John Mulaney: “My Body Is Bad at Sports”
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- John Mulaney admits he’s always struggled with math and explains what it’s like to be a benchwarmer.
Original airdate: April 3, 2009
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I vote that he runs straight past her. Imagine the utter confusion.
He couldn't, they were at the end of the hallway... i mean i don't know where they were supposed to be going if tge hallway just ended.
But he said it was the end of hall so...
Draconicus the Reaper in the subway once you get to a certain point the hallway ends. Then there are trains that you get on
@@Draconicus702 if they reached a dead end, he should have continued on and sat in the corner, tell her to run, and start charging the wall
or just tap the wall and run the other way just as fast
I mean the hallways don’t just go on and end for no reason. So I think the other train track was next to the end of the hallway
John Mulaney wearing a button up shirt is the equivalent of any other comedian wearing a dirty tank top and sweatpants
Sooo Pete Davidson
I AGREE AGGSGSGSGSGA WHERE AEE THE S U I T S JOHN
The jeans really fucked me up lol
He’s basically naked
Amanda B saaaaame
I love how he's enough of a legend to have his pieces published 11 years after they were filmed
“Legend” ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
DoctorDoom he’s definitely getting there. He has a very distinct style of comedy, and he’s generally well respected by other comedians and viewers.
Also they're running out of good ideas. Shame it took 'em this long to post this.
And yet he doesn’t even look younger
and 11 years later they’re still relevant !
This guy has looked 21 all his life.
thebeatnumber - 21 is pushing it 😂
@@cryspbacon yah fr, wbk he hasn't aged a day past 14
I mean I’m jealous bc I’m bald at 20 🤷🏻♂️
Asian women age gracefully
He looks like... 7 here lmao I love it
Can’t tell if the Trump joke aged horribly or very well
It aged well, it's just incomplete now. Just make the hobo part go on longer:
"And then, I will become president! And I'll tell all those damn Muslims to go home! And if anyone ever tells me no, I'll fire them too! And I'll have my own news organization that recognizes me as the genius that I am!"
TOProductions - it needs to be revisited
IstasPumaNevada “then i’ll commit a few crimes and get away with it!”
Jaclyn B “a few” is an understatement
it aged well
So proud that the Asian American women are finally getting recognized in comedy
I'm screaming
Big day for Asian American women and tall children.
don’t forget lgbt also!! i love the representation
Meme Master I don’t think it is a woooosh, I’m pretty sure everyone got the joke.
it's not that they don't recognize them it's just that many of them aren't at that level of funny. Comedy is probably the most honest business because no one will cheer for someone who isn't good and even if they are famous they can still get booed off stage for having a bad stand up session. comedy has no boarders or colors your either funny or your not.
“I’m still afraid of being kidnapped.” But if he was, he could have used his STREET SMARTS!
Oh, but nothing bad ever happens to men.
Is because he forgets the paperclip and money
Dick Van Dyke bad things happen to men rather often. the thing is, statistically, the perpetrator is also usually a man.
Dick Van Dyke oh your one of those people
Dante Rodriguez money clip*
Wait it did not include the “my body is bad at sports” joke... i was waiting for it. :))
Clickbait
Same
Because this is rehashed content that was already uploaded years ago and they had to come up with a new title to entice John's fans to watch it, thinking it's new content they haven't seen.
It was the name of the show.
@@portlandgoose4727 No but "My body is bad at sports" is an actual joke he made in The Top Part (special). All of these jokes were part of that, too, so they're all in the same era.
Ok but I’ve heard people who study trump like, seriously and psychologically, literally refer to him as a poor mans idea of a rich man. Kind of impressive that John Mulaney came to that conclusion as a comedian in 2008
Mulaney himself comes from money. Not a judgment, just something it seems is in his background. He probably knows how rich people act, and saw Trump for what he is: A guy who made "rich" his brand, versus behaving like an actual rich person does.
in the 2008
Lavendelchen I have no idea what you’re talking about 🤫
@@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 😂
Impressive that he took an old money attitude and spun a joke from it? I'm glad psychologist know that if a poor person ever got money they'd be Trump.
This tall boy with feminine hips is hella hilarious
The tall child needs rest though
He needs to get a bigger shirt though, he's wearing a pretty *little* one.
You mean the asian american woman
Prativa Dass!! He sensitive about that!
THATS THE THING HES SENSITIVE ABOUT!
The woman: 😱
John Mulaney: she hear the choo choo
Chu chu
@@demonatic7258 I’m a train
Cho Cho Charles is coming
So she be running
Definitely the funniest Asian American female comedian right now.
Ali Wong is quaking
@@averyjeanne nope
@@arb1897 well she is the most popular asian american female comedian
@@Emma-ux9jt well that's true.....but all she does, is Feminists stuffs, her stand up.and all. I have yet to try her shows, don't know if it's worth it
Hope... just one of the funniest comedians whose partner is an Asian American female.
"Oh, I am an adult now"
Felt that 😂
Me too buddy
I love how John's description of Trump back then is still so fitting today. Just as his more recent one is when he describes Trump as a horse loose in a hospital. :)
Weird to see him in anything other than a suit.
This tall child is dressed too casually for my comfort
at no point in the video did he talk about sports lol
Had the same thought. Guess they misfired
he has a part of one of his sets called my body is bad at sports i believe. i forget which set.
This is probably the bit they meant: ua-cam.com/video/D-VFNSehqj4/v-deo.html
The Trump joke is all too surreal in 2020...
Nah, it isn't surreal, it's too real. It was then and it is now.
The surreal and the real have collapsed in on each other 🤦♂️
Jesse H. That’s a good way to put it
“and I’ll become the president of the United States!”
He was 27 years old here! He looks like a teenager :D
27??? he looks 19
He looks like the least funny comedian in North America. This is abysmal.
@@wildmercuryfilms Tell that to Olivia Munn LOL
But at the same time, he's 6 feet tall lmao
"Women see me as a threat" who runs from a comedian
Ask Bill Cosby
Touching The Rainbow 😂 stop
@@TheSimplyCooking oh please! Nobody ran from Bill! They were too inebriated to run, silly!
Even though it's old af, John Mulaney is the only comedian in 2020 that can structure a joke to make a crowd cheer against drag queens imo 😂
I do feel like he somewhat misunderstood the purpose of drag, but he managed to joke about them without being homophobic which is impressive for a straight white comedian in 2008.
@@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 You should see Mulaney's Sack Lunch Brunch. In it, there's a kid narrating a fictional kid's book called "Sacha's dad does drag" and it's the most hilarious bit I've ever seen. What made it funny was how fluent the kid was in insider-y Drag ball culture knowledge. Since then, it appears Mulaney studied the topic of drag a bit further. :-P
E V I actually watched that show, I thought it was really good. And yeah it does seem like he knows more about drag culture now.
E V I haven’t seen that yet, but I kinda figured that that’s a topic that today’s mid-30s woke version of John wouldn’t touch anymore
@@weirdskyreallyweird.5519 petition to call all cis hets "straights"
I love that they bleeped out 'hole' and not 'a$$'
Pretty sure ass is just another word for a donkey but idk im just a dumb internet boi
"ass" is fine because of butts and donkeys.
"Hole" is fine because of pits and crevices.
"As*hole* on the other hand describes a person or sexual orifice and is considered an inappropriate expletive according to prudish 1927 abs 1980 broadcast law.
its weird to me that he had already lived in NYC for a few years at this point because in my mind he’s like 20
Every single one of these jokes is on point and 100% still relevant today.
John: Why are drag queens mean to me?
Because reading is WHAT???
FUNDAMENTAL
Gabrielle Mann and it’s not little! It’s a medium! Small is little!
I feel like this was a prediction of the future with the Trump and the stock market crash it’s kind of creepy
it's kinda just pattern recognition, stock market always goes wack for whatever reason, not like he mentioned anything about getting sick...
@@yaboirico5221 everyone always wants to be the one to discover a conspiracy
How in the world was that a prediction?! He was just talking about what was going on at the time. Trump was famous before he was a president and the stockmarket was going down at the time of this bit.
The stock market was collapsing when this was filmed.
@@supgirl6786 Especially since Trump has not only been famous since the 80s, but he has specifically been known to be the very same version of gaudy that he is today.
"What is your notion of a woman based on?". Fair question.
I think this is one of the main critiques of trans women by radfems.
@@elguacamolesf4414 Based
THIS IS THE HEIGHT OF COMEDY!
*reads this in home alone cheese pizza limo voice*
Ann Knetter IT’S A GRID SYSTEM
why when he said he was at a subway at 2am did i think he meant the resturaunt💀
Me too!
Ohhhhhhhhh...I was confused where subways are open so late and I though oh well that’s NY for ya 🤷♀️
Justice for Juicy!
Wait, wrong comedian.
His hands look really slender and graceful, idk why I noticed this but lmao I suddenly can't stop seeing it
Aimun Afaq, God forbid you notice how big his "package" is in the tight suit pants!!😂😂🤣
I can tell how old he is in this more by the video quality than him looking different
0:18
John Mulaney is the only straight white cis man that I trust
nice SJW words but we just call that "normal"
@@007kingifrit oh I guess I'm not normal
007kingifrit maybe _your_ normal
@@007kingifrit oh. yikes.
He's an Asian American woman actually, common mistake.
"What a hobo imagines a rich man to be".... those were the days
John Mulaney looks like a cousin of Grant Gustin. At least from when this was recorded.
Weird how his insight about a horse back then turned into a horse loose in hospital, and look where we are now.
Clickbait but i am leaving satisfied
This man was making making trump jokes in 2009! What an icon
Well it makes sense, Trump has been infamous (yes, infamous, not even famous) since the 1980s, to the point where Biff Tannen in Back to the Future 2 was directly based on Trump.
It’s weird to not see him in a suit...
It’s so strange listening to jokes about trump from when he was just a corrupt rich dude. Like now he’s a powerful corrupt rich dude, and I think he’s still getting advise from hobos.
Housewife in a far side cartoon is the best description of drag queen fashion I have ever heard
"I study them. They're fascinating." 😂
Mulaney is one of those comedians that I love so much that the only thing I can think is how underrated I will always consider him to be. Yes, he has a huge following, but THAT IS NOT ENOUGH!
I have a friend who is a drag queen and he totally looks like a Far Side housewife. He's a great guy!
It’s weird to see him in jeans like when he’s not in a suit he looks like a teenager, when he’s in a suit he looks like he hosts a game show from the 1960’s
The drag queen joke is spot on. It’s always baffled me.
I feel so bad for that poor woman, but I couldn't stop laughing
Oh. My. God. This is legitimately the most hilarious comedy clip I've seen. I literally laughed nonstop at every single joke from beginning to end. This has never happened to me like this before. wow. John Mulaney.... wow.
That is still an accurate portrayal of trump 😂
Dude... What if you time traveled to 2009 John, and was like "yeah, that hobo rich man was our president.. laugh it up now, it won't be funny in 7 years"
Dunking on trump before trump was even president. He truly is the alpha male.
i still wanna know what the dow jones falling by 200 points means
Did they censor the "hole" in "asshole" and not "ass"?
I cannot see him without a suit on, it just activates my fight or flight response
the fact that somebody got chased by John Mulaney at 2 in the morning is a hilarious thought on its own
Its kinda weird seeing him wearing casual clothes than a suit.
ACTUALLY something similar happened to me. But I was 14. An adult woman saw a kid as a threat
He is pretty edgy and fearless for a guy that comes off so harmless. His delivery is genius
Word of advice to men in this situation: When approaching a single woman in the dark, always announce yourself, "Hi! I'm coming up behind you, just happen to be going the same direction." And give them a wide berth, keep your hands visible. We appreciate it.
he manages to cover sensitive topics in a hilarious way that offends nobody
He had no idea what was coming when he made the trump joke
No one did. Everyone already thought they saw the bulk of his insanity.
When he mentioned The Far Side by Gary Larson, he gained a fan for life. My Dad’s “The Far Side collection” books was a treasure trove of twisted, macabre, intelligent humor that I related to. I was the kid that thought farts just weren’t amusing. It was almost a satire about normal things and pop culture references, or to some it up; the basic musings of life and the “what if’s” and “you know what would be funny... yeah. Let’s see how many get the joke”.
My bad for the lengthy comment. I just wish we had more stuff like The Far Side Gallery. I’ll take a joke about dinosaurs actually going extinct due to smoking cigarettes, over doodoo kaka jokes.
Every. Single. Time.
I would've run past her so it looks like I was running towards something else, personally
This a wild to watch now that trump is sooooo much more than just “a rich guy”
Imagine just looking at the security cameras and seeing a man chasing a woman at 2am and suddenly the man runs past her to the non-existent train. Everybody's confused. Not just saying that they're confused that a man ran past a possible victim.
But also, the fact that the man will probably be so confused when the train isn't there.
Fire the person that titles your videos, this was sportsless with zero exception
Watching this in 2020 when the man who based his life plan off a hobo is the president of country. Just...🤣🤣
I can't imagine how horrifying this must habe been for her
Am i the only one who thinks John mulaney would be a great Peter parket
I think he'd be a FANTASTIC John Mulaney.
it's so weird to hear him talk about Trump now that he's the president (hopefully he wont be in a matter of days, go vote blue, people!)
edit: trump is fired 😁💙
I have good news
@@seamusbenn2967 yesssss 💙
Looks like he ran into Bianca Del Rio.
When I heard rude and beehive I immediately thought of Bianca
This is like Barney Stinson before he suited up
“John Mulaney Bull?”
The horse in the hospital bit lives in my head rent free
So this was a hilarious bit and all, but anyone else notice how the title and description had nothing to do with the jokes he told? Not once was sports, math, or benchwarming mentioned throughout this..
When my number comes up, I'm gonna let a horse loose in a hospital.
Wow, so many jokes about being bad at sports; it's hard to know where to begin.
“There was a class advertisement though, where you could learn to open doors from the horse. The horse in the hospital will teach you how to open hospital doors, and he would know, wouldn’t he? The horse would know, he got into the hospital by opening doors.”
I think it's funny how he will go on to make his "horse in the hospital" joke
Okay but for real that Trump impression he did at the end was spot on lol 😂😂
I thought I was gonna get a joke I haven’t heard by the looks of the title but I just got clickbaited
Someone described graduating from Trump University (or whatever it was called) like going to a joce restaurant, having a nice meal and the waiter asks 'is everything good' and you're like 'it's great' and then you get home and find out you have food poisoning
I know many tall Asian American women with feminine hips, but this one is my favorite
Without a shred of irony he went straight from "drag queens could've just stayed men if they were gonna be mean about it" to "It's hard to know what to do with your money these days."
He butchered the whole idea of smooth change of subject at 2:55 😂
He can now add to that joke about Trump: .....and I’d be SO rich and powerful, I’ll become..the..*GASP* THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!! HAHAAA!!
I live in Atlanta-no subway here-and wondered why there was a Subway restaurant at the train station and why it was open at 2 am.
This clip didn't mention sports
So are we going to talk about how the title and description of this video is a lie? Because there were three skits in this video and not one of them brought up basketball or math.
I like this Asian chick. Some say hes a tall boy
he should've kept running until he beat her to the station, turned to her, and said "i won the race."
is no one going to mention how this video contains no reference to his body being bad at sports or his struggles with math (as the description reads)?
trump bit has aged well lmao
I don't think I've missed one video of this young genius. Quite funny and easy on the eyes. just love him in all sorts of ways.
It's weird not to see this guy in a suit
4:26 you bleeped the wrong part…
"Oooh, nooo, I'm not a man, I'm an asian american woman"
God bless! Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior and died on a cross for our sins so we may live again in Heaven where there is no pain or suffering! God is our Father and Creator and raised His Son Jesus from the dead! Confess and repent of your sins and God will freely forgive you! Trust in God and live for Jesus as He died for you! 💕
he kinda sounds like danny gonzalez
I love you John Mulaney.
Why is The Top Part not on Netflix?!?