Catching Up with Ivy Part 3 | Carla Rockmore
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- Опубліковано 11 гру 2023
- Sometimes your kids can say scary things. The Rockmore household always found that the way to make them less scary is to talk about them together.
We have all compared ourselves to our peers at some point in life. I'm a fully cooked adult, and only in the past decade or so have I finally let go the pressure of trying to impress or keep up with others (Thank God lol).
Whether your kid is trans, cis, or non-binary, I imagine they all have similar anxiety in their freshman year. @ivyrockmore and I are hoping that these conversations somewhat help other families who are going through similar experiences. Our challenges are ours, but maybe these little college conversations make you feel not as alone with yours ❤️❤️❤️ - Навчання та стиль
I am an 82-year-old grandmother of a gay granddaughter. Like your daughter, she is beautiful, kind, and has a great personality. I love her so very much and respect her for standing strong in her decision to follow her heart. She is now 15 years old and has met her first girlfriend. I am so happy for her and look forward to meeting her girlfriend. My son and daughter-in-law, as well as all our family members, support my granddaughter so I know she will always be comfortable at home and at any family gatherings. My granddaughter attends a private Christian school that has an open, caring, respectful and understanding attitude to all the children attending. The students also hold the same attitude and accept that she has a girlfriend - the same as if she had a boyfriend. I only wish it could be this way for all who have their own unique way of choosing who they are and who they love. I thank both you and Ivy for having this beautiful discussion for the world to view in hopes of bringing a better understanding and support to those who are searching, be they parent or child. You are both awesome!
Your granddaughter is so, so lucky to have such a loving and supportive grandmother ❤️❤️ thank you for loving her and accepting her as she is
Thank you for your kind words - you are very sweet. But I feel that I am the lucky one to have my precious granddaughter.
@@lorettagillespie507 and that's exactly what makes you so wonderful ❤️✨
I'm so happy for both you and your granddaughter but I have to say I'm a little more happy for her because she has a whole family supporting her and that's huge! Take care and big hugs, k
Ivy has a huge advantage over other trans kids. She has you.❤
@@mcardnas2984she*
Aww♥️
It took me decades to figure out how to be happy, and the key was to stop trying to be what other people thought was important and to learn to like me as I am. Ivy, love your beautiful self and know you have something to offer that no one else can give. You are perfect as you are.
Ivy is an incredible human being. What an astonishingly wise person. She gets that from her mom, I think.
Aww thank you 💕💕
I was 65 before my college roommate told me how envious she was of my style in college. 🙀 She most coveted my British Walking Suit and my alligator pumps. I hated I didn’t dress like other girls ! Finally got over caring what others thought at 38. Buckle up, Ivy dear. Embrace your differences. ❤
Wowww!!!
Dearest Ivy, You are glorious! And YOU are precisely what the world needs. Stand in your space my dear and know that you are loved💜
Awwww💜💜 totally agree!
As mothers, really, your whole goal is to create a happy, well adjusted kid whatever that means these days. I know it’s hard, but Ivy is truly a remarkable child and you should be very proud of yourself Carla ❤️❤️
I just want to hug you
for being so strong
and sharing your weakness~
♥️❤️🩹❤️
So proud of her
@@CarlaRockmore1♥️
I love these call-from-college vlogs . Thx to both of you for being so open with us! 🙂🫶🏻
Carla and Ivy, you are both superb! In- and outside. The bond and love you share is precious. Carla you are an amazing mum. And Ivy… pretty, inteligent, mature… you are fantastic now, imagine in a few years!👏
So proud of her ❤️❤️ and so excited for what's to come!
Blessings to you both for sharing your lives with us!! You’re helping so many facing similar issues!! Hugs
That's the goal. Thanks for joining xoxo
She’s right Ivy!! It just takes time, and your brain isn’t even fully developed - you’re beautiful in every way & you’ve got this sister!! ❤
you're both doing amazing.. even if you feel like you aren't I'm here to say you're both being an inspiration to the rest of us!!!! THANK YOU!!!!
Thanks for joining xx
What a wonderful Mom you are! Be blessed 🙏
Ivy, from one girl to another: trust me when I say that the surface level stuff is not important. Your makeup for one, already looks amazing. Second, there is no one right way to be a girl. Like your mom said, you'll grow more confident in your own skin with time. You got this!
What exactly are you cheering on?
Hang in there 19 years is hard for everyone ❤
Such a tough age
@@mcardnas2984you don't decide others' truths for them, hush. Worry about your own life, and let others live theirs - without projecting your own ignorance and hate onto them.
As always, Ivy you look beautiful (that's no lie) so you don't need to worry on that front and for anything else....my suggestion would be to just go with the flow and try not to worry too much. Eventually you'll figure out that you've made it to a space where you feel comfortable being you without thinking about it or worrying about your biggest fears. Like I said before, I'm glad you've found your college "family" or at least parts of it, that you can rely on now because that will be important for support and you always have your mom and family back home to lean on, so I think you'll get through this with maybe a few little bumps but nothing that will cause permanent harm.
I wish for you the best college experience you can have, along with joy in living your life every day! If you can remember those things, you will be very popular and someone that people really want to be around... not just one they think they should.
Sending big hugs and hope that you have a wonderful holiday season, k
Good mom, I could not imagine going thru this raising three boys on my own without their dad being around. Way to go Carla, LOVE you Ivy 💗
You are the best mom ever Carla
I’m taking notes!
I appreciate that honey ♥️♥️
Listen to your mom. Comparaison and feeling critical of our selves is normal. ❤
I see the sadness and worry in the eyes of both of you. Ivy, I will continue to pray for your strength. You got this Beautiful!❤❤
Yes she does ❤️❤️❤️
Ivy, first and foremost, you're a human being. A beautiful unique human being. You deserve respect, autonomy and above all, love and to be HAPPY. Keep talking to your Mama, draw your strength from her and your other loved ones and keep going. You're doing great! Aww... she calls you Cookie, so sweet❣️
Trans has nothing to do with feeling good in your skin Ivy. That is a transition that happens for everyone. Listen to your Mom, she giving you great advice. We put too much emphasis on competition against each other now. As you grow up you realize your own comfort level within yourself. Be happy baby girl, it is all part of life.
Here is the problem Ivy was never a baby girl but she was a baby boy. Are you not hearing Ivy?
I have a grandkid Ivys age. She is just as confused and scared and worried about her future as you are. There is so much against kids these days. The world is smaller than ever. The hate is so evident. People sit behind a computer spouting the vilest things to the universe.
I dont know what the future holds, but historically it works out. Its hard, but it does.
I dont know many happy people. What do they look like? Find inner peace and let the rest mind its own business.
God bless.
Sending love 🤍
But... doesn't it take us girls YEARS to learn to be girls?!?! We're not born knowing. You're only a year and a half, give yourself time and also a lot of credit for getting so far my dear. Sending you much love and light, you are magnificent!
No, it doesn't. We, as real girls, are self-aware, but it takes us time to grow into women. We are not going around trying to hide the fact of our birth gender or force others to see us as girls. Because it is given as our biological birth right. It is as normal and natural as breathing. See the difference?
Another beautiful talk.
Thank you ❤️
You are the best, thank you, thank you, this made me weep.
Thanks for sharing guys.
Thank you for sharing.❤
And thank you for joining!💋
I’m not trans but I am autistic. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 34. I beat myself up so much that I was so different and didn’t fit in and didn’t know what was ‘wrong’ with me and why I couldn’t connect with other people very well. I forced myself to change my behaviours to be more ‘normal’ but it didn’t work well and it felt like I lost a piece of my soul trying. I had years of severe depression (being autistic wasn’t the sole reason but my differences fuelled my negative thoughts). Getting a diagnosis was a huge breakthrough for me and I felt much calmer knowing that I couldn’t help but be different and that was okay. I’m 47 and feel so much better in my skin and care a lot less about meeting the expectations of others. Knowing who you are is such a gift. As long as you are a kind person who treats others with respect, there is no further conforming necessary.
People can be cruel though. It’s natural to want to mask until you’ve sussed out a situation. And I understand with being trans in many spaces there is a safety aspect. It’s just really exhausting to be in that situation all the time, and it is important to find safe spaces and safe people you can be yourself around. I think society is changing for the better (there are unfortunately a lot of loud laggards) and is becoming much more accepting of diversity of all kinds.
Ivy, you and your mom are so lucky that you have each other. ❤
Yes we are🥰
Love these conversations. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
Thank you for joining!!
As you get older and continue discovering yourself, remember it's also okay to continue questioning your journey but always continue loving yourself, being honest to yourself and those around you while embracing your individuality. I always think of David Bowie when it comes to questions of gender fluidity and what he went through and always embraced his beautiful identity.
I just want to say to Ivy she is juat like so many other women in feeling that she has to dress or present in a certain way to match up to other women around her.
Many plus sized women, women with disabilities and women of colour can feel pressure to be hyper-feminised in how we present, so we aren't labelled as "unfeminine".
I can't even imagine the pressures on Ivy, but just want her to kno that so many other young women like her experience somewhat similar feelings.
Those societal pressures can be immense and I am so happy she can talk this through with you.
I’m not trans but I’m a feminine gay man and it took 4-5 years to feel confident and I’ll be honest it’s not about feeling like you fit in and more about noticing the smiles and ignoring the stairs 😊
I did not realize how much Ivy looks like her mom until now. She has Carla's lips, eyes, shape of her face, it all is Carla.
Go Ivy. You are owning it! This period will be the making of you and totally set you apart! Your ultimate strength will be the making of you.
What a wonderful relationship the 2 of you have! I've you don't need to worry about being the same as the other girls. Look at your Mother! She is beautiful and has taught you her secrets. If anything you are probably more knowledgeable the most of the other girls. And Carla what great advise you gave Ivey not only for Trans young ladies but straight ones as well. Hang in there kiddo you will be fine. And Carla you made me chuckle. I thought I was the only one you says "pink with purple poka dots". Lol!
Ivy, Ivy- I am an older cis woman, but have to tell you, I was SO trying to keep up with the other girls. You are beautiful and totally you!
this was a good chat, I am very moved and I appreciate you both sharing this! Happy Holidays to you and Ivy and the rest of the family!
Thank you, honey! Happy Holidays to you too✨❤
Ivy we love you ❤
Ivy thank you for talking about what you are going through. I know you and your mom are helping a lot of people. Just remember be you. Don’t try to be someone else.
Love to help others ❤
Ok, so I’m going to say I’m not on “your page” in the whole trans dept. however, I am a mom of 2 sons who back to back went to USF. They were both brilliant. The older one crashed and burned the 1st year. Home he came, re-evaluated his direction and commuted. I remember these late night calls and txts encouraging the same words, “ you’re just beginning your journey.” You too mom, will get through- sending embracing love to mom and child❤️❤️
Beautiful in all ways. Right On, Rockmores
I just love these updates. So nice. Thank you for sharing Ms. Carla and Ms. Ivy . ❤
Thank you for joining 💕
You have such a beautiful and honest relationship with Ivy! Thank you for sharing this 🤍
💕🤍
Ivy I promise when I went to college I was doing the same thing. I came from a country back ground and I promise whatever the difference is stands out most to us when we go somewhere new. Sending loads of love ❤
❤❤❤
Ivy GUUUUURL…stop comparing! I’m not Trans. I identify as a female (that’s how I was born- sorry but I don’t know how to say it in a politically correct way and I certainly wouldn’t want to upset or offend anyone) and I don’t even know how to put mascara on!!! Stop comparing makeup and clothes, etc. to others because it’s just futile. I know what it means to me to be a girl because I’ve had a lot of practice and overtime you will learn YOUR definition of girl- maybe that means being a perfect makeup artist or maybe you’re like me and it means you don’t even know how to put mascara on. My point is, you are now and you will be in the future, the girl you want to be and THAT’S good enough. Go, live an awesome life, and be well. Love y’all 🙂
Hi sweeties!!!❤
Listnen to your momma Ivy! ..
M♡M is 100% Right. ♡
Keep hangin in there kiddo..
Everything gonna be okay! ♡
LOTS of love and a big hugg!😘
XOXO❤❤
🖤✊🏾
Thank you. Fellow mom of a trans woman. ❤🌈🏳️🌈
Hi Ivy, I am the mum of a transgender man, I promise that you can be happy, you were given a hard road to navigate but it gives you perspective and compassion , it’s not fair and it’s not easy but you will find your people and you don’t have to worry about being a girl because you already are one, you have always been one and always will be xxxxxx ❤
Brava, Carla! You need to write the manual on functional parenting. 👏👏👏
Keep your head up, Ivy, listen to your mother and she'll always be the wind beneath your wings.
You’re a wonderful mom with an amazing strong daughter. What a beautiful bond. Such true words, Carla!❤
So sad that even in NYC a Trans-kid can't be comfortable. So sad for poor kids in FL, TX and the entire South etc.(and maybe rest of the country). A Mothers Heartbreak❤️
We luv Florida and the South...don't be sad for us.
Dear Ivy. First I want to validate your feelings and not dismiss them or minimize them in anyway. How you feel matters. Don't try to fit into any box. Be on apologetically uniquely YOU! it would be much easier if you just said to yourself. I was born a boy but I would like to express myself in my life's journey as a girl and if someone cant except your choice its there problem not yours. Think of yourself as lady boy not a trans. trans label is a lie and it means you are pretending to be something your not. Lady boy is more honest and it validates all parts of you. My concern for you is if you do not state that truth to people about yourself and they find out it will be hurtful to you and them. Biology is science that fact will never change but how you choose to express yourself and show up in this world as long as it makes you happy thats all that matters. Lady boy's are beautiful! xo
Thank you for sharing
this special parenthood 💝
Of course 💕❤️
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤love
Finding our way in life when we are young is really challenging. Growing pains. ❤ You are doing great, and you are going to be so successful in everything you do. Deep breaths, and one day at a time. ❤
What you are going through Ivy, all 19 year olds go through. I hope knowing this gives you more strength! ❤
❤
You have the wisdom and the better words that a loving mother could said 🙏
Bises
Xx
Ivy is so beautiful. She is 100% following with her mom’s fashion sense. But most importantly I hope is having an amazing time at school, finding her feet in college life. You both are not only just an inspiration to the trans community but also to other communities out there ❤ you guys and love all your updates.
❤❤❤
Hello ❤
Hi 💋♥️
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤️❤️❤️
Ivy enjoy the journey as you go. Find the joy in every step. Just know you are so strong and have such a great supportive family and that can empower you to be there for those who don’t have that in their lives. ❤🤗
Beautiful advice ❤
First...... Ivy you have the best Mommy ever ❤
And Ivy I'm super jealous of your gorgeous lips 😊
Also.. Ivy we all compare ourselves to EVERYONE else, and social Media has made that worse!
Just know we all need to find "us" and we need to be kind to ourselves!
I applaud you and your beautiful mother for sharing what is a very difficult journey for many young ones middle-aged and older ones who decide to be who they feel they are.... Thank you both ❤
Yes!! Social media is the worst for that... thank you, honey. Great advice!!!💕
Oh Carla, that was so beautiful, “ you don’t have to pass”. Just gave me chills/goosebumps. Ivy, listen to your beautiful and brilliant mother, she has truth pouring from her loving soul. And Ivy , you are lovely. Just be you and be happy. Life is too short not to be happy.
Thank you for sharing your story. Love and many blessings ❤
None of us knew who we were at your age. Through a lot of trial and error we figured it out, and you will, too. You are not alone, and have so many in your corner, cheering you on. 😊
Thank you for the kind words xx
Ivy I understand that there will be days that you will feel like you are a fake girl because deep down inside you will know that you are born a boy. Think of yourself as Unique and being exposed is a scary thing but as long as you get comftable in your own skin and are happy that becomes your truth. Be on apologetically yourself. XO
Ivy is so amazing, intelligent, and eloquent! ❤ You are so blessed to have such an amazing daughter.
Don't compete with others especially biological girls. You will never be happy.
Be you, in the context of you. Be an original and truest version of yourself whatever that means. Don't look for labels or fitting into a box. Again, you won't find happiness.
You are different. There's nothing wrong with that. Own it and move on with your journey through life.
Ivy looks like a mini you.
Ivy should have a long talk with Corinna Cohn. He would tell you that you are too young to do this. He transitioned at 19, he was really just gay. I can’t imagine your mother having an issue with you being gay. But I also would never have thought she would be on board with you being a lifetime medical patient.
Ivy please, never listen to sad and miserable comments🫶🏻