Yes but the issue is this doesnt work on most of the people in this generation because all they do is go back to there old habits and its just a circle. Its hard to decide who is a true friend but finding them you really dont have these issues
Todoroki Shoto fALSEHOOD this applies to literally everybody. It’s completely natural and healthy to want the best for yourself and if someone calls you selfish for caring abt yourself, cut them out!! It’s not that you shouldn’t care abt yourself, it’s that they don’t care abt YOU.
That part “someone should never need you, they should want you” really stuck with me. I had a friend who i was relying on too much for my own personal projects and insecurities, and it wasn’t until we had too many differences the older we got that i realized they were pushing me away. I guess i was pushing them away too. I tried to keep us together as best I could but they couldn’t even pitch in and make the friendship work. I needed them but didn’t want them and they neither needed me nor wanted me anymore. I still do miss the actual friendship we had years prior but that quote has helped me let go
As someone who is often the "mum friend" or "therapist friend", I've found this video really helpful as it is reminding me to focus on my own ecosystem and start to work on setting boundaries! :) Thanks Jaiden!
This video has SINGLEHANDEDLY changed how I develop relationships with people. I genuinely didn't understand how to have healthy boundaries for years. "You are NOT personally responsible for anyone's happiness!" is SUCH. A. MANTRA.
Ok. That's a gray area. While you're responsible for making sure they grow up to be a happy, responsible, loving individual. You're not always responsible for their happiness(In other words. Don't make decisions that are already going to make them happy unless it's related to their needs(unless it's them being picky about things like food))
I didn't realize how common bad friendships / relationships were until I got here. I totally agree with you. People leave high school able to tell you the n'th term of a sequence but are never taught things as important as in this video.
@@capn Yeah that's the critical flaw with the US education system. It gets to a point where you don't really need to know this information. Toxic Relationships are extremely important to discuss, not the meaning in line 74 of The Odyssey. I remember that Terry Crews got backlash when he talked about his abuse because he looked strong. So there's no way he could've been abused. And as someone who suffered like him and am still coping with what happened. It's just disgusting schools don't teach this.
I agree. I’ve never been taught this stuff when I needed it and I’ve haven’t exactly been an angel in the past. If I learned how to make mature decisions back in grade school I would avoid so much tension with other classmates
The thing is, this isn’t just with friendships or partners, it’s family also sometimes. I know a lot of people that never thought about it. Personally I experienced a horrible relationship with my father until I inevitably cut him out of my life, and just wanted to put this out there for everyone
Same here with my grandma, I cut her off years ago, but have only recently realized how abusive she was towards me. This video has honestly saved my life in a weird way.
It's crazy cause I'm going through this right now, but it's like, they're our parents. They've technically done everything for us and personally I feel wrong for disrespecting them. Idk if I'm being an asshole for disrespecting them or not giving myself enough credit and need to be my own. I should go to a therapist huh
Great video. After a major breakup I feel like this video is what happened to me exactly and I just figured it out myself by communicating it to all the people I love.
It's good that you gave up on manipulative relationship. You get the benefit of breaking up from manipulative, it doesn't matter if (who manipulated you) don't get benefit from breaking up with you, because he manipulated you. Sorry if my text is messed up, i'm not super good at talking complicated stuff.
@@GalopaWXY And I think this person is bot because they have a new account and there's no way they'd naturally get 3.2k likes in 3 hours (on an older video).
I wish mine did, we had this exact same talk but longer and more confusing so playing this video would have saved multiple weeks worth of thought and agony.
"Someone shouldn't ever NEED you. They should WANT you". Rewatching this video makes me realize that I did well on my relationships and I also found people who do well thank you jaiden for explaining this word for word I absolutley can't so yeah thanks.
As someone who is battling depression and anxiety, I wonder how I come off to others. I just got back in touch with some old high school friends, they don't know what I'm going through because I haven't told them, but I catch myself oversharing certain things and being overally emotional. Honestly, reconnecting with them has helped me take my first steps to take charge of my life by going back to school, but I have to learn not to text them so much when I'm feeling down. I feel like it's kind of selfish, but I just get so damn lonely sometimes. I just hope I'm not being an emotional vampire.
You might be. But something important to note I think is that getting on people's nerves now and then isn't the end of the world and we all do it. It's all about the give and take, the understanding through clear communication and the apology. Like even under far less heavy circumstances, if someone just had something stressful happen to them, they're like to take that energy into their next conversation and make it unfun for the person they had it with. Does that mean they're a bad person that can't regulate their emotions or is that just normal and we're not machines? Don't be overbearing, of course, but simultaneously, don't think you have to a perfect conduit of good vibes to everyone, that's unrealistic.
Fool no matter what we do someone will get hurt or offended. You cut off a toxic relationship you change and forget what’s bad and good but nothing is really bad or good meaning nothing is good for yourself or for others around you everything is wrong but it won’t every matter in the end.
The Period of Pringel it may not matter to you but others it will it might changes people as they will learn from that experience they might enjoy it and may be, be a better person from learning from that experience, and you’re kinda saying this as if you’re edgy or depressed saying stuff like nothing would matter in the end, but yes nothing will matter in the end but if you keep thinking of this you’ll never try any thing as you’re going to just say it won’t even matter
The Period of Pringel, yes. Someone always get hurt or offended but she is not a fool because someone might be having a tough time in her life and this might’ve helped them because they are in a relationship that’s manipulative, not in a relationship that’s manipulative with Ellamae, but still a manipulative one with someone else. And like you said “it won’t matter in the end.” What if the vid completely changes someone’s life from a bad to a good life because they saw that video and ended a friendship that was unhealthy. THAT would change the end.
“Don’t tolerate any pollution, you are the one who has to live in it, and you deserve clean air.” -Jaiden Animations What a great quote honestly. (Fixed my comment)
rewatching this after having gotten out of a toxic relationship is so eye-opening. I was being manipulated and bullied for so long, and I didnt even realize it I would blame myself constantly, because I always felt like it was my fault. but, finally ending things off was the best decision, it did sting, but I wasnt myself anymore and I had lost so many friends in the process. being in a toxic relationship is extremely difficult, especially when you feel like there's no one to turn to and you feel trapped. but, just remember youre your own person, no one should ever control your life and the things that you do
I know I’m two years late and this probably won’t be seen, but I just wanna say I’m glad this video exists, it helped me realize that I needed to cut someone who I had known for three years out of my life, it’s been 8 months without them now and things are still troubling sometimes, but I hope I’ll be better
Im glad it helped you too…i had a emotionally manipulative boyfriend, it was hard to break up with him, it took me months to get the courage, I still feel like it was weak of me to break up online. It’s much better than being stuck with him. This topic is really sensitive for me, and Im glad my comfort UA-camr gave this advice.:) Wish you all the best , friend!^^
I've had a close best friend for around 8ish years now and this video has made me realize he's been a pretty huge jerk recently. I'm gonna talk to him abt it and if it fixes then good, if not then welp
I actually really like how Jaiden is letting us know that we can’t sugarcoat everything and that some relationships just can’t be fixed if they treat you like doo doo.
Yeah, I had a friend that I hadn’t talked to for months or a year because they were toxic and I found better people, I saw them at Target a couple months ago and we tried to hang out the next day and she wouldn’t use my correct name or pronouns, so I walked home for two hours with two backpacks full of art supplies that I brought.
I’d just like to say that therapists have the job of helping people and/or giving them the professional social/emotional help they need. Therapists are responsible for helping people to change into being the better version of themselves’ in order to make their life more enjoyable, but, therapists do not control the people they see. If their visitors refuse the advice they are given and decide to be so incompetent that they block out any useful information towards a better path to the future, the therapist is not responsible. (Y’all probably know this, I just wanted to comment it)
i’ve always had a strong relationship with this video. about 5 years ago I had a bunch of friends that really sucked and I just keep rewatching this to feel better about not talking to them anymore. Now, someone who I was very good friends with has stopped talking to me due to my mental health not being great and her trying to get better. And now I’m back watching this. It’s yet again comforting. It’s so good hearing somebody say “You are not responsible for anyone’s personal happiness” Even though it sucks for me i’m so glad that my former friend is actively trying to get better, even if that means i’m not a part of it. This is always something I watch in times where one way or another I need to grow or change as a person.
I recently just ended a really toxic relationship. I've been a Jaiden fan for years but I found myself coming to this video a week before my break up and it helped assure me that I was doing the right thing. Because of the wisdom and advice in this video, I was able to get my happiness back and get back to enjoying life. Thank you Jaiden.
Congrats Bepsiman, I’ve been there but with a “friend” I had for almost 7 years. The guy was gaslighting me, just made me feel guilty for doing simple mistakes and was bossy to me. What’s worse is that because of what he does, we talked almost everyday and it socially drained me. After I blocked him my mom asked what happened and we talked about it. All I could say she’s got a point, he wasn’t being a friend he was being a Chad like in the scenario Jaiden gave. And if it wasn’t for my friends and sister who saw me cry for the 3rd time, I wouldn’t be here leaving a comment on this video
I feel awful seeing all these comments talking about their abusive relationships. I had a toxic relationship, too. I had to leave. But my partner was actually one of the sweetest people i’ve ever met, it wasn’t them who was toxic. I was the toxic one. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to hurt him so much, but leaving was the right thing to do for him.
I had a super toxic friend. We used to always fall out and he would always find i way to lay the blame on me, making me feel like it was my fault we were in this shithole of a situation to begin with. What i didn't know, is that we fell out because he didn't agree with what i did. He didn't like what i did so that made it a problem. This is a brief rundown of what happened. Me: 'Hey i'm going to go hang out with (insert random friend name here) today!' Him: 'So you're just going to leave me alone? What the hell is wrong with you. I thought we were close friends. You always treat me like shit!' You see where i'm coming from?
Ifkr! The idea of love they project is really toxic if you ask me (I know you didn't but still) It's just that the whole "I'll die without you" facade is really shitty.
100% AGREED. You should NOT need anyone to survive, unless there is a valid reason to require help from another individual. (I.e caretakers). YOU SHOULD NOT USE OTHERS AS A TOOL FOR YOUR SURVIVAL. This idea is toxic asf and annoying to hear about for the millionth time. (Sorry this kinda became a rant)
Jaiden, I know you’re probably not going to see this comment, but if you do, I wanted to say thank you so much for this post. I had a friend a while back, and we were friends for almost 7 years, but over time I noticed their behavior towards other people, the things they would say, and their general attitude towards others was beginning to become a problem. It was hard for me to tell if I was being over dramatic and couldn’t really tell what was going on. This advice helped me a lot and when it got to the point this person talked bad about me and my other friends, I knew it was time to cut it off. That was a while ago, but I revisit this video every now and then and I am so grateful for this advice. Thank you ❤️
I love the metaphor “you have an ecosystem and it’s your responsibility to maintain it”. It’s so true and I thank Jaiden for reminding us not to deal with toxic people and just remove them from our lives
When I first wacthed this 5 years ago I was in a toxic relationship but didn’t want to admit it. I would think about this video a lot and finally found the confidence to cut off that toxic person. Now I’m way better at recognizing toxic people in my life. Great vid thx Jaiden
Im so proud of myself that i identified someone being toxic to me. He legit uses fake depression so id stay with him, he threatened my only genuine best friend of 3 years, invaded my privacy, convinced me to give him a lot of money because im the "rich" one in our group and not paying for stuff he owes. He was so nice to everyone and me at first, but as soon as he said "oh you should just leave me and go back to your bestfriend, no one loves me anyway and tell our group goodbye, cause ill be dead tmr." It just hit me. This guy is toxic. I even had a dream later that night warning me about manipulation. I was bewildered like woah my dream just did that. I havent confronted him yet, im just ignoring him atm.
Im proud you have spotted that toxic person in your life, and i really do hope the confrontation happens goes smoothly. You've dodge a bullet by noticing the toxic person 👍💕
Good for you. People like that are not the best people like... ever! I'm very happy that you realized this. I hope you meet someone who is better than toxic human beings
" Who's gonna watch your ecosystem? No one, because that's your responsibility." That really hit me...I should pay more attention to my own ecosystem...
Yea it also hit me! I couldn't explain this better because I learned it the really hard way last november.. Took too much junk from others and you eco breaks, like shatters. This video may be the best warning you could give someone!
I watched this video years ago when I was in a very toxic and emotionally abusive relationship and I guess I missed the point because I watched it and was like "That was a great video! Definitely doesn't remind me of anything!" and now watching it again 9 months after I left that relationship I really really wished I had shown this to that person since I was always to scared to verbalize my feelings to them, not only that but this video has made me realize that I myself am not always super nice and I have problems to work on lol, So thank you Jaiden, this was very educational and helpful.
"Someone shouldn't ever need you. They should want you." I've heard this before, but I've also heard "humans are social animals," and "loneliness kills." What's the appropriate balance between needing people and needing a person?
Well I think of it like this, you should enjoy the company and want it. Needing happiness and relationships such as friendship or companionship. But not constantly feeling the NEED for them to be with you or the ultimate source for your individual happiness.
Most people need meaningful interaction with other people for a happy and fulfilled life. This is not the same as "needing" *you*. To be fair, as a relationship develops, it's natural for a certain level of interdependence to develop. You raise children, you pay a mortgage, etc. This isn't really what is being discussed either though. It's more discussing an unhealthy dynamic that can occasionally emerges where one person will guilt the other person into staying in the relationship by insisting that without their partner, something bad would happen. And since the partner cares about the well-being of them, the partner stays. But it's really manipulative and ultimately self-defeating.
For me, I immediately get nervous when someone says that I'm the only thing that makes them truly happy. That's need as opposed to want. When someone says that they enjoy hanging out with me, that's great! I love that.
you shouldn’t *need* one specific person 24/7, you need people around you but you should be able to be with different people and be able to go an evening without talking to anyone
The hardest part of the discussion is that we often talk about how to see this behavior in others, but never how to identify it in ourselves. Instead, we are all given the impression that we're fine and it's OTHER people who are the problem.
self awareness is a crucial skill in building healthy relationships: that's why it's important to have good friends over the course of life that are not afraid of calling out your bullshit and thus help you build it to a level where you can trust in some capacity that you're not lying to yourself or painting things with TOO much bias (it's essentially impossible to not do this in some capacity) but obviously not everyone is that lucky or has the right skill set/ courage to do so. Empathy as well I feel can be incredibly useful in helping discern the situation but as the video pointed out: if you're constantly making excuses for why someone is treating you a certain way or defending their choice of actions to people you know love you and also know them, it's probably a red flag.
@Nick Dahl agreed. In high school I always blamed everyone else. But eventually I realized I was often the problem. You can't expect people with negative traits to improve if we don't encourage everyone to reflect. We all have something we can change for the better
I feel like everyone talks about how "do this or I will hurt you" is toxic, but never how "do this or I will hurt myself" is JUST AS TOXIC. It's usually excused because of what the person is going through (as someone who's had self-harmful thoughts and behaviors myself), so you "can't be mad at them because they are doing worse than you are, try to be more understanding and emphatetic". Thank you Jaiden, everything in this vid was simply but effectively explained:)
Two years ago I watched this video and it made me realise i was a part of a REALLY toxic friendship. It was one of those “but she’s really depressed and su1c1d@l i don’t want anything to happen to her!” Friendships where I end up being forced to carry the burdens of my friend to the point that they aren’t getting any better, but I’m getting worse. It pulled me into a really dark place but this video smacked some sense into me and I ended the friendship. Now I can say I’m really truly happy.
"Ppl shouldn't NEED you, they should WANT you" "Take care of your ecossystem" Are really things I need to take more care of. I had a tendency of depending a lot on previous partners, as if they were the only ones I could be happy with, and set aside hobbies. But I'm the one responsible for my happiness and well-being, so I'm trying to take more care of, get to know myself, heal from past traumas and all. It's a process.
@@edgarvasquez-santana9679 Something I have been dreading to do is writing about those things. Just because I know it's helpful, doesn't mean it is easy. But one step at a time, thoughts come and go. And in some trauma, we may even forget some things happened due to the brain protecting us from that memory - stored and untouchable, could be hard to understand why we do what we do. Going back to old hobbies or finding new ones. Experimenting life, really. There are so many things to explore that may spark interest!
I was in a toxic relationship where we've talked for almost a year, and whenever they made me feel like trash, I made the excuse of "they're having a bad day" or "they're probably in a bad mood" and always ranted to me and fr said "you don't even care do you" and "this is what they always do, listen to my cry baby story and leave me on read" and I wasn't in the best mental state at the time too, and they always blew up over the smallest things and then ignored it like it never happened. And when I did end up blocking them out of my life, I felt like I did sometime wrong and that maybe they would hurt themselves but thankfully I had true friends that reassured me that they needed to get out if my life, and thankfully I'm in a much better friendship with much better people now :]
I am legit in that situation rn but I think I realized I should just stop doing anything with them I didn’t cut em off I just didn’t talk to them a whole lot they were nice people tbh but they made me feel like an outcast and a weirdo sometimes and it kinda made me feel like shit and after a while I started becoming this a hole to a friend who I kept telling my problems all the time until I realized how toxic I was being so I kinda just stopped everything changed myself up and made my self into a better person I can be. As of right now I am still at that process of like rejuvenating and be a better person but I am glad I can at least understand myself to the situation I was in really fast.
I was in the same area always saying to my self “they have anger issues” or “they are just not feeling good” or “I’m they reason their like this” never good to have to say the I go like that to reassure your actions
Pretty sure they're gardening supply shops. They give you the tools to learn how to maintain your ecosystem and improve or change it in a simple but non damaging way. And YOU decide to listen to their advice and follow their instructions.
I have sent this video to two of my friends when they were in toxic relationships, and used the eight points you listed out around eight minutes and thirty seconds in to help them figure things out. Thank you SO much.
I like the pile example because it symbolizes that it's perfectly fine to help them out a bit with what you can without neglecting your own mental health but it's important to set boundaries about how much you can handle helping with
“The abused become the abuser” is what I’ve heard for so long, and that sentence is why I’m always so paranoid about what I say to people and how I act, one minute I’ll be nice and the next I’ll talk about you like it’s nothing I have a really bad habit of telling people what they wanna hear instead of saying what I truly feel and I think that’s the course of all my bad actions, I really wanna try and be a better person and I hope I can! Thank you Jaiden your video really helped!
@@TheEllod yeah all quotes are wrong but this statement is not wrong. yeah you shouldn't overgeneralize things but if you IGNORE this fact. you can become pretty abusive in nature. and it is not true for every situation.
This really helped me because I was in a toxic relationship and they where threatening to hurt then self is I ever broke up with them. But this showed that I don’t have to be controlled by other people. I know that u won’t see this but I just wanted to say thank you
I hate people that hurt others just to get attention. It hurts me and I've never even been in a relationship like that! It's just terrible that things like that happen.
This, years later, may of helped me shed light on a certain toxic friendship of mine. If she pulls anymore crap, my friend group decided to have a discussion with her, and this video actually really helped. Thanks, Jaiden.
Damm, my girlfriend broke up with me a month ago.. this video is making me realize why.. I was toxic man.. I honestly didn't mean to be though. Was completely oblivious to it. I passively guilt trip her, was so insecure, had trust issues. Not to the extent of being like if you leave me I'ma kill myself type of deal, but I was definitely clingy cause of my insecurities. And not giving her space. Wish we could have sorted it out, I really loved her and still do.. but na, she is straight up done with me, scared of me.. especially since post break up I made things worse by begging, pleading, and all of that.. I really dug myself in a deep hole. But all I can really do now is learn from it. Learn from the experience, and work on improving myself.
Agreed, this is legitimately helpful with relationships. Though I do feel some bits should be fleshed out, for instance gas lighting. It was brought up but wasn’t expanded upon, and its a term people love to throw out without any idea what it means.
This video helped me realize that I was the toxic person in a relationship. We were too far into problems (that I caused) for the friendship to be repaired, and they needed to cut me out of their lives, but after a lot of reflection (and therapy), I’ve been able to form some awesome relationships. Thank you for making this video.
I've been the toxic person too. I've gone to so much therapy and now I'm a lot more conscious of my emotions and behaviors so I don't go back to that. It's hard. I'm glad to find someone else who's gone through that change.
This video made me realise a bunch of new things about a relationship I had about half year ago. I thought that she was very manipulative to me and didn't care about me, but faked caring about me, and while that is slightly true, this made me realise that I was being quite manipulative as well. I was and still am not in the best metal state and I always 'used' her to try and make me feel better, I felt bad about doing this but she said herself that I could do it, but it got to the point where she was giving, me actually good advice and I just wasn't taking it and just continued asking her for help about the same things over and over again. She never asked me to try and help her with her mental health even though she struggled quite a bit as well. It was going fine for the first 3-4 Months but after that it was just going downhill, it made me feel worse hanging out with her all the time but I kept going trying to relive the happy memories that I experienced all those months ago, until it was her birthday, we were in a bigger friend group together and she invited all of them behind my back to her house and party and have a sleepover and left me out of it. Even before that I talked about it and she said she was going out with her family out somewhere and agreed with me that I could go to give her a present just a couple minutes before everyone else came. I was outside her house too scared to knock on the door for whatever reason which was a MASSIVE sign that we weren't meant to be friends, after I plucked up the courage 30 minutes later and many weird looks from neighbours I went in and gave her the present, we talked, hugged and all that, but she was really eager for me to go, I assumed it was because she was going out but then she invited the rest of out friends round and left me out, completely lying to my face. I was done after this and I didn't talk to her again, it was a hard separation, but a separation I needed. She didn't even care though, she didn't try to talk with me either and was just very noticeable that she didn't care for me and I was latched on unhealthily. Its been 6 months now and the consequences of it still haunt me to this day, I didn't get into much or rather anything about it except for that but I always though she was just manipulating me for her own will, when in reality, I played a part as well. I feel quite bad about the situation now as she was probably fed up with me lumping my load onto hers, so it made sense for her to try and distance but was just not right for me and our poor communication TL;DR i had a friend and i thought she was the only manipulator but turns out we both were thanks to this video
A good phrase the internet taught me is: "You don't have to light yourself on fire, just to keep others warm."
Man, that helped me a lot.
Woah that's a good one. I've never heard it before
@@Faith-zt3pq i heard that one too
Thanks
Thx boiiii
this is accurated
"You're not responsible for someone else's happiness."
This is a truth that's really hard to learn but very important to accept.
I'd love to print it and put in my forehead, so that MAYBE that one specific person would finally get it.
@singularling
It's harder when you lived a life where making others happy is practically survival and just an instinct.
Edit: grammar mistake.
"but i'm santa clause"
I cant stop myself from doing this yet lol. I need to go to a rage room XD
@@elanorpuppydoggowoofles2147 omg so right, I didn't know how to put it into words lol
“you are NOT responsible for anyone’s happiness!!”
this single line is actually helping me so much holy crap, thank you so much jaiden.
*Parents*
The only happiness you are responsible for are your own and your imagination
But you are responsible for your own happiness
Except don't live by it TOO much or you'll become selfish
@@simonleva3805 There is a difference between not being responsible and not doing sh*t for anyone’s well-being I guess
"do you feel like you're walking on eggshells around them?" has carried me so far in knowing what relationships are harmful to me
Facts
It just gets difficult when you wonder if you’re the one dropping the eggshells- even if it’s entirely not the case.
I love how serious the topic is and how she adds humor without messing up the main topic!!
Yes but the issue is this doesnt work on most of the people in this generation because all they do is go back to there old habits and its just a circle. Its hard to decide who is a true friend but finding them you really dont have these issues
Yes, it's amazing the way she talks about it.
Remember that this pretty much applies to friendships or familial relationships as well! Jaiden did a wonderful job making this lovely video.
Hey you are aro ace aren't u watch jaiden 's latest video
@@davuluri4395 I know:). Thanks anyways. Cool video right? A lot of bot hate spam though.
i like your pfp :)
@@riversbend9783 I like yours too♡
Jaiden is good making all vids
*”It’s not selfish to want the best for yourself”*
I really really need to learn that. Tysm Jaiden (and Katie!)
For me it is
Todoroki Shoto fALSEHOOD this applies to literally everybody. It’s completely natural and healthy to want the best for yourself and if someone calls you selfish for caring abt yourself, cut them out!! It’s not that you shouldn’t care abt yourself, it’s that they don’t care abt YOU.
I agree
i liked this now it has 666 likes. I will unlike it to keep it holy but know i like this comment uwu
It is selfish, but who said selfishness is evil?
I remember when this first came out. Its crazy all these years later this advice still stands true, absolutely timeless perspective and counsel.
same here. i really needed to rewatch this today. it has amazing advice 3
That part “someone should never need you, they should want you” really stuck with me. I had a friend who i was relying on too much for my own personal projects and insecurities, and it wasn’t until we had too many differences the older we got that i realized they were pushing me away. I guess i was pushing them away too. I tried to keep us together as best I could but they couldn’t even pitch in and make the friendship work. I needed them but didn’t want them and they neither needed me nor wanted me anymore. I still do miss the actual friendship we had years prior but that quote has helped me let go
I feel you :(
yuh
Sad D:
As someone who is often the "mum friend" or "therapist friend", I've found this video really helpful as it is reminding me to focus on my own ecosystem and start to work on setting boundaries! :) Thanks Jaiden!
Im the therapist friend lol
Therapist friend here too 🖐️
Yes. I just recently figured out that I might have codependency issues and I this video is so straight to the point and easily digestible.
✋🏼
same here hah
Honestly that analogy of ur mind being ur own ecosystem made things clearer for me, so thanks Jaiden
This video has SINGLEHANDEDLY changed how I develop relationships with people. I genuinely didn't understand how to have healthy boundaries for years. "You are NOT personally responsible for anyone's happiness!" is SUCH. A. MANTRA.
“you are NOT responsible for anybody’s happiness”
Me: But they’re my children
Bruh
Well... that's the only case, it's your responsability, I guess? But there's a fine line in being responsible and being a helicopter.
@@suravinayan2753 When the child is yours? sure.
Ok gray area
Ok. That's a gray area. While you're responsible for making sure they grow up to be a happy, responsible, loving individual. You're not always responsible for their happiness(In other words. Don't make decisions that are already going to make them happy unless it's related to their needs(unless it's them being picky about things like food))
This video needs to be shown in schools. As someone who was in an awful verbally abusive friend group. This video is amazing! 10/10 on Yelp
I didn't realize how common bad friendships / relationships were until I got here. I totally agree with you. People leave high school able to tell you the n'th term of a sequence but are never taught things as important as in this video.
@@capn Yeah that's the critical flaw with the US education system. It gets to a point where you don't really need to know this information. Toxic Relationships are extremely important to discuss, not the meaning in line 74 of The Odyssey. I remember that Terry Crews got backlash when he talked about his abuse because he looked strong. So there's no way he could've been abused. And as someone who suffered like him and am still coping with what happened. It's just disgusting schools don't teach this.
I agree. I’ve never been taught this stuff when I needed it and I’ve haven’t exactly been an angel in the past. If I learned how to make mature decisions back in grade school I would avoid so much tension with other classmates
This video should go right along with THE TALK. It’s just as important to learn how to deal with other people.
“Someone shouldn’t ever need you, they should want you” I felt that
Except with kids. Mostly your kids.
Haha, that reply made me laugh.
One problem no one wants me
The thing is, this isn’t just with friendships or partners, it’s family also sometimes. I know a lot of people that never thought about it. Personally I experienced a horrible relationship with my father until I inevitably cut him out of my life, and just wanted to put this out there for everyone
I can relate to this. I can't wait to cut mine out of my life too. Good on you
Same here with my grandma, I cut her off years ago, but have only recently realized how abusive she was towards me. This video has honestly saved my life in a weird way.
Yup, easing him out of my life rn. It really is amazing what cutting out toxic people can do.
It's crazy cause I'm going through this right now, but it's like, they're our parents. They've technically done everything for us and personally I feel wrong for disrespecting them. Idk if I'm being an asshole for disrespecting them or not giving myself enough credit and need to be my own. I should go to a therapist huh
The ecosystem analogy helped a lot I mean it hel0ed the unhealthy ways I were in relationships
"You are not responsible for anyone's happiness"
I really needed someone to tell me that
Same! And I love how it was repeated after the justification attempts.
Yep
lol hi PaRappa
Me too. For a long time I've been trying to make people happy but I didn't realize it was making me sad.
Nice profile picture. I was wondering if you'd wanna be friends?
Great video. After a major breakup I feel like this video is what happened to me exactly and I just figured it out myself by communicating it to all the people I love.
It's good that you gave up on manipulative relationship. You get the benefit of breaking up from manipulative, it doesn't matter if (who manipulated you) don't get benefit from breaking up with you, because he manipulated you. Sorry if my text is messed up, i'm not super good at talking complicated stuff.
Yeah... just went through a break up. It was bad.
@ajay che I found out a few days ago my two exes were dating-
Sane bro same
Me too
“When you do the kisses with someone” Cutest phrase ever
JKH133 Yep.
haha yA
SHIP
Ship you and yo doggie
Wow
find Partner from Dreams by Bruce Thornwood (thank me later)
How do you have 3.2k likes in 3 hours on a 4 year old video?
@@justanotherweirdo11 Well I'm watching it for the first time right now
@@GalopaWXY I was not responding to you??
@@GalopaWXY And I think this person is bot because they have a new account and there's no way they'd naturally get 3.2k likes in 3 hours (on an older video).
@@justanotherweirdo11These bots are getting insane. Thanks for letting us know
My health teacher played this in class, best teacher ever
:0
i want that teacher.
I wish mine did, we had this exact same talk but longer and more confusing so playing this video would have saved multiple weeks worth of thought and agony.
Yasss
wait your a lamp?
well you better be careful of moth then-
Jaiden really out here advocating for everyone to be their own Lorax
speak for your own trees
Yessss!!!
i am the Lorax i speak for the trees,if you polute eviction notice to thee
I am the Clorox, and I speak for the Bleach.
I am the lorax, I speak for the trees. Litter again, I'll break your knees.
Jaiden: talks about relationships
James: talks about his dead moth
And yet, which one of them is more successful?
They're both awesome tho.
JustAHamsterOwner Oof he said *more*
@@nuggetthehamster7072 they can't both be *more* successful.
@@nuggetthehamster7072 i agree with you my friend.
@@nuggetthehamster7072 also agree
Jaiden's channel gives me a breath of fresh air, a cousin I don't see often but always have a blast when they're around
amen
"Someone shouldn't ever NEED you. They should WANT you". Rewatching this video makes me realize that I did well on my relationships and I also found people who do well thank you jaiden for explaining this word for word I absolutley can't so yeah thanks.
I saw something once that said: “When you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, the red flags just look like normal flags.”
quote from Bojack Horseman
Hahahahha
*My glasses are pink*
Wha
Every 60 seconds a minuet passes in Africa.
how does that mean anything
/im14andthisisdeep
I love how Jaiden’s channel is a mix of stupid funny life stories and just really deep topics like how to deal with emotions
“You should care about yourself more!”
Vs
“I ATE SO MANY GREEN BREANS I-“
Yes the perfect balance 🌟
The girl who said"im gonna be super muniplitive today"looked like one of the villians for my hero accedmi anyone else notice that?
@@xxvioletcookiexx1668 She looked like toga to me at least
It’s also filled with beautiful animation ✨
As someone who is battling depression and anxiety, I wonder how I come off to others. I just got back in touch with some old high school friends, they don't know what I'm going through because I haven't told them, but I catch myself oversharing certain things and being overally emotional. Honestly, reconnecting with them has helped me take my first steps to take charge of my life by going back to school, but I have to learn not to text them so much when I'm feeling down. I feel like it's kind of selfish, but I just get so damn lonely sometimes. I just hope I'm not being an emotional vampire.
You might be. But something important to note I think is that getting on people's nerves now and then isn't the end of the world and we all do it. It's all about the give and take, the understanding through clear communication and the apology. Like even under far less heavy circumstances, if someone just had something stressful happen to them, they're like to take that energy into their next conversation and make it unfun for the person they had it with. Does that mean they're a bad person that can't regulate their emotions or is that just normal and we're not machines? Don't be overbearing, of course, but simultaneously, don't think you have to a perfect conduit of good vibes to everyone, that's unrealistic.
Relatable as hell tbh
I’ve often shared this with friends who are having tough relationship issues. You word it so much better than I ever could
Fool no matter what we do someone will get hurt or offended. You cut off a toxic relationship you change and forget what’s bad and good but nothing is really bad or good meaning nothing is good for yourself or for others around you everything is wrong but it won’t every matter in the end.
The Period of Pringel it may not matter to you but others it will it might changes people as they will learn from that experience they might enjoy it and may be, be a better person from learning from that experience, and you’re kinda saying this as if you’re edgy or depressed saying stuff like nothing would matter in the end, but yes nothing will matter in the end but if you keep thinking of this you’ll never try any thing as you’re going to just say it won’t even matter
The Period of Pringel, yes. Someone always get hurt or offended but she is not a fool because someone might be having a tough time in her life and this might’ve helped them because they are in a relationship that’s manipulative, not in a relationship that’s manipulative with Ellamae, but still a manipulative one with someone else. And like you said “it won’t matter in the end.” What if the vid completely changes someone’s life from a bad to a good life because they saw that video and ended a friendship that was unhealthy. THAT would change the end.
mr flex, I aggree but, Read my last note above this one ☝🏻 and tell me doesn’t matter in the end to me. You can’t.
Ellamae, sorry for the period of Pringle, but, you keep doing you.
-A person who has a Heart and dose not like haters
“Don’t tolerate any pollution, you are the one who has to live in it, and you deserve clean air.” -Jaiden Animations
What a great quote honestly. (Fixed my comment)
first reply of 337 likes lol
@@shinyzane2660 what lol
@@shanonymous2010 i was the first reply to your comment
That freaking hit different oh my gosh
Ye
Can we talk about how amazingly smooth and professional jaidens animations are
Ilay Netter *points to the helping animators in the description*
Kale yeah people do help out with the vids. It’s a team effort! 😊
Guys we know it's a team effort. He is just complimenting her/them. Chill out
I’d rather not
Are?
rewatching this after having gotten out of a toxic relationship is so eye-opening.
I was being manipulated and bullied for so long, and I didnt even realize it
I would blame myself constantly, because I always felt like it was my fault.
but, finally ending things off was the best decision, it did sting, but I wasnt myself anymore and I had lost so many friends in the process.
being in a toxic relationship is extremely difficult, especially when you feel like there's no one to turn to and you feel trapped.
but, just remember youre your own person, no one should ever control your life and the things that you do
I know I’m two years late and this probably won’t be seen, but I just wanna say I’m glad this video exists, it helped me realize that I needed to cut someone who I had known for three years out of my life, it’s been 8 months without them now and things are still troubling sometimes, but I hope I’ll be better
I’m two years late
Im glad it helped you too…i had a emotionally manipulative boyfriend, it was hard to break up with him, it took me months to get the courage, I still feel like it was weak of me to break up online. It’s much better than being stuck with him. This topic is really sensitive for me, and Im glad my comfort UA-camr gave this advice.:)
Wish you all the best , friend!^^
I've had a close best friend for around 8ish years now and this video has made me realize he's been a pretty huge jerk recently. I'm gonna talk to him abt it and if it fixes then good, if not then welp
I am too late
@@TrueKiwi what happened?
I actually really like how Jaiden is letting us know that we can’t sugarcoat everything and that some relationships just can’t be fixed if they treat you like doo doo.
true dat
Yeah, I had a friend that I hadn’t talked to for months or a year because they were toxic and I found better people, I saw them at Target a couple months ago and we tried to hang out the next day and she wouldn’t use my correct name or pronouns, so I walked home for two hours with two backpacks full of art supplies that I brought.
time to coat it with salt :D
@@crepesareawesome8298 With a side of bitter melon for the harsh truth :D
I am truly a passive person, 0:49 to 1:05 explains me and my friend. I’ve heard a term called a “toxic relationship”, I mean, idk if that’s us..
Jaiden: Not responsible for anyone's happiness.
Person: But I'm a therapist.
Therapy gives people the tools to help them fix themselves
Okay gray area there.
Alright, grey area.
Or a mother
I’d just like to say that therapists have the job of helping people and/or giving them the professional social/emotional help they need. Therapists are responsible for helping people to change into being the better version of themselves’ in order to make their life more enjoyable, but, therapists do not control the people they see. If their visitors refuse the advice they are given and decide to be so incompetent that they block out any useful information towards a better path to the future, the therapist is not responsible. (Y’all probably know this, I just wanted to comment it)
i’ve always had a strong relationship with this video. about 5 years ago I had a bunch of friends that really sucked and I just keep rewatching this to feel better about not talking to them anymore. Now, someone who I was very good friends with has stopped talking to me due to my mental health not being great and her trying to get better. And now I’m back watching this. It’s yet again comforting. It’s so good hearing somebody say “You are not responsible for anyone’s personal happiness” Even though it sucks for me i’m so glad that my former friend is actively trying to get better, even if that means i’m not a part of it. This is always something I watch in times where one way or another I need to grow or change as a person.
I recently just ended a really toxic relationship. I've been a Jaiden fan for years but I found myself coming to this video a week before my break up and it helped assure me that I was doing the right thing. Because of the wisdom and advice in this video, I was able to get my happiness back and get back to enjoying life. Thank you Jaiden.
Congrats Bepsiman, I’ve been there but with a “friend” I had for almost 7 years. The guy was gaslighting me, just made me feel guilty for doing simple mistakes and was bossy to me. What’s worse is that because of what he does, we talked almost everyday and it socially drained me. After I blocked him my mom asked what happened and we talked about it. All I could say she’s got a point, he wasn’t being a friend he was being a Chad like in the scenario Jaiden gave. And if it wasn’t for my friends and sister who saw me cry for the 3rd time, I wouldn’t be here leaving a comment on this video
:)
I feel awful seeing all these comments talking about their abusive relationships. I had a toxic relationship, too. I had to leave. But my partner was actually one of the sweetest people i’ve ever met, it wasn’t them who was toxic. I was the toxic one. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to hurt him so much, but leaving was the right thing to do for him.
💞TotallyNotSarvente💕 haha imagine
didn ask but everybody knows the same thing AMOGUS FUNNI
Now that I'm out of a toxic relationship, this video hits different.
I had a super toxic friend. We used to always fall out and he would always find i way to lay the blame on me, making me feel like it was my fault we were in this shithole of a situation to begin with. What i didn't know, is that we fell out because he didn't agree with what i did. He didn't like what i did so that made it a problem. This is a brief rundown of what happened.
Me: 'Hey i'm going to go hang out with (insert random friend name here) today!'
Him: 'So you're just going to leave me alone? What the hell is wrong with you. I thought we were close friends. You always treat me like shit!'
You see where i'm coming from?
@@MalakSmalak ah yeah. I had a friend like that. She was awful but I then I moved so it was fine I guess
@@velmadinkly1093 oof sorry to hear that :(
I’m proud of all of you in the comments who got out of that
It takes a lot of strength so good job
@@felinefrost7023 well it most certainly takes a lot of strength to say you are proud of someone! Thank you :)
Jaiden: Someone shouldn't ever need you. They should want you.
Romantic Movies: Wha'd you say?
Ifkr! The idea of love they project is really toxic if you ask me (I know you didn't but still) It's just that the whole "I'll die without you" facade is really shitty.
@@shaina4891 Strong agree.
100% AGREED. You should NOT need anyone to survive, unless there is a valid reason to require help from another individual. (I.e caretakers). YOU SHOULD NOT USE OTHERS AS A TOOL FOR YOUR SURVIVAL. This idea is toxic asf and annoying to hear about for the millionth time.
(Sorry this kinda became a rant)
You should see what Hollywood producers do behind the scenes...
(Seriously. Those movies are made by sick people.)
Dum you are so rude to her i don't know why people hate her she is awesome👍🙄
Jaiden, I know you’re probably not going to see this comment, but if you do, I wanted to say thank you so much for this post. I had a friend a while back, and we were friends for almost 7 years, but over time I noticed their behavior towards other people, the things they would say, and their general attitude towards others was beginning to become a problem. It was hard for me to tell if I was being over dramatic and couldn’t really tell what was going on. This advice helped me a lot and when it got to the point this person talked bad about me and my other friends, I knew it was time to cut it off. That was a while ago, but I revisit this video every now and then and I am so grateful for this advice. Thank you ❤️
I love the metaphor “you have an ecosystem and it’s your responsibility to maintain it”. It’s so true and I thank Jaiden for reminding us not to deal with toxic people and just remove them from our lives
said the toxic person
@@tosmok what
@@Data-Expungeded narra is toxic
Psychological ecosystem🤔
@Tosmok how so?
Anyone else super afraid that they're being manipulative towards others without noticing?
Me
I’m not cuz I don’t have any relationships :3
Yep. Now I’m scared everyone thinks I’m a jerk and I have no clue
your profile picture reminds me of 2012 and I love it so much
Me
"Responsibilities aren't just assigned to you."
Schools: I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that.
The guidance counselor: No No... He's got a point.
Expooooosssssseeeeddddd
Employers: Nothing to see here...
Parents: yea... just schools..
666th like
When I first wacthed this 5 years ago I was in a toxic relationship but didn’t want to admit it. I would think about this video a lot and finally found the confidence to cut off that toxic person. Now I’m way better at recognizing toxic people in my life. Great vid thx Jaiden
Im so proud of myself that i identified someone being toxic to me.
He legit uses fake depression so id stay with him, he threatened my only genuine best friend of 3 years, invaded my privacy, convinced me to give him a lot of money because im the "rich" one in our group and not paying for stuff he owes. He was so nice to everyone and me at first, but as soon as he said "oh you should just leave me and go back to your bestfriend, no one loves me anyway and tell our group goodbye, cause ill be dead tmr." It just hit me. This guy is toxic. I even had a dream later that night warning me about manipulation. I was bewildered like woah my dream just did that.
I havent confronted him yet, im just ignoring him atm.
Im proud you have spotted that toxic person in your life, and i really do hope the confrontation happens goes smoothly. You've dodge a bullet by noticing the toxic person 👍💕
My sisters ex was like that he eventually started hitting her as well somebody like that is not gonna bring you any good
Good for you. People like that are not the best people like... ever! I'm very happy that you realized this. I hope you meet someone who is better than toxic human beings
Good for you, he sounds like a jerk.
I clicked read more and WOW
Jaiden:”You dont have to solve other people’s problems”
Me: *Looks at math* “Well, if you say so…”
Wait wha
holy shit your IQ
I mean, when are you gonna need it anyway (unless you aren't in high school yet)
@@funnyvideoguy3216 Or in Turkey.
@ii_nixliiYT agreed.
“You are NOT responsible for anyone else’s happiness” hit me on a personal level lol
Nice dawg
It’s facts man.
Same
Same
But I'm santa claus
“You’re NOT responsible for other people happiness!” You do not know how much this helped me Jaiden with a certain relationship so thank you so much!
7:23
Didn't expect a BHA reference, but here we are.
Oh thank god I thought I was the only one who saw it.
Me neither! But as you said, here we are!
Zephyr Toga got a sneaky sneak
That was the best part of my day today :)
BHA?
*_YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH EXPERIENCE FOR THIS SKILL_*
omg I love you Jaiden.. 😂😭
MisterOmega thanks
I don't need experience: 8:12 I AM A GOD
@@trunic "carefully, he's a hero"
" Who's gonna watch your ecosystem? No one, because that's your responsibility."
That really hit me...I should pay more attention to my own ecosystem...
Yea it also hit me! I couldn't explain this better because I learned it the really hard way last november.. Took too much junk from others and you eco breaks, like shatters.
This video may be the best warning you could give someone!
Didn’t affect me :3
U should always watch ur ecosystem but it’s not bad to look out for others every now and then. Otherwise u end up becoming the jerk.
The problem is that you will forget about this in few weeks.
I watched this video years ago when I was in a very toxic and emotionally abusive relationship and I guess I missed the point because I watched it and was like "That was a great video! Definitely doesn't remind me of anything!" and now watching it again 9 months after I left that relationship I really really wished I had shown this to that person since I was always to scared to verbalize my feelings to them, not only that but this video has made me realize that I myself am not always super nice and I have problems to work on lol, So thank you Jaiden, this was very educational and helpful.
"Someone shouldn't ever need you. They should want you."
I've heard this before, but I've also heard "humans are social animals," and "loneliness kills." What's the appropriate balance between needing people and needing a person?
Well I think of it like this, you should enjoy the company and want it. Needing happiness and relationships such as friendship or companionship. But not constantly feeling the NEED for them to be with you or the ultimate source for your individual happiness.
Most people need meaningful interaction with other people for a happy and fulfilled life. This is not the same as "needing" *you*. To be fair, as a relationship develops, it's natural for a certain level of interdependence to develop. You raise children, you pay a mortgage, etc. This isn't really what is being discussed either though. It's more discussing an unhealthy dynamic that can occasionally emerges where one person will guilt the other person into staying in the relationship by insisting that without their partner, something bad would happen. And since the partner cares about the well-being of them, the partner stays. But it's really manipulative and ultimately self-defeating.
For me, I immediately get nervous when someone says that I'm the only thing that makes them truly happy. That's need as opposed to want. When someone says that they enjoy hanging out with me, that's great! I love that.
you shouldn’t *need* one specific person 24/7, you need people around you but you should be able to be with different people and be able to go an evening without talking to anyone
@@symphony_in_plaid4592 Oh god, the amount of times the toxic person in my life has said I'm the reason they keep living is staggering
*”Don’t let them forcefully shove their junk on you.”*
-Jaiden
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
no
She can hide jokes better than Disney XD
*o h*
The hardest part of the discussion is that we often talk about how to see this behavior in others, but never how to identify it in ourselves. Instead, we are all given the impression that we're fine and it's OTHER people who are the problem.
self awareness is a crucial skill in building healthy relationships: that's why it's important to have good friends over the course of life that are not afraid of calling out your bullshit and thus help you build it to a level where you can trust in some capacity that you're not lying to yourself or painting things with TOO much bias (it's essentially impossible to not do this in some capacity) but obviously not everyone is that lucky or has the right skill set/ courage to do so. Empathy as well I feel can be incredibly useful in helping discern the situation but as the video pointed out: if you're constantly making excuses for why someone is treating you a certain way or defending their choice of actions to people you know love you and also know them, it's probably a red flag.
@Nick Dahl agreed. In high school I always blamed everyone else. But eventually I realized I was often the problem. You can't expect people with negative traits to improve if we don't encourage everyone to reflect. We all have something we can change for the better
yess
@@Blank-mf1qc then look for a quiz
@unigaming9921 You really went the Taylor Swift Antihero route. Good
I feel like everyone talks about how "do this or I will hurt you" is toxic, but never how "do this or I will hurt myself" is JUST AS TOXIC. It's usually excused because of what the person is going through (as someone who's had self-harmful thoughts and behaviors myself), so you "can't be mad at them because they are doing worse than you are, try to be more understanding and emphatetic". Thank you Jaiden, everything in this vid was simply but effectively explained:)
Jaiden: We have to interact with people
Pandemic: Allow me to introduce myself
THE HUGGING AAEÆÆÆŔĚƏƏ
Celestial Dragons the fuck are you saying my guy
Hmmm, I like the stealing joke.....
Me, an extrovert with discord and zoom: are you challenging me?
SpiderKidAnimations Anti-socials with anxiety such as I. “We are going to be great friends 😌”
3:23 "Are my other friends gonna do it??"
**THUNK**
I laughed so hard at the thunk
@@jonathanwhite6576 me too, it was halarious!
I was looking for this comment.
**THUNK**
My favorite part!!
Deep meaning in good animations
the best kind of videos
JoshInspires agreed
Two years ago I watched this video and it made me realise i was a part of a REALLY toxic friendship. It was one of those “but she’s really depressed and su1c1d@l i don’t want anything to happen to her!” Friendships where I end up being forced to carry the burdens of my friend to the point that they aren’t getting any better, but I’m getting worse. It pulled me into a really dark place but this video smacked some sense into me and I ended the friendship. Now I can say I’m really truly happy.
Sorry to ask but what happened after you ended things? I'm desperate rn
“Don’t let them forcefully shove their junk on y-“
*_D E M O N E T I S E D_*
King Anson I thought I was the only one who found that joke dirty...🤣🤣🤣
*69 likes*
@@medditor3863 Wha?
I just realised this! Lmfao
@@medditor3863 bruh, it's a joke
"Someone shouldn't need you, they should want you." Yea, I found that out the hard way. That's why I love my friend group now.
Good for you @Koshi Sugawara stay strong
Have you ever pooped your pants thinking it's a fart
@Kenma Kuzume Hey Kenma!!
@Sk Can Thank you! To you too!
@@kaprecerajkumar9618 Thank you so much
*Someone shouldn't need you, they should want you* - wise words.
Right as I read this, the part came on
so the wisdom water is kicking in, eh?
Doctors, children, babies and therapists: *_Sweating increases_*
"Ppl shouldn't NEED you, they should WANT you"
"Take care of your ecossystem"
Are really things I need to take more care of. I had a tendency of depending a lot on previous partners, as if they were the only ones I could be happy with, and set aside hobbies. But I'm the one responsible for my happiness and well-being, so I'm trying to take more care of, get to know myself, heal from past traumas and all. It's a process.
@karolporto2352 I read this, and it explains everything that I'm going through to a T. I'm really glad I'm not alone in this mindset.
@@edgarvasquez-santana9679 Something I have been dreading to do is writing about those things. Just because I know it's helpful, doesn't mean it is easy. But one step at a time, thoughts come and go. And in some trauma, we may even forget some things happened due to the brain protecting us from that memory - stored and untouchable, could be hard to understand why we do what we do.
Going back to old hobbies or finding new ones. Experimenting life, really. There are so many things to explore that may spark interest!
I was in a toxic relationship where we've talked for almost a year, and whenever they made me feel like trash, I made the excuse of "they're having a bad day" or "they're probably in a bad mood" and always ranted to me and fr said "you don't even care do you" and "this is what they always do, listen to my cry baby story and leave me on read" and I wasn't in the best mental state at the time too, and they always blew up over the smallest things and then ignored it like it never happened. And when I did end up blocking them out of my life, I felt like I did sometime wrong and that maybe they would hurt themselves but thankfully I had true friends that reassured me that they needed to get out if my life, and thankfully I'm in a much better friendship with much better people now :]
I'm glad your in much better relationships than before
I am legit in that situation rn but I think I realized I should just stop doing anything with them I didn’t cut em off I just didn’t talk to them a whole lot they were nice people tbh but they made me feel like an outcast and a weirdo sometimes and it kinda made me feel like shit and after a while I started becoming this a hole to a friend who I kept telling my problems all the time until I realized how toxic I was being so I kinda just stopped everything changed myself up and made my self into a better person I can be. As of right now I am still at that process of like rejuvenating and be a better person but I am glad I can at least understand myself to the situation I was in really fast.
I was in the same area always saying to my self “they have anger issues” or “they are just not feeling good” or “I’m they reason their like this” never good to have to say the I go like that to reassure your actions
So if everyone is their own ecosystem, does that make therapists conservationists?
yes it does
Pretty sure they're gardening supply shops. They give you the tools to learn how to maintain your ecosystem and improve or change it in a simple but non damaging way. And YOU decide to listen to their advice and follow their instructions.
Probably
I feel happy
Nah, makes em lawmowers
"Don't let them forcefully force their junk on you"
I'm gonna remember this
Me too because constantly i have toxic relationships.
Ha hah.
*Assassin Kamran will remember this*
Yeah K agree because some people (I mean my (horrible) friends) do this to me and I realise that they are tricking me to bully me.
Do you know the the average dick size of a whale is 9 meters?
Yes @Attack helicopter i did
I have sent this video to two of my friends when they were in toxic relationships, and used the eight points you listed out around eight minutes and thirty seconds in to help them figure things out. Thank you SO much.
"Don't let them forcefully shove their junk on you"
-Jaiden 2019
Loki the kitten ikr
9/10 Kids don't understand this joke
Ew lmaooooo
I didn’t even realize that... I’m never gonna unhear that xD
Her chuckle after saying that though.
"No one wakes up and is like "haha, I'm gonna be super manipulative today!" "
You're right. You can all trust me.
I will do whatever you ask. I pledge myself to your teachings.
*heavy breathing* HUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why does she look like toga from mha
@@olisbricks2468 she does
did anyone notice toga?
“Dont let people force their junk on you” -jaiden, preventing sexual assaults 10 minutes at a time.
Even if it was a accidental convenient sentence
Hey great anology😃😃😃
@@kingstonsilva1417 dontyoumeanANALogy
@@TheActualMrLink _w h y_
@@TheActualMrLink WHY
I like the pile example because it symbolizes that it's perfectly fine to help them out a bit with what you can without neglecting your own mental health but it's important to set boundaries about how much you can handle helping with
When someone drinks straight out of the milk carton
RED FLAG
Just drinking plain milk is a red flag :/
TJ Shavis oh darn they caught us
🚩
BOTH OF YALL ARE WRONG
Yes thank u
”When you look at somebody through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just looks like flags” - Wanda Pierce
Damn that’s a good fucking quote holy shit
Bojack moment
I used to be in a really famous teee vee show...
So like if you look at someone you “love” the red flags arent as visible?
@@livlovd6380 no shit
When you hear someone knocking your door and it says "You forgot your French lessons"
*_RED FLAG_*
ehehehehehheheeh
Beg for your life in spanish
NO DUO! DON'T DO IT!!
Getting a notification for that same thing JUST as I read this comment?
Red flag.
*BIG RED FLAG*
I’m gonna go do some Spanish now.....
2:46 "BAWUAAAHU" best transition ever
"don't let them forcefully shove their junk on you" -jaiden 2019
DIRTY MIND TEST!!!
doing that is something called rape i suppose
I S T H A T A N A N T I R A P E J O K E ?
SJWs 2019: BURN IT WITH FIRE!
Wait what?
How is it dirty mindex?
“The abused become the abuser” is what I’ve heard for so long, and that sentence is why I’m always so paranoid about what I say to people and how I act, one minute I’ll be nice and the next I’ll talk about you like it’s nothing I have a really bad habit of telling people what they wanna hear instead of saying what I truly feel and I think that’s the course of all my bad actions, I really wanna try and be a better person and I hope I can! Thank you Jaiden your video really helped!
There are too many Levi profile pictures
@@rexanimates6344 Never enough Levi
People like to overgeneralize lazily. Only trust mathematically consistent arguments. Ps all quotes are stupid.
I have a really bad habit of telling people what I truly feel lol.
@@TheEllod yeah all quotes are wrong but this statement is not wrong. yeah you shouldn't overgeneralize things but if you IGNORE this fact. you can become pretty abusive in nature. and it is not true for every situation.
As Garnet once said: *“Your soulmate Is your complement not your missing piece”*
sup fellow fan
Imagine when they turn to the gem, they just remake into a jewelry store
Complement*
I'm a therapist
Do therapists have to help people
This really helped me because I was in a toxic relationship and they where threatening to hurt then self is I ever broke up with them. But this showed that I don’t have to be controlled by other people. I know that u won’t see this but I just wanted to say thank you
Jaiden: Practice positive self-talk
*I aM a GoD-*
Jaiden: alright not that positive
The Oblivion_76 notice the mirror after that part
My sister's ex was manipulating her saying, that if she'll leave him he'll kill himself, but she left him anyway and he wasn't even sad
Man was a sociopath
@@lancefisher8358 not really people just have issues. Even if he shows he didn't care, but he likely cried behind closed doors.
Well floof dat random person
@@darkvoid3647 Men tends to cry behind closed doors since the world don't want to care even when he actually contemplate bathing with a toaster.
I hate people that hurt others just to get attention. It hurts me and I've never even been in a relationship like that! It's just terrible that things like that happen.
Who else watching this suddenly realized how toxic one of their past relationships was or how toxic their current relationship is. Because same.
Boy, I just came out of a toxic relationship like less than a month ago and i'm feeling this video
I still kinda haven’t left one but at least now I feel less guilty for wanting to leave 😅
@@dapperapplee Never feel guilty for wanting your own happiness
My past had SO many toxic relationships
Yeah...I have a lot of toxic friends...c':
This is such a heartfelt and deep video. It feels like psych2go
YASSSSS I love that channel
"That's toxic as *SHIIII* "
-Axolotl Jaiden
XD H
THATS WAT I PUT XD
@@Jorkinmypeanuts OOP-
@@Nezuk0._ XD
“I’m pathetic just leave me”
“Ok”
*leaves*
“Uhm”
*me being literal*
*Thats what I call a pro gamer move*
Poké Dudes meeeeee bro
Wow this is my best comment since one I made on a Betty boop video
I hate people who keep repeating that shit.
Can I just say how much Jaiden improved at animations, like this looks fluid as heck
Watch your language mate
Oh yeah! * wierd kool-aid man voice * 😂(wierd)
She has a crew to work with, so it's not just her
Cactus Coyote .
Other people animate this too so
Man dude watching this after the coming out video IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE
Jaiden's brain: how much real life do you want
Jaiden: *yes.*
“Don’t let them forcefully shove their junk on you”
-Jaiden, 2019
yeah pretty sure that's illegal anyways
That’s what she said
Oh. Now I can't unhear it.
Why does that sound like jadens giving a speech about no no squares🤔😆
These nuts:
Allow me to introduce myself 😏😏😏
“*Don’t let them forcefully shove their junk on you*”
You’re right!
**Tell them to start recycling!!**
Ye save the Earth
Make bad thoughts happy : D
Hehe
it's funny because it has a rape connotation haha
Owo
This, years later, may of helped me shed light on a certain toxic friendship of mine. If she pulls anymore crap, my friend group decided to have a discussion with her, and this video actually really helped. Thanks, Jaiden.
Ooooo so much animation in one youtube video! My eyes are blessed.
AND I NOTICED THAT TOGA
Kat 7:21 fam
Damm, my girlfriend broke up with me a month ago.. this video is making me realize why.. I was toxic man.. I honestly didn't mean to be though. Was completely oblivious to it. I passively guilt trip her, was so insecure, had trust issues. Not to the extent of being like if you leave me I'ma kill myself type of deal, but I was definitely clingy cause of my insecurities. And not giving her space. Wish we could have sorted it out, I really loved her and still do.. but na, she is straight up done with me, scared of me.. especially since post break up I made things worse by begging, pleading, and all of that.. I really dug myself in a deep hole. But all I can really do now is learn from it. Learn from the experience, and work on improving myself.
I'm glad your learning from your mistakes man good luck 👍
Watch and Learn! *Does a fucking backflip into a noose* now you!
Good luck, you'll need it.
@@yasminaunicorn3735 Your not funny at all just to let you know
@@yasminaunicorn3735 Telling people to kill themselves won't help them lmao
This video should be played during that health unit about relationships instead of the videos from 2001 about sally and chad
Agreed, this is legitimately helpful with relationships. Though I do feel some bits should be fleshed out, for instance gas lighting. It was brought up but wasn’t expanded upon, and its a term people love to throw out without any idea what it means.
Heck yeah!
Also, f*ck chad
ashley wait until it’s 7 years old and then they might play it.
that checklist near the end has been helping me started the process of splitting with some bad friends. thank you so much
“But I’m Santa!”
“Alright, grey area.”
SandyIRL No she said Grey
Um excuse me its spelt grAy not grEy
I’m just kidding
SandyIRL It’s okay. It was just a mistake
Me in Santa costume: "hahaha!"
7:21 *FRICKIN TOGA*
Thanks Jaiden.
Holy shit
I freaked out when i saw toga
I forgot, who is toga. like I know her but I forgot her. Can you help me remember who she is? Thanks
It was a nice touch cause it's her to a T
Couldnt remember what her name was so i called her tofu lol
This video helped me realize that I was the toxic person in a relationship. We were too far into problems (that I caused) for the friendship to be repaired, and they needed to cut me out of their lives, but after a lot of reflection (and therapy), I’ve been able to form some awesome relationships.
Thank you for making this video.
My deepest respect for you realizing that you were toxic and changing it. I wish you all the best.
I've been the toxic person too. I've gone to so much therapy and now I'm a lot more conscious of my emotions and behaviors so I don't go back to that. It's hard. I'm glad to find someone else who's gone through that change.
This video made me realise a bunch of new things about a relationship I had about half year ago. I thought that she was very manipulative to me and didn't care about me, but faked caring about me, and while that is slightly true, this made me realise that I was being quite manipulative as well. I was and still am not in the best metal state and I always 'used' her to try and make me feel better, I felt bad about doing this but she said herself that I could do it, but it got to the point where she was giving, me actually good advice and I just wasn't taking it and just continued asking her for help about the same things over and over again. She never asked me to try and help her with her mental health even though she struggled quite a bit as well. It was going fine for the first 3-4 Months but after that it was just going downhill, it made me feel worse hanging out with her all the time but I kept going trying to relive the happy memories that I experienced all those months ago, until it was her birthday, we were in a bigger friend group together and she invited all of them behind my back to her house and party and have a sleepover and left me out of it. Even before that I talked about it and she said she was going out with her family out somewhere and agreed with me that I could go to give her a present just a couple minutes before everyone else came. I was outside her house too scared to knock on the door for whatever reason which was a MASSIVE sign that we weren't meant to be friends, after I plucked up the courage 30 minutes later and many weird looks from neighbours I went in and gave her the present, we talked, hugged and all that, but she was really eager for me to go, I assumed it was because she was going out but then she invited the rest of out friends round and left me out, completely lying to my face. I was done after this and I didn't talk to her again, it was a hard separation, but a separation I needed. She didn't even care though, she didn't try to talk with me either and was just very noticeable that she didn't care for me and I was latched on unhealthily. Its been 6 months now and the consequences of it still haunt me to this day, I didn't get into much or rather anything about it except for that but I always though she was just manipulating me for her own will, when in reality, I played a part as well. I feel quite bad about the situation now as she was probably fed up with me lumping my load onto hers, so it made sense for her to try and distance but was just not right for me and our poor communication
TL;DR i had a friend and i thought she was the only manipulator but turns out we both were thanks to this video