REPRESENT YOURSELF AGAINST NARCISSIST IN COURT: ONE MOM'S BATTLE W/ TINA SWITHIN AND DR RAMANI
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- Опубліковано 23 кві 2020
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REPRESENT YOURSELF IN DIVORCE AND WIN//Do you want to know how to represent yourself in divorce court or in a custody case/battle and actually win? Tina Swithin, who founded One Mom’s Battle, did just that. Dr. Ramani @doctorramani, the foremost expert psychologist in narcissism also offers her wisdom in expertise on the mind of a narcissist during these court cases, sharing what causes narcissism and what makes narcissists tick. Tina’s blog caught the attention of Christie Brinkley when the press attention shed light on her well-known custody battle with a narcissist. This is Part 1 of a 2 part episode. This is truly an inspirational David-slew-Goliath story. If you are dealing with a narcissist in court and don’t have the money to hire a lawyer, find out the exact steps Tina took when she decided to go pro se (also called pro per) in her case.
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I beat my narcissist in court by simply letting him talk.
That’s how I got my restraining order and admission of several restraining order violations, but the system failed me because they didn’t follow through
I’m doing that on Monday. Exhausting getting ready. So many lies. I’m doing my best to write an Affidavit that is short and to the point
Welp here we go back to court on another ICC violation, let’s see what happens
😂🤣😂🤣😂🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🎼🎵😘😎🤗🤗🤗🤗congrats
I LUV MOMMA RAMANI XOXO FROM YOUR FAVORITE SEXY ASS DJ'S FROM VENUS HERE IN DA CHAT NOW SENDING YOU LOVE,MUSIC LIGHT,SEX MAGIC ETC. AND HEALING FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS,NARCISSISTS AND PREDATORS 2/13/2022
THANK YOU FOR THE EDUCATION & INSPIRATION..🐆🐾🐅🐾🐅🐾🐯🦁🐾🐱🐈🐾🐱🐾I LUV MOMMA RAMANI & HER KITTY TOO..🐈🐱
There needs to be more support for narcissistic abuse in the legal system.
I feel I've been re-traumatised by police, courts and lawyer while trying to get justice. Take care! Thank you for the video
that’s what the ex wife doing now to my husband ,who cheated and left him for other guy and now turning the kids down againts him,getting tons of money by using the kids which is teenagers now.
Telling my husband what to do all the time which she called co parenting,sending cops in our house ,claiming the other kids as her dependent in tax return she don’t have boundaries 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
it’s really a nightmare and stressful ,not cashing the child support to the bank seems that she is up to something in the court hearing that she filed 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️we need justice to stop her for doing to my husband to us over and over
praying to GOD to help
us to get this over and done. We deserved peace of mind
I had the same problem
Going though it now
Wow, so true!
16:20 most important part of this video: most therapists won't recognize it as narcs behavior and instead encourage the victim to try working it out or deal with her emotions, not recognizing it as narcissistic abuse. She is very lucky indeed
My therapist is with me, but the family court system here, in Denmark, still considers this just a high-conflict case. They want you to be nice to the abuser at all costs. That, in my case, for instance, gave the abuser more and more ammunition.
I love that Dr. Ramini shook her head immediately when the women said I met my knight in shining armor. Dr. Ramini is so smart. She already knew where this was going.
I wish she'd been brought into the conversation a bit more...
@@heathershaffer6148 once you start watching her UA-cam videos you will want to binge watch. I have a couple friends that have joined me.. we can’t get enough of her!
She's so dang patient too. Lol.
There is no knight in shinning armour but jerk who only cares for what he could get from you. Just put him to test, the true colour will show. You will know what type of character you are dealing with. So he went round telling others you left because he does not have much. What a big liar trying hard to cover up the truth.
She is so lucky she found a good therapist! I learned about it by accident on UA-cam! Prior to that I saw at least 5 therapist and none were able to pick out NPD.
There's a real need for these stories to be told, so people like me and Tina don't feel so along. The fear that nobody will believe you is excruciating.
@@RebeccaZungEsq 100% agreement w/ statement that there is a real need to create a dedicated conversation / share our nightmarish experiences... Mine for example, is a tremendous one... Sending healing energies to ALL!!! Rebecca most excellent work with SLAY, these videos & your live broadcasts Thank You Sincerely! ((and do reach out if ever looking to do a panel))
FB! Every single Domestic Abuse, Parental Alienation, Family Court Corruption, Mom groups. Dad groups. CPS groups... All of these have what you're mentioning...
3.5 years and $25,000.00 so far
yup. I hate talking about it anymore. Most people don't believe me. I can see it on their expressions. It's a lonely journey.
@@mariekiraly100 I'm in the same boat. I survive the lies by journalling the truth, talking to family or close friends who support the truth. The truth keeps you grounded even if most don't believe it.
She said “if you haven’t been physically abused, they don’t give it a lot of weight.” 🗣🗣🗣🗣 the justice system is the leak.
Agree 100%. Psychological abuse is often WORSE than the occasional slap or hair pull. Why? Because it is insidious, hard to prove, and CONTINUAL!
I have six documented incidents of abuse, photos of injuries, police reports. Abuser still has shared custody.
I went through both, physical and psychological abuse and I was told by my lawyer that since I have no proof, i shouldn't even bring it up. I wish I didn't listen. 😓
They don’t give a damn even when you’ve been physically abused. True, sad reality.
even with physical abuse, they deny it and lie their way out. they make sure they dont have witnesses to the abuse
I go to court on Monday. My ex of 11 years . Thankful for your videos. Dealing with lies manipulation and ego. My beautiful children are my number 1 priority. God bless and prepare my mind for the nightmare. this too shall pass
How did it go?
Did you get custody?
The huge fear of leaving a stranger, a judge, to make such important decisions is horrible. Then the narchole trying to manipulate your children is THE worst feelings.
Yeah, and she was CORRECT...tons of judges and lawyers are NARCISSIST THEMSELVES! They almost always have more sympathy for the poor, poor MAN who has to pay the bills instead of the women who are abused and tortured psychologically by these sick bastards.
The HIGH CONFLICT, WOULD NEVER BE IF FAMILY COURT JUDGES WERE SERIOUS & STOPPED BEING OVER PAID CLOWNS 🤡
Lol
I am so glad to hear Tina , My battle started in 2009 ... alone in the court , still standing.
From 2009 till 2020 ....?
From 2017 until now - pregnany included until 2014
Ooh so they prolong so long
My battle started now, it’s exhausting, to proof that he is narcissists....
This is not okay! Why? Prolonging this crap wastes years of quality time with our children, with life! This only perpetuates trauma, trauma, and more trauma!
I'm in tears, you've just re-told my story, I'm still in the battle after 13 years. Fighting to get back custody of my son, the court system is broken, CPS is broken, most lawyers have no clue...thousands of dollars wasted on attorneys that don't "get it". You can do it, you can survive, for anyone out there.....don't give up keep fighting for the truth, keep fighting for your kids!
Absolutely!!!
Sadly this is so true!
Same. 15+ years for me too. Two of my kids didn’t make it to 18. Their reality and the past has been rewritten since he gained custody and moved them to another state after 12 years of me having sole/primary custody. What they can undo and do in such a short time is unfathomable.
I'm where you are 💔
Is 15 years of your own life losing to the narcissist and being miserable worth it? Absolutely not.
Finding the right therapist = Divine intervention ❤️❤️❤️
That's the worst when someone tells you to just try to work it out with them, then you know they really truly don't get it.
I love this! The Lawyer , the Victim and the Psychologist! Thanks you three beautiful ladies for the light . You brave ladies! You are heroes!
Child Services does NOT recognize Narcissistic abuse, in any way whatsoever. Psychological, Emotional, and Spiritual Abuse, are absolutely disregard.
Agreed
I am so upset with myself that I didn't know about the 3 of you, 2 years ago. I did everything wrong- thinking that the courts would somehow do the right thing. But now realize that a narcissist creates a narrative to the court and literally plans out how to make you look bad to the court. I was so disapointed in the quality of the court system and didn't realize how a naracists actually plans out and enjoys using the cracks in the court system as a form of further abuse. Everything you all have said is exactly what I experienced.
Same here :( hugs
This is what happened to me.
@@parisjohnson4207 Sorry your narc got the upper hand. They are so devious!
It's been just over 90 days since I've seen or spoken to my little girl! 9 this month...
Systems failing? I'd love to share how my daughter & I were failed and then abandoned!
I'm endangered & exponentially approaching extinction at the evil hands of a Narcissist....
Appreciation to You ladies! 🙏💐
I interact with a multitude of families all across the US daily! Hundreds of thousands (no exaggeration) are being exploited in Family Court deterioration EVERY day!!
Shout those Wins loud & proud💐🤘💞. They are a rarity!
as I am listening it is like I am hearing my own story... CPS, Minor's Counsel, sheriff, and court continue to not protect my children who my ex has kidnapped and kept from me for more than 16 months. all of the systems are completely broken and refuse to actually do anything to help anyone. I am beyond frustrated and sad but keep trying. thank you for the inspiration to continue my battle. I will be looking up your blog for sure, Tina! I wish I would have found it many many months ago. You are truly an inspiration when I was just feeling lost and almost completely defeated. May you be blessed with continued love and support!
You guys are saving my life and my sanity. I'm subscribed to both channels and preparing myself for battle. I am feeling more empowered! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! Binge watching for the past 2 weeks now.
Did you file yet?
Same here!! I am already feeling a lot more confident. What will be will be. As long as he no longer has that horrendous hold over me I can get my life back. I may lose some fights along the way, but I will have won the war. I can't live like this, with his constant abuse and never knowing when it will explode in my face. I need this whole situation to be disarmed for good so he can never even phone me up again. These videos are very more-ish when you need answers fast.
Since I left my husband he has had me invested by CPS, FBI, and the Texas Rangers. At first they didnt listen to him but after he contacted them over 30+ times he was saying I was trafficking my kids online. My kids went through a forensic investigation. Only to see nothing was going on. And my battle is just beginning.
Our family court judge also handled criminal cases and would schedule family court cases to follow criminal so if/ when they ran long the family court cases would be rescheduled for 4-6 weeks later. So, you wouldn't know if you had a court appointment for sure until the morning of the appearance. Then you would find out it was postponed 4-6 weeks later. This went on month after month. I went deep in debt over attorney costs without ever going to court.
😡. So sorry! Family law is a joke!
OMG, talk about insult upon injury. What a crappy system, no consideration of average people's lives and the hoops to go through just to get their day in court.
Dr. Ramani's facial expressions during Tina's telling of her story is the most golden commentary I could ever wish for.
Yes
This sounds like what has been happening to my brother. I think we should understand that women can have narcissist personality disorder. It is like a split personality where she acts "normal" towards people and evil/cruel to victims.
Yes indeed
My sister is an alcoholic narcissist and possibly a sociopath as well
I have never experienced the physical abuse from her which I am aware is typical in the male narc abuser > female victim relationship
I can promise you however that 40+ years of interacting and communicating with her has been pure nonsense, insanity, and absolute hell nonetheless
Her modus operadi is pure denial deflection gaslighting blame shifting and playing the victim herself
Whenever I grey rock her like an uncaring robot the usual comments I get;
“Are you okay?”
“Is something wrong with you?”
“You don’t make any sense”
“That’s not something a normal person would do”
“I don’t remember doing anything that would deserve you doing that to me”
I do not answer any of her questions because that’s only her attempt to maintain control and instead IF I answer then I answer with another question
Usually she’s stupid enough to answer but it’s never truly a real answer > too vague and unrelated to my question anyways
Sometimes I just say “whatever” to anything she talks about no matter what it is
One time she said “that’s a very immature thing for an adult man to say”
I replied “ok sorry you think that”
lol 😂
She was furious but speechless which is a good thing because narcissists also chronically suffer from a condition I refer to as oral diarrhea
By the way I would welcome the opportunity to confront one of these male demon abusers who think torturing a woman is a good thing
They wouldn’t stand a chance
My daughter is a narc socio drug addict I have sole custody of my granddaughter and now she aligned with the person who at 1st gave me most of my evidence but i moved and changed my number now they're both after me. It's evil and they post about God all the time meanwhile they're Jezebel. My daughter does s×x for money and the other one's a stripper
This is as if someone was telling my very own story!! Wow! Such an inspiration. Thank You!!!
Same here! An exact replica of my life story! Best wishes to everyone! 🙌🏽
Outstanding interview for telling it like it is! Narcissism crosses all social strata and in the end your guest really hit the nail when she correctly observed that sadly a lot of judges (like many therapists) are narcs themselves and relate more with the abusers than the victims. Thank you and Dr. Ramani for your great insights, resources, and depth of understanding of NPD, and helping the survivor community!
Filed an EPO, as my own lawyer. I lost. So I took advice of the court, filed a juvenile motion of verbal and psychological abuse as my own lawyer, currently in this one. They think I’m some jealous ex, or can’t see it without bruises. I will continue going until our child is safe. I’m in a current case, no more details, but I see you 👀 and I feel this so deeply. I can’t afford a lawyer but I need my child to have a healthy space to grow. They do fail the kids, the situation is getting ridiculous.
I'm so glad God let me find this video. I'm going through this same thing. I need to get full custody of my son for his safety. Please help.
Same. I hope we both find help
Me too. Courts are not enforcing any orders, nor holding anyone in contempt for not paying support or filing financial docs, because their afraid of CoVid.
@@elizabethgaribaldi7702 Isn't that dereliction of duty??? But yet we citizens better do everything a court directs or be hauled into jail.
Hello, how did it go for you? God bless!
The worst is when a narcissist gets a man's only attorney...fuel to the fire, even if what they are saying is an out right lie.
Exactly. Anything to help them feel like they outnumber/overpower you. “Cornell & Cornell” 🤦🏾♀️
In 2008 the courts gave some legal custody to my ex. My children grew up without a mother. I was a good mom. My oldest was beat up and kicked out of their house when he was 16. I still battle with division of child support. I can't even get a driver's lic at this point. My kids are adults, my ex makes 100k year. I live in my car I can't even legally drive. It's not fair. Not to my boys or me
Can you reach out to a domestic violence organization? As for living in your car, please try to get financial assistance. You qualify.
I had a very similar situation. Except father kicked kids and I out on street due to domestic abuse I lived with 4 kids in a car for 5 months . He was so narcissistic he made every one believe I was the abuser so I got know help . I got custody in court by that time I had a home . He had visitation on weekends turned my kids to hate me as I was loving them no different if anything working harder to care for them . Now 2 of my sons live with him and now he has turned my youngest son against me . This whole time he has only paid support 3 out of 20 . Now he is taking me to court to get full custody. I feel so heart broken . And think all the times I protected my kids from his rage and abuse my kids would be so brainwashed yo their own hurt.
I am in the exact same situation in CA. With the courts, minor counsel, and CPS failing my kids. Even with substantiated abuse claims. Some of the rulings have been egregious. Today after court I fell like I am in the twilight zone.
Is beautiful to see that smart women are here to inform/ educate the word about this topic.
Enough is enough with the bullishT everybody should be aware of the “ narcissistic pattern “. I think should be introduced as a “ subject “ in high school. Will prevent many humans from suffering then the kids being use in their narcissistic game
Yes!! 🔥🔥🔥
I can relate to Ms. Swithin's story. I survived a very similar "co-parenting" experience with a malignant narassist whom valued money and status above all else - it was world war three for almost 9 years. At the time our family court case was one of the highest family court conflicts in Maricopa County (Arizona). The only others above it were his first case with the other ex and his son and my daughter's half brother.. and probably his own half brothers court case!!
You could see the full history online at the time, I'm pretty sure you still can. It's baffling how he had two high conflict family court cases and they could not see the common denominator of the harassment taking place. Another difference was that I never married the narassist. I was "lucky" (horrible choice of words) that I started seeing and paying attention to the red flags and sensed something was "not right" with him before I even knew of the term narassists existed. In fact, the week of learning I was pregnant I had already begun plotting my escape, with the help of my sister and brother in law. This was also when I learning he had intentionally gotten me pregnant. That served to solidified my understanding that I was dealing with a very devious and dangerous man. Even more over when he came out and asked me "are you pregnant?". That question floored me because I had not so much as indicated the possibility that I may be pregnant. I had left work early that day with a couple friends from work. We went to a drug store for a pregnancy test - he could not have even known I took it in the bathroom that afternoon unless he was following us. I had morning sickness for the first time that morning at work and had not even realized I skipped a day of my cycle. This was after less than 3 months of cohabitating with him. I vomited right after because I watched the two lines appear. I knew there was no true escape if he found out. I wish I had lied when he asked that question. But being an empath, not knowing the narassists patterns and not understanding what was about to take place. I was a very honest person, I could not lie to save my own life.
The biggest tell all for me was watching him continuously treat anyone in a lesser service position like lowly servants. Watching him deny his own son who was only 3 years old a piece of his own birthday cake, or anything sweet or deemed "unhealthy". I began seeing manipulation in his every day interactions. I started to see his facade slip quicker than any other woman he dealt (he has had several before and after me) It only took me 3 months of living with him and finding out I was pregnant to see that I was to him, an object. He would brag about his degree, his home in the "best planned community in the country" at the time in Athem Arizona. I even caught him bragging about his beautiful girlfriend that was about to have his baby. Vomit.. I got out right after I learned I was pregnant. My sister and brother in law staged a swift unannounced intervention. I was only 19 - barely beginning adulthood.
Oh yes I wholeheartedly agree that CPS is very broken. They substantiated child abuse with my ex narassist (only because he left a substantial amount of bruises on our 4 year old and then sat me down to tell me). I took my daughter directly to Phoenix Children's hospital and let the doctors call police and notify CPS. However, Arizona prosecutors office decided not to prosecute. After one year of an Order of Protection and zero time in jail he was back to having visitation. He had only been a part of our daughter's life for 6 months prior to the physical abuse. It's a long story as to why that was the case but it was obvious he had no desire to actually be a dad when he ghosted for the first three years only to have a "I found God moment" and make his return demanding he have rights in her life. I have dealt with every court professional known in the family court Therapeutic Interventionist, Parenting Co-ordenators, GAL'S, CPS, Social Services. $60,000 in attorney fees in the first couple years while I poured myself into studying family law. I also had to study appeals law to responded with my own rebutting brief in the Court of Appeals when he appealed the retroactive child support. I won the appeals case against his prominent Appeals Attorney, to my own shock and surprise. This gave me the confidence to continue pro-per aka pro-se in family court for the next 7 years. And wouldn't you know it he used the court as his weapon, even filing civil lawsuits on three occasions. Without fail every motion I made to the family court requested a psych evaluation. Every. Stinking. One. For 7 years. It took 7 years for our family court judge to order one. Once the judge did.. poof, the narassist was ready to sever his parental rights. After putting on the facade that he was just a loving dad wishing to be active in his daughter's life and I was in his way. (I could write a manuscript for lifetime movie network and most would not believe it was a true story). Arizona Juvenile court even broke the state laws to remove his parental rights. I was a single parent with no party that could legally adopt. By the time it hit the Juvenile court there was a paper trail of police and CPS involvement, along with a school principle and staff willing to fight the battle with me. My daughter is now has CPTSD and undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. Children suffer greatly, they are used as pawns in sick twisted revenge plots. My heart is with anyone dealing with this. You all have my deepest sympathy, empathy and prayers!! Stay strong - keep fighting and never give up on your children!! Where there is a mother's will (or father's) their is a way to defeat a narassist, it's never giving up!! They will wear you down to the point of exhaustion, yes but keep finding that will to fight and know you are not alone!!
Same feeling. World war three. You nailed it!
Wow. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I. Sorry that your daughter had to experience this. But I’m so happy that you are a fighter. Thank you for sharing this. . I am currently in the starting phase with my 3 month old. I’d love to connect with you. I have so many questions.
Thank you so much for publishing this content. I cried so much when I was watching it and hearing Tina's story. I thought my story was extraordinary but it sounds nearly the same to Tina's. Sometimes I feel so powerless and so alone, I just want to give up. I can't fight any more but can't give up either when I think of our 1 year old son and his safety. It hurts so much that so many women have to go through this... No one deserves this
The court system abuses the victims even more! PTSD that never stops!
For me.. it's too late. I've been fighting with these issues n told everyone no-one helped or believed me including my parents family n in-laws, till my daughter went to university n Son in O - levels .. after 23 years I filed divorce n spit on that Narc right in his face in the form of divorce papers. I didn't claim anything not even custody of my kids. They are not kids anymore. They know. After that It took 4 years to come out of trauma. Than I couldn't find myself I thought now I'll be happy but no.. I'm just living, probably alienated new life. Learned to smile again. In my country there is no law n rights for women n I hate it. I hate everyone I knew in my tough time. But I'm glad UA-cam is my new family. I feel normal again.
Thanks you both are also my mentor.
My regards
Do you have a relationship with your children?
I feel you. I’m sorry about your Narc experience. 💔
No one knows. But we do! Their illness empowers and disempowers us. We just try to keep it together. Trying to be who we were before we knew their species even existed. Prayers, love and light.
Failed the kids is right! CPS can be horrible! Some CPS reps are so corrupt and should be prosecuted and never allowed never childern.
It seems like judges are scared of these people
They get paid a lot of money, surely they should be more aware of these toxic people.
One of my therapist asked me why did I marry my husband. That was a red flag there. She was so confused to what I seen in this person. But what she didn't realize all the early love bombing. Another therapist said we need to get him in here to talk.. I've been to so many of them and they all say the same thing but no one ever mentioned he may be a narcissist. I figured it out on my own watching YT and trying to find healing and answers. I'm so grateful I did. Now, I know I'm not crazy.
No, Suzy, you are NOT crazy. Try to stay strong and don't give up finding the right help. Pray, if you believe. Every little bit helps, believe me.
@@RebeccaZungEsq Thank you for sharing all this information!
@@dawnday5105 Thank you for your encouraging words! I will continue to fight and pray! I will not give up now, I've come too far in the battle!
Guess what happens when you need a restraining order, but the narciccist is a lawyer who hires a lawyer. Double the cruelty. If I didn't have money for my own legal counsel, I'd have no hope at all.
Lucky...
Mine took it a step further; he’s representing himself and the court is allowing him to torture me on the stand. They have pd cam, refuse to make any accommodations and the prosecutor denied an article explaining how the courts can avoid this for dv victims. It’s like Wilmington Delaware is enjoying me crumble. I’ve never experienced such cruelty and lack for human well-being . I lose all of my assistance now. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Praying for you ❤
So much of her story sounds like mine... thank you for sharing. Omg yes its so frustrating trying to explain it to people. They just don't get it and the system completely fails you at every turn. As the victim you are silenced and in a way handcuffed from obtaining justice and safety for your children
Omg, this is scary. She sounds like me!! Thanks for the info. I had a lawyer tell me that being a jerk was not illegal and that teens over react and that my girls were probably exaggerating.
five years in a divorce process ... the narc will only be happy sitting on top of me with his junk pile ... while both my child and i watch our lives disappear .... i have faced every judge, mediator, clerk, everyone i see in our county courthouse i tell the same story over and over and over ... having my child tell the story now that he is sixteen ... doing my best. i have shared your divorce playlist with the courthouse. i choose to educate as i go ... as associate professor on hiatus homeschooling my child ... i fear not to tell the truth over and over and over. we have to educate the court and everyone involved in family law. for me family law is corrupt and i find corruption at every step.
@@bobbiwilliam6811 Not only was her comment not relating to trust or proof via cell phone... Sadly... have seen these EXACT same reply messages under MANY videos. Far too many. Pretty much cut-paste carbon-copies of each other, too. So, speaking of 'trust' .. How trustWORTHY is it to come in, to comment, to PRETEND; taking FULL advantage of people during their most vulnerable & worst possible moments.. ??? All, just to spam & sell some bs app?! smh. Whomever... should all be ashamed.
They would not let me even bring narcissism up - my lawyer would not watch the videos.. it’s so infuriating
The narcissist always turn the tables on you. You just have to work in silence especially as women don't show too much emotions. Be shrewd. They are very cunning you have to outsmart.
Omg... I am so validated... it made me cry in recognition of my own trauma and still trying to get through custody with a narcissist. Tina, you are brave and inspirational. Thank you.
I always knew something was wrong, 12 years of fighting & I am being railroaded, someone, hear me, someone, please help me, please. My son is 13 are there IS mental abuse to both him and myself! help me, someone, please
I’m so glad I came upon your video. I have been in court for over a year spent over $100 k attorney fees against a Narcissist and now I’m broke. You’re motivating me to represent myself.
Hi I'm here today. Afraid of the price tag of divorcing my narc husband. How are you? Where are you in your situation?
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND NO ONE ABSOLUTELY NO ONE REALLY GETS WHAT GOES ON WITH A NARCISSIST. IT SEEMS AS IF THE BLAME FALLS ON THE SPOUSE& CHILDREN. WHATS SO HARD TO ADMIT NARCISSIST EXIST ITS REAL. IF ONLY I COULD HAVE GOTTEN LUCKY TO HAVE SOMEONE TO SUPPORT ME & THE TRUTH...
Oh Rebecca! Thank-you for hearing me. Such gratitude. Bless you.
I’m currently divorcing a narcissist and he is financially abusing me. He was beating me and cheating on me during the marriage but he’s made it his mission to make me look like a monster. He’s broken into my home, took all three of the cars, and fought for 50/50 custody when he never wanted anything to do with our son when we were together.
I’m doing this now. I don’t have the time to save for an attorney I can’t let this go on. I’m dealing with a sociopathic narcissist I think though and it’s hell. He does nothing but what’s in his best interest 100% of the time and my LO is only 19 months. I’ll be watching all videos like this and thank god for them!!!!
I wish to God that i could tell my story like this woman has with professionals pulling the stories out. I just turned 70 and my Narcissist just died 2 weeks ago.
Looking forward to part 2.thanks Rebecca and Dr.Ramani for sharing.❤️
I need help getting my kids out of that toxic environment
They know how to hurt us- my children are the reason I am
Still alive after fighting cancer .
My children are ready to go to court and testified themselves
I'm a 43 year extreme domestic violence survivor and after 27 years I filed for a divorce and my ex military husband manipulated me into marriage counseling if I dropped the proceedings when he refused for 27 years to having using our teenage children to lie to the police and had me falsely arrested to never seeing the kids in 16 years.
Now 16 years later he brought me back to court saying I wanted nothing to do with the adult kids now and brought me back to court. Trial set for December 2021.
Advocate raising awareness for domestic violence, parental alienation and mental health worldwide.
Awesome to see Dr Ramani on the call. She is Awesome and so helpful with this topic and more!
I can relate so much to Tina and all that she is talking about. I hope we all come out stronger & victorious like her, in our battle’s. Thank you
OMG Tina! Your history of therapy is 100% the same as mine...I went through 7 years of therapy and my wife refused therapy claiming I was the one with the mental problems and not her. 😞
I'm about to go into a custody hearing a month from now against a narcissist and I've watched seemingly 100 videos on UA-cam regarding how to face a narcissist in court. I now, know why one lawyer on UA-cam suggests that you don't call the opposing parent a narcissist. The reason is, there seems to be a fine line between narcissist and normal. 💡
Tomorrow is our day in court during mediation I panicked I couldn't hold my frustration my anger my truth seems to be easily dismissed than his lies
This is a kind post as you are a lawyer and it is so appreciated.Thank you.
Know so many men and women that have been through, or are still going through this. The narcissistic person in these situations will try to appear to be protecting their husband or wife or kids while they are really just seeking to disrupt, to control, and even destroy.
Omg omg god save my tears…. It breaks me hearing that “ I hoped that he will actually have nice relationship with our daughter and we can still co parent after divorce!”
I am in that hope state, 1 month of seperation and he hardly sent me three word messages, like … missing kids… pls organise meetup… and I ended up dragging my kids for meetup as they don’t want to see their dad! Elder one ran back home and little one scolded me on way back after 5mins meet up in nearby park….. waiting everyday that he will show up on my door begging for kids! And I am still hoping and praying that the divorce process will melt him…. I need to hear this…
I'm in the same Case
This was so powerful! Thank you ladies so much for this enlightenment!
Amazing information. THANK YOU!!
Tina, I'm glad you never gave up and can share your story with us.
Rebecca is Spot on! Many a therapist is blind to a charming, manipulative narcissist! I went with my Narc husband & 3 women therapists were tricked by me charming, handsome Narc’s victim- poor me. They became more harm to me than help
Same thing with our "custody evaluator" whom the judge is using to determine custody.
Thank you so much for sharing this video. No one I've ever known has experienced this and resources are limited in such a situation. I've been divorced 7 years now and still battling my ex-husband. I pray all the people who need to hear this, come across this.
31:06 onward it literally gold!!! thank you so so much re Narc Judges!!!! i was gaslighting myself. READY TO WIN WIN WIN!!!
Great video. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
This is so good. Thank you for sharing your story.
When I finally decided that I had to see a therapist to maintain my own sanity while living with my narcissistic husband (soon to be ex-husband) the therapists did not put the label on it. She only coached me on how to live with him. She even told me not to speak since it was upsetting him. Crazy!
I learned about NPD from a friend and when I started researching it so much started to make sense!!
I was also fortunate also finding a therapist right away that recognized what he was. I actually manipulated him to come with me to see her to tell her what was "wrong with me". He showed his true colors right away. Later she told me there was absolutely no talk therapy or drugs that will cure him. She gave me the strength to leave. Thanks to Jeannette Murphy Kokomo Indiana.
I relate so much to this story, some of it is exactly my story. It took a therapist introducing me to the words "emotional abuse" to start my journey of educating myself and researching for years. Years later, and divorced, I'm navigating my children through the narcissistic abuse with their therapist. I'm getting ready to take him to court for primary custody.
Your right Rebecca lawyers that aren't experienced in this truly don't understand what your going thru
Consider that your therapist might themselve be narcissist if they are defending your narcissist. I've been in autism support groups I've had to leave because the mods forbid the mention of narcissistic abuse, saying it's ableist. Turns out the mods were narcs. Be careful.
I am so glad to have found your story Tina. I know I am not alone. Your story is so similar to mine I have been divorced for 10yrs and I he is taking me in to court yet again. I have had no help from judges, cps, abuse counselors. No one!!!! I feel alone and try my hardest to survive my life.
Thank you for sharing your story. I've been dealing with custody for three years without an attorney.
I'm also dealing with a narcissist.
But the reason for my comment
Is to say, one
I'm so sorry you had to live like this.
But second your story is exactly almost almost identical to my story.
Keep sharing your voice. You're helping other people realize they're not alone.
I’ve been looking for a lady like you master negotiator with a soul 😁
I 100000% understand what & how you felt. My girls & I lost everything & I am spending last $10 to get to mediation & hope the notary doesn’t cost more than 2.25cents. He destroyed us 10 yrs ago & ripped my shoulder out of socket- it still falls out every year even though I got him escorted out of my home that night forever. of course they wouldn’t take it into evidence. But he dug such a strange hole for himself that it confused all in court room.
I am happy to help & now that I know there’s videos up I finally feel calm & know we deserve peace, unconditional love as I had growing up & will rebuild the company that took me 18 yrs to build alone as legacy for my daughter. No thank you to any rage filled, criminal people. Thank you all ❤❤❤❤
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY DAUGHTER 53 YEARS OLD IS GOING THROUGH, UPPER MIDDLE CLASS....
HE HAS HAD HER THROW IN JAIL...SHE NO MONEY, NO LAWYER, HE FILED FOR DIVORCE AND HAD HER SERVED IN JAIL....SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL, EDUCATED, COLLEGE GRADUATED, TEXAS TECH, OWNED HER HOME, SUCCESSFUL CAREER WITH JOHNSON & JOHNSON PHARMACEUTICAL REP...
AFTER 13 YEARS SHE IS A SHELL....💔 LOST EVERY THING...LOOKS LIKE A WOMENS SHELTER FOR HER AFTER JAIL....NO ONE UNDERSTANDS...SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO EITHER HOME, HAS NO CAR, NO MONEY, HE HAS SMEARED HER NAME...WE LIVE IN 15,000 PEOPLE TOWN...EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE...SMEAR SMEAR...HORRIBLE THINGS, SCREWS EVERY GUY WALKS BY, LIE LIE,
DRUG ADDICTED,
ALCOHOLIC, ON AND ON...
HE HAS EVEN HAD HER PUT IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL...SH...AND VOMIT ON THE WALLS..
LEFT HER THERE, NO VISIT, DIDN'T TELL ANY FAMILY MEMBER, LEFT HER THANKSGIVING, CHRISTMAS BY HERSELF, EVERYONE HAD VISITS THAT DAY BUT NOT HER...
IM HER MOTHER, MY HUSBAND, HER DAD HAS PASSED AWAY...WE ARE ON OUR OWN...PLEASE PRAY GODS MERCY AND GRACE....HE WANTS HER TO KILL HERSELF....PLEASE PRAY...EVERY PLACE WE TURN, DOOR SLAMMED IN FACE....PROMISE YOU THIS IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE REALLY BAD SITUATION....
Laura, I am sorry for all you are going through and omg for your daughter. I am not sure of your beliefs but everything you have said has touched my heart.I am on this page because I myself have been married to a narcissist for about 30 years,3 kids are now 18 and over. I am headed into divorce court on the 23rd.
But something you said absolutely rang true for me.He (the narc) has absolutely wanted nothing more then for me to end my life.I believe these people to be demons on earth which means our battle is not with courts and hospitals, it is with aligning ourselves with God because I believe, he is in charge of everything and everyone.Prayers for you and daughter and family.
Yes yes yes keep the knowledge coming
Dr Ramini is so on point, I think if people looked at these patterns and called them traits it would probably probably give more weight in the courts, we use the term for people that are in the spectrum. NPD shouldn't really be treated any differently.
Just what i need..thank you
Many years ago, I went to multiple therapists, specifically within the church. Everyone pretty much said to "pray about it" & " let your light be his light"..... Basically saying, "You're stuck, find a way to work it out & and remember to smile. And don't forget, if things go south, it's your fault because you didn't pray hard enough or shine bright enough". It's really quite sad.
As an attorney, most of these case managers, voluntary guardian ad litems and CPI/CPS,visitation specialists who don’t have kids of their own are useless.
Greetings from sunny SW Florida. Thank you ladies. Blessings to all
What the Heck! Your blog name is wrong! I got blind sided by a FEMALE! Went from being a rocket scientist living in my childhood home to living in my truck trying to hold down a job, pay an attorney and just get back what’s mine. The TRO was the most inciduous collection of slander I have ever seen. I had never heard the word narcissist before and OMG how accurate. I grew up conservative and hate shopping while she loves Macy’s etc. I still don’t know what the damage will be. It’s a nightmare. You ask How is this even possible?
Wow, I can relate to so many elements of her story. I felt/feel the same way about being in a warped reality. It seemed so different to me than other people's custody cases. It seemed different to others as well and because it was so crazy, people began questioning me and were almost accusatory as to what I was doing wrong to make things so crazy. Then I got a narcissistic Judge on top of it, and I cannot get any attorney to go to just one hearing in that jurisdiction for less than 10,000.00. That is for one hearing, with me doing all the work. I have been dealing with this for 10 years and he won, but is now being deployed in the military. So, I am going back to court to ensure I get custody of her instead of her step mother. And my daughter is 16 now. Has a job and a car. He told her I filed for custody and she basically cussed me out via text two weeks ago for making her have to deal with this and making her life hell because there would be constant fighting. She said her dad is going to take her car if I win and told me I was "using her dad's absence to manipulate the situation to my advantage", even though I specifically put in my Motion that waived child support and would agree (without the stepmother even asking) to let Saylor go there one weekend a month while he was gone. I also agreed up front that I understood this was not going to be a permanent order and that he was protected by law against a permanent order being issued. My daughter was terrible to me and has not spoken to me in over 2 weeks. It hurts but I am not giving up. He has completely alienated her from me. I have done everything I can to fight but eventually I had top accept the fact that the legal system is not a justice system. I have made daily efforts to stay in her life and stay close. I had no one to help me 10 years ago and I had no idea what I was up against. I was always naieve and always willing to be the nice guy and played ethically and went out of my way to make sure I did not involve her , or even inconvenience her. They used my love for her against me and looking back, it worked brilliantly. THAT IS NOT GOING TO WORK THIS TIME. HE lied and told her that I was forcing her to testify and I told her that I would never involve her or put her in that position and that if she was told that, it not not true, I told her her testimony is not necessary and that it was between her dad and I. She said well you always told me I have a voice and I should use it, so I am am going to testify. My poor baby is completely brainwashed and while I do defend myself, I do not further stir the pot and try to point the finger at him. Even though he deserves that. Alot of people cannot understand that. But to me, it is her well being that matters. She already thinks a certain way about one of her parents. I do not want to further injure her by bad mouthing her dad. I had hoped that she would see that one day and respect me for it. But it is so hard for me in the meantime. Regardless, I will accept pain before I knowingly cause her more pain.
All of this is worthless if the judge preciding over the case is a Narc.
Wow completely resonated with me, and at the same age! Thank you, mine is a divorce atty and its taking me almost 6 years to go back to court and will represent myself. Im scared as hell, and will prob look like a dear in the headlights. Im not going to give up though. Your an inspiration, thank you all 3 of you!
Sheriff Dept don't do report after - my children call 911thar they're being physically abused by father
The system makes me sick
THANK YOU. I am going through what you went through right now. It is scary.
One of the best info vids I've seen yet! I represent myself on Monday, I'll just pretend it's excitement instead of fear, like when I would date, har har:/ oh the twisted humor that forms.
How did it go?
Men therapists often see thru a narc man where a woman therapist is vulnerable to the Narcs charms
Although you are talking about a mother's perspective of dealing and divorcing a narcassist, I hope everyone remembers that some dad's are divorcing their own narc. Listening to this conversation between the three of you, you described what my son is going through with three children. After EIGHT years he is still battling...his lawyer wanted to 'read' and pander to a brand new judge but nothing worked...and after $20K and a failed evaluation because the judge did not order the CFI agent to investigate my son, only the mother...and the mother got hours of time with CFI and only ten minutes spent with my son and grandson...the judge refused to look at two prior PREs and a psycologists' determination that the mother should never be allowed around her own children, let alone others because of her deep seated narcassism. The judge said, in court, why wouldn't she listen to the CFI agents recommendation when that person was an expert...ignoring people with Ph.D's, CPS reports from the schools, etc. That is why some parents who are on the other end of a narc. relationship say the courts don't care. His ex won't even sign a child support agreement now (six months down the road) that she agreed on. She has now changed lawyers (she's had six in the eight years after the divorce). His fault was only that he wanted to get his youngest child (age 10) out of that situation because mom had already turned the kids against him and the CFI person did not use evaluative skills to determine that two adult children had already been overly influenced by the narc personality. The youngest child now refuses to go with his dad because his mother told him that he would be kidnapped and if he struggled not to go with his dad, dad would shoot him in the face. The last time we saw son/grandson, he was happy and carefree and kind of getting excited about living with his dad. Even the kids' GAL sided with mom. Funny how a therapist told mom that she was cured of all her behavioral issues after three non-consecutive visits. Love bombing/bombing others...she's good!
Rebecca and Doctor Ramani i connected the dot, i just congratulated myself that i understood
Women are narcissistis as well and I believe more difficult to work with then men, especially when your dealing with the court system and a child...
OMG! My husband is also requesting a male PHD therapist to go to couple's counseling. But I know he's not really serious about doing it
it is amazing how similar my grandkids dad is. every thing is unfounded because he is a pathological liar. calling cps just builds his false victim case