Honestly Rory, you changed my life. If it wasn’t for you id never look deep into healing with growing & doing things for myself. Since my break up 8 months ago of 6 years, I’ve lost weight(keto & exercise), traveled, seen a counselor (just to see what it was about), began saving $, started my blog, began my side job with a makeup company I believe in, meditate when i can, get out in nature, plan dates with friends, read more & Im making my bucket list & will start checking those off my list! Losing someone is hard but gaining your self-worth & love is what helps you heal & grow. So thank you again for all you do!
3 years later update: Because I did all the above with everything I learned from Rory I have been in a healthy loving relationship the past 2 years with someone that has the same goals & life morals as I! I never thought I could find love again after my breakup but with finding yourself & working on you, all is possible! Thank you again Rory hope all is well!
@@sommerazzo1585 hello there. Many thanks for your comment and update. I am in the place now where you were 3 years ago. This has given me strength, really appreciate it. Thank you and I am glad you’re doing well now.
How to heal? start by understanding you are not grieving the loss of the person you are grieving the loss of the story the story you were living you miss the feelings you had in that particular story start a new story and new feeling will arise.
I didn't say it will be easy it took me a year and half indulging into my thoughts and feelings and alot of soul searching to come to that realisation. My comment is to able others to start a process and with much healing the process is not as long in saying that it may be a lot longer.
Physical : going to the gym, swimming and bouldering Emotional : reading alot of blogs to understand the breakup. Talk alot about it to friends and family. Recreational : walking my dog, reading books, game once in a while monetary : i have a very Well paid job. Intellectual : reading books, might start psychology course since i am very interested in it. Travel : planning a trip to Croatia this summer to go climbing, doubting to join a single Vacation group to go surfing in Portugal. social : picked up old contacts, and have my friends over alot.
Rory, thank you for our time today. Chatting with you has put many thnings into perspective. And the best way to heal is to DECIDE to move on, and to not focus or look back. Everything we've talked about is stuff has made me realize a lot of things. Again, thank you for the advice and I am choosing to move on. Yes, it will take time but I will heal and time is on my side. And the best things in life come unexpectedly. You're awesome, take care!
Just wanted to say I've just came off a call this evening with Rory. Anyone who wants to feel better, I promise you this is the way to go. I feel like a new man
Life is happening now. Those are your words and I am moving forward with it. While the breakup was beyond my control, my life, health, happiness are mine to steer. There are moments of doubts but I no longer dwell on it. Thank you for doing what you do.
It has been 7 months since my breakup. Wish I discovered this channel rather than Brad Browning. Things could have been so different with your advice Rory! Been on a trip this passed weekend with one of my dearest friends. Today was tough because I was alone for the first time and days and missed my ex a hell of a lot. I really did love her, still do. I wish she could realize, wish I could tell her one more time, but no contact is your advice Rory and I will stick with that!!! Thanks for the videos Brother!
It's good to be alone, that's when you have to confront your own thoughts instead of running away from them or ignoring them. Don't keep on telling girls/dates/girlfriends how much you love them ALL THE TIME - us girls want strong men who show us they love us (and occasionally say it) but not all the time because we don't want DOORMATS! We want strong and confident men (who don't need reassurance all the time). You're doing great Gustav, continue focusing on yourself and your goals and ambitions
It's been a year since I've heard from her. One year of No Contact, after eight years together. Seems like she'll never be back. It still hurts, and I still think of her a lot, every day. She hurt me more than I've ever been hurt, but somehow, I still love her.
Isn't it crazy to think some ex's will come back even though the relationship might have been a few months to a year, Yet yours was 8 years!. It kinda makes me feel like my ex of 4 months won't come back.
Carl Mauch hang in there! I feel the same.. its been 8 months NC.. 6 years together.. ive worked on myself im at a happy place just miss him so much still & its scary to think ill never see him ever again :(
One of the biggest things that has and, still is helping me is helping others. A friend of mine also went through a break up and I truly felt better after offering some support and being there. I'm a social person and can strike up a convo with just about anyone. In that sense its a bit easier for me, but its really healing for me. Thanks for the videos Rory, that person now watches your channel as well. Thanks for being you bro, and shout out to all the hurt hearts in here, don't worry all this pain is setting you up for the real person that's suppose to be in your life. God Bless!
Hi Rory, thank you so much for the coaching today, I have a clearer understanding of what is happening and I really appreciate your no BS answers . Thank you so much for what you do
I'm a truck driver and the most stressful thing in my life right now is the company I work for. I recently went and added on more endorsements to my license and now I am going to improve myself by finding a better job and that's my motivation right now
The most healing thing I have done through the entire process that started a year and a half ago is to learn about attachment styles. Something so crucial to understand ourselves and our past partners should be mandatory curriculum at high schools, and would prevent lot of pain in the adulthood. That helped tremendously. That, and this naughty thought: 'Apart from the unbearable pain of having lost a potential life partner...what about the incredibly fun stuff I can do from now on? The unexpected adventures I can embark on that otherwise I would have missed while being with her? Because now I am left with no freaking option but to try them all!'
Wow, this is perfect. This video reminded me of the fact that there really is much more to life which we obviously tend to forget during times of heartbreak. There's literally so much stuff I subconsciously knew I wanted to do before getting caught up in putting my entire precious energy, love, time and focus into this one-sided relationship that I finally decided to end recently. Until now I didn't even know how to get over him and felt stuck, but due to this video I'm honestly mindblown by and reminded of my talents, interests, goals all over again right now. Thank you so much Rory, I found your channel a few weeks ago and you have been succeeding in putting me back on track ever since! :)
The advice in this video for healing and moving on, and all of your other similar videos are applicable not just for romantic breakups, but for any other painful or unfortunate events that happens to us humans. I am going through a friendship breakup right now which I’m really struggling to deal with, and your advice is helping me a lot. I’m so so grateful for the work you’re doing. Thank you so much, and keep going. You’re doing great! ❤
Rory, thank you so much for this video. I listened to your channel extensively a few years ago when I found myself struggling with a break up. It was incredibly helpful and healing for me, I'm so glad it was there when I needed it. After following the advice in this video I found myself in the best place of my life mentally, not needing validation from others and a lack of insecurity I've never had before. I also was in the best shape of my life, even better than high school and I found myself attracting strangers like I never had. Unfortunately I let COVID become an excuse and I reverted to bad habits (drinking) and I regressed in many areas I had worked so hard to improve, including gaining the weight I had lost and the confidence I had built. I'm also going through another break up with the person I had met immediately before COVID and I found myself feeling the need to revisit this channel after many years. I'm so thankful for these videos. I know I can get through this because I've done all the work before and am actually grateful for the split because it's motivating me to reflect internally again and make the changes in my life I need to get back on a healthy path of self growth.
I just landed my dream job and a major tech company! So excited to move to a new place, learn more about what I’m interested in, and earn more money too!
Hi Rory, I’ve been watching(listening to) your videos for a while and I’m personally going thru a breakup. When you said “I’m planning a trip to Japan”, my jaw dropped and I wish I could meet you and talk to you in person! Thank you so much for your videos :)
Physical - Working out, eating healthier, stop smoking cigarettes, sleep better. Emotional - Psychiatric visit(s), venting. Recreational - Watching UA-cam, hanging out with friends, playing violin. Monetary - Saving $250 each paycheck for a car, only call off if i really need to. Intellectual - Reading books, watching lectures. Travel - Leave the country in 2020. Social - Hanging out with friends, calling people on the phone more often rather than texting.
Maybe your best video to date, very helpful and infotmative. I don't need it anymore luckily, but it repeats and deepens many things I've learned from you and may it help many people. Thank you Rory, you really helped me to heal over the past months, I'm glad I've found you. As for what I did: Physical: I started running again and walk and hike a lot, lost 5 kg in 4 months ^^ Emotional: I read and watched many books/posts/blogs/videos about relatiinships and break ups, including Rorys videos, and learned what went wrong, how to get over it and what to do better next time. And I spoke to loved ones a lot about my feelings. Recreational: I started playing games I've put on hold again, reading books, drawing more, playing the drums and joining 2 new orchestras, just stuff I enjoy and kinda put back for the relationship. Monetary: I treated myself some stuff with some leftover money I had, now I'm saving to get a healthy and stable ground. Intelectual: I'm very invested in my studies, and my head is very active with and overflowing with ideas, I'm no longer soely focused on my ex. Travel: I went for holydays at the beach with my family and do little weekend travels here and there, maybe I'll do a biger journy somwhere in the future. Social: I reconnected with old friends and relatives as well as met many new people, including some love interests. I'm way more confident and open socially. Wherever you are on jour journy through and after a break up, stay strong and don't give up! It sucks, it hurts, it makes you question evrerything. Been there, done that. There will be light again, you're amaizing and awesome, never forget that, good luck!
Thank you Rory for our chat earlier. Physical - Walking and stretching (bad ankle so much more than that makes me limp horribly) Emotional - Writing, Poetry, Talking to friends Recreational - Walking more I love nature, so more of that, Reading, games and movies monetary: Save more. Intellectual: Reading, learning more about behaviors Travel: Well I travel alot now, but I never get to actually enjoy some places, so I like to plan a trip to Costa Rica or Sedona, Az especially once restrictions end Social : Friends, meeting new people and talking to some old friends
Physically- running, hiking, yoga, and working out. Lost 10 pounds so far and plan to continue towards my goals. Emotionally- meditation! Journaling. Started the morning sidekick journal, which I recommend. Listening to a ton of self help videos. Planning to set up time with a counselor. Recreational- cooking plant based meals, painting, having art days with mom :), off roading, got my first tattoo! Disneyland 🙌🏼 Monetary- created a plan on decreasing my debt, listening to financial pod casts, picking up overtime, and got my credit score up by 35 points to far! Intellectual- Going to school right now; so a lot of studying and reading books (right now reading the power of now but Eckhart Tolle, which I highly recommend) Travel- took a solo trip to the mountains, also tried out a local farm yurt, trip to washing next month, have a trip to Zion National Park in September, and New York in December. Social- reconnecting with friends and family, planning to join a meetup group, and hopefully plan to find a clay throwing class. Been 54 days of NC... I’m beginning to finally find myself again. Feeling more comfortable being alone... when I get down or feel alone... I start to listen to Rory’s videos and I reach out to friends and family to get through the moment. Walking really helps or a run if your up to it. Feeling better as time goes on. Thank you again for all the amazing information you provide. Every video has been valuable and it’s helped me get through many many moments and has kept me from breaking no contact. 💙
It’s been 7 months since my break up and I have no desire to get back with my ex (he did reach out on month 4 of no contact). Nonetheless, I still very much enjoy your videos and perspective! I’m still going to embody ‘PERMITS’ as it’s good to nourish even if we’re not going through a break up!
The best way is d-fond memories can linger and keep you in a state of sadness-think about what makes you feel good-what brings a smile to your face-think about his or her flaws what made you sad IN the relationship-meditate-walk a lot-therapy-journaling-all great for healing-keep moving!!!
Ohh Rory your videos saved me.... what I would have done with out your suggestions.... sitting miles away in India it healed me regularly from the devastating pain of break up.. thank u
Hi Rory, I lost my love of my life. My heart was shattered. I been going to the gym, donated my time to veterans and other things. TIme alone will help. I thought I was doing all the right things, but she said I cared to much which was a surprise to me, Two years together came to a end. Working on my self and doing things constructive. Maybe I just took the break up to personal, it's hard to deal with.
I love your videos Rory. This is helpful. And so I love reading the comments in every video because I can see more people feeling the way I do, I see I'm not alone, we are not. And that makes me think about the value we have as individuals, every of us, and that makes me take my ex down of the pedestal she usually is in. It's time to build a great life :)
physical: I am going to the gym and eating ealthy foods (but treating myself from time to time). this began before my relationship even started and ended, during the last 2 years I lost 30 kg. emotional: the most difficult for me rn, I am volunteering with people with down syndrome and having fun doing so, feel better but it's only once a week recreational: I havr a new group of friends, we play board games and go to historical events dressed in medieval costumes monetary:currently getting my bachelor, looking for a job intellectual: studying things I like (spanish literature). social: meet with this group of friends at least once a week. now that this list it's written, I realize I should do more for the intellectual and rmotional sides. suggestions?
By far Rory one of your best and most important videos so far.. thanks for everything bro.. you are making your mark by changing people's lives in HUGE WAYS!!
Thank you so much for this video. I rent a place at the beach..a dream that i Always had and its being amazing. Sometimes i get said but I'm meeting new people focusing on my projects of work and my dreams and my physical health. I'm trying to enjoy every moment..sometimes it's hard but every day I get a little better.
Thanks for doing these videos. Healing what I’m trying to work on currently and I know it takes a lot of time but it’s so important. I believe the root of the break up came from my ex girlfriends un healed past hurts and wounds and had nothing to do with me. It still hurts every day but I’m working hard on myself and I know that no matter what happens I win. It’s a sad situation but I can only control what I do. I’m trying to work on playing guitar more and being in the company of good folks. Appreciate you Rory.
Hi! For intellectual I intend to take a conversation course to practice Italian. For physical, I am doing Moksha yoga and walking. For social, I am taking tango lessons and signed up for a cooking course. For emotional, I journal but sometimes a good scream helps. For travel, I am aiming to visit Tuscany because I miss Italy.
Hah:) check check check. Just went to Prague, for yoga lessons. While there walked 13-17 km a day and read Milan Kundera’s “Farewell party”. It does help.
what i did after my breakup; I am from Norway and i am taking a semester in Buenos Aires, Argentina.. and it helped me so much to get over the girl. i learned so much here and i earned so many new experiences by travelling to Buenos Aires.
I personally simply spent more time with friends, did a LOT more sport, reconnected with old friends again, find new friends, give more effort into work and school, meeting new girls, read more books(anything) Also, I recently started to have a casual relationship with one of my best friends with the main focus being still friends that simply end up having sex sometimes. No restrictions, but still the feeling of appreciation of another person. She also now involved her best friend and now we three have a casual threeway relationship and enjoy it very much since we all really like each other. I think that after a long relationship with infidelity involved,sth more relaxed and less involved can really help in these situations
It has been the third month we broke up. I have tried to do yoga, read new books, arrange traveling with friends, hang out with friends more than before.. But there are days I still miss him very much and want him back.. There’s not even contact between us anymore. Maybe I don’t try harder..
All boxes checkt but 5 months in I tankt, this week I'm back on square 1. Was feeling fricking amazing, old trip with the ex triggers it. Was my first try to say I Love her, :/ I know it's my mind's last attempt to hold on, looking forward for my trip to Australia in October :) thanks for everything Rory -started lifting with my dad social get to know my dad for first time -therapy -jornal -social old friends, new,family -started old hobby painting - challenging my self every week do something I was afraid of and had fun doing it. -boddyflight for the ruch :) --advanct at work teamleader next week :) -did creag kenets workbooks 1-7 Gona start 7-10 when I need them -i know now I'm worth something and it makes me happy
Physical - Pilates and yoga. Continue to eat an anti inflammatory diet. Emotional - continue to sit in the discomfort with my emotions instead of repressing. Reach out for support Intellectual - read self improvement books, research natural ways to heal chronic pain, and continue to work on my craft as an actress Monetary - still seeking employment after a year unfortunately. Recently losing my health, as well as lost my insurance. 😓 Continue to find a steady job. Obtain insurance and structure a financial plan for costs to begin the process of endo treatment. Recreationally - learn how to apply makeup looks well with my features Travel - Driving myself to auditions Social - Develop new friendships. Try to initiate for men to approach me with romantic interest again, even though I don’t want to. I really think that will be my biggest struggle is allowing myself to be vulnerable.
3 weeks since the breakup and he reached out for Easter. Said he just wanted to be friends and I agreed, but don’t plan on giving it any energy. I’ve been working on myself and since, he sends me snaps daily, and tags me in on funny stuff on social media. We are long distance which is why I agreed to friends. Rory, is this only going to make it worse for me in the long run to possible get him back??? Do I go back into No Contact? He is reaching out on his own tho but it’s just friendly stuff.
Physical I started hitting the gym super hard pushing myself trying different workouts now I'm able to do 5 pull ups without help and started incorporating tire flips into my workout. Emotional I listen to Ted talks to understanding why we are so hard on our self. I study the break up and the relationship to a whole understanding why she left and where things went wrong between us. I have a lot to work on my biggest thing us trusting myself when there is a problem but also speaking up and telling my partner how i feel. Recreational I go on walks on the weekend. I want to try zip lining that looks fun. Oh yeah I got back inor photography and eventually I want to start filming again. Monetary I'm working on my emergency saving account also I want to learn more about investing and stocks. Intellectual I'm reading a booked called attached I learned that I have anxious attachment and I decided to pay for online class called skill share there so many online video that can teach you different skills from photography to marketing yourself. Travel I plan on going to new Orleans this fall and I try to at least once every other month plan a day trip with my friends. Social well I ask everybody I come in contact with hows there day going. I try to have conversations with females to re build my confidence that was destroyed during the break up its been working for me I'm less nervous and I feel better. Hopefully when I'm ready I can enter the dating world again.
greetings from México city!, everything you say sounds amazing, but its kinda difficult for me since i was diagnosed with panic attack disorder :( so small things like going out or meet new people now seems imposible... im not thinking in getting back my ex anymore, i just want to heal... have you ever had any patient like me that you were able to help? Do you have Any special advise for people like me?
If I had to do 3 things everyday that would really help in this situation (especially to build confidance after a breakup) what would you reccomend it would be ?
My ex blocked and unblocked me after 3 weeks of NC on WhatsApp. I know her and I know that she’s stubborn and maybe this was her way to do the first step. So after 1 week i decided to send the first text just to take some news. She responded that she didn’t know that I was unblocked that is because of the application’s update and she didn’t even notice that I was unblocked... Man that hurt because after that she block me again...
My ex even cry a lot( 1 hour ), but she decided to break up with me. Acctually depend on the reasons of the break up. If it can not fix, it means no choice to continue. My ex will go to study oversea, and she wanted to stop before she go, acctually her emotions also go down, not same before. So I tried to do everything, but we still can not continue. 2 months I can not stop thinking about her every second, but I don't have any chance
How to tell your ex you changer and your a different person .....what is your blocked social media and blocked your calls how is she gonna know you changed how can I show her ? Should I leave a. Voice mail...or white a letter plz help me
Stay strong, why they blocked you and if they are mad at you, it will pass, the story will change and she will realise it's not all you, She will get curious eventually, give her the gift.. of missing you too!.
Guys and girls can I ask something? (from Uk) So I broke up with my ex in early January, (I initiated it after an argument in meeting up, I felt frustrated.. silly I know) after a while of begging and pleading.. again stupid.. but I admit to my mistake, it just didn't work. Anyway after we spoke last on text, me saying goodbye and that (she didn't respond) i got a call from her at 6:22am the next day, missed it, i wrote back saying *sorry I missed your call, call me again whenever* also I wrote *i know you wouldn't have called me unless it was an emergency or something important, hope everythings ok* .... anyway.. no response... and again I was generally worried and anxiety got the best of me I decided to call her at 6pm to find out, she didn't pick up and instantly sent me a message, *please stop calling me*, to which I replied *you called me this morning?* her: *if I did then sorry, it must've been by accident* Me: *I think we both know it wasn't by accident but ok, Please can you delete my number so it doesn't accidently happen again as I was worried* and it ended there. first off let me just say i don't believe it was accident at all, reason being, it was a full call (rang the full length) also i didn't recieve a voicemail which is what happens when someone pocket dials, I get a muffled sounding voicemail, what's happened here is she ended the call after I didn't pick up and before it went to voicemail. so that's my problem, I don't know what she's thinking, I've spoken to people and they seem to think it was a moment of weakness or just simply missed me too much at that point, but regained her composure and thought it was a mistake hence pretending to not know she called. Thoughts about this, And thank you everyone for taking the time.
I love you Rory but I’m starting to not need the videos as much anymore. It has been almost five months and I’m starting to, I guess, accept what happened and I’m like indifferent. Is that good or bad? I still miss him but I am living my life
it is how it's happening to me too. it's just that sometimes I have "one of those days" in which I miss him so much like it's the first day of NC, with tears and everything, but the day after that it's a little bit easier. i think it's the normal process of grieving
Yes exactly a random day out of a couple of weeks I’ll feel sad about the loss of my ex but more days of feeling like I’m the catch and what he missed out on. I was watching video 29, that’s how I feel. The seesaw, can we do another seesaw video like that please. In video 29, the time frame was early 1-3 months. Rory I know after six months after his ex reached out he was not feeling it anymore either. I’d like a video of the feeling that are normal during the teeter todding during this time. Although I need these videos less I do like to watch the videos now about the “indifferent stage” of the process. Is this is beginning of healing or have I been healing and just now realized it? Y’all have been the best venting group since the break up. So thankful for everyone and of course my favorite coach Rory
Honestly Rory, you changed my life. If it wasn’t for you id never look deep into healing with growing & doing things for myself. Since my break up 8 months ago of 6 years, I’ve lost weight(keto & exercise), traveled, seen a counselor (just to see what it was about), began saving $, started my blog, began my side job with a makeup company I believe in, meditate when i can, get out in nature, plan dates with friends, read more & Im making my bucket list & will start checking those off my list! Losing someone is hard but gaining your self-worth & love is what helps you heal & grow. So thank you again for all you do!
3 years later update: Because I did all the above with everything I learned from Rory I have been in a healthy loving relationship the past 2 years with someone that has the same goals & life morals as I! I never thought I could find love again after my breakup but with finding yourself & working on you, all is possible! Thank you again Rory hope all is well!
@@sommerazzo1585 hello there. Many thanks for your comment and update. I am in the place now where you were 3 years ago. This has given me strength, really appreciate it. Thank you and I am glad you’re doing well now.
How to heal? start by understanding you are not grieving the loss of the person you are grieving the loss of the story the story you were living you miss the feelings you had in that particular story start a new story and new feeling will arise.
I didn't say it will be easy it took me a year and half indulging into my thoughts and feelings and alot of soul searching to come to that realisation. My comment is to able others to start a process and with much healing the process is not as long in saying that it may be a lot longer.
@Jamie Oliveoil and that's the kind of negative attitude you should not be putting out but it's ok, I forgive you your hurting.
He was my best story in my life so far... (eventhough it ended with a breakup :( )
Physical : going to the gym, swimming and bouldering
Emotional : reading alot of blogs to understand the breakup. Talk alot about it to friends and family.
Recreational : walking my dog, reading books, game once in a while
monetary : i have a very Well paid job.
Intellectual : reading books, might start psychology course since i am very interested in it.
Travel : planning a trip to Croatia this summer to go climbing, doubting to join a single Vacation group to go surfing in Portugal.
social : picked up old contacts, and have my friends over alot.
Rory, thank you for our time today. Chatting with you has put many thnings into perspective. And the best way to heal is to DECIDE to move on, and to not focus or look back. Everything we've talked about is stuff has made me realize a lot of things. Again, thank you for the advice and I am choosing to move on. Yes, it will take time but I will heal and time is on my side. And the best things in life come unexpectedly. You're awesome, take care!
Also, HELLO UA-cam give this guy a creator award! Totally deserves it!
You need to celebrate your wins and give yourself credit, by doing this will help you get through the tough times you will face in the future.
Notification squad here. Keep the videos coming, they're helpful.
Just wanted to say I've just came off a call this evening with Rory. Anyone who wants to feel better, I promise you this is the way to go. I feel like a new man
Life is happening now. Those are your words and I am moving forward with it. While the breakup was beyond my control, my life, health, happiness are mine to steer. There are moments of doubts but I no longer dwell on it. Thank you for doing what you do.
It has been 7 months since my breakup. Wish I discovered this channel rather than Brad Browning. Things could have been so different with your advice Rory!
Been on a trip this passed weekend with one of my dearest friends. Today was tough because I was alone for the first time and days and missed my ex a hell of a lot. I really did love her, still do. I wish she could realize, wish I could tell her one more time, but no contact is your advice Rory and I will stick with that!!! Thanks for the videos Brother!
Gustav Building Tech better late than never! :)
It's good to be alone, that's when you have to confront your own thoughts instead of running away from them or ignoring them. Don't keep on telling girls/dates/girlfriends how much you love them ALL THE TIME - us girls want strong men who show us they love us (and occasionally say it) but not all the time because we don't want DOORMATS! We want strong and confident men (who don't need reassurance all the time). You're doing great Gustav, continue focusing on yourself and your goals and ambitions
Any update?
It's been a year since I've heard from her. One year of No Contact, after eight years together. Seems like she'll never be back. It still hurts, and I still think of her a lot, every day. She hurt me more than I've ever been hurt, but somehow, I still love her.
Isn't it crazy to think some ex's will come back even though the relationship might have been a few months to a year, Yet yours was 8 years!. It kinda makes me feel like my ex of 4 months won't come back.
Carl Mauch hang in there! I feel the same.. its been 8 months NC.. 6 years together.. ive worked on myself im at a happy place just miss him so much still & its scary to think ill never see him ever again :(
You have to understand that the person who caused you this pain is not the person who can take this pain back.
One of the biggest things that has and, still is helping me is helping others. A friend of mine also went through a break up and I truly felt better after offering some support and being there. I'm a social person and can strike up a convo with just about anyone. In that sense its a bit easier for me, but its really healing for me. Thanks for the videos Rory, that person now watches your channel as well. Thanks for being you bro, and shout out to all the hurt hearts in here, don't worry all this pain is setting you up for the real person that's suppose to be in your life. God Bless!
I now help others too, and am also about to start studying psychotherapy.
@@anewman1976 something ive looked into myself. Best of luck to you man !
I had a coaching session with THE LEGEND aka Rory !!! Thank you so much Rory !!! You are a blessing , so glad to had talk to you, all i needed :)
Great working with you, Raul!
According to this, I’ll be viewer number 69. Cheers to everyone, gonna be a great week.
Hi Rory, thank you so much for the coaching today, I have a clearer understanding of what is happening and I really appreciate your no BS answers . Thank you so much for what you do
I'm a truck driver and the most stressful thing in my life right now is the company I work for. I recently went and added on more endorsements to my license and now I am going to improve myself by finding a better job and that's my motivation right now
ua-cam.com/video/kfM0v0S97X0/v-deo.html check out this guy
The most healing thing I have done through the entire process that started a year and a half ago is to learn about attachment styles. Something so crucial to understand ourselves and our past partners should be mandatory curriculum at high schools, and would prevent lot of pain in the adulthood. That helped tremendously. That, and this naughty thought: 'Apart from the unbearable pain of having lost a potential life partner...what about the incredibly fun stuff I can do from now on? The unexpected adventures I can embark on that otherwise I would have missed while being with her? Because now I am left with no freaking option but to try them all!'
Wow, this is perfect. This video reminded me of the fact that there really is much more to life which we obviously tend to forget during times of heartbreak. There's literally so much stuff I subconsciously knew I wanted to do before getting caught up in putting my entire precious energy, love, time and focus into this one-sided relationship that I finally decided to end recently. Until now I didn't even know how to get over him and felt stuck, but due to this video I'm honestly mindblown by and reminded of my talents, interests, goals all over again right now. Thank you so much Rory, I found your channel a few weeks ago and you have been succeeding in putting me back on track ever since! :)
The advice in this video for healing and moving on, and all of your other similar videos are applicable not just for romantic breakups, but for any other painful or unfortunate events that happens to us humans.
I am going through a friendship breakup right now which I’m really struggling to deal with, and your advice is helping me a lot. I’m so so grateful for the work you’re doing.
Thank you so much, and keep going. You’re doing great! ❤
Rory, thank you so much for this video. I listened to your channel extensively a few years ago when I found myself struggling with a break up. It was incredibly helpful and healing for me, I'm so glad it was there when I needed it. After following the advice in this video I found myself in the best place of my life mentally, not needing validation from others and a lack of insecurity I've never had before. I also was in the best shape of my life, even better than high school and I found myself attracting strangers like I never had. Unfortunately I let COVID become an excuse and I reverted to bad habits (drinking) and I regressed in many areas I had worked so hard to improve, including gaining the weight I had lost and the confidence I had built. I'm also going through another break up with the person I had met immediately before COVID and I found myself feeling the need to revisit this channel after many years. I'm so thankful for these videos. I know I can get through this because I've done all the work before and am actually grateful for the split because it's motivating me to reflect internally again and make the changes in my life I need to get back on a healthy path of self growth.
I just landed my dream job and a major tech company! So excited to move to a new place, learn more about what I’m interested in, and earn more money too!
Hi Rory, I’ve been watching(listening to) your videos for a while and I’m personally going thru a breakup.
When you said “I’m planning a trip to Japan”, my jaw dropped and I wish I could meet you and talk to you in person! Thank you so much for your videos :)
Physical - Working out, eating healthier, stop smoking cigarettes, sleep better.
Emotional - Psychiatric visit(s), venting.
Recreational - Watching UA-cam, hanging out with friends, playing violin.
Monetary - Saving $250 each paycheck for a car, only call off if i really need to.
Intellectual - Reading books, watching lectures.
Travel - Leave the country in 2020.
Social - Hanging out with friends, calling people on the phone more often rather than texting.
Maybe your best video to date, very helpful and infotmative. I don't need it anymore luckily, but it repeats and deepens many things I've learned from you and may it help many people. Thank you Rory, you really helped me to heal over the past months, I'm glad I've found you.
As for what I did:
Physical: I started running again and walk and hike a lot, lost 5 kg in 4 months ^^
Emotional: I read and watched many books/posts/blogs/videos about relatiinships and break ups, including Rorys videos, and learned what went wrong, how to get over it and what to do better next time. And I spoke to loved ones a lot about my feelings.
Recreational: I started playing games I've put on hold again, reading books, drawing more, playing the drums and joining 2 new orchestras, just stuff I enjoy and kinda put back for the relationship.
Monetary: I treated myself some stuff with some leftover money I had, now I'm saving to get a healthy and stable ground.
Intelectual: I'm very invested in my studies, and my head is very active with and overflowing with ideas, I'm no longer soely focused on my ex.
Travel: I went for holydays at the beach with my family and do little weekend travels here and there, maybe I'll do a biger journy somwhere in the future.
Social: I reconnected with old friends and relatives as well as met many new people, including some love interests. I'm way more confident and open socially.
Wherever you are on jour journy through and after a break up, stay strong and don't give up! It sucks, it hurts, it makes you question evrerything. Been there, done that. There will be light again, you're amaizing and awesome, never forget that, good luck!
Thank you Rory, you have the most soothing voice makes me feel like everything will be okay
Thank you Rory for our chat earlier.
Physical - Walking and stretching (bad ankle so much more than that makes me limp horribly)
Emotional - Writing, Poetry, Talking to friends
Recreational - Walking more I love nature, so more of that, Reading, games and movies
monetary: Save more.
Intellectual: Reading, learning more about behaviors
Travel: Well I travel alot now, but I never get to actually enjoy some places, so I like to plan a trip to Costa Rica or Sedona, Az
especially once restrictions end
Social : Friends, meeting new people and talking to some old friends
Yes! I love it! Great work, Jackie!
Physically- running, hiking, yoga, and working out. Lost 10 pounds so far and plan to continue towards my goals.
Emotionally- meditation! Journaling. Started the morning sidekick journal, which I recommend. Listening to a ton of self help videos. Planning to set up time with a counselor.
Recreational- cooking plant based meals, painting, having art days with mom :), off roading, got my first tattoo! Disneyland 🙌🏼
Monetary- created a plan on decreasing my debt, listening to financial pod casts, picking up overtime, and got my credit score up by 35 points to far!
Intellectual- Going to school right now; so a lot of studying and reading books (right now reading the power of now but Eckhart Tolle, which I highly recommend)
Travel- took a solo trip to the mountains, also tried out a local farm yurt, trip to washing next month, have a trip to Zion National Park in September, and New York in December.
Social- reconnecting with friends and family, planning to join a meetup group, and hopefully plan to find a clay throwing class.
Been 54 days of NC... I’m beginning to finally find myself again. Feeling more comfortable being alone... when I get down or feel alone... I start to listen to Rory’s videos and I reach out to friends and family to get through the moment. Walking really helps or a run if your up to it. Feeling better as time goes on.
Thank you again for all the amazing information you provide. Every video has been valuable and it’s helped me get through many many moments and has kept me from breaking no contact. 💙
Sounds like you're keeping yourself busy. Awesome strategy. Keep it up, you`ll you'll be a success in whatever you want to accomplish in your life.
It’s been 7 months since my break up and I have no desire to get back with my ex (he did reach out on month 4 of no contact). Nonetheless, I still very much enjoy your videos and perspective! I’m still going to embody ‘PERMITS’ as it’s good to nourish even if we’re not going through a break up!
INTELLECTUALLY- I intend to learn sign language. Thanks Rory.
The best way is d-fond memories can linger and keep you in a state of sadness-think about what makes you feel good-what brings a smile to your face-think about his or her flaws what made you sad IN the relationship-meditate-walk a lot-therapy-journaling-all great for healing-keep moving!!!
Drugs
Ohh Rory your videos saved me.... what I would have done with out your suggestions.... sitting miles away in India it healed me regularly from the devastating pain of break up.. thank u
I know I said in a comment on one of your previous videos that it was one of your best... But got to say this one is even better. Thank you.
Hi Rory, I lost my love of my life. My heart was shattered. I been going to the gym, donated my time to veterans and other things. TIme alone will help. I thought I was doing all the right things, but she said I cared to much which was a surprise to me, Two years together came to a end. Working on my self and doing things constructive. Maybe I just took the break up to personal, it's hard to deal with.
I love your videos Rory. This is helpful. And so I love reading the comments in every video because I can see more people feeling the way I do, I see I'm not alone, we are not. And that makes me think about the value we have as individuals, every of us, and that makes me take my ex down of the pedestal she usually is in.
It's time to build a great life :)
Starting with forcing a work out routine, already started reconnecting with old friends and I need to focus on letting it all go.
Thank you for all that you do! Great video. It was a pleasure speaking with you today
You too, Danielle! You did a great job!
I plan to take a solo trip to Seattle. It’s time for me to rewrite my memories.
physical: I am going to the gym and eating ealthy foods (but treating myself from time to time). this began before my relationship even started and ended, during the last 2 years I lost 30 kg.
emotional: the most difficult for me rn, I am volunteering with people with down syndrome and having fun doing so, feel better but it's only once a week
recreational: I havr a new group of friends, we play board games and go to historical events dressed in medieval costumes
monetary:currently getting my bachelor, looking for a job
intellectual: studying things I like (spanish literature).
social: meet with this group of friends at least once a week.
now that this list it's written, I realize I should do more for the intellectual and rmotional sides. suggestions?
Thank you for the work you do! I've been recommending your video / podcast alot!
Thank you Rory. For making my healing process possible. #from_Malaysia
By far Rory one of your best and most important videos so far.. thanks for everything bro.. you are making your mark by changing people's lives in HUGE WAYS!!
Thank you so much for this video. I rent a place at the beach..a dream that i Always had and its being amazing. Sometimes i get said but I'm meeting new people focusing on my projects of work and my dreams and my physical health. I'm trying to enjoy every moment..sometimes it's hard but every day I get a little better.
Thanks for doing these videos. Healing what I’m trying to work on currently and I know it takes a lot of time but it’s so important. I believe the root of the break up came from my ex girlfriends un healed past hurts and wounds and had nothing to do with me. It still hurts every day but I’m working hard on myself and I know that no matter what happens I win. It’s a sad situation but I can only control what I do. I’m trying to work on playing guitar more and being in the company of good folks.
Appreciate you Rory.
Hi! For intellectual I intend to take a conversation course to practice Italian. For physical, I am doing Moksha yoga and walking. For social, I am taking tango lessons and signed up for a cooking course. For emotional, I journal but sometimes a good scream helps. For travel, I am aiming to visit Tuscany because I miss Italy.
Hah:) check check check. Just went to Prague, for yoga lessons. While there walked 13-17 km a day and read Milan Kundera’s “Farewell party”. It does help.
Great Tips, Thank You Rory!
Thank you you really are helping me get through this thank you again 👏
I can't motivate myself to do any of these things. It's hard to get out of a rut.
I know..
First!! Love your videos Rory thanks!!
what i did after my breakup; I am from Norway and i am taking a semester in Buenos Aires, Argentina.. and it helped me so much to get over the girl. i learned so much here and i earned so many new experiences by travelling to Buenos Aires.
You got some grt ideas ...thank u!!
Thanks rory bro
Needed this .
5:23 I feel ATTACKED Rory 😭
I personally simply spent more time with friends, did a LOT more sport, reconnected with old friends again, find new friends, give more effort into work and school, meeting new girls, read more books(anything)
Also, I recently started to have a casual relationship with one of my best friends with the main focus being still friends that simply end up having sex sometimes. No restrictions, but still the feeling of appreciation of another person. She also now involved her best friend and now we three have a casual threeway relationship and enjoy it very much since we all really like each other.
I think that after a long relationship with infidelity involved,sth more relaxed and less involved can really help in these situations
Waiting for the video where you will suggest some books to read!! But What one book will you recommend to someone going through a break up?
"The Subtle Art of not giving a F*CK" - Mark Manson
It has been the third month we broke up. I have tried to do yoga, read new books, arrange traveling with friends, hang out with friends more than before.. But there are days I still miss him very much and want him back.. There’s not even contact between us anymore. Maybe I don’t try harder..
All boxes checkt but 5 months in I tankt, this week I'm back on square 1. Was feeling fricking amazing, old trip with the ex triggers it. Was my first try to say I Love her, :/ I know it's my mind's last attempt to hold on, looking forward for my trip to Australia in October :) thanks for everything Rory
-started lifting with my dad social get to know my dad for first time
-therapy
-jornal
-social old friends, new,family
-started old hobby painting
- challenging my self every week do something I was afraid of and had fun doing it.
-boddyflight for the ruch :)
--advanct at work teamleader next week :)
-did creag kenets workbooks 1-7 Gona start 7-10 when I need them
-i know now I'm worth something and it makes me happy
First week in Australia was hard, but now I'm working out here aswell, had a date with a beautiful German girl so I'm fine. I'm happy 3000 finally
Physical - Pilates and yoga. Continue to eat an anti inflammatory diet.
Emotional - continue to sit in the discomfort with my emotions instead of repressing. Reach out for support
Intellectual - read self improvement books, research natural ways to heal chronic pain, and continue to work on my craft as an actress
Monetary - still seeking employment after a year unfortunately. Recently losing my health, as well as lost my insurance. 😓 Continue to find a steady job. Obtain insurance and structure a financial plan for costs to begin the process of endo treatment.
Recreationally - learn how to apply makeup looks well with my features
Travel - Driving myself to auditions
Social - Develop new friendships. Try to initiate for men to approach me with romantic interest again, even though I don’t want to. I really think that will be my biggest struggle is allowing myself to be vulnerable.
3 weeks since the breakup and he reached out for Easter. Said he just wanted to be friends and I agreed, but don’t plan on giving it any energy. I’ve been working on myself and since, he sends me snaps daily, and tags me in on funny stuff on social media. We are long distance which is why I agreed to friends. Rory, is this only going to make it worse for me in the long run to possible get him back??? Do I go back into No Contact? He is reaching out on his own tho but it’s just friendly stuff.
Physical I started hitting the gym super hard pushing myself trying different workouts now I'm able to do 5 pull ups without help and started incorporating tire flips into my workout.
Emotional I listen to Ted talks to understanding why we are so hard on our self. I study the break up and the relationship to a whole understanding why she left and where things went wrong between us. I have a lot to work on my biggest thing us trusting myself when there is a problem but also speaking up and telling my partner how i feel.
Recreational I go on walks on the weekend. I want to try zip lining that looks fun. Oh yeah I got back inor photography and eventually I want to start filming again.
Monetary I'm working on my emergency saving account also I want to learn more about investing and stocks.
Intellectual I'm reading a booked called attached I learned that I have anxious attachment and I decided to pay for online class called skill share there so many online video that can teach you different skills from photography to marketing yourself.
Travel I plan on going to new Orleans this fall and I try to at least once every other month plan a day trip with my friends.
Social well I ask everybody I come in contact with hows there day going. I try to have conversations with females to re build my confidence that was destroyed during the break up its been working for me I'm less nervous and I feel better. Hopefully when I'm ready I can enter the dating world again.
It's tough. 3 months since the breakup an it's on my mind daily. I have done the work. But would do anything for them to just reach out.
greetings from México city!, everything you say sounds amazing, but its kinda difficult for me since i was diagnosed with panic attack disorder :( so small things like going out or meet new people now seems imposible... im not thinking in getting back my ex anymore, i just want to heal... have you ever had any patient like me that you were able to help? Do you have Any special advise for people like me?
You'll want to break these down into smaller more manageable steps, even baby steps are still a step forward!
If I had to do 3 things everyday that would really help in this situation (especially to build confidance after a breakup) what would you reccomend it would be ?
idea for next video : " when to accept your ex? ". For example I would accept my ex back just if she changed. But how can I know if she changed?
My ex blocked and unblocked me after 3 weeks of NC on WhatsApp. I know her and I know that she’s stubborn and maybe this was her way to do the first step. So after 1 week i decided to send the first text just to take some news. She responded that she didn’t know that I was unblocked that is because of the application’s update and she didn’t even notice that I was unblocked... Man that hurt because after that she block me again...
Question for next video!
What happens if she breaks up with you and you both cry? Any chances at getting back together? Should you go into no contact?
My ex even cry a lot( 1 hour ), but she decided to break up with me. Acctually depend on the reasons of the break up. If it can not fix, it means no choice to continue. My ex will go to study oversea, and she wanted to stop before she go, acctually her emotions also go down, not same before. So I tried to do everything, but we still can not continue. 2 months I can not stop thinking about her every second, but I don't have any chance
PERMITS......lovely !
How to tell your ex you changer and your a different person .....what is your blocked social media and blocked your calls how is she gonna know you changed how can I show her ? Should I leave a. Voice mail...or white a letter plz help me
I'm doing a video on this, from now just leave them be!
Stay strong, why they blocked you and if they are mad at you, it will pass, the story will change and she will realise it's not all you, She will get curious eventually, give her the gift.. of missing you too!.
Guys and girls can I ask something?
(from Uk)
So I broke up with my ex in early January, (I initiated it after an argument in meeting up, I felt frustrated.. silly I know) after a while of begging and pleading.. again stupid.. but I admit to my mistake, it just didn't work.
Anyway after we spoke last on text, me saying goodbye and that (she didn't respond) i got a call from her at 6:22am the next day, missed it, i wrote back saying *sorry I missed your call, call me again whenever* also I wrote *i know you wouldn't have called me unless it was an emergency or something important, hope everythings ok* .... anyway.. no response... and again I was generally worried and anxiety got the best of me I decided to call her at 6pm to find out, she didn't pick up and instantly sent me a message, *please stop calling me*, to which I replied *you called me this morning?* her: *if I did then sorry, it must've been by accident* Me: *I think we both know it wasn't by accident but ok, Please can you delete my number so it doesn't accidently happen again as I was worried* and it ended there.
first off let me just say i don't believe it was accident at all, reason being, it was a full call (rang the full length) also i didn't recieve a voicemail which is what happens when someone pocket dials, I get a muffled sounding voicemail, what's happened here is she ended the call after I didn't pick up and before it went to voicemail.
so that's my problem, I don't know what she's thinking, I've spoken to people and they seem to think it was a moment of weakness or just simply missed me too much at that point, but regained her composure and thought it was a mistake hence pretending to not know she called. Thoughts about this, And thank you everyone for taking the time.
I love you Rory but I’m starting to not need the videos as much anymore. It has been almost five months and I’m starting to, I guess, accept what happened and I’m like indifferent. Is that good or bad? I still miss him but I am living my life
All a part of the healing process!
it is how it's happening to me too. it's just that sometimes I have "one of those days" in which I miss him so much like it's the first day of NC, with tears and everything, but the day after that it's a little bit easier. i think it's the normal process of grieving
Yes exactly a random day out of a couple of weeks I’ll feel sad about the loss of my ex but more days of feeling like I’m the catch and what he missed out on. I was watching video 29, that’s how I feel. The seesaw, can we do another seesaw video like that please. In video 29, the time frame was early 1-3 months. Rory I know after six months after his ex reached out he was not feeling it anymore either. I’d like a video of the feeling that are normal during the teeter todding during this time.
Although I need these videos less I do like to watch the videos now about the “indifferent stage” of the process. Is this is beginning of healing or have I been healing and just now realized it?
Y’all have been the best venting group since the break up. So thankful for everyone and of course my favorite coach Rory
Im doing almost everything. But monitary is a bit short... 😫
All in good time!
First!!!
watching Family Guy
First
Wall-E got you beat by 14 seconds!