Beating Narcissists in Divorce Court - Judge Lynn Toler Interview

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  • Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
  • 💪Are you ready to dominate narcissists and take your back in any conversation? Join me for a free live webinar! Click here to sign up 👉👉slay.rebeccazung.com/freetrai...
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    How to beat narcissists in divorce court.
    Have you ever thought that the court system is unfair, judges are biased, and narcissists always win? And are you trying to get past all over that? By the end of this interview, you are going to have answers to all of those questions.
    In this interview, I talk with Judge Lynn Toler who has been on the television series "Divorce Court" for 16 years and she's got answers for you on what to do with those narcissists when you go to court.
    🎓What you’ll learn in the webinar:
    The 3 empowering secrets you need to take back control when communicating with narcissists.
    How to develop a winning, foolproof strategy to drive the outcome you want out of negotiations with narcissists.
    How to be more powerful, persuasive and confident when negotiating with narcs.
    What to say in negotiation and how to say it so that you can beat narcs at their own game!
    How to anticipate what the narcissist will do and be two steps ahead of them at all times.
    About Rebecca Zung:
    ✅Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV(c), preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell.
    ✅But her journey wasn’t always easy. She got married at 19, had 3 children and divorced at the age of 23. She was a divorced single mom when she decided to go back to law school. She went from being a single mom, college dropout, to becoming one the most powerful lawyers in the country at the helm of a multi-million dollar practice. She is now committed to sharing her secrets and empowering others to live their lives at their optimum level of success, professionally and personally.
    ✅She is the author of the bestselling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor.
    ✅She has been featured in Extra, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York and CBS Los Angeles among others. She is the host of the popular show Negotiate Your Best Life™ which is available on UA-cam and as a Top Podcast. She is also a frequent keynote speaker.
    --
    🎓FREE WEBINAR: DISCOVER HOW TO TURN THE TABLES ON A NARCISSIST HERE:👉 slay.rebeccazung.com/
    #divorcecourt #judgelynn #rebeccazung
    Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 820

  • @haveaniceday23
    @haveaniceday23 3 роки тому +215

    As soon as I understood my victim mentality. My world changed

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +24

      It really does change your perspective!

    • @keshiagonzalez3134
      @keshiagonzalez3134 3 роки тому +9

      Yes it does

    • @keligsp8962
      @keligsp8962 3 роки тому +5

      Persistent personalities "Disability"

    • @teal1010
      @teal1010 3 роки тому +19

      Exactly!
      Once I learned who the person is, I dealt with them accordingly!
      If a person communicates respectfully, I give them all the time and consideration even if we don't agree.
      However, if a person is demeaning and talks over me, I head for the exit door!

    • @lthomas3623
      @lthomas3623 3 роки тому +4

      @@teal1010 great perspective

  • @LonjeMarie7
    @LonjeMarie7 3 роки тому +207

    It’s called not letting someone else live in your head rent free. Meditation, exercise, rest, etc helps to heal.

  • @teal1010
    @teal1010 3 роки тому +78

    "People will continue to engage in behavior if they know that behavior will agitate you if that is in fact what they are trying to do!"
    *This is spot on!

  • @lillies2011
    @lillies2011 3 роки тому +52

    I miss you Judge Toler. Please come back to Divorce Court 😢😢

  • @leshiaweekes-hart1066
    @leshiaweekes-hart1066 3 роки тому +195

    Narcissist use coworkers ,people in the community, family, a circle of people to help them, they will GI to any means as far to try to destroy your character. They will do the most unexpected, as far to kill you to have it their way,regardless if children are involved. I never would have believed, The one I married would have done me Like this.Just being educated about Narcissistic males.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +18

      Yes. So true. Sending you light.

    • @bernitacenteno1326
      @bernitacenteno1326 3 роки тому +8

      My truth 💯% exactly. Sorry about your evill narc experiences.

    • @rubberbiscuit99
      @rubberbiscuit99 3 роки тому +15

      Exactly. So sorry you have also experienced marriage to a narcissist.

    • @Tarotcooks
      @Tarotcooks 3 роки тому +3

      Correct 👏👏👏

    • @StandupGirl-ym3ey
      @StandupGirl-ym3ey 3 роки тому +18

      This is true! My kids father and I went to court due to domestic violence and went and got witness or character statements from co workers!🤷🏾‍♀️🤔 For what? Who he was at work was not the demon he was with me at home? I didnt get the person he was at work! Smh Manipulation at its finest!!!

  • @LonjeMarie7
    @LonjeMarie7 3 роки тому +193

    ALWAYS keep your cool in court. NO matter what is said, or how you are questioned by attorneys. I LOST A court case because the opposing attorney afterward said he deliberately made me come out of pocket and act up. LESSON learned. The judge herself admitted it have a great calmness and have great control over your emotions it’s a positive for you. Awesome video ladies!

    • @dani323
      @dani323 2 роки тому +4

      Thank you so much for sharing. I need to remember this today.

    • @monaepitts5436
      @monaepitts5436 2 роки тому +3

      Totally on point

    • @charleslopez1932
      @charleslopez1932 2 роки тому

      Really appreciate you herbalist odige omonfuma for bringing back happinesse for bringing my ex back. Thank you so much, friends join me to thank him for what he has actually done for me and I pray to you all for a good life and good health, and most especially to you herbalist odige omonfuma
      ua-cam.com/channels/EBYS1R1uPhaIpMb7AuNFFA.html

    • @DulceN
      @DulceN Рік тому +5

      And how do you keep your calm when you have CPTSD, anxiety disorder and cannot filter your emotions? I don’t think being heavily sedated in Court is a good thing, either…

    • @chandaniberry9369
      @chandaniberry9369 Рік тому

      But it is so very very difficult, isn't it.

  • @lindabest3184
    @lindabest3184 3 роки тому +115

    Wow,I have certainly missed you Judge Lynn Toler, it's good to see you again Beautiful 😍💎.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +14

      She is so great, isn’t she?

    • @RicardoCray
      @RicardoCray 3 роки тому +1

      @@RebeccaZungEsq you both r :) edit* thank you both for your words of wisdom

  • @Chinadoll5881
    @Chinadoll5881 3 роки тому +109

    Preparing myself for a divorce with a narcissist…this was very helpful information. I’ve already won by getting out. Needing some good vibes in court. Thank you ladies!

    • @laurajohnson8016
      @laurajohnson8016 2 роки тому +2

      Me to 😂

    • @amimartinez4217
      @amimartinez4217 2 роки тому +5

      Prayer for favor In Jesus name that the truth comes out!

    • @FineAndHappySight
      @FineAndHappySight 2 роки тому +2

      How’s it going? Is the divorce complete yet?

    • @Chinadoll5881
      @Chinadoll5881 2 роки тому +7

      @@FineAndHappySight yes ma’am! Things went great! So glad for resources like these!

    • @sunitakharatmal
      @sunitakharatmal 2 роки тому +1

      Sp did it go tough. How do d narcissist play d argument in court?

  • @jillmarie180
    @jillmarie180 3 роки тому +126

    Omg !! An educated + informed Judge!!
    🙏🏻

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +10

      Yes she is!

    • @randykelly7676
      @randykelly7676 3 роки тому +8

      How do you keep a narc from hiding assets?

    • @tshepomogobe1529
      @tshepomogobe1529 3 роки тому +8

      I personally learned a lot especially towards the end. I life is my responsibility to make it enjoyable

  • @magnoliav12
    @magnoliav12 3 роки тому +83

    I don't think most judges even know what a narcissist is. The only way you can know is to have lived with one. My new wife and I have both been married to narcissists in the past.

    • @CoachJanese
      @CoachJanese 3 роки тому +10

      Congrats to finding the love you deserve.

    • @nocapp6180
      @nocapp6180 3 роки тому +10

      God bless you both in finding love & opened up your heart to welcome love again after Narcissist Abuse I'm praying one day I find real & safe love

    • @philima
      @philima 3 роки тому +2

      @@nocapp6180 Amen, same here.

    • @jenniferray509
      @jenniferray509 2 роки тому +2

      How long did it take you guys to heal from your narcissists?

    • @vicvega8986
      @vicvega8986 2 роки тому +6

      I feel like after living with a narcissistic person over a period of time, some of the narcissistic tactics rub off on you even if your not a narcissist.

  • @advalenti
    @advalenti Рік тому +29

    Hello Rebecca, I have been following you for a couple of years now and really appreciate all you do. I am a narcissistic abuse survivor. I was married for 28 years and never understood what I was dealing with until about 3 years ago. Anyway, your videos are great and helped educate me how to get safe. Though I am in a much better place now, my ex now thinks she is entitled to my inheritance from the recent passing of my mother. So... she has dragged me into court to try and take more from me. It's been a 3 year ordeal trying to extract myself. A horror movie really. On a positive note, this video touched me. I loved hearing Judge Lynn's advice, but also her story which is amazing and inspiring! Please thank her for being a strong woman and being so open and human. You are all of that too. Please keep up the good work!

    • @chelseajoy254
      @chelseajoy254 9 місяців тому

      Wow. I can't imagine the kind of strength it takes to be able to survive 28 years of narcissistic torment. 😢 You must be an absolute powerhouse.

  • @Theresa-Lottodo
    @Theresa-Lottodo 3 роки тому +70

    I know a narcissist who is not only quite well aware that they are one, but they're proud of it. For them, it's a badge of honour and a badge of their 'not being a victim'.

    • @joannadziokan3267
      @joannadziokan3267 3 роки тому +8

      Yup...disaster. This cannot be a human. The one I know is a narcissist with a victim mentality. I read about different types.

    • @fbnotyalc9299
      @fbnotyalc9299 2 роки тому +4

      Yes, there are different types; I am (much) too well acquainted with a "victim mentality" narc.
      What I found ironic, is this - in one of her videos, Rebecca Zung describes how, in any situation involving conflict/disagreement/etc, narcissists very often see only a "winner"...and a "loser". Nothing else. Even with issues that are quite minor.
      This narc's 'badge of honour'/'badge of not being a victim' mindset - ie, "any given individual is either a narcissist, or a victim" - just seems to be a perfect representation of that. SMH...

    • @britanyashley4241
      @britanyashley4241 2 роки тому +6

      My nex admits it randomly in conversation. He will let it slip that he is one. No one notices but me. He also takes pride in being the aggressor and not the victim. He told me I'm the softest person he knows. He thought that was an insult but I'm proud of how soft and sweet I am. I have compassion and love to give to children, animals and humanity. To me empathy is a good trait. Something that he lacks. It makes me human. I don't know what he is. But I know these people have a lot of suicide/murder in their families. Something is wrong. I was wondering if different blood types means different kinds of humans. In his family they all have o+ or Rh- blood. They all needed shots before giving birth so their bodies don't kill the baby because the different blood makes their body see the baby as foreign. I don't know about you but that sound like they aren't human if their bodies destroy human babies! It's like these people are hybrid humans mixed with something much colder than humans.

    • @Kingdom_of_God777
      @Kingdom_of_God777 2 роки тому

      @@britanyashley4241
      That’s quite interesting and I did not know that about blood types although I am aware that they are demon possessed or at the very least demon influenced; so while it is likely that they are still human beings in the physical sense inside there is nothing but a black evil void and the only place waiting for them is called Hell
      Thank you about the info regarding blood types bcuz this is now yet another aspect of narcissism that I will need to research
      I appreciate it !❤️

    • @ketokitchen2799
      @ketokitchen2799 2 роки тому +3

      In Christianity it’s called a Jezebel spirit.

  • @teal1010
    @teal1010 3 роки тому +70

    "To expect someone who is Bipolar or Narcissistic to engage with you in a manner that other people would engage with you is going to set up an expectation that will necessarily leave you disappointed!

    • @rebeccahjohnson9339
      @rebeccahjohnson9339 2 роки тому +1

      This is all very entertaining really but instead of entertaining you’re weak minded, beyond pathetic to point of embarrassment comments. Not all of you but most. So I’m going to enjoy my night and not let careless comments mean anything. Have a blessed weekend.

    • @britanyashley4241
      @britanyashley4241 2 роки тому +1

      I told my friend this last night. Stop expecting him to do the right things. You know what to expect from him. Stop setting yourself up for disappointment. He is predictable, start learning his cycle.

  • @lotushealingsanctuary
    @lotushealingsanctuary 3 роки тому +48

    They openly perjure themselves just as some default function. It's incredible.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +3

      Yes so sad.

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 3 роки тому +3

      Amen 🙏🏻 GF ! They feel entitled to

    • @lotushealingsanctuary
      @lotushealingsanctuary 3 роки тому +3

      @@hawaiigirl8089 "entitled" exactly. Should be criminal ; )

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 3 роки тому +4

      @@lotushealingsanctuary the judge we have couldn’t care less. It’s outrageous. We have No court reporters either so the nutty judges are having fun abusing whom ever they wish as tho family court wasn’t a nightmare

    • @lotushealingsanctuary
      @lotushealingsanctuary 3 роки тому +10

      @@hawaiigirl8089 I understand. There seems to be a need for accountability, but how can that occur when facts become twisted?
      Remember, it is the bigger person who does not allow someone else's lack of character to damage your spirit. It's important to maintain who you are and know you'll never succumb to such cowardice. In the end, I think that's what it is. They lie because they don't have the strength to be truthful and take responsibility.

  • @ogenevieve
    @ogenevieve 2 роки тому +14

    This was incredible! When she said that if you don't take time out for yourself, the narc still has the ability to work on you even when they're not there, that blew me away! Bcuz she's 100% correct.

  • @aftergreece1
    @aftergreece1 3 роки тому +77

    When the narcissist is running the lawyers on both sides. It’ll be nice when true justice prevails. It’s coming.

    • @Level4Bio
      @Level4Bio 3 роки тому +21

      The majority of Judges are Narcs! Don't get fooled into thinking you can win with them in court. They are pure evil. It's the kids that suffer and they laugh in chambers when they destroy you. Lawyers and judges are all in bed together!!

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +6

      Yes let’s hope so!

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +5

      Education is key!

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 3 роки тому +2

      Exactly what’s happening to Me in court

    • @found-it0620
      @found-it0620 3 роки тому +11

      Joy B & Kango hal - exactly. The lawyers are in cahoots together against women here. 1 of 12 women friends were totally screwed. No concern for equity, no accountability or force to get discovery. Certainly, Free Mason influence behind this good-ole-boy system here.

  • @johnwentz3925
    @johnwentz3925 2 роки тому +10

    Stuck in lengthy legal litigation for years, with no end in sight. Wasted 2 years trying to negotiate and settle. I am finally coming to terms that there is no reasoning or settling with a narcissist when going through a divorce from them. Nightmare!

  • @lorileveto3605
    @lorileveto3605 3 роки тому +30

    I love Judge Toler! The advice is perfect and exactly learned to be like this. I am over a year in separation trying to divorce a narcissist that I was married to over 30 years. I have been doing things that scare me to become stronger and not scared. I used to be so scared and now I just don’t even let him get to me. No one understood my life or understand what I was going through. I have learned that’s ok I didn’t understand it either. After over 30 years of his crazy antics and always knowing that things were not normal and did not know how to leave and living a bizzare life behind closed doors, I never thought I would feel so powerful. Thanks to Rebecca Zung and Dr Ramani I have gained so much strength and learned that what he says doesn’t matter. I can’t wait to be through this and living a great life with my kids. I have always said the prize my eye is on is peace. Thank you so much these videos are lifesavers!❤️

    • @jackpetersen7545
      @jackpetersen7545 2 роки тому +1

      Lori Loveto,You look gorgeous 🌷,you don’t need a narcissist in your life!

    • @hilaryglasser2475
      @hilaryglasser2475 Рік тому

      Thank you for sharing. You are an inspiration.

  • @anneervin-mccartney3113
    @anneervin-mccartney3113 3 роки тому +40

    I downloaded the Judge’s book from audible -My Mother’s Rules. Such good advice.

  • @jans724
    @jans724 Рік тому +10

    Thank you Judge, and thank you Rebecca! I am in custody conflict with a covert narcissist and have to protect my daughter (against her mother). Unfortunately the legal and court system is extremely biased against fathers. After 18 months of hell it now starts looking better, but my main concern is how to protect my daughter against psychological and emotional abuse. This talk was useful and I recognise so much.

  • @deepsleepoceansounds100
    @deepsleepoceansounds100 2 роки тому +6

    Lynn Toler is and always will be the very.BEST judge on Divorce Court. Always kicking knowledge and so graceful in her delivery. I’m a fan for life!

  • @angelacapranica7701
    @angelacapranica7701 3 роки тому +42

    Let’s hear another interview with Judge Toler

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +8

      We will definitely have her back!

    • @jacquelinetillyer8666
      @jacquelinetillyer8666 3 роки тому

      @@RebeccaZungEsq please! What an amazing judge but I have never seen her before as living in UK. I am battling a vile divorce in Turkey. At long last I have found a honest lawyer who deals also with Turkish women in DV situations offering free service. I have been reduced to my knees but understanding we are dealing with Narcissist gives me the strength to stand up for my rights.

  • @one_ice_cold_chiq
    @one_ice_cold_chiq 3 роки тому +48

    Judge Toler is my hero and digital mom. Thank you for this!

  • @morganreese4257
    @morganreese4257 3 роки тому +21

    “This is an unraveling of the past… it’s not your present”. I’m going to frame this. Thank you, this was most informative.

  • @kalicosmetics
    @kalicosmetics 3 роки тому +49

    I love judge Lynn toler.

  • @ConfidencePT
    @ConfidencePT 2 роки тому +14

    Any time I've had to go to court with an ex for stupid reasons (or a landlord, one time) where they made up crap and went that path, I've always focused on remaining calm and factual and just presenting the evidence I have. I've seen my brother have to deal with his narcissistic pathological lying ex in court over custody and frivolous protection orders she's tried and I've always told him, just remain calm and let her run her mouth, because she always will and the judge will see that.

  • @paulineburke7965
    @paulineburke7965 3 роки тому +14

    At my Man's funeral the narc ex told me he was insulted that my cousins didn't come and say hello. He asked if he was looking older, and I replied 'Maybe' , Then I smiled and walked away. I was grieving the sudden death of my beloved Mother, but it was all about him. He did not allow our son to attend the beautiful cremation service. I became so detatched from that 'parent'. I was free. 💚

  • @feliciacrump1640
    @feliciacrump1640 3 роки тому +27

    If you want to win in court from a narcissist LET THEM TALK! THEY BURY THEMSELVES ALL THE TIME! Keep all documentation/text messages

    • @teal1010
      @teal1010 3 роки тому +5

      💯
      In court AND life in general!

    • @feliciacrump1640
      @feliciacrump1640 3 роки тому +1

      @@teal1010 Facts of life lol

    • @Esorivera1
      @Esorivera1 2 роки тому +1

      Big facts!!!

    • @lisaelder2879
      @lisaelder2879 Рік тому +4

      Amen...100%. When you let them talk and you have evidence that they are lying, they get very angry. Document everything. Always. You are correct!

    • @taracannonllc
      @taracannonllc 22 дні тому

      I LOVE it!!!!

  • @judithmiller5624
    @judithmiller5624 2 роки тому +17

    I love Judge Toler! She's so common sense and brings wisdom to relationships. I love that she actually brings great compassionate advice to couples who haven't connected the dots.

  • @travelinotheofilus555
    @travelinotheofilus555 3 роки тому +18

    to all that is in these situation please change the use of your word from "victim" into "SURVIVOR", you are stronger than these narcissists...-CaptainStroopwafel, Amsterdam

  • @saw727
    @saw727 Рік тому +13

    More videos with Judge Lynn Toler please!!!! 😁 Such peace of mind

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 місяці тому

      You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar- slaythenarc.com

  • @pokerprincess3013
    @pokerprincess3013 3 роки тому +72

    You can't negotiate with them. You have to abide by the judgment and make use of emergency injunctions. They eventually end up in jail or losing custody and other rights.

    • @feliciacrump1640
      @feliciacrump1640 3 роки тому +3

      Big facts!

    • @janesasinek7126
      @janesasinek7126 2 роки тому +9

      I have an order of protection against my husband. Even though he tried calling both of my phones I still reported it to the sheriffs dept so it was on record even though they couldn't do anything. I blocked him shortly after that. Within 2 weeks I missed a call from his sister who didn't leave a msg either. I reported it to the officer who asked me for both of their numbers. She called them both and reminded him that we have an order of protection and he could not contact me. Within 2 weeks he left me a message on my cell even though he was blocked. I reported it and showed all the evidence. They arrested him and he has a court date on Nov 24. My victims advocate will be there with me. Thank you for the advice because I'm working on staying strong and not break down due to his lies!

  • @eponymoususer8923
    @eponymoususer8923 3 роки тому +46

    If a person is being disrespectful, AND they display a narcissistic pattern, even calling out “that was unnecessary” May be ineffective because it’s acknowledgement. Instead it may be more helpful to acknowledge whatever concern they raise with their disrespect, and then refocus to the issue at hand.
    Focus on the issue that’s bringing you to the table with that person.
    “I understand that’s a concern for you. We are here to address (name your issues).” Address issues. Forget the insult.

    • @THampton
      @THampton 3 роки тому +1

      That's hard even when I try to be calm the other just continues and continues and I respond I'm getting emotional when they continuously insult me.

    • @fbnotyalc9299
      @fbnotyalc9299 2 роки тому +2

      @@THampton Yes, that's a very difficult situation. I've been there myself. While I completely understand, and empathize with, your end of it, consider this (maybe?): Quite often (maybe always?), a narcissist does this as a form of getting their "supply". When they succeed in getting their victim to "break down", or "lose it", narcissists derive a feeling of - superiority (because they're in control of *their* emotions); power (because they pushed their victim "over the edge"); etc. In the narcs eyes, it puts the victim in a lower "status", at least for that situation/moment. Of course, most times narcissists *hate* to see their victims crying. But that's not

    • @fbnotyalc9299
      @fbnotyalc9299 2 роки тому +1

      @@THampton Yes, that's a very difficult situation. I've been there myself. While I completely understand, and empathize with, your end of it, consider this (maybe?): Quite often (maybe always?), a narcissist does this as a form of getting their "supply". When they succeed in getting their victim to "break down", or "lose it", narcissists derive a feeling of - superiority (because they're in control of *their* emotions); power (because they pushed their victim "over the edge"); etc. In the narcs eyes, it puts the victim in a lower "status", at least for that situation/moment. It's true, most of the time narcissists despise seeing their victims cry. But when they're intentionally trying to cause their victim to lose control emotionally, it's a different situation - it's what they want; and if you can keep from giving it to them, you'll be giving yourself more power.🙂

    • @fbnotyalc9299
      @fbnotyalc9299 2 роки тому +1

      @@THampton Yes, that's a very difficult situation. I've been there myself. While I completely understand, and empathize with, your end of it, consider this (maybe?): Quite often (maybe always?), a narcissist does this as a form of getting their "supply". When they succeed in getting their victim to "break down", or "lose it", narcissists derive a feeling of - superiority (because they're in control of *their* emotions); power (because they pushed their victim "over the edge"); etc. In the narcs eyes, it puts the victim in a lower "status", at least for that situation/moment. Of course, most times narcissists *hate* to see their victims crying. But that's not

    • @THampton
      @THampton 2 роки тому

      @@fbnotyalc9299 Thank you. I'm learning. Just trying to process everything and continue learning so I can continue to heal. Taking it one step at a time.

  • @darjeeling7519
    @darjeeling7519 3 роки тому +27

    Thank you Rebecca and Lynn. I'm being harassed for 3 months by a disgruntled tenant. My life has been hell until the hearing later this month. Your videos are calming and giving me tools to make my case. Thank you very much.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +5

      So glad to hear the videos are helping. Sending you light.

  • @hannahbahtyaqov9319
    @hannahbahtyaqov9319 3 роки тому +17

    There’s different levels to Jerkism. 💝
    Truth.
    Thank you both. Two outstanding, genuine, caring, educated, and very helpful women. 💝

  • @Jennifer-iw9bl
    @Jennifer-iw9bl 3 роки тому +26

    The Judge will go with what is the most rationale. Great advice.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +4

      Yes. You need facts. That’s what will win.

  • @joycenichols6187
    @joycenichols6187 3 роки тому +8

    The judge I had in my divorce acted like he was afraid of my narc. He committed contempt of court at least 2 times and the judge did nothing. Never done anything the judge ordered and nothing ever happened. His own lawyer even quit in the middle of the case.

  • @mariabennett6668
    @mariabennett6668 3 роки тому +59

    I wish I could have had Either one of you as my lawyer to see through the whole thing. I was robbed blind in addition to having been cheated on and lied to through the entire so called marriage

    • @minibajwa7831
      @minibajwa7831 3 роки тому

      am an Indian, how can you help

    • @ckuwi
      @ckuwi Рік тому

      Narcissistic are liars blamers manipulators guilters constant spin cycle ….. never change

  • @danbride9407
    @danbride9407 3 роки тому +45

    Well I like when you spontaneously REBECCA PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER IN FRONT OF YOUR CHEST IN A 🙏 and I liked when the judge said lovers can come and go but education etc etc pays the bills and puts food on the table iam saying.

    • @bernitacenteno1326
      @bernitacenteno1326 3 роки тому

      The folded hands is the ancient Chinese way of greeting one another, I suspect, along with a deep bow. It's not a prayer like in the Western culture, I think. Please do correct me if you find that I made a mistake.

    • @Tarotcooks
      @Tarotcooks 3 роки тому

      👏👏👏

  • @janellegerber2794
    @janellegerber2794 3 роки тому +11

    Wish I had you two when I got my divorce from my NARCISSIST (attorney) husband 29 years ago. When asked if I ever had any regrets over divorcing his I say NO - even though he manipulated back into court year after year to reduce alimony and child support to the point of having to see EVERYTHING to pay attorney fees until my back was totally against the wall. He always said “I will never get mad but I will get even!”

    • @lovewhitey2027
      @lovewhitey2027 3 роки тому +6

      They always tell you who they are don’t they... Thank God you are FREE 🙏🏻

  • @lindamcandrew1229
    @lindamcandrew1229 2 роки тому +9

    Judge Lynn Toler was amazing and very likable. I loved hearing her words of wisdom.
    Thank you to both of you!

  • @lindamaxwell9120
    @lindamaxwell9120 2 роки тому +16

    The judicial system was the best and fairest part of my departure from two narcissistic husbands. I didn’t know about this type of personality but the judges saw right through these people immediately. Love you two ladies! ❤️😇😇

    • @jackpetersen7545
      @jackpetersen7545 2 роки тому +1

      Linda Maxwell,You are beautiful 🌷🌹,you don’t need a narcissist in your life!

  • @patcunhafranca
    @patcunhafranca 3 роки тому +8

    I wish more judges were that illuminated and transparent. Love her. 💪❤

  • @JoJo-ju7xw
    @JoJo-ju7xw 3 роки тому +33

    I've always thought Judge Lynn Toler looks like Angelina Jolie or Leslie Carson . . . such a beautiful lady

    • @tembamhangami3655
      @tembamhangami3655 3 роки тому +5

      Wonder if that matters. Maybe let's focus on the fundamental issues Lynn is discussing with Zung rather than on pedestrian issues of look alikes.

    • @mzwonderfuljuhheard2
      @mzwonderfuljuhheard2 3 роки тому

      👀👀👀👀🙄

    • @brooklynzoo2810
      @brooklynzoo2810 3 роки тому +1

      @@tembamhangami3655 🤣🤣🤣😅

    • @JoJo-ju7xw
      @JoJo-ju7xw 3 роки тому +1

      @@tembamhangami3655 Temba, this sounds like an issue for you that goes deeper than a causal observation of mine. I'm able to do both things - consider her thoughts and say I think she is beautiful. I see nothing wrong in that.

    • @JoJo-ju7xw
      @JoJo-ju7xw 3 роки тому +2

      @Tiki Thompson That she does : )

  • @laurawilliams7407
    @laurawilliams7407 3 роки тому +30

    What you’re describing as persistent I would call relentless - and not in a good way.

    • @WellnesspodcastTV
      @WellnesspodcastTV 3 роки тому +3

      They burn themselves out!

    • @Escobaz96
      @Escobaz96 3 роки тому +3

      Exactly they can't let go of anything they may lose in

  • @Ahollywoodjoevideodiaryseries
    @Ahollywoodjoevideodiaryseries 3 роки тому +49

    This was a good video, as a male it was good listening and appreciating things that our useful to all genders and people. Learning is a process.

  • @snewman777
    @snewman777 3 роки тому +8

    I always enjoy hearing Judge Lynn Toler speak. She's a very wise woman.

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 3 роки тому +16

    This judge is Honest, other judges who are not stable dont care! My judge BENDS OVER zzzzz backwards to HELP the man

  • @dapsolita
    @dapsolita 3 роки тому +3

    “ make them ancillary” that’s gold.

  • @raynaortiz3260
    @raynaortiz3260 3 роки тому +33

    OMG. This was the best birthday gift. After almost ten years of this BS behavior and looking for a way to keep it together and find a way to bring it to completion in court (and everywhere else), this is just what I needed to hear. I know I can do this now. Thank you, Rebecca!

    • @jackpetersen7545
      @jackpetersen7545 2 роки тому +2

      Rayna Ortiz,You are beautiful 🌷,you don’t need a narcissist in your life!

    • @liahnnafrancisco7513
      @liahnnafrancisco7513 Рік тому +1

      I’m watching this on my birthday too 😅🥳

  • @jennifermuncy9143
    @jennifermuncy9143 3 роки тому +8

    ❤️ it! That moment when you realize you’re just playing a part you’re so good at playing,... your whole life=that’s the sweet spot! “put a period on it &do something else”😇🙏
    Thank you ladies!
    ...... yup shock the fun out of it & shut it down to move on quickly.

  • @charlenewright8163
    @charlenewright8163 2 роки тому +2

    Judge Lynn Taylor is 62 years young, and she could still tell people, believably, that she’s in her 40s!! I love it! Great advice ladies. Thanks!

  • @indeara6313
    @indeara6313 3 роки тому +7

    Narcs are charming and masterful manipulators. This is great dialogue. 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽♥️🙏🏽 bless you both for sharing this conversation.

  • @jennifernunez5890
    @jennifernunez5890 3 роки тому +21

    Oh that’s exactly what I needed. I really feel empowered but definitely not letting my guard down. Thank you both

  • @nottoday4586
    @nottoday4586 3 роки тому +4

    Judge Toler is dropping some serious gems. This is very useful for life.

  • @Mulata723
    @Mulata723 3 роки тому +6

    "Court approved app like Family Wizard..." Yes! Thank you, beautiful ladies 🤗

  • @pamelapatterson5261
    @pamelapatterson5261 3 роки тому +15

    The lying is so frustrating.

  • @madamxnoirmore7824
    @madamxnoirmore7824 3 роки тому +15

    FABULOUS!!! THANK YOU REBECCA AND THE HONORABLE JUDGE LYN TOLER FOR ALL YOUR VALUABLE, USEFUL AND MUCH NEEDED INFORMATION❣️😘

  • @anthonysantacruz896
    @anthonysantacruz896 3 роки тому +2

    Before my divorce started I watched all your videos,and I beat my Narc in court , thank you sooooooo much .

  • @coggsy100
    @coggsy100 2 роки тому +5

    The best part of the interview for me was keeping one’s composure. Tough for me even when I know I have to check it. I gotta work on this. Narcissists are pros at triggering this. Thank you so much

  • @aliyafichtner8843
    @aliyafichtner8843 3 роки тому +10

    I cannot believe I did have to look this up, my divorce is on Wednesday, and I have healed from most of the abuse I went thru in my marriage after leaving 3 years ago. I still get anxiety knowing I am going to face my ex narc. Judge Lynn, your smile contagious 🥰

    • @aliyafichtner8843
      @aliyafichtner8843 2 роки тому +2

      5months later, I am rewatching this, I'm not divorced yet 😪😪 back to this video for guidance, because boy oh boy, I'm going through the worst court; divorce and custody battle. I actually thought it will all be done on that Wednesday when I got invited, but hell na

    • @ca5956
      @ca5956 2 роки тому

      Why 3 years?

    • @aliyafichtner8843
      @aliyafichtner8843 2 роки тому

      @@ca5956 lol read above. By the way, I'm still not divorced yet. The battle goes on and on and on

    • @ketokitchen2799
      @ketokitchen2799 2 роки тому +1

      What is the bottle about? Is he fighting for custody of your children or doesn’t want to support you financially? I’m going to file divorce soon.

    • @aliyafichtner8843
      @aliyafichtner8843 2 роки тому +1

      @@ketokitchen2799 both. But most importantly to show me that he has power over me, I'm way below him, and to hurt me. By the way the battle is currently still going on, and the authorities have still authorised him to have my children. Very tough situation but I have decided to grow grow amidst all the storm. It's very tough, but I'm improving myself, travel a bit, and try to do things I couldn't manage to do with kids. Still hard

  • @CADreemz
    @CADreemz 3 роки тому +20

    Thank you both! This was awesome. I loved learning how accessible, "human and real" the Judge was emotionally & otherwise. I will be checking out her books for my kids, and my self

  • @robinr5705
    @robinr5705 10 місяців тому +1

    This was great, thank you so much! My first divorce case management conference to the malignant abusive pathological narc is coming up in October. What resonated with me the most isJudge Tolers comments from 24:40-25:55 "Part of the narcissists power is the ability to destabilize you. He or she will be working against you the whole time."..."This time (the divorce period) is transitional, it is a winding down of a past life, it is not your present, it is transitional in nature."

  • @tobascoheat6582
    @tobascoheat6582 2 роки тому +2

    Oh, my cow!!! This woman just described my sister and my brother!!! If you get in an argument with either one of them, they are not going to SHUT-UP until THEY get THE LAST FRIGGIN' WORD!!!!

  • @maxvfour7345
    @maxvfour7345 2 роки тому +2

    I did defeat a narsisist in the divorce court.
    I responded to every dishonesty they made.
    I.e. she said when I left I cut up all her underwear I corrected this, I did not cut up all her underwear. I only cut up the nice bits that I had bought in perticular. I did this to every dishonesty she made. It was quite satisifeing whatching her have to except the truth in court.
    The real surprise was just how taken in her solicitor was with all her deciet. She was little in shock by the end of the case.
    I felt quite enpowered. Be strong is my advice to those struggling to cope. X judges are very intelligent, empowered people if your completely honest the judge will recognise that fact.

  • @dianahogg6164
    @dianahogg6164 3 роки тому +5

    Eye opening amazing interview with Judge Toler. Thankyou I have learned not to be so capable as the Narc insisted on and fed off. Excuse myself and recollect my hurt and my feelings instead of being his puppet. I'm a strong woman but have been destroyed by a Narrissist. Enlightened by you two strong women xx

  • @SewGigi
    @SewGigi 3 роки тому +5

    I can’t thank you enough for this you tube discussion. I loved it and so need it as I approach my trial with my narcissistic niece and nephew. My emotions are all over the place and I have a hard time fighting for myself. Crazy, I know, but, true. I was brain washed as a child because of my narcissistic father and brother. Thank you so much 😊

  • @brownies2001
    @brownies2001 3 роки тому +3

    I am a fan of Judge Toler and I appreciate her conversation. She is fair and relatable - "a narcissist's goal is there the ability to disable you"- she is a smart auntie i would come to for advice. Great move to have her on your show!

  • @SONAAwareness
    @SONAAwareness 3 роки тому +22

    Omg I love ❤️ her!!!

  • @bookerlo1977
    @bookerlo1977 3 роки тому +13

    Rebecca Zung, thank you for the interview.

  • @SimbaAliaye
    @SimbaAliaye 3 роки тому +17

    Aww, what a great interview!

  • @cathyditota2476
    @cathyditota2476 Рік тому +4

    I just love and appreciate you both!! I started my journey 2.5 years again and I had a plan to leave and you ladies , dr Carmen Rameni and the Tea on npd, I hop j said everyone’s names the best I could and if I left anyone out I’m sorry ! You guys have helped me take my power back and doing me finally so I could be the best me for our boys!!!

  • @eponymoususer8923
    @eponymoususer8923 3 роки тому +7

    Thank you so much for giving us viewers some time with such an introspective, intelligent, insightful person. I thoroughly enjoyed this video.

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 3 роки тому +10

    I love this Judge! She is a GEM 💎. As you are TOO Rebecca! 💎🙏🏻

  • @Mysticus11
    @Mysticus11 3 роки тому +8

    Love the joy and honesty of this strong and vibrant woman! ⚖️ Lotsa great stuff in here, but disappointed no talk about custody issues. Thanks RZ 🌀

  • @mackenzie4757
    @mackenzie4757 3 роки тому +4

    Amazing interview. I listened to every minute and particularly liked the idea she gave to say "That was really unnecessary" as a response to disrespect.

  • @lynn2551
    @lynn2551 3 роки тому +13

    So much wisdom! I love Judge Lynn Taylor.

  • @theforensicbadass
    @theforensicbadass Рік тому +2

    The very realistic an unfortunate thing is, most victim survivors deal with the court process right after discard. They're a mess with diagnosis like prolonged exposure to complex post-traumatic stress disorder. It is literally impossible to tell a victim Survivor that they have to keep calm and not be emotional through the court process. I think what we should be teaching victim survivors, is to plan the strategy, and divorce them a year or two after escape. This way you have your emotions much more regulated and able to take on the stress anxiety gaslighting manipulation and abuse of the Judiciary System.

  • @1-FunGramma
    @1-FunGramma 3 роки тому +5

    Such a great informative interview! Thank you Rebecca for all of your helpful videos.

  • @litsabradford5043
    @litsabradford5043 3 роки тому +9

    Excellent, thank you so much. I will share this with my patients who are divorcing narcissists. You and the judge are quite a powerhouse duo!

  • @lynylcullen8370
    @lynylcullen8370 2 роки тому +1

    “To understand is power”! Beautiful!

  • @suavis2063
    @suavis2063 3 роки тому +3

    29 year old trying to get her guardianship back. Adoptive mother who adopted disabled children and was head first into CPS the moment my sister was pregnant.
    She is a narsassist. The adoptive mother.
    When u said judges is bias. Court system unfair. Narsassist always wins, I got that. Yep.

  • @weareallone6148
    @weareallone6148 3 роки тому +2

    Judge Lynn Toler, my Favorite Judge! Love and Respect to this Beautiful Woman!

  • @barbaraschultz1442
    @barbaraschultz1442 3 роки тому +6

    Judge Lyn, years of wisdom. Thank you for doing this! Please do part 2! Rebecca please have 40 top questions ready to be answered by Judge Lyn (in advance) for a future rapid fire response format ;)

  • @claudiarice8123
    @claudiarice8123 3 роки тому +6

    Saw this at the right time. Just what I needed.

  • @SewGigi
    @SewGigi 3 роки тому +1

    And I love Judge Lynn Toler. I love you, too! Rebecca. Thank you for sharing and helping so many in these horrible situations.

  • @maru63able
    @maru63able 3 роки тому +24

    So is this about how the judge feels in a divorce between the narcissist and his victim or how the victim has been abused by a narcissist

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +7

      And what to do about it!

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 3 роки тому +8

      Don’t expect other judges to be as smart or, caring as this woman. She is also Retired & was famous in the 90’s. Today’s judges (generalizing here ) are a callous, different breed. Most are odd & have their own emotional disturbances to take out on the people that come before them

    • @Tarotcooks
      @Tarotcooks 3 роки тому +1

      @@hawaiigirl8089 💯

    • @brooklynzoo2810
      @brooklynzoo2810 3 роки тому +1

      @@hawaiigirl8089 I'd say we should start Hexing🧙🏾‍♀️📿 these Narcs🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @SherrieRuffino
    @SherrieRuffino 3 роки тому +2

    Being a wife of a narcissist of 35 years, I have been prepared many years for the just in case Divorce. I have collected my medical , police, ambulatory, etc. paperwork from the year, 1988.

  • @zechariahrivietz8213
    @zechariahrivietz8213 3 роки тому +2

    Judge Toler Interview was one of your best!!

  • @rosahunt3566
    @rosahunt3566 3 роки тому +1

    I love this one. Judge Lynn T. answered so many questions I needed. Iam married for 21 yrs. to a Man with Bipolar/ Mental issues from the navy. And didn’t know until two years ago. Narcissistic is his fun thing everyday. Thank God I heard some way to keep me in a happy place.

  • @sarahfolk2837
    @sarahfolk2837 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you Rebecca!! I needed to hear all of this. Bless you!

  • @hillarybraskett8820
    @hillarybraskett8820 3 роки тому +1

    This is fantastic. I look up to Judge Lynn so much and the two of you together was great. Flowed very well.

  • @lisagerold6341
    @lisagerold6341 2 роки тому

    I loved the phrase “Face Your Fears” best. I have a picture on my wall with me facing a lion, my lion of fears. I see it every day and live by it. Thank you for all you amazing videos Rebecca!

  • @Shut-up-Shelly
    @Shut-up-Shelly 3 роки тому +21

    Amazing advise thank you both so much!! Documenting is best! Hold your peace!! Thank you!!

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  3 роки тому +4

      Yes, yes and yes!

    • @lovewhitey2027
      @lovewhitey2027 3 роки тому +4

      When watching Rebecca videos put on CC Im a retired teacher and the more senses you use you will absorb the knowledge I also take notes 💥✍🏻

  • @sabymindbiz
    @sabymindbiz 3 роки тому

    Love to listen to Judge Lynn Toler...she is so brilliant, with down to earth humor & interesting to listen to her life lesson wisdom. Huge Fan of Divorce Court. Thank you, Rebecca!💕💯✌

  • @tinaf600
    @tinaf600 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you both! My takeaway is to not deliver to them the emotional response they are looking for. Make it a game. I'm really going to start doing that.

  • @bridgetmccoy5725
    @bridgetmccoy5725 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you Judge. I tend to be high strung by nature & really appreciate your advice.

  • @rojundarjuan2148
    @rojundarjuan2148 2 роки тому +1

    I really admire those people who lives in rightiousness. Glad to have both of you as inspiration. Thank God...

  • @stacyswank5900
    @stacyswank5900 3 роки тому

    Your information couldn't have come at a better time! My mom is a narcissist and I've just figured it out about 3 months ago because of you and 1 other therapist... Thank you! You give me strength to go on to the next day... I wouldn't be able to get thru my depression and my constant 'why' in my head from every thing they say and do... It makes me crazy! And you bring peace to me!! Much love. .

  • @carlaraimer718
    @carlaraimer718 2 роки тому +4

    🌈🙏💜 Thank you so much. After a couple years of meditation & educating myself thanks to amazing people like yourself, I’m ready to stand my ground 🤗