EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW | Divorce Court's Judge Lynn Toler Drops Gems | Dear Future Wifey E804
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- Опубліковано 1 лип 2024
- How can emotional resilience help you during times of grief and hardship?
In episode 804, host Laterras R. Whitfield is joined by Judge Lynn Toler, who opens up about her life, love, and the lessons learned from her grieving journey. Judge Lynn Toler shares insights from her marriage of 33 years, her experiences growing up in a family with mental health conditions, and the transformative power of love and understanding in the face of life's challenges. From being on TV to building a solid marriage and saying goodbye to her husband, this is a powerful story on resilience and how learning in life is a never ending journey.
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📍Time Code:
[00:00:00] Intro
[00:04:44] The power of telling the truth
[00:07:42] How did Judge Lynn meet her husband?
[00:13:52] Sharing the grief journey
[00:18:46] Emotional intelligence in relationships
[00:28:46] Mental health in the family context
[00:45:03] The influence of family in your vision
[00:58:25] Processing love and loss
[01:06:3] Lessons of being married 33 years
[01:13:55] Being on TV
[01:19:00] Embracing life’s roller coaster
[01:27:19] Judge Lynn’s books and podcast
[01:34:47] Closing segment
[01:39:00] Laterras letter for his Dear Future Wifey
Key quotes:
"You can't stay mad and stay married." - Judge Lynn Toler
"The destination has always been happy. We didn't pick this ship, but since it's the ship you're on, we're going to help paddle it." - Judge Lynn Toler
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I love Judge Lynn Toler watched her on Divorce court one of my favorite quotes/wisdom nuggets from her is “Never let a man tell you twice he doesn’t want you”❤
Yesss! That's one of mine too
That changed my life
@@CherylYHowardGetYourLifeBack Mine Too! Bro you got One Time to tell Me.
This quote will stay with me forever. It's 100% the truth.
Yes Lord!!!
Judge Toler can talk about ANYTHING and I will be here for it❤
Love my Judge Lynn❤❤❤❤❤
She’s my role model! I’m trying to be like her
That part!
sooo beautiful ❤ thanks for sharing
ANYTHING…you hear me
I love that when she got within a quiet emotion, He knew how to motion her back into the process .
Very Great interview.
I was saying this, love how he navigated the interview when it became overwhelming
I love me some her!!! I am 36 years old and you've taught me so much about relationships. I was the daughter you never had and listened to you, quoted you and respected you! I will be here to support you in whatever podcast you choose! I love you Mama Toler!!!!
Lovely comment
Heartfelt and wonderful comment
This is a sentiment we share❤
You must have read her book Dear Sonali, Letters to the Daughter I Never Had. I love it! She's a prolific writer!
“He was willing to change to accommodate me” 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. This speaks volumes!!
When she talked about her husband coming home one day just to listen to her vent and then when she was done and he sure she was ok he went back to work, that did it for me. I hurt for her and I’m impressed she’s still standing. Never met the man but the way she talks about him tells us everything we need to know.
💯
my sentiments as well.
I CONCUR 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank You Queen…..
Talk about anything you want, we’re here for it!
"My plan was him and his plan was me." lmao..Facts! 🔥💯🔥💯🔥
Judge Lynn Can talk about anything and I’ll listen. Such a wealth of knowledge
“In a fight with anybody, the first battle is always with yourself”. That’s a word right there 😊
A very wise and generous lady. She's been through alot and shares her wisdom.
Yup I always say let me look at myself first
"Run your emotions, don't let your emotions run you". This has been a very gem dropping episode.
Thats not an epiphany.
y favorite judge ever! Brutally honest! ❤❤❤❤
Very!
K you are so right this is a Gem episode....
I officially realize that Judge Toler is one of my favorite people in the entire world. I think her books would be great to base the podcast series off of.
Judge Toler's husband Eric knew how to soothe her just like her mother knew how to soothe her father. That was such a blessing.
Her and her husband fully supported each other. They were each other’s rock.
"You cant stay mad and stay married!!"(gem packed session)
Every woman needs an elder like Judge Lynn to help her navigate life and I think that's what her podcast should be about, answering young women's questions and helping them navigate life like her mother did for her ❤️
I loved this interview and what struck me, was when she said life is like a roller coaster not a mountain to climb. I was just complaining to my sister that when you get up each day it is one thing after another because I was just climbing the mountain. Now that I know it is like a roller coaster I will be better prepared. I pray God continues to hold you in his bosom.
You can tell this conversation has somewhat helped Judge Lynn with her healing process by talking about her marriage and keeping the memory alive of her husband and parents Great interview!
Her mom covered the perception of their father’s image in their eyes… That is so powerful…💯🔥👏🏾👏🏾
Yes!!! I would love to just sit and listen to her mom
Each, I forgot that 💎 gem..❤
This was a life-changing, sad, but greatly encouraging podcast. I am 60, single, never married, and am so ready to take on the rest of my life of purpose. Thank You, Judge❤
This lady right *HERE* ... is the definition of a true queen❣️Love and light always, Judge Lynn. You are undeniably every woman, and that is truly something magical to behold.
“Beat the the game if everyone dies in order” my God talk about a blessing
"Some call it trauma, I call it trials......it made me stronger." That blessed my soul! It's all about what you do with what's happening in the moment! Thank you, thank for this interview!❤❤
She’s a legendary storyteller!!! I love her energy!! And she is wise beyond!! She makes everything she says clear and with complete understanding.
I so admire Judge Toler. A mighty woman of integrity and character. I can sit and listen to her wisdom for hours. Sending you all the best Auntie Your Honor.
“Auntie your honor” 🥰 I LOVE THAT!
Mann I am so charged by this interview!!! With pride, Joy, respect and even more love for my favorite Judge Lyn Toler!!!! You’re my girl! Even though we’ve never met!….Mann!
Don’t convey your frustration-Convey Information!!!!!! 🔥 🔥
Convey: to transport - to transfer - to forward-to channel
Meaning don’t allow your frustration (feelings) get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate.
Been married 24 years and this is facts!!!
!!!!!!!!
A gem!!
That hit deep
True 🙏🏾🙌🏾
@@ylondamiller7348 Right!!! This woman is giving free wisdom and counseling 😌
Judge Lynn just doesn't understand how much of a mentor or inspiration she is to me because I lost my husband and best friend of 23 years back on 12.18.2022. As I was going thru my grief unfortunately she had lost her husband shortly after that. Her inspiration, wisdom and strength encouraged me to understand and get thru my own suffering. I thank you my sister❤
Sorry for your loss 🙏
This is one of the most amazingly beautiful Interview, from beginning to end ♥️🙏🏽🤗
Me too!!! Lost my husband of 34 years around the same time.
My Heart Goes Out To You 🥰
PRAYERS UP 🙏🏼
Same here Sistar, I lost my husband 12/23. She is helping me with how to deal in my new normal. Good and bad days. Be well my Sistar.
“I didn’t need a man, but I wanted a family” I felt that with my soul
I seldom comment on UA-cam, but I needed to stop to say that this whole interview was a MasterClass in life. Thank you for having Judge Lynn on and Judge Lynn, thank you for sharing your life, wisdom and Eric with us
Absolutely love how she honors her mother, she sounds like a phenomenal woman!
And her father
She can talk about Mother’s Rules on her podcast…that alone is a pot of Gold!!!
I'm so glad mental illness is also talked about in such a loving way. Thanks for sharing your life Judge Toler!
Exactly. We would do better to seek understanding and our own emotional balance/intelligence, and extend grace. IMHO
✅
I loved this podcast so much. I applaud Judge Toler for her candid responses and her transparency during this difficult time. I miss her on Divorce Court. The podcast can be about relationships, self discovery after loss, navigating thru mental illness in families or random legal advice..the sky is the limit. I'm here for whatever she chooses.
Laterras, I've been watching your podcast for some time now, and I always thought you were a great interviewer. However, after watching you gracefully navigate Judge Lynn when she was close to breaking down, solidified it for me. This was a great interview with so many gems!!
Latteras Whitfield is an excellent interviewer who actually listens and gives Judge Lynn full response time.
"If I'm smiling at you I'm being nice. I'm not looking to be convinced!" 😂😂😂 Hallelujah! 🙌🏾 Now that's a word right there! Love Love Love Judge Lynn ❤
My quote of the year !!!
Trust me
Selah,💜
I Love Judge Toler
I'll sit on the floor and just listen to the wisdom.
As her daughter she never had!🎉❤❤
Stay strong
I’m always YouTuding early in the morning, at 67 and retired that’s what I do. Judge Lynn Toler this Podcast this morning on “Dear Future Wife” has ministered healing to from grief I have experienced from loss back to back, and I just want to say thank you for taking the call from Laterras R. Whitfield and agreeing to do this Podcast as your authentic self. ❤
❤
I am in love with her persona, wisdom, and strength on and off camera. Thank you, Auntie Lynn, for your beautiful testimony.
‼️♥️‼️♥️‼️♥️
Me too I could listen to her talk all day
Aunt Lynn had great insight as a young woman, would love to hear what her thoughts of not having great insight as a young person to resolve and work through as a mature person.
Listennnnnn, this right here needs to be celebrated. I follow her on TikTok, and we cried and prayed with her. She is truly loved, and I'm just glad to SEE that she's doing better. Death and grief ain't NO JOKE, but CHRIST will guide you through it. I know HE did it for me. Judge Auntie Lynn...we LOVE YOU....keep going.❤️❤️🥰
I lost my husband recently and would love to speak with Judge Toller. I've never made this request to anyone ever. So I thought I'd put it out there. How would I go about doing this. Any suggestions?
Thanks for Teaching & keeping it Real as Real can get. YOUR LIFE is truly a TREASURE for so many women and men for generations to come. Praying your Journey will continue to enlighten. THANKS
I could listen to Judge Lynn all day - she is FULL of wisdom.
💜 Seven is a number of completion. Her mother "The Baddest Chick" deserved 7 books. Thank you for the wisdom in this interview. I needed this Judge Toler. One of my best ladies just shared this with me and I am 1 hour in complete AWE!
"Don't convey your frustration, convey information." This podcast was so powerful and transformative!! Thank you, thank you, Laterras and Judge Toler!!
Judge Lynn... can talk about ANYTHING... I'M LISTENING...I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER!!! EVEN MORE TODAY!
Exactly, you took the words out of my mouth. I'd listen to anything Judge Lynn has to say. I still watch her Divorce Court videos on UA-cam. I visit her Instagram. I'm so happy to see her sharing what's she's been thru and the important people she's unfortunately lost. Never imagined how instrumental her husband was to her success. Happy to see and hear her on the upside if the roller coaster. I/we love you Judge Lynn, God Bless you!❤❤❤
She’s so open and transparent about her journey on her IG. Some of the dark moments she’s shared have had me praying like I know her. It’s so heartwarming to see her get to this place.
Laterras, I can’t believe you didn’t read her books before she came on your show. Her parents are sooo much of who she is. Her (written) story is everything.
I absolutely love Judge Lynn Toler! She’s so wise, transparent and full of gems. 💛 Thank you so much for sharing this interview.
I love the fact that she said "I'm not that social. It just happened to me." So much pressure is put on singles to do this or that. She was just living her life and someone else noticed that she would be a great fit. I truly believe the God of the impossible can do anything, even have your husband show up in unexpected places.
I know right 😊
Same. Im the same
Laterras, the way you handled this interview. Emmy worthy!
Exactly! He read the room and her very well. Much respect to him!
He understood his assignment. You can tell he was tapped. Wonderful Job Laterras❤
just watched the entire podcast...I'm in awe of this woman and the life she lived and is living. Her podcast could be about almost anything: her life in a "planned" black professional community; her time at white educational institutions and on to Harvard, her decision not to pursue her dad's aspirations for her career, life with a mentally ill dad and and an exceptionally emotionally gifted mom, raising sons, and of course marriage/relationships. I think that she is still navigating her grief and really think that is for a conversation wa-a-a-a-y in the future.
But whatever you guys come up with I am here for it. Thank you for this conversation and giving it all of the time it needed. I can't imaging your cutting out any of these moments.
I am watching now March 3rd 2024....
Judge Lynn is truly a phenomenal woman.
Those who love her profound intellect and her ability to teach, enlighten, and empower anyone whose mind and heart are open to growth can overcome obstacles we face during our journey through life.
Special Blessings Judge Lynn you are simply the best.❤❤😊😊❤❤❤
I have been praying for you so much. During her grief, i felt like she was a family member grieving and I couldnt help. It is amazing how humans can love and care about someone you have never met. Auntie, I feel so much better knowing you are in a better place. ❤
me too
I would just Love to Hear Judge Lynn Toler just Share Life Lessons like she is Talking to you. She is Absolutely POWERFUL
✅🥰
I love Judge Toler. Fell in love watching her on Divorce Court listening for her wisdom. I felt her pain when her husband died. I wish her all the best and look forward to what she has next.
What a man....a real man...dealing with his illness but also working extremely hard for his household....nobody fam is perfect...i think Judge Toler's family was what it was suppose to be. God llowed them, her to make. So she did. Bless you. This been a blessing to hear ...!!!!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
@01:01:10 She got me when she cried...Loved her advices:
↪️You gotta get that life is a roller coaster, it doesn't always get better, it gets up and down
↪️I don't make room for ppl that I don't like
↪️If you want the situation to change, change first
↪️When you have an issue with someone, the 1st battle is always with yourself
↪️You beat the game when you bury each other in the right order
↪️I have 6 sons, I'll always have a date!
I have all her 3 books and have yet to finish them!
Wow! Thank you !
I love her gems. She is such a wholesome woman❤
Thank you Laterras. I really appreciate how you handled Judge Lynn in this interview. You never rushed her and you allowed her to grieve without you getting uncomfortable. I also think you did a great job of keeping the interview moving. Great job!
Yes I noticed this. That’s great emotional intelligence from Laterras
YES! Such great balance ! He did an awesome job with this interview!
He does such a great job!
The conversation was so easy and authentic. She’s a gem.
This is the most awesome and informative interview I've ever listened to, to the end. I am 84 years old; learned SOOO much and took away lots.
Thank you much for taking this time to share such, about your life.
I believe the Lord Thy God allowed you and your family to go through all you've been through, to share and bless this new generation and especially the older generation.
May the Lord continue to bless you as you move into your new normal.
Yes. Amen.
Amen
Amen🎉
Judge Toler is so charming! I second checking out judgment call podcast for down to earth wisdom.
This is my girl! I have learned so much from her. I am praying for her complete healing. I can only imagine her pain. I love you judge Lynn. Be blessed!
I've learned so much from her too.
She can talk about ANYTHING as far as I'm concerned, because I know she's always going to be REAL. 👏👏❤️
I've learned so much from her ALSO
I dearly love this woman because she is honest and allows us to learn from our mistakes with her advice and encouragement to make better choices. She is awesome!❤😊
Judge Lynn Toler’s advice is timeless!
'Rose up like yeast' 😮
My mouth dropped 😂😂😂
Stunned 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂..I laughed so hard when she said that!
Loved this episode. Judge Lynn podcast should consist of many seasons. 1.The wisdom from her mother. 2. Making marriage work. 3. Life as a widow. 4. Most interesting stories from Divorce court. 5. Commitment, Communication and compromise. 6. Respect my Daddy, He was that Dude. 7. Legal advise for those caught in the middle of messy lives.
These 7 seasons in any order would be great.
Praying for your comfort and peace ❣️🙏🏾
Here is a perfect living!
You’de make a phenomenal podcast producer @tachiadace8156
I loved this interview with Judge Lynn Toler ! She is a force! Dropping gems for living life. Teaching life lessons through her mother's teachings. She could easily have a podcast where she gives advice that helps people navigate life's issues in the world full of crazies. Just giving advice to people that need solid advice on anything relationships, and living.
Whatever she decides to do, we will be there for it!!
There is a level(s) of respect and care the judge's parents demonstrated to her and her sister that, unfortunately, separates her experience from being a "trauma" to a "trial."
She spoke of her mother's emotional intelligence, not in theory, but in action, she spoke of her father's mental health diagnoses as it related to a period of time and cultural understanding (or lack thereof).
Judge Lynn Toler's parents seemed to be intentional people who made sure their children would have a sense of purpose.
It's always refreshing to hear people speak in this way.
Mrs. Lynn you radiate authenticity. That's why you are loved from people. People are looking for that character without make up, to direct them, since 99% of them are lost
LISTEN… when I say… I haven’t been so ready to listen to a podcast as I am this episode. YES GOD! Use her!!! ❤
As a young widow myself, I love that you had her on. This was a very healing episode. Thanks for sharing this with the world. ❤❤❤
Amen; same here, I found it truly inspiring and genuine.
🙏💐💐sending you comfort and ❤
@tysgem7 ME too. Gone 6 years had been married for 48 ❤️💔❤️
Judge Lynn Toler is The Best!!
She could talk about ANYTHING on a Podcast, and I would listen. That woman is a fountain ⛲ of Wusdome. 🙏🏼 My condolences for your loss🙏🏼 May God Bless you, Judge! 🤍 Love ya!
Man oh man this lady is a gem. I can listen to her talk all day everyday.
I haven’t even started yet and I’m short getting emotional 🥺🥺🥺. Ima comment again after the video yall😂😂😂😂
Me too!! Let me get my tissues. 😂
Same. She is so humble and wise. I have to watch without being distracted.
Me too girl...I love Judge Lynn and I love her and Big E's love story.
Me too, Kleenex on hand.
I started tearing up during my morning walk. Such a beautiful story ❤
I would love to see Judge just talk about life. Picking a different topic every week from the viewers and allow her to share and impart wisdom on us all. Love, kids, work, marriage, siblings, parents.... especially caring for your parents in their older age. I am newly 50 and started caring for my dad a few years back. He is still independent however I take care of his laundry, grocery, doctor's appointments and one of my sisters does his finances. Why didn't anyone prepare us for this? We need to teach and prepare our children for what is to come. Maybe that conversation sparks a financial one and start prepare if they haven't done so already. I would love to gather more nuggets!!! Thank you Judge Toler for your vulnerability.
Agreed 💯
Yes!!
In Africa it is obvious that you must look after you children
I absolutely ADORE Judge Lynn Toler. And you’re right, “she has healed the world”, with her originality. Hugs 🤗
Love listening to Judge Lynn Toler. I would listen to anything she speaks on ❤
I clicked so fast. I grew up watching Judge Toler and I remember how sadden I was when her husband died and the posts she was making right after his passing. I’m glad she now has the strength to talk and be on camera again 💕
Judge Lynn Toler is such a gem. I love the idea of memorial book💯💯💯❤❤❤. She gives of herself so transparent and real talk about her grief, life, and her husband. God bless you and your family.
The grace for mental health and Woman’s wisdom. That’s what I want Judge Lynn to talk about on her podcast.
I can relate to nearly everything that Judge Toler speaks on about her father. My father was born in the year 1918. Also he wasn’t as educated as her father but their personalities sounded as they mirror each other as a husband and a provider to the family. Their expectations for their children were many. Plus it also was a no-no for my mother to work out of the home.
These men came from a different world and were molded as a Man among men. My daddy wasn’t afraid to be a man when so many men were afraid to be themselves my daddy walked as if he was a giant among mankind’s. But he was never diagnosed as bipolar. BUT HE definitely was bipolar, He died in 1972 with cancer.
I lost my husband 9 years ago and it is truly a different kind of grief. I appreciate her.
Don't convey your frustration. Convey information...This is a gem! Listening to Judge Toler feels like family.
I could listen to her talk all day!
Judge Lynn can talk about just about anything and I would be happy to hear it. Especially the tips on communicating.
Thanks for sharing😊❤
She too is a genius! She was molded by geniuses. I'm thankful for God putting her life in the line of my path. She's a BEAUTIFUL Soul packed full of wisdom ❤
What a beautiful comment, I just love it, in a strange way, i feel the exact same way. As if I wrote your comments myself. Wow!! Thank you 🙏🏼💜
This woman raised me 😢❤ Everything I've learnt about myself and relationships has been from watching hours and hours of divorce court. Also reading her books. What a gift she is to us 🙏🏾❤❤
I couldn't have said it better myself 🫶🏾
I felt this comment!! She is not appreciated enough
Sis, she raised me too and still is. I can definitely say I'm the woman I am because of her when it comes to emotions, communication and relationships
You and me both..watched hours of divorce court. I hung on her every word. I quoted her all the time. One gem was about the significance of Valentines day or a big wedding. She broke it down so I could see it in a different way. ❤
Me too, me too!
BRUHHH!!!!.... I'm SO GLAD God allowed me to see this episode from your channel! It was so POWERFUL!!! Thank you for creating this opportunity to grow and elevate our spirits!❤
Love this interview! Yes Judge Toler, please start a podcast!
The judge can talk about anything, I love how she talks about her mother and she lifts her up.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Judge Toler!!! Continued prayers for her strength and endurance🙏
Judge Toler is undoubtedly one of my favorite people to listen to. She's a gem, brimming with valuable life lessons for many. Thank you for not being perfect, yet being perfect enough to share your life with us. ~Que
Judge Toler's advice is applicable to marriage, friendships, and all relationships. Ive been balancing all for decades and i strive and work to keep all of my relationships intact.
We need to give her flowers ALL THE TIME!!! Absolutely amazing, so much meat and life changing perspectives in her life story. Priceless..........
I gifted my three daughters "Dear Sonali" last year after reading it myself ... in my 40s. I would love and support a podcast that speaks to self and emotional mastery as women, single or married. Please, offer more of what Duchess provided. It is a wealth of wisdom and would be greatly appreciated.
My heart broke when hearing of Big E passing. The depth of their love and strength of commitment was obvious in her eyes whenever she spoke of him on DC.
Thanks for this one Laterras. Much love and respect to the Honorable Judge Lynn Toler. Blessings. ❤
Judge Toler Can Talk About Anything And I Would Listen!!
This interview was simply REMARKABLE! This should have millions of views by now!!!! Phenomenal job 👏
It’s the love that she and her husband shared with each other. She dropped so many gems for young couples. This life is too short to go through without having loved.
I lost my only son some months ago ,l still need healing and Judge Lynn has so much wisdom and knowledge to share on loving and losing your love one .May God just continues to bless you in your journey.
This was a captivating interview. Judge is a phenomenal woman. A product of parents who gave the very best of themselves for each other and their children. I pray for her, that she may heal. The love she shared with her husband is so palpable. It is what we all pray for. His love is woven into the fabric of her being, and no matter what, she will always carry him with her. She is a gift to the world and I thank God for her. Her wisdom, practicality, honesty and flair for storytelling are gifts that go on giving. God bless you Judge Lynn and Latteras for this incredible sharing, and for the many nuggets of wisdom.
What a Woman.. Wishing her Love an Strength 🙏🏾❤
I love listening to Judge Lynn. I’m 67 and I stop to listening to her speak about her life I love smart women and that is who she is. 🙏🏾♥️🙏🏾
I really slept on Judge Lynn. Her tough nature never appealed to me, but now I’m seeing this soft side of her and how relatable she is, I could sit for hours and watch her speak. She is full of so much wisdom and humor. I hope to be like her someday. Thank you for this interview L🙏🏾
I occasionally watched divorce court but wasn’t a fan of the drama although I did pick up on a few of her life lessons it wasn’t until social media that I able to tap into this energy source
I've always seen her tough nature as love. Sometimes you have to be stern for people to listen. I don't believe that she would be that way if she didn't care. All she wants is for others to see their own self worth and treat others the way you want to be treated. Judge Toler is definitely a real one❤
The way he controlled this interview and brought her back before she lost it is absolutely amazing and humbling and I honor a empathetic heart posture...
Talk about everything Judge Lynn!!! Please we need your wisdom!!!