Scottish Guide For The Edinburgh Botanics Doesn't Give A F**k

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  • Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
  • Help find a cure for Craig's Hayfever: ko-fi.com/eleanormorton

КОМЕНТАРІ • 381

  • @diestormlie
    @diestormlie 2 роки тому +262

    "And I must warn you; I suffer from hay fever."
    Careful there Craig! That's almost dangerously close to caring about something!

  • @groffmarr
    @groffmarr 2 роки тому +403

    If I ever visit Scotland I’ll be bummed if the guide doesn’t say “come with me now” as the tour starts

    • @stephaniecarrow4898
      @stephaniecarrow4898 2 роки тому +4

      Good one! 😄😄

    • @hairyjedi
      @hairyjedi 2 роки тому +27

      I lead a ghost walk, Yorkshire rather than Scotland, but I now start by saying “come with me now” 😆🤣

    • @jphilb
      @jphilb 2 роки тому +11

      Don't forget to check out the gift shop on your way out.....

    • @lance-corporal
      @lance-corporal 2 роки тому +1

      bonnie laddie come awa with me.

    • @DoktorStrangelove
      @DoktorStrangelove 2 роки тому +5

      ONnnAH JUR-NEE

  • @ruaoneill9050
    @ruaoneill9050 2 роки тому +384

    'when we realised we didn't just want to colonis the world, we wanted their trees as well' 😂😂😂 Spot on Craig!

    • @bigtex4058
      @bigtex4058 2 роки тому +8

      To be fair, Scotland needs the trees.

    • @alygatornado
      @alygatornado 2 роки тому +9

      I swore it was going to be, "We wanted to pollinate it as well."

    • @Fridelain
      @Fridelain 2 місяці тому

      ​@@alygatornadofollowed by a sleazy smile and eyebrow waggle. missed opportunity

  • @ankavoskuilen1725
    @ankavoskuilen1725 2 роки тому +151

    "You see a rock, I see a garden." Craig, don't get over enthusiastic now!

  • @pencilpauli9442
    @pencilpauli9442 2 роки тому +109

    Those aren't scarves in the gift shop, Craig, they're giant hankies for hay fever sufferers.

  • @c.j.francisco2225
    @c.j.francisco2225 2 роки тому +52

    Best deadpan delivery ever. I would love for Craig to be a visiting guide at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC, USA. “Come with me now and see the stuff that didn’t blow up or crash.”

    • @Carole_Jane
      @Carole_Jane 2 роки тому +2

      Oh, yes! 😀😀😀

    • @kaitlyn__L
      @kaitlyn__L 2 роки тому +8

      This here is a tinfoil choob. Wouldnae catch me gawn in there, but some bugger did

    • @Raycheetah
      @Raycheetah 2 роки тому +8

      "And here at the Air and Space museum are the doors you saw in that Transformers movie... The ones that somehow led from Washington, DC, out into the Arizona desert, and nobody thought to wonder how that worked." =^[.]^=

  • @FabrizioBianchi
    @FabrizioBianchi 2 роки тому +202

    At "I suffer from hay fever" I literally lost it in the middle of the office, luckily during lunch break. Your depiction of Craig's misery evolves in unpredictable ways. If you will be contacted by any museum in Scotland to record an intro to the audiotour Craig-style, I will visit once again just for that!

  • @Kyermemehtar
    @Kyermemehtar 2 роки тому +72

    Glad you're feeling better! I love the creativity: you see lingering covid symptoms... I see Craig with hay fever 😂

  • @michaelg2529
    @michaelg2529 2 роки тому +98

    Hooray, she's back. Wow, talk about dedicated to the channel.
    Poor Craig, perhaps the "hay feaver" will become less severe soon. Glad to see him back, take care of him and yourself.

    • @RA12121
      @RA12121 2 роки тому +10

      Welcome back, Craaaaig, glad to see you staggering about!!! Stating the obvious but its genius how she wrote her actual sniffles into the script. 💛

  • @technonarg5978
    @technonarg5978 2 роки тому +65

    Craig whips up our enthusiasm for seeds and scarves to an all time high. :-) Loving your humour Eleanor.

  • @DuckReach432
    @DuckReach432 2 роки тому +32

    I love the way Craig rotates his eyes malevolently back and forth across the attentive group as he speaks. He looks like a sickly Scottish Cylon.

  • @markfisher7962
    @markfisher7962 2 роки тому +21

    I just realized the meta narrative behind Craig's adventures. He's getting fired from each job just after the vid goes out. Aaaand then hired by the next unwary "attraction". What a CV.

  • @robbabcock_
    @robbabcock_ 2 роки тому +25

    You can't buy that kind of enthusiasm!😂

  • @keiththorpe9571
    @keiththorpe9571 2 роки тому +28

    Damn, Craig is sounding particularly animated and enthused today.

  • @BarnabusBarbarossa
    @BarnabusBarbarossa 2 роки тому +23

    Craig is the best tour guide ever! He's got good quips, he's informative and unpretentious, and he's got those rugged Scottish handsome looks. What more could a tourist ever want?

  • @sixstringedthing
    @sixstringedthing 2 роки тому +25

    I can feel the discomfort seeping out of my screen.
    Not severe enough to be getting all het up about, but irritating enough to make sure that everybody around you knows about it.
    You're a wee trooper Craig, ye miserable bastard.

  • @bigbrutalbassbeer410
    @bigbrutalbassbeer410 2 роки тому +33

    It’s good to see Craig and the lass feeling better than a week ago! Thank you for yet another tour.😊

  • @JadeCryptOfWonders
    @JadeCryptOfWonders 2 роки тому +41

    Always good to see Craig phone in his tour guide job.

    • @paulroberts3639
      @paulroberts3639 2 роки тому +8

      Phone? Too much effort. Maybe a text message that he re-sends every shift.

  • @PrinceTrish
    @PrinceTrish 2 роки тому +23

    I dearly hope Craig's conscious gets to be uploaded to post humanity digital existence and he turns out to be the most qualified for the role as "friendly welcome voice to the magnificent O'Neil cylinder hub world of intergalactic Sol" or some other such guff

  • @EmGee67
    @EmGee67 2 роки тому +27

    Hope your feeling better. Can't tell by seeing you now. People see Mars bar Scottish people see a fry up. Have a great day.

  • @jansmith8872
    @jansmith8872 2 роки тому +10

    😁Those reasonably priced £35 jars of Honey in the gift shop will help your sniffles Craig!

  • @grahambrook6383
    @grahambrook6383 2 роки тому +13

    I do hope I can become more like Craig in the future. I do practice by watching UA-cam too much so that’s a good start I think.

  • @Cyberlucy
    @Cyberlucy 2 роки тому +26

    Love Craig. He needs his own television show.

    • @mudmug1
      @mudmug1 2 роки тому +2

      Scottish news presenter doesn't give a f**k

  • @apolloc.vermouth5672
    @apolloc.vermouth5672 2 роки тому +10

    I think Craig must have once worked for an American-owned company and now his 'forced enthusiasm' glands are shot. I know mine are.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 2 роки тому +12

    Awww... somebody send that fellow a nice bouquet of flowers. He's feelin' poorly.

  • @sweetlorikeet
    @sweetlorikeet 2 роки тому +15

    This hits a little close to home. I have chronic hayfever and work in a garden center.

  • @johnmcshane4515
    @johnmcshane4515 2 роки тому +11

    Classic Craig. I think the sniffy nose adds a special frisson.

  • @RussellSmithOmegaW
    @RussellSmithOmegaW 2 роки тому +12

    I knew I was going to enjoy this one from the first sentence. Craig really had had enough this time, even for Craig.

  • @digital_gravity
    @digital_gravity 2 роки тому +15

    I'd pay money to take one of Craig's tours. If he were real, he'd be an internet legend.

    • @mechanicaldavid4827
      @mechanicaldavid4827 2 роки тому +2

      And since he's not real, he can remain an internet legend...

  • @tinear4
    @tinear4 2 роки тому +9

    Wishing the wife and I could tour Scotland some day with Craig.

  • @feetunes
    @feetunes 2 роки тому +13

    "If you don't just want to look at plants, but be hot while you look at them". LOL.Brilliant again. I would have liked to hear Craig's take on Bonsai trees. Maybe, "It's the good lords way of reminding us to have a vegetable or two with our deep fried mars bar"

    • @EleanorMortonable
      @EleanorMortonable  2 роки тому +8

      This is going to shock you but I have never had a deep fried mars bar, nor has anyone I know. I think its for tourists.

    • @feetunes
      @feetunes 2 роки тому +3

      @@EleanorMortonable Haha. No it doesn't shock me. I live here. lol. Just playing along. :-)

    • @feetunes
      @feetunes 2 роки тому +3

      i.e. I could imagine Craig saying it, but you know him a lot better, obviously. Great character.

    • @lindalaw5466
      @lindalaw5466 2 роки тому +3

      @@EleanorMortonable yes, was in Edinburgh few years back. It was like trying to eat a mars bar that had been in your car too long and was melted. 🤢

    • @kaitlyn__L
      @kaitlyn__L 2 роки тому +1

      @@EleanorMortonable the only people I know who did enjoy them growing up were Lancastrian, not Scots!

  • @chicagorandy
    @chicagorandy 2 роки тому +9

    Ms Morton, you are a real treat and have the gift and skills needed to make us smile. Your creation of Craig is a gem. Thanks for sharing the joy with mere mortals such as those of us here across the pond.

  • @armandj.8864
    @armandj.8864 2 роки тому +8

    My heart leapt when I saw there was a new Craig video. The character is funnier with each iteration.

  • @kaleidoscopticAngel
    @kaleidoscopticAngel 2 роки тому +7

    They do need to find a cure for hay fever tho. Like now please I’m sufferingggggg

  • @Odin029
    @Odin029 2 роки тому +4

    If I make my way to Scotland and meet somebody named Craig I don't know if I'll be able to hold it together.

  • @alanbaxter8100
    @alanbaxter8100 2 роки тому +6

    I’m away to find a hanky ,,,, your a genius

  • @d.s.parentsr6502
    @d.s.parentsr6502 2 роки тому +5

    Those wearing glasses, be advised to take them off upon entry. I know what you're thinking, you won't be able to see anything without your glasses on. But you won't be able to see anything with your glasses on either as they will instantly fog up.

    • @ankavoskuilen1725
      @ankavoskuilen1725 2 роки тому +2

      So basically you won't be seeing anything!
      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @itookallthenames
    @itookallthenames 2 роки тому +5

    How can you tell if a scot has hayfever? You can’t.

  • @DonJoyce
    @DonJoyce 2 роки тому +2

    Craig, they to sell antihistamines in that gift shop! Hilarious!

  • @glenndouglas8822
    @glenndouglas8822 2 роки тому +6

    Fair play to Craig, he is never out of work, bless him. Craig is there for any occasion......

  • @StephanieJeanne
    @StephanieJeanne 2 роки тому +6

    "April to November" and "Seeds and scarves." Craig's right about both! 😂

  • @nomadMik
    @nomadMik 2 роки тому +3

    I actually went there on my first day, ever, in Scotland. It was summer Solstice, 9° and literally flooding, like, they told us we had to leave because, inside, we were ankle-deep in water. We were ankle-deep in water outside, too, so I didn't see the point of evacuating, especially since it was also pissing down and we fucked up three umbrellas in the wind.

  • @indricotherium4802
    @indricotherium4802 2 роки тому +6

    Is Craig aware of the McTagg & Co single use disposable nostril membrane at £4.99 the pair? They come with a special design plastic tweezer for insertion and removal. Superb product - never had a problem.

    • @chasbodaniels1744
      @chasbodaniels1744 2 роки тому

      Those Scots have always been inventive, haven’t they?

  • @onetakeproductions-cookery9920
    @onetakeproductions-cookery9920 2 роки тому +5

    When I was doing my floristry training there was an apprentice who had the worst hay fever I have ever seen.

  • @DocFumachu
    @DocFumachu 2 роки тому +2

    Im glad you feel better and Craig is back.
    Although i might have reached a critical point now, were i can't really take a tour guide seriously if he/she doesn't say "..come with me now.." in a scottish accent.
    "Ma'am, i don't care if this is the Louvre! Say the line or we won't move a bit!"

  • @kevalan1042
    @kevalan1042 2 роки тому +3

    Craig is the best Fauna of Scotland

  • @jeeprose4712
    @jeeprose4712 2 роки тому +5

    I am from the US and I love your accent. You would hate me smiling when you're mad.

  • @glenndavis4452
    @glenndavis4452 2 роки тому +2

    As an American, I’m glad you have subtitles.
    Not really need them, but I think it’s an extra joke for free.

  • @dhalbrohr
    @dhalbrohr 2 роки тому +2

    GIFTSHOP GIFTSHOP! :D

  • @stephenmeche8418
    @stephenmeche8418 2 роки тому +31

    I completely understand what Craig is going through, we had a Saharan dust cloud arrive yesterday. I can't even roll my windows down while driving without having a vicious sneezing attack. I love the "You see a rock, I see a garden." Hilarious!

  • @thearchibaldtuttle
    @thearchibaldtuttle 2 роки тому +5

    Craig in all his freshness!

  • @Dirkus17
    @Dirkus17 2 роки тому +2

    I’ve travelled the world hoping to come across the free cafe table. The Holy Grail.

  • @deadhorse1391
    @deadhorse1391 2 роки тому +2

    Yet another great video!
    Give the makeup person a Pat on the back, you look beautiful

  • @mesarosmm
    @mesarosmm 2 роки тому +4

    Edinbruh

  • @bgardunia
    @bgardunia 2 роки тому +3

    Going there next week. Can’t wait. Imperialist plant collection here I come.

  • @sparkymlarky
    @sparkymlarky 2 роки тому +3

    That waz sooooo edukayshunal

  • @velotill
    @velotill 2 роки тому +5

    glad you're back : )

  • @jeffjr84
    @jeffjr84 2 роки тому +10

    Everyone wonders, "where is Craig", no on ever asks "how is Craig" :P

  • @Adikova97
    @Adikova97 2 роки тому +3

    My man Craig should really stop taking these guide jobs

  • @lillywho
    @lillywho 2 роки тому +7

    Ah, bless Craig. This time I do feel bad forrim.

  • @jackprice8525
    @jackprice8525 2 роки тому +2

    There shouldn't be one single tour guide in the UK who doesn't hear Craig's voice in the back of her head.

  • @tedcowart3647
    @tedcowart3647 2 роки тому +4

    Thanks Craig! I needed a cheer up this morning!

  • @agogo8861
    @agogo8861 2 роки тому +2

    Any meds that will stop me sneezing, i feel that.

  • @adonisatreus76
    @adonisatreus76 2 роки тому +3

    I hope you are feeling much better! Thanks so much for another hilarious video!

  • @emilywoodyard687
    @emilywoodyard687 2 роки тому +2

    Please have Craig explain curling.

  • @alexanderc.4654
    @alexanderc.4654 2 роки тому +2

    Craig has to have one heck of an interesting CV by this point

  • @donbrogan3158
    @donbrogan3158 2 роки тому +2

    I want to marry a girl called Craig....

  • @mdhj67
    @mdhj67 2 роки тому +3

    Comedy Gold!

  • @rich9757
    @rich9757 2 роки тому +2

    She must be healthy again?!!🤞

  • @The-Real-Ando
    @The-Real-Ando 2 роки тому +3

    Craig I recommend a teaspoon of pollen everyday, on your porridge, it will cure your hay fever. You’re welcome.

  • @eljuano28
    @eljuano28 2 роки тому +2

    Way to make use of the 'Rona symptoms. 😆

  • @greaserbubtheoriginal7923
    @greaserbubtheoriginal7923 2 роки тому +1

    i love Craige and Eleanor every time i watch him i learn a lot about the place to see when and if i Come to SCOTLAND ;];];];];]

  • @bubblycider
    @bubblycider 2 роки тому +1

    Omg, I am Italian, I visited Edinburgh twice: the second time I also went on a MacBackpacker’s tour of the highlands and I’ve stayed in casual contact with our tour guide (Stuart) since. I found your videos so hilarious, I had to DM him the link, I hope he shares them with all his colleagues!
    Suggestion: maybe do the pathology museum some time? I know only nerds like me visit it, but I’d like to know Craig’s view on it!

  • @celticguy197531
    @celticguy197531 2 роки тому +3

    I know how "Craig" feels! I to suffer from the dreaded attack of the pollen at this time :(

  • @roderickmain9697
    @roderickmain9697 2 роки тому +1

    Another brilliant observation.
    Coming back on the train (LNER) from London today, I wondered if Craig had ever been a train guard - advising on food and drink, which cars were 1st class, which stop you need to get off for something really exciting - like Newcastle. I think he would make a good guard...

  • @meander112
    @meander112 2 роки тому +2

    Engagement for the engagement god!

  • @carlhannah1884
    @carlhannah1884 2 роки тому +2

    Craig is the hero we need but do not deserve.

  • @jackieyeh9187
    @jackieyeh9187 2 роки тому +1

    The acceptable sphere notably pop because cylinder correspondingly sniff afore a kaput bolt. obsequious, plucky argentina

  • @asmodon
    @asmodon 2 роки тому +2

    Do they also have wee planes there?

  • @laurencehastings7473
    @laurencehastings7473 2 роки тому +1

    Yet more , dare I say (or even type), hankie panky. Try a little 'grass' it won't cure the hay fever but you won't care. I thought stoned was a rock solid adjective for being unsteady on your feet and vomiting . Apparently it also applies to gardens. You live and learn as Craig would say.......

  • @euhm
    @euhm 2 роки тому +1

    Do you know that Eleanor Morton was Miss Australia in 1980 and that her brother's name is Craig. At least that's what wikipedia tells me...

  • @stupadasol5911
    @stupadasol5911 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you for starting my day off with a good belly laugh! You make me proud of my Scottish blood.

  • @Helen3691
    @Helen3691 2 роки тому +1

    One of these days you’re gonna hear a crazy American hollering at you from across the pub yelling “Craig! Craig! Can ye take meh for a tour?” That will be me. 😆

  • @KamathVaishali
    @KamathVaishali 2 роки тому +1

    If I now come across involved and indulgent tourist guides in Scotland, I want my money back. I insist on the variety that does not give a f*ck. LOL

  • @davidc5027
    @davidc5027 2 роки тому +1

    snaggle-toothed Scottish guide.. Funny. Good stuff.

  • @Aldark22405
    @Aldark22405 2 роки тому +2

    Craig wears many hats

  • @garywhitt98
    @garywhitt98 2 роки тому +1

    Eleanor, Craig is just begging to be the voice of Scottish tourism. If only…

  • @effingsix3825
    @effingsix3825 2 роки тому +1

    How about ‘Scottish Huntsman in a fox hunt doesn’t give an F’ Moustachio’d of course.

  • @southernguy35
    @southernguy35 2 роки тому +1

    They say that 3 in 100 are naturally red headed. Half my family are red headed, my grandmother, herr sisters, an aunt, two uncles, a couple of cousins andd my late mother who died on my birthday. But, it's proof that headheads rise to the top.

  • @alphonsecetenz9260
    @alphonsecetenz9260 2 роки тому +1

    Ay kinna get a burr intuh the comments, but whut a combo o’ brrains, beauty and a truly murrderous sense of humour. I look forward to your vids, I do.

  • @Bee-gg5mk
    @Bee-gg5mk 2 роки тому +2

    The Craig sketches are so spot on for most tourist destinations it's uncanny.

  • @george.5145
    @george.5145 2 роки тому +1

    I'm actually traveling to scotland in a couple of weeks and if this does not happen i will be severely disappointed.

  • @lindalaw5466
    @lindalaw5466 2 роки тому +1

    Poor Craig, lovely to see his smiling…… oh, lovely to see his face 😉🤣❤️

  • @kongmengyang1098
    @kongmengyang1098 2 роки тому +1

    Hey Craig! Glad to see you back. Hope you're feeling better!

  • @toolsaddiction
    @toolsaddiction 2 роки тому +1

    Disocverd the channel with the wiskey tour, this one got me subscribed

  • @dallashill5771
    @dallashill5771 2 роки тому +1

    These Tour Guide videos are fuckin' brilliant.

  • @stuartdryer1352
    @stuartdryer1352 2 роки тому +1

    Craig is one of the world's great motivational speakers.

  • @jacquelinevrooman7755
    @jacquelinevrooman7755 2 роки тому +1

    I can't stop laughing 😆 🤣!!!!!!

  • @Fr0gg37
    @Fr0gg37 2 роки тому +1

    I like how Eleanor can be literal but not offensive, and funny at the same time.

  • @kousetsuhana
    @kousetsuhana 2 роки тому +2

    Craig is bae