Owning an animal is the greatest gift of protection against a narcissist. I dated a man for a while and he wanted to get married, but insisted I just dump my dogs in the country because he didn't want pets. I dumped HIM!
When I was a kid my dad would not let me have a pet. Considering how abusive he was, that was probably just as well. When I was 7 years old my grandma began staying with us, because my mom had left. My grandma brought her dog. I would play with him. When my grandma realized her dog liked me more than her, she took her dog and left. From time to time she would visit, but not bring her dog. I never saw him again. I found out from my uncle that whenever the dog would hear children outside, he would run to look out the window, as if he was looking for someone. And then the dog would look sad and go lay in his bed. My uncle told me that he thinks the dog was looking for me. I think it was selfish of my grandma to keep her dog away from me, knowing how much we made each other happy.
I live with a guy who is the same ,he is pathetically jealous of my relationship with his dog .I gave up I feel for the dog I now have little to do with the dog SAD
I am someone who attracts narcissist. I am aware of this and try to be very careful but am not always successful. I have 2 cats and a dog. I watched my ex-husband strangle my dog,throw it up against a wall, kick my cats and onetime drive it 30 miles away and dropped off in a forest. I prayed for my cat everyday and 6 months later it was at my front door on Christmas Day!! I've been divorced from that husband for 34 years. I love your spiritual spin on this subject. Narcissism is evil!
I am SO SO incredibly sorry you went through that. Pets are so much more than just pets, they are our family members. I pray that your healing journey has been nothing but blessings 🕊 I’m currently on my own healing journey. I was married to a narcissist for almost 2 years and I’m starting to get a shift of perspective: instead of being sad and broken about the things that did happen to me (nowhere near as bad as this but it was still emotionally bad), I’m going to start being thankful and grateful for the things that God saved me from. Hearing all these testimonies break my heart to see how bad things get with the narcissist years down the road. I am so sorry for you and to anyone that had to endure such evil 😭 I have me own experiences with my ex-husband the narcissist but i am grateful for getting out when I did and from the things God saved me from! Blessings sister praying for your peace and joy! 🤍
I am sorry for your horrible experiences. Since you believe that you attract narcissists, please ….please don’t put your pets in a situation where they would live with an abuser. Please be aware and use your intuition. We humans must protect those who can’t protect themselves. God bless you and your pets 🙏🏽
My ex pretty much ignored our pets. Never fed them, made sure they had water, cleaned the litter box, walked our dog, nothing. It used to bother me but they were actually lucky now that I think about it. Our dog has passed but I have the 2 cats. Needless to say they are very happy spoiled kitties.
To cut it short. My dog was the reason why I left the narcissist and I cant even express how greatful I am for it. She saved me from the hell I was going through and set us free. Love dog and cats ❤❤
I know someone who hits their dog out of anger and frustration, but on Facebook he posted, " you can always tell someone's character by the way they treat their dog." I find the guilty party usually stands on a soapbox. Like the b;usdriver who kidnapped girls off his bus, and when missing he 'helped' to find them; meanwhile locked up in in upstairs bedroom. Gruesome story, I know. The good news is that they were finally rescued.....
I think one of the best way to test a person's character is by finding out what their opinion on cats are, and how they treat them. Dogs are obedient so it's easy to get along with them. But cats are kinda like roommates. If someone can't handle living with a cat and gets abusive, let alone at the sight of them, it would likely transpose to their human relationships to some extent. I'm not saying people have to like cats or even not dislike them. But those who actually wish for and would carry out harm on cats have never been ONCE good people in my experience.
Mine threw my cat 🐈 against the wall. The next day he said, “ I thought I told you it’s me or the cat 🐱. I told him that I had heard him and the cat is still here.
My husband, the narcissist, would rage at my cat knowing that it hurt me. Calling him nasty names, screaming and stomping his feet after him. I left last month and my cat and dog have been in a quiet environment along with me. They are healing as well. They are not "jumpy " anymore. They are getting a little better every day. Thank God my husband never put hands on them. God bless you all. Just Jen.
'jumpy' yes, exactly. My cat would sink low and skirt the skirting boards to avoid being near my husband. He physically abusive her whenever I wasn't around to see.
@@MissX33 It's an individual thing, and also narcissism is on a spectrum. Narcissist are abusive people, some worse than others. As for pets, yes SOME narcissists are abusive to pets, I would imagine they particularly dont like cats, as they are independent, whereas dogs are more subordinate and so more likely to be tolerated as they can control them. The narcissistic abuse towards pets can be quite subtle, such as taking in a pet and then giving it away a year or two later or just leaving them home locked in a laundry room for most of the day or in an outside dog run. What Danish is referring to is the narcissists partner's pet and how the narcissist often will pretend to be kind to them in your presence (and I think we are talking more about cats here) and then behind their backs treat them abysmally, such as not feeding them, force feeding them and/or physically abusing them. I have written about my experience my narcissistic husband did with my cat elsewhere in this thread. If you truly have a narcissist in your family, then count yourself lucky if they truly did nothing to your pets behind your back, but please do not paint all narcissists with the same brush as yours, when clearly just reading the comments here and from Danish's own experience, it seems there is a twisted thing going on between many narcissists and pets.
@@jp13119can we have one space at least where someone doesn’t have to bring politics in outta nowhere??? Like GIVE ME A DANG BREAK! Here- how about ALL people in a high position of power likely did NOT get there without doing some shady s**t and most politicians and the elite are likely to have these tendencies. Most if not all. One isn’t better than the other they all suck and don’t care about us. Can we move on now because I’m trying to work through some s**t and heal???
When you went the extra step of saying narcissism isn't a disorder, but a manifestation of evil, that's when I hit the like and subscribe button. Great video.
When you think about it, because of the way we have “clinicized” it, the word “disorder” really just means that something isn’t right with this person. So it’s still right either way.
@@TheCenyon I just really want to address this comment. I am in no way saying everyone with mental issues is evil. I have loved, cared for, and advocated for close friends struggling with issues. There is, however, a large divide between a gentle human being that is having inner turmoil, and someone who presents as a predator with mental illness. I believe this is why some people can be helped, and others cannot. If you are hurting yourself, I have great compassion. If you are hurting others, my compassion ends there and is given to your victims.
I used to date a narcissist. And at the time a had a very small, young dog. He was a teacup poodle that I got for my 19th birthday and he was the most precious, loveable thing. I started dating this guy who came off as so sweet and kind and considerate but, needless to say, he started showing his true colors eventually. When we became engaged, he was treating me badly. I was more blinded then because it was my very first relationship and I knew that relationships could have rough patches, but it should have never been like that. My little dog was my world. He was just like my child and he was my best friend and I felt like we had a deep connection, which was important because I had no friends at the time. He was my only support and this monster of a guy wanted to separate me from that love and support. Ive dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 15, so having that love and support was so important to me. That guy told me that when we got a place together that I wasnt allowed to bring my dog. He tried to call it my mum's dog, but I corrected him and said that it was MY dog. I was raising him, I cared for him, I payed the vet bill, I bought the food so he was mine. This guy said that I couldnt bring him with us, but he wanted to get a bunch of cats, which im allergic to. His thing was that I could take allergy pills for it. It was all about him. His wants were the most important and he couldnt stand that any of my time or affection was going to something or someone else. I couldnt even have time with my friends or family. Finally, one evening he was at my house and he had been having stomach aches for a while. My dog was all happy and trying to be affectionate and he jumped on this guys stomach and this guy swung his arm and knocked my dog on the floor. I was livid. I went straight into "mama wolf" mode and went off on the guy saying "Whats wrong with you?! Dont you know you could have broken his legs?! Hes so little!". The guy didnt like this and said that his stomach hurt. I blantly said that I didnt care and its no excuse to just knock a tiny creature to the floor. The guy was so pissed that I cared more about my dog than I did his stomach. Yeah! That dog was my baby. You hurt my baby and I hurt you! I broke up with that guys soon after and have never talked to him since. He always tried to make himself out to be this wonderful, honorable person, but he wasnt. He used me and abuse me because of my kind heart. I was taught to care for things and be loving. My little dog lived to be a bit over 16 btw. He passed away Feb of last year. Always my little love.
Narcissists are self absorbed individuals, who only cares about themselvs, they are always jelous and envious on others, even your pets and children ‼️🎯JazzyT.
@@finster1968 So am I. Everyday since him and I broke up, I am so glad I didnt marry him. I would have had no life whatsoever and Im sure the abuse would have gotten worse
This is a story I am relieved to hear. I am happy for you that you got out when you did. Also the whole cat thing sounded like he just wanted to make you miserable. I doubt cats were important to him
looking back, this all kind of makes sense. My father would brag about how great his dogs were when he was growing up. But he barely took care of any of our pets. He actually put our first dog down when I was very young without telling anyone because it peed on the bed a couple of times and sometimes would have seizures. That made my mom cry, and I was left wondering why the dog was there one day and gone the next. He said it was for my sake years later because he thought the dog was dangerous. I got a turtle for my 7th birthday that I neither wanted nor asked for. He didn't help take care of it at all and then chastised me for not taking care of it and being ungrateful for having it. We had two dogs after that that he was very minimally involved with, barely trained them, never walked them, never cleaned up after them, was critical of whether or not they needed to go to the vet. His first action in disciplining them was to hit them, anger was always his first resort. It's amazing how we tend to miss these signs, or explain them away for the sake of preserving piece of mind.
You are absolutely right. Before I understood narcissistic abuse, I wondered how my family members could act so cruel to a poor animal that loved them… now I know.
All of my family were like that. When I was a child I got rheumatic fever and was in hospital for weeks. My brother promised me that my animals would be looked after. When I finally went home I found my two pet rats, two rabbits and six mice all either dead or dying 😞 no one had even given them water. I still have nightmares and wake up sobbing now
That's so heartless!! Poor little things. Jesus said, "That which you do unto the least of these (the most innocent), you also do unto me." They will get their just desserts, one way or another.
@@Hawaiiansky11 the Bible also says, that those who destroy the earth will be destroyed, and I take that as all encompassing of God's creation. God commanded Adam to take care of the garden of Eden and the animals, it was God's first instruction to man. People who needlessly harm the earth or any living thing disgust me. Why would anyone want to destroy beauty.
Yes, I am still being stalked and harassed by a narcissist person. He breaks into my home and split my parrots head down the middle and pulled its feathers off the head so I would know he did it. About 2 years later he broke in and poisoned my 12 yr old blind dog. I live by myself and I have no help. I finally stopped going to the police because they never would help. Sad part it that it's my 58 yr old brother.
I’ve ALWAYS stayed away from people who don’t like animals, and have engrained the same into my daughters. I dated 1 guy who “hated cats” (I’ve always had one) and have realized after the cycles of abuse over the years, he was 1000000% a disgusting narcissist!
The woman I am in the process of leaving has been abusive to my dog, that was the last straw tbh. I put up with emotional and physical abuse of my own but no one does that to my baby.
Good decision. I hope that you can see yourself, now, too, as someone who does not deserve that. I hope that you would leave now, because you yourself deserve love and kindness. ❤️
Probably you never seen what and how they are 1 to 1 with pet. My narcissist even said so many times to one of our dog - you are so amazing, I could marry you 🤦♀️ at the same time if she wasn’t listening to him, he could became very rude to her. I never allowed him to abuse pets, always stopped him even from shouting at them. Once she did something wrong, he said let’s slap her.
Pets give them unconditional love and attention. They make excellent sources of supply. I've been in relationships with two narcs. If the pet begins to favor you or even just show you some attention, the narc quickly begins to resent the pet. I've seen it with my own eyes.
@@stainless1175able yes, pets, especially dogs will love their hooman, doesn’t matter who they are, how they feel or look etc. From my experience, they are not able to love them in the same way as pets do. They cannot care about them constantly, for a long time… if cat weed ( from experience, when cat was ill ) on the carpet or scratched him, he blames the cat and becomes angry to cat! Not too long ago he said, he was sitting in the garden and one of dogs pooped in front of him! He walked in and said, she turned her back to me and pooped on the grass! She definitely shoved disrespect to me! 🤦♀️ On the other hand, he constantly speaks how beautiful and clever she is! Sometimes buying treats and then starting arguments, we should buy a cheaper dog food! They will “love” when they can get all they want from you, doesn’t matter, human, pet or thing! Of course there are few types of narcissists, some are worse and some are bit better 🤣 also depends on age, the older they get, the worse they are.
My ex would stop anyone on the street to talk about their dogs. He LOVED all animals. I never thought he could hurt one until he hurt mine because I wouldn’t come back.
The reason I finally got the motivation to leave my mom's house was this. I was at the breaking point and one day i told her that i was going to start looking into moving out and getting my own place. She smiled at me with this evil glint in her eye, but said nothing. I thought to myself, I'm still going to leave, there's nothing you can do to stop me. I then went to bed and woke up to find that she had left the doors open to the room where all her plants were kept, every single one of them being toxic to cats. There are two doors between where the cats live and the plants are kept. She left both doors open. Luckily my cats didn't get into the plants, but they had all day to do so (I worked nights and slept days). I confronted my mom about it and, with the same evil glint in her eye, she said she had been so distraught about me talking about abandoning her that she must have accidentally left the doors open. I got the message. After that, i said nothing more about leaving, but secretly put my plan together, covering all my tracks and playing into her narcissism, being a good little victim, so she didn't get suspicious.
My mother was mean. My mother was mean to a little beagle mix we had. She would scream at her. The dog was not allowed inside. She had a dog house and was chained to it 90% of the time. When my sis went to college I looked after the dog. But Mom did treat one dog okay. That dog stuck to Mom like glue. When the dog died Mom cried. She treated my sister horribly and after my sis left she started on me. She pulled my hair and slapped me. She called me a dummy, and when I got into my teens and as an adult she was verbally mean and physically abusive. She ended up with dementia and died. My dad left her when I was 14 because of her abuse. Thank God I had a Uncle that got me through. She turned me on Dad for a short time as well. But Dad and I were close and it did not last long. She knew it bothered me whenever she was mean to the cat and dog. When Mom passed I was not sad.
I've had suspicions that my dogs were being abused when I was gone at work ⁶and he would be home. One day I came home and my 9 year old female Rottweiler wasn't quite right. She was running into things her legs werent working properly and when I left everything was fine. He did something to my dog that day and she suffers everyday now because of him. I feel so horrible like how did I let this happen to my loved pet? I had a voice recorder and recorded the next day and sure enough I caught him on tape beating my animals and then turn around and act as if nothing was wrong. I'm filled with rage because of this, I can only hope one day he will run into his karma. Monitor your pets closely people. Mine has suffered brain damage from my narc ex! On top of other pain inflicted from him.
🥺 I am so sorry for your dog... Poor innocent soul I was married to a covert narc I had a cat at my Mother's house before I was so sad not having him with me anymore... I was always talking about him, watching videos of cats on youtube The narc would say, you always watch these videos aren't you bored ??? He was annoyed of course because i showed less attention to him.. On day he told me well you should go to your Mother's house and bring buddy here (my cat's name) I was so surprised !!! Couldn't believe it and i shouldn't... Long story short, he showed jealousy and animosity to this poor innocent soul but he managed to manipulate me... We can't believe that there are evil people... One day like you i wasn't there Buddy stayed with the narc And when i came back he was hiding under the couch and stayed there terrified.... This was the Last time my ex saw him Well i tought so... I brought him back to my Mother's house Months late, he suddenly disapeared... My ex would say well you know buddy is very vocal(this cat loved to "talk" with me) Maybe one your Brothers chased him.... I believed it for one time but i had this feeling... Plus one day he told me You know buddy is the type of cat that if you kicked him he would never ever come back Right ? This !!!!! I knew it was him who did it !!! But i had no proofs.... Anyways God SAW it all and i Pray for Justice for Buddy🤲❤️❤️❤️ I am so sad i Couldn't Protect him🥺😔
@Mercy Rahma exactly how I felt and still feel today. Our pets don't deserve this and I would have stepped in between if I were there. I can't even imagine what he did to my dog, especially since she is a large dog. It tears me apart to hear things like this. They won't get away with this abuse forever! I hope everyone that reads this that is in a narcasistic relationship takes their pets seriously and does something for their sake before it's to late like in my case...
@@erinw1524 there should be more videos about how Narcs treat pets Knowledge is Power and it can save Lives ! I am wondering my friend how he could hurt your dog since it's a large one ? Dogs are so loyal and innocent She must have tought the narc was "nice" like you did and she didn't see it coming... 🥺 They are such cowards !!! They only hurt women and animals A real man go for a man like him ! Did you report the abuse of your dog to the Police ? Since you had records You are very smart by the way for thinking about this ! I wish you all the Best, may you live a peaceful life with your Sweet dog 💖 I have 2 cats now, single and happy ! 🥰
@@KatErina-ii6ru I told police, the psychopath narcissist was believed over me 7x. They wouldn't ask my child as he was under 10yrs when we finally got out. Sue? I can't even get court mandated child support out of him 🤪 suing is just throwing more money at a bad investment.
If a narcissist has a dog it is likely about how good the dog makes them look. Perfect breed, perfect training, even perfect communication, love and adoration. This can even work out well, as long as nothing breaks the spell. - from a recovering narcissist with a GREAT dog.
Yup exactly, my ex liked the attention our dogs brought him because I spent a lot of time training them and they were quite cute. He acted like they were his achievement. I never liked leaving the dogs alone with him as I knew he’d neglect them. When we split my first thought was “No matter what the dogs come with me”. Luckily he didn’t care at all and instead was relieved. One less thing to distract him from himself.😮
@@sleepingdogslie It's really sad how much a narcissist misses of the world, like having a carton of ice cream and only licking the drops of condensed water off the pretty picture on the outside. I am dog dependent, not that I couldn't live without one, but having a sincere companion enriches my life in so many ways. And I guess that reveals I've suffered through a number of insincere non-canine companions, too.
When i started this video, i wasn't sure i wanted to finish it.. People like me, now, we can understand those pathetic, sad, blood suckers! and we can leave, but poor animals cannot... They don't deserve it... Your cat is beautiful! 🤩
Listen idk what you believe but these narcissistic assholes WON'T get away for their mistreatment of all God's creatures including you! God created you and will hold EVERYONE accountable for themselves.
He had his pets to show off that how animal lover he was but as days passed I realized through his rough behavior with even those soundless creatures same as he used to treat me when I disobeyed him . They were simply punching bags for that cruel , heartless man. Thank you.
A narcissist is someone who is obsessed with themselves . If someone is abusing an animal, that’s not narcissism, that’s violent psychopathy. Get away from them immediately, but be careful leaving.
He knew I loved animals and took great delight in telling me cruel stories about animals so he could see me upset and then punish me for being upset . He never touched my dogs or guinea pigs,he was never alone with them and we didnt live together. My dogs however would go berserk when he entered the house-they knew what a monster he was before I did .
@@marciathomas1625 my dogs mean the world to me,they were trying to tell me he was bad ,I so wish Id listened to them. I truly hope your dog wasnt hurt by this evil man x
My dog never bit a single soul but for one man, who was the favourite buddy of the narcissist I lived with. I knew I didn't like the guy, so when I heard my dog had bitten him I wasn't that surprised. It was only later that I learned quite how bad that man really was.
My eldest brother stabbed my beautiful white cat in the stomach and my mother didn't have the money to pay the vet for surgery and put the cat down. I saw him have my younger brother hold the cat while he stabbed him It was extremely traumatic to me. I was 10 years old at the time. I'm 61 now. I never got over it. I still feel aweful when I think about it. He and one of his friends took one of our other cats who had kittens and put her and her kittens in a sack then thew them in the river. How could anyone be so cruel, I will never understand. I hope to see these kittys when I get to the other side. It still is traumatic for me to think about it. It was like a living nightmare. I have kittys now and give them lots of love and take good care of them.
This is the most painful topic for me. And I wish someone would have heard me talking about this.. it has been the worst experiences of my life. I would love to be able to explain all the different scenarios in which this has literally kept me a hostage in the most dangerous relationship I’ve ever been in. No one understands, I’m repeatedly told to “ dump” my pets in order to escape. They have no concept That my pets are the only family I have as a rescuer I gave them a promise to care for them forever. I have to hide with them, to which everyone states is a problem! Of course it is! But often we are not given any other options we can live with . My animals , family, have been with me throughout m cancer battle and are absolutely the reason I am still alive.
Hey I see you posted this 3 months ago but I'm wondering if you're still in this dangerous relationship, and if you have access to any resources that could help you escape? ❤
Thank you for keeping your commitment to those loyal, sentient beings whom you have rescued and who have rescued you. Animals are not disposable. I hope you have found a domestic violence shelter or other means to safely, permanently escape with your pets.
I was with my ex for two years. We spent all our time at his home, and he often asked me to bring my cat from my own home, to stay at his house, permanently as though we were gonna live together. Intuitively I knew not to take her there. If she had as much as scratched his furniture I knew he'd hurt her.
Your right brother, my narcissistic wife put our dog down when I went away for a few days, I was the one who fed, exercised and looked after our dog for six years.
My ex was a covert narcissist, something Danish touched on in this video was that a narcissist can’t have a normal relationship with their pets. In my case she had a pair of black cats that she brought into the relationship, which I was fine with. What I noticed was she often spoke SO highly of these cats, the smarter one of the two she called her “familiar” and meant it. Like their relationship was so profound that I wouldn’t even understand. Now after watching most of Danish’s videos what she was really doing was saying to me “you can never be as close to me as this cat, you can never understand me like the cat” etc. So rather than being abusive she was using this cat to essentially belittle me in a covert way.
Triangulation... my ex did it to me, he was going to leave me and did much compliments to his cat, while he was talking to me for leaving me, he said "how much he loved that creature, that was his only love" ... after a few months the cat passed away, misteriously... maybe it was an obstacle for his way to live, indeed he was a "digital nomade" he loved travelling everytime he could.
It's demonic and this is absolutely true. My now exhusband abused my dog and I didn't know what was happening as he did it secretly. I moved out while he was at work and my dog is so happy and alive. To anyone who is dealing with a narcissist, GET OUT.
Pets are disposable to them ....... Or they may serve a purpose to get narc supply. Sometimes it's to keep up appearances .... How people treat animals is always a good indicator
They go after what you love the most!! My dog knew from day one he was here to protect me and hasn’t let me down since. I will do everything i can to keep him safe as well. Do not let your pets out of your sight!! I take my dog to a safe home while working. Since I found him choking him. Protect your pets!! They don’t deserve it.❤
I remember when our Golden Retriever was sick with cancer and my narc husband went to the vet with me and the veterinarian had to ask him to leave the room because the dog was to nervous and was shaking. He was fine after that when it was just me and the veterinarian. We had another dog that would randomly walk up to him and growl. That was really creepy. The week before I left him for good he threw my 15lb Maltese out of my car resulting in him getting 8 stitches. I was with him for 34 years. When I left and took my dog I saw my dog relax after awhile the same way I did. It took a long time but I’m a happier person and he’s now 6 years old and so much happier. ❤️❤️
I’m so happy to hear that someone, having stayed together that long, was able to gain there independence, freedom, happiness and space to breath freely after that many years. I am literally trapped and can’t find resources for my age group.
I had a narcissistic sociopath bf when I was young. I left him at my place alone one day and when I came home, my cat was shaking under the table sitting in his own urine. I ended it right there but because he was insane he stalked me for a year after, smashed the windows put of my apartment building and I literally had to put him in jail and move. Stay safe out there folks, he would have killed me.
We need to bring our pets or introduce out pets to potential partners starting at Date One - and trust your pets. My daughter got a dog that was rescued from a bad situation, from my father (narc mother's enabler) a couple of years ago. I was dating this guy who I'd been trying to get rid of for a while. As soon as the dog met him, she crawled into either my or my daughter's lap and barked at him. She didn't bark at my father, or at my daughter's boyfriend, only the guy in my life. Then the jerk tried to take over our training of her, and do this 'dominate' type of training. That's when I said, "Done." I kicked him out very soon after that, recognizing that the dog wasn't mad at him, it was scared of him. That tells me that he was consumed by dark energy that animals all recognize. Good riddance!! The dog is doing well and is very well loved.
This fits quite well with my narcissist father. My parents decided later in life to show dogs. It is not the ultimate situation for any dog to be trained for showing. But this dog finally had enough of it and became very aggressive. To the point, my parents had to put him down after he went for my brother's throat. The dog had no boundaries and no consistent affirmation or affection. Again, how sad.
When I was married to my ex husband, I had a little 3 lb chihuahua. Every time he would go into a narc rage, she would get physically sick. Her little tummy would rumble, & she would throw up foamy bile. After we left, she never had another episode. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he abused her behind my back. He was, & probably still is, a monster.
@@Parrotgirl-tattoo😞I'm sorry you two had to go through that, I really sympathize bc while I was growing up my "egg donor" was so jealous of my connection with animals that she'd kill my pets and then make me believe that it was my fault. I stopped having them bc of it (even though I've always been obsessed with critters) and became clinically depressed. After I left home, I worked/ ran Dude Ranches and eventually started my own Animal Rescue Farm (ARF🐕) 👍😻👍 After I found out the truth about her, I went NC and now I teach OP all about animals... specializing in (teaching OP in) training Service Dogs and Therapy Animals (if they flunk SD training) for people with disabilities. It toadally🐸 INFURIATES her 😹🤣😹 I'm really glad that you managed to escape too! 👏😺👍
I'm so sorry you had to go through such pain with Narsistic parents. The poor people and animals these evil people prey on makes me sad. Your cat is absolutely beautiful ♥️
I need to tell this story I really do. I was visiting a friend with a large family all children under the age of twelve. They had the cutest pup around the age of one year. It was a very hot day the dog was chained it had managed to knock over his water bowl. Upon seeing all of us he got so excited partiality because of company and hoping for water. He kept jumping around and whining my friends husband kept yelling at him to shut up. I blame myself for the following. I love dogs always have and I pointed out he had no water. I asked one of the children to fill his bowl. The husband was visibly angry and walked away. I thought it was because the children had neglected the dog and not taken care of his basic needs. I was wrong. A few minutes later dad appeared with a gun in his hand. The dog was enjoying the cold water when the dad aimed his gun at the dog. I started begging him not to shoot to just let me have the dog. He considered it for a minute then point blank shot that poor dog. Then he yelled at the kid now bury it. They had a beautiful blond haired girl I was very fond of around the age of eight. I noticed none of the children were crying. She looked up to me with her big blue eyes and said....he always kills our dogs best not to get attached. I got in my car drove away and never went back.
Did you go find someone and and report it? SPCA Murder a pet is a crime as well as animal abuse. Also more importantly is to get those children from that evil demon. Obviously the mother is too far into it.
You are absolutely correct in your analysis. I had my little Yorkie for 14 years before I met by ex- boyfriend aka the narcissist. He asked me to move in with him and the day before I moved… he said I couldn’t bring my dog. Needless to say, I didn’t moved with him. I had already gave my 30 day notice to my landlord so pretty much I was left with no place to go.. I had to run around like a crazy person all over town to find a place I didn’t even liked but moved there so I could keep my dog. Fast forward 2 years after, I was still in a relationship with the narcissist when my dog passed away. I called off work the next day and was emotionally devastated.. He told me I was overreacting, that it was just a dog!! I was so sad about loosing my baby I couldn’t even get angry.. but in that moment I realized he had no heart.
My narc sister went out of her way to buy a cute little dog. She researched for weeks and finally met up with the seller and got the dog. She was telling everyone about it. She purchased a bed, lots of wee wee pads, toys and even scheduled to take pictures with the dog and Santa and place the photo on the wall at her place. She didn’t have ANY patience with potty training the little pup. She couldn’t tolerate the mess when she got home and then tried to guilt trip other people into taking care of the dog when she went to work. I wanted no parts because I just brought a newborn home and didn’t want to have to think about a puppy to mind as well. This of course got her upset because who in the world tells her no right??!?! She then started to neglect the dog and instead of leaving the dog in the house while she was at work, she left him in the cold dark garage. And I mean COLD. He got matted and dirty and she stopped talking sweet to him. Then a blizzard came and you know what she did?? She took him to the groomers and shaved all his fur down to his bare skin because it was so matted and dirty. The groomer had no choice but to do that. And instead of bringing the dog in house where it is warm…she put him back in the cold dark garage again. When asked why doesn’t she bring him in, she responds with “I can’t be bothered.”😒 Next morning she goes in the garage and finds him frozen to death. And you know what she started to do??? Cry. She started to cry and tell everyone about how hurt she is. I can’t tell you how much she disgusts me. She continued to cry for weeks looking for sympathy from everyone. She is seriously a special case.
@@gctechhubcstutorials7856right?! She is worse than her sister. She had the power to help the animal and chose to be passive. Because she seen it as helping her sister not the animal. Pathetic. She is just as vile
@@gctechhubcstutorials7856 That was ridiculous! How do you know she abused him? And how could she take a pet away from someone for buying a bed and pads or taking pics? Evil people love dogs and cats. They don't often abuse their animals, because narcs target humans. In fact Nazis and other horrific persons adored their pets and 'nature'. It is a creature who seems to worship them.
You make no sense. Did you ignore this all along or did you discover it after the dog died? If you knew about it while it was happening you are just as guilty for your inaction.
@@kimberlee2809 He may have been a child or not understood the possible consequences or have been victimised so thoroughly that he was afraid to intervene.
Very true message brother Danish....I'm married 2nd time to a narcissist...my eldest brother's (also 2nd marriage) wife...a witch gave me a drink to drink, which towards the end was stinking dirty...my mother died mysteriously.....a very good proposal had come for me but these jealous witches (my 2nd brother's wife too) just put him off...i blindly started going after this man....he and his sister started torturing me ...my son was born....everytime he put me out of the house....i was totally fedup...i left never to return ...2 yrs i wasnt here but a year back i came back....because my sis in law sent a demon spirit after my son....me and my son have gone thru so much but God was always with us....the eldest brother's wife killed my cats....i was taking care of them...one surviving kitten i brought her here...he hit her and me and my son left her at my mother's place....after a few months i got news that she's no more...i went into depression....I'm praying to God to totally deliver me and my son from this man.... BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL...AND HE WILL MAKE A WAY I TRUST AND I BELIEVE Thanks brother Danish for all your informative videos and a big God bless to you and Bella....
I’m in tears watching this remembering the treatment of the dog we had as a child. Neglect and literal physical abuse. No one, not the children, not the spouse, not even the dog was exempt from the abuse of the monster that gave birth to me. I don’t believe in souls in the religious/supernatural sense, but I have never heard anything more accurate than that narcissists have no souls.
I understand! I was 3 when my narc mother moved in with my stepdad who had a dog. There are old home movies showing the dog as part of the family but he ended up chained to a box, neglected and beaten when he escaped. She turned him against his dog and later his own children (my step siblings). I feel so much guilt about that poor, sweet dog that it makes me sick to my stomach.
@@SuzyQpip 🤗😭It's not your fault!! You were a victim too. I feel the same... I just feel SO angry hearing about animal cruelty because I witnessed similar things as a child. Idk how to heal but hoping somebody here does. 💙 Much love
similar story here, my parents got birds when i was 7 or 6 and they just left all the responsibility on us, the birds had just a small cage, and it was a really bad environment for them. i wish they were mature enough to learn how to actually take care of them and give them a better place to call home, instead of leaving it to their uneducated children.
Hard for me to relate to this one 😮. Mine came home every day , played with the dog, petted it, fed it gave it 1000 times more affection and attention that I ever received from him! He also let the cat sleep with him when he would sleep and the couch and not even come to bed😢. He tried to make us jealous of the animals not the other way around but I never was because I loved the animals.
Narcissists can absolutely turn people, kids, pets against you, purposely to hurt you. There are a few different subtypes of narcissism and the traits they exhibit vary for each individual. However, as a whole, they ALL have huge similarities.
How little he had to do to maintain a relationship with a dog than with a human, and yet get so much unbridled adoration in return. Not to mention how the innocent animal could be used as a tool to make you feel bad, and, potentially, compete with it for scraps of the narcissist's attention.
My narcissist mother literally put our dog down "Mr. Boobie" because I finally was financially able to leave her but the housing units didn't accept pets. I'm super sick so it took a long time for me to get the financial help from my government before I could. Anyway, it scared me further. And I've been horrifically abused by my family and guess what it didn't turn me into an abuser of the most vulnerable creatures in on this planet... oh this world is a mess.
Good for you 👏😻👍 My egg donor was so jealous of my connection with my pets that she'd kill them & convince me that it was my fault... so I stopped having them & became clinically depressed 😿 It toadally🐸 INFURIATES her that I went NC & now spend my life teaching OP all about animals and specialize in (teaching OP in) training Service Dogs & Therapy Animals (if they flunk SD training) for people with disabilities 😹🤣😹
I used to be friends with a narcissist. And she always said how she hated cats "cause they don't love you unconditionally" "and don't let you pet them whenever you want to pet them" I love dogs but unfortunately they fall victim to lots of narcissists. When people say they hate cats for those reasons, that's a huge red flag. Hating an animal because they use consent and need to gain your trust is not a reason to even dislike an animal.
Oh... I was here because I was wondering if my so called 'friends' are narc. But realizing they do have dogs and they really seem to love them back so it made me feel confused again whether they are one or not. But now that you mention it, since I owned cats, I remember them commenting what you did say and I have to agree with it.
The best way to get rid of a narcissist is don’t let them have you or have their way with you. Reject narcissists Neglect narcissists Ignore narcissists Cancel plans Avoid narcissists Be disinterested in them Be angry with them & push them away Don’t let them control you Stop serving them
Everything you said is true, and I have experienced this myself. Although these things happened long ago, I still carry the emotional trauma and the resentment. I wish I could tell you about my experiences, but I just don't want to make it public.
I never realized the correlation between infants and pets, but I now can CLEARLY see how my NPD ex treated our new baby, his jealousy and the way he was always trying to separate me from the infant that I was breastfeeding. He did a lot of damage that I was blind to until this very moment. I have to agree that the word "EVIL" is closer to what these hard core NPD people truly seem to be. A disorder can often be worked with and rectified for the good of all involved. I don't think I have ever seen the upper NPD people come down off their pedestals for more than a few minutes, then it's right back to abuse, drama and outright lies.
I understand your conflict well. When I think back to the time I began dating my husband (35 yrs ago), he showed so many signs of narcissism. But I had no idea what it was back then. I tolerated his odd behaviors because I 'loved' him. The first time that I realized how nasty and bizarre his behaviors were, was when we had our daughter. For the first 6 months of her life, he pouted, stomped around and complained about how she and I were getting so much attention from family/friends, and he was ignored. I specifically remember him telling my family that he was being treated like he had no part in creating this baby and felt like an ATM machine, etc. While I understood that it was a huge change in our lives and some of his concerns were valid, I couldn't get over how dramatic he was being about it all. Jealous, over a baby? YOUR baby?! Really?! He was behaving like a toddler who couldn't control his emotions and would literally have tantrums. I felt like I was Mommy to 2 children. It was embarrassing. For a time it got a little better, but he would end up going in and out of these fits throughout our marriage (did it with our 2nd child, pets, etc.) and ended up becoming distant and unfaithful. He often sought out the attention and company of co-workers (mostly female) for supply/validation. It's what he always needed and craved (and always will), in order to function normally and be 'happy' (ie. Regulated). It took me 36 years and a final discard by him to realize this and take the hint. 😢 I have always truly loved him and am devastated that our marriage didn't last, but I understand now that it just wasn't meant to be, and we need to go our seperate ways. I refuse to be in someone's life that doesn't want me there. I'm worth way more than that. It hurts, but it's ok. We will be alright. All the best to you and everyone else going through this.
Both my parents were narcissists as well and I clearly remember being shocked at times with their behavior toward cats and then trying to rationalize it. They bought a beautiful golden retriever puppy in their older years (their first and last dog) kept him for about 3 or 4 years, never trained him, rarely interacted with him, kept him in a cage in another part of the house most of the time and finally got rid of him because they couldn't deal with him. My mother explained that once they had retired he didn't fit their lifestyle anymore. It makes me understand even more clearly their treatment of me. Thank you for this video.
I knew my step moms best friend who is married to this guy and she bought this guy a cat and when he didn't do what she wanted she eithier dropped the cat off in a forest. Give to other people as gifts. Or eventually when she got tired and got bored of the cat she sold to pet shelters or pet stores
Thank you for exploring this topic Danish. My narc mother had a cat whom she adored. She went out of her way to lavish it with love and affection, and I know she would do it purposely to spite me. She would say to the cat numerous times a day I love you, while just ignoring me. She could never bring herself to say it to me. She knew it bothered me that she never told me she loved me, but she would go out of her way to say it to her cat. This was one of her many childish tactics to minimize me.
Thank you for this video. My narcissistic mother waited until I was on vacation with my father to take my cat to a kill shelter, and then bragged about doing it. I was too afraid to go with my father on a vacation after that.
I know someone who bought a huge high maintenance dog as a surprise gift for his girlfriend days after moving in together. He made her do EVERYTHING related to the dog from feeding, walking , vet appointments/emergencies. In front of people he acted like a dog person. In private, he ignored the dog. It was obvious that the dog was bought to tie her down and keep her busy/controlling her and making her less available to other people. She left a year later and the dog is being cared for now by someone else.
The same thing is happening to me now. But my dog will come with me. I'm scared to leave her alone without me now. Last time we broke up he took the dog out all day and didn't tell me where she was.
That's a classic narc behavior they know we like animals so instead of buying low maintenance animals they buy us the most complicated high maintenance animals they could get their hands on
Your analysis on pets is so truthful - I have witnessed regular abuse of a pet by its owner who is a narcissistic bastard - plus my own dog doesn’t like him he senses his evil treatment of everyone
I didn’t realize that my narc ex was jealous of my parakeet. He was “taking care” of him for me when I was traveling and the bird mysteriously died the first day of my trip. My son was devastated. The narc later bragged to others how the parakeet was basically telling me “F you” which was HIS projection and that I was better off without the annoying bird. It felt disgusting to hear. Needless to say, this was the beginning of the end of our relationship.
I had cancer and got a radical mastectomy, I wanted to remain like that but was brainwashed and guilt tripped to surgical reconstruction. When I was recovering at the hospital it was an inferno at my house and when I came back, my 19 years old cat was left locked in the balcony in early spring with really low temperature and my dog was put to sleep. I left with my kids two months later to live overseas; 4 years have passed and I still suffer for those traumatic events. Many other things happened that time but the stoty is too long for a comment. Blessings to all who suffer in the hands of these Jezabel spirit possessed people, may the merciful Father deliver you.
Each of our 2 cats died shortly after bonding with my father and my mother becoming jealous of the affection that they got from him and NEVER wanted to go to her. I suddenly understand why so many disappeared out of nowhere. It is a lot to deal with, especially after you discover that you have been autistic all along too. Thank you for sharing.
When my mother died, her cats were left with my father. They were overfed, the litter box was outside in the rain and if one pooped or peed inside he got angry! When they were sick I had to make sure they got the medicine because he pretended he couldn't. He chased a cat away, another was found dead outside and I took one cat with me because he was badly neglected and was locked up upstairs without food and drink while he was deathly ill. My father was away for the weekend. I confronted him about that when he got back and his response was; just let him put asleep. I don't want to be restricted in my freedom by a rotten cat…With the cat under my arm I went and never contacted him again. My father's cruelty was the last straw for me. I lovingly cared for and kept his cat and I never have to see my father again!!! 😢 I love cats, i have 3…. So,… a big hug for your Ben and a big thank you Danish for al your support.
There's more to the story... if my wife died and left me her 3 cats and their litter box to care for?.. depends on the wife... mine? That's a no... hell no. Cats have many lives... I have only one.
@@ruscle619yes, there’s more to the story, much more!! To much to tell….He was always very selfish an treated my mother like shit, but they got the cats together (he wanted them himself at the time!!) and if he didn't want them anymore after she died he could have tried to find them a good new home!! But heartless as he is, he doesn't care. (If my husband died and that cat was something we bought together I would cherish the animal even more! ) That a cat has many lives is not true! A cat also only has one and that life is just as precious as that of a human being!!! He never cared for his wife the way he should, he never cared for his kids the way he should the only thing he ever cared for was himself.
My friend,who I think may be a narcissist, has a habit of collecting animals, currently she has 4, and off loading them onto other people to look after them. I’m not sure why she does this, but I find it weird. And she always gets very difficult pets to look after, like Italian greyhounds that are very delicate and highly strung.
Thank you for talking about how cruel a narcissist can be to pets because they are jealous people. They go out of their way to talk down about you and your pet that is apparently in the way of them obtaining the attention they desire. Without even knowing about how narcissists act, I conclude and believe for sure my friend of 49 years was terribly jealous of my pets because he was not getting the attention he wanted from me. No contact has been in effect for almost a year and I can honestly say I feel great relief.
My N loves our animals. He treats our dog way better than me! lol. He is a Covert N. He loves that the dog pays attention to him and get dog doesn’t talk back. He loves the unconditional love the dog gives him.
He triangled you with the dog just to get any rise out of you. My ex did the same thing... until I started acting like I did not see either of them. Then soon after he didn't want to be bothered with him. Poor puppy.... I petted him up behind his back... until I left. 😂
You deserve a nobel prize for such a deep understanding of narcissists! Your understanding of narcissism puts the understanding of narcissim of everyone to shame.
No lol, this is not on the level of a psychiatrist/psychologist who specializes in personality disorders and such. Far from it. There's even some stuff that's mixed up with other disorders or is inaccurately portrayed. He's a coach and he's good at coaching you to protect yourself from people with bad intentions, but he's not on a "nobel prize" worth understanding of narcissism.
Thank you Danish. I had often wondered about the relationship of narcissists to pets. I'm middle aged today, but when I was 10 years old, my father came home with a small monkey!!! We had a dog at the time. That monkey became my best friend and doted over me. He made us laugh and loved an audience! he was so smart & a good monkey and loved our Poodle. I started to hear my mother telling my father that it was not healthy for a monkey to love a young girl. It became a sort of harassment of my father to do something. One day I came back from school & he was gone! I was so distressed, but luckily the family who took him were so annoyed that he had ripped all their lemons off their lemon tree & was causing havoc in their garden. When I had walked into our home & he saw me, he jumped for joy and screamed with delight. But my mother was very unhappy and a week later upon my return from school, he was gone again! This time my father said he'd sent him to another town. I never quite believed this and now I am sure that they euthanised him! We had a cat that she would take away from us to our home country and leave her at times for a year in a dark room of her office to be fed once a day by her secretary who obviously was busy with her job & had not been employed to play with cats. The strange thing is that on a return to the country where my dad was working, she had with her a kitten & our cat. So a couple of years later when we returned to our home country for good, she had kept the cats at her office in the dark room because she told us that she had seen them climbing up the beautiful curtains of our beautiful new home. We were surprised as we'd never seen them doing that before. To solve the problem, she went & gave them to a pet shop where we'd sometimes go & visit them (my sister & I were young teenagers by then). One day my dad came home with a puppy that one of his clients had given him. My mother was furious. But this time Dad wasn't giving in to her wishes for him to be returned. He stayed with us for 6 years until he died on a flight as we were leaving our war torn country. We (Dad, my sister & I) cried for days, but my mother didn't even shed a tear. It's like he never existed for her! We have had a lot of cats since, then, but I don't think I ever saw my mother feeding any of them or even stroking them. They always loved my dad & my sister & me. Looking back, it was by some miracle that my sister & I made it through, as we were in mortal danger and I only figured this out years after my mother's death. My father was a smart man, but it was like he was under a deep spell and couldn't see just how much danger we were in (he was the total opposite and was so afraid that we'd catch a chill if we took off our woollen jumpers in 40 degree Centigrade weather or if we slept with the window open we'd die of pneumonia in that kind of heat or if we'd get hurt playing sports, if we were late coming home, he'd panic that we got run over or got in an accident, etc., etc., yet the biggest danger for us was the one sleeping in his bed!!!! Thank you for doing this video. It has helped me realise that I wasn't imagining things!
I'm sorry you had to endure such mental and emotional abuse. It sounds like your father became hypervigilent because he knew something was wrong and dangerous but didn't understand, as you mentioned. I hope his heart and mind saw the truth after your mom's passing.
I was indelibly impressed with how a cat, and a toddler, reacted with anxiety when meeting a narcissist neighbor, who swore to me that animals and kids LOVED her. Now I always rely on cues from others when I think I detect a narcissist. Thank you for your great video. It informed me of potential horrors I wouldn't have anticipated. I think I'll be a new subscriber.
My narcissistic first husband would take our dog out in the garage and beat on her with a newspaper. I would hear her howling in fear and pain, but I felt powerless. He would pause for a few minutes and then start in on her again. I was afraid of him because he had held me down on the bed and spanked me with his wooden hairbrush on multiple occasions if I said something he didn't like. He only stopped doing this after he actually hurt my tail bone and I couldn't sit down without pain for weeks. This was in the early 1970s. There was no 911 to call and domestic violence wasn't talked about. I didn't know about Narcissistic Personality Disorder then. Thank you for speaking out about narcissism so that those of us who endured abuse for years can now understand what was wrong and why we had to get away from our narcissistic abuser. I left my narcissistic husband 30 years ago after being married to him for 22 years. I wish I had known about NPD then so I wouldn't have taken the blame for everything for so many years. I blamed myself for the dog beatings because I was too afraid to intervene.
I've had that experience. I've been told I love my dogs more than I love this person. Knowing his character, I said " I won't deny that statement". My dog was diagnosed with idiopathic epilepsy turned out to be hypoglycemia. We had to visit the vet regularly to manage this. I was told that I was doing too much to keep my boy alive. When my dog crossed the rainbow bridge, people would send me messages of condolences and I was heartbroken when he died, he was 11 years old. I would cry with every message I received, I was told to put my phone away and stop crying. I can go on and on about all my experiences. My heart goes out to all those dealing with these experiences. You don't easily see what's going on.
This made me cry and very tense as I have lived this and still grieve. Thank you for the validation, I love all fur babies & the owners that endure this.
You are so spot on! Someone gave my narc mother a cat that had been so abused previously that it never grew any bigger than a tiny kitten. My NM wanted it to sit next to her on the couch but it was scared, she mashed its little body down onto the couch and literally yelled “stop being afraid!”
Although my husband was diagnosed as a covert narcissist, he loves animals. He's good to them. Loves them. And they love him too. It's almost like he knows he doesn't have to keep up the facade with a pet. Also, he loves pointing out when the pets like him better than anyone else (I suppose that might be a narc trait, idk) But yes. Thankfully, not all narcs abuse animals.
I LOVE cats!! Anyone who loves cats is OKAY with me. They are caring, kind and loving people. Dr. Ramani sometimes has her cat sitting on her lap too. We had a cat just like hers.
It's not always 100% the case, and i've seen people who seem to like cats and own one, but turn out to not like them that much, not treat them that well, and see them as a commodity, a pricy decoration if you will. They aren't very well adjusted. It's a potential red flag if they only go for the most expensive breed, bought from a breeder, instead of saving a cat from the street who will not only be a beautiful and absolute sweetheart 99% of the time, but also be a lot tougher and live a lot longer rather than die 5 years old of a purposedly engineered genetical defect. But otherwise if they are legitimately loving with their cat regardless of breed, they are usually good people.
@@icansaveher I'm so sorry!! I mean I love cats and anyone who loves them is a good person in my books!! NOT a narcissist. I was just commenting that they both must love cats. Of course NEITHER one of these people are narcissists. I'm sorry. Sometimes I reply before rereading what I wrote.
11:10-11-19... Agree 💯% 👌 This is why I follow you and Dr. Ramani because you both get it, you fully understand and educate on the root of narcissistic nature. Thank you 🙏
Finally someone addressed this important phenomenon. My ex would regularly complain about how my cat is giving him allergies, and he would grab her and throw her to the wall because it bit him. All cats occasionally bite you gently on your wrist when you pet them, it's a sign of affection. Either way, it's an instinct they have, they certainly have no control over it. My ex boyfriend would on multiple occasions beat her hard on her back, "in order to teach her that she must show him respect". The narcissists are constantly in a "are you disrespecting me??" mode, and it's crazy how this, at the basis, inferiority complex also applies to poor innocent animals. Then a couple of years later, he got a cat. And then he became obsessed with him. He bought him expensive gifts while forgetting to get me something for Valentine's. He posted a ton of pictures with him on his social media. And he yelled at me for "disrespecting his cat" when I would accidentally do something "wrong" like forgetting to close window shades so that the cat doesn't potentially get bothered by pigeons that sometimes come to the window (the window was closed 24/7, but my ex didn't want his cat to even see the pigeons). His whole house smelled of cat food and cat litter by the time I left the relationship...
When my parents divorced, l learned of the different "masks" that narcissists wear. My dad was verbally abusive and would often ridicule anything he considered silly or simple minded. He picked a new lady target who had a dog. She was a bit "off" and juvenile herself. Obviously, someone my father thought he could manipulate. She would baby talk her dog, which is usually normal, but it was excessive to the point of being odd. She would read birthday cards aloud to him as if the dog could understand like a child. We also had a family dog, but we never took it to such an excessive level. To my surprise, my dad started behaving the same bizarre way he would've eye rolled about in the past. I was absolutely flabbergasted and perplexed. Now I understand that it was just an act. I was witnessing a narcissist in action mirroring his victim during the love bombing phase to reel in his target. Everything makes sense now.
Huh... interesting.... is this where narcs get the idea to copy everything they can about someone, even trying to steal or emulate someone else entirely? My mom and all my narc sisters have done this to me, they'll steal ideas, things I say, learn to mirror my personality and looks, it's truly creepy. In this case it's my theory that they don't have much good on their own cuz they're like empty shells, so they find people that others like or admire to mirror them to find their act in order to deceive others that they're likable like that. But you just enlightened me further. Gosh I would want to alert that woman to RUN. It could very well be that she treats animals more like people because she had an abusive past to where she turned to animals for relationship and comfort to fill the void. And as we all know the likeliest target of a narc is someone who has trauma already. I would warn her if I were you.
Thank you for your recognition of the sentience of animals. It is too rare a belief. I don't consider animals to be pets. I never owned my cats. We shared our lives with each other.
It took 14 years of interaction/friendship with a narcissist to finally break free. It's been more than 5 years and I'm still trying to heal. Thank you so much for your insight and good advice.
So true! The Narcisist wanted to have contole over the dog. Picking her up and throwing her on the floor. Only because she barked. She was 6 months old then. When I left the narc, I took my dog and my personal stuff with me. He told everyone I stole the dog. Outside the perfect dogwalker but inside awfull. The dog, a labradoodle, felt the stress that was in the house. She damaged her pillow several times. When I left the house and the narc, she NEVER damaged anything ever. She is 5 years old now. And a happy dog🙏 a clown entertaining us every day!!!
My dog would Hide when my narcissistic husband would come home. I would ask him what was Going on he would deny . I hide cameras Caught him beating my dog . For absolutely no reason the dog was laying in his own bed , It’s was very upsetting
I had a mother and son cat pair. I’d had them about 14 years when I got married. I married a narcissist. She hated the cats, and showed absolutely no affection or desire to form a bond with them. Cats would walk on the counter tops. She demanded I put an end to this. I explained I had tried. Cats often times don’t follow their humans rules. So I had to spray them with water whenever they did this, which didn’t have any effect on the situation, as I knew it wouldn’t. She actually started demanding I give them to the pound. I loved these cats, and was upset my new wife would demand such a thing, knowing full well I was not willing, under circumstances, to get rid of these two cats, which I loved very much. Much to my dismay, I had two children with her, and had to watch treat our children in a similar manner, mainly in regards to neglect. The kids were always left with the grandmother, or myself. But hey, whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I filed for divorce when the kids were just one and six months of age. So sad.
@@KatErina-ii6ru to make matters worse, my 22 year old daughter lives with her, and has a cat. The cat walks on the counter tops, and she doesn’t complain about it at all. 🤷🏼♂️
@@camellia8625 no, both children live with their mother. They have always complained about her, but she had the house, 60% custody and cousin for the kids. I had expectations (chores, be enrolled on athletic teams, and go hiking with me on weekends), whereas moms had they could do anything they wanted. No chores, no rules, not even a bedtime on week nights. So, of course, they favored their moms house. Mom had her mother living there to do all household chores. Mom just watched TV and went out on dates. It is what it is
I've never heard anyone else address this issue. My experiences with pets and a narcissist in my life were horrendous. So much so, that it was pushed away somewhere in my brain, and I suddenly remembered one day. Thank goodness I was seeing a therapist at the time. This evil man knew I loved animals and chose to hurt and kill them to hurt me. By the way, he died a slow and painful death at a young age.
My situation with my Narc was odd and I think it was because of my father. He loved animals dearly, and it was a part of my mother’s act to pretend she loved them, too. But the only animals she liked were as you said, the ones who clung to her. But there were moments that I hated her for how she treated some of our pets. My 12 year old cat got thrown outside to never be let in again when I left for college. The reason was because she was shedding 🙄. I saw the cat at Thanksgiving that year but she had disappeared by Xmas break a month later. She either died of loneliness or a predator got her. I will always bear a hate for my mother for doing that to her. Another time, I had found a Boston terrier running along the street, which such an animal is very expensive and I imagined someone would want it back. It was a really high-stress dog at first but started to chill out. Meanwhile I had an ad in the paper advising I’d found the dog. I came home two days later to find she had loaded up the dog and dumped it on the opposite side of town. Once my father died, she got to being more active in preventing us from taking in pets, and I think the absolute worst thing she did to animals was when a Manx cat showed up at our house pregnant. My brother and I wanted to bring her in so we could tame her kittens and give them away. NO. We had to make a place for her outside in a shed. And then the cat disappeared, likely taken by a fox, and then her kittens began disappearing, but still we couldn’t bring them in. The last kitten we found shivering in a tree and that’s when I put my foot down and brought him indoors. And between me and my brother, we kept him indoors for 17 awesome years. I think what I hated most about my Narc mom was the way she picked and chose which animals she would tolerate and to hell with the ones she didn’t. 😢
When we were growing up, we kids were not allowed pets, so it surprised me that my mother got an Alaskan husky, actually brought to her by her live in boyfriend. She was gushing about her affection for the dog, even let her have a litter. A couple years later, she callously had the pet put down, saying it was too much trouble to care for her.
When I was a young child through my teen years my dad would beat literally punch and kick any and every dog we had if they had an accident in the house. They were puppies and just needed training. The sounds of their cries I can still remember. He told me that's what you had to do in order for them to learn. But what I observed is that those animals never respected him. They feared him and would keep their heads low everytime he would come around. That's exactly how he treated my mom and I. My mom and I reacted the same way the animals did.
My ex abandoned me, our daughter and our pet cat, Egypt and quietly left us without any explanation from CA for NY. He had no bond with us, and discarded us. This was such cold hearted cruelty and cowardly.
You don't know how much I appreciate you, Danish Bashir! I watch and read other narcissistic abuse videos, shorts, and their posts, but yours is the best. I had to have my sweet little dog put down the day after I got out of the hospital, because spouse refused to give him his meds for the week I was in the hospital. He had congestive heart failure and he NEEDED his meds. He was barely able to walk when I came home. I have NEVER hated anyone so much and I am trapped in this living hell with this demon.
We are not trapped. I'm where I am and you are where you are. But here we are connected. ❤️🩹💌 Just don't take it personally. It's hard to say, and do but it's how I'm healing. 💓
I am so very sorry to know your sweet dog passed away, because of your husband's neglect. God Bless his heart. Why are you still there? Get out of there. You deserve so much better than being with a demonic narc.
You are strong enough to get away. You just have to do some research and find an organisation to help you. I'm sending you a lot of sympathy and love. I hope you get away.
You need to leave. What is physically stopping you from starting an out plan? It's a sincere question. I was 'physically' trapped for the last 18 months with my demon. He shattered two vertebrae in my neck (my child and I were trying to leave him), then kept me on a mattress, drugged up for 12 months while the injury healed itself, my child was 8. It still took another 6 months after that to be able to fully construct and implement a plan .. always have a plan with small steps to work on secretly.
In my experience with a narcissist, I noticed something different. No violence, no abuse, but very scary care. Kind of like a little girl playing with dolls. She puts dogs to sleep like babies and feeds them like people. I quickly ended this relationship, but not only because of this. Other much worse things happened.
Chameleon behaviour. He was acting because he holds no soul, so he thought that's how you wanted him to be. Over the top play acting. I'm glad you got out and your sanity retuned.
Such a great subject! My ex nac was very jealous of my cat ( I had my own place but spent most of my time over at her place ( thank god I never moved in with her like she wanted me to! ) Anyway, she really wanted me to get a kitten for her but there was no way that I ever would knowing how mean and cruel she could be. She even mentioned that if she ever got tired of it she would just throw it over the fence into the neigbors yard! Thanks for covering this topic...
I have a funny story.. My brother is a very sad gestalt and doesn’t like animals as far as I know.. Once he was feeding my cat when I was on holiday and she disappeared.. Luckily she came back home.. Anyways many years back we traveled to Italy by car.. We brought our cat with us. She had to pee. Guess where she did it? In his face! 😂 This still makes me laugh and makes up for a lot of shit he put me through..
Another thing to add is that narcs can also often love animals..but for the wrong reasons.. Pets love unconditionally and depend on their owner. That's basically a major supply for the narcissist who feels 'adored' by a creature so much. I know narcs who like animals in general.
Yep!! that was the way of my narc.father, he would cook greasy/fatty meats for the dogs we had over the years & enough to feed an army of dogs & the food would rot in the dog's dishes they were in!! Ohh the maggots & stink!! The dogs got more attention than his wife & we kids!!
Danish the woman I told you about had a black cat and this news scares me to death and i love animals been with the ASPCA since 2015 and it breaks my heart. I will try to find the poor black female cat. I love all animals and i would do anything to take it away from her. Even the cat has a negative name and its called Suicide now im gonna make it my mission to intervene on that little sweethearts behalf. Im so scared that i will lie to her just to take care of it and get it away from her. I will lie to get that little animal and i would call her Midnite Rendezvous. Thank you for being so thoroughly amazing!❤️💜💙💚💛
I have, HAD a self trained service dog for ptsd. Her training started at ten days old, following a training guide I could use to train her myself for this disorder, and my reactions to triggers. She responded to me at 3 months old, just 4 weeks after getting her, because I had physical contact with her for those first two important bonding months. She attended obedience classes for behaviour and socialization, in addition to her medical assistance. He took her from me when we split. Claiming rights to her because I could not walk her, she walks ME! She's easily excitable and she's not the perfect service dog, BUT she was perfection to ME. She knows when I need her. When I left, I disappeared, and took her baby brother pomeranian with me. My golden had a tough time in her last heat cycle, as it turned into a false pregnancy, belly enlarged, her stuffed toys became her babies, it was heartbreaking to know she was looking for real babies. After she was spayed, her little baby pomeranian became her "baby" and released her from that pregnancy she was "stuck" in. I think she plays with her pomeranian as if it's a stuffed squeak toy she can make "squeak". Her snout goes under the 10 lb body, lifts & launches the dog a foot away! They are a comedy team of 10 lbs Vs 80lbs in the arena! You know the noise maker of just 10 lbs is the alpha, it'taken him 2.5 years, but he's almost accomplished his task! Smart as a human being!
My parents severely neglected animals. The last one they had they would gang up against it and beat it up because it kept jumping the fence. And my dad loves to get new dogs just to treat them like crap. 😢 I agree with you, I don't agree with the disorder label too. I think narcs are just heartless & extremely selfish people. 😡 ... Awww that's such an adorable kitty 😍
If a child tortures animals, that's the first sign of that the child is a Psychopath, Malignant Narcissists are called Narcopaths, they are mean and sadistic ‼️The Proffesor in Psychology Sam Vaknin, is diagnosed Malignant Narcissist, he has many videos about Narcissism ‼️🎯JazzyT.
All you say is true. My ex husband put my dog down without bringing him home from the vet. The man I got engaged to after that would complain about my dog and kick him form jealousy, He'd say 'why you go to the dog? why you not come to me?'. Thankfully I broke up with him but it was hard to get away. It takes years for the penny to drop - for me to understand what kind of person I was dealing with. Thank you for the message and information you are passing on to help others.
Dear Danish, I been watching your series on this subject. It fits my ex wife's personality down to the letter. Maybe not 100%, but very close. We had to have a cat, and later a dog. She complained they didn't act how they should according to her logic. She developed a series of punishments for them. They would run and stay with me. That also made her angry and want to punish me. How can they like me more? She did put them on a pedestal mentally, but later treated them horribly. Eventually I had to get rid of them because they were 💩 according to her.
The more I've heard from professionals like yourself as well as from studying narcissism for three years I just can't see it as a disorder either. I do however see that personality disorders exist such as B.P.D. As a matter of fact someone in my family has been diagnosed with B.P.D that likely developed having been abused by a narcissist for years. On the subject of pets, I experienced a partner that would intentionally treat that animal better than me and display this distinct difference in front of me on purpose -- similar to when they talk to other people that they want somethings from in front of you.
Owning an animal is the greatest gift of protection against a narcissist. I dated a man for a while and he wanted to get married, but insisted I just dump my dogs in the country because he didn't want pets. I dumped HIM!
Narcs treat their pets like slaves to provide them with endless supply
Good job🎉. Yes to pets, no to the narcissist. You chose your pets! ❤
Good call 😊
Congratulations on your choice! Wonderful ❤
Good call
When I was a kid my dad would not let me have a pet. Considering how abusive he was, that was probably just as well. When I was 7 years old my grandma began staying with us, because my mom had left. My grandma brought her dog. I would play with him. When my grandma realized her dog liked me more than her, she took her dog and left. From time to time she would visit, but not bring her dog. I never saw him again. I found out from my uncle that whenever the dog would hear children outside, he would run to look out the window, as if he was looking for someone. And then the dog would look sad and go lay in his bed. My uncle told me that he thinks the dog was looking for me. I think it was selfish of my grandma to keep her dog away from me, knowing how much we made each other happy.
I live with a guy who is the same ,he is pathetically jealous of my relationship with his dog .I gave up I feel for the dog I now have little to do with the dog SAD
So sad for both you and the 🐕
Sounds like you had a horrible set of parents/grandparents. I’m sorry.
@@alonzomosley7 My god, jealousy for an animal is incredibly low.
They are evil, and karma will get them.
Animal abusers should be sentenced to jail.
Forever
I have to agree. It's illegal. But they usually get away w it
I’m not vegan, but gave up eating pork because of how pigs are treated. They are like dogs and I just couldn’t be part of their abuse.
@@karah916you should extend that to all animals go spend some time with chickens cows and the little baby lambs
And evaluated for sociopathy and psychopathy. As far as I know, all serial killers have been known to torture animals.
Owning a pet is a truly humbling experience, I agree with you! We don't deserve them
I am someone who attracts narcissist. I am aware of this and try to be very careful but am not always successful. I have 2 cats and a dog. I watched my ex-husband strangle my dog,throw it up against a wall, kick my cats and onetime drive it 30 miles away and dropped off in a forest. I prayed for my cat everyday and 6 months later it was at my front door on Christmas Day!! I've been divorced from that husband for 34 years. I love your spiritual spin on this subject. Narcissism is evil!
God is so good. I'm glad your cat came back ❤
I am SO SO incredibly sorry you went through that. Pets are so much more than just pets, they are our family members. I pray that your healing journey has been nothing but blessings 🕊 I’m currently on my own healing journey. I was married to a narcissist for almost 2 years and I’m starting to get a shift of perspective: instead of being sad and broken about the things that did happen to me (nowhere near as bad as this but it was still emotionally bad), I’m going to start being thankful and grateful for the things that God saved me from. Hearing all these testimonies break my heart to see how bad things get with the narcissist years down the road. I am so sorry for you and to anyone that had to endure such evil 😭 I have me own experiences with my ex-husband the narcissist but i am grateful for getting out when I did and from the things God saved me from! Blessings sister praying for your peace and joy! 🤍
Your lucky to have survived him😮
I am sorry for your horrible experiences. Since you believe that you attract narcissists, please ….please don’t put your pets in a situation where they would live with an abuser. Please be aware and use your intuition. We humans must protect those who can’t protect themselves. God bless you and your pets 🙏🏽
My ex pretty much ignored our pets. Never fed them, made sure they had water, cleaned the litter box, walked our dog, nothing. It used to bother me but they were actually lucky now that I think about it. Our dog has passed but I have the 2 cats. Needless to say they are very happy spoiled kitties.
To cut it short. My dog was the reason why I left the narcissist and I cant even express how greatful I am for it. She saved me from the hell I was going through and set us free. Love dog and cats ❤❤
You can tell a Lot about a person by the way they treat animals 😢 thank u for ur videos ❤
absolutely true!
I know someone who hits their dog out of anger and frustration, but on Facebook he posted, " you can always tell someone's character by the way they treat their dog." I find the guilty party usually stands on a soapbox. Like the b;usdriver who kidnapped girls off his bus, and when missing he 'helped' to find them; meanwhile locked up in in upstairs bedroom. Gruesome story, I know. The good news is that they were finally rescued.....
@@solvereadingproblemswithph9070 Chameleons. They change based on their audience/witness/target.
I think one of the best way to test a person's character is by finding out what their opinion on cats are, and how they treat them. Dogs are obedient so it's easy to get along with them. But cats are kinda like roommates. If someone can't handle living with a cat and gets abusive, let alone at the sight of them, it would likely transpose to their human relationships to some extent. I'm not saying people have to like cats or even not dislike them. But those who actually wish for and would carry out harm on cats have never been ONCE good people in my experience.
Mine threw my cat 🐈 against the wall. The next day he said, “ I thought I told you it’s me or the cat 🐱. I told him that I had heard him and the cat is still here.
My husband, the narcissist, would rage at my cat knowing that it hurt me. Calling him nasty names, screaming and stomping his feet after him. I left last month and my cat and dog have been in a quiet environment along with me. They are healing as well. They are not "jumpy " anymore. They are getting a little better every day. Thank God my husband never put hands on them. God bless you all. Just Jen.
God Bless you as well. So glad you left him.
I'm so glad to hear that your pets weren't left in a horrible environment like that! No pet deserves that from anybody!
'jumpy' yes, exactly. My cat would sink low and skirt the skirting boards to avoid being near my husband. He physically abusive her whenever I wasn't around to see.
@@MissX33 It's an individual thing, and also narcissism is on a spectrum. Narcissist are abusive people, some worse than others. As for pets, yes SOME narcissists are abusive to pets, I would imagine they particularly dont like cats, as they are independent, whereas dogs are more subordinate and so more likely to be tolerated as they can control them. The narcissistic abuse towards pets can be quite subtle, such as taking in a pet and then giving it away a year or two later or just leaving them home locked in a laundry room for most of the day or in an outside dog run. What Danish is referring to is the narcissists partner's pet and how the narcissist often will pretend to be kind to them in your presence (and I think we are talking more about cats here) and then behind their backs treat them abysmally, such as not feeding them, force feeding them and/or physically abusing them. I have written about my experience my narcissistic husband did with my cat elsewhere in this thread. If you truly have a narcissist in your family, then count yourself lucky if they truly did nothing to your pets behind your back, but please do not paint all narcissists with the same brush as yours, when clearly just reading the comments here and from Danish's own experience, it seems there is a twisted thing going on between many narcissists and pets.
@@MissX33 I am so sorry that your mother didn't have the capacity to be a healthy human. I send healing vibes to you.
The trademark of the narcissist is that smile when someone else has misfortune and pain
totally. More like a smirk
That is also the trademark of a Marine.
Sounds like conald frump
@@jp13119can we have one space at least where someone doesn’t have to bring politics in outta nowhere???
Like GIVE ME A DANG BREAK!
Here- how about ALL people in a high position of power likely did NOT get there without doing some shady s**t and most politicians and the elite are likely to have these tendencies. Most if not all.
One isn’t better than the other they all suck and don’t care about us.
Can we move on now because I’m trying to work through some s**t and heal???
Could be sociopathy as well.
When you went the extra step of saying narcissism isn't a disorder, but a manifestation of evil, that's when I hit the like and subscribe button. Great video.
nothing furthers medical science more than denying mental disorders and demonizing them, really makes those seeking help want to reach out
When you think about it, because of the way we have “clinicized” it, the word “disorder” really just means that something isn’t right with this person. So it’s still right either way.
Me too!
It's what I have thought for years.
@@TheCenyon I just really want to address this comment. I am in no way saying everyone with mental issues is evil. I have loved, cared for, and advocated for close friends struggling with issues. There is, however, a large divide between a gentle human being that is having inner turmoil, and someone who presents as a predator with mental illness. I believe this is why some people can be helped, and others cannot. If you are hurting yourself, I have great compassion. If you are hurting others, my compassion ends there and is given to your victims.
I used to date a narcissist. And at the time a had a very small, young dog. He was a teacup poodle that I got for my 19th birthday and he was the most precious, loveable thing. I started dating this guy who came off as so sweet and kind and considerate but, needless to say, he started showing his true colors eventually. When we became engaged, he was treating me badly. I was more blinded then because it was my very first relationship and I knew that relationships could have rough patches, but it should have never been like that. My little dog was my world. He was just like my child and he was my best friend and I felt like we had a deep connection, which was important because I had no friends at the time. He was my only support and this monster of a guy wanted to separate me from that love and support. Ive dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 15, so having that love and support was so important to me. That guy told me that when we got a place together that I wasnt allowed to bring my dog. He tried to call it my mum's dog, but I corrected him and said that it was MY dog. I was raising him, I cared for him, I payed the vet bill, I bought the food so he was mine. This guy said that I couldnt bring him with us, but he wanted to get a bunch of cats, which im allergic to. His thing was that I could take allergy pills for it. It was all about him. His wants were the most important and he couldnt stand that any of my time or affection was going to something or someone else. I couldnt even have time with my friends or family. Finally, one evening he was at my house and he had been having stomach aches for a while. My dog was all happy and trying to be affectionate and he jumped on this guys stomach and this guy swung his arm and knocked my dog on the floor. I was livid. I went straight into "mama wolf" mode and went off on the guy saying "Whats wrong with you?! Dont you know you could have broken his legs?! Hes so little!". The guy didnt like this and said that his stomach hurt. I blantly said that I didnt care and its no excuse to just knock a tiny creature to the floor. The guy was so pissed that I cared more about my dog than I did his stomach. Yeah! That dog was my baby. You hurt my baby and I hurt you! I broke up with that guys soon after and have never talked to him since. He always tried to make himself out to be this wonderful, honorable person, but he wasnt. He used me and abuse me because of my kind heart. I was taught to care for things and be loving. My little dog lived to be a bit over 16 btw. He passed away Feb of last year. Always my little love.
Narcissists are self absorbed individuals, who only cares about themselvs, they are always jelous and envious on others, even your pets and children ‼️🎯JazzyT.
Whoa... I'm glad you got out and didn't get married.
@@finster1968 So am I. Everyday since him and I broke up, I am so glad I didnt marry him. I would have had no life whatsoever and Im sure the abuse would have gotten worse
❤🤗❤🤗❤🤗❤🤗❤🤗❤ T
This is a story I am relieved to hear. I am happy for you that you got out when you did. Also the whole cat thing sounded like he just wanted to make you miserable. I doubt cats were important to him
looking back, this all kind of makes sense. My father would brag about how great his dogs were when he was growing up. But he barely took care of any of our pets. He actually put our first dog down when I was very young without telling anyone because it peed on the bed a couple of times and sometimes would have seizures. That made my mom cry, and I was left wondering why the dog was there one day and gone the next. He said it was for my sake years later because he thought the dog was dangerous. I got a turtle for my 7th birthday that I neither wanted nor asked for. He didn't help take care of it at all and then chastised me for not taking care of it and being ungrateful for having it. We had two dogs after that that he was very minimally involved with, barely trained them, never walked them, never cleaned up after them, was critical of whether or not they needed to go to the vet. His first action in disciplining them was to hit them, anger was always his first resort. It's amazing how we tend to miss these signs, or explain them away for the sake of preserving piece of mind.
You are absolutely right. Before I understood narcissistic abuse, I wondered how my family members could act so cruel to a poor animal that loved them… now I know.
All of my family were like that. When I was a child I got rheumatic fever and was in hospital for weeks. My brother promised me that my animals would be looked after. When I finally went home I found my two pet rats, two rabbits and six mice all either dead or dying 😞 no one had even given them water. I still have nightmares and wake up sobbing now
That's so heartless!! Poor little things. Jesus said, "That which you do unto the least of these (the most innocent), you also do unto me." They will get their just desserts, one way or another.
@@Hawaiiansky11 the Bible also says, that those who destroy the earth will be destroyed, and I take that as all encompassing of God's creation. God commanded Adam to take care of the garden of Eden and the animals, it was God's first instruction to man. People who needlessly harm the earth or any living thing disgust me. Why would anyone want to destroy beauty.
Omg😢 that's horrible so sorry
@@lightbulb888 bless you 💜
So sad☹️
Yes, I am still being stalked and harassed by a narcissist person. He breaks into my home and split my parrots head down the middle and pulled its feathers off the head so I would know he did it. About 2 years later he broke in and poisoned my 12 yr old blind dog. I live by myself and I have no help. I finally stopped going to the police because they never would help. Sad part it that it's my 58 yr old brother.
That's not narcissism that's psychopathy.
I have a narcissist in my life pulling similar crap- know you're not alone even if you are- I'm sorry for your situation and for your pets
Ur bro a psychopath!
Holy crap! That is horrific! I'm so sorry! 😢
Try to raise money if you can't afford for a small security camera be safe
I’ve ALWAYS stayed away from people who don’t like animals, and have engrained the same into my daughters. I dated 1 guy who “hated cats” (I’ve always had one) and have realized after the cycles of abuse over the years, he was 1000000% a disgusting narcissist!
Great advice!!
The woman I am in the process of leaving has been abusive to my dog, that was the last straw tbh. I put up with emotional and physical abuse of my own but no one does that to my baby.
That was me too, 5 yrs ago. I left because I refused to let my dog live that way! I had accepted it for myself but NOT my dog!
I hope you and your fur baby are safe and happy and left her 💖
Good for you. Toss that attention seeking bioch to the curb. Don’t let anyone hurt your dogs.
Good decision. I hope that you can see yourself, now, too, as someone who does not deserve that. I hope that you would leave now, because you yourself deserve love and kindness. ❤️
God bless you 🙏💜✝️
The three worst narcissists in my life treated their pets better than any person or thing. I've never seen them abuse an animal.
Yup same, they love animals way more than humans by far
Probably you never seen what and how they are 1 to 1 with pet.
My narcissist even said so many times to one of our dog - you are so amazing, I could marry you 🤦♀️ at the same time if she wasn’t listening to him, he could became very rude to her.
I never allowed him to abuse pets, always stopped him even from shouting at them.
Once she did something wrong, he said let’s slap her.
Pets give them unconditional love and attention. They make excellent sources of supply. I've been in relationships with two narcs. If the pet begins to favor you or even just show you some attention, the narc quickly begins to resent the pet. I've seen it with my own eyes.
@@stainless1175able yes, pets, especially dogs will love their hooman, doesn’t matter who they are, how they feel or look etc.
From my experience, they are not able to love them in the same way as pets do.
They cannot care about them constantly, for a long time… if cat weed ( from experience, when cat was ill ) on the carpet or scratched him, he blames the cat and becomes angry to cat!
Not too long ago he said, he was sitting in the garden and one of dogs pooped in front of him!
He walked in and said, she turned her back to me and pooped on the grass! She definitely shoved disrespect to me! 🤦♀️
On the other hand, he constantly speaks how beautiful and clever she is! Sometimes buying treats and then starting arguments, we should buy a cheaper dog food!
They will “love” when they can get all they want from you, doesn’t matter, human, pet or thing!
Of course there are few types of narcissists, some are worse and some are bit better 🤣 also depends on age, the older they get, the worse they are.
My ex would stop anyone on the street to talk about their dogs. He LOVED all animals. I never thought he could hurt one until he hurt mine because I wouldn’t come back.
The reason I finally got the motivation to leave my mom's house was this. I was at the breaking point and one day i told her that i was going to start looking into moving out and getting my own place. She smiled at me with this evil glint in her eye, but said nothing. I thought to myself, I'm still going to leave, there's nothing you can do to stop me. I then went to bed and woke up to find that she had left the doors open to the room where all her plants were kept, every single one of them being toxic to cats. There are two doors between where the cats live and the plants are kept. She left both doors open. Luckily my cats didn't get into the plants, but they had all day to do so (I worked nights and slept days). I confronted my mom about it and, with the same evil glint in her eye, she said she had been so distraught about me talking about abandoning her that she must have accidentally left the doors open. I got the message. After that, i said nothing more about leaving, but secretly put my plan together, covering all my tracks and playing into her narcissism, being a good little victim, so she didn't get suspicious.
Oh man. I hope you got away
I love the way you mention the evil glint in the eye. Yes, that is it exactly.
😮
How are you doing now?
Did you go no contact? Or is she still in your life?
@@skathwoelya2935 its hard to describe any other way..crazy eyes kinda fits too..its somewhat of a dead wide eyed
stare
My mother was mean. My mother was mean to a little beagle mix we had. She would scream at her. The dog was not allowed inside. She had a dog house and was chained to it 90% of the time. When my sis went to college I looked after the dog. But Mom did treat one dog okay. That dog stuck to Mom like glue. When the dog died Mom cried. She treated my sister horribly and after my sis left she started on me. She pulled my hair and slapped me. She called me a dummy, and when I got into my teens and as an adult she was verbally mean and physically abusive. She ended up with dementia and died. My dad left her when I was 14 because of her abuse. Thank God I had a Uncle that got me through. She turned me on Dad for a short time as well. But Dad and I were close and it did not last long. She knew it bothered me whenever she was mean to the cat and dog. When Mom passed I was not sad.
I've had suspicions that my dogs were being abused when I was gone at work ⁶and he would be home. One day I came home and my 9 year old female Rottweiler wasn't quite right. She was running into things her legs werent working properly and when I left everything was fine. He did something to my dog that day and she suffers everyday now because of him. I feel so horrible like how did I let this happen to my loved pet? I had a voice recorder and recorded the next day and sure enough I caught him on tape beating my animals and then turn around and act as if nothing was wrong. I'm filled with rage because of this, I can only hope one day he will run into his karma. Monitor your pets closely people. Mine has suffered brain damage from my narc ex! On top of other pain inflicted from him.
🥺
I am so sorry for your dog...
Poor innocent soul
I was married to a covert narc
I had a cat at my Mother's house before
I was so sad not having him with me anymore...
I was always talking about him, watching videos of cats on youtube
The narc would say, you always watch these videos aren't you bored ???
He was annoyed of course because i showed less attention to him..
On day he told me well you should go to your Mother's house and bring buddy here (my cat's name)
I was so surprised !!!
Couldn't believe it and i shouldn't...
Long story short, he showed jealousy and animosity to this poor innocent soul but he managed to manipulate me...
We can't believe that there are evil people...
One day like you i wasn't there
Buddy stayed with the narc
And when i came back he was hiding under the couch and stayed there terrified....
This was the Last time my ex saw him
Well i tought so...
I brought him back to my Mother's house
Months late, he suddenly disapeared...
My ex would say well you know buddy is very vocal(this cat loved to "talk" with me)
Maybe one your Brothers chased him....
I believed it for one time but i had this feeling... Plus one day he told me
You know buddy is the type of cat that if you kicked him he would never ever come back Right ?
This !!!!!
I knew it was him who did it !!!
But i had no proofs....
Anyways God SAW it all and i Pray for Justice for Buddy🤲❤️❤️❤️
I am so sad i Couldn't Protect him🥺😔
@Mercy Rahma exactly how I felt and still feel today. Our pets don't deserve this and I would have stepped in between if I were there. I can't even imagine what he did to my dog, especially since she is a large dog. It tears me apart to hear things like this. They won't get away with this abuse forever! I hope everyone that reads this that is in a narcasistic relationship takes their pets seriously and does something for their sake before it's to late like in my case...
@@erinw1524 there should be more videos about how Narcs treat pets
Knowledge is Power and it can save Lives !
I am wondering my friend how he could hurt your dog since it's a large one ?
Dogs are so loyal and innocent
She must have tought the narc was "nice" like you did and she didn't see it coming... 🥺
They are such cowards !!!
They only hurt women and animals
A real man go for a man like him !
Did you report the abuse of your dog to the Police ?
Since you had records
You are very smart by the way for thinking about this !
I wish you all the Best, may you live a peaceful life with your Sweet dog 💖
I have 2 cats now, single and happy ! 🥰
Did you sue him for animal abuse and notify the authorities?
@@KatErina-ii6ru I told police, the psychopath narcissist was believed over me 7x. They wouldn't ask my child as he was under 10yrs when we finally got out. Sue? I can't even get court mandated child support out of him 🤪 suing is just throwing more money at a bad investment.
If a narcissist has a dog it is likely about how good the dog makes them look. Perfect breed, perfect training, even perfect communication, love and adoration.
This can even work out well, as long as nothing breaks the spell.
- from a recovering narcissist with a GREAT dog.
yes a coworker already talked about getting two Dalmatians as her 'next dog' because she wanted them to "look good walking in a room together."
Yup exactly, my ex liked the attention our dogs brought him because I spent a lot of time training them and they were quite cute. He acted like they were his achievement. I never liked leaving the dogs alone with him as I knew he’d neglect them. When we split my first thought was “No matter what the dogs come with me”. Luckily he didn’t care at all and instead was relieved. One less thing to distract him from himself.😮
@@sleepingdogslie It's really sad how much a narcissist misses of the world, like having a carton of ice cream and only licking the drops of condensed water off the pretty picture on the outside.
I am dog dependent, not that I couldn't live without one, but having a sincere companion enriches my life in so many ways. And I guess that reveals I've suffered through a number of insincere non-canine companions, too.
They buy pedigree dogs, not rescue dogs
Recovering narcissist? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅
When i started this video, i wasn't sure i wanted to finish it.. People like me, now, we can understand those pathetic, sad, blood suckers! and we can leave, but poor animals cannot... They don't deserve it...
Your cat is beautiful!
🤩
Bless you and yours Magda' xo🥰xo.
Listen idk what you believe but these narcissistic assholes WON'T get away for their mistreatment of all God's creatures including you! God created you and will hold EVERYONE accountable for themselves.
This person has a nice cat
He had his pets to show off that how animal lover he was but as days passed I realized through his rough behavior with even those soundless creatures same as he used to treat me when I disobeyed him . They were simply punching bags for that cruel , heartless man.
Thank you.
A narcissist is someone who is obsessed with themselves . If someone is abusing an animal, that’s not narcissism, that’s violent psychopathy. Get away from them immediately, but be careful leaving.
He knew I loved animals and took great delight in telling me cruel stories about animals so he could see me upset and then punish me for being upset .
He never touched my dogs or guinea pigs,he was never alone with them and we didnt live together.
My dogs however would go berserk when he entered the house-they knew what a monster he was before I did .
Animals see what we humans can’t
My dog knew he was a monster before I did too.
@@marciathomas1625 my dogs mean the world to me,they were trying to tell me he was bad ,I so wish Id listened to them.
I truly hope your dog wasnt hurt by this evil man x
@@princess_sapphire No. He was never alone with my pet.
My dog never bit a single soul but for one man, who was the favourite buddy of the narcissist I lived with. I knew I didn't like the guy, so when I heard my dog had bitten him I wasn't that surprised. It was only later that I learned quite how bad that man really was.
My eldest brother stabbed my beautiful white cat in the stomach and my mother didn't have the money to pay the vet for surgery and put the cat down. I saw him have my younger brother hold the cat while he stabbed him It was extremely traumatic to me. I was 10 years old at the time. I'm 61 now. I never got over it. I still feel aweful when I think about it. He and one of his friends took one of our other cats who had kittens and put her and her kittens in a sack then thew them in the river.
How could anyone be so cruel, I will never understand. I hope to see these kittys when I get to the other side. It still is traumatic for me to think about it. It was like a living nightmare. I have kittys now and give them lots of love and take good care of them.
This is the most painful topic for me. And I wish someone would have heard me talking about this.. it has been the worst experiences of my life.
I would love to be able to explain all the different scenarios in which this has literally kept me a hostage in the most dangerous relationship I’ve ever been in. No one understands, I’m repeatedly told to “ dump” my pets in order to escape. They have no concept
That my pets are the only family I have as a rescuer I gave them a promise to care for them forever. I have to hide with them, to which everyone states is a problem! Of course it is! But often we are not given any other options we can live with . My animals , family, have been with me throughout m cancer battle and are absolutely the reason I am still alive.
Hey I see you posted this 3 months ago but I'm wondering if you're still in this dangerous relationship, and if you have access to any resources that could help you escape? ❤
Are you ok? I can come get you. I am escaping myself right now. 4/26/24 I have a truck and trailer?
We have to stick together 😮
can't you take the pets with you?
Thank you for keeping your commitment to those loyal, sentient beings whom you have rescued and who have rescued you. Animals are not disposable.
I hope you have found a domestic violence shelter or other means to safely, permanently escape with your pets.
I was with my ex for two years. We spent all our time at his home, and he often asked me to bring my cat from my own home, to stay at his house, permanently as though we were gonna live together. Intuitively I knew not to take her there. If she had as much as scratched his furniture I knew he'd hurt her.
Good momma ❤️
@@WarriorConstance She still dated the guy tho.
Your right brother, my narcissistic wife put our dog down when I went away for a few days, I was the one who fed, exercised and looked after our dog for six years.
so so sorry Ben. what a witch. send love to your baby. God bless.
Soo sorry. .. 😢
I am so, so sorry.
That must've been rough on multiple levels.
My grandma did the same to my father and i's dog. So f devastating. I was only 5 and i loved that dog like a family member..
My ex was a covert narcissist, something Danish touched on in this video was that a narcissist can’t have a normal relationship with their pets. In my case she had a pair of black cats that she brought into the relationship, which I was fine with. What I noticed was she often spoke SO highly of these cats, the smarter one of the two she called her “familiar” and meant it. Like their relationship was so profound that I wouldn’t even understand. Now after watching most of Danish’s videos what she was really doing was saying to me “you can never be as close to me as this cat, you can never understand me like the cat” etc. So rather than being abusive she was using this cat to essentially belittle me in a covert way.
Omg its insane, right?!
Triangulation... my ex did it to me, he was going to leave me and did much compliments to his cat, while he was talking to me for leaving me, he said "how much he loved that creature, that was his only love" ... after a few months the cat passed away, misteriously... maybe it was an obstacle for his way to live, indeed he was a "digital nomade" he loved travelling everytime he could.
It's demonic and this is absolutely true. My now exhusband abused my dog and I didn't know what was happening as he did it secretly. I moved out while he was at work and my dog is so happy and alive. To anyone who is dealing with a narcissist, GET OUT.
Pets are disposable to them ....... Or they may serve a purpose to get narc supply. Sometimes it's to keep up appearances ....
How people treat animals is always a good indicator
So true. EVERYTHING is disposable for them
I think this is more likely
They go after what you love the most!! My dog knew from day one he was here to protect me and hasn’t let me down since. I will do everything i can to keep him safe as well. Do not let your pets out of your sight!! I take my dog to a safe home while working. Since I found him choking him. Protect your pets!! They don’t deserve it.❤
I remember when our Golden Retriever was sick with cancer and my narc husband went to the vet with me and the veterinarian had to ask him to leave the room because the dog was to nervous and was shaking. He was fine after that when it was just me and the veterinarian. We had another dog that would randomly walk up to him and growl. That was really creepy. The week before I left him for good he threw my 15lb Maltese out of my car resulting in him getting 8 stitches. I was with him for 34 years. When I left and took my dog I saw my dog relax after awhile the same way I did. It took a long time but I’m a happier person and he’s now 6 years old and so much happier. ❤️❤️
34 years, you must have went thru hell, hope he never thru you out the car window
I’m so happy to hear that someone, having stayed together that long, was able to gain there independence, freedom, happiness and space to breath freely after that many years. I am literally trapped and can’t find resources for my age group.
@@galecannington76 I hope you have asked at both a women's shelter and adult protective services
@galecannington76 there's so many ppl in their 70s leaving their narc spouses. There is hope and you got this!!! 💪🏾💛😍
How on earth could you stay with the devil himself for that long? Did you learn to hate yourself that much?
I had a narcissistic sociopath bf when I was young. I left him at my place alone one day and when I came home, my cat was shaking under the table sitting in his own urine. I ended it right there but because he was insane he stalked me for a year after, smashed the windows put of my apartment building and I literally had to put him in jail and move. Stay safe out there folks, he would have killed me.
We need to bring our pets or introduce out pets to potential partners starting at Date One - and trust your pets. My daughter got a dog that was rescued from a bad situation, from my father (narc mother's enabler) a couple of years ago. I was dating this guy who I'd been trying to get rid of for a while.
As soon as the dog met him, she crawled into either my or my daughter's lap and barked at him. She didn't bark at my father, or at my daughter's boyfriend, only the guy in my life. Then the jerk tried to take over our training of her, and do this 'dominate' type of training. That's when I said, "Done." I kicked him out very soon after that, recognizing that the dog wasn't mad at him, it was scared of him.
That tells me that he was consumed by dark energy that animals all recognize. Good riddance!! The dog is doing well and is very well loved.
You had a lucky escape. Most female murder victims in USA are victims of husbands or boyfriends not strangers.
This fits quite well with my narcissist father. My parents decided later in life to show dogs. It is not the ultimate situation for any dog to be trained for showing. But this dog finally had enough of it and became very aggressive. To the point, my parents had to put him down after he went for my brother's throat. The dog had no boundaries and no consistent affirmation or affection. Again, how sad.
Thank you for this episode. This kind of abuse is bazaar and extremely painful. I thought I was alone and it helps to know I’m not.
When I was married to my ex husband, I had a little 3 lb chihuahua. Every time he would go into a narc rage, she would get physically sick. Her little tummy would rumble, & she would throw up foamy bile. After we left, she never had another episode. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he abused her behind my back. He was, & probably still is, a monster.
@@Parrotgirl-tattoo That’s so awful. I’m glad you left.
@@Parrotgirl-tattoo😞I'm sorry you two had to go through that, I really sympathize bc while I was growing up my "egg donor" was so jealous of my connection with animals that she'd kill my pets and then make me believe that it was my fault.
I stopped having them bc of it (even though I've always been obsessed with critters) and became clinically depressed.
After I left home, I worked/ ran Dude Ranches and eventually started my own Animal Rescue Farm (ARF🐕) 👍😻👍
After I found out the truth about her, I went NC and now I teach OP all about animals... specializing in (teaching OP in) training Service Dogs and Therapy Animals (if they flunk SD training) for people with disabilities.
It toadally🐸 INFURIATES her 😹🤣😹
I'm really glad that you managed to escape too! 👏😺👍
I'm so sorry you had to go through such pain with Narsistic parents. The poor people and animals these evil people prey on makes me sad. Your cat is absolutely beautiful ♥️
I need to tell this story I really do. I was visiting a friend with a large family all children under the age of twelve. They had the cutest pup around the age of one year. It was a very hot day the dog was chained it had managed to knock over his water bowl. Upon seeing all of us he got so excited partiality because of company and hoping for water. He kept jumping around and whining my friends husband kept yelling at him to shut up.
I blame myself for the following. I love dogs always have and I pointed out he had no water. I asked one of the children to fill his bowl. The husband was visibly angry and walked away. I thought it was because the children had neglected the dog and not taken care of his basic needs. I was wrong.
A few minutes later dad appeared with a gun in his hand. The dog was enjoying the cold water when the dad aimed his gun at the dog. I started begging him not to shoot to just let me have the dog. He considered it for a minute then point blank shot that poor dog. Then he yelled at the kid now bury it.
They had a beautiful blond haired girl I was very fond of around the age of eight. I noticed none of the children were crying. She looked up to me with her big blue eyes and said....he always kills our dogs best not to get attached.
I got in my car drove away and never went back.
What the actual fuck, I have no words
Did you go find someone and and report it? SPCA Murder a pet is a crime as well as animal abuse. Also more importantly is to get those children from that evil demon. Obviously the mother is too far into it.
You are absolutely correct in your analysis. I had my little Yorkie for 14 years before I met by ex- boyfriend aka the narcissist. He asked me to move in with him and the day before I moved… he said I couldn’t bring my dog. Needless to say, I didn’t moved with him. I had already gave my 30 day notice to my landlord so pretty much I was left with no place to go.. I had to run around like a crazy person all over town to find a place I didn’t even liked but moved there so I could keep my dog. Fast forward 2 years after, I was still in a relationship with the narcissist when my dog passed away. I called off work the next day and was emotionally devastated.. He told me I was overreacting, that it was just a dog!! I was so sad about loosing my baby I couldn’t even get angry.. but in that moment I realized he had no heart.
My narc sister went out of her way to buy a cute little dog. She researched for weeks and finally met up with the seller and got the dog. She was telling everyone about it. She purchased a bed, lots of wee wee pads, toys and even scheduled to take pictures with the dog and Santa and place the photo on the wall at her place.
She didn’t have ANY patience with potty training the little pup. She couldn’t tolerate the mess when she got home and then tried to guilt trip other people into taking care of the dog when she went to work. I wanted no parts because I just brought a newborn home and didn’t want to have to think about a puppy to mind as well. This of course got her upset because who in the world tells her no right??!?!
She then started to neglect the dog and instead of leaving the dog in the house while she was at work, she left him in the cold dark garage. And I mean COLD. He got matted and dirty and she stopped talking sweet to him. Then a blizzard came and you know what she did?? She took him to the groomers and shaved all his fur down to his bare skin because it was so matted and dirty. The groomer had no choice but to do that. And instead of bringing the dog in house where it is warm…she put him back in the cold dark garage again. When asked why doesn’t she bring him in, she responds with “I can’t be bothered.”😒
Next morning she goes in the garage and finds him frozen to death. And you know what she started to do??? Cry. She started to cry and tell everyone about how hurt she is.
I can’t tell you how much she disgusts me. She continued to cry for weeks looking for sympathy from everyone. She is seriously a special case.
and u just watched silently as she abused the poor innocent creature 😒
@@gctechhubcstutorials7856right?! She is worse than her sister. She had the power to help the animal and chose to be passive. Because she seen it as helping her sister not the animal. Pathetic. She is just as vile
@@gctechhubcstutorials7856 That was ridiculous! How do you know she abused him? And how could she take a pet away from someone for buying a bed and pads or taking pics? Evil people love dogs and cats. They don't often abuse their animals, because narcs target humans. In fact Nazis and other horrific persons adored their pets and 'nature'. It is a creature who seems to worship them.
You make no sense. Did you ignore this all along or did you discover it after the dog died? If you knew about it while it was happening you are just as guilty for your inaction.
@@kimberlee2809 He may have been a child or not understood the possible consequences or have been victimised so thoroughly that he was afraid to intervene.
Very true message brother Danish....I'm married 2nd time to a narcissist...my eldest brother's (also 2nd marriage) wife...a witch gave me a drink to drink, which towards the end was stinking dirty...my mother died mysteriously.....a very good proposal had come for me but these jealous witches (my 2nd brother's wife too) just put him off...i blindly started going after this man....he and his sister started torturing me ...my son was born....everytime he put me out of the house....i was totally fedup...i left never to return ...2 yrs i wasnt here but a year back i came back....because my sis in law sent a demon spirit after my son....me and my son have gone thru so much but God was always with us....the eldest brother's wife killed my cats....i was taking care of them...one surviving kitten i brought her here...he hit her and me and my son left her at my mother's place....after a few months i got news that she's no more...i went into depression....I'm praying to God to totally deliver me and my son from this man....
BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL...AND HE WILL MAKE A WAY I TRUST AND I BELIEVE
Thanks brother Danish for all your informative videos and a big God bless to you and Bella....
I’m in tears watching this remembering the treatment of the dog we had as a child. Neglect and literal physical abuse. No one, not the children, not the spouse, not even the dog was exempt from the abuse of the monster that gave birth to me. I don’t believe in souls in the religious/supernatural sense, but I have never heard anything more accurate than that narcissists have no souls.
I understand! I was 3 when my narc mother moved in with my stepdad who had a dog. There are old home movies showing the dog as part of the family but he ended up chained to a box, neglected and beaten when he escaped.
She turned him against his dog and later his own children (my step siblings). I feel so much guilt about that poor, sweet dog that it makes me sick to my stomach.
@@SuzyQpip 🤗😭It's not your fault!! You were a victim too. I feel the same... I just feel SO angry hearing about animal cruelty because I witnessed similar things as a child. Idk how to heal but hoping somebody here does. 💙 Much love
@@nellieshoals : Thank you! 🤗
similar story here, my parents got birds when i was 7 or 6 and they just left all the responsibility on us, the birds had just a small cage, and it was a really bad environment for them. i wish they were mature enough to learn how to actually take care of them and give them a better place to call home, instead of leaving it to their uneducated children.
Read first half of the People of the Lie dr Scott Peck.
Hard for me to relate to this one 😮. Mine came home every day , played with the dog, petted it, fed it gave it 1000 times more affection and attention that I ever received from him! He also let the cat sleep with him when he would sleep and the couch and not even come to bed😢. He tried to make us jealous of the animals not the other way around but I never was because I loved the animals.
This! This is exactly what I went through with him!
Narcissists can absolutely turn people, kids, pets against you, purposely to hurt you. There are a few different subtypes of narcissism and the traits they exhibit vary for each individual. However, as a whole, they ALL have huge similarities.
How little he had to do to maintain a relationship with a dog than with a human, and yet get so much unbridled adoration in return.
Not to mention how the innocent animal could be used as a tool to make you feel bad, and, potentially, compete with it for scraps of the narcissist's attention.
I agree my ex was the same cared more about the cat then hes family!
He was triangulating you with animal
My narcissist mother literally put our dog down "Mr. Boobie" because I finally was financially able to leave her but the housing units didn't accept pets. I'm super sick so it took a long time for me to get the financial help from my government before I could. Anyway, it scared me further. And I've been horrifically abused by my family and guess what it didn't turn me into an abuser of the most vulnerable creatures in on this planet... oh this world is a mess.
Good for you 👏😻👍
My egg donor was so jealous of my connection with my pets that she'd kill them & convince me that it was my fault... so I stopped having them & became clinically depressed 😿
It toadally🐸 INFURIATES her that I went NC & now spend my life teaching OP all about animals and specialize in (teaching OP in) training Service Dogs & Therapy Animals (if they flunk SD training) for people with disabilities 😹🤣😹
@tammyrawdon3587 awesome way to channel your experience 👏
Mother in law put down several pets because they were inconvenient or too hyoer
This is such a sore and painful subject for me, that all I can do is stop by and say it. I can’t even bare to listen to this one. 😢
I used to be friends with a narcissist. And she always said how she hated cats "cause they don't love you unconditionally" "and don't let you pet them whenever you want to pet them" I love dogs but unfortunately they fall victim to lots of narcissists. When people say they hate cats for those reasons, that's a huge red flag. Hating an animal because they use consent and need to gain your trust is not a reason to even dislike an animal.
I hate cats cause they stink
this is SO WELL SAID. I am learning about this narc trai for the first time and the dominoes of my entire life are falling into place.
Oh... I was here because I was wondering if my so called 'friends' are narc. But realizing they do have dogs and they really seem to love them back so it made me feel confused again whether they are one or not. But now that you mention it, since I owned cats, I remember them commenting what you did say and I have to agree with it.
Mark Twain said that a man who loves and takes care of cats is the man he respects the most.
The best way to get rid of a narcissist is don’t let them have you or have their way with you.
Reject narcissists
Neglect narcissists
Ignore narcissists
Cancel plans
Avoid narcissists
Be disinterested in them
Be angry with them & push them away
Don’t let them control you
Stop serving them
Everything you said is true, and I have experienced this myself. Although these things happened long ago, I still carry the emotional trauma and the resentment. I wish I could tell you about my experiences, but I just don't want to make it public.
I never realized the correlation between infants and pets, but I now can CLEARLY see how my NPD ex treated our new baby, his jealousy and the way he was always trying to separate me from the infant that I was breastfeeding. He did a lot of damage that I was blind to until this very moment. I have to agree that the word "EVIL" is closer to what these hard core NPD people truly seem to be. A disorder can often be worked with and rectified for the good of all involved. I don't think I have ever seen the upper NPD people come down off their pedestals for more than a few minutes, then it's right back to abuse, drama and outright lies.
NPD? Other people don't understand your acronyms. So. Write it down folliw by ( )
I understand your conflict well. When I think back to the time I began dating my husband (35 yrs ago), he showed so many signs of narcissism. But I had no idea what it was back then. I tolerated his odd behaviors because I 'loved' him. The first time that I realized how nasty and bizarre his behaviors were, was when we had our daughter. For the first 6 months of her life, he pouted, stomped around and complained about how she and I were getting so much attention from family/friends, and he was ignored. I specifically remember him telling my family that he was being treated like he had no part in creating this baby and felt like an ATM machine, etc. While I understood that it was a huge change in our lives and some of his concerns were valid, I couldn't get over how dramatic he was being about it all. Jealous, over a baby? YOUR baby?! Really?! He was behaving like a toddler who couldn't control his emotions and would literally have tantrums. I felt like I was Mommy to 2 children. It was embarrassing. For a time it got a little better, but he would end up going in and out of these fits throughout our marriage (did it with our 2nd child, pets, etc.) and ended up becoming distant and unfaithful. He often sought out the attention and company of co-workers (mostly female) for supply/validation. It's what he always needed and craved (and always will), in order to function normally and be 'happy' (ie. Regulated). It took me 36 years and a final discard by him to realize this and take the hint. 😢 I have always truly loved him and am devastated that our marriage didn't last, but I understand now that it just wasn't meant to be, and we need to go our seperate ways. I refuse to be in someone's life that doesn't want me there. I'm worth way more than that. It hurts, but it's ok. We will be alright. All the best to you and everyone else going through this.
Both my parents were narcissists as well and I clearly remember being shocked at times with their behavior toward cats and then trying to rationalize it. They bought a beautiful golden retriever puppy in their older years (their first and last dog) kept him for about 3 or 4 years, never trained him, rarely interacted with him, kept him in a cage in another part of the house most of the time and finally got rid of him because they couldn't deal with him. My mother explained that once they had retired he didn't fit their lifestyle anymore. It makes me understand even more clearly their treatment of me. Thank you for this video.
I knew my step moms best friend who is married to this guy and she bought this guy a cat and when he didn't do what she wanted she eithier dropped the cat off in a forest. Give to other people as gifts. Or eventually when she got tired and got bored of the cat she sold to pet shelters or pet stores
sending love your way♥
Thank you for exploring this topic Danish. My narc mother had a cat whom she adored. She went out of her way to lavish it with love and affection, and I know she would do it purposely to spite me. She would say to the cat numerous times a day I love you, while just ignoring me. She could never bring herself to say it to me. She knew it bothered me that she never told me she loved me, but she would go out of her way to say it to her cat. This was one of her many childish tactics to minimize me.
Thank you for this video. My narcissistic mother waited until I was on vacation with my father to take my cat to a kill shelter, and then bragged about doing it. I was too afraid to go with my father on a vacation after that.
Oh nooo that is awful I'd never forgive her what a cow ,hope you have loads of kittocks now ...
I had the same situation. Like somebody took my soul. Cats were only friends that I had in that time.
😞 how why are people so evil
I know someone who bought a huge high maintenance dog as a surprise gift for his girlfriend days after moving in together. He made her do EVERYTHING related to the dog from feeding, walking , vet appointments/emergencies. In front of people he acted like a dog person. In private, he ignored the dog. It was obvious that the dog was bought to tie her down and keep her busy/controlling her and making her less available to other people.
She left a year later and the dog is being cared for now by someone else.
god that sounds like what happened to me :D
The same thing is happening to me now. But my dog will come with me. I'm scared to leave her alone without me now. Last time we broke up he took the dog out all day and didn't tell me where she was.
That's a classic narc behavior they know we like animals so instead of buying low maintenance animals they buy us the most complicated high maintenance animals they could get their hands on
This topic is IMPORTANT. Whoever you are ... don't ignore it one more hour.
Your analysis on pets is so truthful - I have witnessed regular abuse of a pet by its owner who is a narcissistic bastard - plus my own dog doesn’t like him he senses his evil treatment of everyone
You definitely need to report that!
I didn’t realize that my narc ex was jealous of my parakeet. He was “taking care” of him for me when I was traveling and the bird mysteriously died the first day of my trip. My son was devastated. The narc later bragged to others how the parakeet was basically telling me “F you” which was HIS projection and that I was better off without the annoying bird. It felt disgusting to hear. Needless to say, this was the beginning of the end of our relationship.
I had cancer and got a radical mastectomy, I wanted to remain like that but was brainwashed and guilt tripped to surgical reconstruction. When I was recovering at the hospital it was an inferno at my house and when I came back, my 19 years old cat was left locked in the balcony in early spring with really low temperature and my dog was put to sleep. I left with my kids two months later to live overseas; 4 years have passed and I still suffer for those traumatic events. Many other things happened that time but the stoty is too long for a comment. Blessings to all who suffer in the hands of these Jezabel spirit possessed people, may the merciful Father deliver you.
The Lord Jesus bless you with strength, healing, peace, joy, increase in every area of your life in the name of our Lord, Jesus.
Amen& Amen!
Absolutely cruel!! I'm sorry that happened to you!
@@KingofgraceSARA Thank you. Blessings ❤️💕
@@LKauf279 ❤️
Each of our 2 cats died shortly after bonding with my father and my mother becoming jealous of the affection that they got from him and NEVER wanted to go to her. I suddenly understand why so many disappeared out of nowhere. It is a lot to deal with, especially after you discover that you have been autistic all along too. Thank you for sharing.
My mum got rid of two dogs because she said the dogs bonded to my dad more and she was jealous. I’m glad I don’t have anything to do with them
When my mother died, her cats were left with my father. They were overfed, the litter box was outside in the rain and if one pooped or peed inside he got angry! When they were sick I had to make sure they got the medicine because he pretended he couldn't. He chased a cat away, another was found dead outside and I took one cat with me because he was badly neglected and was locked up upstairs without food and drink while he was deathly ill. My father was away for the weekend. I confronted him about that when he got back and his response was; just let him put asleep. I don't want to be restricted in my freedom by a rotten cat…With the cat under my arm I went and never contacted him again. My father's cruelty was the last straw for me. I lovingly cared for and kept his cat and I never have to see my father again!!! 😢 I love cats, i have 3…. So,… a big hug for your Ben and a big thank you Danish for al your support.
There's more to the story... if my wife died and left me her 3 cats and their litter box to care for?.. depends on the wife... mine? That's a no... hell no. Cats have many lives... I have only one.
@@ruscle619yes, there’s more to the story, much more!! To much to tell….He was always very selfish an treated my mother like shit, but they got the cats together (he wanted them himself at the time!!) and if he didn't want them anymore after she died he could have tried to find them a good new home!! But heartless as he is, he doesn't care. (If my husband died and that cat was something we bought together I would cherish the animal even more! ) That a cat has many lives is not true! A cat also only has one and that life is just as precious as that of a human being!!! He never cared for his wife the way he should, he never cared for his kids the way he should the only thing he ever cared for was himself.
He doesn't deserve your presence. No contact is the best way
My friend,who I think may be a narcissist, has a habit of collecting animals, currently she has 4, and off loading them onto other people to look after them. I’m not sure why she does this, but I find it weird. And she always gets very difficult pets to look after, like Italian greyhounds that are very delicate and highly strung.
Sorry but your dad deserves to go to hellfire for eternity for what he did.
Thank you for talking about how cruel a narcissist can be to pets because they are jealous people. They go out of their way to talk down about you and your pet that is apparently in the way of them obtaining the attention they desire. Without even knowing about how narcissists act, I conclude and believe for sure my friend of 49 years was terribly jealous of my pets because he was not getting the attention he wanted from me. No contact has been in effect for almost a year and I can honestly say I feel great relief.
My N loves our animals. He treats our dog way better than me! lol. He is a Covert N. He loves that the dog pays attention to him and get dog doesn’t talk back. He loves the unconditional love the dog gives him.
Mine was the same way he definitely loved our dog but not me so much 😭
He triangled you with the dog just to get any rise out of you. My ex did the same thing... until I started acting like I did not see either of them. Then soon after he didn't want to be bothered with him. Poor puppy.... I petted him up behind his back... until I left. 😂
Covert Narcissists are seen as nice, they are called profesional victims, behind closed doors their target gets heavily abused ‼️🎯JazzyT.
@@gracemissouri1146 great wise woman 👍
You deserve a nobel prize for such a deep understanding of narcissists! Your understanding of narcissism puts the understanding of narcissim of everyone to shame.
No lol, this is not on the level of a psychiatrist/psychologist who specializes in personality disorders and such. Far from it. There's even some stuff that's mixed up with other disorders or is inaccurately portrayed. He's a coach and he's good at coaching you to protect yourself from people with bad intentions, but he's not on a "nobel prize" worth understanding of narcissism.
@@Dice-Z In Personality Disorders, there can be an overlay, where a person can get traits from the others ‼️🎯JazzyT.
@@Dice-Z he is speaking from experience, so he is experienced in the subject. does not take a piece of paper to make one experienced in a subject.
@@Dice-Z You are absolutely wrong!
He is the best. I’m shocked. I finally feel like someone out there understands what’s happening to me
Thank you Danish. I had often wondered about the relationship of narcissists to pets. I'm middle aged today, but when I was 10 years old, my father came home with a small monkey!!! We had a dog at the time. That monkey became my best friend and doted over me. He made us laugh and loved an audience! he was so smart & a good monkey and loved our Poodle. I started to hear my mother telling my father that it was not healthy for a monkey to love a young girl. It became a sort of harassment of my father to do something. One day I came back from school & he was gone! I was so distressed, but luckily the family who took him were so annoyed that he had ripped all their lemons off their lemon tree & was causing havoc in their garden. When I had walked into our home & he saw me, he jumped for joy and screamed with delight. But my mother was very unhappy and a week later upon my return from school, he was gone again! This time my father said he'd sent him to another town. I never quite believed this and now I am sure that they euthanised him! We had a cat that she would take away from us to our home country and leave her at times for a year in a dark room of her office to be fed once a day by her secretary who obviously was busy with her job & had not been employed to play with cats. The strange thing is that on a return to the country where my dad was working, she had with her a kitten & our cat. So a couple of years later when we returned to our home country for good, she had kept the cats at her office in the dark room because she told us that she had seen them climbing up the beautiful curtains of our beautiful new home. We were surprised as we'd never seen them doing that before. To solve the problem, she went & gave them to a pet shop where we'd sometimes go & visit them (my sister & I were young teenagers by then). One day my dad came home with a puppy that one of his clients had given him. My mother was furious. But this time Dad wasn't giving in to her wishes for him to be returned. He stayed with us for 6 years until he died on a flight as we were leaving our war torn country. We (Dad, my sister & I) cried for days, but my mother didn't even shed a tear. It's like he never existed for her! We have had a lot of cats since, then, but I don't think I ever saw my mother feeding any of them or even stroking them. They always loved my dad & my sister & me. Looking back, it was by some miracle that my sister & I made it through, as we were in mortal danger and I only figured this out years after my mother's death. My father was a smart man, but it was like he was under a deep spell and couldn't see just how much danger we were in (he was the total opposite and was so afraid that we'd catch a chill if we took off our woollen jumpers in 40 degree Centigrade weather or if we slept with the window open we'd die of pneumonia in that kind of heat or if we'd get hurt playing sports, if we were late coming home, he'd panic that we got run over or got in an accident, etc., etc., yet the biggest danger for us was the one sleeping in his bed!!!! Thank you for doing this video. It has helped me realise that I wasn't imagining things!
I'm sorry you had to endure such mental and emotional abuse. It sounds like your father became hypervigilent because he knew something was wrong and dangerous but didn't understand, as you mentioned. I hope his heart and mind saw the truth after your mom's passing.
I'm happy that you retain your sanity and found the courage to raise awareness on the issue
I was indelibly impressed with how a cat, and a toddler, reacted with anxiety when meeting a narcissist neighbor, who swore to me that animals and kids LOVED her. Now I always rely on cues from others when I think I detect a narcissist. Thank you for your great video. It informed me of potential horrors I wouldn't have anticipated. I think I'll be a new subscriber.
My narcissistic first husband would take our dog out in the garage and beat on her with a newspaper. I would hear her howling in fear and pain, but I felt powerless. He would pause for a few minutes and then start in on her again. I was afraid of him because he had held me down on the bed and spanked me with his wooden hairbrush on multiple occasions if I said something he didn't like. He only stopped doing this after he actually hurt my tail bone and I couldn't sit down without pain for weeks. This was in the early 1970s. There was no 911 to call and domestic violence wasn't talked about. I didn't know about Narcissistic Personality Disorder then. Thank you for speaking out about narcissism so that those of us who endured abuse for years can now understand what was wrong and why we had to get away from our narcissistic abuser. I left my narcissistic husband 30 years ago after being married to him for 22 years. I wish I had known about NPD then so I wouldn't have taken the blame for everything for so many years. I blamed myself for the dog beatings because I was too afraid to intervene.
I've had that experience. I've been told I love my dogs more than I love this person. Knowing his character, I said " I won't deny that statement". My dog was diagnosed with idiopathic epilepsy turned out to be hypoglycemia. We had to visit the vet regularly to manage this. I was told that I was doing too much to keep my boy alive. When my dog crossed the rainbow bridge, people would send me messages of condolences and I was heartbroken when he died, he was 11 years old. I would cry with every message I received, I was told to put my phone away and stop crying. I can go on and on about all my experiences. My heart goes out to all those dealing with these experiences. You don't easily see what's going on.
This got me to the core! I’ve seen this abuse up close, repeatedly. It’s so sad! Thanks for putting this into words.
Narcissists can't stand it if the animals like you more than them. They will get rid of the animal or use it to hurt you.
This made me cry and very tense as I have lived this and still grieve. Thank you for the validation, I love all fur babies & the owners that endure this.
You are so spot on! Someone gave my narc mother a cat that had been so abused previously that it never grew any bigger than a tiny kitten. My NM wanted it to sit next to her on the couch but it was scared, she mashed its little body down onto the couch and literally yelled “stop being afraid!”
That reminds me of the scene from "Bruce Almighty" where he is trying to command Grace to "Love ME!"
Although my husband was diagnosed as a covert narcissist, he loves animals. He's good to them. Loves them. And they love him too. It's almost like he knows he doesn't have to keep up the facade with a pet. Also, he loves pointing out when the pets like him better than anyone else (I suppose that might be a narc trait, idk) But yes. Thankfully, not all narcs abuse animals.
I LOVE cats!! Anyone who loves cats is OKAY with me. They are caring, kind and loving people. Dr. Ramani sometimes has her cat sitting on her lap too. We had a cat just like hers.
It's not always 100% the case, and i've seen people who seem to like cats and own one, but turn out to not like them that much, not treat them that well, and see them as a commodity, a pricy decoration if you will. They aren't very well adjusted. It's a potential red flag if they only go for the most expensive breed, bought from a breeder, instead of saving a cat from the street who will not only be a beautiful and absolute sweetheart 99% of the time, but also be a lot tougher and live a lot longer rather than die 5 years old of a purposedly engineered genetical defect. But otherwise if they are legitimately loving with their cat regardless of breed, they are usually good people.
Dr. Ramani is not a narcissist so i have no idea what you’re talking about??
@@icansaveher I'm so sorry!! I mean I love cats and anyone who loves them is a good person in my books!! NOT a narcissist. I was just commenting that they both must love cats. Of course NEITHER one of these people are narcissists. I'm sorry. Sometimes I reply before rereading what I wrote.
@@lindamoore9729 no i’m sorry i feel terrible i shouldn’t have been so rude about it i just didn’t understand, you don’t have to be sorry, i’m sorry.
@@icansaveher I do believe we must both be empathetic people. lol. Quick to apologize.
11:10-11-19... Agree 💯% 👌
This is why I follow you and Dr. Ramani because you both get it, you fully understand and educate on the root of narcissistic nature. Thank you 🙏
Finally someone addressed this important phenomenon. My ex would regularly complain about how my cat is giving him allergies, and he would grab her and throw her to the wall because it bit him. All cats occasionally bite you gently on your wrist when you pet them, it's a sign of affection. Either way, it's an instinct they have, they certainly have no control over it.
My ex boyfriend would on multiple occasions beat her hard on her back, "in order to teach her that she must show him respect".
The narcissists are constantly in a "are you disrespecting me??" mode, and it's crazy how this, at the basis, inferiority complex also applies to poor innocent animals.
Then a couple of years later, he got a cat. And then he became obsessed with him. He bought him expensive gifts while forgetting to get me something for Valentine's. He posted a ton of pictures with him on his social media. And he yelled at me for "disrespecting his cat" when I would accidentally do something "wrong" like forgetting to close window shades so that the cat doesn't potentially get bothered by pigeons that sometimes come to the window (the window was closed 24/7, but my ex didn't want his cat to even see the pigeons).
His whole house smelled of cat food and cat litter by the time I left the relationship...
And u let him? Wow...weak asf
When my parents divorced, l learned of the different "masks" that narcissists wear. My dad was verbally abusive and would often ridicule anything he considered silly or simple minded. He picked a new lady target who had a dog. She was a bit "off" and juvenile herself. Obviously, someone my father thought he could manipulate. She would baby talk her dog, which is usually normal, but it was excessive to the point of being odd. She would read birthday cards aloud to him as if the dog could understand like a child. We also had a family dog, but we never took it to such an excessive level. To my surprise, my dad started behaving the same bizarre way he would've eye rolled about in the past. I was absolutely flabbergasted and perplexed. Now I understand that it was just an act. I was witnessing a narcissist in action mirroring his victim during the love bombing phase to reel in his target. Everything makes sense now.
Huh... interesting.... is this where narcs get the idea to copy everything they can about someone, even trying to steal or emulate someone else entirely? My mom and all my narc sisters have done this to me, they'll steal ideas, things I say, learn to mirror my personality and looks, it's truly creepy. In this case it's my theory that they don't have much good on their own cuz they're like empty shells, so they find people that others like or admire to mirror them to find their act in order to deceive others that they're likable like that. But you just enlightened me further. Gosh I would want to alert that woman to RUN. It could very well be that she treats animals more like people because she had an abusive past to where she turned to animals for relationship and comfort to fill the void. And as we all know the likeliest target of a narc is someone who has trauma already. I would warn her if I were you.
Thank you for your recognition of the sentience of animals. It is too rare a belief. I don't consider animals to be pets. I never owned my cats. We shared our lives with each other.
I love that. That’s exactly how I feel.
You used the word “my” when referring to the cats which is a possessive pronoun indicating ownership. 🙄
@@princesspikachu3915people say the same thing about "their" children.
@@aaftiyoDkcdicurak Who cares?
It took 14 years of interaction/friendship with a narcissist to finally break free. It's been more than 5 years and I'm still trying to heal. Thank you so much for your insight and good advice.
So true!
The Narcisist wanted to have contole over the dog.
Picking her up and throwing her on the floor. Only because she barked. She was 6 months old then.
When I left the narc, I took my dog and my personal stuff with me.
He told everyone I stole the dog.
Outside the perfect dogwalker but inside awfull.
The dog, a labradoodle, felt the stress that was in the house.
She damaged her pillow several times.
When I left the house and the narc, she NEVER damaged anything ever.
She is 5 years old now. And a happy dog🙏 a clown entertaining us every day!!!
I know a lot of narcissists who got dogs for ATTENTION. And then back in the house they would neglect them.
Agree with you. It's not simple a disorder. It's a pure manifestazione on evil
My dog would Hide when my narcissistic husband would come home. I would ask him what was Going on he would deny . I hide cameras Caught him beating my dog . For absolutely no reason the dog was laying in his own bed , It’s was very upsetting
I had a mother and son cat pair. I’d had them about 14 years when I got married. I married a narcissist. She hated the cats, and showed absolutely no affection or desire to form a bond with them. Cats would walk on the counter tops. She demanded I put an end to this. I explained I had tried. Cats often times don’t follow their humans rules. So I had to spray them with water whenever they did this, which didn’t have any effect on the situation, as I knew it wouldn’t. She actually started demanding I give them to the pound. I loved these cats, and was upset my new wife would demand such a thing, knowing full well I was not willing, under circumstances, to get rid of these two cats, which I loved very much. Much to my dismay, I had two children with her, and had to watch treat our children in a similar manner, mainly in regards to neglect. The kids were always left with the grandmother, or myself. But hey, whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I filed for divorce when the kids were just one and six months of age. So sad.
Glad you could leave 💗
@@KatErina-ii6ru to make matters worse, my 22 year old daughter lives with her, and has a cat. The cat walks on the counter tops, and she doesn’t complain about it at all. 🤷🏼♂️
Good you got out and removed the children from the unhealthy dynamic
@@camellia8625 no, both children live with their mother. They have always complained about her, but she had the house, 60% custody and cousin for the kids. I had expectations (chores, be enrolled on athletic teams, and go hiking with me on weekends), whereas moms had they could do anything they wanted. No chores, no rules, not even a bedtime on week nights. So, of course, they favored their moms house. Mom had her mother living there to do all household chores. Mom just watched TV and went out on dates. It is what it is
Narcissists are always jelous and envious on others, even your pets and children ‼️🎯JazzyT.
I've never heard anyone else address this issue. My experiences with pets and a narcissist in my life were horrendous. So much so, that it was pushed away somewhere in my brain, and I suddenly remembered one day. Thank goodness I was seeing a therapist at the time. This evil man knew I loved animals and chose to hurt and kill them to hurt me. By the way, he died a slow and painful death at a young age.
My situation with my Narc was odd and I think it was because of my father. He loved animals dearly, and it was a part of my mother’s act to pretend she loved them, too. But the only animals she liked were as you said, the ones who clung to her. But there were moments that I hated her for how she treated some of our pets. My 12 year old cat got thrown outside to never be let in again when I left for college. The reason was because she was shedding 🙄. I saw the cat at Thanksgiving that year but she had disappeared by Xmas break a month later. She either died of loneliness or a predator got her. I will always bear a hate for my mother for doing that to her. Another time, I had found a Boston terrier running along the street, which such an animal is very expensive and I imagined someone would want it back. It was a really high-stress dog at first but started to chill out. Meanwhile I had an ad in the paper advising I’d found the dog. I came home two days later to find she had loaded up the dog and dumped it on the opposite side of town. Once my father died, she got to being more active in preventing us from taking in pets, and I think the absolute worst thing she did to animals was when a Manx cat showed up at our house pregnant. My brother and I wanted to bring her in so we could tame her kittens and give them away. NO. We had to make a place for her outside in a shed. And then the cat disappeared, likely taken by a fox, and then her kittens began disappearing, but still we couldn’t bring them in. The last kitten we found shivering in a tree and that’s when I put my foot down and brought him indoors. And between me and my brother, we kept him indoors for 17 awesome years. I think what I hated most about my Narc mom was the way she picked and chose which animals she would tolerate and to hell with the ones she didn’t. 😢
Your mother was a monster.
When we were growing up, we kids were not allowed pets, so it surprised me that my mother got an Alaskan husky, actually brought to her by her live in boyfriend. She was gushing about her affection for the dog, even let her have a litter. A couple years later, she callously had the pet put down, saying it was too much trouble to care for her.
My vet refuses to euthanize healthy animals and always finds good homes for them. He's a good man.
When I was a young child through my teen years my dad would beat literally punch and kick any and every dog we had if they had an accident in the house. They were puppies and just needed training. The sounds of their cries I can still remember. He told me that's what you had to do in order for them to learn. But what I observed is that those animals never respected him. They feared him and would keep their heads low everytime he would come around. That's exactly how he treated my mom and I. My mom and I reacted the same way the animals did.
My ex abandoned me, our daughter and our pet cat, Egypt and quietly left us without any explanation from CA for NY. He had no bond with us, and discarded us. This was such cold hearted cruelty and cowardly.
You don't know how much I appreciate you, Danish Bashir! I watch and read other narcissistic abuse videos, shorts, and their posts, but yours is the best.
I had to have my sweet little dog put down the day after I got out of the hospital, because spouse refused to give him his meds for the week I was in the hospital. He had congestive heart failure and he NEEDED his meds. He was barely able to walk when I came home.
I have NEVER hated anyone so much and I am trapped in this living hell with this demon.
We are not trapped. I'm where I am and you are where you are. But here we are connected. ❤️🩹💌 Just don't take it personally. It's hard to say, and do but it's how I'm healing. 💓
I am so very sorry to know your sweet dog passed away, because of your husband's neglect. God Bless his heart. Why are you still there? Get out of there. You deserve so much better than being with a demonic narc.
You are strong enough to get away. You just have to do some research and find an organisation to help you. I'm sending you a lot of sympathy and love. I hope you get away.
Please leave the relationship ❤
You need to leave.
What is physically stopping you from starting an out plan? It's a sincere question.
I was 'physically' trapped for the last 18 months with my demon. He shattered two vertebrae in my neck (my child and I were trying to leave him), then kept me on a mattress, drugged up for 12 months while the injury healed itself, my child was 8. It still took another 6 months after that to be able to fully construct and implement a plan .. always have a plan with small steps to work on secretly.
Narcissists hate animals because animals absolutely know and expose them. If your pet doesn’t trust them, neither should you.
In my experience with a narcissist, I noticed something different. No violence, no abuse, but very scary care. Kind of like a little girl playing with dolls. She puts dogs to sleep like babies and feeds them like people. I quickly ended this relationship, but not only because of this. Other much worse things happened.
Chameleon behaviour. He was acting because he holds no soul, so he thought that's how you wanted him to be. Over the top play acting. I'm glad you got out and your sanity retuned.
Leave them alone and let them be someone elses problem ‼️🎯JazzyT.
Some narcs treat their pets better than their own family, spouse & kids, my father was like that.
@@CJ-CANADAIt was a he
@@RonSafreedmaybe their family is shitty.. how can you be a narc if you treat an animal well? Doesn’t make sense
Such a great subject! My ex nac was very jealous of my cat ( I had my own place but spent most of my time over at her place ( thank god I never moved in with her like she wanted me to! ) Anyway, she really wanted me to get a kitten for her but there was no way that I ever would knowing how mean and cruel she could be. She even mentioned that if she ever got tired of it she would just throw it over the fence into the neigbors yard! Thanks for covering this topic...
I have a funny story.. My brother is a very sad gestalt and doesn’t like animals as far as I know.. Once he was feeding my cat when I was on holiday and she disappeared.. Luckily she came back home.. Anyways many years back we traveled to Italy by car.. We brought our cat with us. She had to pee. Guess where she did it? In his face! 😂 This still makes me laugh and makes up for a lot of shit he put me through..
Another thing to add is that narcs can also often love animals..but for the wrong reasons.. Pets love unconditionally and depend on their owner. That's basically a major supply for the narcissist who feels 'adored' by a creature so much. I know narcs who like animals in general.
Yep!! that was the way of my narc.father, he would cook greasy/fatty meats for the dogs we had over the years & enough to feed an army of dogs & the food would rot in the dog's dishes they were in!! Ohh the maggots & stink!! The dogs got more attention than his wife & we kids!!
Danish the woman I told you about had a black cat and this news scares me to death and i love animals been with the ASPCA since 2015 and it breaks my heart. I will try to find the poor black female cat. I love all animals and i would do anything to take it away from her. Even the cat has a negative name and its called Suicide now im gonna make it my mission to intervene on that little sweethearts behalf. Im so scared that i will lie to her just to take care of it and get it away from her. I will lie to get that little animal and i would call her Midnite Rendezvous. Thank you for being so thoroughly amazing!❤️💜💙💚💛
I have, HAD a self trained service dog for ptsd. Her training started at ten days old, following a training guide I could use to train her myself for this disorder, and my reactions to triggers. She responded to me at 3 months old, just 4 weeks after getting her, because I had physical contact with her for those first two important bonding months. She attended obedience classes for behaviour and socialization, in addition to her medical assistance. He took her from me when we split. Claiming rights to her because I could not walk her, she walks ME! She's easily excitable and she's not the perfect service dog, BUT she was perfection to ME. She knows when I need her. When I left, I disappeared, and took her baby brother pomeranian with me. My golden had a tough time in her last heat cycle, as it turned into a false pregnancy, belly enlarged, her stuffed toys became her babies, it was heartbreaking to know she was looking for real babies. After she was spayed, her little baby pomeranian became her "baby" and released her from that pregnancy she was "stuck" in. I think she plays with her pomeranian as if it's a stuffed squeak toy she can make "squeak". Her snout goes under the 10 lb body, lifts & launches the dog a foot away! They are a comedy team of 10 lbs Vs 80lbs in the arena! You know the noise maker of just 10 lbs is the alpha, it'taken him 2.5 years, but he's almost accomplished his task! Smart as a human being!
My parents severely neglected animals. The last one they had they would gang up against it and beat it up because it kept jumping the fence. And my dad loves to get new dogs just to treat them like crap. 😢
I agree with you, I don't agree with the disorder label too. I think narcs are just heartless & extremely selfish people. 😡
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Awww that's such an adorable kitty 😍
If a child tortures animals, that's the first sign of that the child is a Psychopath, Malignant Narcissists are called Narcopaths, they are mean and sadistic ‼️The Proffesor in Psychology Sam Vaknin, is diagnosed Malignant Narcissist, he has many videos about Narcissism ‼️🎯JazzyT.
All you say is true. My ex husband put my dog down without bringing him home from the vet. The man I got engaged to after that would complain about my dog and kick him form jealousy, He'd say 'why you go to the dog? why you not come to me?'. Thankfully I broke up with him but it was hard to get away. It takes years for the penny to drop - for me to understand what kind of person I was dealing with. Thank you for the message and information you are passing on to help others.
Dear Danish, I been watching your series on this subject. It fits my ex wife's personality down to the letter. Maybe not 100%, but very close.
We had to have a cat, and later a dog. She complained they didn't act how they should according to her logic. She developed a series of punishments for them. They would run and stay with me. That also made her angry and want to punish me. How can they like me more? She did put them on a pedestal mentally, but later treated them horribly.
Eventually I had to get rid of them because they were 💩 according to her.
The more I've heard from professionals like yourself as well as from studying narcissism for three years I just can't see it as a disorder either. I do however see that personality disorders exist such as B.P.D. As a matter of fact someone in my family has been diagnosed with B.P.D that likely developed having been abused by a narcissist for years.
On the subject of pets, I experienced a partner that would intentionally treat that animal better than me and display this distinct difference in front of me on purpose -- similar to when they talk to other people that they want somethings from in front of you.
Yes agree. Alienating you with either a pet or other person is how a Narcissist controls their target.