рік тому

    This was a good one allahumma barik!

  • @SA-rx3dv
    @SA-rx3dv Рік тому +3

    Starting to wonder what the point of these discussions is...and whether these topics are really worth inviting brothers and sisters into the same room seated across from each other like this. Not really seeing how this benefits the Ummah. Calling a group of non mehrams together to debate a random text message doesnt seem right and a bit futile/unnecessary. And as far as the issue is concerned, the friend just sounds like an unwise friend in general, rather than it being the fact shes single. You can have unwise married friends, unwise single friends..

  • @tjc4085
    @tjc4085 Рік тому +3

    Any woman who has anxieties and fears re abandonment knows this isn’t jealousy. It’s literally just fear that men leave or change up after getting intimacy. That’s where it comes from - fear. And all she was telling her friend was to wait until a Walimah is done which is when the marriage feels official. There’s people who actually divorce before walimah happens fyi so not a completely crazy idea although islamically not right to make a man wait that long after nikkah. Personally, I’d mix both into one as having a big walimah causes problems that could lead to fall out.
    The friend was wrong to interfere like that but to call it jealousy is quite honestly a poor analysis. I thought the women would see the ovbious but only 1 of them did. Sounds like they’re getting lost in the keys blame women culture instead of being level headed about it

  • @Learn_Quranwithme
    @Learn_Quranwithme Рік тому +3

    Abu Sa’eed (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Among the most evil of people before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who is intimate with a woman and she with him, then he spreads her secret.” Narrated by Muslim, 1437.

  • @hamzah7222
    @hamzah7222 Рік тому +4

    Sincere advice on a public platform as the video is public.
    Genuinely, what benefit do these types of dicussions bring to the ummah? By having such discussions you are inadvertently saying there is validity in holding a view which may be in contradiction to Islam. Islam is clear on these points and has been consistent since the beginning.
    Leaving aside whether the setting is even Islamic, I humbly ask brother Ali to really assess whether this brings genuine benefit to the ummah or whether it brings harm. Opinions are irrevant if you belive in an objective truth. Affirm the truth and leave the feelings aside and as a layman brother in the deen I humbly ask Ali dawah to take this into account and reassess whether this is conducive and beneficial in these challenging times.
    May Allah accept your work for the deen and may he keep myself and all of us upon the haqq.
    Jzk

  • @justin-lb5uv
    @justin-lb5uv Рік тому +3

    the woman being at fault the marriage went bad is categorally impossible

    • @TheGuidedOne_
      @TheGuidedOne_ Рік тому

      Unfortunately, several Muslimas are already following the system of Dajjal, and they forget what the prophet warned them about.
      Hadith:
      Prophet said, "O women, I saw majority dwellers of Hell-fire were women. You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands"
      Bukhari 304

  • @malefemanle
    @malefemanle Рік тому +4

    The green one got triggered

  • @izy9911
    @izy9911 Рік тому +1

    rly great guests !!!!!!!! all the guests on this episode

  • @roosworld4910
    @roosworld4910 Рік тому

    The power of suggestion can shape someone's life. Friendship defo is a responsibility of another human.

  • @enami8888
    @enami8888 Рік тому

    Very important topic barakalahufikoum 👏🏻

  • @storyreact
    @storyreact Рік тому +1

    *Amazing topic we like it!*

  • @ZuzuGlam
    @ZuzuGlam Рік тому +2

    Why is it so difficult for the women to give unbiased professional opinions without getting triggered. Especially the older one who is a counselor. You can’t say that even as a divorcee you only give great advice to women because that’s subjective, good advice to you might be destructive to a different marriage unit. Jumping on the girl who was eloquently sharing her thoughts about divorcees in general was disreputable.

  • @yahyosaid8109
    @yahyosaid8109 Рік тому +4

    Really bad to see, astagfirulloh. Woman and men never disscused like this. This is bad. Not islamic way.

  • @iNikkah
    @iNikkah Рік тому

    I wish more people would take pre marital coaching, they would spend 1000’s on wedding decor prepping for one day but not a penny to secure their future marriage

  • @khadsykoo2528
    @khadsykoo2528 Рік тому +1

    Married people should also be aware of what their single friends don't have. I've had a friend who is married describe her marriage to me what happened during an argument what she asked him to do etc etc. It's ridiculous.

  • @ertugrulgazi5042
    @ertugrulgazi5042 6 місяців тому +1

    Know I’m a bit late but had to comment on the fact that when people are expressing their opinions and valid points, then listen with an open mind and do not get triggered and take it personally as the 2 sisters on the right did. The sister on the left was simply stating her opinion and you cannot stop someone from voicing their opinion even if you don’t like what they say. All due respect but getting triggered like the 2 sisters can suggest you are not actually healed from you know what…

  • @NickR27
    @NickR27 Рік тому

    It's always the divorced woman that becomes a relationship coach and project their negative experiences onto others. Those two sisters disagreeing because of their personal experiences are doing the exact same thing the girl did to her newlywed friend.

  • @Ay-mc8kz
    @Ay-mc8kz Рік тому +16

    Of course you can have single friends OF THE SAME GENDER. Just don't tell them what's going on between yourself and your husband/wife! Since they are not married they cannot understand certain things! If you have marital problems that you want to discuss with a friend do it with someone who is married and also clear headed enough that he/she wouldn't go off like a firecracker but stay calm and objective so that he/she can give you objective advice!

    • @thepeopleofthequran8761
      @thepeopleofthequran8761 Рік тому

      ua-cam.com/video/2EUiQ3ktxYw/v-deo.html

    • @ishjrrrrr
      @ishjrrrrr 11 місяців тому

      You shouldn’t discuss your marriage with anyone, not even married friends. You can’t just assume they’ll give good advice just because they’re married.

    • @Ay-mc8kz
      @Ay-mc8kz 11 місяців тому

      @@ishjrrrrr yes very true!

  • @SalamamusaKonneh-jk4kk
    @SalamamusaKonneh-jk4kk Рік тому

    I really enjoyed this video

  • @jubafeltane257
    @jubafeltane257 Рік тому +1

    I got a better name for this show , marriage counseling sound more accurate 😅
    Assalam aleykum and may god bless each one of you

  • @kush833
    @kush833 Рік тому +1

    But most problems in marriages happen when families get involved, that's what we have to worry about, this destroyed a lot of marriages

  • @sadyadey782
    @sadyadey782 Рік тому +1

    We have 7 day lockdown in our culture and basically you are stuck in your room and you don’t out and cook

  • @ayaanmohamed1194
    @ayaanmohamed1194 Рік тому +3

    Personally you can’t tell your single friend’s anything about your marriage because they will get jealous from you and talk to you about something stupid what this woman is saying about her married friend, know one can tell me anything about my marriage is between me and my husband, it’s danbi and haram what go’s down in the bedroom haram and danbi,

  • @muslimninja9017
    @muslimninja9017 Рік тому +2

    Nice video brother may Allah bless you❤

  • @Oneworld-nc2kb
    @Oneworld-nc2kb Рік тому +3

    Sounds like my jealous brothers wife who was and is a pure evil witch. My now ex husband loved me a lot until this witch did her thing over the span of 20 years. May Allah destroy these types of women and expose them.

    • @EriPages
      @EriPages Рік тому +1

      Wait, your brother's wife?
      Why would she target you and sabotage your marriage?
      And why did your brother not defend you?

    • @Oneworld-nc2kb
      @Oneworld-nc2kb Рік тому

      Yes brothers wife. She targeted me because she is extremely jealous of me, my success, my relationship etc.
      My brother has been blinded and manipulated by black magic. She would tell us herself that she goes to certain people who perform witchcraft and mix things in drinks, even to her father, she would laugh at the fact that she fed her father a drink which made him shut his mouth and he was unable to disagree with her!

    • @EriPages
      @EriPages Рік тому +3

      @@Oneworld-nc2kb How can she admit those things as a muslimah to a muslim family and succeed against the family on this earth?

    • @Oneworld-nc2kb
      @Oneworld-nc2kb Рік тому

      @@EriPages black magic happened to prophet Mohammad (saw). She comes from a wild evil and shameless family, unlike us who are quiet and conservative. Those types of filthy women succeed, but it will catch up to them sooner or later, now she’s constantly possessed and has seizures.

  • @Amish07
    @Amish07 Рік тому +2

    No one hates women like fellow women😐😐😐Audhubillah

  • @lovefifi1317
    @lovefifi1317 Рік тому +2

    Im not sure why Ali keeps bringing up 9k and gold its coming across as he thought he's buying the girl for sex, very strange!

  • @Saa42808
    @Saa42808 Рік тому +1

    The future of Islam in Britain:
    inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

  • @CR7Update
    @CR7Update Рік тому

    my only critique to brother ali is that please fix the seating arrangement, the way everyone is sitting especially the brothers is honestly so awkward to look at and my back hurts just from looking because it doesnt even look comfortable the way they are sitting loll

  • @danielaramburo7648
    @danielaramburo7648 Рік тому

    Pick your friends very carefully. Be extremely careful who you let near you.

  • @raza6093
    @raza6093 Рік тому +1

    I was actually gonna skip this one but then I saw Zeeshan ❤️

  • @Blaze0071
    @Blaze0071 7 місяців тому

    I feel sorry for the man that friend gets married too if she ever gets married. Allah guide her

  • @DBLUE-bo2qe
    @DBLUE-bo2qe Рік тому

    The Bigger question’s are… why do people have friends, and why do ppl have friends but don’t trust them, or what are actually the levels of trust?

  • @Md_sadiq_Md
    @Md_sadiq_Md Рік тому

    Pushing the algorithm ❤

  • @a786-l7c
    @a786-l7c Рік тому +6

    SOMETIMES divorced women try to save marriages because they do not want the same to happen to thier friend..

  • @DUALL3
    @DUALL3 Рік тому +3

    i dont know this brother with a black hoodie and the hat but you should invite more

  • @shabana9
    @shabana9 Рік тому

    @alidawah brother. Can you do an episode on emotional expression for men in marriage?
    I think our unmah needs a conversation on expression of emotions for men in marriage.