It’s literally a dance… an EXHAUSTING dance but only if you let them control the situation. Give ultimatums like you would a child and walk away from the conversation in order to keep your peace.
Agree. We need to pull away for a time to heal from past abuse before we can access what exactly we can move forward with. Awesome video! Bought so much clarity
I'm nearly 7 mins in and I get it. I understand this woman's struggle with how to put into works and how she undoubtedly now feels like she's the one being petty for saying what she's saying. It's a massive accumulation of having lived with the mothers ways. And it IS petty but it's happened SO MUCH that it's now a big thing to you. And the Dr is right, it's about OUR readiness. And it stings to hear it. But I'm sort of at a stage myself now where mine makes comments and it's water off a ducks back, I internally laugh at the audacity. It's taken me over 2 years though! Good luck to anyone learning x
This is so helpful. I have a relationship like this and while this person is sinning against me, it hurts so badly because of my dysfunction. I can't stop them from sinning against me but I can allow the Lord to heal my dysfunction so the relationship can be fruitful for the kingdom of God.
Omg I wish you were my counselor I have a counselor but you hit the nail on it I am 31 years old and I’m back at my mom house just for a little bit because I got evicted from my apartment I’m also pregnant and have a 6 month old daughter I’m also the oldest out of three sisters I’ve been the golden child and the scapegoat, I just realized my mom is narcissistic or has bpd and it’s sad because me and my sisters are starting to notice bad patterns I always felt like the oldest child puppet but I learned through prayer and being close to God to not react and ignore also it feels like a spell on you it’s like I have to agree with her on everythinggggg and it has destroyed my life until I got closer to God. She’s still the same but I change how I react to her and yesss! Omg I feel so guilty even moving out of state and not telling her, I used to treat her like my best friend but she gossips, gaslights, always emotional get offended about everything if we don’t like what she likes she causes division it’s so much guilt and I’m tryna heal from it it’s like now she knows I’m so focused here meaning I’m not gonna to be here long. And I’ve told her about herself a long time ago but they never change they really thing they do nothing wrong but I’m realizing that her mother was like that at 30 things were starting to make sense to me I also love her so much that I understand her hurt because she’s been pretty much abused all of her life. And her energy is Draining!! I love these videos it’s actually helping me move forward quicker
I really wish you would have aloud this women to expound a bit more on how her mother is. I was able to relate to her and I wish I could have learned more by hearing a bit more of her story. Her mother sounded very angry and miserable very much like my own.
I have to say I believe in the mom here . This is not about controll from a mom. You have a mom who does not eat SUGAR , maybe because it causes blood sugar irregularities. If she comes over once a month, year etc. what is the harm in making a dish without the sugar, set it aside for her and then make yours. I will be honest if this womans husbands boss or minister came to dinner and not her mom ... I bet you their would be sugarless dishes on the table. I had this problem with my family. All they thought of was them. I had pre diabetic and blood sugar issues and asked when coming to thanks giving if people could keep that in mind considering I saw them once a year. If they are cooking from scratch , pull out some without the sugar for me before adding the sugar to it. I never asked them to NOT EAT sugar which this lady may be thinking her mom wants her to do without. Its about being thoughtfull of the OTHER. For some people this is a hard concept and call it conntrolling when its really just called being considerate. We would not invite the POPE or our minister to dinner knowing he can not eat sugar, meat, or certain oils and tell him .. too bad. Maybe the moms anger surfaces by just the fact that should would have to ask so many times and her own daughter seems to be clueless and thinks the mom is being controlling when she is the one who needs to look at herself.. It seems she is looking for a excuse to disconnect from her mom, does not want to own her part. Getting upset because her mom wants to eat maybe (sugarless organic grass fed). She can not even see that , how any other person would handle it differently . Seems like the caller has some resentments of her mother, withheld upsets, digging to find out why such a simple thing upsets her. The problem is people don't confront someone when in the moment they are upset by something. They stuff it for years, don't bring it to the persons attention asking what they meant, or confirm what you thought they said they actually said or did. It never gets resolved, builds up, with jabs to the parent or child to a degree the parent in this case does not know why her daughter is so disrespectful to her. The caller needs to dig the upsets. Unfortunately some may have occurred 20 years ago, that she does not even know what happenedd.
It’s literally a dance… an EXHAUSTING dance but only if you let them control the situation. Give ultimatums like you would a child and walk away from the conversation in order to keep your peace.
I have no control over others behavior only how I respond or distance myself for protection
Agree. We need to pull away for a time to heal from past abuse before we can access what exactly we can move forward with. Awesome video! Bought so much clarity
Fabulous, just fabulous! Thank you for this video. Prayers for this sweet caller and all who are dealing with toxic family. 💜
Wow! That dog example! Thanks
I heat category names. They stick too long and don't allow change when you name people. So sad in society. Love your teachings Dr. CLOUD THANK YOU!❤
I prayed for this answer last night. So blessed. Thanks so much and thank you Jesus
Thanks you Dr Cloud! Great illustration with restaurant at the end. I guess I didn't realize how wounded I was too. Time to heal.
Me too Precious
Hugs from Australia 🌹
Infinitely Helpful
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Thanking You from Australia 🙏
Praising God for you! Hallelujah!!!
I'm nearly 7 mins in and I get it. I understand this woman's struggle with how to put into works and how she undoubtedly now feels like she's the one being petty for saying what she's saying. It's a massive accumulation of having lived with the mothers ways. And it IS petty but it's happened SO MUCH that it's now a big thing to you.
And the Dr is right, it's about OUR readiness. And it stings to hear it. But I'm sort of at a stage myself now where mine makes comments and it's water off a ducks back, I internally laugh at the audacity. It's taken me over 2 years though! Good luck to anyone learning x
Thank you so much for this Dr Cloud. Its so helpful
This is so helpful… Thank you Dr.!
I totally can relate. Thank you for this video Dr. Cloud
This was incredibly helpful! I’m so glad I’ve taken these steps.. my life is so much better for it
Great illustration!!
This was very eye opening! Thanks. 💯
This is so helpful. I have a relationship like this and while this person is sinning against me, it hurts so badly because of my dysfunction. I can't stop them from sinning against me but I can allow the Lord to heal my dysfunction so the relationship can be fruitful for the kingdom of God.
❤🙏
Omg I wish you were my counselor I have a counselor but you hit the nail on it I am 31 years old and I’m back at my mom house just for a little bit because I got evicted from my apartment I’m also pregnant and have a 6 month old daughter I’m also the oldest out of three sisters I’ve been the golden child and the scapegoat, I just realized my mom is narcissistic or has bpd and it’s sad because me and my sisters are starting to notice bad patterns I always felt like the oldest child puppet but I learned through prayer and being close to God to not react and ignore also it feels like a spell on you it’s like I have to agree with her on everythinggggg and it has destroyed my life until I got closer to God. She’s still the same but I change how I react to her and yesss! Omg I feel so guilty even moving out of state and not telling her, I used to treat her like my best friend but she gossips, gaslights, always emotional get offended about everything if we don’t like what she likes she causes division it’s so much guilt and I’m tryna heal from it it’s like now she knows I’m so focused here meaning I’m not gonna to be here long. And I’ve told her about herself a long time ago but they never change they really thing they do nothing wrong but I’m realizing that her mother was like that at 30 things were starting to make sense to me I also love her so much that I understand her hurt because she’s been pretty much abused all of her life. And her energy is Draining!! I love these videos it’s actually helping me move forward quicker
The caller can get therapy for her wounds and trauma
If I don’t have money, how to heal? Thank you.
I wanna have dinner up there 👆 just to make fun of her mother in law hahah she did a great job acting omg
Does anyone else agree that he looks strinkingly similar to the father on wonder years ? Holy shit
My mother was like that and she was Diagnosed BiPolar. Very chaotic
I really wish you would have aloud this women to expound a bit more on how her mother is. I was able to relate to her and I wish I could have learned more by hearing a bit more of her story. Her mother sounded very angry and miserable very much like my own.
I’m a parent just leave her to her life and you do yours
I’m a parent learning from God to cut off all the old ways they are none of my business
I have to say I believe in the mom here . This is not about controll from a mom. You have a mom who does not eat SUGAR , maybe because it causes blood sugar irregularities. If she comes over once a month, year etc. what is the harm in making a dish without the sugar, set it aside for her and then make yours. I will be honest if this womans husbands boss or minister came to dinner and not her mom ... I bet you their would be sugarless dishes on the table. I had this problem with my family. All they thought of was them. I had pre diabetic and blood sugar issues and asked when coming to thanks giving if people could keep that in mind considering I saw them once a year. If they are cooking from scratch , pull out some without the sugar for me before adding the sugar to it. I never asked them to NOT EAT sugar which this lady may be thinking her mom wants her to do without. Its about being thoughtfull of the OTHER. For some people this is a hard concept and call it conntrolling when its really just called being considerate. We would not invite the POPE or our minister to dinner knowing he can not eat sugar, meat, or certain oils and tell him .. too bad. Maybe the moms anger surfaces by just the fact that should would have to ask so many times and her own daughter seems to be clueless and thinks the mom is being controlling when she is the one who needs to look at herself.. It seems she is looking for a excuse to disconnect from her mom, does not want to own her part. Getting upset because her mom wants to eat maybe (sugarless organic grass fed). She can not even see that , how any other person would handle it differently . Seems like the caller has some resentments of her mother, withheld upsets, digging to find out why such a simple thing upsets her. The problem is people don't confront someone when in the moment they are upset by something. They stuff it for years, don't bring it to the persons attention asking what they meant, or confirm what you thought they said they actually said or did. It never gets resolved, builds up, with jabs to the parent or child to a degree the parent in this case does not know why her daughter is so disrespectful to her. The caller needs to dig the upsets. Unfortunately some may have occurred 20 years ago, that she does not even know what happenedd.
So true.
No marshmallows on my friggen yams are you kidding me why isn’t their marshmallows. Why why why why
Oh wow! Did Dr. Cloud just say “… that’s injurious to you… really? So now the caller is at fault bcz she’s not healed! Not a good sign …
😅