When I was 18 and pregnant by a 28 year old, he yelled, "Why would you cook the bacon like that? You're gonna learn how to take care of me!!!" I may have been young, but I wasn't dumb or desperate. He went to the bathroom and I walked out of the door. He didn't see me again for 9 years. I WILL NOT be abused or mistreated. Not under any circumstance. By the time my baby was born I had opened my own business and rented a 2 bedroom condo. You don't have to stay. You're never stuck. Grown men who like young girls do so because women their own age won't tolerate their bs. They are often looking for total control.
@stephkais5613 knowing that would have changed my life considerably. I started college at 16, with no "street smarts," sheltered, protected, and green as a springtime clover field. I wasn't prepared in any way. That high school curriculum would have come in handy when that 26 year old told me how mature I was for my age.
My sister fell for it. It took her 5 years to leave which is fast all things considered. She now has a supportive partner but the effects last. All we can do with men like that is hope they lose interest. He's superficially charming and the court has been appalling. First judge got left by his cheating wife so you can imagine the stories her ex told that judge ate up. Second judge saw the mountain of evidence and several mandated reporters blowing the whistle and decided "I'm siding with first judge because I'm not going against this court even though it's clear he fucked up." Now, several years and credible threats down the line, a detective has been assigned who seems to believe my sister/their child. Now we can't hope he stops caring (like a dog with a bone). We're at the point we have to hope he'll follow the law because he doesn't want to go to prison. The right information in a way my sister would recognize the red flags could've prevented all of this. Our generation has been way better informed than the ones before us. All we can do is keep that trend going and protect our children even better.
@shawnm7246 when I was 16 and he was 26, I was a girl. At this point, I've known him for 29 years, so, I've had the misfortune of observing his personality for a little while. I said they are OFTEN looking for total control. So, that leaves the possibility for other reasons. What was your point though?
I have a 7 month old and I would leave my husband if he didnt help me. Thats what you do when you love your spouse and baby. First story, Hes not a real father or partner.. DIVORCE!!!!!
I was going to write a long reply but, basically, I'm childless though I've been around family and friends who've had children, all of my life. I agree with you 💯 %! I'm the youngest of 6, and mom raised us all with shiny spines and venomous tongues (when needed). That guy would've been toast. He's no honorable Marine. I've got 3 Marines in my family and they're wonderful men.
I totally get this - but wouodnt you worry the baby wasnt being cared for during his timea of custody? At least when you stay you know someone is caring for the babies. Thats why I stayed with my ex until my kids were old enough to do basic care for themselves and/or tell me if they werent being fed and stuff
@CreedsofYore there's that worry as well. Is she going to be on top of him and his lack of parenting skills while observing him with the kids or is she just gonna take notes for the visits? She should divorce,sue for observation visits, alimony, and child support. Most important: GET OUT GIRL!!!
Staying is never a good idea. I’ve known abusive spouses to both brainwash their kids while also working to turn them against the good parent. If she leaves, she should try for full custody with supervised visits until the daughter is old enough to communicate. That way, the child sees her mother’s new healthy lifestyle, vs. her dad’s toxic lifestyle.
Yeah husband needs to go. You can’t fix that kind of man. He is a complete narcissist in the absolute truest sense. 50 years ago my grandparents had immense respect for one another and what the other did to sacrifice for the family. Never would he have ever called her lazy. Not once.
Exactly!! I feel like a lot was different 50 years ago too. Most young girls and women were literally raised to be stay at home wife’s/moms. I’m sure there were women who despised it but I think alot of them enjoyed it because there is a lot about that kind of thing that’s really relevant and rewarding for a lot of reasons.
I was a cup size D and after losing a decent ammount of weight I was a C cup. So weight gain and loss can certainly alter your breasts size by a noticable ammount. I think that dude forgot breasts are largely comprised of fat.
I've just seen the story where a women spend 25 years of her life with an ungrateful husband who only saw her as a burden. She should avoid having the same fate as the 50 something years old women who had to begin life from 0 after getting evicted and her children not helping her
I know that story too, and it tore me apart for OP. I understand loving this guy, but there's no way in Heaven, Hell, or Earth in between would I have had children with him. If the first child was born and no marriage.....BYE! Child Support Mthrfkr!!! I've got that shiny spine and razor sharp tongue, though. I've HAD to bc you know, life's not fair and people suck.🙄🤦♀️😘💖🫂🐾🐾
People keep saying that marriage is "just a piece of paper" but look how that "just a piece of paper" would have protected that woman. She was left with NOTHING and even her own children won't help her! I hope a lot of people take that OP's story to heart.
Story 1: Honestly just leave everything and go. I know the kids do matter, but he’s going to use them as a reason to make her stay. Just run. This guy TOTALLY sounds like the type that will escalate
I love how clueless Riley was when he asked @ 31:29 ; "How can people watch shows like that, where all they talk about is cheating and Bad Relationships and enjoy it", lol .... What did he think OKOP is !?! I swear he makes me laugh so hard. You guys are too funny. 😊
When your life significantly improves when instead of having a spouse you're receiving child support the marriage is beyond saving. The 'husband' in story 1 is despicable, even if she didn't receive a dime after divorce she'd be better off.
I have been love bombed, I was in an abusive relationship once and he wasn’t love bombing. Love bombing is what gets you to love them at first. Then they start to test your limits and boundaries to make you desperate for their love again. They then make you believe you’re losing them, just to come back and love bomb you again. You are constantly in high highs or low lows, it’s addicting. If he never has done this before, I’m pretty sure it’s not love bombing, but if it creates a cycle, it is.
Ooof this is awful. My first husband was just like this - except he left the military and then refused to work, left the kids with his family when i was working at the hospital (to cheat of course). Never cooked, i had to pay child support for his child we were raising because he was taken by CPS from his ex/thr kids mother. Plus he was a wicked alcoholic and was abusive. I finally left after he nearly killed me. Spent the next few years dealing with criminal court, family court and some wicked PTSD. Its been 14 years and Im mostly healed, but man that was a terrible time in my life. This OP needs to leave like yesterday!
With the husband thinking she had breast implants, I’m pretty sure those have to be replaced every ten to fifteen years. Since she was with him for ten years, if she did have implants, she would have gotten them before him, meaning that she would need to replace them by now. So the husband would definitely know if her breasts were “fake”, which they aren’t.
That's not really an argument. This could be upcoming, or be delayed, or whatever. The real argument is her not having the right scars and them not feeling as if there was something in there.
TLDR: My ex was exactly like this guy. Like to an absolute tee! He never helped with the kids because that was "my job." I remember the moment I knew I had to leave. I had a scared 3 year old and a screaming newborn, riding out hurricane Sandy by ourselves. The power went out, and the basement apartment we lived in started flooding. He had left a week prior because he said he was tired of my "laziness" because I didn't live up to his mothers standards (stay at home mom from the time she was 19 and never worked a day in her life.) When i called him to help clean up the apartment after the flooding, he told me it was karma for being so messy and I needed to figure it out by myself if I wanted to earn his respect back. In his lease, it states that he is responsible for upkeep and maintaining the apartment while hes in it, in exchange for a lower monthky rent. Well, my name wasn't on the lease, so I took whatever of mine and the kids things that hadn't gotten damaged and left him to deal with the apartment. He refused to deal with it and demanded I go back and clean up or he was going to go after me for full custody because I wasn't fit to be a mother. Meanwhile, he's been at that friend's house that they tell you you're crazy for being concerned about it. I refused to go clean up the apartment, and I stopped answering his texts and calls. He ignored the apartment for months, and eventually, the landlord was notified by the upstairs neighbors that they could smell mold and had moisture creeping up from the basement apartment. My ex was then sued for $50,000 in damages and legal fees. Shortly later, the courts granted me primary custody of the kids. He has supervised visitations and child support payments. I found my fiancé a few years later, and it's so crazy how different a real man is from what I'm used to. He doesn't have kids and doesn't want any of his own, but he treats my kids like royalty. He treats me like he's the luckiest man in the world just to know me. I have been so unbelievably happy in a healthy relationship with a man that values everything I do and every move I make. I have never felt so loved or understood. With him by my side, my confidence, motivation, and determination, my love of life, has all exploded in growth, and it feels like I'm a new person. Always leave the shitty situation. You could be wasting time you could be spending enjoying life. ❤
The story about the boob job. How are yall putting the blame on the co-workers?? They didn't ruin his marriage. He did it to himself when he brought the accusations home. He easily gave into peer pressure and is weak minded. Too much of trying to give the accountability or punishment to the co workers.
He really needs to look up info. i have H. And i dont want the size. Ive had back issues for years. Some people have gotten boob jobs that size and its insane they see that and then their surprised they get back issues
More SAHMs need to give the men the kids when they get divorced. Her husband has NO clue what it is like to raise a kid. He needs to experience it. I know a year after I went back to work, my husband apologized to me for not believing me all those years. And all that changed was he had to wake up the kids and get them ready for school! Also, because he had more vacation and personal, he was the one the school called if the kids were sick. Before, he'd say things like they were faking it or my taking the kids to the Dr to get checked was unnecessary. Now he asks me (I get home earlier) to schedule appointments if they are sick. I still remember the first time one of my kids got sick at school. My kid had said they didn't feel good, but he sent them anyway. They threw up in their first period class. Or the time I was concerned about another kid's arm because they had fallen off their scooter on the way home from school. It was 8:00 at night and I was checking on the arm. My husband got upset and wouldn't listen to me because kid needed to go to bed. "What am I going to do?! Take them to the Dr?!" He would not listen to me, so I let it go and let him find out the next day. Sure enough, he got a call from the school first thing in the morning because kid's arm hurt. Kid's arm had a small fracture. My guess is her husband is bitter because now he isn't the center of attention. He hasn't adapted and realized things are different now because there is a child. He probably wants things to be like they used to be.
People really over-use/misuse "love bombing". For one its usually part of a pattern were it follows abusive behavior and is done with the intention to keep abusing someone. Also its never that thoughtful, his actions did come from regret and looking for forgiveness but they were also kind and thoughtful.
I know I’m late to the story here. But my brother is a marine and father and husband…..he doesn’t treat his wife and kid like this. Former Army myself, if the army or marines heard about OPs husband mistreating her like this, he would be reported and arrested for spousal abuse. They don’t train you to be abusive. It is illegal! Even if he’s discharged from service, he can still be charged. His behavior isn’t from training, it’s how he was raised or it’s red pill after adulthood.
Creepy Marine husband: she ABSOLUTELY must have a safety plan for leaving - this man is exhibiting every red flag that he'll escalate to violence. Right after birth and right after you leave are the most dangerous times for partners. She can't talk about leaving before she does it, and she can't tell him alone in their home. I am so serious about this
He is extremely abusive! He wants a young girl to control! He is beating her down emotionally so he can fully control her. That’s insane that if she is feeding the baby when he get home she is lazy. He wants a 50s era wife standing at the door with a sexy outfit on holding a cocktail and dinner ! Or maybe he doesn’t like her and is trying to be mean until she leaves !!
The last OP needs to cut ties with the girl if she keeps trying to overstep his boundaries. Hope she realises OP isn't going to put up with her behaviour and is willing to put boundaries in place for her ex or cuts him out if he tries to overstep.
1st story: OP needs to leave that misogynistic, abusive AH. She should have left him the first time this happened. Idiot coworkers story: HR deals with issues that affect an employees work. They aren't going to deal with idiots suggesting a coworker has had work done.
The first story sounds exactly like the situation I'm in. My mom was the housewife type. I do my best to keep the house clean but I have 2 young kids so things don't stay clean for long. If they mess the place after I've cleaned hell come home and yell at me. I've been with him for 8 1/2. I begged my family to help me leave him in my early 20s but my offered me zero support to get away from the emotional abuse and control we experience. This put a strain on the relationship between me and my mom. Everytime I tried to leave he used our children as a weapon saying he would take them away from me. He even managed to get joint custody of them so I can't leave state with them. The rules need to different for family court system so it doesn't allow entrapment which is the situation that I'm in. Unfortunately I cannot leave because I will not leave the kids with him over my dead body so for now I endure and hopefully one day I'll have enough money to bury his ass in court and leave with my babies. If I can leave I don't think I'm ever dating again. I had no idea men could trap there partners ladys please don't quit your jobs to be a stay at home mom that'd what got me in this situation. Once my Job was gone I had nothing.
I really hope your children will appreciate your sacrifice. Make sure to leave him as soon as they left their most vulnerable age. You don't need to wait until they left the house. Depending on tht legislation of your location the kids have a say in where they want to stay as well once they reached a certain level of maturity. Where I live this will often be around the age of 14. Sometimes earlier. That being said: entrapment is one way of looking at it. And in an abusive relationship that's what it feels like to the victim, and what the intention of the abuser is. But unless you can prove actual abuse to the court, courts also have to keep in mind the inverse scenario, where one partner just abuses the power custody gives them to hurt their partners, entirely disregarding the rights of that other partner and the well being of the kids. That's why not allowing one party to just move far far away makes sense. In Europe we have the same issue, but with actual borders in mind. That's why our version of TSA will require both parents consent to allow kids crossing the border. Kidnapping children and bringing them into another jurisdiction is a thing both sexes do when a relationship turns ugly. Not allowing that while parents have joint custody is actually a good thing. Your real battle, if you want to leave him early, is thus to get sole custody. Which might unfortunately be hard or even impossible. I wish you all the best ...
The story where the guy is thinking his wife is lying about the boob job, Makes me question.Why are these men so easily influenced? Why is it when they hear something on a podcast, Or they watch a show, They are just so quickly and so easily influenced. It's just mind blowing. Like, dude blew up his whole marriage bc he watched a TV show 😒..
Last story: not being in contact doesn't mean they'll never get back together. Maybe some distance between the two, but cutting contact doesn't mean they aren't thinking about each other.
First story sounds like my relationship lol ive been trying to safely get out for a while now. Its so difficult to leave sometimes. And im disabled. Its all fucked
Get the police involved the day you leave. Get a place, a new job for in a month and a new number. Don’t tell. The day you move out, ask the police to supervise you getting your stuff. Tell them to tell him you want no more contact. Once it’s done, you have a different number he can’t contact, you’ll have a new place and he can’t stalk you at your workplace😊
I'm also disabled and I became disabled during my relationship, I know exactly what you're talking about. I feel so vulnerable, I think many men see us as that or grow to resent us. My bf told me he was there for me and he did a lot to help me, he was the first person to not treat me different for my genetic condition, but one day he started complaining I didn't make him breakfast even when I explained how terrible I am at cooking eggs and it wasn't easy to do anything else all day after cooking over the stove and I had laundry to do. Then he started not checking on me when I had migraines, basically calling me lazy and blaming me for my illnesses, doubting one he was present for at diagnosis; although the last 3 were at the very end. I may have POTS and I was having difficulty even standing up before I increased my salt intake, I'm going for testing. On retrospect I should have left the 1st or 2nd time I was in the grocery store and he left to hang out with his friend. I went grocery shopping with my dad recently and started feeling dizzy and he sent me to sit in the car while he loaded up the bags. He's over 60. He didn't hold it over my head at any point later. I dunno, I hate how difficult it is to distinguish respect from a calculated act.
Probably rebellious phase against parents or bad/no parents and no support network. She got preyed on by someone a lot older who saw she was vulnerable.
Yea tht first story, she needs to leave! Take her baby and leave. Unfortunately, she can’t take the other 2 kids. They’re not hers. But she needs to take her baby and GTFO. She’s SO young. Don’t waste your entire life on this horrible man.
If a husband's " friends or co- worker " makes comments about a wife's body he should tell them I am happy with how just the way she is and tell them to mind their own business. That is just not normal talking about other people's spouses in an office space. Bet they talk even worse about any female co workers
In the boob job story, I don't think it needs to be reported to HR. She talked with the guys that made him believe she had enhancements, in front of their wives, that's worse than going to HR because now they have to hear about it at home. I also think that those co-workers are the reason he started watching the tv show about spouses hiding work they had done and other problems. Last story, they did have more than a friendly relationship. At one point in the story, he mentioned that were basically friends with benefits. That alone can complicate the situation.
Omg yesterday i couldnt find an episode i havent listened to yet! Im so happy to have this video for today! Listen to you guyd at work and the gym, i love yall and one day i hope to meet you all, though im in Pennsylvania so i may never get to! But theres always hoping! Hail the worm queen sofia 🪱 👸 👑 ❤
God that first story sounds like my EX husband before he got sober. He doesn’t think that way now that he’s sober and a single dad half the time. Funny how that works eh?
That’s the key! The concept of doing your best to make sure each partner has about equal amounts of rest/free time. If neither of you have adequate free time, you cannot spend it with loved ones.
Not only go see cheap lawyers, go make appointments with all the best lawyers in your area. This way they can’t represent him if he tries to hire them later on.
Story 1: she needs to not tell him what she is thinking or what she wants or what she is going to do this walking 🚩 will gaslight her so bad that she will doubt her reality.
My abusive ex paid a lawyer to fight against paying child support and as a result we got 50/50 custody on paper (no child support), but for most of my son's life the dad has lived in another state and has never contributed a single penny to his upbringing. My son will be 17 this week and I've raised him 100% on my own. It's HARD, but doable. And i do recognize that the economy sucks SO MUCH MORE today than it did pre-2016 and that i was lucky to be able to support him on low wages while I worked my way through 2 university degrees
And for extra measures ;when getting that divorce get a restraining order just in case he’s a clear threat to you and the kids .Which could be the case if he ‘s that much of a pyscopath !…
The first story The husband is completely abusive I prescribe to my gender role I enjoy working long hours and taking care of my wife but man or woman if one person is working long hours the other one should be taken care of the house whether it be man or woman if my wife was the provider and worked all day You're damn right The house will be done The kids will be taken care of and food would be ready when she got home. Because at the end of the day it's a partnership
Story #1Run and keep running .It gave me flashbacks. Of course all Marines aren't this way . I married a Marine at 23 . We were same age but he had a lot of theses ideas . I didnt know until I married him and had children. He kept the comments to himself but the behavior became apparent. Unfortunately, this isn't just a 50 years ago mindset .Many men still have this mindset
I’m a 5’7” with a G cup, RIP MY BACK IS REAL, and overweight and I’m offended for her. My bf has never once complained or accused them of being fake, as have a lot of scars. I also have an open heart surgery scar and he has never complained or did any crazy shit like tht
I hate when Reddit puts “love bombing” on genuine acts of gaining forgiveness. He was trying to apologize so he went level 10, but that’s not love bombing. He doesn’t give her gifts every time they fight. This was a big issue and needed a big apology.
Riley: At some point, I hope you understand that the way they talk to you (constantly putting you down and pass it off as "joking") isn't how real friends talk to eachother. That's all.
34:12 In the second story did anyone notice the fact that they said his female best friend were talking crap and calling her over dramatic? Or was it just me... makes me wonder if there was some cheating and it was love bombing but as a distraction from that over anything else
Safety planning is key. Everyone is advocating divorce but not that a safety plan is necessary when leaving someone so controlling. Safety plan! You will need one.
She said he wasn't like that in the beginning, but that's the thing. They never are. They start acting that way once you're invested in the relationship. Speaking from experience unfortunately
non-boob job story i thought of the story where the guys family and friends lied to him to try to get with his wife... maybe they just trying to get to her
it's absolutely wild that people yell divorce over every disagreement on Reddit. But first guy should be left and all his kids taken. He is a true narcissist
50:21 I do feel like there is a casual way that her boobs could have been brought up. It could look a little something like: Man has pictures of family on his desk/office or he’s showing someone pictures for one reason or another and it only takes one of those guys to see a picture of op wife’s and it will be very noticeable how big her boobs are. I’m about 2 inches shorter and 15 pounds heavier than op but my boob size is about a size bigger. Throughout my life I’ve heard all kinds of questions and people often wonder if they are real because how does a person develop in a way where naturally the majority of their weight goes into her boobs? It definitely happens but just not as often so one of his coworkers could have seen her and easily thought those can’t be real because that doesn’t make sense. Plus the world has WILD amounts of plastic surgery at crazy high rates! They would likely eventually make a comment to op husband something like damn op husband your wife’s boobies are HUGE where did she get those and then it trickles down from there.
I would bet almost everything I own that he went on to Reddit and he read the responses and there was no way he was going to get on there with her. He is trying to guess like the heck out of her.
In the US, the YWCA is a resource for people suffering from intimate partner violence/DV. They have resources that will help you get out and help you build a safety plan and I hope you find a lawyer. I would also contact the baby mama and make sure that she knows that you are leaving and that someone's gonna have to take care of her kids. It's not gonna be her. He's the kind of person who I can very much see would avoid taxable income so that there's no way for her to get his wages garnished by the state for child support. But it does sound like she has postpartum depression and clearly in an abusive relationship. If her local area doesn't have a YWCA, there usually are other resources for victims of domestic violence. Even if he's not hitting her, he's definitely definitely mentally and emotionally abusing her. I really hope that she has family or friends that will help her out
Also make sure that you're not recording someone in a two-party state. if you illegally record someone without their consent and estate that requires it, not only will that evidence not be used but it could get you in trouble too.
I’m out here at work on 2 hours of sleep so my pregnant wife can sleep through the night while our toddler is in a sleep regression, but somehow people like OP’s husband exist.
I have made the statement before that I'd like a part time boyfriend, but not made the stipulation he had to be my maid too lol. I just meant I'd like the exclusivity and care for a partner, but with less time commitment as I am a hermit and want to be alone a lot... so I get that aspect
First story: He's insecure, probably an underachiever, and is trying to boss someone around and feel powerful at home. She could do better. Also I've been accused of having implants almost my whole life, its soo bizarre 😂 . Actually almost had a breast reduction, but didn't want surgery or scarring.
I do not agree with you guys on the last story having your ex in your life on either side is way too messy, i was in a relationship was super lax and chill with my girlfriend talking to her ex especially since they had a daughter together regardless of believing she would only talk to him abt their daughter she slept with him for 7 months & made an onlyfans with him while she was still with me and was splitting the money with her ex....plus i hate when as soon as a guy brings up certain boundaries, we're made out to be "insecure" or "controlling" double standard
If it weren’t for the fact that they aren’t dating yet I’d absolutely think last person is an AH but with them not dating yet OP isn’t an AH, tho it is definitely insecurity rightly or wrongly being concerned about an ex IS insecurity that’s the definition of it. So to call it not insecurity is just wrong
When I was 18 and pregnant by a 28 year old, he yelled, "Why would you cook the bacon like that? You're gonna learn how to take care of me!!!"
I may have been young, but I wasn't dumb or desperate.
He went to the bathroom and I walked out of the door. He didn't see me again for 9 years.
I WILL NOT be abused or mistreated. Not under any circumstance.
By the time my baby was born I had opened my own business and rented a 2 bedroom condo. You don't have to stay. You're never stuck.
Grown men who like young girls do so because women their own age won't tolerate their bs. They are often looking for total control.
That last sentence tho. It should be mandatory curriculum for every girl in high school. So many of these situations could be avoided.
@stephkais5613 knowing that would have changed my life considerably. I started college at 16, with no "street smarts," sheltered, protected, and green as a springtime clover field. I wasn't prepared in any way. That high school curriculum would have come in handy when that 26 year old told me how mature I was for my age.
My sister fell for it. It took her 5 years to leave which is fast all things considered. She now has a supportive partner but the effects last. All we can do with men like that is hope they lose interest. He's superficially charming and the court has been appalling.
First judge got left by his cheating wife so you can imagine the stories her ex told that judge ate up. Second judge saw the mountain of evidence and several mandated reporters blowing the whistle and decided "I'm siding with first judge because I'm not going against this court even though it's clear he fucked up."
Now, several years and credible threats down the line, a detective has been assigned who seems to believe my sister/their child. Now we can't hope he stops caring (like a dog with a bone). We're at the point we have to hope he'll follow the law because he doesn't want to go to prison.
The right information in a way my sister would recognize the red flags could've prevented all of this. Our generation has been way better informed than the ones before us. All we can do is keep that trend going and protect our children even better.
first you werent a young girl, you were a legal adult. Second, men like younger women for a lot of reasons, and control isnt even high on that list.
@shawnm7246 when I was 16 and he was 26, I was a girl.
At this point, I've known him for 29 years, so, I've had the misfortune of observing his personality for a little while.
I said they are OFTEN looking for total control. So, that leaves the possibility for other reasons.
What was your point though?
Oh no... throw the 1st husband away. Bye... nope.. NOPE... HELL NAH...
I have a 7 month old and I would leave my husband if he didnt help me. Thats what you do when you love your spouse and baby. First story, Hes not a real father or partner.. DIVORCE!!!!!
I was going to write a long reply but, basically, I'm childless though I've been around family and friends who've had children, all of my life.
I agree with you 💯 %!
I'm the youngest of 6, and mom raised us all with shiny spines and venomous tongues (when needed). That guy would've been toast.
He's no honorable Marine.
I've got 3 Marines in my family and they're wonderful men.
❤️❤️❤️
I totally get this - but wouodnt you worry the baby wasnt being cared for during his timea of custody? At least when you stay you know someone is caring for the babies. Thats why I stayed with my ex until my kids were old enough to do basic care for themselves and/or tell me if they werent being fed and stuff
@CreedsofYore there's that worry as well. Is she going to be on top of him and his lack of parenting skills while observing him with the kids or is she just gonna take notes for the visits?
She should divorce,sue for observation visits, alimony, and child support.
Most important: GET OUT GIRL!!!
Staying is never a good idea. I’ve known abusive spouses to both brainwash their kids while also working to turn them against the good parent.
If she leaves, she should try for full custody with supervised visits until the daughter is old enough to communicate.
That way, the child sees her mother’s new healthy lifestyle, vs. her dad’s toxic lifestyle.
Yeah husband needs to go. You can’t fix that kind of man. He is a complete narcissist in the absolute truest sense. 50 years ago my grandparents had immense respect for one another and what the other did to sacrifice for the family. Never would he have ever called her lazy. Not once.
Exactly!! I feel like a lot was different 50 years ago too. Most young girls and women were literally raised to be stay at home wife’s/moms. I’m sure there were women who despised it but I think alot of them enjoyed it because there is a lot about that kind of thing that’s really relevant and rewarding for a lot of reasons.
I was a cup size D and after losing a decent ammount of weight I was a C cup. So weight gain and loss can certainly alter your breasts size by a noticable ammount.
I think that dude forgot breasts are largely comprised of fat.
that first man made me barf a little in my mouth 🤢 DIVORCE DIVORCE
She made a big mistake having a baby with a man child. He is selfish how you gonna have a kid and not take care of it.
he straight up abusive, i hope she escapes from him, she has all her life to live and it'll be wasted with that parasite
🎶 DIVORCE DIVORCE 🎵
I've just seen the story where a women spend 25 years of her life with an ungrateful husband who only saw her as a burden. She should avoid having the same fate as the 50 something years old women who had to begin life from 0 after getting evicted and her children not helping her
Yeah that story was just so sad
Heartbreaking. I was practically in shock during that whole story.
I know that story too, and it tore me apart for OP.
I understand loving this guy, but there's no way in Heaven, Hell, or Earth in between would I have had children with him.
If the first child was born and no marriage.....BYE!
Child Support Mthrfkr!!!
I've got that shiny spine and razor sharp tongue, though. I've HAD to bc you know, life's not fair and people suck.🙄🤦♀️😘💖🫂🐾🐾
People keep saying that marriage is "just a piece of paper" but look how that "just a piece of paper" would have protected that woman. She was left with NOTHING and even her own children won't help her! I hope a lot of people take that OP's story to heart.
which story is that?
Story 1: Honestly just leave everything and go. I know the kids do matter, but he’s going to use them as a reason to make her stay. Just run. This guy TOTALLY sounds like the type that will escalate
I would take at least the little one
1st story, husband resents his wife. He's taking his unhappiness out on her and making her miserable. How awful for her...
This first girl, RUN!!!!!
Don't just run SPRINT!!! I'd get as far away as possible in the quickest time I could.
I love how clueless Riley was when he asked @ 31:29 ; "How can people watch shows like that, where all they talk about is cheating and Bad Relationships and enjoy it", lol .... What did he think OKOP is !?! I swear he makes me laugh so hard.
You guys are too funny. 😊
When your life significantly improves when instead of having a spouse you're receiving child support the marriage is beyond saving. The 'husband' in story 1 is despicable, even if she didn't receive a dime after divorce she'd be better off.
Not done listening to the first story yet but she needs to throw the whole husband away. If you can even call him that.
I have been love bombed, I was in an abusive relationship once and he wasn’t love bombing. Love bombing is what gets you to love them at first. Then they start to test your limits and boundaries to make you desperate for their love again. They then make you believe you’re losing them, just to come back and love bomb you again. You are constantly in high highs or low lows, it’s addicting. If he never has done this before, I’m pretty sure it’s not love bombing, but if it creates a cycle, it is.
Ooof this is awful. My first husband was just like this - except he left the military and then refused to work, left the kids with his family when i was working at the hospital (to cheat of course). Never cooked, i had to pay child support for his child we were raising because he was taken by CPS from his ex/thr kids mother. Plus he was a wicked alcoholic and was abusive. I finally left after he nearly killed me. Spent the next few years dealing with criminal court, family court and some wicked PTSD. Its been 14 years and Im mostly healed, but man that was a terrible time in my life. This OP needs to leave like yesterday!
With the husband thinking she had breast implants, I’m pretty sure those have to be replaced every ten to fifteen years. Since she was with him for ten years, if she did have implants, she would have gotten them before him, meaning that she would need to replace them by now. So the husband would definitely know if her breasts were “fake”, which they aren’t.
That's not really an argument. This could be upcoming, or be delayed, or whatever.
The real argument is her not having the right scars and them not feeling as if there was something in there.
Divorce Divorce Divorce. Gets worse as it keeps going on
TLDR: My ex was exactly like this guy. Like to an absolute tee!
He never helped with the kids because that was "my job." I remember the moment I knew I had to leave. I had a scared 3 year old and a screaming newborn, riding out hurricane Sandy by ourselves. The power went out, and the basement apartment we lived in started flooding. He had left a week prior because he said he was tired of my "laziness" because I didn't live up to his mothers standards (stay at home mom from the time she was 19 and never worked a day in her life.) When i called him to help clean up the apartment after the flooding, he told me it was karma for being so messy and I needed to figure it out by myself if I wanted to earn his respect back. In his lease, it states that he is responsible for upkeep and maintaining the apartment while hes in it, in exchange for a lower monthky rent. Well, my name wasn't on the lease, so I took whatever of mine and the kids things that hadn't gotten damaged and left him to deal with the apartment. He refused to deal with it and demanded I go back and clean up or he was going to go after me for full custody because I wasn't fit to be a mother. Meanwhile, he's been at that friend's house that they tell you you're crazy for being concerned about it. I refused to go clean up the apartment, and I stopped answering his texts and calls. He ignored the apartment for months, and eventually, the landlord was notified by the upstairs neighbors that they could smell mold and had moisture creeping up from the basement apartment. My ex was then sued for $50,000 in damages and legal fees. Shortly later, the courts granted me primary custody of the kids. He has supervised visitations and child support payments. I found my fiancé a few years later, and it's so crazy how different a real man is from what I'm used to. He doesn't have kids and doesn't want any of his own, but he treats my kids like royalty. He treats me like he's the luckiest man in the world just to know me. I have been so unbelievably happy in a healthy relationship with a man that values everything I do and every move I make. I have never felt so loved or understood. With him by my side, my confidence, motivation, and determination, my love of life, has all exploded in growth, and it feels like I'm a new person. Always leave the shitty situation. You could be wasting time you could be spending enjoying life. ❤
He bleached that load on pourpose, to avoid ever having to wash clothes again...
I also thought it could be weaponized incompetence
Story 2: I don't think it's love bombing, more like groveling.
This guy was supposedly a marine but he feels more like a marine from the 50’s. I guess he never got the memo that women can be marines now.
I think this was just them perpetrating stereotypes to be honest. Not cool.
I have a different three Cs of relationships: Communion, Care and Closeness
That’s very good! Is communion kid of a mix of communication and comprehension?
I’m not sure what it means in english
@@sophiacalon3463 yea, communication is supposed to end up in understanding each other 😊
The first dude is only gonna continue to get worse over the years if she stays with him
He will absolutely murder her eventually if she doesn't leave
1st story. Funny how we're just a paragraph in and already the flags are flying sirens are blaring 😂 run girl
The story about the boob job. How are yall putting the blame on the co-workers?? They didn't ruin his marriage. He did it to himself when he brought the accusations home. He easily gave into peer pressure and is weak minded. Too much of trying to give the accountability or punishment to the co workers.
He really needs to look up info. i have H. And i dont want the size. Ive had back issues for years. Some people have gotten boob jobs that size and its insane they see that and then their surprised they get back issues
More SAHMs need to give the men the kids when they get divorced. Her husband has NO clue what it is like to raise a kid. He needs to experience it. I know a year after I went back to work, my husband apologized to me for not believing me all those years. And all that changed was he had to wake up the kids and get them ready for school! Also, because he had more vacation and personal, he was the one the school called if the kids were sick. Before, he'd say things like they were faking it or my taking the kids to the Dr to get checked was unnecessary. Now he asks me (I get home earlier) to schedule appointments if they are sick. I still remember the first time one of my kids got sick at school. My kid had said they didn't feel good, but he sent them anyway. They threw up in their first period class. Or the time I was concerned about another kid's arm because they had fallen off their scooter on the way home from school. It was 8:00 at night and I was checking on the arm. My husband got upset and wouldn't listen to me because kid needed to go to bed. "What am I going to do?! Take them to the Dr?!" He would not listen to me, so I let it go and let him find out the next day. Sure enough, he got a call from the school first thing in the morning because kid's arm hurt. Kid's arm had a small fracture.
My guess is her husband is bitter because now he isn't the center of attention. He hasn't adapted and realized things are different now because there is a child. He probably wants things to be like they used to be.
People really over-use/misuse "love bombing". For one its usually part of a pattern were it follows abusive behavior and is done with the intention to keep abusing someone. Also its never that thoughtful, his actions did come from regret and looking for forgiveness but they were also kind and thoughtful.
Very rarely is true love bombing ever anything that personal. Because that requires them actual listen to you in the first place
4:08 The problem is that he’s on Red Pill Reddit and she and she’s on normal Reddit.
I know I’m late to the story here. But my brother is a marine and father and husband…..he doesn’t treat his wife and kid like this. Former Army myself, if the army or marines heard about OPs husband mistreating her like this, he would be reported and arrested for spousal abuse. They don’t train you to be abusive. It is illegal! Even if he’s discharged from service, he can still be charged. His behavior isn’t from training, it’s how he was raised or it’s red pill after adulthood.
Creepy Marine husband: she ABSOLUTELY must have a safety plan for leaving - this man is exhibiting every red flag that he'll escalate to violence. Right after birth and right after you leave are the most dangerous times for partners.
She can't talk about leaving before she does it, and she can't tell him alone in their home. I am so serious about this
He is extremely abusive! He wants a young girl to control! He is beating her down emotionally so he can fully control her. That’s insane that if she is feeding the baby when he get home she is lazy. He wants a 50s era wife standing at the door with a sexy outfit on holding a cocktail and dinner ! Or maybe he doesn’t like her and is trying to be mean until she leaves !!
That first story is why divorce is a good thing. Girl run fir your life literally your life. Get the baby and block this pig. Op deserves way better.
39:03 I lost it at the news cast thing 😂😂😂
BAD BAD BAD advice! Talk to a DV expert and develop a safety plan before he knows what's up. Leaving is the most dangerous time for an abused partner.
The last OP needs to cut ties with the girl if she keeps trying to overstep his boundaries. Hope she realises OP isn't going to put up with her behaviour and is willing to put boundaries in place for her ex or cuts him out if he tries to overstep.
The fruit scale edit... Zack your amazing lol!
It's a very cool edit but inaccurate... Cup size is relative to back size. A 32A is not the same as a 40A. Common misconception.
I love when Sophia does a southern accent in that dude voice! IT IS SOOO FUNNY! 😂❤
1st story: OP needs to leave that misogynistic, abusive AH. She should have left him the first time this happened.
Idiot coworkers story: HR deals with issues that affect an employees work. They aren't going to deal with idiots suggesting a coworker has had work done.
The first man is absolutely horrid! Plus saying you should feel lucky to spend time with HIS KIDS? Are you kidding?
Story one, LEAVE THIS MAN
The first story sounds exactly like the situation I'm in. My mom was the housewife type. I do my best to keep the house clean but I have 2 young kids so things don't stay clean for long. If they mess the place after I've cleaned hell come home and yell at me. I've been with him for 8 1/2. I begged my family to help me leave him in my early 20s but my offered me zero support to get away from the emotional abuse and control we experience. This put a strain on the relationship between me and my mom. Everytime I tried to leave he used our children as a weapon saying he would take them away from me. He even managed to get joint custody of them so I can't leave state with them. The rules need to different for family court system so it doesn't allow entrapment which is the situation that I'm in. Unfortunately I cannot leave because I will not leave the kids with him over my dead body so for now I endure and hopefully one day I'll have enough money to bury his ass in court and leave with my babies. If I can leave I don't think I'm ever dating again. I had no idea men could trap there partners ladys please don't quit your jobs to be a stay at home mom that'd what got me in this situation. Once my Job was gone I had nothing.
I really hope your children will appreciate your sacrifice. Make sure to leave him as soon as they left their most vulnerable age. You don't need to wait until they left the house. Depending on tht legislation of your location the kids have a say in where they want to stay as well once they reached a certain level of maturity. Where I live this will often be around the age of 14. Sometimes earlier.
That being said: entrapment is one way of looking at it. And in an abusive relationship that's what it feels like to the victim, and what the intention of the abuser is. But unless you can prove actual abuse to the court, courts also have to keep in mind the inverse scenario, where one partner just abuses the power custody gives them to hurt their partners, entirely disregarding the rights of that other partner and the well being of the kids. That's why not allowing one party to just move far far away makes sense. In Europe we have the same issue, but with actual borders in mind. That's why our version of TSA will require both parents consent to allow kids crossing the border. Kidnapping children and bringing them into another jurisdiction is a thing both sexes do when a relationship turns ugly. Not allowing that while parents have joint custody is actually a good thing.
Your real battle, if you want to leave him early, is thus to get sole custody. Which might unfortunately be hard or even impossible. I wish you all the best ...
I love that Riley's response to the well endowed women was about the weight and his aww. Most guys don't get that larger ones actually suck for us
The story where the guy is thinking his wife is lying about the boob job, Makes me question.Why are these men so easily influenced? Why is it when they hear something on a podcast, Or they watch a show, They are just so quickly and so easily influenced. It's just mind blowing. Like, dude blew up his whole marriage bc he watched a TV show 😒..
It's not just men. If women were less impressionable homeopathy wouldn't be a thing, to give just one such example more specific to women ...
Last story: not being in contact doesn't mean they'll never get back together. Maybe some distance between the two, but cutting contact doesn't mean they aren't thinking about each other.
First story sounds like my relationship lol ive been trying to safely get out for a while now. Its so difficult to leave sometimes. And im disabled. Its all fucked
Get the police involved the day you leave. Get a place, a new job for in a month and a new number. Don’t tell. The day you move out, ask the police to supervise you getting your stuff. Tell them to tell him you want no more contact. Once it’s done, you have a different number he can’t contact, you’ll have a new place and he can’t stalk you at your workplace😊
@@sophiacalon3463 I hadn't even thought to askt he police for help with my things. I was prepared to leave it all lol
I'm also disabled and I became disabled during my relationship, I know exactly what you're talking about. I feel so vulnerable, I think many men see us as that or grow to resent us.
My bf told me he was there for me and he did a lot to help me, he was the first person to not treat me different for my genetic condition, but one day he started complaining I didn't make him breakfast even when I explained how terrible I am at cooking eggs and it wasn't easy to do anything else all day after cooking over the stove and I had laundry to do. Then he started not checking on me when I had migraines, basically calling me lazy and blaming me for my illnesses, doubting one he was present for at diagnosis; although the last 3 were at the very end.
I may have POTS and I was having difficulty even standing up before I increased my salt intake, I'm going for testing.
On retrospect I should have left the 1st or 2nd time I was in the grocery store and he left to hang out with his friend. I went grocery shopping with my dad recently and started feeling dizzy and he sent me to sit in the car while he loaded up the bags. He's over 60. He didn't hold it over my head at any point later.
I dunno, I hate how difficult it is to distinguish respect from a calculated act.
Story 1: How did she end up marrying this guy?
Probably rebellious phase against parents or bad/no parents and no support network. She got preyed on by someone a lot older who saw she was vulnerable.
He probably was a good guy at first.
Yea tht first story, she needs to leave! Take her baby and leave. Unfortunately, she can’t take the other 2 kids. They’re not hers. But she needs to take her baby and GTFO. She’s SO young. Don’t waste your entire life on this horrible man.
If a husband's " friends or co- worker " makes comments about a wife's body he should tell them I am happy with how just the way she is and tell them to mind their own business. That is just not normal talking about other people's spouses in an office space. Bet they talk even worse about any female co workers
Sophia as HR is the best!
In the boob job story, I don't think it needs to be reported to HR. She talked with the guys that made him believe she had enhancements, in front of their wives, that's worse than going to HR because now they have to hear about it at home. I also think that those co-workers are the reason he started watching the tv show about spouses hiding work they had done and other problems.
Last story, they did have more than a friendly relationship. At one point in the story, he mentioned that were basically friends with benefits. That alone can complicate the situation.
Omg yesterday i couldnt find an episode i havent listened to yet! Im so happy to have this video for today! Listen to you guyd at work and the gym, i love yall and one day i hope to meet you all, though im in Pennsylvania so i may never get to! But theres always hoping! Hail the worm queen sofia 🪱 👸 👑 ❤
God that first story sounds like my EX husband before he got sober. He doesn’t think that way now that he’s sober and a single dad half the time. Funny how that works eh?
They work in medical... but don't understand basic anatomy or how to tell fake from real? .. fire them all
😂😂😂 Riley!!! Who would watch a show about people cheating. Lolllll
Brownie scene…. Top tier!
Always love it when John’s on!
37:21 the cut screen is fire 😂🔥
That’s the key! The concept of doing your best to make sure each partner has about equal amounts of rest/free time. If neither of you have adequate free time, you cannot spend it with loved ones.
Not only go see cheap lawyers, go make appointments with all the best lawyers in your area. This way they can’t represent him if he tries to hire them later on.
Riley: how big is that, gimme a fruit 😅
Story 1: she needs to not tell him what she is thinking or what she wants or what she is going to do this walking 🚩 will gaslight her so bad that she will doubt her reality.
Story #1 He’s a dirtbag
My abusive ex paid a lawyer to fight against paying child support and as a result we got 50/50 custody on paper (no child support), but for most of my son's life the dad has lived in another state and has never contributed a single penny to his upbringing. My son will be 17 this week and I've raised him 100% on my own. It's HARD, but doable. And i do recognize that the economy sucks SO MUCH MORE today than it did pre-2016 and that i was lucky to be able to support him on low wages while I worked my way through 2 university degrees
I love Riley (got 0 clue how to spell his name) but I say give him a cookie for them dishes
And for extra measures ;when getting that divorce get a restraining order just in case he’s a clear threat to you and the kids .Which could be the case if he ‘s that much of a pyscopath !…
The first story reminds me of my mom's side of the family mostly the older men. I love making them feel incompetent.
The first story The husband is completely abusive I prescribe to my gender role I enjoy working long hours and taking care of my wife but man or woman if one person is working long hours the other one should be taken care of the house whether it be man or woman if my wife was the provider and worked all day You're damn right The house will be done The kids will be taken care of and food would be ready when she got home. Because at the end of the day it's a partnership
Every time Riley comes on screen, I can’t help but notice how beautiful his skin is lol
Story #1Run and keep running .It gave me flashbacks. Of course all Marines aren't this way . I married a Marine at 23 . We were same age but he had a lot of theses ideas . I didnt know until I married him and had children. He kept the comments to himself but the behavior became apparent. Unfortunately, this isn't just a 50 years ago mindset .Many men still have this mindset
I’m a 5’7” with a G cup, RIP MY BACK IS REAL, and overweight and I’m offended for her. My bf has never once complained or accused them of being fake, as have a lot of scars. I also have an open heart surgery scar and he has never complained or did any crazy shit like tht
I hate when Reddit puts “love bombing” on genuine acts of gaining forgiveness. He was trying to apologize so he went level 10, but that’s not love bombing. He doesn’t give her gifts every time they fight. This was a big issue and needed a big apology.
Riley: At some point, I hope you understand that the way they talk to you (constantly putting you down and pass it off as "joking") isn't how real friends talk to eachother. That's all.
34:12 In the second story did anyone notice the fact that they said his female best friend were talking crap and calling her over dramatic? Or was it just me... makes me wonder if there was some cheating and it was love bombing but as a distraction from that over anything else
Omg somebody please give that poor girl the resources to leave this man
u two are gold.
Safety planning is key. Everyone is advocating divorce but not that a safety plan is necessary when leaving someone so controlling. Safety plan! You will need one.
Score for Riley! I knew immediately and seeing them thinking lol sorry guys i have memory issues and it was nice to see that look on some others faces
She said he wasn't like that in the beginning, but that's the thing. They never are. They start acting that way once you're invested in the relationship. Speaking from experience unfortunately
non-boob job story i thought of the story where the guys family and friends lied to him to try to get with his wife... maybe they just trying to get to her
Y'all!!! Let Riley be Riley!!!!
5:34 taking care of the kids from what I imagine is the woman who managed to get TF away!
it's absolutely wild that people yell divorce over every disagreement on Reddit. But first guy should be left and all his kids taken. He is a true narcissist
I was married to a military man and had to frequently remind him that the kids and I never were and he was not our drill Sargent
40:34 YOU'RE WELCOME! LMAO
50:21 I do feel like there is a casual way that her boobs could have been brought up. It could look a little something like:
Man has pictures of family on his desk/office or he’s showing someone pictures for one reason or another and it only takes one of those guys to see a picture of op wife’s and it will be very noticeable how big her boobs are.
I’m about 2 inches shorter and 15 pounds heavier than op but my boob size is about a size bigger.
Throughout my life I’ve heard all kinds of questions and people often wonder if they are real because how does a person develop in a way where naturally the majority of their weight goes into her boobs? It definitely happens but just not as often so one of his coworkers could have seen her and easily thought those can’t be real because that doesn’t make sense. Plus the world has WILD amounts of plastic surgery at crazy high rates!
They would likely eventually make a comment to op husband something like damn op husband your wife’s boobies are HUGE where did she get those and then it trickles down from there.
I would bet almost everything I own that he went on to Reddit and he read the responses and there was no way he was going to get on there with her. He is trying to guess like the heck out of her.
In the US, the YWCA is a resource for people suffering from intimate partner violence/DV. They have resources that will help you get out and help you build a safety plan and I hope you find a lawyer.
I would also contact the baby mama and make sure that she knows that you are leaving and that someone's gonna have to take care of her kids. It's not gonna be her.
He's the kind of person who I can very much see would avoid taxable income so that there's no way for her to get his wages garnished by the state for child support. But it does sound like she has postpartum depression and clearly in an abusive relationship.
If her local area doesn't have a YWCA, there usually are other resources for victims of domestic violence.
Even if he's not hitting her, he's definitely definitely mentally and emotionally abusing her.
I really hope that she has family or friends that will help her out
Also make sure that you're not recording someone in a two-party state. if you illegally record someone without their consent and estate that requires it, not only will that evidence not be used but it could get you in trouble too.
OMG Boobs guy deserves a dumpster for accusing her of lying.
🗣️DIVORCE! 🗣️DIVORCE!
I have those same pimple patched, they're so cute
btw loving the new graphics yall using
I’m out here at work on 2 hours of sleep so my pregnant wife can sleep through the night while our toddler is in a sleep regression, but somehow people like OP’s husband exist.
21:38 KID! Only one is hers
Did Riley ever explain why he calls it gas lamp? The term is from a movie called Gaslight, so I’m curious why he said that.
I have made the statement before that I'd like a part time boyfriend, but not made the stipulation he had to be my maid too lol. I just meant I'd like the exclusivity and care for a partner, but with less time commitment as I am a hermit and want to be alone a lot... so I get that aspect
First story: He's insecure, probably an underachiever, and is trying to boss someone around and feel powerful at home. She could do better.
Also I've been accused of having implants almost my whole life, its soo bizarre 😂 . Actually almost had a breast reduction, but didn't want surgery or scarring.
Absolutely insane first story... what a whiny little child
28:56 the great 3 Cs👌🏼🤌🏽
Shouldn’t the three C’s be: Communication, Cleaning and Care? (But still love Sophia’s 3)
Op definitely should leave but not tell him when and how, get yourself lawyered up.
I do not agree with you guys on the last story having your ex in your life on either side is way too messy, i was in a relationship was super lax and chill with my girlfriend talking to her ex especially since they had a daughter together regardless of believing she would only talk to him abt their daughter she slept with him for 7 months & made an onlyfans with him while she was still with me and was splitting the money with her ex....plus i hate when as soon as a guy brings up certain boundaries, we're made out to be "insecure" or "controlling" double standard
If it weren’t for the fact that they aren’t dating yet I’d absolutely think last person is an AH but with them not dating yet OP isn’t an AH, tho it is definitely insecurity rightly or wrongly being concerned about an ex IS insecurity that’s the definition of it. So to call it not insecurity is just wrong