My dad ruined my marriage…should I cut him off? | Reddit Stories

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  • Опубліковано 27 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 226

  • @valentinanoccioli8116
    @valentinanoccioli8116 9 місяців тому +65

    32:00 She Is discussing with her children about his behaviour on the ALL family, children included. She aknowledge them and comprehend them in her decision. Absolutely a GREEN FLAG

    • @champagne4bfast
      @champagne4bfast 8 місяців тому +5

      Agreed. I can understand and relate to potentially staying in the relationship if the kids are happy and feel that their dad is loving. She was still on the fence…

    • @tammysullivan9065
      @tammysullivan9065 10 днів тому +2

      For sure! Kids are smarter than most give them credit for. They can sense things aren’t right.

    • @vm7151
      @vm7151 7 днів тому

      Exactly! Also, the father could have potential blow-up when given the news of divorce and the kids will see this, they at least understand why the behavior is going on

  • @dont_call_me_kimmy
    @dont_call_me_kimmy 8 місяців тому +21

    Sam’s reaction to the kids believing the husband that missed his wife’s birthday dinner just didn’t want to spend time with them was a well-timed wake-up call for me today. I get very concerned about my kid feeling that way about their dad, but am frequently told I’m overreacting. I really needed to hear someone else say that was really not okay. Thank you!

  • @terrieBTSOT7
    @terrieBTSOT7 9 місяців тому +183

    Saying it's inappropriate is saying NO. Period. Don't read between the lines. Its very uncomfortable for women to say no to a man asking them out or coming on to them. We never know what the reaction will be when we decline. We often say no in a kind, or an "I am sorry" kind of way.

    • @alexiatr
      @alexiatr 9 місяців тому +37

      Specially after hearing how this family and group of friends, they sound very intimidating. They scream toxic masculinity

    • @aveleedeleon7694
      @aveleedeleon7694 9 місяців тому +7

      Im not so sure “toxic masculinity” is a real thing. There are varying degrees of masculinity, as there is femininity, and then there is toxic behavior regardless of sex. I think it’s a word used by the “establishment” to set us against one another, just like there is for race, religion, class, even looks, weight and intelligence. We need to come together and learn to love one another. It’s the only way to create a better world. Much💞

    • @terrieBTSOT7
      @terrieBTSOT7 9 місяців тому +6

      @aveleedeleon7694 I said nothing about toxic masculinity. I stated that they should not read between the lines of her response when she declined.

    • @TheAnonymousuchiha1225
      @TheAnonymousuchiha1225 9 місяців тому +1

      @@aveleedeleon7694 I think toxic masculinity contextually means them showing signs of homophobia, misogyny, and violent domination. They’re known to be unemotional, narcissistic, power-hungry, and violent. It can also lead to domestic abuse, gender-based violence, gun violence, rape culture, and sexual assault.

    • @YesIlikebananasSo
      @YesIlikebananasSo 9 місяців тому +3

      @@terrieBTSOT7they’re referring to the person in the reply above theirs, not you.

  • @jedimando9258
    @jedimando9258 9 місяців тому +24

    In regard to the mom telling the kids about the impending divorce I'm actually going to give that a green flag. My parents are divorced, from personal experience it helped being told in advance it will happen, having a divorce sprung onto the kids usually just when the custody issues take place will yank the rug out from anyone.

  • @JadeLwoj
    @JadeLwoj 9 місяців тому +144

    First story: He’s not an AH for believing their campaign, but he IS an AH for the red pill way he conducted himself afterward. But absolutely all the points to him for acknowledging all of it and I hope the absolute best for him.

    • @justSunny7
      @justSunny7 9 місяців тому +10

      Yeah his actions are his fault.

    • @soulflame9102
      @soulflame9102 9 місяців тому +12

      Exactly what I thought too. No one forced him to talk to his wife like that, to treat her like garbage and spout all that red pill bullshit. He chose to have that reaction instead of trusting her, communicating to her what his family had been saying and give her a chance to defend herself, and her leaving him was the consequence to that

    • @QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse
      @QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse 9 місяців тому +3

      Spot on. I hope he gets serious therapy and stays the hell away from his ex wife. Stuff like this is why men who have zero female friends are a red flag to me.

    • @emilyjohn2034
      @emilyjohn2034 8 місяців тому +1

      I don’t like how much of his post isn’t really taking accountability he mentions his family’s manipulation WAY to much it doesn’t feel like he sees how much of it was his fault. Just because he was manipulated he still allowed himself to be and refused to trust his partner and that’s 100% on him. His actions are 100% his own it doesn’t matter if his family pushed him he still chose to do

    • @Roro99999
      @Roro99999 4 місяці тому

      Because I love love I wanted to truly believed that she was going to taking him back. But she deserves someone 1000% better than him. I know he was manipulated, but still.

  • @EvansClan2009
    @EvansClan2009 8 місяців тому +9

    Green Flag on telling the kids first, given late/absent dad behavior AND the kids are sometimes scared of his day to day reactions…and late dad’s behavior…who knows how late dad will respond or tell the kids.
    The telling part is the kids agreement! Even the kids know it’s not good. I hope late dad doesn’t move from passive aggressive behavior (by being late to things he doesn’t want to) to aggressive outward behavior thats akin to a toddler. He doesn’t respect anyone but himself.

  • @stephaniemartin9253
    @stephaniemartin9253 9 місяців тому +43

    The dad not stepping up and being an active parent has already shown the kids that they don’t need what he isn’t offering. Unfortunately don’t forget she asked him to go to counseling. He is not communicating with her at all about their problems. It might not be ideal that she told the kids first but sometimes that’s just the way it is. They have probably had to parent one another because dad won’t help mom parent them. They’re tired of it .

    • @alexafuqua8727
      @alexafuqua8727 9 місяців тому

      I think when she went to the kids she was mainly seeing what they would say. I feel like she made the decision on the kids instead of making it herself.

  • @tyannalangevin4030
    @tyannalangevin4030 9 місяців тому +59

    In the first story the wife didn't just leave the ex husband but his toxic family as well. Going back to him would have meant potentially opening the door to them and their bs as well. Now that she doesn't have to deal with them why go back? She can just heal and move forward. It's great she encouraged him to heal and move on from them as well.

  • @saidrew1030
    @saidrew1030 11 днів тому +3

    Second story: As a child of divorce myself, i think it's good she informed the kids earlier. It gave them time to accept divorce as a possibility without it blindsiding them. This also gave them the opportunity to open up more about their fathers behavior and how hurt they've felt. Children aren't dumb, and can feel the tension as well. It isn't wrong to have a heart to heart with them to discuss these things.

  • @Rocknrollmumma
    @Rocknrollmumma 7 місяців тому +7

    35:41 I don’t usually disagree with you guys but this time I will. She went to her kids thinking that there was something wrong and they confirmed it. I couldn’t imagine not going to my daughter and staying with a partner and to only find out that she was afraid of him. She did the right thing! I think it’s hard for people to understand when they don’t have kids of their own (and that’s not any shade on anyone who doesn’t have kids!!!). I hope she and her kids are happy and finally feel safe and appreciated!!

  • @witchdragonfly2586
    @witchdragonfly2586 8 місяців тому +6

    When dealing with a potential explosive reaction telling the kids first may be a good idea so they can be prepared and won't be blindsided by their reaction.

  • @HarleenQuinzel3
    @HarleenQuinzel3 2 місяці тому +1

    Therapy needed for that man! The mistrust in people after family treats you that way.

  • @emilyjohn2034
    @emilyjohn2034 8 місяців тому +9

    I highly disagree that “it would be impropriate” translates to “well I would but” because a lot of woman are scared to reject men and tend to use other wording to kinda put the blame elsewhere to prevent getting hurt or assaulted.

  • @PerkiPerkins
    @PerkiPerkins 9 місяців тому +26

    I’ feeling telling the kids how they felt if they divorced is okay. Especially in this case that dad being negligence with the family. OP was able to find out what dad been doing and making the kids scared of him.

  • @adriana27100
    @adriana27100 9 місяців тому +29

    From a woman's perspective, this unfortunately isn't uncommon. Happened with one ex in my 20's, all his friends tried to go out on a date with me for months after. Also my ex husband, while we were married. It happened like 5 times and ended up badly with my ex husband in physical fights. Dirty birds is what I call them!

    • @trashcan2748
      @trashcan2748 8 місяців тому +3

      It reminds me of stories I’ve heard about single women encouraging their taken friends to do stuff that’s bad for their romantic relationships. I’ve thankfully never been involved with any side of this behavior, but it just screams “misery loves company!”

    • @zoeb3573
      @zoeb3573 6 місяців тому +2

      Those are not friends. Did he stay friends with them after?

  • @emeraldpierson9174
    @emeraldpierson9174 9 місяців тому +32

    Sam you DEFINITELY made a rule about practice families

    • @tomboy786
      @tomboy786 9 місяців тому +2

      YEP i can second this

    • @Gomaberry
      @Gomaberry 9 місяців тому +1

      Yup, I can confirm.😂

    • @itsphoebe
      @itsphoebe 9 місяців тому +1

      Saaame. I remember it very clearly. Then for Sam to say Riley’s gaslighting him about it is a gaslight in itself 😂 (mostly joking)

  • @servingcant
    @servingcant 9 місяців тому +36

    Telling the kids before is ok… my parents are currently going through a divorce and my Mom told us before she told my Dad it helped a lot…

    • @Itsselis
      @Itsselis 6 місяців тому

      Depends on context, age, situation, etc

  • @cardinalcar
    @cardinalcar 4 місяці тому

    It heals me to see someone look back on their actions with such clarity, hopefully he takes his learnings as he moves forward

  • @coolteamblt
    @coolteamblt 9 місяців тому +6

    The second he said "high value man" he lost any chance of reconciliation. He's spouting tate bs and he doesn't see the problem

  • @luisarredondo5199
    @luisarredondo5199 8 місяців тому +4

    I completely disagree with the comment about telling the kids first being a red flag because at this point the abusive behavior is being put on the kids and she is making a decision that will affect the whole family. She only checked with the kids to make sure she was doing what was best for them and even the kids agree. I feel if she went to the dad first he would have potentially used the opportunity to further gaslight her further and use the kids against her. I have heard way too many stories of bad parents manipulating kids against good parents and this was her way of avoiding that. At this point her priority is her kids and the husband has made it clear none of her family is a priority

  • @Neyfufu00
    @Neyfufu00 9 місяців тому +5

    49:54 just because someone says that they love you and went along with everyone scheme doesn't mean that love is actually real to her because all she can see is betrayal so the love he feels is immediately no doubt by her thoughts of him going along with it and not telling her when he knew at that time. Just because he says he loves her and find his love real doesn't mean it's real love

  • @nadirimyers6643
    @nadirimyers6643 9 місяців тому +14

    To put into perspective at 10 I vividly remember wishing my parents would get divorced and knowing exactly what that meant. At 10 my brother was consoling his friend about his parents getting divorced by telling him he wished ours would and it made the friend feel better because he knew his parents could either be unhappy together or happy apart. I think it wasn’t great that op told the kids first but I think he was acting so unreasonable that she really had no choice but to let the kids know what’s happening first then do what she gotta do 🤷🏾‍♀️. I feel like you can tell you kids things in a kid friendly way. You can still be a kid and know real life stuff is happening around you. I think it’s good to grow into a sense of awareness about the world obviously not all at once.

  • @a-phx
    @a-phx 9 місяців тому +7

    32:39 In my opinion, that's a green flag because one the kids can prepare for what's going to happen. Two trust me, I came from a broken home kids. Know way more than you think and they can tell when parents don't love each other anymore. It's heartbreaking and hard but realistically. Having that conversation Without the husband was for the best because as they said, they have been afraid of him lately.I don't think that they would have reacted the same way if they were forced to have that conversation with both of them

  • @senselessplace
    @senselessplace 9 місяців тому +7

    Telling kids about divorce before spouse.... I think is OK for this situation. a child IS old enough to understand something is wrong. Adults don't give kids enough credit. "we have to protect the kids' by treating them like they can't understand their Dad refusing to be with them or take them like he promised? dad doesn't love us. that is not hard to understand.

  • @thatslamejehl
    @thatslamejehl 9 місяців тому +46

    Charles didn't want to marry Diane and truly loved Camila. Bad analogy dude

    • @UsandEveryoneWeKnow
      @UsandEveryoneWeKnow 9 місяців тому +2

      Also, we don't arrange marriages in the UK, that's not a thing here. Royal family used to be a bit different, but that's royalty (weird). I feel like they might think we do 😂

    • @dudeorduuude5211
      @dudeorduuude5211 9 місяців тому

      ​@@UsandEveryoneWeKnowunless they thought Indian- British people? I agree, weird they thought that. It wasn't really arranged, but helped along after they started seeing eachother.

    • @zahrai1235
      @zahrai1235 9 місяців тому +2

      @@UsandEveryoneWeKnowi think its an assumption from the historical eras of aristocracy

    • @kendradamm1428
      @kendradamm1428 5 місяців тому

      No, good analogy. If he’s over the ex and not still in love with her, why is he still in touch with her and her son?
      And his family didn’t like his ex at all, which is why they aren’t still together and why he’s with OP

  • @alias-majik
    @alias-majik 5 місяців тому +3

    Calling it an arranged marriage is a real stretch. The parents did their best to make the relationship work, but if either party wasn't on board, it wouldn't have. Its not like anyone was forced into dating (they didnt even hatch this ppan until after they started dating) and all the parents did was... be nice to the partners, and husband's parents helped clear up his weekends and evenings so he could be more available for dates? And they gave him money for a ring, which isnt a huge difference from giving him an heirloom. Ive known other well off families that either paid for or helped pay for an engagement ring. Nothing they did was crazy or out of line.
    OP is freaking out over nothing. She just cant seem to handle that her husband has an ex. I also think its inappropriate for her to ask him to cut ties with the ex's kid, obviously they still have some relationship and husband was at least somewhat impactful on his life in a step father esque type role. Cutting off kids youve bonded with like that can be so harmful to the kid.

    • @elisabettamellano6152
      @elisabettamellano6152 3 місяці тому

      That’s what I’m saying! Shouldn’t you WANT for your in-laws to like you enough that they invite you to family events, are nice to you, and encourage your partner to spend more time with you? Sure, there was some scheming, but ultimately it manifested in them parents being nice to their kid’s partner and they were both free to leave at any point so this is a serious overreaction.

  • @Inyourpalms
    @Inyourpalms 5 місяців тому +2

    not me having watched this episode and still gasping during my rewatch

  • @19nmiller1
    @19nmiller1 9 місяців тому +10

    Sam, she's literally saying no and is doing it in the most graceful way possible. She's saying how inappropriate it is too. Plus, we're getting the knowledge third-hand, because the family is telling OP who's telling us. Also, it's hard to feel bad for OP because he decides to value his family over her. He mentally tortured her for years to try and impress his manipulative, trashy family. OPs ex wife is way too good for them.

    • @emilyjohn2034
      @emilyjohn2034 8 місяців тому +2

      I personally don’t feel like OP is taking enough responsibility. He talks about his family WAY too much. He mentions the manipulation every single time, it’s not “I treated my wife poorly” it’s always “my family made me treat my wife poorly” like sir your actions are still 100% your responsibility you chose to do them. Your family may have pushed you but that means nothing when you acted on that

  • @tedybomber1713
    @tedybomber1713 9 місяців тому +8

    No dude. The wife was calling them out with her statement for what it is.

  • @TwiggyHetfield27
    @TwiggyHetfield27 9 місяців тому +10

    Story 3: I don't understand the "She's Camilla, you're Diana" comment. Especially since Camilla wasn't impoverished. Her grandfather was a Baron, she went to a prestigious girl's school, & she was a debutante. Not only that but didn't Charles basically cheat on Diana with Camilla?? Or is it the "Diana's number 1 & Camilla will always be second best"
    The husband telling OP that it doesn't matter how it started... YEA IT DOES! Their entire relationship was based on lies, manipulation, & deceit! The husband laughing saying "I thought you figured it out when I did" HOW!? His parents have him extra money & gift certificates to take her out, how is she supposed to know that? His parents bought her ring, how was she supposed to know that? He asked his parents if them pushing OP on him was to get him to forget about Val, HOW WAS SHE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!? Everyone in this story is horrible. If I were OP I'd pick up & just leave. Don't contact anyone, just pack & go. No one deserves an explanation. Leave them in the dark like she was.

    • @msdouglas12100
      @msdouglas12100 9 місяців тому +2

      I think it means that Camilla wasn't accepted by the family even though Charles was in love with her.

    • @TwiggyHetfield27
      @TwiggyHetfield27 9 місяців тому +1

      @@msdouglas12100 Ahh gotcha.
      Cuz I was real confused by it. The ex was unemployed etc & I'm like... Camilla DID have status lol

  • @oeurydice
    @oeurydice 9 місяців тому +5

    Not impressed with Sam's comments about the wife in the first story. Rejecting men like that in an aggressive way can be such a huge safety risk.

    • @alias-majik
      @alias-majik 5 місяців тому

      This is what I was thinking. She had to feel the pressure from these guys even before the marriage ended and probably felt threatened by their intense pursuit.

  • @justiceforusall7038
    @justiceforusall7038 5 місяців тому +1

    hilarious that i just watched an episode from 6 hrs ago where Sam and John were saying you dont cut off family.
    i hope this makes the rounds of re-watch. boggles my mind why the hosts dont see that some people just dont need to be in your life. i wonder if they still feel the same about the train wreck that is the first story. 😂

  • @m.ivyluna4632
    @m.ivyluna4632 8 місяців тому +3

    While it’s not ideal to talk to the kids first, that’s also assuming it’s an ideal mutual separation. And most won’t be. A United front is great, if the parents are reliable. But the husband is not. He has made it clear that he does not prioritize his family and ultimately because of that the family now makes decisions without him, including this. I don’t know that I actually agree the kids are too young to understand, on the contrary the kids are ones the dad is hurting the most because they are completely reliant on the parents. The “it’s not you it’s us” can be comforting if the kids have two reliable parents. But in this case “I won’t let him keep letting you down” is a more comforting statement. I think having a conversation with him about priorities and maybe couples counseling first would have been good but like it kinda got past that awhile ago

  • @aunnabarnaby3678
    @aunnabarnaby3678 21 день тому +1

    Yes the husband the AH for not showing to her birthday dinner! She gave him more than enough opportunities to get ready and he didn’t so she left without him!! And rather than understand her POV he just bailed on the dinner and turned it back around on her when she got home!

  • @tracyison2289
    @tracyison2289 9 місяців тому +5

    We must know if the Riley sandwich has happened at the movie theaters! And he better have gotten his special popcorn bucket ❤😂

  • @lissdoyle321
    @lissdoyle321 16 днів тому +1

    Tardy dad- i think mom was a green flag because it was clear it was effecting the kids. By going to the kids first she could find out if more was going on as those kids are old enough to understand dad is missing for important things. The fact those kids noticed the differences too speaks loudly.

  • @soulonfire77
    @soulonfire77 9 місяців тому +5

    Mum probably needed to tell her kids because Dad is toxic and possibly controlling. Mum needs to prepare the kids for his behavior.

  • @katricco3900
    @katricco3900 5 днів тому +1

    I should really just turn this comment into a Reddit story because the second I divorced my husband, my father-in-law while my poor wonderful, amazing mother-in-law was dying of pancreatic. Cancer was begging me to marry him and move to Michigan. My brother-in-law was begging me to marry him, I thought that I was being punked or set up then an uncle/friend of the family started hitting on me. I was like what kind of Thanksgiving dinner do these people think we’re about to have it was insane. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t being set up. They still bother me to this day. what hurts the most is what my father-in-law did. He was literally a father figure to me for 25 years. I had no idea he would turn on me like that in such a weird way. I’m still close with my brother-in-law, but I have to keep reminding him that it’s never gonna happen. The other guy I just blocked him but wow, I never expected that from these people who I was so close to for 25 years they really shocked me.

  • @dcarter455
    @dcarter455 4 дні тому

    I love when Riley uses the chat as his minions to guilt or corner Sam and John!😂😂😂

  • @hayleylow
    @hayleylow 7 місяців тому +1

    The diana and camila analogy was really horrible 😅 but i do think that op’s autism did play a role in her not realizing it was an arrangement. Because from what she was saying, both of their families were actively creating chances for them to be together, like paying for her to go on holiday with their fam, meeting relatives before even proposing, welcoming each other into the fan etc. pretty obvious tbh

  • @vaniateofilo4198
    @vaniateofilo4198 9 місяців тому +6

    Riley selective memory remembering Sam's golden rules but not the day they apologized😂

    • @aveleedeleon7694
      @aveleedeleon7694 9 місяців тому

      They probably didn’t. You don’t forget an apology if it’s sincere and you aren’t toxic yourself.

    • @vaniateofilo4198
      @vaniateofilo4198 9 місяців тому

      @@aveleedeleon7694 I think they did on another video when Riley (rightfully) told them off for their betrayal. It was a while ago, but I remember it because it was quite funny the way John and Sam looked like kids that were caught misbehaving. Cant remember which video tho

  • @erima4270
    @erima4270 9 місяців тому +2

    Really appreciate the video chapters! Thank you, Producer Riley!

  • @ronamayday
    @ronamayday 9 місяців тому +2

    48:00 OP needs marriage counseling. They need to talk out she was manipulated into falling in love with him. He needs to give up his ex.

  • @clarry1305
    @clarry1305 9 місяців тому +11

    My advice after seeing some of the comments here: keep the lives private for members only after streams have ended (maybe only repurposing them for your podcast in so many weeks time possibly at most) so it stays exclusive for them, but post new content on days you don’t stream. That way you’re not overworking yourself by posting new non live content daily, but still have new stuff out for us to enjoy. Love you guys and I look forward to watching you every day xx

  • @jomc6734
    @jomc6734 8 місяців тому +2

    2nd story: the hubby is an AH for always being late. Why does he think everyone else has to wait for him and accommodate his lateness? I hate being late, and it makes me crazy when others are habitually late. It's very rude and inconsiderate.

  • @nousernamesarevalid
    @nousernamesarevalid 8 місяців тому +2

    With the “high value man” statement, she deserves so much better than him. He treated her like trash.

  • @hayliekendall7995
    @hayliekendall7995 9 місяців тому +2

    so im watching this and laugh at the zocdoc ad because he starts it off with his "27 year streak" of not having broken a bone. and man I legit had the same streak until last july. I'm 27. I had never broken a bone or gotten stitches. I skipped a step walked down the three steps of my back porch and my ankle gave out and i broke my right ankle. it super sucked.

  • @fionna_cool_girl
    @fionna_cool_girl 9 місяців тому +8

    I think it's important to ask the kids (if they understand the situation) how they feel because the divorce will impact them too, not just the spouses. The kids have been impacted by their dad's tardiness and lack of showing up or caring. It's VERY important to have both parents be there for you when you need them most. However if one parent just isn't pulling their weight and showing up, it can hurt SO SO much because you look up to your parents and if they don't even give you the time of day, it can take a massive hit on your self esteem. That's why the issue of fatherless homes is such a huge issue. Kids need that male figure in the home to come and support them and be there for them but if the parent just isn't making an effort, it might be time for the parents to divorce and they go their separate ways until something gets fixed or if it doesn't, at least they won't be let down by their dad saying he'll show up but then not actually doing anything. I think it's good that the mom asked them how they felt because ultimately it's a decision that impacts all of them.

  • @ss.surprise
    @ss.surprise 8 місяців тому +2

    I think telling the kids before the spouse was a green flag because the husband was not being a good partner OR Dad. So even if she wanted to find a way to tell them with him, he was likely not going to be any help. The kids are also not blind, they can see the way Dad is treating Mum and that they are not doing well as a team.
    You should absolutely prep your kids before a divorce happens, and you should do it with your partner where possible, but this was not a situation where Dad was reliable. And I wasn't surprised he didn't want anything to do with the kids. He literally decided not to show up to these important events because he didn't CARE. I don't know if he regrets having kids, but I wouldn't be surprised if he had a mistress or a second family and was becoming resentful of his first one for taking away time from the people he actually gives a damn about.

  • @Chrissy666pyro
    @Chrissy666pyro 8 місяців тому +1

    1:44 We try to be polite putting men down in this situation it’s sick… with sick men you have to put them down gently

  • @be.A.b
    @be.A.b 8 місяців тому +1

    Story one: guys like that are the biggest turn off. Easily influenced and spineless

  • @Unknown_101_
    @Unknown_101_ 9 місяців тому +3

    I think it’s a green flag if they talk to the kids. We don’t know exactly what she talked about. If she talked about specifically getting a divorce with her father or if she talked about the issue she has with her father always being late we don’t know we only know she talked to the kids first, which I think there’s some things that she didn’t mention if she talk to the kids first because that’s a step that many parents wouldn’t do. Maybe he was more violent.

  • @PhancyPants12
    @PhancyPants12 9 місяців тому +3

    32:12 it’s a green flag to talk to her kids first. She clearly had an inkling that something is going on with how her kids are being treated so she sat them down and said this might be happening. How do you feel about it and then they opened up to her and told her about how and see if they have been feeling. Giant green flag that those kids felt comfortable enough to come to their mom and tell them what was going on and for her to have raise them to know that they can count on her is one of the biggest green flags ever.
    Edit: now the kids know that if their dad shows up at school to pick them up, and their mom didn’t tell them, they know not to leave with him. Now the kids know that they were justified in feeling unsafe, and that they have been validated in that.

  • @KnowYourQuestion
    @KnowYourQuestion 9 місяців тому +4

    LOVE Sam in glasses!!!

  • @abigaildevito5015
    @abigaildevito5015 9 місяців тому +1

    Sam absolutely said some thing about a practice family 😂🤣

  • @Neyfufu00
    @Neyfufu00 9 місяців тому +1

    3:22 you can most certainly fault them for believing in those words rather than talking to his fiance or wife. Communication is tea and if you can't do that then you're a terrible partner

    • @Neyfufu00
      @Neyfufu00 9 місяців тому

      10:02 you don't deserve a second chance Lol

  • @pathoesr7872
    @pathoesr7872 9 місяців тому +2

    31:00 I get not want the kids involved, but I think approaching the kids about it was not an inappropriate thing. Mind you, she needs to have an AGE APPROPRIATE conversation with the kids, but setting the expectation in this instance when it might get messy and getting the children out of the situation would be correct. Those kids need to understand it is not okay for them to be treated that and none of what happened was their fault. That dad is the type to blame his kids.

  • @SaintLeeclops
    @SaintLeeclops 9 місяців тому

    That zoc doc plug was immaculate lmao 😂

  • @tyffanii1
    @tyffanii1 8 місяців тому +1

    I think telling your kids that you might get a divorce and telling your husband late is nice, if he wants to be late or not go then he can be the last to know about the divorce

  • @Raraking4796
    @Raraking4796 9 місяців тому +1

    51:04 in the story op said that she told her husband about the arranged marriage and he said that he figured it out awhile back and he didn’t bring it up because he thought that she knew already.

    • @alias-majik
      @alias-majik 5 місяців тому

      The impression I got was that he thought she was in on it from the beginning, like part of the planning of it. So it would make sense for him to keep quiet as not to embarrass her.

  • @kasandramckenna3250
    @kasandramckenna3250 9 місяців тому

    About the 27 years no broken bones- I broke my foot in 3 places at 34, surgery then rebroke it and had to stay in a wheelchair for 3 months, lost bone mass, took forever to walk normal let alone get back to baseline in general fitness.

  • @therewillbecatswithgwenhwyfar
    @therewillbecatswithgwenhwyfar 9 місяців тому +1

    39:39 I think it's really shitty that she would suggest he stop talking to a child that has considered him part of his family for a long time. But also mother-in-law is a Fing borthole.

  • @Missminpin
    @Missminpin 9 місяців тому

    Sophia literally popped out of nowhere in the third story which confused me at first.I love this podcast .

  • @southernladyish
    @southernladyish 9 місяців тому +1

    I don’t think it’s weird at all to still have a relationship with ex’s kids. I helped raise my ex’s kids when they were very young. Their ages were 5, 3, and 6 months. We only dated for 3 years but I bonded with them throughout that time. I also have 2 kids with him as well and we have a pretty civil relationship. Our kids together are now 15 and 13 so his children are 17, 19, and 21. I’m still close with all of them. A couple of them even come to me and talk about things that they won’t even discuss with their father lol Having said that, my fiancé has never had an issue with this. He’s been around them all a good bit since we all get together for family events. So I have a different opinion on the story of the husband being close to the ex’s kids. I actually feel kind of bad for the husband in that story. It sounded like he really loved her. I feel bad for OP as well.. I can understand her being upset and going through a roller coaster of emotions. But that doesn’t mean their entire relationship was built on lies. It also doesn’t mean her husband doesn’t truly love her.

  • @HeathPaddles2Far
    @HeathPaddles2Far 9 місяців тому +5

    I remember Sam saying something about a practice family

  • @NotReallySleeping
    @NotReallySleeping 9 місяців тому +2

    I love the new cuss words. XD

  • @caiargagnon
    @caiargagnon 8 місяців тому

    Sam! You are talking about fluke- a husband who was jealous of his wife's friend and ended up crashing his car. Woke up as a puppy and slowly found his way home, where the wife is now dating said friend

  • @shaboo103
    @shaboo103 9 місяців тому +1

    You did say that Sam! 😆

  • @RisaKaulitzO
    @RisaKaulitzO 9 місяців тому

    On the woman telling their kids about the divorce, maybe it was to check if the dad has done things behind her back and further confirm her decision

  • @aprilwills6777
    @aprilwills6777 7 днів тому

    Wow I just realized it's been a hot min since I watched you guys, and I'm so happy to see the two of you are paired back up for the show🤩. As a duo, y'all have an amazing energy 🤗.
    I have a hot take that may not be the most popular, but is honestly pretty important to acknowledge. I know most viewers are likely young (like gen z, I'm guessing 🤷‍♀️... I'm gen x btw😉), and haven't had the life experience yet to understand this, but y'all gotta chill on the "divorce them" statements! I think it's easy to forget sometimes that these are REAL people (aside from the occasional nuisance of the ai stories🙄). It's just not always so easy, ya know?... Plus, it should NEVER be the first option.
    Ok soapbox over😜
    That first story was so painful to hear. I'm so glad the guy's seeking therapy, cuz he's got a long journey ahead, if he intends to recover from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. I know this from my own experience. I wish him well🥰
    Husband #2 is a POS covert narcissist, at least the story describes him as such. He was fine (she prob just wasn't noticing his subtle narcissistic isms), just as long as he had her beneath him, in a sense. His fragile ego was being fed when she wasn't working and therefore relying completely on him. That's why his behavior shifted when she went back to work. To him, she became an adversary, and his sick mind told him that they were competing for head of house. Being a childish covert n, his way of "dealing with it" was passive aggressive neglect and abandonment of the family.
    To the "he does have another family!"... not likely. Lol😂. More like his "mistress"is his own reflection

  • @savanna8103
    @savanna8103 9 місяців тому +6

    Second story: i was kind of mad at op because your husband was late to your mother's funeral, late to your birthday party and late to your son's game.
    So why the hell did you task your always late, no good husband to take your kids to someone else's birthday party?

    • @alexiatr
      @alexiatr 9 місяців тому +2

      Because they're also his kids, and he is responsible for them too. He is the one that she have ended things, he is the coward that instead of talking he sabotaged his family. But watch him come back when he is old and sick and will want his family back.

    • @19nmiller1
      @19nmiller1 9 місяців тому +2

      She was trying to give him one last chance to be a good father and prove he's involved. She did absolutely nothing wrong and he *should* be stepping up. Why are you blaming her? That's really messed up and kinda sexist putting all the responsibilities for the children on the mom.

  • @KylaFuller
    @KylaFuller 6 днів тому

    I hope he read the update too.

  • @kcalbat1
    @kcalbat1 9 місяців тому

    I love this episode! Y’all were on top of the stories. Good commentary, no really long tangents

  • @ImanZaineb
    @ImanZaineb 9 місяців тому +1

    Ramadan Mubarak @Scuria Rahman!

  • @Monsterbunnych
    @Monsterbunnych 9 місяців тому +2

    How’d yall manage to make the ex an asshole for not sleeping with his family 💀

  • @Gmaw2.0
    @Gmaw2.0 9 місяців тому +3

    Bummer I've already seen this one I look forward to your new videos and I've already heard this before we need new stories I love you love you love you but I like the way you used to do it before you did the lives don't get me wrong I love the lies but bummer I was so excited when I saw this😢

  • @J3nJ3nl0llip0p
    @J3nJ3nl0llip0p 4 місяці тому

    4:50 THIS POOR GUY... These are the men who get offended when we choose the bear, as well as the reason we'd choose the bear.

  • @karinaramirez-rattan4140
    @karinaramirez-rattan4140 7 днів тому

    Yes arranged marriage does still exist... I was arranged when I was born... By the time I was 5 yrs old, I knew I'd be married to the first Eric... I was arranged twice... Both fell through...

  • @WildJJasmine
    @WildJJasmine 9 місяців тому

    25:48 I saw that 🙊🙈😂😂

  • @eeveequeen15
    @eeveequeen15 2 місяці тому

    31:27 You said yourself why it's a green flag: the husband is dangerous.
    Telling the kids first gives them time to prepare themselves in advance. The husband is not going to take the divorce well because of his pride and will likely become violent.
    When my parents divorced, my mom told my siblings and I first. We were adults. After she told my dad, he grabbed his gun and held it to his head and walked up to her, threatening to take his own life if she didn't change her mind. She didn't.
    My dad got therapy and is doing a lot better now. They're both divorced.

  • @SpicySugaKookie
    @SpicySugaKookie 8 місяців тому

    Hi guys!! I actually disagree a bit with telling the kids. I think mom did the right thing, often times when the kids are the last to know they get upset and frustrated with the parents because they feel that it was sprung up on them. I don’t think telling them outright would be okay, maybe explaining things slowly and sitting them down and hearing them out would be beneficial as well.

  • @dcarter455
    @dcarter455 4 дні тому

    ✅✅✅I mean, I think it was fair given the father’s behavior for her to go to the children first. I remember my dad making a scene and tearing our room apart looking for my mom’s plane ticket when she was planning to leave him for a while. I think she just wanted to separate but she hadn’t told my sister and I yet (we were small - younger than 10) and we came inside to the chaos from playing outside. He took that opportunity to tell us “Your mother is trying to leave us!” To which my sister and I burst into tears and wailed. So her going to her children first may have been a protection. If he is as big a bully to his kids as they said, then he would definitely try to curry their sympathy and do damage in the process! They need to know the plan so they don’t feel insecure about where they stand with their mom.

  • @twichmcvey6065
    @twichmcvey6065 9 місяців тому

    I'm still friends with my ex. His mom loves me and helpped to teach me how to he an adult. I don't speak with him much anymore due to political reasons (his issues not mine) but my kids call him mom Grandma Peggy. She and I are in touch often. 😂 this feels like everyone else is selfishly conspiring to control their adult children.

  • @IrishGigs
    @IrishGigs 9 місяців тому +1

    I e gotta side with Reilly. Yep Sam said it as a joke.

  • @cherildye1969
    @cherildye1969 11 днів тому

    That family marriage conspiracy 😮🤯 that's definitely some rich people 💩

  • @KylaFuller
    @KylaFuller 6 днів тому

    Not supporting at a funeral especially of someone like a mom is crazy. I’d have been done. Also the hot wife was fed up with him AND his family. The forgiving is not in my nature feels like me.

  • @captainkernalpopcorn8733
    @captainkernalpopcorn8733 8 місяців тому

    First story - I don't think he was "easily manipulated " so much for, everyone manipulated HIM into believing it. And if everyone is saying something it can and will drive you crazy. It's not coming from one person but so many! One person you can be like ok, maybe they have an alternative motive, but so many? Makes you believe them.. and that him self, is crazy.. I feel for him

    • @emilyjohn2034
      @emilyjohn2034 8 місяців тому

      I don’t. Mainly because he doesn’t seem to be taking any actual responsibility for emotionally abusing his wife. He mentions his family WAY too much, yes they manipulated him but he still CHOSE to act and CHOSE to mistreat his wife no one made him do it. Every single time he mentions “because my family” before saying the bad things he did and that to me says he doesn’t actually take accountability

  • @taytay_ava_lovebug88
    @taytay_ava_lovebug88 2 місяці тому

    WHAT!!!!! HE HAD ONE DANG JOB!!!!!!!

  • @sockruhtease
    @sockruhtease 9 місяців тому

    Sam did say you can have 1 practice family. No joke, cap or gaslight. Straight facts. Sorry dude.😊

  • @hannahjanis8616
    @hannahjanis8616 8 місяців тому

    28:50
    YOU CUT MY MAN OUTTA DUNE?!!?
    Y'all'll be lucky if he ever lets that one go, you fucked up. XD

  • @erizabeto
    @erizabeto 9 місяців тому +2

    Im so sad. 😢 whats the point of being a member if im watching the members only lives reposted later on. Also i feel like you guys now want to do lives only 😭😭😭

  • @abbiezarslytherin3798
    @abbiezarslytherin3798 9 місяців тому

    Sounds like she has already Talked to the dad and the kids have been forced to understand regardless of what should or should not happen they understand a lot more than people realize

  • @octopus8978
    @octopus8978 5 місяців тому

    45:59 THW COMMITMENT

  • @franciebelcher4594
    @franciebelcher4594 8 місяців тому

    S1. Super AH. Wow! The whole time I'm thinking "why did OP even have contact with people that talked badly about his wife?!"
    This is not a hard decision. Ask 4 an apology and cut them off if they do it again.
    What. A. JERK😑

  • @GreenBean3141
    @GreenBean3141 8 місяців тому

    Story 1 : her husband is a narcissist and can’t stand his wife getting any attention.

  • @badkitty4922
    @badkitty4922 9 місяців тому

    Family will fck/screw you over faster and harder than any friend would or could.
    Sad but true.

  • @badkitty4922
    @badkitty4922 9 місяців тому

    First story: Completely and utterly NC!!!

  • @sierraalice8072
    @sierraalice8072 8 місяців тому

    This is barely an arranged marriage, it’s more like heavily suggested

  • @octopus8978
    @octopus8978 5 місяців тому

    47:30 ONG TRUMAN SHOW LEVEL

  • @lycantabris
    @lycantabris 9 місяців тому

    Hey, um, if it's not too much trouble, could you please lower the volume on police siren sound effects? I listen to you guys while driving sometimes and I live in curvaceous West Virginia, and the timing gods had that sound effect hit right as I turned a bend and I damn near had a heart attack.