How To Get Over A Breakup: What I've Learned
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- Опубліковано 24 лют 2023
- Getting Through A Breakup is one of the hardest things anybody has to go through. This video is for how to get over a breakup. - The Love Chat
Going Through A Breakup? Work with me!: www.thelovechat.net/coaching
If you would like Professional Therapy: www.BetterHelp.com/Rory (You receive a discount with this link - I am sponsored by BetterHelp and receive a commission!)
You're stronger than you know - give yourself time to heal!
Need Relationship Advice? Work with me!: www.thelovechat.net/coaching
If you would like Professional Therapy: www.BetterHelp.com/Rory (You receive a discount with this link - I am sponsored by BetterHelp and receive a commission!)
After 2 years out of a painful divorce (13 years of marriage), I can guarantee that what you are listening to is a 100% precise. Hold on and listen to Rory.. We are all survivors here or there!
I’ve been 3 months in no contact it does get better with time, you begin to accept yourself and being happy within your own mind.
As someone who's experienced being the dumper and the dumpee, I can confirm that even after more than 10 years, the girl that I dumped who was actually an incredible, sweet, and pretty girl, still pops up in my mind and I still feel guilt about dumping and hurting her. She didn't deserve that. That's specially the case now that an ex of 7 years has dumped me and now I'm thinking that maybe if I didn't dump that other girl long ago, I wouldn't be in this position of pain and devastation after being dumped. While the guilt of dumping someone has never really made me suicidal or put me into utter devastation like being dumped has, I do think and hope that this misery of being dumped will fade away specially if I meet someone new, and I do believe that the guilt of dumping a really good girl will remain with me until my end, unless I get back together with her and make it up to her somehow.
My ex and I just broke up 10 mins ago lol this video couldn’t be more perfectly timed
I'm sorry to hear this - take it one day at a time.
Keep your head up!!
Be kind to yourself ❤
How are you holding up
This time last year was my first heart break. I found Rory’s channel and he’s help a lot. Looking back at my break I realized it was probably best for the both of us. Man I still kinda miss her tho. Thanks Rory!
never thought that ill be back again here in your channel, rory! i stayed here when i got my first break up and got better then i found someone new and now it just ended, and i'm going through another pain, heart ache haha. i need you again rory.
Been with this channel since my breakup 7 months ago. I did a shit job at no contact. And I know it hurt my chances.
But I swear the universe is giving us another chance. I went for a hike last week i haven't been on for over 8 months and we ran into each other. It was really nice. I invited her over for dinner and we kissed, among other things.
Despite having done a lot of the wrong things after the breakup, I still worked on myself. Switched to a much better career, raised a puppy, started going out, started seeing a therapist...I'm going to keep that up.
Anyway, she wants a little more space still, but also wants to see me again and wants to talk to each other again. she just started seeing a therapist as well and has a lot to work through-I would not take her back if she didn't do this because she has a lot of past trauma since childhood. I think if I had done no contact things would be better now, but she is interested in working through things in the future.
If things keep moving forward, I want to make sure we both do better. I've learned so much during this time, even though it has been the most challenging months of my life
How did it go?
Hey update?
@vrilginitymaxxer yes, we are married now haha!
No I am not going through a break up right now. But 2 years ago your videos helped me a lot on getting over a break up I was going through. I was sad for almost a year but Eventually with time I got over it.
Absolutely nailed it 👌🏼
I have literally binged listend to every single one of your vids on Apple Podcast. Keep them coming you're always ON POINT
I appreciate that!
Great stuff as always Rory. Can’t say how impactful your stuff was several months ago when i was going through it. Safe to say to all, it does get better and can’t emphasize enough how important working on yourself is. You all got this!
Much appreciated!!
Space is important …think of music.
Music happens in the space between the notes.
You’re amazing! You kind of sound like Joe goelberg from YOU, the show. I love your podcasts! Thank you so much for taking the time and for finding the best advice for healthy relationships. The world needs more and your content is so beautiful.
Thank u for this video.
Here we go again.. hello I'm back.
Just in time, I’m not going through a break up up but a break with my partner Thanks Rory, really needed this
You are very welcome. All my best to you!
@@TheLoveChat thanks Rory, really appreciate the kind words…
I do have a quick question, in regards to my partner and I going on a break should I go into nc despite us agreeing that we check in with one another every 2 weeks when we were going over the terms of the break? I’d go in-depth but I put my situation on the discord server. Thanks for the help Rory
Thank you
Am very proud of you Rory for you healed my heart and soul. You are so knowledgeable in the faculty of broken hearts and the best coach amongst all I listened to. A huge thank you sir.
Thank you for this comment - It means a lot!!
So glad to see you back! What’s the discord! Also my ex randomly came around to see how I was doing and to brag bout her new relationship. She was going through my room to see if I had a gf. But I don’t think if she was happy she’d hit me up. She’s wrong for that I wouldn’t hit an ex up if I was happy.
discord.gg/nduz7QKF
LOL this is literally me, Rory.
we are in the middle 20s (25 to be exaact), i got toooo comfortable with him and one day he just told me he doesn't know what he wanted to do with his life and he's lost feelings for me. He's going through his quarter life crisis quite apparently. I am devastated but all I'm gonna do is no contact, i care less day by day. Thank you.
also you are right - i had nothing going on apart from work and my ex. he said he feels pressured because i relied all my happiness on him (which is quite true)...... i'm learning my lesson now and i won't make the same mistake in my next relationship!
How are you now?@@Sparksflymich
That's all true IF the ex doesn't suffer from NPD or BPD.
My Ex broke up with me for 5 times, ghosted me, hoovered me back in... Yes, i'm a weakling, i know and nobody has to tell me what i already know.
But everytime i started "no contact", she reached out after 20-35 Days...
We broke up again last months and i've been in NC for 3 weeks.
Yesterday she reached out, called me and said, she misses me, loves me, wants to see me.
Today i woke up and noticed, that she blocked me again.
I wrote her an E-Mail and told her - "leave me alone".
Feels so bad because i love my Ex with BPD so much... but i can't take it anymore...
True BPD & NPD is quite rare. In my experience people tend to put titles/diagnoses on their EX. In reality it's important to let a mental health professional make that diagnoses.
If you're having trouble staying consistent with No Contact the best thing to do is arrange a series of accountability measures, friends you can call, times where your phone is turned off, maybe block her number, etc.
@@TheLoveChat You're right, but my Ex was diagnosed with BPD with NPD traits by multiple therapists... I'm a self aware co- dependant.
Getting into therapy is quite difficult in germany...
I've blocked her everytime she broke up with me after long periods of Push/Pull behaviors but she always found a way to reach out to me...
Hell, she even reached out on PSN one time...
Sounds like she needs DBT
@@TheLoveChat a lot of people who are diagnosed with BPD are actually misdiagnosed because there symptoms are actually triggered from trauma
Another great video. Rory please can I make a suggestion? Please can you make an "SOS I really NEED to message my ex" video? Everything you say is right. But I need to be told no, don't do it. It's begging, it will make you look unattractive, the anxiety of is she even missing me is horrible. Thanks!
Keep it up
Hello Rory! I just new to your channel and I love it, your advice is helping me through my break up 🙏 Could you recommend some books helpful during times of breakups? I can't find the video where you reviewed them 😅
One month post BU…My ex is moving to a country for work(we were both meant to go) feels hopeless…
we broke up two months ago, i went to no contact, its been a little more than a month, she always was watching my stories and sometimes even liking, i wasnt reacting, and now she unfollowed me from insta, and made that i dont follow her as well. but she kept my girl friend in her followers and stalks her stories even though she doesnt follow her. is this a good sign or not?
So I dated a love bomber for 3 weeks he broke it off from me and texted goodbye ..I don’t want to text him and not look desperate but I’m tryna to forget him
i was working with my ex(6months) and it was rough i was trying my best. But now i just learned that she is pregnant and she is still single. It broke me i dont really know how to deal with it and it made me quit my job
Rory what’s your views on the law of attraction (manifestation) when it comes to relationships.
Do not believe in the law of attraction as it is presented on UA-cam. It is a simple trick of the mind where you adopt the behaviors of an archetype you wish to be. "Law Of Attraction" doesn't magically make someone else come back because of "vibrations"
Hey Rory! Real quick help please, i emotionally exhausted my ex by saying hurtful stuff that pushed her away, she started her first year at university right after she dumped me, it’s been 6 months and she’s done stuff that barley counts as breadcrumbs, I’ve been trying my hardest to work on myself but I still can’t get over her, I removed her from all my social media beginning of January and I feel that ruined my chances, any advice?
It sounds like you have too much free time and you're not putting yourself in new situations. If you guys just started college you're likely young - if the breakup was 6 months AND she's just started university it is likely she won't be revisiting the relationship any time soon. Seek new experiences and novelty - get out of your comfort zone!!
@@TheLoveChat thank you so much! We dated for a year and a half I forgot to mention that, but yes she is 18 and I’m 19, and that makes so much sense. I hope she can revisit it one day since it’s inevitable we will see eachother for the next couple years since we are in the same Christian community, but I agree I will do my best to get myself out there!
I’m not superstitious but wow this came at impeccable timing
My gf brokeup with me 2 days ago and i did no contact since then…..but before moving to no contact i begged pleaded and got a lot of disrespect. After no contact she comes back to me 2 days later, but Because i lost my self respect, value, etc….i asked her to not come back And i told her I can’t do this. But now i miss her. What do i do ?
Backstory : She broke up with me twice and i begged and pleaded twice and she came back. Which maybe put her on the pedestal. This made the relationship very draining and she said things like “you’re not worth it”, “i deserve better”, “others bf a so understanding”, “that’s why your ex left you” I lost myself trying to fix everything everytime but her expectations kept on increasing. I tried to do things upto her expectations but when one thing i failed to do the amount of disrespect just lashes on again.
A little begging and pleading is not a big deal so I don't want you to think too much about it. It's important to take this time to focus on yourself and improving areas of your life you don't like. This will help with the self-esteem during relationships and will help you avoid putting people on pedestals. Additionally it will help you walk away when your EX says things like "that's why your ex left you"
@@TheLoveChat I really miss her, i cry myself everyday to sleep. Do you think it’s possible that we can change the dynamics of the relationship in a positive way if we came back to each other?
I’m just going through a break up right now and I’m really sad and my heart is really broken and I feel very confused and I don’t know what to do
Right now focus on you. Go for a walk, do some journaling, cry, call a friend. Just feel your feelings!
Thank you I really appreciate that
I feel awful
Take it slow - one day at a time. We're here to support you!
trying to heal so won't watch the video but here for the youtube engagement - will mute
Greatly helps - thank you!!
If she is very egoistic then is there any chances to get back her☹️
Deciding to do nothing, IS an action.
Idk if this video kinda relates to my situation but here’s my story
Here’s the story
He was my first bf I was his first gf
I’ve been so anxious and I needed constant reassurance from him
And it got to the point where he was extremely stressed out about
It effected his mental health as well. He became really sad and depressed. He was trapped and smothered but I didn’t know it would go this far
Yes I had anxiety but I wasn’t a possessive, controlling, or anything like that. But my happiness did rely on him
So he thought breaking up would be best for our mental health. I knew he was slightly annoyed about the reassurance but after he broke up and told me about it more and more clearly.
It was partly because my mum talk about future too soon
And I haven’t told my dad and chances of him accepting him seemed low
But other than that
I also did keep on doubting his love for me
My ex was bad at communication which led me to think such way
I was also equally as bad because I had a mindset of “he doesn’t text me why should I”
But other than that He was much more affectionate irl
And he improved his texting habits
Yet my anxiety still consumed me
So one day, me andmy ex had planned to go over to his place
He picked me up, gave me a kiss, and then drove
It was silent
So I asked him if he is okay
He replied “we do need to talk”
I then was confused but had a feeling it was gonna be what I think
I began bursting out my tears. He comforted me, kissed me,
I asked him to just say it and get it over and done with
So I asked,
“You wanted to breakup don’t you”
“He said, well I didn’t want to but the anxiety and reassurance has gone to the point where it’s been affecting our mental health”he said he was sad and depressed cuz of that. The anxiety was a bit too much
He also said
“The past 6 months has been a wonderful time”
And stuff like that
After I asked him out of curiosity
He said he still loves me
And stated the reasons for breakup
He then said dropping me home would be too painful
I was crying my eyes out
I gave him the necklace and bracelet he gave me for my birthday
He looked like he was about to cry
But he didn’t cry
But I cried
He still offered to drop me home but so did his mum
His mum dropped me off