If a narcissist discards you, believe me, it’s the BEST GIFT THEY CAN GIVE YOU….LEAVING YOU ALONE. You will heal and you will be at peace over time. They are not your be all end all like they think!!!
They trust on the traumabond, but that traumabond is not endless. Someday you wake up and you realize that you are free, and you put yourself on place 1, 2 and 3.
Usually. A malignant narcissist can/will harass and torment you for years. They are delusional and will become vindictive if you end the relationship before they have their next victim lined up.
Navigating the intricacies of a conversation with a narcissist is akin to walking through a verbal labyrinth where every word is a potential trap and every sentence conceals hidden meanings.
A Narcissist will try to control a conversation by changing the “language” so you will have a difficult time articulating what you are trying to say. My ex fiancé would do that to me.
They alway’s hoover. They are all the same. The exact same blueprint. Even 1-2-5-10-15 years down the road. Be prepared. Stick to « no contact», and you will make it
@@Ikaros23 I made the mistake of reconnecting with my ex narc 15yrs after our brief first relationship. He said he had changed & grown throughout the years. I had no education on narcissism. Sadly, I spent the next 4 years being slowly destroyed. I finally went no contact after educating myself. There's no going back a third time. You're completely correct. Hoovering can happen at any time.
Pretty much the same thing happened to me. After I stopped playing the games and started seeing another woman, she felt betrayed and called me all kinds of things. After a while she felt bad, but never apologized, but confessed that she fel like we were just having a fight, but never considered ourselves as broken up.
Wow you really have this spot on. I never researched what kind of people narcissists were until my ex girlfriend portrayed the exact things you're describing in here. It's unbelievable. I wish I'd known what characteristics narcissists had a long time ago. I might have saved myself alot of pain.
Same here. They are ultimate destroyers. I dated a covert narcissist. Also since you just figured this out, a lot don’t know this. Not everyone with NPD has ASPD, but everyone that has ASPD has NPD. They are also known as narcopaths. I know this becuz I dated a covert narcissist sociopath. Covert also known as very hidden, like closet narcissism. Also sociopaths their synonym is con artists. Take care of yourself and never LOOK BACK👈🏻
Me too I was 7 years with my ex covert narcissistic girlfriend from 53 to im 60 now. I had absolutely no idea what a covert narcissist was but I was more and more broken every year to the point where I couldn't do it anymore but I was confused and couldn't understand what was going wrong. It wasn't till I found this wonderful community on UA-cam that described her behaviors and narcissistic traits so perfectly and it was like a key in a lock and opened the lock for me to understand what had gone wrong for seven years of my life. I'd say life can be funny but there's nothing funny about being with a narcissist especially a covert one. I'm still having trouble healing and getting over it all and I have met quite a few women who like me and want my number but I'm useless to them at the moment I had no idea a narcissist could be so damaging and I didn't even really know why or how it was happening but none of it made sense . Anyway, great comment you made and all the best to you healing and rebuilding and I hope you meet someone lovely and honest.
@@OlBlueshound just focus on yourself and be the best version of yourself. That’s what they spite the most. Stay single until your healing is done. Someone told me something at work a few weeks ago that I had never ever heard of. You don’t really know a person until they get mad. Coverts hide everything, that’s why they are called coverts they are also known to be closet narcissists. My situation is so long it’s pointless to talk about. But they can rage out of nowhere. He got jumped while we were waiting on an Uber and as he was being punched in the head I tried to grab him and he slammed me into the ground 13 times and accidentally almost killed me. Did he mean to do that to me, no but did he care who he did it to, no. That’s all secretly unsaid. But it’s all about their lose of their actions. So never ever fall in love with someone with a victim mentality and or depression. Depression is a smoke screen for them. And do not devolve that much about yourself when you first met them. Live, laugh, love. Just never allow someone like that to ever come in your life again now that you know this even exists. They are wolves in sheep’s clothings.👈🏻
I've noticed a couple people from my past did a discard on me and then were shocked I said okay, and walked away. It's like they wanted me to chase them.
Joe i just LOVE your podcast. Narc abuse has led me closer to God, but when its family its soooo hard, as i took much abuse to go along to get along. Boy as soon as i go sober BAM, now im suddenly mentally ill and causing family drama. Ok. Almost 4 years sober, i stand alone, and that is ok! God is with me always. Thanks Joe!!
@@directionfinderformen Are you sober now? Try to look at it this way. WOW, THIS WAS THE GREATEST LESSON OF MY KIFE AND IT WILL NEVER EVER EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Now let's go live our best light. Sir, we stand with you in healing. You, me, and Joe. And sadly many others.
@cynthiafortier2540 absolutely. I only fell off the wagon for a couple of months 6.5 yrs sober. Now almost to the 2 yr point again and loving it. I also have a published book along with my YT channel. God bless 🙌 🙏
Narc ex decided he wasn’t happy and called it quits-I told him okay, moved out and went on with my life-it was his decision to “discard” me and my decision to never engage again. We weren’t social media friends, my family didn’t like him nor engaged with him-I’ve moved on and there’s no contact-my friend is dealing with a narcissistic brother and we watch your videos together as she wants to learn about narcissism. Thanks Joe.❤
Thanks Joe for this video. It all makes sense, they sit in their power and control persona whilst they're out harvesting new supply whilst the main supply is supposed to stay around and be loyal. The main supply usually knows what's going on But its still a shock when your devalued, ghosted, then discarded, as it usually comes out of nowhere.
They’re definitely not. They’re really not ready if you dump them first. Once you’ve done it, theres a very high level of satisfaction in knowing you blew a narcissist’s mind. 😊
It’s been almost 3 months since the discard and it did hurt in the beginning but I was moving on. Until last week of December I was doing great but then I had a dream about him and now I see some random Instagram requests being sent my way. I’m not entertaining, not responding but in my head, I am thinking about the past memories. I feel energetically they try to hold onto you. So even if there is no physical contact, energetically a lot goes on. I know I will never go back however I need to remove him from my life in every sense.
My ex fiancé ended our 5 year relationship after I wouldn’t move to Florida to be with him. Honestly, I feel he was trying to move me away from my family. I feel he was trying to isolate me from my family. My response to him breaking up with me was “I feel it’s better that we part ways. Take care.” In a way, I was glad that he ended our relationship because it was five years of hell. I feel so much happier and freer since we parted ways. He was emotionally abusive. Five years of that was enough for me.
I was discarded when she was 4 months pregnant. I was totally caught off guard. I begged to be in my childs life. All i got was called crazy, tried to get me fired, tried to get me arrested. Over a year now, no contact. Never met my child, and im moving on. Always thought she'd come back. Never happened
You don't need her permission to spend time with your child. Petition the court for a DNA test and then visitation. Otherwise, the child will grow up to think you abandoned them. 😢good luck.
Your child didn't do anything wrong. They shouldn't suffer as a result of this. You were exposed to the narcissist to develop narcissist antibodies to pass down to your child, to help them suffer less than you had to.
Being that we're not narcissists we don't even think of this power thing, hence all the hoovering from them just to "regain power" is confusing, but yup, that's what they're up to for sure.😂
The pos ran off 10 yrs ago and remarried, I haven't once tried to reach out to him, he got his divorce and I got on with my life, he still keeps in touch with my daughters my son wants nothing to do with him, I have heard he has divorced again, so on it goes.
This is spot on. As I reflect on my situation(I didn’t know anything about narcissism back then) my ex was trying to discard me. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t escape feeling like he was the one that got dumped. He would say “I don’t want to be with you anymore” and I would say, “ok, bye 👋🏾. Get tf out of my house.” I kicked him out of my house and after a few days he went through this cycle of smear, Hoover, smear, Hoover. I flipped his smears on him, ignored his request to go to marriage counseling, and rejected his apologies and desires to get back together. I know now that he probably wanted to get back with me so that he can try to dump me again.
Thank you joe 🙏🏻✨ your videos are fresh and calm. I enjoy them quite a lot, even though i am not watching much of NPD videos anymore, yours truly are really good ❤
I think maybe narc. is very happy that they kicked us in the bu** and we not bother them to play with a new toy, more often this is why they got rid of us, because there is someone new, narc. dont need us anymore and he is preparing for a new game to play. Just my thoughts. Thank you Joe , great video as always ! 🤗❤
First he discard me he got high fever second he got a depress 3rd he got high fever again because I'm empath I do everything for him.. but the last he descard me he knows that I'm not going back eneymore for them.. he so fast to follow me to all.my account to talk to me I never ever for give them never!
Great video. I can't believe I'm even tolerating all the petty crap this girl I'm seeing is putting me through. I suspect she's a narcissist. She has the traits and she drives me INSANE.
@@pantsenfuego9986We are in a same sex relationship, but this female displays too many traits to the point that I just want to ghost her and disappear. I think she's managed to get my trauma bonded and it's hard to break away when I want too.
This is a really great channel and I’m glad I found you. Everything you’re saying is absolutely correct. It’s such a hard pill to swallow, learning how they operate. It’s actually quite sad if you think about it. They are in constant disarray within their minds. It took me over a decade to realize he was a narcissist. I always knew something was wrong, but I had no idea it was narcissism. He was really good at apologizing and putting forth effort for a good 2-3 months. It kept me stuck and thinking he had finally got it and my loyalty was finally paying off. But the cycle kept happening over and over. Sometimes we’d take very long breaks and then try again. It would be perfect for a few weeks and back to the discard. I got to the point where I wouldn’t even bring up issues anymore because I felt like I was causing the breakups. Then it would get so bad and I feel like now, he would purposely cause strife to get me to say something and then that’s when he’d say how much effort he’s been putting forth and feels like it’s never enough. Then he’d say we need to just focus on coparenting. Some days are better than others, but I just can’t believe I went thru this over and over. I knew I had to get out when I kept going back and didn’t even want to. That’s when I realized the trauma bond and cognitive dissonance. That cognitive dissonance is so real. Also, once I felt like I couldn’t live without him and felt like he was my high, I knew I had to fight with all my might. I had some very dark and lonely days/nights. I remember falling down in the shower to my knees and just crying out for help. I realized it wasn’t love anymore. Someone who loved me wouldn’t be hurting me this way. They wouldn’t keep leaving out my life and coming back. I realized it was control and it was abuse and I had to find a way out. The last discard was in August of last year and I told myself I would not go back this time. I felt him trying to trap me again with friendship and checking in on me and one day, a petty argument happened and I lost it on him. From that day I have remained indifferent and do not engage with him unless I absolutely have to. He is evil and he does not love me. I realize when I am at my lowest, that’s when he is empowered. I will never allow him in my personal space again. On my sons 18th birthday, I plan on blocking him for the rest of life. That’s a ways away, but it’s something I truly look forward to.
Hey Joe 👋, could you put together a video on Flying Monkeys? The narc I used to know is using flying monkeys to find out what I’ve been up to. I went completely off the grid and the narc couldn’t find me. However, ONE acquaintance knew my phone number and called me. Urg!!!
Yo Joe I totally appreciate your work helping people like myself I’ve been involved with a younger girl I’ve done nothing but kind loving supportive I’ve spent money on her and her kids but got nothing in return as in love she dragged me down tried to destroy my identity but I’m now been no contact for a few months now and starting to feel myself again I remember playing a board game with her kids and they were winning I was saying well done guys the foul language that came out her mouth because she wasn’t winning was a real eye opener 😢
Narky uses and abuses. Once you started giving you were seen as a "sucker." Narky sees you as weak and that equates to worthless. Narky has NO empathy so how could she care? It's not possible without empathy. You being nice is also why she thinks your trash like her. How could you be so nice to such trash, she is thinking. You giving is like rubbing it in her face, she can't give. You can't win with these people I mean were talking about mental illness aren't we???
Learn to let go of the things that don't serve your highest good. That includes blood sucking realtionships that drain you of money, time, resources, and energy. Especially when there isn't any respect in the relationship. Learn to break free from codependancy, and heal. 😊
Most that I've known are alcoholics. Imagine waking up everyday seeking attention and validation like we need oxygen. Having to prove to everyone that their all powerful all superior. Imagine having to live like that each and every minute of everyday. Having no self esteem, confidence, and strength. Not being able to regulate emotions. Having to be codependent on other humans to get rid of toxic feelings...
Ever since the discard, he’s been hovering around everything he’s never cared about before like the bills being paid on time. He threatens to kill me, my son hears him. Then he calls a couple hours later and says oops my bad, I was looking at 2023. And he left me his laundry to do. What a douchebag.
Also, be careful of this, if they dump you and you accept it, they'll then hoover with insinuations you didn't care. Bullshit, I cared right up to the point of getting dumped. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
What a clear grounded message, thank you. I have found… that i cannot step out of keeping up on the narcissistic conversation… because they keep showing up in life. May i keep them at a safe distance this year and always FOREVERMORE ❣️🖤🩶🤍🩵🩷🧡💛💚💙💜🤎
Don't forget to check out my other Channel!!
m.ua-cam.com/users/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=chillin+with+joe
He wouldn't stop calling me for a full fkn year even after he dumped me. These people are SICK IN THE HEAD.
He didn't dump you, he lost you... Just make sure it stays that way...
@@onyxbellz It's been over 30 years. It's definitely going to stay that way.
@@user-dn5bi4si5w 👍👍👍👍
If a narcissist discards you, believe me, it’s the BEST GIFT THEY CAN GIVE YOU….LEAVING YOU ALONE. You will heal and you will be at peace over time. They are not your be all end all like they think!!!
It's the gift that keeps on giving 🎉✌️
They trust on the traumabond, but that traumabond is not endless. Someday you wake up and you realize that you are free, and you put yourself on place 1, 2 and 3.
My ADVISE don't DON'T chase them, count your LUCKY STARS your FREE OF THIS ABUSE, Feel totally BLESSED to be FREE and live in PEACE 🙏
Yes the moment u take the power back, is when they feel it! And if u become too powerful, they will move on to another easier victim.
Usually. A malignant narcissist can/will harass and torment you for years. They are delusional and will become vindictive if you end the relationship before they have their next victim lined up.
Navigating the intricacies of a conversation with a narcissist is akin to walking through a verbal labyrinth where every word is a potential trap and every sentence conceals hidden meanings.
A Narcissist will try to control a conversation by changing the “language” so you will have a difficult time articulating what you are trying to say. My ex fiancé would do that to me.
Paranoia
Mine went absolutely toxic when she learned I’d met someone new 😂
I embrace the discard😂. Why draw it out? I got things to do
I discarded him after years of abuse. He can't dream of ever having power over me again. That's why he will never hoover. Thanks, Joe.
They alway’s hoover. They are all the same. The exact same blueprint. Even 1-2-5-10-15 years down the road. Be prepared. Stick to « no contact», and you will make it
@@Ikaros23 I made the mistake of reconnecting with my ex narc 15yrs after our brief first relationship. He said he had changed & grown throughout the years. I had no education on narcissism. Sadly, I spent the next 4 years being slowly destroyed. I finally went no contact after educating myself. There's no going back a third time. You're completely correct. Hoovering can happen at any time.
Thank you for reminding me guys!!!
When my (narcissistic) ex significant other broke up with me, I moved out shortly after and she accused me of throwing her in the garbage.
Pretty much the same thing happened to me. After I stopped playing the games and started seeing another woman, she felt betrayed and called me all kinds of things. After a while she felt bad, but never apologized, but confessed that she fel like we were just having a fight, but never considered ourselves as broken up.
I discarded him will never ever give this psycho the time of day again.
Wow you really have this spot on. I never researched what kind of people narcissists were until my ex girlfriend portrayed the exact things you're describing in here. It's unbelievable. I wish I'd known what characteristics narcissists had a long time ago. I might have saved myself alot of pain.
Same here. They are ultimate destroyers. I dated a covert narcissist. Also since you just figured this out, a lot don’t know this. Not everyone with NPD has ASPD, but everyone that has ASPD has NPD. They are also known as narcopaths. I know this becuz I dated a covert narcissist sociopath. Covert also known as very hidden, like closet narcissism. Also sociopaths their synonym is con artists. Take care of yourself and never LOOK BACK👈🏻
I’m in your same situation. Best of luck!
Same here..
Me too I was 7 years with my ex covert narcissistic girlfriend from 53 to im 60 now. I had absolutely no idea what a covert narcissist was but I was more and more broken every year to the point where I couldn't do it anymore but I was confused and couldn't understand what was going wrong. It wasn't till I found this wonderful community on UA-cam that described her behaviors and narcissistic traits so perfectly and it was like a key in a lock and opened the lock for me to understand what had gone wrong for seven years of my life. I'd say life can be funny but there's nothing funny about being with a narcissist especially a covert one. I'm still having trouble healing and getting over it all and I have met quite a few women who like me and want my number but I'm useless to them at the moment I had no idea a narcissist could be so damaging and I didn't even really know why or how it was happening but none of it made sense . Anyway, great comment you made and all the best to you healing and rebuilding and I hope you meet someone lovely and honest.
@@OlBlueshound just focus on yourself and be the best version of yourself. That’s what they spite the most. Stay single until your healing is done. Someone told me something at work a few weeks ago that I had never ever heard of. You don’t really know a person until they get mad. Coverts hide everything, that’s why they are called coverts they are also known to be closet narcissists. My situation is so long it’s pointless to talk about. But they can rage out of nowhere. He got jumped while we were waiting on an Uber and as he was being punched in the head I tried to grab him and he slammed me into the ground 13 times and accidentally almost killed me. Did he mean to do that to me, no but did he care who he did it to, no. That’s all secretly unsaid. But it’s all about their lose of their actions. So never ever fall in love with someone with a victim mentality and or depression. Depression is a smoke screen for them. And do not devolve that much about yourself when you first met them. Live, laugh, love. Just never allow someone like that to ever come in your life again now that you know this even exists. They are wolves in sheep’s clothings.👈🏻
I've noticed a couple people from my past did a discard on me and then were shocked I said okay, and walked away. It's like they wanted me to chase them.
You are correct. Narcissists love playing manipulative games with people. It’s all about them gaining power and control over you.
Joe i just LOVE your podcast. Narc abuse has led me closer to God, but when its family its soooo hard, as i took much abuse to go along to get along. Boy as soon as i go sober BAM, now im suddenly mentally ill and causing family drama. Ok. Almost 4 years sober, i stand alone, and that is ok! God is with me always. Thanks Joe!!
Well done 👏
Good for you! I’m sober as well. I think the fact I’m an alcoholic and an addict just made my addiction/trauma bond so much harder to get over.
I was 6.5 yrs sober. And her hate increased. Blaming for all of her problems and life. Officially divorced today. 19 yrs gone.
@@directionfinderformen Are you sober now? Try to look at it this way. WOW, THIS WAS THE GREATEST LESSON OF MY KIFE AND IT WILL NEVER EVER EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. Now let's go live our best light. Sir, we stand with you in healing. You, me, and Joe. And sadly many others.
@cynthiafortier2540 absolutely. I only fell off the wagon for a couple of months 6.5 yrs sober. Now almost to the 2 yr point again and loving it. I also have a published book along with my YT channel. God bless 🙌 🙏
Narc ex decided he wasn’t happy and called it quits-I told him okay, moved out and went on with my life-it was his decision to “discard” me and my decision to never engage again.
We weren’t social media friends, my family didn’t like him nor engaged with him-I’ve moved on and there’s no contact-my friend is dealing with a narcissistic brother and we watch your videos together as she wants to learn about narcissism. Thanks Joe.❤
Thanks Joe for this video. It all makes sense, they sit in their power and control persona whilst they're out harvesting new supply whilst the main supply is supposed to stay around and be loyal. The main supply usually knows what's going on But its still a shock when your devalued, ghosted, then discarded, as it usually comes out of nowhere.
I accepted their decisions about replacing,chasing,copying,rejectig,
opressing.Now I'm living my life without them.
They’re definitely not. They’re really not ready if you dump them first. Once you’ve done it, theres a very high level of satisfaction in knowing you blew a narcissist’s mind. 😊
It’s been almost 3 months since the discard and it did hurt in the beginning but I was moving on. Until last week of December I was doing great but then I had a dream about him and now I see some random Instagram requests being sent my way. I’m not entertaining, not responding but in my head, I am thinking about the past memories. I feel energetically they try to hold onto you. So even if there is no physical contact, energetically a lot goes on. I know I will never go back however I need to remove him from my life in every sense.
My ex fiancé ended our 5 year relationship after I wouldn’t move to Florida to be with him. Honestly, I feel he was trying to move me away from my family. I feel he was trying to isolate me from my family. My response to him breaking up with me was “I feel it’s better that we part ways. Take care.” In a way, I was glad that he ended our relationship because it was five years of hell. I feel so much happier and freer since we parted ways. He was emotionally abusive. Five years of that was enough for me.
I was discarded when she was 4 months pregnant. I was totally caught off guard. I begged to be in my childs life. All i got was called crazy, tried to get me fired, tried to get me arrested. Over a year now, no contact. Never met my child, and im moving on. Always thought she'd come back. Never happened
You don't need her permission to spend time with your child. Petition the court for a DNA test and then visitation. Otherwise, the child will grow up to think you abandoned them. 😢good luck.
@@Merbella I'm working on that now. It is my only option. Thank you for your words!
Your child didn't do anything wrong. They shouldn't suffer as a result of this. You were exposed to the narcissist to develop narcissist antibodies to pass down to your child, to help them suffer less than you had to.
Sounds like a narc move, to keep you away from your kid, all about power.
Being that we're not narcissists we don't even think of this power thing, hence all the hoovering from them just to "regain power" is confusing, but yup, that's what they're up to for sure.😂
The pos ran off 10 yrs ago and remarried, I haven't once tried to reach out to him, he got his divorce and I got on with my life, he still keeps in touch with my daughters my son wants nothing to do with him, I have heard he has divorced again, so on it goes.
I listen to this as it is happening 😪
I hope you're doing alright a few months down the track.
You're not alone 🙏💛✌️
WOW even just the title of that shows how twisted the whole thing is!
This is spot on. As I reflect on my situation(I didn’t know anything about narcissism back then) my ex was trying to discard me. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t escape feeling like he was the one that got dumped. He would say “I don’t want to be with you anymore” and I would say, “ok, bye 👋🏾. Get tf out of my house.” I kicked him out of my house and after a few days he went through this cycle of smear, Hoover, smear, Hoover. I flipped his smears on him, ignored his request to go to marriage counseling, and rejected his apologies and desires to get back together. I know now that he probably wanted to get back with me so that he can try to dump me again.
Thank you joe 🙏🏻✨ your videos are fresh and calm. I enjoy them quite a lot, even though i am not watching much of NPD videos anymore, yours truly are really good ❤
Same here 😊
There can be no power over Nature... Thank You!!:))!!
Joe this channel is a blessing. happy New Year 2024 To All Reading This. Peace.Peace.Peace!
I think maybe narc. is very happy that they kicked us in the bu** and we not bother them to play with a new toy, more often this is why they got rid of us, because there is someone new, narc. dont need us anymore and he is preparing for a new game to play. Just my thoughts. Thank you Joe , great video as always ! 🤗❤
It doesn't really matter if they are playing. Thank god we are out and healing ❤️✨ you will thrive and shine better and stronger than before 🤗❤️
Absolutely
Another excellent video Joe. So spot on. Totally relates to my situation.👍
Thanks joe
First he discard me he got high fever second he got a depress 3rd he got high fever again because I'm empath I do everything for him.. but the last he descard me he knows that I'm not going back eneymore for them.. he so fast to follow me to all.my account to talk to me I never ever for give them never!
Love your stuff Joe!
Great video. I can't believe I'm even tolerating all the petty crap this girl I'm seeing is putting me through. I suspect she's a narcissist. She has the traits and she drives me INSANE.
It only get worse once you know. Get out asap, brother
@@pantsenfuego9986We are in a same sex relationship, but this female displays too many traits to the point that I just want to ghost her and disappear. I think she's managed to get my trauma bonded and it's hard to break away when I want too.
Unless they of course monkey branched.
Power,NEVER THAT!! I'VE BEEN NO CONTACT FOR ALMOST 6 YEARS BABY❤❤❤
Right. Once you move on and render them nothing. You take back your power and have won.
I love your videos 🙏🏽
You’re so good 😊
Unfortunately, I thought of a really good get even…. Ugh. …. … … It would be SOOOooooo SWEET!
One thing......REVENGE. !! FOR BEING BOTN!!
This is a really great channel and I’m glad I found you. Everything you’re saying is absolutely correct. It’s such a hard pill to swallow, learning how they operate. It’s actually quite sad if you think about it. They are in constant disarray within their minds. It took me over a decade to realize he was a narcissist. I always knew something was wrong, but I had no idea it was narcissism. He was really good at apologizing and putting forth effort for a good 2-3 months. It kept me stuck and thinking he had finally got it and my loyalty was finally paying off. But the cycle kept happening over and over. Sometimes we’d take very long breaks and then try again. It would be perfect for a few weeks and back to the discard. I got to the point where I wouldn’t even bring up issues anymore because I felt like I was causing the breakups. Then it would get so bad and I feel like now, he would purposely cause strife to get me to say something and then that’s when he’d say how much effort he’s been putting forth and feels like it’s never enough. Then he’d say we need to just focus on coparenting. Some days are better than others, but I just can’t believe I went thru this over and over. I knew I had to get out when I kept going back and didn’t even want to. That’s when I realized the trauma bond and cognitive dissonance. That cognitive dissonance is so real. Also, once I felt like I couldn’t live without him and felt like he was my high, I knew I had to fight with all my might. I had some very dark and lonely days/nights. I remember falling down in the shower to my knees and just crying out for help. I realized it wasn’t love anymore. Someone who loved me wouldn’t be hurting me this way. They wouldn’t keep leaving out my life and coming back. I realized it was control and it was abuse and I had to find a way out. The last discard was in August of last year and I told myself I would not go back this time. I felt him trying to trap me again with friendship and checking in on me and one day, a petty argument happened and I lost it on him. From that day I have remained indifferent and do not engage with him unless I absolutely have to. He is evil and he does not love me. I realize when I am at my lowest, that’s when he is empowered. I will never allow him in my personal space again. On my sons 18th birthday, I plan on blocking him for the rest of life. That’s a ways away, but it’s something I truly look forward to.
You have to remember it has nothing to do with you. He's only acting and doing whatever his mental illness is telling him to do...
Hey Joe 👋, could you put together a video on Flying Monkeys? The narc I used to know is using flying monkeys to find out what I’ve been up to. I went completely off the grid and the narc couldn’t find me. However, ONE acquaintance knew my phone number and called me. Urg!!!
Yo Joe I totally appreciate your work helping people like myself I’ve been involved with a younger girl I’ve done nothing but kind loving supportive I’ve spent money on her and her kids but got nothing in return as in love she dragged me down tried to destroy my identity but I’m now been no contact for a few months now and starting to feel myself again I remember playing a board game with her kids and they were winning I was saying well done guys the foul language that came out her mouth because she wasn’t winning was a real eye opener 😢
Narky uses and abuses. Once you started giving you were seen as a "sucker." Narky sees you as weak and that equates to worthless. Narky has NO empathy so how could she care? It's not possible without empathy. You being nice is also why she thinks your trash like her. How could you be so nice to such trash, she is thinking. You giving is like rubbing it in her face, she can't give. You can't win with these people I mean were talking about mental illness aren't we???
Love your podcasts 💯 💯
Thank you for these videos, especially this one. This gives me the strength to keep no contact and to cancel him and the Hoover!
Excellent!
Learn to let go of the things that don't serve your highest good. That includes blood sucking realtionships that drain you of money, time, resources, and energy. Especially when there isn't any respect in the relationship.
Learn to break free from codependancy, and heal. 😊
Ty 🕊️✨💪🪽🫶
Hello Joe, love your videos, helped me a lot, thank you.
Question: do you have knowledge about sucidical narcissists? Why would they commit suicide?
Most that I've known are alcoholics. Imagine waking up everyday seeking attention and validation like we need oxygen. Having to prove to everyone that their all powerful all superior. Imagine having to live like that each and every minute of everyday. Having no self esteem, confidence, and strength. Not being able to regulate emotions. Having to be codependent on other humans to get rid of toxic feelings...
I don't know if I believe all this because, they move on and don't think about you. They need to find supply
Flying monkeys 😢
Ever since the discard, he’s been hovering around everything he’s never cared about before like the bills being paid on time. He threatens to kill me, my son hears him. Then he calls a couple hours later and says oops my bad, I was looking at 2023. And he left me his laundry to do. What a douchebag.
What if you expose them after the discard
Also, be careful of this, if they dump you and you accept it, they'll then hoover with insinuations you didn't care. Bullshit, I cared right up to the point of getting dumped. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Head phones,sound low
He is threatening me cuz he heard through a spy I’m actually talking to my own kids again. Whatever dude.
What a clear grounded message, thank you. I have found… that i cannot step out of keeping up on the narcissistic conversation… because they keep showing up in life. May i keep them at a safe distance this year and always FOREVERMORE ❣️🖤🩶🤍🩵🩷🧡💛💚💙💜🤎