Mayim Tells Jokes! || Mayim Bialik
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- Опубліковано 20 лип 2016
- New vlog day yay! Today I'm doing what I supposedly do best...telling jokes I love the best! Whether or not they are funny, however, is up for debate. Am I LOL worthy?
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You may know me as Amy Farrah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory, or from Blossom, but hopefully, these videos allow you to get to know me better as Mayim, too! Subscribe to my channel for video updates. I upload new videos every Thursday!
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Find Mayim Bialik:
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Grok Nation
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About Mayim Bialik:
You might know me as Amy Farrah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory or from Blossom but there are so many other parts of me that you might not be aware of! I’m trained as a neuroscientist, I'm a passionate activist, an observant Jew, a perfectly imperfect mother, and I'm a complicated human being like many of you. This is the place where I wear all of those hats - and none of them have a flower on them! ;)
What I learned from this video: A bad joke is not too bad when the person telling it is so adorable.
what a cute adorable nerd filling my heart with czechoslovakia
You get in!
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Sounds like a Henny Youngman joke.
Mayim : "Tell me a joke!"
Sheldon : "Knock knock knock Amy! Knock knock knock Amy! Knock knock knock Amy!"
FANTASTIC.
Love the coal/diamond joke 😂
At least you know many jokes :)
I only know one joke...
Three vampires walk into a bar.
The first orders Blood.
Fine.
The second orders Extra large blood.
Great!
The third orders water.
The bar tender goes "Whata heck are you doing??"
The third vampire pulls out a tampon out of his pocket and says:
"What? Can't a vampire drink tea?"
:P
😂 good one!
Those are really bad jokes but they somehow made me laugh haha
They are more gentle, kid-friendly - not bad. - OK, the frog one was old, but....
This is my "go to" joke:
A duck walks into a pet store and the owner says, "Can I help you?".
The duck replies, "Yes. Do you have any duck food?" The owner says, "No" and the duck says, "Thank you" and leaves.
The next day, the same duck comes in and the owner asks him what he wants. The duck replies suavely, "Yes. Can you please point out the duck food area of your fine establishment"
The owner is a little annoyed, but he swallows it and simply replies, "As I told you, yesterday, we don't carry duck food" The duck thanks him and leaves.
Twenty-four hours later, the duck arrives at the store yet again. Before the owner can ask, the duck requests duck food. The owner sputters for a moment, then says in a steely voice, "I've told you three days in a row, I DON'T HAVE ANY DUCK FOOD. If you come back here again, asking for duck food, I will nail your webbed feet to my floor" The duck says, "Thank you!" and leaves.
Well, the very next day, who should walk into the same store but the same duck. The owner leans over the counter and looms over the duck. He says in a very threatening voice, "What the HELL do YOU want?"
The duck swallows and asks, "Do you have any nails?" This takes the owner off-guard and he can't talk for a moment. Finally, he does respond.
"No, I don't have any nails"
The duck replies, "Good. Then, do you have any duck food?"
I want my 20 seconds back... ♥
This is like the duck song
@@aubreeswart2206 that's what I thought xD
I loved it!
Love it! Really think more people should know about this channel!!
agree
BAZINGA !
Czechoslovakia! ♥
Greetings from Slovakia Mayim! Love you! :)
did you hear about two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and asks does this taste funny to you?
You are too funny Mayim, I have been a fan for such a long time. Loved you in Beaches and as Blossom growing up and am a huge Big bang theory fan. I think it is great that you have this you tube channel. Keep the videos coming.
Programmer's wife sends him to the grocery store. She tells him, "Get a loaf of bread, and while you're there get some eggs, too."
He never comes back.
(My husband is a programmer.)
kayper54 help. I don't get it.
This was better than any of those jokes
@@Keallei because it's a while loop. (While something is true -> keep doing it ) so... (While he is there = true ....... He keeps getting eggs but never stops because it's still true)
Neha Arefin thank you. I get the while now. I hope to learn to “code”.
Rene Descartes is in a bar and the bartender asks "do you want another beer?"
Descartes says, "I think, not," and promptly vanishes.
I laughed at most of them, specially the Heisenberg one. "I know where I am!" XD
Seeing and hearing Mayim
always makes my heart happy.
The best part of this video is you laughing at your own jokes! Love you, Mayim!!
Such wonderful nerdy jokes! I laughed so hard that tears ran down my legs! (Padum-Ching!!) lol!
Dear Dr. Bialik,
How do you spell "love?" Easy! M-A-Y-I-M . . .
Lol! 😂 All funny but that last one killed me.😂 And the Heisenberg uncertainty principle one was freakin genious! Hahaha 😂
Great video! Btw, I love your Amy doll (on the shelf) :D
Physics joke:
A Higgs field walks into a church.
Priest: What are you doing here?
Higgs field: Well, without me, you wouldn't have mass!
That's funny!! You rock, it's been a long time since I seriously laughed at jokes!!
Loved these! I already knew a few but they never get old! Have you heard the version of the Heisenberg joke where Schrodinger is riding shotgun?
Justin Letchford do u know how it goes?
I just discovered your channel!! Love you!
Okay, all these jokes are amazing but the last one really got me!
"It's a nick-nack-patty-wack, give the frog a lone. His ole man was a rolling stone."
I lost it. I absolutely lost it.
The joke of the programmer's wife reminded me of the jokes that teachers told during programming & logic classes
minute 01:38
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What did the fish say when it hit the cement wall? ...DAM!
That was great. Loved the Heaven one, the eggs and bread one. It's all about the delivery!
Love these, Mayim! You better do one with a Big Bang Theory cast member
The last one is best! 😂
That last one got me lol
Oh my gosh!! I love the last one, but I’d never heard it with the “his old man was a rolling stone” part! I’d always heard the frog’s name was Nick, and he pulled out a tiny figurine of himself and called it a nack, and she asked what’s that, and the frog said, “it’s a Nick nack, Patty Whack, give a frog a loan!”
that patty whack joke was amazing!
Best joke was the last one "I changed my mind, I'm a good joke teller".
That last joke had me 😂😂😂😂
Lol I clicked on this video expecting it to be about the Phycology behind jokes, and jokes that put people down, or something. But I would totally love to see a video like this.
your killing me HAHAH love the vlog!
was Waiting for this
do it weekly pls
Mayim you are so cool!! I have the same Czechoslovakia joke but with Schwarzenegger! Keep up with the good videos!
Oh good golly miss molly. The frog joke is a riot. I absolutely cannot stand it. You just made my day.
😂😂 I am here laughing like crazy!
Too funny and l love the variety
Lmao the diamond one actually makes me laugh a lot ^^
Can I please use these as my go to jokes?! They're amazing! 😂
I cracked up way too hard at that bread joke...:)
Really good zingers, if you understand Physics (which I do), though I was expecting the Heisenberg punchline to have something to do with the observer changing the experiment.
I really enjoyed your last joke- the punchline was cute and unexpected. Brava!
Tears I literally am in tears from laughing...oh my what a really delightful break from all of the horrible news going on lately. A million thanks and if you acquire more jokes and do another video..might I suggest a bit of processing time (3-5 seconds) between each one to allow the viewer to process a/k/a get the joke before moving on to another one. The turtle and of course, the last one are my favorites...may I share? Thanks Mayim
Love the rolling stone one!
That last one was really funny!
I laughed at all of your jokes! they are great!
Loved the pressure one, so bad it's funny
Yay just found you! Saw you on Chelsea and my spirit yearns for another mommy round table discussion...Mother Mayim ;)
Mayim! Im such a big fan!! Keep it up😬😍
The frog joke is one of my FAVES!
please do more! you make the jokes funny !!
oh the one with the diamond dad is hilarious! :D
Haha haha!
I love the last joke.
And the one about the family made out of coal.
And your turtle face! Haha!
These made me giggle. Thanks.
My english is very very poor, but its makes me feel very good I can understand most of her jokes (and they are funny, for me at least) :) You maded my day, thank you! :)
love them! I will probably be using the turtle one soon :)
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL that last one killed me XD
These were awesome
Thank you for the computer programer one.
Definitely going to use that. c:
The 'twelve loaves of bread' one is just...I need to sit down.
The diamond joke cracked me up. :-D
You are such an incredible and smart woman please talk more about topics like racism, equality, women rights, veganism, animal cruelty, things like that, please i would love to know your opinion because your religion video i found it amazing
"You're father has been under a lot of pressure" 😭😭😭😭😍😭😭😭😂😂😍😂😂😍🤣 amaze balls girl
My new favorite joke is the frog joke. LOL!
omg I'm crying because the frog at the bank has been a stand-by for me since I was 8 years old.
Bazinga!!!!!!!
would love to see more but as a dAy by day vlogger!!!!!
Haha! That last one was pretty good. =D
The St. Peter joke was great! hahahaha
I'm from Germany. I think I understood everything from that joke exept the last word the man said. Can you wright it to me.
Czechoslovakia
+Padawan And the joke is that he doesn't want his wife to come in heaven. So he gives her a difficult word?! Is that right?
Yes, that is the joke.
yes :) - He doesn't want her anywhere near him, but he'd not mind her being in heaven, I'm sure. :)
Omg. Just by the shirt I love you!!! 😂🤣😂🤣
You killed me with "No, but I know where I am." Damn you're better than Amy hahah.
I can't believe I laughed more than once during that. There were genuine tears in my eyes after the coal one... I don't know if they were from laughing so hard or because the joke was so bad!
Hahaha some of these are very funny!! And yes you're a great joke teller :D
OK, the frog joke was really good. I got an especially good laugh out of that one.
I wanted to give this TWO thumbs up: one for the quality jokes, and one for your great hair.
I love the diamond and Czechoslovakia jokes 🤣😂 Mayim, you're the greatest.
I laughed way too much at the second joke :))
omg Mayim this made my life I can't stop laughing! Thank you for sharing such amazing jokes
Great joke teller. Laughed til I cried
I got the diamond joke, the heaven joke, the bread joke and the recruit joke!😂😂😂
Good one to joke to end on! I don't even HAVE a go-to joke of my own.
The Heisenberg joke is a riot! :-D
loved it!
hahaha saving your video for the lolz
Brilliant ! Made me laugh a lot
Oh, Mayim Bialik... you warm my heart♡
love this
This was freaking hilarious!
That was awesome!
hahaha this made me smile!!
I LOVE the getting into heaven joke! That’s one even MY mommy brain can remember!
Dangit. Many of these actually had me laughing.
this is SO sweet omg
Why did the tomato blush? He saw the salad dessing....jajajaj
Loved it. The "nick-nack" was the hit.