True. I found mine again recently and honestly its like ive fought the dark side and remained a Jedi. Dont know how else to put it other than maybe I finally put threw the ring into mount doom metaphorically.
And please continue! Dont "fall" for anything they say. "My" narcissist still have tried to get me back for 8 years....with sms' and phoning me. But I have kept him on a distance. UNTIL one soul told me 1 year ago that you can block them. And so I did. This last year have been the best year in a really Long time. Dont have to read his messages, Dont have to be afraid that he will call me. Nothing- And I loooove it😂😅😊
Never let a narcissist find out your friends. Never let them see your social media accounts. They will befriend your friends and turn them against you. But honestly they do you a favor in a way because anyone who can be swayed by made up lies to dislike you and never ask you personally what is true doesn’t past the test to be a wise friend that you should keep around.
I was with a covert narc this summer. She was beautiful and so sweet in the beginning. Lots of future faking and compliments. Then she started to take days to reply, then she started canceling dates out of the blue from time to time. I set no boundaries because the connection to her felt so intense and otherworldy. I neglected even my regular life and my job. Since the beginning I always had a funny feeling in my gut when we met but of course I just brushed it away. One day, we met and this was the first time she subletly started to devalue me regarding a topic where I was heavily invested in emotionally. That evening, I kept my composure, overplayed it but felt terrible inside. The next day, I gave her a call and ended things after a lot of contemplating. That came out of the blue for her. She tried to apologize but I stayed firm. Then she got very upset and threw a tantrum but I ignored it mostly. This was the heaviest decision I ever took in my life, it‘s so damn hard to let go of something you‘re emotionally so attached too. She tried to came back but I challenged her on a story/lie she told me when we started dating and again this came pretty much out of the blue for her. She never told me the truth about it, instead she tried to gaslight me and was projecting all kinds of things on me - she pretty much lost it in that conversation. We‘re in no contact since then but because of this experience, I learned about narcissists.
Thank you for this story. What I took from it, it just goes to show that that nastiness in them IS their true self and that the sane, nice persona is a put on. I would guess that they start out fake then get relaxed and their true nature, the little two year old inside, slips out. I think they’re bullies all grown up now, looking to bully in covert ways to make themselves feel better.
Been there done that. You held your ground, smartly didn’t let her put her mask back on and held it off her face thereby exposing her true nature. She couldn’t contain herself and her toxicity.
@@bonnielee7134 on that evening when the devalue happened, she said to me something like: „when I‘m around you, I feel relaxed and don‘t need to put on a mask.“ Back then, I thought to myself: „man, that is an odd thing to say, what mask?“ little did I know...
@@bonnielee7134 my experience I had was literally like she was trying to get revenge against me for everything other men had done to her, I heard all the stories, one man cheated on her, one man turned her down another man tried controlling her and another abused her, over time she would portray to be a victim of any of the above at me,
Hahaha! I was abused throughout the entire relationship and devalued. She cheated on me the whole time, 2 years, with multiple people. I finally broke up with her and walked away for good. She had already started the smear campaign while we were together but it kicked into a higher gear when I ended it. She also paraded her new supply in front of me. She constantly had her flying monkeys and supply screw with me and insult me. Finally after some distance and time she tried to Hoover me through flying monkeys. I rejected time and again and she was furious. All the flying monkeys tried and tried to hurt me and upset me. An even bigger smear campaign. I stayed cool as a cucumber as I didn’t care what the idiots were doing. Finally, after 5 years of this crap, she was so disturbed by my happiness that she sent a FM with a couple messages. The first was a threat and the other was to let me know that she was together with the guy she cheated on me with 7 years ago. First of all that guy is an idiot bc he’s the last in a very very long line of supply, and second he’s been privy to all of her shenanigans from the beginning. I informed the FM that I didn’t care bc prior to me breaking up with her 5 years ago I found out I was getting an inheritance. I told the monkey that my ex “had everything she ever wanted in the palm of her hand, and that she took a giant shit on it.” I was going to spend six figures on her and even buy her a car(Stuff that I was being programmed to get for her). “Good riddance” to the both of them, they deserve each other, I couldn’t be happier with my decision to leave her, was my response. I thanked the monkey for the validation I didn’t even need. Well, needless to say this response was not what my ex was hoping for and it thoroughly enraged her. Full on attack from an entire army of FMs and enablers. I gladly moved far away as everyone who was a part of this “game” of hers came out of the woodwork and exposed themselves. Misery loves company and those idiots are the most miserable I’ve ever known. And all living together in one of the most miserable cities in the country. I didn’t think I would be the one to hand karma back to the one who tried so hard to destroy me. My life is sooo wonderful now. It still amazes me of what calamity and catastrophe I avoided. These rotten fucks in the end get what they deserve and it’s of their own making!
I told her early in the devalue stage that our relationship is teethering on the edge of breaking. She kept pushing my buttons and I eventually walked out for good. Now after a few months, she is coming back apologizing for her behaviour after being a total ***. Thanks Joe for making sense of this all.
Please be aware so you dont fall for the apologies. If you do and go back, they will do more bad stuff. Dont get into the spiderweb. I have been there and oh my, how hard it was to get out
It is a cruel, cruel game they play. Your description similar to my experience. The trauma bond is a wicked remembrance of someone you loved dearly, when you think it’s gone it occasionally rears its ugly head again and you have to recall all the insidious cruelty projected onto you. Thank God that creep is out of my life.
I have 22 sticky notes on the wall next to my nightstand, to remind me of lies he told, cruel things he said, sex injuries he claimed were accidental, the way he ruined special occasions, defended his flying monkey (another narcissist) after she gave me a rufie so she could do a black magic ritual on me to steal him from me (took 8-12 months for the pertinent memories to return after getting rufied), laughed in my face about where I was sitting at one of her dinner parties because it was on the ottoman where they had sex, the way he ogled a young man’s bubble butt at Walmart one day (definitely bi), and many other nightmarish things I would like to forget, if not for the importance of remembering. Stay strong! Happy new year! Happy new life! 🙏🏼🎊🎆🥂🍾🎇🎉
I was blessed as l saw early....my body was scremming...and l got sick. I was never intimate with him...that saved me. Truama bond....to heal my own issues. But he was hell. Run
It is very true that they carefully gauge the victim's limits and go right up to the limit, but not beyond it---at least for a while. I think, in the end, they think the victim has no limits, and invariably, the narc goes too far. The end result is that they're genuinely surprised the victim left them like a bag of trash at a city dump. They're weird people. That's all I can say.
I am grateful for the experience of allowing a Narcissist into my life for a VERY brief time. My dog barked & growled continuously the moment he entered my life, until her passing (6 months into the relationship) Verbal abuse ✅ Hands around my neck ✅ No contact ✅❤ New phone number ✅❤ Relocated out of state ✅❤ Disappeared from my entire family ✅❤ I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I KNOW WHAT I DON’T WANT Thank you God for hearing my prayers WWG1WGA🌎WORLDWIDE ❤❤❤❤❤🇺🇸
Game theory is exactly right. We are in our third no contact phase. I broke it the other 2 times, because I thought perhaps he thought I initiated it. Now it is clear that it is what he desired, so the no contact will stay in place this time. I bet he has no clue what Game Theory is.
Went NC with my daughter, son-in-law, and their three kids as I will no longer allow the mass disrespect to my mother, sister, husband, and myself from a pack of hyenas and flying monkeys. No more family gatherings, vacations, or bailouts for ungrateful and disrespectful people. They think that things are gonna blow over for them, but I am looking into a no contact order as they fabricate potentially destructive narratives. Rock solid boundaries--peace over disrespect. Best wishes
@@immers2410 Only the weak get attacked . We gave to stop portraying weakness to these people, they start off love bombing wearing the mask and this is the time we show them we are not to be played with. U gave them that impression that you would never leave, they can sense your energy
He discarded me. Less than a month later he text claiming I unblocked him and blocked him again so he had to contact me to try make amends... I just ignored it! Make them stand on the discard forever, if you are so bad, why do they keep discarding and hoovering with silly things like 'I have insecurities and I'm sorry but I know it's no excuse' blah blah I don't care, I was fine until he came along and trauma bonded me, and I shall be fine again when I exit the trauma bond. I no longer care or have time for this nonsense, I am not the one to wait around and find out what other surprises are in store for me from a person who can't even have basic respect
My soon to be ex discarded me for the last time 12/22 after I stopped the divorce and took her back. This time, she tried small hoovers, and I simply replied by holding her accountable. I haven't heard anything thus far, but 01/24 we will have our final court hearing for the divorce, I'm prepared for some last-minute, aggressive tactics(hoovers). She has never come and got her belongings. I put them on the storage building out back. Great video, right on point!!!!
Your timing with videos is amazing. Every single one is connected to my life somehow and every time you provide the answer & say exactly what i need to hear I can´t thank you enough for making my life better 🙏
Joe with all do respect…….. let’s all just worry about getting out and closing the door permanently not worrying about the mice running around in their heads
I recently went through this. I was absolutely unprepared to give them any second chance from day 1. It cause a whole load of increasing drama and I ended up firstly cutting them off and later walking away from mutual 'friends' who Im sure didnt actually see what my issue was. Im sure the narcissist feels like they have 'won' because the friends ended up staying with them. So in my head, Im safe and it was worth it, but also Im very aware the narcissist probably loved the drama with the mutual people.
Joe, you're just too darn cool with your practical 😎 😉 advice in the narcissist. I love it! 😂 Soon, we'll all be wearing sunglasses and sizing up people and their hidden motives! 😎 Now that I'm inspired, I think I'll go home now and watch an episode of Columbo if you don't mind excusing me from class. 😅
I discarded the one I married after 31/2 years my father was a covert narcissist and this one acted just like him he hoovered twice failed he tries to get my attention when he sees me outside no reaction at all from me.
I've recently escaped a 12 year relationship with a vulnerable narcissistic. Your insights have been a great support Joe. Thank you. I find your voice soothing 😊
true true....the one I was entangled with went the extra mile to try and get me back...hoovered me 5 times in 2020. I didn't get suckered into sex but it met with it in public places. the last time, I looked at it and said 'if I loved you like you say you love me, you'd be running out of here like your hair's on fire' and then told 'her', 'you have no idea who you're fu(king with' got up and walked out of the restaurant. I did have the wherewithal to get a picture snapped 2 times 'she' appeared at my door.
The narcissist has a long wait - Forever. It’s been almost a year of me blocking him. There was a big hoover 6 months ago. How Joe describes this situation about leaving before the narcissist is ready is I believe exactly where I got to. I reached my limit with the narcissist’s lies, deceit, manipulation, BS and the illusion and I walked away. This wasn’t a game to me but was always a massive game to him. I know he wasn’t ready to let me go from the things he said - he had plans to keep me there for as long as he could but in the end I was ready to go. He over played his hand. Pushed me too far. And I left. Had to in order to save myself.
That's what makes them so convincing. They actually believe their own lies 😂 I am so happy to be free! He tired to hoover, but I ignored it! I keep dreaming he tries to come to my house looking sad but I know who he really is now, so it is easy to say heck no!
I've just come out of a two year relationship, it was hell. The first year she had me working for her for free, I nearly lost my job, I lost my house, one point I didn't see my parents for 3 months. Everything was a drama, forcing me to make changes I didn't want to make, with the ultimate punishment of being discarded. The last year she broke every boundry, went against morals, be littled me, embraced me, every time I saw her came with terms and conditions, I can't believe someone could be so heartless. I was told I was fake, I didn't know who I was, I wasn't who I portray I am many times. She was trying so hard to brake me, until I started to feel isolated and alone.
Been there done that. I lost myself 99%, didnt know Who I was anymore. Lost my work. It's scary how they can crawl under your skin. Thank God I am back 😊
@@LJonno.9499 I am luckily saying the same thing, thank god I'm back to being me, I'm still a bit shocked people like that are out there. This isn't ment in an entitled way, but I really didn't deserve someone doing what they did to me. I thank my friends and family for helping me navigate my way back.
First time l met him...he seemed annoyed l was not on facebook....l like my privacy.. but now l know why. Information in me. So glad l blocked the crasy.
Oh YAAAY, CONGRATULATIONS, Joe! 🎉 It's wonderful seeing your views and likes heading upwards! 😄 Way to go for not letting the slower start discourage you! Seriously, you're awesome, so I hope for both our sakes you keep the fab work! 🌟 Thank you!!!! PS - I still want to finish "liking" and saying "thanks" on each one. I'll do it, in hopes it helps. ❤
Hi Joe. There are millions of videos about narcissism on the internet now. A shift happened in 2020 and people started waking up. I wonder what your predictions are for narcissists in a world where society has woken up to their games and puts heavy boundaries on them and doesn’t internalize any of their projections? When they are forced to roam around for supply but there is no one to be found that regulates their emotions? A world that is more PC and calls out the bullying and devaluing? What do you predict will happen to narcissists world wide?
@@maestro6894 exactly you said until you broke the cycle and trauma bond. What if people get so educated they put up boundaries for the trauma bonds to never form and never let the cycle begin in the first place. I’m talking about a society where the previously highly empathic becomes aware of narcissism and stops it in its tracts. What do narcissists do when nobody around them buys their patterns?
@@PrettyIndependent1 Dating sites provide an unlimited “supply” of new people to lie to and con. They’ll find someone, unfortunately. People are awakening to the narcissists all around us in public life now, you’re so right. It’s wonderful to see, but tragic that it’s necessary.
@@allysonpostelle9837 I feel like maybe this is what the meta verse is for. Narcissists will need to either a watch a ton of tv for supply. Films and movies to immerse themselves in so they feel like they are the lead character getting all the attention. Or live in a game world like the sims where they can write the scripts in advance of how their world will interact with them. They will want to download their consciousness and live in a fake world if they aren’t getting supply in the real world, If we reach a high vibrational conscious society that doesn’t put up with bullying, tantrums or emotional terrorism. They don’t like reality in the first place because that means accountability.
@@livinggood6876 some already have. They just have kids and take the abuse out on them. You get scenarios like the parents in Matilda or the step family in Harry Potter.
@7:05 - The narc doesn't apologise. They move on rather easily. Whilst containing some truth, there is an element of make-believe to the uploader of this.
A conversation with a guy I spoke to for a month and met a couple of times quickly turned sour and he said he couldn’t see a way forward, could I? I said I couldn’t, I knew I’d seen red flags and weirdness in his communication. The morning after, he was chatting as if the previous conversation hadn’t happened and got nasty when I didn’t instantly reply to his first message for hours after I’d been out with friends. I blocked him. He confessed he had spreadsheets with information about myself, my family, colleagues and friends! Scary obsessive behaviour.
What about stalking you, harassing you and leaving hateful text and voice messages? Since I moved on I get battered with insults and threats. I blocked him, but the stuff still ends up in my blocked folder on my IPhone. I would like to see a video explaining why the narc is so angry with you when you got discarded and agreed to let him go.
Their "love" is only a mirage. It was never real, nor can it be restored, as it never was in the first place. Was your love real? The answer is yes, but it was misplaced into someone who can not reciprocate the very love that you seek, as they lack the emotions to do so. Therefore you become a useful took for the narcissist to extract resources such as money, time, houses, cars, status, validation etc. The sooner you realize this concept, the sooner you can heal and keep walking in the other direction. When you turn from their broken deceptive mirroring of you, and understanding their manipulations, the sooner you can heal from the trauma bond that they created to keep you enslaved to their shenanigans. Hope this is a help to you. 😊❤😊 Learn to love yourself, learn red flags, heal from the trauma bond, and quit confusing lust (desire) from true love. They use lust as a weapon to suck you in, and they use your own love and devotion to them to keep you trapped. They understand how to use your emotions against you as mind control, keeping you in a state of confusion, until you finally figure out the game they're playing. Unfortunately, they don't teach you this stuff in school, and quite frankly how many parents would have understood this stuff? 😊❤😊
@@user-qs5hz4mf3p yeah dude it’s pretty twisted they get along with her I believe they are narcs as well as they always disliked me I know my own parents and she plays victim as if I abandoned her and our sons so she moved in with them and they all call me and try to get me back in her life
12 hours after I planned on moving in with my NARC/BPD... She text " I literally don't have any reason to continue a relationship with you". Never heard from her again. Very disturbing
Narky wants you begging and pleading. Did you forget your role/lines? Now Narky's hurt you've just caused a Nark injury did you know that. Narky needs a little time. Narky's going 2 come back around and ONE UP you...
Don't forget to check out my other YT channel
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The empath.
The narcissist.
The doorslam.
You are immune to narcissistic behaviour if you are confident and know your value.
Not immune, but it makes it much easier to extricate yourself.
And the biggest one I think is Self Respect
True. I found mine again recently and honestly its like ive fought the dark side and remained a Jedi. Dont know how else to put it other than maybe I finally put threw the ring into mount doom metaphorically.
Yep
He miscalculated. I went no contact after a nasty discard a few months back and ignored his hoover last week.
And please continue! Dont "fall" for anything they say. "My" narcissist still have tried to get me back for 8 years....with sms' and phoning me. But I have kept him on a distance. UNTIL one soul told me 1 year ago that you can block them. And so I did. This last year have been the best year in a really Long time. Dont have to read his messages, Dont have to be afraid that he will call me. Nothing- And I loooove it😂😅😊
What was his hoover
Narcslayer 💪
Did he hoover again
Apologize? They cannot even begin to apologize for the innumerable transgressions over months and years.
Yep. My narc (brother) couldnt make up what hes done if he spent forever trying.
Never let a narcissist find out your friends. Never let them see your social media accounts. They will befriend your friends and turn them against you. But honestly they do you a favor in a way because anyone who can be swayed by made up lies to dislike you and never ask you personally what is true doesn’t past the test to be a wise friend that you should keep around.
I was with a covert narc this summer. She was beautiful and so sweet in the beginning. Lots of future faking and compliments. Then she started to take days to reply, then she started canceling dates out of the blue from time to time. I set no boundaries because the connection to her felt so intense and otherworldy. I neglected even my regular life and my job. Since the beginning I always had a funny feeling in my gut when we met but of course I just brushed it away. One day, we met and this was the first time she subletly started to devalue me regarding a topic where I was heavily invested in emotionally. That evening, I kept my composure, overplayed it but felt terrible inside. The next day, I gave her a call and ended things after a lot of contemplating. That came out of the blue for her. She tried to apologize but I stayed firm. Then she got very upset and threw a tantrum but I ignored it mostly. This was the heaviest decision I ever took in my life, it‘s so damn hard to let go of something you‘re emotionally so attached too. She tried to came back but I challenged her on a story/lie she told me when we started dating and again this came pretty much out of the blue for her. She never told me the truth about it, instead she tried to gaslight me and was projecting all kinds of things on me - she pretty much lost it in that conversation. We‘re in no contact since then but because of this experience, I learned about narcissists.
Thank you for this story. What I took from it, it just goes to show that that nastiness in them IS their true self and that the sane, nice persona is a put on. I would guess that they start out fake then get relaxed and their true nature, the little two year old inside, slips out.
I think they’re bullies all grown up now, looking to bully in covert ways to make themselves feel better.
Been there done that. You held your ground, smartly didn’t let her put her mask back on and held it off her face thereby exposing her true nature.
She couldn’t contain herself and her toxicity.
@@bonnielee7134 on that evening when the devalue happened, she said to me something like: „when I‘m around you, I feel relaxed and don‘t need to put on a mask.“ Back then, I thought to myself: „man, that is an odd thing to say, what mask?“ little did I know...
@@bonnielee7134 my experience I had was literally like she was trying to get revenge against me for everything other men had done to her, I heard all the stories, one man cheated on her, one man turned her down another man tried controlling her and another abused her, over time she would portray to be a victim of any of the above at me,
Narky can't self reflect they can't handle shame
Hahaha! I was abused throughout the entire relationship and devalued. She cheated on me the whole time, 2 years, with multiple people. I finally broke up with her and walked away for good. She had already started the smear campaign while we were together but it kicked into a higher gear when I ended it. She also paraded her new supply in front of me. She constantly had her flying monkeys and supply screw with me and insult me. Finally after some distance and time she tried to Hoover me through flying monkeys. I rejected time and again and she was furious. All the flying monkeys tried and tried to hurt me and upset me. An even bigger smear campaign. I stayed cool as a cucumber as I didn’t care what the idiots were doing. Finally, after 5 years of this crap, she was so disturbed by my happiness that she sent a FM with a couple messages. The first was a threat and the other was to let me know that she was together with the guy she cheated on me with 7 years ago. First of all that guy is an idiot bc he’s the last in a very very long line of supply, and second he’s been privy to all of her shenanigans from the beginning. I informed the FM that I didn’t care bc prior to me breaking up with her 5 years ago I found out I was getting an inheritance. I told the monkey that my ex “had everything she ever wanted in the palm of her hand, and that she took a giant shit on it.” I was going to spend six figures on her and even buy her a car(Stuff that I was being programmed to get for her). “Good riddance” to the both of them, they deserve each other, I couldn’t be happier with my decision to leave her, was my response. I thanked the monkey for the validation I didn’t even need. Well, needless to say this response was not what my ex was hoping for and it thoroughly enraged her. Full on attack from an entire army of FMs and enablers. I gladly moved far away as everyone who was a part of this “game” of hers came out of the woodwork and exposed themselves. Misery loves company and those idiots are the most miserable I’ve ever known. And all living together in one of the most miserable cities in the country. I didn’t think I would be the one to hand karma back to the one who tried so hard to destroy me. My life is sooo wonderful now. It still amazes me of what calamity and catastrophe I avoided. These rotten fucks in the end get what they deserve and it’s of their own making!
It’s been almost 4 years since I discarded him. And yes, he’s hoovered. A lot. To no avail. Im never opening the door again.
Mine is still going after 2 years he won't stop
I told her early in the devalue stage that our relationship is teethering on the edge of breaking. She kept pushing my buttons and I eventually walked out for good. Now after a few months, she is coming back apologizing for her behaviour after being a total ***.
Thanks Joe for making sense of this all.
Please be aware so you dont fall for the apologies. If you do and go back, they will do more bad stuff. Dont get into the spiderweb. I have been there and oh my, how hard it was to get out
It is a cruel, cruel game they play. Your description similar to my experience. The trauma bond is a wicked remembrance of someone you loved dearly, when you think it’s gone it occasionally rears its ugly head again and you have to recall all the insidious cruelty projected onto you. Thank God that creep is out of my life.
I have 22 sticky notes on the wall next to my nightstand, to remind me of lies he told, cruel things he said, sex injuries he claimed were accidental, the way he ruined special occasions, defended his flying monkey (another narcissist) after she gave me a rufie so she could do a black magic ritual on me to steal him from me (took 8-12 months for the pertinent memories to return after getting rufied), laughed in my face about where I was sitting at one of her dinner parties because it was on the ottoman where they had sex, the way he ogled a young man’s bubble butt at Walmart one day (definitely bi), and many other nightmarish things I would like to forget, if not for the importance of remembering. Stay strong! Happy new year! Happy new life! 🙏🏼🎊🎆🥂🍾🎇🎉
True. The trauma bond is what kept me there and ultimatley what freed me when i realised the narc was the one pushing and causing the trauma.
Love the lottery ticket analogy.😂😂
I was blessed as l saw early....my body was scremming...and l got sick. I was never intimate with him...that saved me. Truama bond....to heal my own issues. But he was hell. Run
It is very true that they carefully gauge the victim's limits and go right up to the limit, but not beyond it---at least for a while.
I think, in the end, they think the victim has no limits, and invariably, the narc goes too far. The end result is that they're genuinely surprised the victim left them like a bag of trash at a city dump.
They're weird people. That's all I can say.
👍👍👍
They are sad broken souls who prey upon others to make themselves feel better
All supply are indeed temporary custodians of affliction containment. Both the legal guardian and clean up type.
Well said. Damn poetic, even!
He overplayed his hand.....
I am grateful for the experience of allowing a Narcissist into my life for a VERY brief time.
My dog barked & growled continuously the moment he entered my life, until her passing (6 months into the relationship)
Verbal abuse ✅
Hands around my neck ✅
No contact ✅❤
New phone number ✅❤
Relocated out of state ✅❤
Disappeared from my entire family ✅❤
I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I KNOW WHAT I DON’T WANT
Thank you God for hearing my prayers
WWG1WGA🌎WORLDWIDE
❤❤❤❤❤🇺🇸
😊❤👍
They try to convince you that you are weak in areas in which you are clearly strong & for which others praise you. 🙄
They would never be able to see or experience the value in a partner. I have two words for being with a narcissist .....game theory.
Tit for two tats is a great strategy. 🤍
Game theory is exactly right. We are in our third no contact phase. I broke it the other 2 times, because I thought perhaps he thought I initiated it. Now it is clear that it is what he desired, so the no contact will stay in place this time. I bet he has no clue what Game Theory is.
Went NC with my daughter, son-in-law, and their three kids as I will no longer allow the mass disrespect to my mother, sister, husband, and myself from a pack of hyenas and flying monkeys. No more family gatherings, vacations, or bailouts for ungrateful and disrespectful people. They think that things are gonna blow over for them, but I am looking into a no contact order as they fabricate potentially destructive narratives. Rock solid boundaries--peace over disrespect. Best wishes
We also have to take accountability for portraying weakness to them. WE gave them that impression that we would never walk away. Do a video on that!
The trauma bond does that to even stable people.
Read about intermittent reinforcement. It’s a very powerful way to manipulate people/subjects and narcs are masters at it
@@immers2410
The Trauma bond comes later. No one ever attacks a threat.
@@immers2410
Only the weak get attacked . We gave to stop portraying weakness to these people, they start off love bombing wearing the mask and this is the time we show them we are not to be played with. U gave them that impression that you would never leave, they can sense your energy
He discarded me. Less than a month later he text claiming I unblocked him and blocked him again so he had to contact me to try make amends... I just ignored it! Make them stand on the discard forever, if you are so bad, why do they keep discarding and hoovering with silly things like 'I have insecurities and I'm sorry but I know it's no excuse' blah blah I don't care, I was fine until he came along and trauma bonded me, and I shall be fine again when I exit the trauma bond. I no longer care or have time for this nonsense, I am not the one to wait around and find out what other surprises are in store for me from a person who can't even have basic respect
Yeah that's sound like Narky. "Can't even have basic human respect."
My soon to be ex discarded me for the last time 12/22 after I stopped the divorce and took her back. This time, she tried small hoovers, and I simply replied by holding her accountable. I haven't heard anything thus far, but 01/24 we will have our final court hearing for the divorce, I'm prepared for some last-minute, aggressive tactics(hoovers). She has never come and got her belongings. I put them on the storage building out back. Great video, right on point!!!!
Stay strong and happy new year! Happy new life!
Your timing with videos is amazing. Every single one is connected to my life somehow and every time you provide the answer & say exactly what i need to hear
I can´t thank you enough for making my life better 🙏
You said it all. I looooove your comment. Even thinking of posting it as it describes my feelings word for word. Thanks for sharing your feelings.
Agreed!! Same here ❤
Joe with all do respect…….. let’s all just worry about getting out and closing the door permanently not worrying about the mice running around in their heads
It always ends the same way. Just don’t open the door. Don’t listen to the voicemails, block everything you can, and shake their dust off your shoes.
I recently went through this. I was absolutely unprepared to give them any second chance from day 1. It cause a whole load of increasing drama and I ended up firstly cutting them off and later walking away from mutual 'friends' who Im sure didnt actually see what my issue was. Im sure the narcissist feels like they have 'won' because the friends ended up staying with them. So in my head, Im safe and it was worth it, but also Im very aware the narcissist probably loved the drama with the mutual people.
Hot chick lost my smoothie cup so I lost / blocked her # .. She can't believe I ignore her in public 😂😂 I love it
I think he must have thought I was very stupid and easy to abuse while nowhere to go.
Joe, you're just too darn cool with your practical 😎 😉 advice in the narcissist. I love it! 😂
Soon, we'll all be wearing sunglasses and sizing up people and their hidden motives! 😎
Now that I'm inspired, I think I'll go home now and watch an episode of Columbo if you don't mind excusing me from class. 😅
😂😂
I discarded the one I married after 31/2 years my father was a covert narcissist and this one acted just like him he hoovered twice failed he tries to get my attention when he sees me outside no reaction at all from me.
Devastating to a narcissist I am told.
Good for u 👏👏👏Please do continue no reaction! 🙏❤
If you'd had experiences with Narks why would you marry one???
Good morning ! 🌞 Lets have a cup of joe ☕☕with Joe and find out more secrets of narcissist's mind, only Joe can tell us 🤫 Thank you, great video ! 🤗❤
I've recently escaped a 12 year relationship with a vulnerable narcissistic. Your insights have been a great support Joe. Thank you. I find your voice soothing 😊
true true....the one I was entangled with went the extra mile to try and get me back...hoovered me 5 times in 2020.
I didn't get suckered into sex but it met with it in public places. the last time, I looked at it and said 'if I loved you like you say you love me, you'd be running out of here like your hair's on fire' and then told 'her', 'you have no idea who you're fu(king with' got up and walked out of the restaurant.
I did have the wherewithal to get a picture snapped 2 times 'she' appeared at my door.
The narcissist has a long wait - Forever. It’s been almost a year of me blocking him. There was a big hoover 6 months ago. How Joe describes this situation about leaving before the narcissist is ready is I believe exactly where I got to. I reached my limit with the narcissist’s lies, deceit, manipulation, BS and the illusion and I walked away. This wasn’t a game to me but was always a massive game to him. I know he wasn’t ready to let me go from the things he said - he had plans to keep me there for as long as he could but in the end I was ready to go. He over played his hand. Pushed me too far. And I left. Had to in order to save myself.
Take their breath away…forever…
That's what makes them so convincing. They actually believe their own lies 😂 I am so happy to be free! He tired to hoover, but I ignored it! I keep dreaming he tries to come to my house looking sad but I know who he really is now, so it is easy to say heck no!
Not me I'm over her I keep rejecting her she's like a puppet hahaha
I've just come out of a two year relationship, it was hell. The first year she had me working for her for free, I nearly lost my job, I lost my house, one point I didn't see my parents for 3 months. Everything was a drama, forcing me to make changes I didn't want to make, with the ultimate punishment of being discarded. The last year she broke every boundry, went against morals, be littled me, embraced me, every time I saw her came with terms and conditions, I can't believe someone could be so heartless. I was told I was fake, I didn't know who I was, I wasn't who I portray I am many times. She was trying so hard to brake me, until I started to feel isolated and alone.
Been there done that. I lost myself 99%, didnt know Who I was anymore. Lost my work. It's scary how they can crawl under your skin. Thank God I am back 😊
@@LJonno.9499 I am luckily saying the same thing, thank god I'm back to being me, I'm still a bit shocked people like that are out there. This isn't ment in an entitled way, but I really didn't deserve someone doing what they did to me. I thank my friends and family for helping me navigate my way back.
thank you 🙏🏼 the lottery ticket analogy really helps put things into perspective
Been no contact for 7 months after 9 years of narcissist abuse. He's tried to come back 2 times. I wont engage with him AT ALL!
😅 Well empath give them so many chances you should have but I'm glad you didn't.
She kept telling me I treated her like trash - I simply left
This is so true!!!
Try 12 years! He was in prison I married him .. he got out left me for a karmic! Moving on.. live and learn!!
Never accept a hoover
Game over
likes your vids... thanks. i hope its the people who know the least, that take away the most from your vids..
I'm moving on by rascal flats comes to mind listening to your video. Thank you 😊 love from Socorro NM 🙏.
Nice perspective!
I am so glad I found your videos! Thank you!! ❤
Exactly this xx Thank you x
First time l met him...he seemed annoyed l was not on facebook....l like my privacy.. but now l know why. Information in me. So glad l blocked the crasy.
Oh YAAAY, CONGRATULATIONS, Joe! 🎉 It's wonderful seeing your views and likes heading upwards! 😄 Way to go for not letting the slower start discourage you!
Seriously, you're awesome, so I hope for both our sakes you keep the fab work! 🌟
Thank you!!!!
PS - I still want to finish "liking" and saying "thanks" on each one. I'll do it, in hopes it helps. ❤
Love the allusion to the lottery ticket.
Hi Joe. There are millions of videos about narcissism on the internet now. A shift happened in 2020 and people started waking up. I wonder what your predictions are for narcissists in a world where society has woken up to their games and puts heavy boundaries on them and doesn’t internalize any of their projections? When they are forced to roam around for supply but there is no one to be found that regulates their emotions? A world that is more PC and calls out the bullying and devaluing? What do you predict will happen to narcissists world wide?
@@maestro6894 exactly you said until you broke the cycle and trauma bond. What if people get so educated they put up boundaries for the trauma bonds to never form and never let the cycle begin in the first place. I’m talking about a society where the previously highly empathic becomes aware of narcissism and stops it in its tracts. What do narcissists do when nobody around them buys their patterns?
@@PrettyIndependent1 Dating sites provide an unlimited “supply” of new people to lie to and con. They’ll find someone, unfortunately. People are awakening to the narcissists all around us in public life now, you’re so right. It’s wonderful to see, but tragic that it’s necessary.
@@allysonpostelle9837 I feel like maybe this is what the meta verse is for. Narcissists will need to either a watch a ton of tv for supply. Films and movies to immerse themselves in so they feel like they are the lead character getting all the attention. Or live in a game world like the sims where they can write the scripts in advance of how their world will interact with them. They will want to download their consciousness and live in a fake world if they aren’t getting supply in the real world, If we reach a high vibrational conscious society that doesn’t put up with bullying, tantrums or emotional terrorism. They don’t like reality in the first place because that means accountability.
Narcissists will be forced to date each other once the rest of us get game.
@@livinggood6876 some already have. They just have kids and take the abuse out on them. You get scenarios like the parents in Matilda or the step family in Harry Potter.
@7:05 - The narc doesn't apologise. They move on rather easily. Whilst containing some truth, there is an element of make-believe to the uploader of this.
Oh they do but it’s not a sincere apology. It’s a part of hoovering if they’ve not found alternative sources of supply.
Yeah Narky will apologize if your supply was that good or they don't currently have much. It doesn't matter it's all BS fake I'm so sorry type..
A conversation with a guy I spoke to for a month and met a couple of times quickly turned sour and he said he couldn’t see a way forward, could I? I said I couldn’t, I knew I’d seen red flags and weirdness in his communication. The morning after, he was chatting as if the previous conversation hadn’t happened and got nasty when I didn’t instantly reply to his first message for hours after I’d been out with friends. I blocked him. He confessed he had spreadsheets with information about myself, my family, colleagues and friends! Scary obsessive behaviour.
The empath.
The narcissist.
The doorslam.
..... the (stop being so nice) clue. 😐
What about stalking you, harassing you and leaving hateful text and voice messages? Since I moved on I get battered with insults and threats. I blocked him, but the stuff still ends up in my blocked folder on my IPhone. I would like to see a video explaining why the narc is so angry with you when you got discarded and agreed to let him go.
You’re supposed to have a meltdown and beg them to come back.
Please watch Narc Con! She is amazing how she helps with all these questions....and give you answers.
You were suppose to be crying and begging him back for him to feel ALL POWERFUL ALL SUPERIOR. Did you forget your role/lines? Now Narky's pissed..
Their "love" is only a mirage. It was never real, nor can it be restored, as it never was in the first place. Was your love real? The answer is yes, but it was misplaced into someone who can not reciprocate the very love that you seek, as they lack the emotions to do so. Therefore you become a useful took for the narcissist to extract resources such as money, time, houses, cars, status, validation etc.
The sooner you realize this concept, the sooner you can heal and keep walking in the other direction. When you turn from their broken deceptive mirroring of you, and understanding their manipulations, the sooner you can heal from the trauma bond that they created to keep you enslaved to their shenanigans.
Hope this is a help to you. 😊❤😊
Learn to love yourself, learn red flags, heal from the trauma bond, and quit confusing lust (desire) from true love. They use lust as a weapon to suck you in, and they use your own love and devotion to them to keep you trapped. They understand how to use your emotions against you as mind control, keeping you in a state of confusion, until you finally figure out the game they're playing.
Unfortunately, they don't teach you this stuff in school, and quite frankly how many parents would have understood this stuff? 😊❤😊
Yup she moved in to my parents place and they try to get me to go back to her 😮
What kind of sick situation is this might I ask??? That doesn't even make sense...
@@user-qs5hz4mf3p yeah dude it’s pretty twisted they get along with her I believe they are narcs as well as they always disliked me I know my own parents and she plays victim as if I abandoned her and our sons so she moved in with them and they all call me and try to get me back in her life
12 hours after I planned on moving in with my NARC/BPD... She text " I literally don't have any reason to continue a relationship with you".
Never heard from her again. Very disturbing
Narky wants you begging and pleading. Did you forget your role/lines? Now Narky's hurt you've just caused a Nark injury did you know that. Narky needs a little time. Narky's going 2 come back around and ONE UP you...
@@user-qs5hz4mf3p been in no contact for almost 2 months. She hasn't cracked yet.
2:47
Im trying to understand the hoover
Go to Narc Con. She explains it😊
That's when Narky comes back around and starts the cycle all over again. (1) Love bombs (2) Devalue (3) Discard...
aye!!! speak for yourself, I’m 21 going on 16, I’m just a bit picky that’s all