STOP STIMMING NOW!
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2019
- STOP STIMMING NOW! - How would you react if someone told you to stop stimming while you where stimming?
Imagine being in a room feeling safe and secure. You are on the spectrum and you enjoy stimming, so you are stimming.
Someone burst into the room, picks you up, puts you out side on the street and says STOP STIMMING NOW.
How would you feel and how would you react to this kind of information? Being autistic myself with a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome having this experience thrust upon me is very upsetting and confusing.
I was supposed to be appearing on a national TV show with just days left before the show starting, all bags packed, all filming done, to then get a call telling me I am not doing it anymore and all contact stopping.
This was so upsetting and confusing I still cannot get my head around it. But this experience has shown me one thing, that the main stream media don't want to see autism represented on reality TV the don't want the 'risk' of that.
This is my personal experience with this and I am going to do everything I can to show that autism isn't a bad thing and it isn't a risk for anyone! Carry on stimming!
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I was diagnosised with Aspergers about four years ago, and one of my favorite stims at the time was to rock back and forth in my chair at school. I was constantly told by my mother, teachers, etc, to stop rocking. My IEP team even set-up a system that if my teacher caught me rocking, my mom would be emailed by her.
The threat of an email home basically scared me into stopping the stim. I eventually grew out of that stim on my own, but being told my stimming was wrong definitely hurt me. I’ve now gotten to the point where I don’t care what anybody says. I rock at school, I’ll flap my hands, and even my new favorite stim, quoting lines from Netflix’s new show “The Politician”.
Don’t let anybody tell you not to stim. People need to stim, it’s as simple as that. Stim all you want. Don’t listen to the people that bring you down.
*I know that was a lot, and no one asked for it, but I wanted to share my story with being told not to stim.*
Thank you for sharing :)! That means a lot! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).
I still rock lmao, it’s not an amazing habit and I’ve been told to stop, but I’ll stim if I want to. Good on you for realizing that.
I've got a few different stems that I have always done oh, but the one that seems to annoy people the most is tapping. I am almost always tapping out a rhythm that was probably one of the main reasons I became a percussionist during middle and high school to help get out some of that energy in a more constructive and less annoying way. I'm not sure if it's so much of a stimming action but sometimes I can't get my leg to stop jittering and bouncing around. It could be more to do with the ADHD or schizophrenia or just at neuro condition in general.
... i just realized that that was a stim when i used to do it, that makes sense!
Very interesting comment! Thanks for sharing. My son stims by going around a statue or in a circular motion and making the noise of a bus (his obsessions are vehicles but he likes buses more)
That's terrible. It's good you're showing the world how we're discriminated against like that.
It's such a shame most autism on tv is unrealistic and that show had an opportunity to change that and they blew it. Don't worry Dan now you can get them back and do even more amazing things to prove them wrong!!! You can DEFINETLY carry the tourch and represent ASD on a national level!
Unrealistic as in always portraying them as a genious?
I remember reading an article about that and how it can be damaging.
PS- Stop stimming ?! That feeling sounds like anxiety to me!
Lol I thought this was an instructional vid to stop stimming.
Haha boooooo
@Nodalise Hill - Me too! @The Aspie World - You should do an actual tutorial on stimming :-)
I'm an young girl who stims with arm flaps and finger bending and being diagnosed with Aspergers and other disabilities,I'm disgusted by what they did
That is totally unacceptable to turn you down after saying you were going to be on it. I would out them and take it further.
I literally get it. Our family was cast for Genealogy Road Show, here in U.S., then they "passed" on us. Felt exactly as you do, now. Exactly. But 5 years on, I rarely think of it. In awhile, it will be a mostly insignificant bump, in life's rearview mirror. Just take another turn, and keep motoring on.
Sometimes stimming is the only thing that helps us process too much or too little information.
The TV companies NEED to be excepting of ALL people regardless of their abilities or difficulties and to be mindful of their actions towards said individuals.
Not everyone's ability or difficulties are visible for the world to see.
We Humans are Perfectly imperfect in a weird, wonderfully and confusing way. 🌟
Hi Dan, sorry to hear about people letting you down. They have lost the contribution of someone who would have done an awesome job of it.
As a kid and teenager I used to stim a lot and whenever I did it in a way, I would be told to stop it ,only to find a different way to do it. Then as an adult I would do it so subtly as to conform.It can't be helped, it's got to come out somehow Since my diagnosis a few months back (am 51) I feel I don't have to hold back.Stiming is there for a reason.
Your videos are awesome they really help my brother with autism so thank you very much
You are more than welcome!! Glad to help! Thanks for the support!
Best video! Not dull. Well done. Super authentic, love, love.
Oh, man... That suck. But you expressed such a complex emotion in this video it made it probably the best of yours yet. I love your channel because of you and I learned a lot from you and I overcame some big problems of mine because of you so I know for sure that you're doing the right thing anyway. I hope your channel grow and I wish you only better and reliable opportunities!
Greetings from Bulgaria!
My parents ever since I was a kid used to tell me off for stimming and say things like "if you don't stop that now. God help you" but now they accept it as I'm an adult
Yes that’s good that you now have them understanding :).
@@TheAspieWorld and I hope you get the recognition you deserve from those people who descriminated against you as there is nothing wrong with stimming at all
@@Space_Princess nobody has ever told me to stop it. But I told myself to stop it. It is my choice to I find it annoying and I dislike it. Trying to just get rid of that personality of mine for myself only. I have very little autism so it's basically hardly there nor can you tell easily. But it's something I deal with and it's annoying
BTW, I loved the tea montage and the whole teal/turquoise aesthetic of this video. Your comparison for how you're feeling and being told not to stim was probably spot on. I've had major setbacks in my life before so I can relate to how you must feel and it really is a whole mind and body upset. just watched your silver button unboxing and I'm so glad for the timing of when it arrived because you definitely needed the reminder of how much you've accomplished and how far you've come.
Thank you so much. It is amazing to me that you picked up on the edit of the video in such detail :)! Thank you so much for the comment!
Hey Dan! First off, I am genuinely proud of all your accomplishments and how you've come as a person. Secondly, even when projects cut you out or things don't line up, it's completely not your fault and was, potentially, just to open newer and better doors/opportunities for you in particular. Coming from first-hand experience I've had that was in a similar light, someone's opinion of you doesn't define how many more see you for the impact you bring for autism awareness and advocacy. Keep your head up and always know that you are set for even more incredible things ahead
This is only the beginning Dan, you have so many more Amazing days ahead of you keep being awesome
So sorry this has happened to you. We love you and you have helped so many people. Don't let others dictate your worth. Please remember you are worthy. Much love to you!
In a way, this used to happen to me a lot in school. Teachers who weren't informed of me and my fidgeting would tell me to stop moving around, not knowing at all that fidgeting is the main way I maintain focus and concentration during lectures and conversations. So when they would say anything along the lines of "stop fidgeting and pay attention" they were effectively getting the opposite result of what they wanted, which would lead into a whole plethora of issues the more it continued
(I compare it to opening Pandora's Box)
And the weird thing is, the stuff I was doing wasn't even that bad (except the pen clicking and the tapping, those were apparently really annoying to everyone else), they just had this notion that if I was moving, I wasn't paying attention (which again, is wrong)
Like how I was told "stop talking and get ready to go" but me talking was not delaying my getting ready, using two completely different parts of my brain.
"Look at me when I am talking to you, so I know you are paying attention" was another demand of me that was contradicting. I have more concentration power if I am NOT also concentrating on looking at them.
Looking at people 'properly' is a complicated dance of not glaring at them 100% (30% of the time seems to be the right measurement of looking). It's complained about when I am looking at them in 'the wrong way'. Looking at their nose also isnt right as they question "why are you looking at me that way?". And cant look at them 100% of the time cause they also question the oddness of how I am looking at them. Much easier for me to listen if I am not wasting my energy on concentrating on how long I have to look at them, and where exactly I should be looking, as well as not moving my eyes too much or too little around their face. A complicated dance that took me until I was 21yrs old to get that 'proper' balance, which I knew I finally got it right when... they didnt even notice.
Lack of commentary about how I look at them, so no compliments, no rewards for doing it right... just lacking complaints once I get the dance just right.
I wish it wasn't required to begin with.
Luvin the hair ("What's going on with my hair?!" :D ) and the videography/editing! Nice!
Keep awesome man don’t let no one ever put you dow, the work you do representing autism is great ✌️
You are cute as a button. You’re certainly worthy of TV or anything you want to do really. I love your positivity and honesty.
BTW, I’m a 73-year-old woman with an A/S member in our family whom I love to the moon and beyond. Sending love and support from Iowa, USA. ❤️
Don’t fret, as something better is on the horizon for you!
~ Lori ~
I enjoy your videos. There is more i want to say but having a hard time getting it out. Dont let anyone tell you you cant stim. Hope to see more vlogs in the future.
You make a big difference for us in the world, thank you. I get this a lot. I’m sorry you are going through this too. :( we gotta stick together.
I like this vlog style vid. Always a fan Dan!
How did you just jump from the sadness and the tea to the cool library, hahaha you got me suprised there! :)
I love your videos! Makes life so much more easy and relatable for me! Thank you! I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was 7, I’m 15 now, and I appreciate you! I’m sorry that they did that, I’m happy we have someone like you to represent us!
Hey thank you so much for the support!!
The Aspie World No problem man! I gotchu!
One day it will be acceptable. Thank you for using your voice and power to bring attention to something so important.
You probably won't read this - I'm nearly a week late seeing this. Don't ever stop being who you are, no matter what. It's not worth it for you. If they don't want all of you, then that is their loss - as well as their audience's loss. I'm glad you talked about this, you have demonstrated perfectly (and possibly unknowingly) just how upset and anxious you are by your actions and dialogue. I don't mean your autism is worse because you're upset, I do mean that it is more apparent while you are dealing with an upsetting issue. You will look back on this later on and realise that if they had taken you up, you wouldn't have been free for something better FOR YOU. The want has to be mutual for it to work, they have to want you as much as you want them - like any partnership/relationship. I love your work on UA-cam, you have helped me get closer to my daughter (now 16yrs); she knows that I've got her back on whichever path she chooses, and she is stronger for it!
Your course on coping course is de bomb! You are de bomb! I believe something more dope will open up! Doors are opening!! Omg I love the bean bags!!! I adore and appreciate you! Sharing the ❤️! Peace ✌️
I got told of in lesson yesterday for 'low level disruption'. I am already put in the back corner by that teacher, and now he is not letting me stim as it 'distracts' others when they cant even see me
Anne-Lou. My friend tried to explain for me, but the teacher said that if i continued in his lesson then he will talk to my head of year. I wish i could explain to teachers better but i physically cant speak to anyone who isnt close friends or family
Getting in to TV and film is really hard. At least you made it through the first set of doors as a possible hire. Even professionals have to deal with multiple rejections before they get that far. I think you have the right attitude about faith. Stay positive, nurture those connections you made, and keep finding ways to put yourself out there. Good luck!
I get this exact thing so often (well not the tv bit) but being thrown into chaos after people just drop you, after you've planned everything and prepared. It is so unfair and debilitating when it happens.... I feel for you!
I always struggle for weeks afterwards.
Keep the faith Dan and keep on with the excellent work you do. Your channel and videos are an invaluable resource for so many around the world, informative, inspirational and inclusive. The real loser here is the television channel and not you.
Don’t be so hard on yourself! I think you are and have been doing such a wonderful job “holding the autism torch” as you put it lol I w hot your videos and insight very much. It has allowed me to better understand and know how to communicate with my son. All
Of your hopes and aspirations you want to do on behalf of your autism/aspie community are already happening! Already over 100k followers and growing quickly! I think that’s pretty good “proof in the pudding” in itself
Lol 👍✌️ you got this
So sorry you had to deal with discrimination. You would be a wonderful representative of aspbergers. Unfortunately, there is ugly opinions in the world. You're awesome! We are all a work in progress, and you have done great things, and will do many more!
Wow. Totally messed up. I had a older woman who I respected, try and help me stop stimming before I knew that is what I was doing, I told everytime I chew my tongue say Will Smith and see if that helps. It made me aware of what I was going very frequently. PS. I love your videos. Keep them coming despite what can come on. We Need you
It's so good you shared your feelings as its so good to see we are all the same we all have self doubt here in new Zealand we called it our inner critic
Cool vlog. It felt like I was actually there listening to you or having a one sided video conversation. I don't understand the vagaries of television productions or casting or any of that. I don't think these people want reality unless it's overblown and grossly exaggerated. Which seems to reinforce stereotypes of those of us on the spectrum when portraying us. Which is disgusting. I don't do libraries any longer. I'm home alone most of the time, but you've given me an idea. When I need to be around people, but don't want much interaction and don't want to go to a store, spending money I don't have, I can go to a nice new library near me. And just sit and read or write in my journal. Or sketch...or just chill. Peace out. What happened says more about them than it does you, but you know that. Peace out.
There’s a show here in America ( huge shocker here) that they have an ACTOR portraying Autism... I’m sorry it’s the same in the U.K🙁. DONOT give up, YOU ARE VALUED❤️ Nice SMALL space👏 Glad you got out you looked happier at the end.
Thank you so much 💚✌🏼
The Aspie World you’re welcome 😊✌🏻
Fantastic video! Your red sweater is fantastic. Do you know what brand it is?
Why don't you out the show for showing this attitude it's discrimination you had every right to do so - much respect for the work you do... All the best
Dang that library is better than the one near where I live in the US :/
I get told off for my stims constantly. I get told it’s annoying, distracting, loud or stupid but for me it’s the only thing helping me through that moment. My support workers (I live in residential) tell me I’m pathetic and to stop it. No tapping, rocking, clicking, wiggling etc. They get especially annoyed when I flap my arms when I’m having trouble processing. Maybe you could do what I do “shun the nonbelievers” (unicorns) forget about them your awesome and if they can’t see that it’s their loss. I liked this video it’s real.
"Super old clothes" Well, excuse me for snickering in my 10 y.o. jeans which were transferred to homewear only a couple months ago :)
Seriously though, it's not your fault some TV officials are biased asshats. Or some people in general. I personally would like someone like you to represent us on national TV, and I think you can do a great job doing that. Especially now, when a lot of progress has already been made. And being the same generation as you (although from about 6 timezones away), I'm actually surprised it's the first time you've encountered a situation like this because things started getting better just recently. Anyway, although I don't know the full situation, I believe that this one isn't on you, in any way, and that you'll get another chance. Good luck.
Of course you are good enough. 103k+ people think so. Do not doubt yourself you are brilliant and will get there and then you can turn them down!
That's horrible. They should get sued for discrimination. Don't stress about whether you think you are "good" representation for Asperger's syndrome. You have Aspergers. You represent them no matter how "good" some guy in a boardroom thinks you are. You can and you ARE a great representation. I've been helped so much by these videos. We need more people with Aspergers and all autistics on the spectrum to be visible on tv, or we're just going to chocked up to being another sitcom stereotype.
Your a perfect person to repersent Autism in any capacity .Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. .Their loss will be someone elses gain. I believe thinks happen for a reason .this just wasnt your time. But better oppertunietis are on the way ☘
Nice change for the video style. Getting some strong Peter McKinnon vibes :3
Whoooo thank you so much!! 💚✌🏼
It’s horrible when people disappoint you it’s hard too understand. It’s not you it’s them they missed out more opportunities will be round the corner ✊️
When im rejected
It makes me feel like MY fault 4 some reason since small
Now that im hearing.
This video
It touches ma heart
I feel ok.
U ma hero :')
you got this!
To be honest, I'm on the spectrum. And a few of my goals are to reduce all that, and talk less to myself. I also wanna be looking at anyone in the eye. Instead of looking at somebody with both eyes, I'd rather be looking at someone with only one eye. That is the easiest way for me.
I’m sry to hear that I appreciate you are awesome and help me out with understanding autism I’m on the Spectrum I have autism too
💚
I am also in the autism spectrum and no one told me to stop stimming. Plus , I feel you for the season change because I live in Canada. My first language is french and I can speak english as well. I just keep stimming discretly in public places.
I feel like because I'm undiagnosed and "high functioning" appearing, that people will judge me for stimming so I only do it home alone or some subtle stims. If anyone points it out or notices, I stop.
Waiting for my psychiatrist referral today. I got a 33 on the AQ test but I had a hard time comprehending the questions.
I like your hair style by the way.
I do a toe wiggling rubbing thing. I can do it inside my shoes and it’s out of eye-line even when I wear sandals. I guess I’m pretty lucky it doesn’t distract other people to much and it soothes me as needed. Although, sometimes I do kind of ‘snap’ my big toes and it kind of thumps the floor so it is distracting to others when it is quiet or I’m watching tv with my family or we are all trying to work on our computers.
I can’t deny that my stimming can sometimes distract the people around me, some of whom are really sensitive to repetitive input themselves. We all have to generously learn to accommodate each other with loving kindness. That sometimes means can’t be in the same room with each other.
😂🤣😂
Dang, TV channels are acting as if we were criminals.
When i am sitting don on i kick swing my legs it helps me a teacher tell me stop i say i can't help she says stop or you will have to sit on the flor, then a one time a kid was saying it is annoying when i do he said stop but the teacher was like can just try and tap your legs a bit cryetar idid do it a bit cryeter but the kid keep telling me to stop then the teacher she swamped spots with me she is the aid in my class and I always like moving do you have any tips on if someone tells you to stop doing it stimming
The title of the video is definitely something my mum would say
Something like that has happened to me multiple times!! I’ll get so excited and then for it to be ripped away from me I immediately cry.. and have a meltdown and temper tantrum.. I have a lot of mood swings and one time a doctor thought I had bipolar.. it was that bad.. my temper tantrums were so bad that I was completely blinded by my anger.. no reasoning no nothing just full on temper tantrum.. it’s was terrifying! I had no control over my body.. those times are absolutely scary!!
Now that you are aware of that keep grinding even harder. You know karma is a real thing and it will catch up on these people.
Thank you so much! 💚✌🏼
@@TheAspieWorld thx to you too 😊
Was the show hunted
If I stopped stimming, I'd have more meltdowns.
Self-soothing is as necessary to me as breathing.
Hey Dan! I am sorry you went through that. It sounds like what I experienced when I was forced to leave my masters program because of my bipolar diagnosis. That being said It's good to hear you talk about your experience. I love your positivity and all you tips and everything but it's good to see that you human and you struggle too.
I don't understand stimming, mainly because I don't do it myself. It's weird, considering I have aspergers, and don't stim.
You can Do it👍💖
Thank you so much
I have no idea whether I have Asperger's or not but I do not enjoy stimming and I wish I could stop. It is very time consuming and it's really annoying I need it. Used to spend all school breaks in the bathroom just rocking back and forth, I still do it although I am in uni and working now (but my brain doesn't care I don't have time to do this lol). And I still leave some plastic chairs broken cause my brain is stupid and doesn't think about consequences when it wants me to stim. I wish I could just take a pill and stop this shit but haha no pill so I guess I'll just have to go to bathroom from time to time and spend hours there
I was never exactly punished for rocking. People who have seen me were.. emmm.. nice? And kind of just asked me to stop the noise but did not comment on how weird I am for doing it. But I also sort of tried to hide it and do it in private (well, as a teen, as a kid I couldn't control myself at all and didn't really see what's the problem anyway) cause I did not want to be, em, assumed to be possessed by a demon lol
If I understand correctly, stimming can be like when I bounce my legs or don't sit still on my chair?
If so it just feels "wrong" to stop, and I don't like people telling me to go to the bathroom already. D:
I totely realy on my benfints. Its so stress full worrying all the time.
I want to call them an advocate for you!!!
Why are his likes going down?
His videos are really interesting
Hi Dan, hearing that your experience with a well known TV organisation has upset me....unfortunately, in the 21st Century, discrimination in the TV industry is still pretty much alive and kicking. Unless your face/condition/disability fits for a certain purpose, these companies just don't want to know.
Don't let this experience stop you from being you and for doing your much needed work for the ASD community. I still don't understand why Aspergers syndrome isn't a recognised as a condition anymore...is the medical profession trying to hide the fact that autism exists, or they feel that the doctor who discovered it isn't credible enough?? Nobody should be ashamed to say that they have Aspergers, nor describe themselves as Aspies.
Finally, never ever question your knowledge, your skills and your abilities because some ignoramus has an issue with you stimmimg. They need to get an education themselves...you'd think these big and lucrative TV industries should be well informed in certain areas- what do they pay their researchers for??
Thank you again for sharing this with us. Continue to be your true, awesome self - you rock!! Take care X x 💗
This is very unfortunate! It's their loss...
I agree cereal wise I tried it once was disappointed since the commercials are awesome :) oh well
Haha
I hope you've got your faith in yourself back by now!
That's horrible to experience. Discrimination is just so ignorant. Also, unrelated but your hair looks amazing.
love you bunches dan by the way i love stimming
dang i thought this was an instructional vid so my classmates will stop calling me the r slur
PPS- Those folks need to send u some compensation for the abrupt cut off.
PPPS- #RANDYSQUAD!
I love tea with honey! Yummy 🍵!!
Noti squad
YUP!
Sorry to here that Dan. I have aspergers, i not workt for 16 years dew to my anxitey. I not very clever like you tho. Cant read and write very well. No good with computors
Think about what you learned from the experience. And if you haven't already, I'd write to thank the casting people who supported you. You'll have other opportunities. Sometimes how we take rejection can lead to bigger and better things. Peace. :)
Why don't you sue them?
I’m not about that life.
If they are the ones who tap a pencil or pen on the table or play with it between their fingers you should say (Stop that),and tell 'em That it is stimming.
Whether or not you can meet nonexistent criteria is unimportant. Do you feel like you have something you want to share?
That's the question.
Ps. Check your sub/viewer count if you want to know how many people think you are worth listening to. Then take that number and try and visualize _every single person._
Because let's be honest; Numbers are easily 'meaningless'. But they're not.
That is discriminatory that is really messed up
I’m an Aspie or Autie!
Sounds like the Social media, faking or real people on Channel 4 programme you missed out on.👀😡
🤭
Thought you were vegan. That cereal will have animal gelatine in it's marshmallows - Yeuk!
Any cereal with marshmallow and that colorful is ewwwww.
You’re numbers talk by itself so don’t doubt about you and you’re work cause you’re numbers say other things... don’t worry men if a door is closed another one will be open good luck bother
I stim
but the network is there to make money, and to please the influentials. they don't care.
This is discrimination
All cereal with cartoons are gross!
Agree