No, I'm describing a person with a high IQ. There are many autistic people that are also gifted, and the neurodivergent community refers to them as "twice exceptional." This label can also apply to a gifted and ADHD person. I've personally taken self-administered quizzes on both autism and ADHD and come up completely negative for either, and I also know a few other gifted people that definitely have no autistic tendencies/experiences. Checkout the resources I've listed at the bottom of the description if you're interested in learning more.
@@KSLewisLearning Out of curiosity have you looked at Embrace Autism online? It specifically looks at Autistic presentations in females, as most Autism assessments are geared to the typical male presentations. I feel that there is a higher link in those with high IQ who tend to be on the spectrum, The spectrum itself is so broad and has been very misunderstood through the years. I was diagnosed at 29 in 2018.
Sometimes I wonder if giftedness can be mistaken for autism because of the difficulty with communication. Add being Introverted and Intuitive (IN...MBTI type), and that adds to the social disconnect. This really makes it hard to explain myself in a conversation. I can name a few pieces of evidence for my opinion, but then I have to painstakingly show, one by one, how each piece of the puzzle fits with all the others. Other people think in a straight line. I think in a zig zag. I can get lonely by myself, but it's even lonelier being around people I can't connect with.
Oh yeah. Deeply knowing that you're on some right track but it's so hard to show to others and it feels like they think you just didn't think things through. I often just want to discuss things so that some creation and new visions happen because I really love that feeling of synergy, but I experience that people want to win the discussion rather than expand and explore.
I've heard one psychologist call it "eating a snack" when a gifted person socializes with typical people. We know we're not satisfied, but we know that we need to eat something to be a healthy and functioning person. Then we get together with another gifted mind and it feels like we're finally "eating a feast." Yes, I've actually chosen to tell a few people that I'm "neurodivergent," and they immediately jump to the conclusion that I'm autistic because they see the socialization differences.
Giftedness does share traits with both adhd and autism, which can lead to misdiagnosis if an individual is twice exceptional. I was shown to be gifted about 6th grade and many of my behaviors also mimic the autism spectrum, but some traits also mimic adhd. The big thing to be aware of is how others will perceive you if you adopt the gifted label.
Actually Its quite common for women to be diagnosed much later in life due to the way autism presents differently. It can present differently in males too then the stereotypical presentation. There is quite an overlap. Feeling alien, social struggles, giftedness are big markers of undiagnosed Autistic adults. I got to know I was gifted later in life along with a mild form of Autism I did not know I had which explained social struggles and unusual intensity in interests etc. I had a friend who thought he was just very introverted, I spoke about being diagnosed with Autism at one stage, he must of researched it because I found later that he had been diagnosed as Autistic.
It's easy to end up being the leader of a group... And then kind of seen as a parent. Almost like you're there to ruin their good time. When you're the voice of reason. Doesn't matter if you have a wild streak too. You're just seen as a wet blanket. Then years later, some folks come back to apologize You're just like yeah... I saw this train wreck going in slow motion. What can you do.
LOL that's exactly how people respond to me they act like high school teenagers and worse when someone is just out of high school and they even bully and abuse me over it acting like there's also something wrong with me for acting wise beyond my years like i'm somehow acting fake. They act like i'm some "authority figure" they have to rebel against like i'm some oppressive force, when little do they know i share their distrust for authority figures for a dozen good reasons people on the "gifted" spectrum usually do. They make me feel like i'm just being bossy and then go on to discrediting, triangulating, and ostracizing me for it when i'm not trying to be a killjoy at all. In fact i can have some pretty diablogical and chaotic moments sometimes but i'm guessing these are the people that were the class clowns and we know how unreasonable they can be, like everything has to be rebelled against no matter what it is, even things that don't need to be rebelled against that's doing them no harm, that's what makes them so unreasonable.
@@Harteo3917 ah, you were IDed as a gifted child too? how about that. people see standards they don't like to be reminded of. they also don't like that fact that those standards have everything to do with someone wanting to do the right thing and nothing to do with making others impressed. they are highly miffed at those who refuse to treat others according to their "station" as well. i can tell when someone finds me both attractive and intelligent, because they immediately set about trying *hard* to "gotcha" me on some kind of moral issue. it's like if only they can serve their referendum, then I am proven to not be the "full package", and therefore am not so great after all. 95% of the time, these people make sure to misunderstand me and use that as their "proof". and when i started performing music as a frontwoman and gaining fans? dear god, the dog-piling, the sabotaging, the "i can't hear you la la la la la la"... was insane. pathologically insane.
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 For me it was like people knew years before i understood it but it was like nobody ever wanted to explain it to me, at least i knew i was always different and it's hard not to notice really but i recognize this behavior even now people get angry i actually know what i'm on about lol at least the things i do know about. Now i just watch and wait until they finally turn around and need my help after all lol could be hours or days but i'll wait😂because they won't listen before that. iIm being bossy and invasive and the normies feel they're top rank and everyone else is under it so we shouldn't be listened to. Until of course they can't figure it out which is too often because they could actually be a lot more open minded about things but they also spend a lot of time minimizing themselves. Which ends up wasting a lot of time just so other people get their say but it's a waste of time when they don't know lol but they have to go through it all just to find that out. Maybe some of it is dragging things out so their manager doesn't expect too much of them but it's still so frustrating because things never go fast enough for me lol i know we can figure this out a lot more quickly but they don't want to there's a general aversiveness to things it drives me crazy.
@@Harteo3917 true, they really don't listen until they're in a place to accept information. if it's someone i really find repugnant, i'll tell them the truth in a concise, very strong fashion even though they're not ready. then one day when they realize i was right, they stay away forever out of shame and pissiness. good riddance. :) ofc, at work things are more complicated. "normies". haha. they are always straining to be seen as "totally normal completely normal nothing weird here!1" meanwhile, basically every worthwhile historical figure, all the greats...yeah. none of them were normies.
@@Harteo3917 oh look, my response was deleted. oh well. all my best comments are on a clipboard app and i'm arranging them into a few different books. the comment deleted here will probably be useful. normies don't make history. they are boring and lame. they take pride in their normieness and then get mad that they don't feel "special". lol. special means you take risks, children. X)
I started crying violently in public while watching this because it validates so much of my experience especially the difficulty finding people who match you, think like you, feeling alien, masking etc :( thanks so much for this
Based on my raw IQ score, I am not considered gifted....however, I do share many of the qualities of gifted people and score in the lower range of genius in 2 subsets of IQ. Yes, exactly. When I meet somebody who is at my IQ level or higher, it does indeed feel like meeting a fellow native speaker of my language. I get so excited and engage in sone serious verbal diarrhea, bouncing from one engaging topic to another. 😊
The issue I have had is that because I am somewhat well spoken, people don't always take me seriously when I tell them that I am struggling with my mental health. The feedback I have received at times was incredulous. "For a depressed person you sure do explain things well." "For somebody who's having such a hard time, you really don't sound like it when you talk."
I mask with cheerfulness, so very few have any clue how I'm truly feeling. Then, on the rare occasion I open up, some have responded with disbelief at what I'm going through, because, "you're always so happy!". ☠️
Hi Kathleen, I'm from Brazil, and I just want to say that you described me in great detail in this video! I've been going through a lot recently, and then I discovered giftedness. Your video helped me realize I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing your story with us! God bless you.✨
I'm from Brasil as well, you're definitely not alone. Pq eu tô falando em inglês? Eu só gostaria de conhecer mais pessoas por perto de mim, pra ter um grupo de amigos que me entendessem
I'm Autistic and creatively gifted. Not sure of my IQ but it seems like its higher than adverage. Chat GPT thinks so lollol. People get triggered by my intellect and their own projections. Women hate me because I'm conventionally attractive, which also makes it hard to make friends as they are jealous and my life is extremely hard bc if trauma and hEDS, but no one cares bc they are too busy competing. Fellow Autists are the bomb
I identify with everything said, except no substance abuse but get addicted to challenging puzzle games and constantly have to delete the games. Also I have a good self esteem thanks to my parents and all Glory to God! I struggle with feelings of depression, wishing and praying that Jesus can come for His Church because this life feels so meaningless...
I’m Autistic with an IQ between 125-130. It’s rare find people I can connect with and relate to. I feel all of these. I never believe all the praise and/or compliments I get. I always feel like no, I’m not that good, I could be better and because I’m not better, I’m not good lol When I talk to people they always tell me how intelligent I am, that I’m wise well beyond my years, praise my musical talent, my vivid memory, even things going back to childhood describing events and places with exact details. Due to the ASD, I’m always learning and educating myself. My wife is always saying I’m so smart and I make her feel stupid because she can’t comprehend how I cram so much knowledge in my head in such a short amount of time. Im not bragging either. It feels like a curse half the time. Im so misunderstood, it’s hard to make friends. People tend to think I’m just a know it all because I typically always have a solution or correct answer for things they find difficult to grasp. Being both Autistic and having high intellectual capabilities while basically being socially r*tarded sucks and is lonely af. Especially with the downfalls of the Autism that limit me in certain ways. It’s really a hellish existence for me. And i have ADHD and BPB as comorbidities with the ASD…shit sucks with my mental health. It’s a lot to deal with. I feel like a loser in some aspects because it holds me back. No one in my little rural southern area gets me. And not in a mean way, but they’re all relatively low IQ. Barely literate, always drinking, cant pronounce a lot of words right, struggle with basic math, cant comprehend abstract ideas or anything. I get looked at like I’m from another planet, or like I’m insulting them somehow.
I think this comment wiould make a lot of people feel like they are not the only one who experience this. Your situation sounds really difficult, especially the area you live in. I have a feeling you would feel positively different in another environment. It takes a lot of daily energy to adapt in this situation. It makes me thankful that I live in an area /country where I can morre easily find my people - my tribe. Reading your story, would be good a movie script.
Thank you and God bless you... It's not only about the accuracy of the giftedness challenges description. It's also about all your compassion that is a true gift for us who listen. This video moved me to tears as I am once again in my life at that point where I need to figure out how to make the best and overcome the challenges of giftedness...
I gave up masking. I realized it is a waste of time and energy. When you find people that you can trust, it is kind to you and authentic and enjoy your company, you don’t need to mask, you are free to be yourself. Awful people will still be awful even if you mask so, who cares about what they think about you?
I have trouble with the difference of being gifted and being on the spectrum. I was diagnosed with being on the spectrum with a splinter skill. I feel like everything you mention is what I described in my assessment to being on the spectrum. I really feel like the spectrum is not divided enough yet to differentiate both.
I agree. I believe most psychologists are uninformed about giftedness, so there are a ton of misdiagnoses or non-identification of gifted individuals. I have heard multiple people express a desire to see more research on the overlaps between autism, giftedness, and ADHD because we notice many similarities between these groups of neurodivergent people especially since "twice exceptionalities" are common.
I was recently tested at the 99th percentile at Mensa Singapore, and have an estimated IQ of 150+. I agree with many things you've said, just that a few points I think you were being vague or couldn't pinpoint. The instinct, gut feeling is really more of our superior logic, we've assessed the situation/methods that someone else says and we know it doesn't make much sense and that it wouldn't work, or we have already worked out a better plan with fewer, more efficient steps. Being intelligent can be so lonely, not having anyone to relate to and having to navigate around people's feelings. Having to constantly filter your words and avoid stating your opinion because it would upset people as your opinion is very different from the popular one, it requires critical thinking and logic that the average person is simply incapable of. Intelligence is basically one's degree of logic. When one possess superior logic, one has superior intelligence. Having superior logic grants better critical thinking skills, reasoning ability, fluid reasoning which allows one to evaluate better, weigh the pros and cons, compare the options and make the optimal choices. Logic is the building block of intelligence. Logic is intelligence itself.
I appreciate your clarification help! I believe our thinking patterns go a little beyond logic though based on some of the things I've been reading about the neurology of a gifted brain. Yes, we have a greater capacity for logic, but there is an extremely large creative component that pure logic doesn't account for in my opinion. Sometimes it's so hard to describe our experiences to someone who doesn't have the same viewpoint. It's like one of those rare people that can see ultraviolet light explaining what they see to the rest of us!
Isn’t it weird to talk about your iq on the internet? I am married to someone with likely that iq and he couldn’t care less about having that iq, never mentions it.
@@di3486 It's likely that you assume I'm boastful or lying about my IQ. I've stated it as a reference point despite what you might think. Higher IQ correlates with degree of logic, allowing one to see things clearer and with better understanding. That's the point that I'm driving at.
All of that lol although i'm not so on the perfectionist side but there are some obsessive tendencies that run from my dads side oh all three of us me, my dad, and my brother are like this but my brother the most but my dad can find it hard to let go of things too he'll just keep going and going even when something can't be fixed. As a female i'm a lot more chill and calculated so i can assess and see straight away if something won't work while my brother and dad act like typical men that will stubbornly keep going even when it's a fail from the start lol and i'm just there signing and rolling my eyes😂Sadly there's a lot of shame there so there's no acceptance of my dad being "gifted" and possibly my brother too they don't think it's important not even my mum because of old fashioned views. I may obsess about things though but not to their degree mainly i find it's a result of anxiety and rumination that makes me obsess over things i don't like not having control over things, feeling like an imposter and like an alien really adds to that for sure which is imposter syndrome but honestly it's not our faults we feel that so much really when people do want to make us feel like that too so i think hugely exacerbates those feelings. Frankly i was and still in the same boat you are in my middle 30s because nobody wanted to explain to me what was going on even after a test i had done in my last year of primary school, everyone went on to pretending that didn't happen but used it to bully and abuse me including people who think they're teachers, i was just constantly whacked over the head and made to feel unwelcome where i finally had to leave the education system around 23 after worsening abusive behaviors at my local college. I've figured out the best ways for me to do things and it turned out be pretty simple and i like to go for the most realistic, organized, time saving, and simple as possible way of doing things which is like everyone really although my way would still be deemed "takes too much time and too complicated" lol because nobody wants me to think realistically or clearly even about myself. There is no reasonable conversations or solutions to be had with most people it must be this archaic, illogical, and unrealistic way that leads us to failure not any kind of success or solutions i don't know how anyone functions like that no wonder nothing gets done. It's more than half assing it lol it makes zero sense how our world can function in such a way mind boggling. I don't find myself leaping so giantly towards conclusions though personally i really need to take notes, use step by step instructions, and stay organized because i guess in that way i function pretty rigidly like i need that to stay track and on top of everything i'm doing otherwise i just lose my train of thought and my mind starts wondering frequently lol. I guess it's because of my anxiety and rumination but also a much more intense imagination than others so a lot of the time what's going on in my thoughts can seem a lot more interesting, so i need a pad, pencil, my clipboard and to just sit and focus on exactly what i'm doing. I'm the same way with my sleeping too i have such a lack of self control over my sleeping pattern but when i go to bed everything has to be off otherwise it keeps me awake. However i frequently look ahead at what's coming next so i can connect the dots and understand a few things earlier before i get to it, i was always told off not to do this but i have to do it and frankly it's beneficial to other people to do this too. It's more the education system functioning very rigidly but it's not exactly how any human functions people need to see what's coming next to prepare themselves. The only reason they do it is to intentionally slow us down because they won't have any material left and well... the teachers think you're just trying to get them in trouble and show them up big egos lol it's wrong to expect anyone to function like that. We on the "gifted" spectrum definitely do it a lot more than other people though and i find other people can't keep up with me eventually once i've learned enough. Omg yes about conversations going too slowly i hate it because i feel like people are just being dumb lol although a lot of the time they are just to "fit in" but a lot of people really get frustrated because they were actually excited to explain things to me but i don't need 10 steps for each step i just figure it out and i take in information a lot faster, i'm just like "Okay. Alright. So that's that and this is that. Gotcha! simples" lol i can connect the information so much faster so it can be a killjoy for other people😂They expect me to function at their level constantly though but i can't the best i can do is simplify how i explain something to them in plain english but i'm not going into 10 steps per step no thanks that's not my job lol.
Thank you for your video. It's comforting to know we are not alone, but understanding myself in this way doesn't seem to make things any easier and I continue to find life (relations with people) incredibly painful. One area in particular is the gifted curse of have a heightened and more nuanced perception of fairness and justice - it's out of sync with most people who, for example, would choose to defend one person who is a friend over righting something that is unfair to others at the expense of the friend that has been benefiting from the injustice thus far. It leads to being ostracized by peers who cannot see or refuse to acknowledge the inequity. It leads to being bullied. In one instance, this characteristic almost became an asset, as I was recruited for a job that fought for social justice...but one jealous person in a position of power managed to convince a whole committee of people to oust and vilify me to sabatoge my chance of getting the job. Though the job description called for social justice, I realized later that the politics of getting and keeping the job did not, and in fact required quite the opposite. One way to deal with this curse would be to just not care anymore and give up or let go; go with the flow. However, the cognitive dissonance of witnessing and letting inequities persist is like a shredding of the soul and leads to feeling like a coward just too chicken to do the right thing - which lowers my sense of self worth and makes me feel miserable. There is no winning. Anyway, I don't know if you have an answer for this, or if you can relate, but I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts. If I'm so gifted and smart, why can't I find a solution? All I can find is perpetual frustration, anger, and deep sadness.
I hear you. I've not had trouble to the extent you have with social injustice, but I think that's mostly because I've intentionally chosen to disengage after a few experiences in highschool. I don't have a solution, but I think there is peace in understanding that our reality is different from those with the typical brain. We need to choose to accept and honor that some people have different viewpoints than we do just as we wish typical people could understand and respect our different experiences. I hope you can find a safe space to express your need to improve social injustice! Or maybe just a specific person who can defend and advocate for your perspective.
Same here! It's really telling that so many gifted people just give up and become entrepeneurs. It would be one thing if people just didn't understand us, but the small-minded jealousy and cruelty are too much.
You described exactly what i always feel the world around me disgusts me because of mt sense of justice and needing what's right but i'm always ostracized for it too because people are bent these days, they don't want you uncovering all the fraud that's going on why everything is so messed up because it's all driven towards that not actually doing any good or being nice to people i kept learning that the hard way. The best you can do is learn to be more tact and know when and where you belong not mistaking justice for getting involved with bad people because there's a lot of cult behaviors going on, so they make things sound appealing but it's the opposite they only want cult followers that will do anything they want them to blindly. So research things and places thoroughly before you even accept any interviews or whatever else because they probably thought you might be naive enough but we know nothing can be hid from us lol.
Everyone thought I had adhd, did the very lengthy tests, turns out Im on the 1% of IQ curve, dont have adhd and the neuropsychologist applying the test arrived at the conclusion that im gifted. They way I like to describe what you said about the gut feeling is by an analogy of texture and taste of food. While the person is talking, their arguments have a "texture", just like an apple, so I feel the texture of the apple in my mouth at the beginning of their argument, while they are talking I analyse, by the taste, to see if it is indeed an apple or something very similar, by the end of their point I know it is an apple and can deliver my point of view if the apple is a good or bad pathway.
That's an interesting illustration!! From what I've read, gifted people tend to be excellent at creating illustrations about a concept to help others understand it... and we tend to create a lot of illustrations. Also, have you heard of synesthesia? Your illustration just made me think you might be one of those amazing people who experience it! 🙂
For me it's like this knowing pressure and then i'm dying to get it out and say something. While i'm learning though I thought i was a weirdo for this but when my brain is going off my nose starts to go too i'm like sniffing as if i'm smelling something my nostrils are flaring and my eyes are wide like i'm come upon something super important. It's as if i've narrowed in on something exquisitely tasty but it's a reaction to me being super in the zone and my brain is firing so fast and smoothly all the synapses firing my spidey senses tingling i'm absolutely sharply focused and i feel alive🙂It was doing it the whole time i typed that too lol my nose was going because the intellectual stimulus is exciting to talk about. There's no smell to things i just start smelling i think it's to do with how i really feel and sense things so my senses are tingling. I feel like a mouse or a beaver with their nose and whiskers rapidly flaring and twitching when their instincts and intuition starts going off lol first funny images that come to my head.
Omg…you summed it up perfectly! All 15minutes and the one second explained what it’s like to a T. I wonder if there a place besides the typical spaces to meet other folx organically
The only group for the gifted adult that I'm aware of is through the organization Intergifted. I've not tried it myself, but I've read the testimonies that say it's amazing.
Hi there. I am a brazilian gifted, and I found out it only a few months ago, since my 10 years-old son started having lots of problems at school, until we took him to a psychologist and discovered he is gifted. Since then, I watched literally all the videos about giftness in Portuguese, and now I am watching in English and French. And each video I find something new that I didn't know. I had the very same bad experiences as you did, and I am not happy for that, but it's a relief knowing the reason, and also I am not alone.
This is 100% me! Especially the skip thinking and processing speed. And learning social scripts to keep going, and playing a small portion of my mind to pay attention until it's time for me to express myself.
if you are "gifted", then you are neurodivergent. It´s an umbrella concept (ASD, ADHD, dislexya, etc) There are often overlapping diagnoses, you can be asd and gifted at the same time, AsD and ADHD, etc
@@pedrova8058 I started to disagree that the gifted are really neurodivergent, but when I thought about it, I realized it is a plausible (although not "slam dunk") interpretation of this right tail phenomenon. BTW, I like how you spelled dyslexia, because I assume it was done for humorous effect (but maybe not???).
This all sounds like the experience of a neurodivergent person, tbh. I know many gifted people who don’t seem to have these issues. I am gifted also, and I have most of these problems, but it’s mostly because of my ADHD and chronic depression/ anxiety.
You're correct; this is a very common list of problems for the neurodivergent, and gifted people are neurodivergent. In my research on autism, ADHD, and giftedness, I found many common experiences, but the cause/source of the difficulties appears to be different. For example, perfectionism for an autistic person is usually about controlling their environment to help create a sense of safety, and I've heard many ADHD people are perfectionistic out of a desire to be accepted by others or to try to compensate for what they perceive as personal weaknesses. Of course, anxiety could also play a role too for the ADHD person's perfectionism. From the research I've read as well as personal experience, a gifted person usually is perfectionistic in trying to accomplish a vision on a project as pictured in their mind, which makes this brand of perfectionism the result of an internal, impossible standard, not an emotional safety net or the need to please someone else. As with ADHD, I believe there are gifted people with severe anxiety who's perfectionism shows up as OCD as well. The other thing I didn't make clear in the video about the gifted person is that we're great at hiding most of these issues from others. My closest friends and family members had no idea I was depressed for years, and co-workers never knew I had social issues because I am so great at internalizing things and just getting through with life. There is a profoundly gifted psychologist, Jenn, who tried to find help with her depression and existential issues years ago, but the colleague she sought help from told her that she was a perfectly well-adjusted individual and didn't need help. Jenn had to take a sabbatical from her practice to figure things out, and now she's one of the few psychologists in the world who specialize in helping in the gifted through their emotional needs. You can check her out on her website Intergifted!
With my 8 yo, fortunately that “big picture thinking,” helps her keep perspective. Teachers become more critical of social mistakes the better you “blend in,” but we remember daily that she isn’t there for her teachers. The more successful you become at social interactions, the more invisible that work is, especially new teachers. It is an inverse reward system: most humans derive benefits from social success, where socially-challenged individuals are punished for their success with ever increasing scrutiny, criticism, and demands to do better in the form of increased workload. Humans respond to reward instead of punishment as a general rule. Punishments for success are demoralizing and depressing. She may be gifted, but she may as well be playing an away game with jet lag.
I was diagnosed ADHD inattentive a few months ago, after my son was diagnosed ADHD and gifted. I was diagnosed gifted yesterday. I struggle to find resources for adults.
Yes, finding resources for the newly diagnosed gifted adult is hard, but I'm also learning that practical resources are also scarce for gifted kids as well because most literature focuses on academic needs rather than social/emotional/psychological. Intergifted is really the best organization I've found so far for us adults, so be sure to check them out!
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!! Is it is true for me conversations are super slow!! I also need retreat time to reflect upon what I have been doing!! I also feel that I am not contributing ( as you mention) in the big picture problems in the world that I can see there are lots of things to solve or improve in the big scale like politics, social and economic issues but I am not taking a part on them! The individual life of work, family, sleep is not enough for me!
I don't know if I'm gifted, but I have been accused of it by a few people. I have always doubted my own intellect. I have a tendency to feel inferior to others, particularly in my field, and it drives me insane. My field: I am infatuated with theoretical physics. My appreciation for the subject may seem superficial, because I am seduced by the mathematical beauty and elegance, even more so than the truth itself. I find data analysis and experimental science to be boring and dull. I can't stand it. I find the depth that comes with theoretical and foundational analysis much more stimulating, often, again, because it is accompanied by a pseudo-aesthetic appeal. And idk what it is about small talk, but it feels very mechanical. I have a list of algorithms on how it should proceed in every conversation, and it's painfully banal to employ it every time. There is also a level of unpredictability in conversations. I don't know if it's due to ADHD, but the fact that I cannot always predict certain things (not what the other person is going to say, but how they may react) drives me insane. Some of my role models are/were gifted people. Isaac Newton, Mozart, Richard Feynman, Elon Musk, etc.
"Accuse" is an interesting word choice! I get your implication though. Yes, it is crazy that though we may excel in our chosen professions, we the gifted can be so negative about our own capabilities. Many people I've interacted with are convinced that there is a strong unproven connection between giftedness, autism, and ADHD, so it's possible you could fall into a combination of the 3 somewhere. I encourage you to find true answers using the resources I list in the description because I personally felt such relief to finally have a framework of my brain and psychology that makes sense!
@@KSLewisLearning There is a link between giftedness and autism because there are dozens of genes (at least) which contribute to both higher IQ & larger brain size, and also increase risk for autism. However, there does not seem to be any link with ADHD except to the extent that individuals high in both IQ and Openness - to - experience (or one or more of its facets) may sometimes be misdiagnosed as ADHD. Individuals high in both IQ and Openness are also sometimes diagnosed with 'overexcitabilities," a bogus diagnosis since they are really just high on a personality factor which interacts with high intelligence.
I am 30 y. o. and takes me a long time to understand that "What do you say?" means almost everytime "Explain me it more slowly and with easier words". Haha. For real a little tired of being the leader figure for the people in almost every group interaction and try to assume that a lot of people (even people with decades older than me) have a childish mentality and basic point of view of the reality. But there is always the option of read Kant or Einstein books, and chill hearing Chopin. =)
I am mildly gifted and my old community college friends were moderately gifted and my old highschool buddy from cross country was profoundly gifted. My community college and college friends I don't know. But they may be mildly gifted to moderately gifted. My parents are gifted in one area each so maybe they are savants? I don't know.
Same. My sister and I are gifted. My sister has trouble making friends because of her demeanor and attitude but also thinks she's frustrated because of her intelligence.
I experienced that so many times. I always hide myself (mask), eating unhealthy things that make me nervous about getting cancer again, just to be perceived as normal, or because I'm misunderstood, or I again talked about 'boring' things all the time, I supposedly have ' so much energy'. I guess they're right, but it's difficult not to. Or when I think movies are illogical, I ll loose my attention, or when I get on my old friends nerves when they're watching a movie and I'm reading beside them, and tell them new facts, what I read in their mum's anatomy lexicon at halv twelve pm. and they don't care at that time. My mum didn't even knew that she too had it, that her masking wasn't the norm, she thought everybody feels it that way but nobody talks about it. Wich is weird because why would she then need to mask? And she also always takes responsibility for everyone else, like she's a project manager which she is not, but she gets the projects done and she is never happy with herself. You're listing all the things that happened to her or me one way or another. That's the first time I watch such a good UA-cam video. I had brain cancer in the cerebellum and thus had some atrophy but my brain reorganised itself in 8 weeks and the surgeons haven't seen that before as well. So I guess the plasticity or the gifted brains ability to cope made me not as damaged as I otherwise could have been. I was paralized and had paranthesis in the right side of the face and it all disappeared (only the ear is deaf, that's all the bad). I'm beeing extremely aware of carcinogens, toxins in food and therefore beeing very self restricted and anxious, that's maybe one of the downsides and of course I'm never proud as you described it. 😂 I'm pursuing two degrees, finished one and keep on with the other one, but I read so many books and want to learn so many other things that I almost can't do my degree as good as I could If I would have so high standards. So even if I'm aware, it's almost a little like a curse as well. I calculated to have read approx 520000 pages and know the sigma value is above average but I still feel amazingly empty and stupid. Why is this perfectionism feeling so strong? (very aware of that it may seem braggy or narcissistic in the comments, but you'll understand me I'm sure. ) I loved alcohol the first time I tried it, as well as smoking, and quit it immediately because I knew I loved it way too much. But when I was introduced to coffee I didn't thought of it beeing addictive now ever since I'm a little coffee junkie
Great question! From what I've learned from other people and parents, you have 2 options. 1) Use a therapist that specialize in giftedness. Unfortunately, it looks like SENG removed their list of specialists from their website, so an already rare specialist is harder to find. You might find success with a Google search in for your closest large city, but I personally haven't found one in my city of several million doesn't have one. 2) Find a regular therapist that you feel comfortable with and who is willing to learn about giftedness and its impact on your experience. I have heard great things about this option, but it would be a learning curve for both of you. I hope you find the support you need!
Great question! I'm going to avoid using the term "intelligence" in the hopes that I can be clearer in my explanation. I have a neurodiverse brain that is faster and more flexible than a typical brain, which does enable me to learn information quickly and understand complex subjects with greater ease than a typical person. However, that does not mean a typical person could never learn the same information through hard work and a longer time frame. Here is the way this reality plays out in my marriage: I'm married to a mechanical engineer who has achieved his masters degree and knows a lot more math and physics than I ever learned through formal education. We both greatly enjoy discussing theory in any number of subject areas, and this shared desire is all from our personality preferences, not a reflection on IQ. My lack of advanced education in physics and math just means my husband has to take 2-5 minutes to give me a quick summary of a subject that I may not be familiar with, and then we can discuss whatever related concept to both his and my satisfaction. If it's a subject or idea that I'm explaining to him, I may have to take 15-30 minutes to completely build out the concepts for him to achieve the same level of understanding, but he does get there and then we can discuss the idea more. Both my husband and I find our conversations very fun and stimulating, but I believe that's because my husband is a "typically-brained" intellectual. Most "typically-brained" people don't want to put in the effort needed to learn something new so they can socialize with a gifted person's current interest, so that is one of the key barriers to being "merrily" married. Another key issue is our commitment to each other. We both want to put in the work to make this marriage a success. We both respect each other's differing abilities and value those differences. I greatly value the steadiness that comes from my husband: his steady emotions through a conversation that I'm starting to get upset about because he isn't getting it yet, his steady determination to resolve conversations/conflicts until I feel heard and understood, and his steady determination to stand by me through all my gifted chaos that I talk about in this video. There are very few neurotypical people out there willing to put in the work to amicably socialize with gifted, autistic, and/or ADHD people, so it is amazing when you do find these "normal" people.
@@KSLewisLearning Thank you for your wonderful answer! First of all I am truly glad that you have found such a great husband and that you both live marriage the way it should be lived imho! I can truly relate, bc I have the same kind of marriage. Have you ever considered that it could be personality preferences and a reflection on IQ? I understand you don't like the term intelligence, and I don't like what it triggers in people, but I'll úse it anyways because it seems to be the correct term to me. So I guess that your husband is at least not very much less intelligent than you are (considering his wish for and ability to learn from you). The difference in grasping speed could be explained by the complexity of the topic. Physics is very simple compared to e.g. social dynamics. You can explain the basics of quantum entanglement much faster and less complex than the basics of the behaviour of a 14 year-old girl. Try to explain what you explain to your husband within needed 30 minutes to an IQ 90 someone who wants to listen to and understand you within the same time. I predict you'll fail. Nevertheless I fully concur that finding someone you can harmonize with intellectually is true bliss and uncommon. Especially intelligent women tend to marry unbelievably bad imho. What should people like you do to improve the chances to meet someone like your husband? (This is a topic I'm very interested in, bc I think that the right spouse is both the biggest task and the biggest source of happiness if managed to find).
The challenge of being ‘gifted’ is to think you’re ‘gifted’. Just like most no 1 draft picks almost always do very poorly. I have met a lot of really smart people. And I know a lot of former child prodigy’s. Very very verrrry few ever succeed in life because they cling on to the notion they’re ’gifted’. Well, 99.999% are really good at something at a young age. But once they reach early adulthood. That advantage pretty much disappears. And hard work takes over and ‘talent’ takes a back seat. Just look at child actors. Same thing.
You’re completely disregarding the fact that gifted minds work differently than neurotypical minds, and don’t assimilate easily into society. There’s research that shows that the highest earners are often not the most intelligent. That’s because society values being adaptable and useful in exchange for money. Those are often not gifted people’s strength.
As the father, I can tell you that she is gifted. I can think of a few options why you would assume otherwise. 1) You might be mixing up autism and giftedness in how you expect her to present herself. 2) You expect her to be like gifted people as presented by pop culture who do not appear to be "down to earth" in their interactions, which presentation is completely false in reality. 3) You have a misunderstanding of what being gifted actually is. I encourage you to find out more! There are great videos at the Colorado Association for the Gifted and Talented, and many of those presentations are done by gifted people.
@K.S. Lewis Learning: I love that (1) you're sitting on the floor and (2) your video is 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 15 minutes long. As someone in the 99.997 percentile with a daughter in the 99.9997 percentile (weird about the "7" in both cases) I got to both experience and also watch someone else's experiences, from infancy to adulthood. One thing my wife and I encountered is that our daughter became 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭 early on that she had to work extra hard to develop the ability to pursue things she was not immediately successful with. I also recall when I was around eight or so that I became overtly frustrated with others who didn't "get it" quickly. What's wrong with them, I thought. It took time to realize 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 was wrong with them. They were normal.
Full disclosure: the 15 minutes was entirely accidental! 🙂 You put your own experience and your daughters so eloquently. That's exactly what I've been observing myself.
I wish there were more content directed at gifted adults rather than just children.
you are describing autism
No, I'm describing a person with a high IQ. There are many autistic people that are also gifted, and the neurodivergent community refers to them as "twice exceptional." This label can also apply to a gifted and ADHD person. I've personally taken self-administered quizzes on both autism and ADHD and come up completely negative for either, and I also know a few other gifted people that definitely have no autistic tendencies/experiences. Checkout the resources I've listed at the bottom of the description if you're interested in learning more.
@@KSLewisLearning interesting.
Autism and giftedness share many traits.
@@KSLewisLearning Out of curiosity have you looked at Embrace Autism online? It specifically looks at Autistic presentations in females, as most Autism assessments are geared to the typical male presentations. I feel that there is a higher link in those with high IQ who tend to be on the spectrum, The spectrum itself is so broad and has been very misunderstood through the years. I was diagnosed at 29 in 2018.
I agree.
Sometimes I wonder if giftedness can be mistaken for autism because of the difficulty with communication. Add being Introverted and Intuitive (IN...MBTI type), and that adds to the social disconnect. This really makes it hard to explain myself in a conversation. I can name a few pieces of evidence for my opinion, but then I have to painstakingly show, one by one, how each piece of the puzzle fits with all the others. Other people think in a straight line. I think in a zig zag. I can get lonely by myself, but it's even lonelier being around people I can't connect with.
Oh yeah. Deeply knowing that you're on some right track but it's so hard to show to others and it feels like they think you just didn't think things through. I often just want to discuss things so that some creation and new visions happen because I really love that feeling of synergy, but I experience that people want to win the discussion rather than expand and explore.
I've heard one psychologist call it "eating a snack" when a gifted person socializes with typical people. We know we're not satisfied, but we know that we need to eat something to be a healthy and functioning person. Then we get together with another gifted mind and it feels like we're finally "eating a feast."
Yes, I've actually chosen to tell a few people that I'm "neurodivergent," and they immediately jump to the conclusion that I'm autistic because they see the socialization differences.
@@KSLewisLearning I do wonder whether I'm gifted or high functioning autistic. I know I'm gifted, so that's most likely the case.
Giftedness does share traits with both adhd and autism, which can lead to misdiagnosis if an individual is twice exceptional. I was shown to be gifted about 6th grade and many of my behaviors also mimic the autism spectrum, but some traits also mimic adhd. The big thing to be aware of is how others will perceive you if you adopt the gifted label.
Actually Its quite common for women to be diagnosed much later in life due to the way autism presents differently. It can present differently in males too then the stereotypical presentation.
There is quite an overlap. Feeling alien, social struggles, giftedness are big markers of undiagnosed Autistic adults. I got to know I was gifted later in life along with a mild form of Autism I did not know I had which explained social struggles and unusual intensity in interests etc. I had a friend who thought he was just very introverted, I spoke about being diagnosed with Autism at one stage, he must of researched it because I found later that he had been diagnosed as Autistic.
It's easy to end up being the leader of a group... And then kind of seen as a parent. Almost like you're there to ruin their good time. When you're the voice of reason. Doesn't matter if you have a wild streak too. You're just seen as a wet blanket. Then years later, some folks come back to apologize You're just like yeah... I saw this train wreck going in slow motion. What can you do.
LOL that's exactly how people respond to me they act like high school teenagers and worse when someone is just out of high school and they even bully and abuse me over it acting like there's also something wrong with me for acting wise beyond my years like i'm somehow acting fake.
They act like i'm some "authority figure" they have to rebel against like i'm some oppressive force, when little do they know i share their distrust for authority figures for a dozen good reasons people on the "gifted" spectrum usually do. They make me feel like i'm just being bossy and then go on to discrediting, triangulating, and ostracizing me for it when i'm not trying to be a killjoy at all.
In fact i can have some pretty diablogical and chaotic moments sometimes but i'm guessing these are the people that were the class clowns and we know how unreasonable they can be, like everything has to be rebelled against no matter what it is, even things that don't need to be rebelled against that's doing them no harm, that's what makes them so unreasonable.
@@Harteo3917 ah, you were IDed as a gifted child too? how about that.
people see standards they don't like to be reminded of. they also don't like that fact that those standards have everything to do with someone wanting to do the right thing and nothing to do with making others impressed. they are highly miffed at those who refuse to treat others according to their "station" as well.
i can tell when someone finds me both attractive and intelligent, because they immediately set about trying *hard* to "gotcha" me on some kind of moral issue. it's like if only they can serve their referendum, then I am proven to not be the "full package", and therefore am not so great after all. 95% of the time, these people make sure to misunderstand me and use that as their "proof".
and when i started performing music as a frontwoman and gaining fans? dear god, the dog-piling, the sabotaging, the "i can't hear you la la la la la la"... was insane. pathologically insane.
@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 For me it was like people knew years before i understood it but it was like nobody ever wanted to explain it to me, at least i knew i was always different and it's hard not to notice really but i recognize this behavior even now people get angry i actually know what i'm on about lol at least the things i do know about.
Now i just watch and wait until they finally turn around and need my help after all lol could be hours or days but i'll wait😂because they won't listen before that. iIm being bossy and invasive and the normies feel they're top rank and everyone else is under it so we shouldn't be listened to.
Until of course they can't figure it out which is too often because they could actually be a lot more open minded about things but they also spend a lot of time minimizing themselves. Which ends up wasting a lot of time just so other people get their say but it's a waste of time when they don't know lol but they have to go through it all just to find that out.
Maybe some of it is dragging things out so their manager doesn't expect too much of them but it's still so frustrating because things never go fast enough for me lol i know we can figure this out a lot more quickly but they don't want to there's a general aversiveness to things it drives me crazy.
@@Harteo3917 true, they really don't listen until they're in a place to accept information. if it's someone i really find repugnant, i'll tell them the truth in a concise, very strong fashion even though they're not ready. then one day when they realize i was right, they stay away forever out of shame and pissiness.
good riddance. :)
ofc, at work things are more complicated.
"normies". haha. they are always straining to be seen as "totally normal completely normal nothing weird here!1"
meanwhile, basically every worthwhile historical figure, all the greats...yeah. none of them were normies.
@@Harteo3917 oh look, my response was deleted. oh well. all my best comments are on a clipboard app and i'm arranging them into a few different books. the comment deleted here will probably be useful.
normies don't make history. they are boring and lame. they take pride in their normieness and then get mad that they don't feel "special". lol. special means you take risks, children. X)
You also learn to expect success by virtue of natural talent alone, without having to struggle for it. This becomes a problem later in life
I started crying violently in public while watching this because it validates so much of my experience especially the difficulty finding people who match you, think like you, feeling alien, masking etc :( thanks so much for this
Good ol ugly cry in the starbucks is good for the character ;D
Based on my raw IQ score, I am not considered gifted....however, I do share many of the qualities of gifted people and score in the lower range of genius in 2 subsets of IQ.
Yes, exactly. When I meet somebody who is at my IQ level or higher, it does indeed feel like meeting a fellow native speaker of my language.
I get so excited and engage in sone serious verbal diarrhea, bouncing from one engaging topic to another. 😊
The issue I have had is that because I am somewhat well spoken, people don't always take me seriously when I tell them that I am struggling with my mental health. The feedback I have received at times was incredulous. "For a depressed person you sure do explain things well."
"For somebody who's having such a hard time, you really don't sound like it when you talk."
I mask with cheerfulness, so very few have any clue how I'm truly feeling. Then, on the rare occasion I open up, some have responded with disbelief at what I'm going through, because, "you're always so happy!". ☠️
Hi Kathleen, I'm from Brazil, and I just want to say that you described me in great detail in this video! I've been going through a lot recently, and then I discovered giftedness. Your video helped me realize I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing your story with us! God bless you.✨
You are not alone. I'm also from Brazil.
I'm from Brasil as well, you're definitely not alone. Pq eu tô falando em inglês? Eu só gostaria de conhecer mais pessoas por perto de mim, pra ter um grupo de amigos que me entendessem
I'm Autistic and creatively gifted. Not sure of my IQ but it seems like its higher than adverage. Chat GPT thinks so lollol. People get triggered by my intellect and their own projections. Women hate me because I'm conventionally attractive, which also makes it hard to make friends as they are jealous and my life is extremely hard bc if trauma and hEDS, but no one cares bc they are too busy competing. Fellow Autists are the bomb
I identify with everything said, except no substance abuse but get addicted to challenging puzzle games and constantly have to delete the games. Also I have a good self esteem thanks to my parents and all Glory to God! I struggle with feelings of depression, wishing and praying that Jesus can come for His Church because this life feels so meaningless...
Check, check, check, check all of them. Thank you for sharing.
I’m Autistic with an IQ between 125-130. It’s rare find people I can connect with and relate to. I feel all of these. I never believe all the praise and/or compliments I get. I always feel like no, I’m not that good, I could be better and because I’m not better, I’m not good lol When I talk to people they always tell me how intelligent I am, that I’m wise well beyond my years, praise my musical talent, my vivid memory, even things going back to childhood describing events and places with exact details. Due to the ASD, I’m always learning and educating myself. My wife is always saying I’m so smart and I make her feel stupid because she can’t comprehend how I cram so much knowledge in my head in such a short amount of time. Im not bragging either. It feels like a curse half the time. Im so misunderstood, it’s hard to make friends. People tend to think I’m just a know it all because I typically always have a solution or correct answer for things they find difficult to grasp. Being both Autistic and having high intellectual capabilities while basically being socially r*tarded sucks and is lonely af. Especially with the downfalls of the Autism that limit me in certain ways. It’s really a hellish existence for me. And i have ADHD and BPB as comorbidities with the ASD…shit sucks with my mental health. It’s a lot to deal with. I feel like a loser in some aspects because it holds me back. No one in my little rural southern area gets me. And not in a mean way, but they’re all relatively low IQ. Barely literate, always drinking, cant pronounce a lot of words right, struggle with basic math, cant comprehend abstract ideas or anything. I get looked at like I’m from another planet, or like I’m insulting them somehow.
I think this comment wiould make a lot of people feel like they are not the only one who experience this. Your situation sounds really difficult, especially the area you live in. I have a feeling you would feel positively different in another environment. It takes a lot of daily energy to adapt in this situation. It makes me thankful that I live in an area /country where I can morre easily find my people - my tribe. Reading your story, would be good a movie script.
Th is me. It’s hard to find friends who share my interests, who I don’t have to backtrack and explain to. And I Hate banal conversations.
Thank you and God bless you... It's not only about the accuracy of the giftedness challenges description. It's also about all your compassion that is a true gift for us who listen. This video moved me to tears as I am once again in my life at that point where I need to figure out how to make the best and overcome the challenges of giftedness...
I gave up masking. I realized it is a waste of time and energy. When you find people that you can trust, it is kind to you and authentic and enjoy your company, you don’t need to mask, you are free to be yourself. Awful people will still be awful even if you mask so, who cares about what they think about you?
Wow. I turn 70 next month (Oct. 2024) and this is like you describe my interior life completely. AND a lot of overlaid trauma, too. Wow.
I have trouble with the difference of being gifted and being on the spectrum. I was diagnosed with being on the spectrum with a splinter skill. I feel like everything you mention is what I described in my assessment to being on the spectrum. I really feel like the spectrum is not divided enough yet to differentiate both.
I agree. I believe most psychologists are uninformed about giftedness, so there are a ton of misdiagnoses or non-identification of gifted individuals. I have heard multiple people express a desire to see more research on the overlaps between autism, giftedness, and ADHD because we notice many similarities between these groups of neurodivergent people especially since "twice exceptionalities" are common.
I was recently tested at the 99th percentile at Mensa Singapore, and have an estimated IQ of 150+. I agree with many things you've said, just that a few points I think you were being vague or couldn't pinpoint. The instinct, gut feeling is really more of our superior logic, we've assessed the situation/methods that someone else says and we know it doesn't make much sense and that it wouldn't work, or we have already worked out a better plan with fewer, more efficient steps. Being intelligent can be so lonely, not having anyone to relate to and having to navigate around people's feelings. Having to constantly filter your words and avoid stating your opinion because it would upset people as your opinion is very different from the popular one, it requires critical thinking and logic that the average person is simply incapable of.
Intelligence is basically one's degree of logic. When one possess superior logic, one has superior intelligence. Having superior logic grants better critical thinking skills, reasoning ability, fluid reasoning which allows one to evaluate better, weigh the pros and cons, compare the options and make the optimal choices. Logic is the building block of intelligence. Logic is intelligence itself.
I appreciate your clarification help! I believe our thinking patterns go a little beyond logic though based on some of the things I've been reading about the neurology of a gifted brain. Yes, we have a greater capacity for logic, but there is an extremely large creative component that pure logic doesn't account for in my opinion.
Sometimes it's so hard to describe our experiences to someone who doesn't have the same viewpoint. It's like one of those rare people that can see ultraviolet light explaining what they see to the rest of us!
Isn’t it weird to talk about your iq on the internet? I am married to someone with likely that iq and he couldn’t care less about having that iq, never mentions it.
@@di3486 It's likely that you assume I'm boastful or lying about my IQ. I've stated it as a reference point despite what you might think. Higher IQ correlates with degree of logic, allowing one to see things clearer and with better understanding. That's the point that I'm driving at.
@@kaidestinyz No, I am not assuming anything. I just said blasting the number is unnecessary, but you do you honey.
@@di3486 Given the context, it isn't. And I hope that my previous explanation made that clear.
All of that lol although i'm not so on the perfectionist side but there are some obsessive tendencies that run from my dads side oh all three of us me, my dad, and my brother are like this but my brother the most but my dad can find it hard to let go of things too he'll just keep going and going even when something can't be fixed. As a female i'm a lot more chill and calculated so i can assess and see straight away if something won't work while my brother and dad act like typical men that will stubbornly keep going even when it's a fail from the start lol and i'm just there signing and rolling my eyes😂Sadly there's a lot of shame there so there's no acceptance of my dad being "gifted" and possibly my brother too they don't think it's important not even my mum because of old fashioned views.
I may obsess about things though but not to their degree mainly i find it's a result of anxiety and rumination that makes me obsess over things i don't like not having control over things, feeling like an imposter and like an alien really adds to that for sure which is imposter syndrome but honestly it's not our faults we feel that so much really when people do want to make us feel like that too so i think hugely exacerbates those feelings. Frankly i was and still in the same boat you are in my middle 30s because nobody wanted to explain to me what was going on even after a test i had done in my last year of primary school, everyone went on to pretending that didn't happen but used it to bully and abuse me including people who think they're teachers, i was just constantly whacked over the head and made to feel unwelcome where i finally had to leave the education system around 23 after worsening abusive behaviors at my local college.
I've figured out the best ways for me to do things and it turned out be pretty simple and i like to go for the most realistic, organized, time saving, and simple as possible way of doing things which is like everyone really although my way would still be deemed "takes too much time and too complicated" lol because nobody wants me to think realistically or clearly even about myself. There is no reasonable conversations or solutions to be had with most people it must be this archaic, illogical, and unrealistic way that leads us to failure not any kind of success or solutions i don't know how anyone functions like that no wonder nothing gets done. It's more than half assing it lol it makes zero sense how our world can function in such a way mind boggling.
I don't find myself leaping so giantly towards conclusions though personally i really need to take notes, use step by step instructions, and stay organized because i guess in that way i function pretty rigidly like i need that to stay track and on top of everything i'm doing otherwise i just lose my train of thought and my mind starts wondering frequently lol. I guess it's because of my anxiety and rumination but also a much more intense imagination than others so a lot of the time what's going on in my thoughts can seem a lot more interesting, so i need a pad, pencil, my clipboard and to just sit and focus on exactly what i'm doing. I'm the same way with my sleeping too i have such a lack of self control over my sleeping pattern but when i go to bed everything has to be off otherwise it keeps me awake.
However i frequently look ahead at what's coming next so i can connect the dots and understand a few things earlier before i get to it, i was always told off not to do this but i have to do it and frankly it's beneficial to other people to do this too. It's more the education system functioning very rigidly but it's not exactly how any human functions people need to see what's coming next to prepare themselves. The only reason they do it is to intentionally slow us down because they won't have any material left and well... the teachers think you're just trying to get them in trouble and show them up big egos lol it's wrong to expect anyone to function like that. We on the "gifted" spectrum definitely do it a lot more than other people though and i find other people can't keep up with me eventually once i've learned enough.
Omg yes about conversations going too slowly i hate it because i feel like people are just being dumb lol although a lot of the time they are just to "fit in" but a lot of people really get frustrated because they were actually excited to explain things to me but i don't need 10 steps for each step i just figure it out and i take in information a lot faster, i'm just like "Okay. Alright. So that's that and this is that. Gotcha! simples" lol i can connect the information so much faster so it can be a killjoy for other people😂They expect me to function at their level constantly though but i can't the best i can do is simplify how i explain something to them in plain english but i'm not going into 10 steps per step no thanks that's not my job lol.
"your small photography business that you do enjoy does not really contribute anything to the big picture" - wait, you made this video for ME??
GREAT COMMENT
Thank you for your video. It's comforting to know we are not alone, but understanding myself in this way doesn't seem to make things any easier and I continue to find life (relations with people) incredibly painful. One area in particular is the gifted curse of have a heightened and more nuanced perception of fairness and justice - it's out of sync with most people who, for example, would choose to defend one person who is a friend over righting something that is unfair to others at the expense of the friend that has been benefiting from the injustice thus far. It leads to being ostracized by peers who cannot see or refuse to acknowledge the inequity. It leads to being bullied. In one instance, this characteristic almost became an asset, as I was recruited for a job that fought for social justice...but one jealous person in a position of power managed to convince a whole committee of people to oust and vilify me to sabatoge my chance of getting the job. Though the job description called for social justice, I realized later that the politics of getting and keeping the job did not, and in fact required quite the opposite. One way to deal with this curse would be to just not care anymore and give up or let go; go with the flow. However, the cognitive dissonance of witnessing and letting inequities persist is like a shredding of the soul and leads to feeling like a coward just too chicken to do the right thing - which lowers my sense of self worth and makes me feel miserable. There is no winning. Anyway, I don't know if you have an answer for this, or if you can relate, but I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts. If I'm so gifted and smart, why can't I find a solution? All I can find is perpetual frustration, anger, and deep sadness.
I hear you. I've not had trouble to the extent you have with social injustice, but I think that's mostly because I've intentionally chosen to disengage after a few experiences in highschool. I don't have a solution, but I think there is peace in understanding that our reality is different from those with the typical brain. We need to choose to accept and honor that some people have different viewpoints than we do just as we wish typical people could understand and respect our different experiences.
I hope you can find a safe space to express your need to improve social injustice! Or maybe just a specific person who can defend and advocate for your perspective.
Same here! It's really telling that so many gifted people just give up and become entrepeneurs. It would be one thing if people just didn't understand us, but the small-minded jealousy and cruelty are too much.
You described exactly what i always feel the world around me disgusts me because of mt sense of justice and needing what's right but i'm always ostracized for it too because people are bent these days, they don't want you uncovering all the fraud that's going on why everything is so messed up because it's all driven towards that not actually doing any good or being nice to people i kept learning that the hard way.
The best you can do is learn to be more tact and know when and where you belong not mistaking justice for getting involved with bad people because there's a lot of cult behaviors going on, so they make things sound appealing but it's the opposite they only want cult followers that will do anything they want them to blindly. So research things and places thoroughly before you even accept any interviews or whatever else because they probably thought you might be naive enough but we know nothing can be hid from us lol.
Everyone thought I had adhd, did the very lengthy tests, turns out Im on the 1% of IQ curve, dont have adhd and the neuropsychologist applying the test arrived at the conclusion that im gifted. They way I like to describe what you said about the gut feeling is by an analogy of texture and taste of food. While the person is talking, their arguments have a "texture", just like an apple, so I feel the texture of the apple in my mouth at the beginning of their argument, while they are talking I analyse, by the taste, to see if it is indeed an apple or something very similar, by the end of their point I know it is an apple and can deliver my point of view if the apple is a good or bad pathway.
That's an interesting illustration!! From what I've read, gifted people tend to be excellent at creating illustrations about a concept to help others understand it... and we tend to create a lot of illustrations.
Also, have you heard of synesthesia? Your illustration just made me think you might be one of those amazing people who experience it! 🙂
For me it's like this knowing pressure and then i'm dying to get it out and say something. While i'm learning though I thought i was a weirdo for this but when my brain is going off my nose starts to go too i'm like sniffing as if i'm smelling something my nostrils are flaring and my eyes are wide like i'm come upon something super important.
It's as if i've narrowed in on something exquisitely tasty but it's a reaction to me being super in the zone and my brain is firing so fast and smoothly all the synapses firing my spidey senses tingling i'm absolutely sharply focused and i feel alive🙂It was doing it the whole time i typed that too lol my nose was going because the intellectual stimulus is exciting to talk about. There's no smell to things i just start smelling i think it's to do with how i really feel and sense things so my senses are tingling.
I feel like a mouse or a beaver with their nose and whiskers rapidly flaring and twitching when their instincts and intuition starts going off lol first funny images that come to my head.
This is my son, who is now in college, 100 %!!! I shared this with him.
Omg…you summed it up perfectly! All 15minutes and the one second explained what it’s like to a T.
I wonder if there a place besides the typical spaces to meet other folx organically
The only group for the gifted adult that I'm aware of is through the organization Intergifted. I've not tried it myself, but I've read the testimonies that say it's amazing.
@@KSLewisLearning thank you so much for even acknowledging my question and I will look it up
Hi there. I am a brazilian gifted, and I found out it only a few months ago, since my 10 years-old son started having lots of problems at school, until we took him to a psychologist and discovered he is gifted.
Since then, I watched literally all the videos about giftness in Portuguese, and now I am watching in English and French. And each video I find something new that I didn't know.
I had the very same bad experiences as you did, and I am not happy for that, but it's a relief knowing the reason, and also I am not alone.
Yes! You are not alone. I'm so glad I can share what I'm learning so that others can find support and healing.
The thing you said about "speaking your native tongue" is soooooooooooo real. OMG
This is 100% me! Especially the skip thinking and processing speed. And learning social scripts to keep going, and playing a small portion of my mind to pay attention until it's time for me to express myself.
Yup. Pretty much. That’s me. I’d LOVE LOVE to find other gifted people to interact with! Hard to find here in the UK😢
I was confused for a Neurodiviergent student because of my intelligence.
if you are "gifted", then you are neurodivergent. It´s an umbrella concept (ASD, ADHD, dislexya, etc) There are often overlapping diagnoses, you can be asd and gifted at the same time, AsD and ADHD, etc
@@pedrova8058 I started to disagree that the gifted are really neurodivergent, but when I thought about it, I realized it is a plausible (although not "slam dunk") interpretation of this right tail phenomenon. BTW, I like how you spelled dyslexia, because I assume it was done for humorous effect (but maybe not???).
I was placed in remedial classes in school because I was unruly or distracted by daydreams.
This all sounds like the experience of a neurodivergent person, tbh. I know many gifted people who don’t seem to have these issues. I am gifted also, and I have most of these problems, but it’s mostly because of my ADHD and chronic depression/ anxiety.
You're correct; this is a very common list of problems for the neurodivergent, and gifted people are neurodivergent.
In my research on autism, ADHD, and giftedness, I found many common experiences, but the cause/source of the difficulties appears to be different. For example, perfectionism for an autistic person is usually about controlling their environment to help create a sense of safety, and I've heard many ADHD people are perfectionistic out of a desire to be accepted by others or to try to compensate for what they perceive as personal weaknesses. Of course, anxiety could also play a role too for the ADHD person's perfectionism. From the research I've read as well as personal experience, a gifted person usually is perfectionistic in trying to accomplish a vision on a project as pictured in their mind, which makes this brand of perfectionism the result of an internal, impossible standard, not an emotional safety net or the need to please someone else. As with ADHD, I believe there are gifted people with severe anxiety who's perfectionism shows up as OCD as well.
The other thing I didn't make clear in the video about the gifted person is that we're great at hiding most of these issues from others. My closest friends and family members had no idea I was depressed for years, and co-workers never knew I had social issues because I am so great at internalizing things and just getting through with life. There is a profoundly gifted psychologist, Jenn, who tried to find help with her depression and existential issues years ago, but the colleague she sought help from told her that she was a perfectly well-adjusted individual and didn't need help. Jenn had to take a sabbatical from her practice to figure things out, and now she's one of the few psychologists in the world who specialize in helping in the gifted through their emotional needs. You can check her out on her website Intergifted!
With my 8 yo, fortunately that “big picture thinking,” helps her keep perspective. Teachers become more critical of social mistakes the better you “blend in,” but we remember daily that she isn’t there for her teachers.
The more successful you become at social interactions, the more invisible that work is, especially new teachers. It is an inverse reward system: most humans derive benefits from social success, where socially-challenged individuals are punished for their success with ever increasing scrutiny, criticism, and demands to do better in the form of increased workload. Humans respond to reward instead of punishment as a general rule. Punishments for success are demoralizing and depressing.
She may be gifted, but she may as well be playing an away game with jet lag.
She isn’t there for the teachers. ❤
I was diagnosed ADHD inattentive a few months ago, after my son was diagnosed ADHD and gifted. I was diagnosed gifted yesterday. I struggle to find resources for adults.
Yes, finding resources for the newly diagnosed gifted adult is hard, but I'm also learning that practical resources are also scarce for gifted kids as well because most literature focuses on academic needs rather than social/emotional/psychological. Intergifted is really the best organization I've found so far for us adults, so be sure to check them out!
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!! Is it is true for me conversations are super slow!! I also need retreat time to reflect upon what I have been doing!! I also feel that I am not contributing ( as you mention) in the big picture problems in the world that I can see there are lots of things to solve or improve in the big scale like politics, social and economic issues but I am not taking a part on them! The individual life of work, family, sleep is not enough for me!
Yes, the "thinking" time is so important for us!
I don't know if I'm gifted, but I have been accused of it by a few people. I have always doubted my own intellect. I have a tendency to feel inferior to others, particularly in my field, and it drives me insane. My field: I am infatuated with theoretical physics. My appreciation for the subject may seem superficial, because I am seduced by the mathematical beauty and elegance, even more so than the truth itself. I find data analysis and experimental science to be boring and dull. I can't stand it. I find the depth that comes with theoretical and foundational analysis much more stimulating, often, again, because it is accompanied by a pseudo-aesthetic appeal.
And idk what it is about small talk, but it feels very mechanical. I have a list of algorithms on how it should proceed in every conversation, and it's painfully banal to employ it every time. There is also a level of unpredictability in conversations. I don't know if it's due to ADHD, but the fact that I cannot always predict certain things (not what the other person is going to say, but how they may react) drives me insane.
Some of my role models are/were gifted people. Isaac Newton, Mozart, Richard Feynman, Elon Musk, etc.
"Accuse" is an interesting word choice! I get your implication though. Yes, it is crazy that though we may excel in our chosen professions, we the gifted can be so negative about our own capabilities.
Many people I've interacted with are convinced that there is a strong unproven connection between giftedness, autism, and ADHD, so it's possible you could fall into a combination of the 3 somewhere. I encourage you to find true answers using the resources I list in the description because I personally felt such relief to finally have a framework of my brain and psychology that makes sense!
@@KSLewisLearning There is a link between giftedness and autism because there are dozens of genes (at least) which contribute to both higher IQ & larger brain size, and also increase risk for autism. However, there does not seem to be any link with ADHD except to the extent that individuals high in both IQ and Openness - to - experience (or one or more of its facets) may sometimes be misdiagnosed as ADHD. Individuals high in both IQ and Openness are also sometimes diagnosed with 'overexcitabilities," a bogus diagnosis since they are really just high on a personality factor which interacts with high intelligence.
I am 30 y. o. and takes me a long time to understand that "What do you say?" means almost everytime "Explain me it more slowly and with easier words". Haha. For real a little tired of being the leader figure for the people in almost every group interaction and try to assume that a lot of people (even people with decades older than me) have a childish mentality and basic point of view of the reality. But there is always the option of read Kant or Einstein books, and chill hearing Chopin. =)
I am mildly gifted and my old community college friends were moderately gifted and my old highschool buddy from cross country was profoundly gifted. My community college and college friends I don't know. But they may be mildly gifted to moderately gifted. My parents are gifted in one area each so maybe they are savants? I don't know.
100% my experience in life. Thank you for sharing.
Same. My sister and I are gifted. My sister has trouble making friends because of her demeanor and attitude but also thinks she's frustrated because of her intelligence.
I experienced that so many times. I always hide myself (mask), eating unhealthy things that make me nervous about getting cancer again, just to be perceived as normal, or because I'm misunderstood, or I again talked about 'boring' things all the time, I supposedly have ' so much energy'. I guess they're right, but it's difficult not to. Or when I think movies are illogical, I ll loose my attention, or when I get on my old friends nerves when they're watching a movie and I'm reading beside them, and tell them new facts, what I read in their mum's anatomy lexicon at halv twelve pm. and they don't care at that time.
My mum didn't even knew that she too had it, that her masking wasn't the norm, she thought everybody feels it that way but nobody talks about it. Wich is weird because why would she then need to mask? And she also always takes responsibility for everyone else, like she's a project manager which she is not, but she gets the projects done and she is never happy with herself. You're listing all the things that happened to her or me one way or another. That's the first time I watch such a good UA-cam video. I had brain cancer in the cerebellum and thus had some atrophy but my brain reorganised itself in 8 weeks and the surgeons haven't seen that before as well. So I guess the plasticity or the gifted brains ability to cope made me not as damaged as I otherwise could have been. I was paralized and had paranthesis in the right side of the face and it all disappeared (only the ear is deaf, that's all the bad). I'm beeing extremely aware of carcinogens, toxins in food and therefore beeing very self restricted and anxious, that's maybe one of the downsides and of course I'm never proud as you described it. 😂 I'm pursuing two degrees, finished one and keep on with the other one, but I read so many books and want to learn so many other things that I almost can't do my degree as good as I could If I would have so high standards. So even if I'm aware, it's almost a little like a curse as well. I calculated to have read approx 520000 pages and know the sigma value is above average but I still feel amazingly empty and stupid. Why is this perfectionism feeling so strong? (very aware of that it may seem braggy or narcissistic in the comments, but you'll understand me I'm sure. ) I loved alcohol the first time I tried it, as well as smoking, and quit it immediately because I knew I loved it way too much. But when I was introduced to coffee I didn't thought of it beeing addictive now ever since I'm a little coffee junkie
Thank you for sharing this. Super validating.
I'm always the leader of my friend group unless my other friends are more gifted than I.
Great video, I have a few of what you listed. 👽✨
Wow. I can really relate. I am curious about what to do about it so I’ll check out the resources you mentioned in the description next.
I can relate to this. People tell me I’m like beavis all the time.
Nice channel! I can relate to everything you say.
How do you handle depression? Where do you find therapists who gets you?
Great question! From what I've learned from other people and parents, you have 2 options. 1) Use a therapist that specialize in giftedness. Unfortunately, it looks like SENG removed their list of specialists from their website, so an already rare specialist is harder to find. You might find success with a Google search in for your closest large city, but I personally haven't found one in my city of several million doesn't have one. 2) Find a regular therapist that you feel comfortable with and who is willing to learn about giftedness and its impact on your experience. I have heard great things about this option, but it would be a learning curve for both of you.
I hope you find the support you need!
I could not have imagined someone with high intelligence married merrily to a normal intelligent person. How can you enjoy communication?
Great question! I'm going to avoid using the term "intelligence" in the hopes that I can be clearer in my explanation. I have a neurodiverse brain that is faster and more flexible than a typical brain, which does enable me to learn information quickly and understand complex subjects with greater ease than a typical person. However, that does not mean a typical person could never learn the same information through hard work and a longer time frame.
Here is the way this reality plays out in my marriage: I'm married to a mechanical engineer who has achieved his masters degree and knows a lot more math and physics than I ever learned through formal education. We both greatly enjoy discussing theory in any number of subject areas, and this shared desire is all from our personality preferences, not a reflection on IQ. My lack of advanced education in physics and math just means my husband has to take 2-5 minutes to give me a quick summary of a subject that I may not be familiar with, and then we can discuss whatever related concept to both his and my satisfaction. If it's a subject or idea that I'm explaining to him, I may have to take 15-30 minutes to completely build out the concepts for him to achieve the same level of understanding, but he does get there and then we can discuss the idea more. Both my husband and I find our conversations very fun and stimulating, but I believe that's because my husband is a "typically-brained" intellectual. Most "typically-brained" people don't want to put in the effort needed to learn something new so they can socialize with a gifted person's current interest, so that is one of the key barriers to being "merrily" married.
Another key issue is our commitment to each other. We both want to put in the work to make this marriage a success. We both respect each other's differing abilities and value those differences. I greatly value the steadiness that comes from my husband: his steady emotions through a conversation that I'm starting to get upset about because he isn't getting it yet, his steady determination to resolve conversations/conflicts until I feel heard and understood, and his steady determination to stand by me through all my gifted chaos that I talk about in this video.
There are very few neurotypical people out there willing to put in the work to amicably socialize with gifted, autistic, and/or ADHD people, so it is amazing when you do find these "normal" people.
@@KSLewisLearning Thank you for your wonderful answer!
First of all I am truly glad that you have found such a great husband and that you both live marriage the way it should be lived imho! I can truly relate, bc I have the same kind of marriage.
Have you ever considered that it could be personality preferences and a reflection on IQ?
I understand you don't like the term intelligence, and I don't like what it triggers in people, but I'll úse it anyways because it seems to be the correct term to me.
So I guess that your husband is at least not very much less intelligent than you are (considering his wish for and ability to learn from you). The difference in grasping speed could be explained by the complexity of the topic. Physics is very simple compared to e.g. social dynamics. You can explain the basics of quantum entanglement much faster and less complex than the basics of the behaviour of a 14 year-old girl.
Try to explain what you explain to your husband within needed 30 minutes to an IQ 90 someone who wants to listen to and understand you within the same time. I predict you'll fail.
Nevertheless I fully concur that finding someone you can harmonize with intellectually is true bliss and uncommon.
Especially intelligent women tend to marry unbelievably bad imho.
What should people like you do to improve the chances to meet someone like your husband? (This is a topic I'm very interested in, bc I think that the right spouse is both the biggest task and the biggest source of happiness if managed to find).
Exactly
The irony!
The challenge of being ‘gifted’ is to think you’re ‘gifted’. Just like most no 1 draft picks almost always do very poorly. I have met a lot of really smart people. And I know a lot of former child prodigy’s. Very very verrrry few ever succeed in life because they cling on to the notion they’re ’gifted’. Well, 99.999% are really good at something at a young age. But once they reach early adulthood. That advantage pretty much disappears. And hard work takes over and ‘talent’ takes a back seat. Just look at child actors. Same thing.
You’re completely disregarding the fact that gifted minds work differently than neurotypical minds, and don’t assimilate easily into society. There’s research that shows that the highest earners are often not the most intelligent. That’s because society values being adaptable and useful in exchange for money. Those are often not gifted people’s strength.
You don't seem gifted. Possibly the child's father is gifted.
As the father, I can tell you that she is gifted. I can think of a few options why you would assume otherwise. 1) You might be mixing up autism and giftedness in how you expect her to present herself. 2) You expect her to be like gifted people as presented by pop culture who do not appear to be "down to earth" in their interactions, which presentation is completely false in reality. 3) You have a misunderstanding of what being gifted actually is. I encourage you to find out more! There are great videos at the Colorado Association for the Gifted and Talented, and many of those presentations are done by gifted people.
Spoken like a true hater.
@K.S. Lewis Learning: I love that (1) you're sitting on the floor and (2) your video is 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 15 minutes long. As someone in the 99.997 percentile with a daughter in the 99.9997 percentile (weird about the "7" in both cases) I got to both experience and also watch someone else's experiences, from infancy to adulthood. One thing my wife and I encountered is that our daughter became 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭 early on that she had to work extra hard to develop the ability to pursue things she was not immediately successful with. I also recall when I was around eight or so that I became overtly frustrated with others who didn't "get it" quickly. What's wrong with them, I thought. It took time to realize 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 was wrong with them. They were normal.
Full disclosure: the 15 minutes was entirely accidental! 🙂
You put your own experience and your daughters so eloquently. That's exactly what I've been observing myself.
@KSLewisLearning Intuitive accidental maybe 😂