Tom Papa - Zen Father - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

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  • Опубліковано 5 лют 2015
  • Tom Papa knows he has to protect his daughters from teenage boys because he used to be one himself.
    The Comedy Central app has full episodes of your favorite shows available now. on.cc.com/1e85GN8
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 563

  • @standup
    @standup 4 роки тому +24

    In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: ua-cam.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ.html

    • @bravemise
      @bravemise 3 роки тому +2

      More TOM PAPA

    • @mosessamuel6918
      @mosessamuel6918 2 роки тому

      Sorry to be so offtopic but does any of you know of a tool to get back into an instagram account..?
      I somehow forgot my account password. I would appreciate any tricks you can offer me!

    • @deshawnmarkus3977
      @deshawnmarkus3977 2 роки тому

      @Moses Samuel instablaster ;)

  • @trentrubenacker9718
    @trentrubenacker9718 4 роки тому +502

    This father is thinking "Eh. The boy worked hard and bought a car 2 years early. And I caught him him going down on her. Seems like a solid kid. She could do worse."

    • @tracyemerson3658
      @tracyemerson3658 4 роки тому +15

      Right?

    • @1nvisible1
      @1nvisible1 4 роки тому +27

      *To Heidi's dad! (raises a glass)*

    • @DJMarcO138
      @DJMarcO138 4 роки тому +7

      Myyyy mann!! LOLOLOL

    • @mr.bubbles8351
      @mr.bubbles8351 3 роки тому

      Wack

    • @kahlesjf
      @kahlesjf 3 роки тому +5

      Ha! As he was babbling his apology, I thought the father was going to interrupt him and say: "She's in her bedroom".

  • @Scootchels
    @Scootchels 5 років тому +471

    Went to college w Tom way back in the 80’s, and he really is this dude. Regular, unassuming and funny.

    • @jayd2818
      @jayd2818 4 роки тому +8

      Scootchels did he really smash like he said he did?

    • @itsamemario5724
      @itsamemario5724 4 роки тому +4

      Full of shit

    • @bigman21ize
      @bigman21ize 4 роки тому +1

      Scootchels liar

    • @macaronicheese8721
      @macaronicheese8721 3 роки тому +14

      Imagine calling someone a liar with 0 proof

    • @Scootchels
      @Scootchels 3 роки тому +10

      Jay D - Probably. We lived in the same dorm, had a few mutual friends, but it’s not like we were roommates. It was the 80’s, college and he is a personable guy.

  • @chicken6111
    @chicken6111 7 років тому +386

    The best kind of comic is a good storyteller. Love this.

    • @Rhapbus1
      @Rhapbus1 5 років тому

      can purchase it on youtube

  • @SpacemanXC
    @SpacemanXC 9 років тому +146

    Pinstripes and jeans?
    That is a man who has been married for a very long time, and gives absolutely zero fucks.

    • @zekeleone4357
      @zekeleone4357 6 років тому +1

      man who comments on u tube video gives zero fucks

  • @folarinosibodu
    @folarinosibodu 6 років тому +52

    I love when comedians incorporate audience's response in a cool and naturalistic way that still fits their flow.

  • @cpresto2
    @cpresto2 4 роки тому +61

    I love how Tom very rarely uses profanity on stage, so that when he pulls one out, it slams against your head

  • @nomadfallout
    @nomadfallout 9 років тому +84

    ive watched so many comedians get hugely famous and become unable to deliver the high standard from their early days, but tom papa continues to impress me

    • @Lexor888
      @Lexor888 3 роки тому

      If he was hugely famous I would have heard about him before clicking this video, which I didn't - so what's your point?

  • @chrismoreno2394
    @chrismoreno2394 6 років тому +275

    Tom Papa is wildly underrated

    • @every_username_is_taken
      @every_username_is_taken 5 років тому +2

      It's his own fault, mostly. He's been on Seinfeld's shadow for many years. Opening for Jerry is a reliable pay, I guess, but doesn't do much to progress your career.

    • @RDWheat
      @RDWheat 5 років тому +18

      I'd see Tom Papa over Jerry Seinfeld any day

    • @DJMarcO138
      @DJMarcO138 4 роки тому

      Truth. I love him on NPR too.

    • @alexf6206
      @alexf6206 3 роки тому

      Shouldn't that mean he's funny? What went wrong?

    • @mikeshmit1363
      @mikeshmit1363 3 роки тому

      @@alexf6206 i think his 2tv show called come to papa hurt his career

  • @richmondstevenj
    @richmondstevenj 3 роки тому +25

    Tom Papa is my new favorite comedian. Took me awhile to discover him.

  • @i-never-look-at-replies-lol
    @i-never-look-at-replies-lol 8 років тому +295

    I like Tom Papa because he's kind of a "clean" comic, but still funny as fuck without all the cheese that clean comics typically rely on.

    • @Tzadeck
      @Tzadeck 8 років тому +6

      +hevquip Brian Regan is funny as hell too--his "I walked on the moon" special is great.

    • @sic615
      @sic615 8 років тому +4

      +hevquip exactly! its like how people love Gabriel Eglasias or whatever. "fluffy"... I mean yeah hes ok, but I just cant get down with that kind of comedy. If your act isn't offending someone, its not for me...

    • @murraymachado401
      @murraymachado401 7 років тому +2

      Regan is the best!

    • @allanfloyd8103
      @allanfloyd8103 7 років тому +10

      I think there's two kinds of 'clean' comedians. There are those that are clean for moral reasons, but some just chose to work that way so their work is more available...
      I prefer the second type ;)

    • @GrantPatN
      @GrantPatN 7 років тому +4

      Lol not very clean

  • @andrasbeke3012
    @andrasbeke3012 7 років тому +1276

    I've watches probably 50 skits and I just realized that this is a strip club

    • @toniabowie5487
      @toniabowie5487 6 років тому +3

      Andras Beke lol 😆

    • @jimmychopsticks8568
      @jimmychopsticks8568 6 років тому +1

      Andras Beke 😂😂

    • @jodyjenkins4793
      @jodyjenkins4793 5 років тому +49

      Some jackass was trying to convince people it was just a mirror showing the audience reflection in the background...but for some reason all the comics were invisible there, like vampires.

    • @bonethrusterfpv3122
      @bonethrusterfpv3122 5 років тому +16

      what gave it away? could be any place they have vertical brass poles all over.... ;)

    • @nadiyahmuhammad3979
      @nadiyahmuhammad3979 5 років тому +40

      Never been to a strip club. Watched a ton of these. Didn’t know, until now...

  • @PixelGod240
    @PixelGod240 3 роки тому +17

    I listen to him every morning on Spotify and I swear I wouldn’t go to work if
    It wasn’t for him lifting my mood every morning.

  • @daveythrice
    @daveythrice 9 років тому +143

    Tom is funny.
    Tom is funny.

    • @daveythrice
      @daveythrice 9 років тому +14

      I'll repeat myself.
      Repeat myself.
      Tom is a funny guy.
      Funny guy.

    • @permabulk1454
      @permabulk1454 4 роки тому +3

      And he opened the door! He opened the door and he says. He says. Tom.. Tom, it’s time time to go home now now

  • @byronramirez9592
    @byronramirez9592 9 років тому +204

    As a father of a daughter and having been in high school having sex at a young age I can totally relate in not only the fear of having some young punk taking advantage of your daughter but also the realization that I must not try to micromanage my daughter ....this has been sooo funny so true.. so real.

    • @KazzArie
      @KazzArie 4 роки тому +3

      Byron Ramirez how’s it working out for ya

    • @Hstevenson69
      @Hstevenson69 4 роки тому +16

      Too much micromanagement leads to unhealthy codependency. Too little supervision leads to bad behavior for attention sake. Then there's everything in between, you can't win but you can limit probability of life altering mistakes. Thus borne the balancing act of parenthood and the eventual release of responsibility once they are competent enough to fend off lifes tragedies themselves. I think the hardest part is keeping an account of where your kids are, competency wise, on a moment to moment basis in order to keep the proper balance. They grow up so quickly and you also have work and everything else that needs your attention just as urgently. It can be so easy to become disconnected and autonomous in your day to day if you dont fight to stay present and set up a life that helps you in that regard rather than competing for your mental bandwidth.

    • @user-go5hv6dg3d
      @user-go5hv6dg3d 3 роки тому +3

      I can't have a daughter the anxiety of thinking about what I've done to and with women in bed would floor me..

    • @ryanowns5
      @ryanowns5 2 роки тому +2

      Yikes...

    • @oraogavran3115
      @oraogavran3115 Рік тому +1

      Maybe she will be taking advantage of him

  • @Marcow321
    @Marcow321 9 років тому +400

    If I had cable I would totally watch this, but cable is dead

    • @Alienthehuman
      @Alienthehuman 9 років тому +24

      That's why we all watch it on UA-cam. What is cable even?

    • @Piecrab
      @Piecrab 8 років тому +15

      Alberto torres jr Ca-ble?

    • @elviscalzone914
      @elviscalzone914 8 років тому +8

      +DiceCow Just canceled that overpriced bullshit today

    • @thelastking3172
      @thelastking3172 6 років тому +11

      Right. Why pay for Internet AND Cable when everything ever is on the Internet. One minute I can watch Titties bouncing around and the next I'm watching a fuckin Nat Geo Documentary. It's literal Magic.

    • @triangletriangle4331
      @triangletriangle4331 6 років тому

      TheLastKing
      Exactly

  • @UpsideDownTown
    @UpsideDownTown 9 років тому +37

    Listen to your Papa, his name is Tom.

  • @payambehtash7124
    @payambehtash7124 7 років тому +28

    A story or a joke never get tired listening to Tom Papa

  • @boutaba16
    @boutaba16 8 років тому +216

    guy can tell a story or two

  • @hilarybrightangel4629
    @hilarybrightangel4629 3 роки тому +9

    He is so hilarious! LOVE him!

  • @xRS23x
    @xRS23x 5 років тому +9

    i love his sense of humor

  • @daviddemar8749
    @daviddemar8749 4 роки тому +4

    A real story no drugs involved funny and moving and with a moral too.
    Just awesome

  • @TheSakeSamurai
    @TheSakeSamurai 9 років тому +20

    I've got a ten year old and I don't need to go through her phone. My wife's got that covered. The trick is to raise them right and teach them right while they still give a shit about what you have to say.

    • @jwil4905
      @jwil4905 Рік тому +1

      So how is it now at 17?

  • @Adronomics
    @Adronomics 9 років тому +138

    I just heard this guy on JRE. He is fucking awesome. I always feel lucky finding new, to me, comics that are just so damn good!

    • @bbybel8112
      @bbybel8112 9 років тому +3

      You should see his specials on netflix if they're still available. Very funny stuff.

    • @Adronomics
      @Adronomics 9 років тому +1

      bbybel811 Oh yes! Those are on my queue.

    • @joshgibson9732
      @joshgibson9732 9 років тому +3

      Adronomics Also, he did the voice for Rob Zombie's animated movie "The Haunted World of El Superbeasto", which was a fucked up movie, but also hilarious. It's definitely worth checking out.

    • @Tommyboiuk1992
      @Tommyboiuk1992 8 років тому

      +Adronomics Well guess what you freaky bitch, Tom Papa is back on JRE!

    • @Adronomics
      @Adronomics 8 років тому

      Thomas Allen I KNOW!! I was very excited to hear it.

  • @skgstudent
    @skgstudent 9 років тому +13

    This is, by far, the best bit of Tom Papa's I have seen.

  • @heweyleweyndewey
    @heweyleweyndewey Рік тому +1

    Repeats himself incessantly, in everything he does, super grating

  • @RDWheat
    @RDWheat 5 років тому +5

    I wish Tom Papa did more voice acting, he has one of the best comedic voices

  • @EmilyKresl
    @EmilyKresl 4 роки тому +9

    I have a son and it was so innocent I had to laugh, looking through his searches and texts just made me realize that I too am a piece of shit lol and I don't go through his phone anymore. 🤣🤣

  • @jarodjohnson7713
    @jarodjohnson7713 7 років тому +115

    see, this is a real story

    • @TucksArtist
      @TucksArtist 7 років тому +3

      How can you tell its a real story?

  • @kewlbug
    @kewlbug 9 років тому +15

    One of the best storytellers!

  • @blackbird5634
    @blackbird5634 7 років тому +31

    12 very funny and enjoyable minutes, . .

  • @MeadMetal
    @MeadMetal 9 років тому +78

    How convenient, I just watched JRE podcast with tom papa lol

    • @clockworkgarlic
      @clockworkgarlic 9 років тому +3

      That'd be pretty smart of Ari.

    • @lysergiinhape
      @lysergiinhape 9 років тому

      ClockWorkGarlic Don't be racist man.

    • @clockworkgarlic
      @clockworkgarlic 9 років тому

      Crack Mayor Extraordinaire Wat? Cool it with the crack Rob you're not making sense.

    • @lysergiinhape
      @lysergiinhape 9 років тому

      ClockWorkGarlic You where clearly implying that Ari is a sneaky jew and that's just offensive. No place for racism here, so gtfo!

    • @clockworkgarlic
      @clockworkgarlic 9 років тому +4

      Crack Mayor Extraordinaire You're right, that's clearly what I was implying. But I learned my lesson, I won't call people smart again.

  • @roundsout1557
    @roundsout1557 4 роки тому +2

    Tom Papa has one of the smoothest styles and I enjoy watching them and they're generally safe for kids but I admire his style thank you for posting !

  • @kimmorgan6363
    @kimmorgan6363 3 місяці тому

    Words of wisdom AGAIN from Tom... you're my therapist, dude!!! Not joking.

  • @mobucks555
    @mobucks555 6 років тому +2

    There have been a lot of great guests on this show but this was one of the best. Well done!

  • @legomypancakes
    @legomypancakes 9 років тому +6

    i mean when your kid is 18 you have to know its impossible to control them and you can remember what its like to be that age

  • @toritheminotaur307
    @toritheminotaur307 5 років тому +16

    fun drinking game; take a shot every time he repeats himself

    • @MastaSmack
      @MastaSmack 5 років тому +5

      I see this has no replies after all the alcohol poisoning....

    • @veddynazz8303
      @veddynazz8303 3 роки тому

      @@MastaSmack the morning is ruined and so is the floor, but I made it.....
      10 minutes into the video.

  • @MariaChungWilloughby
    @MariaChungWilloughby 4 роки тому +1

    Great story and so true. Thank you for sharing. Awesome.

  • @corrado
    @corrado 7 років тому +64

    he reminds me of that character from Goodfellas that was on screen for 2 seconds: Mr. Two Times (because he says everything twice in a row)

    • @rafaelhannah4818
      @rafaelhannah4818 7 років тому +24

      corrado "I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers."

    • @every_username_is_taken
      @every_username_is_taken 5 років тому +7

      Repetition is a common and powerful rhetoric device used to emphasize important details in a narrative.

    • @jamiemagallanes7849
      @jamiemagallanes7849 5 років тому +1

      Ima go get the papers , get the papers 😂 tommy two time !

    • @yellowmelancholy4875
      @yellowmelancholy4875 4 роки тому

      UBERMENSCH but...he does it nearly after every sentence. Every sentence.
      It’s his shtick. All comics have them, but I find this particular one to be quite annoying. It’s too much. It’s too much.

  • @stephenperry152
    @stephenperry152 2 роки тому

    Cant believe its taken me this long to have him come across my radar! Brilliant, love it!

  • @FranciscoHernandez-sd7hq
    @FranciscoHernandez-sd7hq 6 років тому +11

    I actually love his shit. It's not edgey and in your face. It feels like I'm just listening to a piece of Americana. Wether it's reminiscing or his views on his family, it seems like he's just representing the mid-life family man. His comedy is finely aged and just puts a smile on my face. Not my favorite comedian. Just one that I'm glad to listen to.

  • @ThaisMCruz
    @ThaisMCruz 3 роки тому +1

    First time I’ve ever saw Tom do anything other than clean comedy.

  • @macorine987
    @macorine987 9 років тому +12

    Awesome I was just looking for more of these

  • @idontdodrugsiamdrugs
    @idontdodrugsiamdrugs 3 роки тому +2

    This bit should’ve been called “Baby shit orange” 😆

  • @thebaddestlarry9424
    @thebaddestlarry9424 3 роки тому +3

    My daughter is 2 and I worry about this a lot. She's gonna grow up on a phone cause everyone is and to deny her that would just make her an outcast and things harder for her. Idk all's I can do is hope I make the right decisions and try not to let my emotions get the better of me. Cause she really is my whole world and she has me wrapped around her finger and she knows it.

  • @kw9568
    @kw9568 4 роки тому

    Awesome! Beautiful story. It's so vivid I could taste it! I felt like I could see him.

  • @A_Dopamine_Molecule
    @A_Dopamine_Molecule 6 років тому +17

    That girl's dad sounds so cool...

  • @leonidas6134
    @leonidas6134 4 роки тому +2

    The crowd doesn’t appreciate a good comic when they watch one. This dude is funny as fuck.

  • @jackkraken3888
    @jackkraken3888 7 років тому +7

    Wow this one was deeper than I expected. Great story Man.

  • @TimahR
    @TimahR 5 років тому +7

    Don't be fooled! These kids can have full coded conversations with emojis alone lol

  • @Tuber0722
    @Tuber0722 2 роки тому +1

    He flowed so perfectly holy cow

  • @gwoklung89
    @gwoklung89 5 років тому +9

    He has a very Malkovich like voice.

  • @jcroth2644
    @jcroth2644 5 років тому +2

    Love this guy! He is funny!!

  • @cmarq817
    @cmarq817 3 роки тому +1

    Saw him on Netflix and became big fan! Waiting for a second special!

  • @josephcalef5184
    @josephcalef5184 7 років тому +7

    Pretty funny, and a great story teller.

  • @nomadben
    @nomadben 5 років тому +2

    Never heard of this guy, he's great!

  • @danielpsi
    @danielpsi 4 роки тому

    Great timing and delivery...

  • @HealthyMBS1
    @HealthyMBS1 5 років тому +1

    High school 86-90. I can so relate to this story

  • @ther6989
    @ther6989 6 років тому +6

    Comedy. The last bastion of truth.

  • @amandadarling8184
    @amandadarling8184 6 років тому

    This was awesome...great story!

  • @bscottp666
    @bscottp666 6 років тому

    Great story. Love you Tom Papa.

  • @phil2288
    @phil2288 9 років тому +14

    just saw him on JRE, guy is funny!

  • @goldenwolf90
    @goldenwolf90 5 років тому +1

    Awesome story teller!

  • @sourabhgharde3107
    @sourabhgharde3107 4 роки тому

    This is one of the best stories from this is not happening... Best part is at the end!

  • @Hylss
    @Hylss 3 роки тому

    Loved this story.

  • @nelsonthibeau4480
    @nelsonthibeau4480 3 роки тому +1

    That father is what men should be to boys a fucking honest teacher even Papa probably realise the influence he has on his psyche all these years later..a fucking legend

  • @Allocution_TK
    @Allocution_TK 5 років тому +5

    This guy looks and sounds like he was happier to have daughters than he would be to have sons.

    • @sourabhgharde3107
      @sourabhgharde3107 4 роки тому

      And he's proud of them

    • @Allocution_TK
      @Allocution_TK 4 роки тому +1

      @@sourabhgharde3107 I honestly have no idea what I meant when I said this.

  • @andrewsemple692
    @andrewsemple692 9 років тому +3

    this man is HILARIOUS!!!!

  • @vascodegama5829
    @vascodegama5829 6 років тому

    Such a powerful story. Tom Papa kills!

  • @musicus77
    @musicus77 9 років тому

    One of the best ones

  • @daniellancaster4161
    @daniellancaster4161 Рік тому

    I watched ur stand up, not completely 100% agreement, but ur spot on, bravo!

  • @Leonsito96
    @Leonsito96 6 років тому +5

    Tom Papa is hilarious man, sometimes his other sets have me rolling in the ground but to be honest this one was not one of his best sets. Plus its a pretty common story, think every guy including myself has a story like this.

  • @caseyfrederick9521
    @caseyfrederick9521 5 років тому

    This guy is friggin awesome

  • @claire___
    @claire___ 5 років тому +1

    Oh I love Tom Papa, was hoping he'd be on here

  • @3340steve
    @3340steve 4 роки тому +1

    I love how he keeps saying the car name....

  • @damiondavis2037
    @damiondavis2037 5 років тому +5

    "I would find a drill and bolt her windows shut". WUT!?

  • @BoeingPrototype
    @BoeingPrototype 5 років тому

    I LOVE THIS GUY

  • @BFPBFPBFPBFP
    @BFPBFPBFPBFP 9 років тому +2

    We love you, Papa!

  • @JUSTaGURL213
    @JUSTaGURL213 9 років тому +2

    Lol great story!

  • @ATRTAP
    @ATRTAP 6 років тому

    Such delivery

  • @TyDie85
    @TyDie85 6 років тому

    AWESOME story :)

  • @lizdelisle1912
    @lizdelisle1912 5 років тому +1

    It’s time for a new special , Tom!

  • @gypsydanger2271
    @gypsydanger2271 4 роки тому

    Freakin Awesome! Rock on Tom!

  • @Rob_Mike_Litterst
    @Rob_Mike_Litterst 2 роки тому +1

    Tom Papa is just a natural, a rare breed, relatable with the large public and yet stays edgy like Stanhope.

  • @Madfattdeeb
    @Madfattdeeb 3 роки тому +2

    Back in high school my girlfriend's parents put locks on all all their dooks and windows that only they could open. Her father also showed me bullets with my name on them. No, for REAL!!
    Fast forward to 10 years ago when he passed away, he left me all his hurting gear, his whole library of mystery and science fiction books. We have three girls of our own now, and the oldest one as a boyfriend. He knows I can take him down, but also I treat him as one of my kids. He's a good kid, and reads scifi. 😊

  • @livefast7514
    @livefast7514 2 роки тому

    This guy Tom is HILARIOUS! Fuper sunny ftory

  • @partyendsat9235
    @partyendsat9235 3 роки тому

    Love this vid

  • @k_alexander7968
    @k_alexander7968 6 років тому

    i love​ this

  • @SmokeRingsPipeDreams
    @SmokeRingsPipeDreams 2 роки тому

    That was really a sweet story.

  • @zodaddy1187
    @zodaddy1187 6 років тому

    Thank you Tom Papa, for reminding us...
    - Everyone Else

  • @brianbudzynski1926
    @brianbudzynski1926 3 роки тому +1

    As an aspiring human I found his humor funny but semi mainstreamed. 2021 brings me hope of newness and fresh starts. Both in the comedy world and real life. Have a safe holiday folks

  • @user-it7ke1jy9y
    @user-it7ke1jy9y 4 роки тому +4

    in case y’all don’t know it’s 5-6 taps to skip the intros

  • @jewlsdecess542
    @jewlsdecess542 6 років тому

    tom papa can tell a great story

  • @TissDiss
    @TissDiss 9 років тому

    Tom's great.

  • @achienglilian6395
    @achienglilian6395 4 роки тому

    He is great🤩🤩🤩

  • @fossi31415
    @fossi31415 8 років тому +1

    I can relate to this story so much. This was the best story from this show thus far

  • @NealCaen
    @NealCaen 4 роки тому +4

    this is so funny to me because i actually got caught and it was the complete opposite of what he described her father was . I mean this man almost killed me i walked out the house in hand cuffs with my face barely recognizable 😹

  • @traceysouth1047
    @traceysouth1047 Рік тому

    hahaha well THAT just gave me flashbacks of my teen years ! LOL

  • @BoskoTheG
    @BoskoTheG 4 роки тому

    This man is gold!!!😂😂😂😂😂 #INeedMore

  • @benjaminconant2309
    @benjaminconant2309 4 роки тому

    Love this guy, no buts.