90 percent of the time there are only two reasons an ex regrets a break up, either they fail to replace you or they made the decision based off of angry emotions. No contact will work up to a point but I don't think in 2023 we should be chasing, if the chase ain't mutual change the direction. Break ups are hard but if they broke up with you, they are the ones who should make things right by coming back and asking for another chance. Do not try to get them back, you would only be making yourself more stressed out and emotionally drained. Focus on you, heal and move on, it's won't be easy but trying to get your ex back in much harder. You are loved, you are worthy of love that doesn't require you fighting for it.
I have hope that our love will pile thru all of this and we come back out of this coming back together and stronger but I really need to start trying to have this mindset
Emotions are like waves indeed. I used to be very attached to my ex, even almost 2 years later when we met again and he tried to brag about his new girl and try to make me suffer, i still had strong feelings for him and thought i was never gonna recover from the pain, but my perspective changed when i started to realize that i was too good for him and better guys started aproaching me. Oh and i recently met a guy who managed to make me get over him completely by showing me how much he admires me and wants me in his life. Karma is real, just be patient.
You just met him. Lol Majority of people who said they have broke up with their ex and feels so much better on the new relationship is either delusional from the start, yes we all have honey moon phases, and that will end just like the new one. Come back 10 years later and see if it is better or you just got used to the new spouse, I'm sure there's still fights.
Be patient and stay away. Give them the experience of not being with you that they wanted so they know for sure if it was right or wrong decision. Time will tell how much you mean to them and how meant to be you both are together.
Breakup in 12/22 - I was very emotional as this opened past wounds (childhood trauma and stuff) - very rare contact. No contact from march to july, I broke it as I wanted to apologize for my toxic behavior which I realized within therapy sessions. She thanked me and asked me for advise as she is struggling with job issues but also told me she is not ready to have contact with me. So no contact again and focus on myself even though she appears a lot in my thoughts. Thanks to you coach and ur support I was able to work hard on myself and I am happier than ever in life! Still loving her so much, but the pain has no control anymore over me :) Much Love folks
Similar timeframe here, I went NC for three months (NC was totally my idea and she never said anything about it) but saw a 20-year old woman die in front of me on my 30th birthday. This triggered some revelations within me and I reached out in a similar manner as you: taking accountability for my wrongs and expressing empathy for her struggles that I had caused, all while not begging or asking for another chance. Sad part is, after this 8-year long relationship ended, my genuine apology was met with complete silence. Still no response a week later.
first, you should've never broke the no contact rule. second, you should've apologize face to face, after intimacy and not via text or on the phone. these are your two major mistakes, my friend. move on.
@@blacademic Hey, Coach Black, I lost my girlfriend in March this year. I begged and pleaded not just to her but to her family, too, as we were supposed to get married. (I know I shouldn't have begged) I have been in no contact for 3 months even as I go through the pain. I have been disciplined this last 3 months and have been 100% silent. My sister was worried about me, and yesterday, I messaged her and said "HI" without even talking to me about it. I feel like all the work I've done for 3 months is gone. What do you think?
@@blacademicHi Coach Blac....any video on On and Off LTR ...currently in No contact for the 5th time ..I was too kind and loving she took me for granted...
#Facts... Truth....hands down the best relationship video for breakups...Im living it...they come back...and if they don't...someone better will... trust the process...you WILL become a stronger person...#thanks Coach Blac #5🎤
Thank you coach. I would like to mention that my ex reached out to me after 2.5 months exactly. I have been watching your videos and have been working on myself. I never reached out to him during no contact. I really appreciate your valuable advice. Keep inspiring people like this. I'll keep following your words and videos coz they really help me with self development. Kudos to you ❤ 🙏🏼
Broke up 2 weeks ago, today. And we haven’t spoken a second since. Been very hard. I don’t know if they’re staying to themselves, although it’s what I would assume she’s doing. She’s never been the kind to just move on. I hurt her - I didn’t cheat or anything like that - but I wasn’t very attentive and for a very long period of time I was dragging her into the mess that is my life. And she supported me through all of it - when I failed a year at Uni, when my dad died etc. And I failed to acknowledge that I was causing her hurt by not reciprocating in ways when she was going through trials and tribulations. She means the world and more to me, and I’m trying to be better. So that if she comes back I can value her the way she deserves to be valued. I’m also very scared.
We been broken up for 13 years now. We was together for 5 years. We were both 18 when we got together and we broke up at age 23. We were young. The last time we talk was 2019 and he got in a relationship when they broke up he contacted me. I cut off contact then I reached back out then he got distant and said he don’t want to lead me on or play with my feelings but he ok with just being cool and I said ok. I sent him a inspiring video and went no contact every since then. I always said that a man that is unsure is not the one. I’m moving on with my life. I know what I want and I’m ready to receive the best man God has for me.
I use this metaphore: You might be okay with the idea of missing the bus telling yourself you'll take the next, but when you realize that there won't be another bus that's a whole different story.
I've had my ups and downs since the break up(10/21). I've accepted that fact she is in a new relationship. Matter of fact she has been with him for over a year. However I hate the breadcrumbing. Since March my ex has been calling and texting me. She reached out to me on every holiday. During this time, she asked me "Have I thought about her doing the break-up?" This is the funny thing, I recently had a BDAY but this Great Human Being(sarcasm) don't reach out. Matter of I haven't heard from her two weeks. I have myself to blame!! No longer will I allow this BS to happen. I'm done with her!!
We broke up 1.5 years ago. I've been in no contact since. Just a week ago, I get a request from IG. I decided to add him back. Didn't reach out. I noticed he's looking at my stories. He hasn't made the move to contact me. Thanks coach for your daily reminders to stay strong and to not contact him.
Essentially my wife lost emotional connection with me a long time ago and we broke up for a bit last year. I worked on myself and she was meeting new people doing her own thing even got close with guy for a bit. Eventually we got back together later last year and that lasted a handful months and in April we separated again. In the beginning of this month while still living together I confronted her about texting guys which was a bit insecure since we weren't together just living in the same house and that led to her moving out with our daughters. She said she didn't feel safe with me emotionally. We both agreed we had some healing and growing to do on our own. I realized I have an anxious attachment style that grew due to the relationship she had with that one guy last year and at times I would assume worst and it would come out and wasn't healthy for our relationship. Having kids no contact is literally impossible but I have to allow her this time to be on her own without pursuing her so if I message her is strictly about the kids. Is there any advice you can give me? Thank you!
My Ex and I have minimal contact. He wants to still be friends but he doesn't act like it. We were in a 7yr relationship that he dumped me like a big coward over the phone. Saud he wanted to do his own thing. He joined several dating sites, went out on dates, is still very active on social media with the ladies. When he does have to interact with me because we do work together occasionally, he treats me like I'm beneath him. I think sometimes from what I've heard from his family, that he's realized the grass isn't greener on the other side. So I'm keeping to myself trying to just block him out of my thoughts....it's hard when you used to have a great life with thus person and they were your best friend, But all influences from friends changed that. I want to thank you for posting your videos, They really help me. God bless 💗
I understand but each and every day will get better I promise you...Go do something with yourself like dates by yourself walk in the park,gym go back to school.Whatever it is and please stop communicating with families and friends that you all had together.. Don't go in places where you think he be at untill you almost healed..It's not going to be easy at all... And I mean please please do not contact him at all.
My ex broke up with me 6 months ago and since that day she has every weekend a new dude . That confirmed to me she has no self value in herself and just trying to run away from her problems away cause she stepped into our relationship with her previous ex bf problems and now she took that and the problems which she created in our relationship and mess up more dudes she's just getting ran through so disgusting that I loved this person before . Even when she comes back one day maybe , no thank you your not wife material to me
Coach I automatically spike the like button before you have even started. It relaxes me always and thanks for doing this. While it’s true I am in the midst of a breakup after 9 years, I feel better every day and I have learned a lot thru you. Mostly I have learned that this time is about my growth to the best version of me every day as the only way thru and it’s been my focus listening to you. You reinforce it and I feel better than I would have expected if someone told me beforehand my girl was going to drop me😊 Glad I found this…best to you.😎
she broke up with me............. i'ma need you to lie down with that L for the rest of your days because.... clearly you bet against the house. and yeah I respected it, you were 100% right. But it's all good, see, by you doing this level of heartbreak. it's pushed me to start my own youth drop-in center, get published, become recognized as a state trainer, endorsed by 2 famous worldwide UA-cam personalities. get the body I want, finally get inked into what I want to look like. Because of you, it confirmed me never chasing or begging anyone to be in the life since I'm the prize and the pedestal is where I belong. see it's all good because since the grass is greener on the other side, go lie down there with the new boo and new people. besides...there's 8 billion people in this world, so on a statistics number that's 80,000 possible combinations for you to continue to explore. you asked me who hurt me, and ya know...i gotta credit you with doing the exact same thing since I'm finally becoming the man that I know will be.
I am in love with her same thing I used to chase her on night time not knowing where she at drunk I stop gambling 100 days ago she start making negative comments to me. I made a big scene out of it. She packed up her stuff and left after six years together but this is not the first time her leaving. I haven’t talk to him three days.
I honestly just feel defeated and don't really care much any more. I'm so tired of giving my energy to such a despicable person. I loved him with every ounce of me but I'm so tired it being one sided. I'm becoming indifferent.
Great video coach. Very insightful! I dont think she’ll ever come back. Left me and then 3 months later she is with an ex of her past. We have a daughter so no contact isnt an option amd their relationship is clearly a slow one. So i do fear her grass is in fact greener! It’s been about 10 months since she left and i seem to battling myself! I want to move on and show her what she’s missing out but im battling myself where in fact in the one who is missing out as i know what this new guy is experiencing😢 defoo the hardest thing i e ever experienced and just want it over now. Either with her or without her 😢
One month in. No contact. The only place she's not blocked is email. Since leaving me, she's emailed twice asking questions and saying she needs a hug. I only respond in 2-3 word sentences. Definitely not what she's hoping to hear. I do get lonely and miss her at times, but then I think about how toxic she was treating me and how I'm over it. The most unforgivable thing she's done by leaving is telling me to stay away from her family and grandkids. To me, there are never a great deal of positive male role models in these kids' lives, how can she cut this one out completely? I think she's finally splashed in the stream in an attempt to find the giant dog bone... 😂😂😂 Thank you so much for helping me to view the situation from all angles. I truly have an edge on the situation with you COACH BLAC, in my corner. ❤️❤️❤️
I don’t know how I landed here but anyways here it goes.It’s been about 6 months since the break up and I’m doing really well. My ex cheated on me so many times including with his ex (that’s engaged) and one of his models (as he’s a videographer) which they are dating now. Honestly when I found out they were together I was hurt because he told me he didn’t want a relationship or commitment anymore also after I had forgiven him for his mistakes and a few months later he was dating this model. I did what I could to be the best girlfriend I could but unfortunately he didn’t see it as he wanted the fast life. I hope he realizes what he lost and when he does it will be too late 😅
Thank you coach you really helped me through my phase of no contact jsut learning to get back to myself and you were right they do come back after jo contact It took him a week to come back :) I’m trying to be better in the relationship with him not lie and set up boundaries thank you for these videos i think I would’ve went crazy calling and texting Instead of no contact and making them miss me keeep these videos coming can you do one on how to react when they do come back from no contact
Been broken up for almost 3 months now. She got into a rebound only WEEKS after the breakup with one of her male friends! Seems like she's still in the relief stage, maybe permanently gone??
Thank you so much sir. I know I'll get someone better than my ex. He manipulated me into staying. I just broke up with him 10 days back. You are helping me immensely. But it might take years to find the one.. And i am already 32...it's scary.
I keep praying always no matter the outcome. I just truly want to become a better person and man from this because I never wanted to breakup with her and I care for her I was attached part of me still has feelings for her but part of me knows I have to move on as she did it seems like
I dont know anything about my ex. He reached out once and claimed he didn't care about the person he was with, and I just advised him to be real with her. Even though I informed him that I was talking to someone, well, that didn't last long. God had to show me that he wasn't for me. I guess my ex is happy. Your videos are encouraging and motivational. I've learned to move on and let God direct my path
I did everything for her the best I could with the resources I had. She left me last month. She originally left me last year one week before thanksgiving. I took her back immediately after she wanted to come back 3 days after leaving me. Fast forward to last month, she decided to walk out on me and left me high and dry. She kept making me feel like I wasn’t doing good enough in our relationship, but truth is, I tried my best to make her feel loved. I knows she going out now and partying and living her “fun single life” but it hurts because part of me wants her back and some nights are so hard being alone without her. What do I do? I want to keep going no contact but I always think of her and the good she did in our relationship.
Honestly after getting cheated on and used while getting gaslit at the end has changed my perspective on love i honestly dont want anymore relationships ive totally given up on just trying to find one woman just one its too much to risk 😔 im sorry but ive given up on love i just want genuine friends thats it
Coach Blac.. I hear you… but this shit hurts.. My ex wife and I have 3 children and we still live together.. we tried to reconcile and things were going well.. so I thought we gel so well… I rolled up my sleeves and saved the house I helped with the house chores and paid the mortgage and put food on in the house.. 8 months on solidness even her mom was was telling me how great I’m doing.. then boom it’s over???? It’s been about 30 days.. my thing is this we don’t want the same thing.. I was a meaningful productive relationship. She says she just wants to co parent.. under the same roof… so that’s stopping me from getting me a relationship with a woman who will value me.. don’t get me wrong I do love her but if she doesn’t want me then let me find someone who is fit for me… why won’t she move out/ on???
Me and my ex were supposed to be taking a “brake” but ended up with a new guy. This new guy had to leave his 14 year relationship to be with my ex and it’s only been a week. Now she’s saying “he’s perfect for her” and that we will never be together again. We have 7 years and kids. People are just disgusting and hurtful. He left his family to be with a girl that has so many different mental illnesses like ptsd and bipolar disorder and depression. She says they aren’t together but our son told me they were and he wasn’t allowed to tell me. Now I haven’t talked to him in a week
Coach I made a mistake 4yrs with my baby's father off n on he's way younger than me we broke up again for 2 months I saw he was doing good not looking for me I had to reach out to him got back again broke up recently for dumb reasons very immature very narcissistic person I tried talking to him I got his family talking to him and nothing he's never on the wrong but I see your videos you're helping me so much with this heartbroken. Ty coach 🙏
Yes this is why he says after he dumped me he wants too be my friend. 3 years we were together I could not accept for a year I begged Now I been doing no contact He came back 2 days of lovie dovie crap not 2 days of bread crumbs I’m pissed doing the mirror technique on him one word like he does me Now I will stop replying I hope haha I am getting stronger I do love him but really realizing his ugly ways I can’t keep Makin excuses for his horrible ways🙏🙏
Been single 3 months no contact a month now.Had to break it before that due to him needing his stuff back and also his mum saying she hopes we can sort it out in time and that I should msg 😅 didn't go well he went from crying saying I'm the most beautiful girl in the world in May after break up to Jul 6th saying he can't see it working as we have fall outs.We was together 5 years lived together a year amd I'm his first kiss first everything I had to teach him alot he lacked maturity and set in some not good ways.I helped him grow alot and supported him.We had a big fall out at the end over him staying up gaming and porn which he didn't even get off too just had ocd looking at it it was too much we had the fight he moved out.I still wanted to try as there was lots of good despite those things.Suddenly he changed his mind saying he can't trust we won't fall out again.4 weeks after we split he's on dating sites 3 months later he's looking me up on social media but no contact.Ive just joined dating scene but more to see what's out there not ready to move on yet.I got this gut feeling he will reach out once I'm out of those feelings 😬 we can't do anything but move forward painful or not and put love back into areselfs
Well, I’m drunk and a lot of stuff happened tonight. She doesn’t know I’m drunk we went No contact tonight. I’ve been watching your videos for a while and planning on it. I just hope I’m not just doing it because I’m drunk. I hope it just gave me the courage to do it but I hope she realizes what she’s missing out on. I know it’s gonna be a while, but like you said, who knows what if I find better what if I can do better only time will tell.
I ended things after she started moving funny, acting hot & cold. Something in my gut told me I had to let her go even though it’s not what I wanted… few weeks later she was in a new relationship. After I had asked her if there was someone else. She lied, made me feel like shit for ending our relationship, said she was mad at me. But already had a replacement! It makes no sense! It’s been 6 months NC. And 5 months since she’s been with this new person, recently posting pictures together. I have blocked them from everything! I even changed my #! She has no way contact me! Sometimes I wonder if she’s reached out but I guess I’ll never know now! The level of disrespect was enough for me to never want them back… I’m still in love with her but I have more self respect for myself now. Thank you coach for you words. I’m focused on becoming the best version of my self and although I’m struggling I’m not folding… I definitely plan to book a session with you soon! God Bless! 💯
It’s been 4 mos since I moved out. He said he wanted to live alone. He didn’t like who he was becoming. He also didn’t want to work at it. He gave me 30 days to move and I left in 6 w/o telling him. Just moved all my stuff from the house while he was at work. With a note he is now at peace and take care. This is our 3rd break up. Last time we were apart for a year and he came back saying he worked on himself, but I learned now that we just went thru the same stuff. Not sure where he is as he blocked me from social media 2 mos after breakup.
Coach pls help, Im currently on my phase where ex gf is reaching out for dates but keeps going cold after for about 2 weeks ? Apart from kisses we haven’t done the deed since break up but tells me on date that we will get back together one day ??
I'm no expert, but it sounds like your ex is keeping you as an option while seeing other people. It seems as though she knows your love is easy and not much has changed about you. Put a price on your validation and show her she has to earn your attention. Go no contact and focus on actually improving areas of your life that need to be improved. You have more value than you realize.
@@nicroberson4346 thanks for advice much appreciated! I dont think shes seeing anyone as i would of heard but possibly keeping me an option , should i give ultimatum going forward or move on?
@@mallynl3239 I wouldn't give an ultimatum because they are manipulative and moving on is something you're not going to do at this stage in the breakup. Without knowing the exact details of the situation I'd recommend you redirect your attention to something that will improve that quality of your life. Don't ignore your feelings during this time because it's okay to reflect, but don't obsess. Give yourself love and grace. When she reaches out don't be so willing to accommodate her needs. Without saying it let her feel that you been reflecting whether you two are compatible. She will be the one insisting on a relationship or seeing you more frequently and inevitably she will bring up the conversation of a relationship. You can decide at that point if you want to try again.
My Ex acted like we weren't even together. She was emotionally unavailable and never asked about my kids.....then she git mad I broke up with her and went off on me, telling me about myself. Now she acts like everything is cool with all my coworkers, but I have been in no contact for almost a month now. She unfriended me on snap as well lol.smh
Its been 100 days since my ex gf broke up with me. I dont know whats the reason and I never asked.. she says our relationship is beyond repair and she couldn't take it anymore. I responded "OK" and blocked her on whatsapp. She also blocked me. I dont have any social media and I dont care about validation. People say im stone cold. She eventually goes into a rebound in a matter of days after the break up. It was a recent friend. So sleazy and disrespectful. I had sleepless nights at first but now its better. I dont care anymore and I know, im worth so much more 😊
We broke up end of Feb and spent the next couple of months where early on he would initiate contact but the end I was doing all the initiating and only get random replies. Went no contact end of April and haven't heard from him since. He's a FA and leans dismissive so I didn't really expect contact right away so i spent time focusing on me. Lost 30 lbs, finished my degree program and am living life. I would like to try again but it takes two to tango as they say and I am not inclined to break no contact just because I have no idea where he could be emotionally. Feel like I need him to initiate at this point otherwise we will be stuck in a cycle of break up, make up and repeat. What do you think?
Why did you wait until AFTER the breakup to lose 30 pounds and “living your life”. These are things you should have been doing anyway, ESPECIALLY taking care of yourself physically!
I had started on the road to physical fitness and he and I actually did some of that together. Losing the 30 after was just me keeping it up and building on what I had already started. Living my life was also something I had been doing during the relationship but since I have more time now that i don't have to set aside time i would have done things with himI am doing more new things sooner. @@lorrainea.285
Ex told me im working on myself sex was not important to her . Then i found out she is back dealing with this guy that is only wit her cause of sex but when me her was together she said that s all i wanted when had been together for yrs .
My ex is currently going out and has started using bumble to meet new people, but does not want anything exclusive with anyone. It seems like she is just wanting to feel a sense of independence. We both did no contact, but it only lasted for a week. We then met and had a date. The date went well and we plan for another. She used to feel like I did not give enough genuine effort so I stopped by to bring her some flowers and she was not home so I left them by her door the next morning I woke up to my phone number being blocked when I asked why she said it was because I came by her house without asking permission and it made her uncomfortable which I understand. I did get a little anxious and needy from that because I was just trying to do something nice. She told me that she needs a little time for herself and I have not responded. It seems like she wants to move on, or has moved on but for some reason she can’t let go of me fully. Her and I had an amazing connection and a great relationship until I did something that hurt her trust. I love this girl and see her having a place in my life. I’m just trying to level up and respect her distance because I do not want to push her any further away.
We’ve been split for a month and a half. I begged and chase the first three weeks then applied no contact. She reached out in seven days then the following three weeks she reached out every two days and was sending a lot of mixed signals an example being jealous, flirtatious, and such, now yesterday I kind of jumped the gun and started chasing again and she told me that she thinks of me as a friend. I told her today that I’m not interested in being friends should I just have continued to play it cool or did I do the right thing when she dropped the friend word?
I'm in a similar situation although my person in a relationship with someone. I was no contact w/ her for a couple weeks until she broke it. She randomly reached out and I believe there's turmoil in her relationship which has caused to reminisce on what we had. Turns out she was having problems. We chatted consistently on early parts of the day last week. In some of those conversations she would validate, flirt, use word of affirmation, and show a ton affection. Similar to you, I started jumping the gun and started to chase. Now, fast forward to this week radio silence. Now I'm left with mixed signals and confusion. From my pov it seems like things are going well in her relationship again and there's no need for me until problems occur. That I was just being used for attention and emotional support. Basically I'm just the guy who's there just in case her relationship fails. I share this because I'm not saying your lady is mirroring these exact actions that I'm experiencing, but she could be using you in some capacity. I thinks it's best you strip that away and take your power back! She doesn't deserve to have access to you. It's all or nothing. Anyways, to answer your question I think its best to continue to set boundaries for yourself. You made the right choice by establishing you don't want to be friends. I feel that same way in my situation. It's extremely challenging to accept being friends with someone who you were once intimate with. By doing this it forces her to a make decision on trying to work things out with you or missing out on you all together. I would advise being no contact and prioritize yourself and what's important in your life. Control what you can control you know? Even though you want her, you don't need her. Allow your absence to bring her back to with the intent of making amends for the better. If it's meant to be, it will always be. Trust and believe that. Keep your head up bro. I hope things play out in your favor
@@quinnencalade i appreciate the feedback man, im under the assumption that she is seeing someone else. Even though when we flirt i say some crazy stuff that she gets off too and 2 weeks ago she begged me to come over and have sex which i did but it only seemed to make things worse as she told me with how she was feeling after she shouldnt talk to me for awhile. Then proceeded to reach out 2 days later… asking for pics of me because she knows i been hitting the gym and drooling over them. I think shes feeling herself knowing that shes talking to another guy/guys but still got a improved version of myself. Ive been good with the no contact, i dont feel the need to reach out at all but she seems like she cant stay away so well see what happens now that i established some boundaries.
Let her go ... trust me, work hard on yourself. Not 2 weeks, or a month, this takes time. Take your time 2 really heal. You feel deep down inside when you are ready. Never ever think this can work out 2 love, yes it can, but than take time for working on you ❤ Much love from Amsterdam
I am in NC for one month. But unfortunatelly i was monkey branched, and i was shocked when my gf said before out hollyday together, sorry, i have someone for two weeks. Good bye. I felt as hit my head and still feel the same.
My ex has canceled on our plans all month of August (including 2 that she came up with) yet likes all my posts and stories. She just stopped contacting me first this week. She only initiated when i was in colombia 7 days ago. I suspect she is talking to someone new already, i just wish she would tell me straight up instead of playing games with my head.
I gave my ex to much validation and now I backed away he said that he misses me and thinks about me a lot but wants to figure out what he wants I am now in no contact with him again and not sure on what I should do
What if, I am the one asking my ex to forget about me& to delete/block my number? But now I regret my decision , how do I get him back when he blocked me?
Type and duration of the relationship: 1.6 years, long distance, very deep relationship with future planned out, families involved Duration since the break up: 2 months 2 weeks Contact: yes, almost daily, via email Reason: on a sugar rush because of sudden changes in life, such as first job, new friends, partying, alcohol and a never seen exposure Reason she gives: For the first 2 months excuses, now says “my feelings faded, idk how and why, but I don’t have feelings anymore, I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone either, i am sorry, it’s my mistake, but i just wanna focus on my job and support my parents financially” Mistakes i have made since the breakup: Angry outbursts, constantly asking for an explanation since she didn’t give anything for the first 2 months! Her parents: Don’t support her decision, very sad with her decision as well as her present lifestyle, they agree with me, they want me back. Ps, there is no third guy.
My ex filed for divorce and served me she's talking to a guy now that's married with 5 kids, after I got served I took some stuff and moved away for a while it's been 2 weeks gone and she messages be about stuff for the house that I'm pretty sure she already knows how to do by herself. I'm doing no contract as much as possible i only reply if she messages me.
Hi Coach blac , i seriously need your opinion on this : Its been 1.20 months since she left . We were together for 6 years since 11th standard and were in long distance since last year . We had multiple occasions where we used to fight but after 2-3 months come back together . Since the breakup i didnt contacted her (but on the day of our breakup i cried and told her to come back ) . And one week ago she texted me that she is in a new relationship n that she has moved on . But she didnt unfollowed or blocked me , our comments are still there on each other posts . And i am confused about what do i need to do . Should i need to block her or let it be this way . Should i keep her in the following to see my music posts which i'll drop sooner to get her attention? I dont know if its a rebound or she monkey branched me , but i started seeing her behaviour changing 2-3 months back . I WANT HER BACK ASAP , what should i do ?
@blacademic What happens if the ex came back after NC of 4 months, we met and i followed your advice. All was good. Then we met on a second date and i just happened to lightly ask about the other woman because of whom we had broken up. He got angry and walked away again saying these resentments are still there. Now what? Do you think he will come back again if i go NC again?
Why did he get so easily annoyed,he is only back because he lost her......where is the commitment if he snaps at you like that after everything......you deserve better
@@leratoseretsi5603 thanks! Yes I think so too, but I am still in love with him. Hope time will heal soon. I am again in NC, and I hope I don't give in if he comes back the second time.
My ex is partying as she always was. But I’ve heard that she’s been talking smack about me almost nonstop. (No contact 4/5 months.) I feel that she’s just doing it so she doesn’t have to face her feelings, but what do you think?
Absolutely, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. If she truly doesn't care, she would put you into the past but if she's still smacktalking you to others she clearly misses you, but just doesn't want to admit it to herself. I would resume NC as normal as this is something she has to figure out for herself, any casual chat or even worse, "can we talk", will just push her further away into her denial and be more certain that the breakup was the right thing to do. I am not the expert here however, so take my words with a grain of salt. Coach Lee here on youtube has great videos regarding breakups and getting back together, just like Coach Blac. They, among many other people I've checked out, are firm believers that no contact is the best way to get an ex back, if you even want them back, cause NC is all about focusing on yourself and improving all aspects of yourself as a person. Stay strong 💪
I got dumped, we got a place together then she got a job in another state I helped her move and set up her stuff and got dumped a month after was devastated then I started focusing on myself got a promotion at my job I’ve been keeping to myself with some hope she’ll return but that’s been fading away I move out of the place we got in a few days
My husband left 3weeks ago we've seen each other and talked but is been all me reaching out. I'm starting to feel like a fool . I'm so stressed the fuck out I don't know what to do with myself. We've been married 17 years, I just don't understand why he want come home. I'm leaving him along now and going to gave him his space. But my heart is broken I can't keep going on like this.
It has been 4 months. After the first month of no contact she called me and wanted to be friends while she was with a rebound secretly. When I found out I went no contact again. She breadcrumbs me throughout tried telling me the rebound is over. Tried to make me an emotional crutch. Brings up the past whenever I stand up for myself and set boundaries. She stalks my social media every single day since. Reacts to my stories and posts. After 11 years together l, we share a God son. And after being cut out of his life she is finally offering me the chance to see my godson. Tomorrow. Idk if I should do this for him or let them all go for good because I have respect for myself. She's always trying to reach out randomly to check on me and tell me she's hurting and she doesn't admit she made a mistake or try to fix things I don't have time for her. She left me if that wasn't clear, and she had her mind made up yet tells me all the things she lost by losing me and tells me I'm so different now. I wanted her back and now everyday that passes I'm slipping away from that fantasy
My ex gf is now living with her kids dad and pregnant again a year after our breakup. But she’s been seeing me all this time and still says she’s in love with me. We broke up in the first place cuz she told me she was having thoughts of making it work with him so they could have a “traditional family.” I’m a woman so she didn’t know if she could live that lifestyle. Yet she won’t let me go and gets jealous of other women around me
Let them do the party let you do the work! Work hard my friend, work really hard on yourself and don't be afraid to be alone. 🙏🌱 When you ready rhe right person is ready ❤
Hey, Coach Black, I lost my girlfriend in March this year. I begged and pleaded not just to her but to her family, too, as we were supposed to get married. (I know I shouldn't have begged) I have been in no contact for 3 months even as I go through the pain. I have been disciplined this last 3 months and have been 100% silent. My sister was worried about me, and yesterday, I messaged her and said "HI" without even talking to me about it. I feel like all the work I've done for 3 months is gone. What do you think?
@@thechosenone2758 that's really unfortunate, she should have spoken to you first, but you should focus on moving on. If it's supposed to be she'll return or you'll meet an even greater version of yourself
@thechosenone2758 Your work is not wasted because you showed strength and resilience....this greeting is also not a disadvantage because if it doesn't bear any fruit your heart will accept the reality but I wish you well with or without her.
My baby father broke up with me a couple months ago and then I found out that his new girlfriend is a nurse and she is going to college. He told me that he dont have anywhere to sleep for the night and i put him up because apparently his new girl live with her mom. We ended up having sex that night and then the very next day he said that he feel guilty. I felt so hurt i can't sleep, eat and am crying all the time. Please i would love some advise at this time.
Some how don't see that she put it all over Facebook she is with someone else only been apart 6 months married 11 years and 16 years together yes it now makes me feel worthless and just taking the piss out of me all over Facebook my friends seen this not me so now even worse
3rd Time septated with my wife First two times 6 months apart we both tried to change but not full let go of our past third time now current situation 8 months separated I've been trying to force it and it's getting worse she wants space and she said she's done she's wants space but she's also wants me too take care of all her bills I've just recently been blocked for a week so I stopped giving her money and now she unblocked me but now I'm doing the no contact and it's hard but I really don't want to lose her more then I've already lost her
Coach, what if the dumpee ignores the attempts from the dumper for reconciliation within 3 hours of the breakup? I haven’t heard from her in a month she has ignored my messages I brokeup in the heat of the moment over text it was a rash impulsive decision. I apologized and more I stopped reaching out after I sent my 4th message which an I miss you text it was paragraph or so. It’s been a month of no contact and a month since the breakup I miss her but I’m in the acceptance stage after a couple of weeks of the breakup. I’ve gone into therapy, started my own journal, focusing on the personal growth staying off social media we still have each other on social media she hasn’t taken me off it yet which caught me off guard. But seeing her on there was painful enough already and to really focus on changing for myself to become a better person and man from this breakup.
We broke up for 3 months already. Then she sent me an email and asking me. If i am okay etc. and we talked about the unsettled bill we had before. And nothing happen. I will go back to no contact and detox from socmed
Hi All...can anyone advise me please..Dating a lady for 5months ..we had some issues.all of a sudden she wants space and a break....we live separately. She calls and texts abd video calls.What does this mean..I am a middle age man but so confused.I love her but her feelings are not the same.Please assist in any manner.God Bless 😢
Coach blac, it seems things ain't working out, she's asking for friendship of which I don't. What should I do then all she's saying is, she ain't interested in relationship now...she even blamed me for me been the cause of the breakup, accusing me off me dating her friend, some female friends of mine....I'm confused
If I had done all those things like messaging her, calling her, tell her that I missed her and so on that should not done after the break up, what should I do now? Kindly fix it
sir ur voice is really healing i no more chasing after so much chase did no contact work after chasing alsoo i want to know? love for ur work from india..
Coach, my ex got into a rebound and that rebound dumped her but she has developed an anxious attachment with him and hence she is pursuing him now...what can be done?
My ex sleeps with the woman he was sleeping before our relationship. Sais he can't have sex with me because it creates a bond and responsibility and he wants to stay away from that. Sais he needs to learn to love himself first before he can love someone selflessly again(he is divorced and has a 3 year old son). I don't know what to do! He broke up at the end of january. Then started communicating with me in april. Had sex 3 times since then. Watches my stories. Smiles and talks to me when we meet(we live in the same apt building). I feel very helpless and do not know what to attempt or to do....🤦♀️
Well what if you aint know yall wasn't together anymore until u called over something else that's wen he said it.i wasn't nothing but good to him no bad times together
He is making his way to come back to me but i don't feel like having him back,ive received messages from him which doesn't belong to me and i know that even hes trying to come back but he is still contact with her
Coach great video, definitely agree! After a few months of NC my ex randomly called last week, I just missed the call, called back and got sent to voicemail with a text saying she didn't mean to call. I eventually responded with a liked message and "no problem." I imagine she's somewhere between curiosity and standing on her decision to breakup. Any thoughts? My approach now is to continue doubling down on my self-improvement and staying in NC.
@@danilaroche1156 I won’t know until we talk again. She wanted to be alone, things I did bothered her, she felt she is at a point in life where she wants to he selfish, were things she said during the breakup. 2 year relationship.
Damm man someone just ended things with me. We were dating for 2 weeks, just cause of age gap I’d be interested to see if these things work after seeing someone for a short period of time
Female leaves open access. Like when I broke up with somebody I do move I change my phone number I deactivate my social media and another name that he don't know so he would not find me tell the person he chose over me he's going to have to suffer to stay with that female
90 percent of the time there are only two reasons an ex regrets a break up, either they fail to replace you or they made the decision based off of angry emotions. No contact will work up to a point but I don't think in 2023 we should be chasing, if the chase ain't mutual change the direction. Break ups are hard but if they broke up with you, they are the ones who should make things right by coming back and asking for another chance. Do not try to get them back, you would only be making yourself more stressed out and emotionally drained. Focus on you, heal and move on, it's won't be easy but trying to get your ex back in much harder. You are loved, you are worthy of love that doesn't require you fighting for it.
I have hope that our love will pile thru all of this and we come back out of this coming back together and stronger but I really need to start trying to have this mindset
@@noah-zMe to bro. Me to bro, I’m claiming this positive energy🙏🏾
Thank you I needed to hear that
Agreed!!! Thank you. Mine was the second choice & she refused to communicate & just walked. That was 4 years ago.
If I waw the problem then I will try again later on
Emotions are like waves indeed. I used to be very attached to my ex, even almost 2 years later when we met again and he tried to brag about his new girl and try to make me suffer, i still had strong feelings for him and thought i was never gonna recover from the pain, but my perspective changed when i started to realize that i was too good for him and better guys started aproaching me. Oh and i recently met a guy who managed to make me get over him completely by showing me how much he admires me and wants me in his life. Karma is real, just be patient.
U was never his den🤔❄️..
Thank you, that gives me hope.
My ex appreciated me until he didn't. Some men are just so unstable and liars.
Yup
You just met him. Lol Majority of people who said they have broke up with their ex and feels so much better on the new relationship is either delusional from the start, yes we all have honey moon phases, and that will end just like the new one. Come back 10 years later and see if it is better or you just got used to the new spouse, I'm sure there's still fights.
Be patient and stay away. Give them the experience of not being with you that they wanted so they know for sure if it was right or wrong decision. Time will tell how much you mean to them and how meant to be you both are together.
Breakup in 12/22 - I was very emotional as this opened past wounds (childhood trauma and stuff) - very rare contact. No contact from march to july, I broke it as I wanted to apologize for my toxic behavior which I realized within therapy sessions. She thanked me and asked me for advise as she is struggling with job issues but also told me she is not ready to have contact with me. So no contact again and focus on myself even though she appears a lot in my thoughts. Thanks to you coach and ur support I was able to work hard on myself and I am happier than ever in life! Still loving her so much, but the pain has no control anymore over me :) Much Love folks
Similar timeframe here, I went NC for three months (NC was totally my idea and she never said anything about it) but saw a 20-year old woman die in front of me on my 30th birthday. This triggered some revelations within me and I reached out in a similar manner as you: taking accountability for my wrongs and expressing empathy for her struggles that I had caused, all while not begging or asking for another chance.
Sad part is, after this 8-year long relationship ended, my genuine apology was met with complete silence. Still no response a week later.
Proud of you my friend! Keep growing and improving
first, you should've never broke the no contact rule. second, you should've apologize face to face, after intimacy and not via text or on the phone. these are your two major mistakes, my friend. move on.
@@blacademic Hey, Coach Black, I lost my girlfriend in March this year. I begged and pleaded not just to her but to her family, too, as we were supposed to get married. (I know I shouldn't have begged)
I have been in no contact for 3 months even as I go through the pain. I have been disciplined this last 3 months and have been 100% silent. My sister was worried about me, and yesterday, I messaged her and said "HI" without even talking to me about it. I feel like all the work I've done for 3 months is gone. What do you think?
@@blacademicHi Coach Blac....any video on On and Off LTR ...currently in No contact for the 5th time ..I was too kind and loving she took me for granted...
Let them figure it out while you figure you out!
#Facts... Truth....hands down the best relationship video for breakups...Im living it...they come back...and if they don't...someone better will... trust the process...you WILL become a stronger person...#thanks Coach Blac #5🎤
Thank you coach. I would like to mention that my ex reached out to me after 2.5 months exactly. I have been watching your videos and have been working on myself. I never reached out to him during no contact. I really appreciate your valuable advice. Keep inspiring people like this. I'll keep following your words and videos coz they really help me with self development. Kudos to you ❤ 🙏🏼
Broke up 2 weeks ago, today. And we haven’t spoken a second since.
Been very hard. I don’t know if they’re staying to themselves, although it’s what I would assume she’s doing. She’s never been the kind to just move on.
I hurt her - I didn’t cheat or anything like that - but I wasn’t very attentive and for a very long period of time I was dragging her into the mess that is my life. And she supported me through all of it - when I failed a year at Uni, when my dad died etc. And I failed to acknowledge that I was causing her hurt by not reciprocating in ways when she was going through trials and tribulations.
She means the world and more to me, and I’m trying to be better. So that if she comes back I can value her the way she deserves to be valued.
I’m also very scared.
Thank you for this video, this made me feel a lot better. I am not some trash to throw away. I hope he realizes it one day.
We been broken up for 13 years now. We was together for 5 years. We were both 18 when we got together and we broke up at age 23. We were young. The last time we talk was 2019 and he got in a relationship when they broke up he contacted me. I cut off contact then I reached back out then he got distant and said he don’t want to lead me on or play with my feelings but he ok with just being cool and I said ok. I sent him a inspiring video and went no contact every since then. I always said that a man that is unsure is not the one. I’m moving on with my life. I know what I want and I’m ready to receive the best man God has for me.
I use this metaphore: You might be okay with the idea of missing the bus telling yourself you'll take the next, but when you realize that there won't be another bus that's a whole different story.
Spot on as usual - only wish I would have had access to your videos 4 years ago
Thanks for watching! Glad you are here now 🤞🏿
I've had my ups and downs since the break up(10/21). I've accepted that fact she is in a new relationship. Matter of fact she has been with him for over a year.
However I hate the breadcrumbing. Since March my ex has been calling and texting me. She reached out to me on every holiday. During this time, she asked me "Have I thought about her doing the break-up?"
This is the funny thing, I recently had a BDAY but this Great Human Being(sarcasm) don't reach out. Matter of I haven't heard from her two weeks.
I have myself to blame!! No longer will I allow this BS to happen. I'm done with her!!
We broke up 1.5 years ago. I've been in no contact since. Just a week ago, I get a request from IG. I decided to add him back. Didn't reach out. I noticed he's looking at my stories. He hasn't made the move to contact me. Thanks coach for your daily reminders to stay strong and to not contact him.
Essentially my wife lost emotional connection with me a long time ago and we broke up for a bit last year. I worked on myself and she was meeting new people doing her own thing even got close with guy for a bit. Eventually we got back together later last year and that lasted a handful months and in April we separated again. In the beginning of this month while still living together I confronted her about texting guys which was a bit insecure since we weren't together just living in the same house and that led to her moving out with our daughters. She said she didn't feel safe with me emotionally. We both agreed we had some healing and growing to do on our own. I realized I have an anxious attachment style that grew due to the relationship she had with that one guy last year and at times I would assume worst and it would come out and wasn't healthy for our relationship. Having kids no contact is literally impossible but I have to allow her this time to be on her own without pursuing her so if I message her is strictly about the kids. Is there any advice you can give me? Thank you!
Naïveté is the word
My Ex and I have minimal contact. He wants to still be friends but he doesn't act like it. We were in a 7yr relationship that he dumped me like a big coward over the phone. Saud he wanted to do his own thing. He joined several dating sites, went out on dates, is still very active on social media with the ladies. When he does have to interact with me because we do work together occasionally, he treats me like I'm beneath him. I think sometimes from what I've heard from his family, that he's realized the grass isn't greener on the other side. So I'm keeping to myself trying to just block him out of my thoughts....it's hard when you used to have a great life with thus person and they were your best friend, But all influences from friends changed that. I want to thank you for posting your videos, They really help me. God bless 💗
I understand but each and every day will get better I promise you...Go do something with yourself like dates by yourself walk in the park,gym go back to school.Whatever it is and please stop communicating with families and friends that you all had together.. Don't go in places where you think he be at untill you almost healed..It's not going to be easy at all... And I mean please please do not contact him at all.
I agree with this response
My ex broke up with me 6 months ago and since that day she has every weekend a new dude . That confirmed to me she has no self value in herself and just trying to run away from her problems away cause she stepped into our relationship with her previous ex bf problems and now she took that and the problems which she created in our relationship and mess up more dudes she's just getting ran through so disgusting that I loved this person before . Even when she comes back one day maybe , no thank you your not wife material to me
Coach I automatically spike the like button before you have even started. It relaxes me always and thanks for doing this. While it’s true I am in the midst of a breakup after 9 years, I feel better every day and I have learned a lot thru you. Mostly I have learned that this time is about my growth to the best version of me every day as the only way thru and it’s been my focus listening to you. You reinforce it and I feel better than I would have expected if someone told me beforehand my girl was going to drop me😊 Glad I found this…best to you.😎
she broke up with me............. i'ma need you to lie down with that L for the rest of your days because.... clearly you bet against the house. and yeah I respected it, you were 100% right. But it's all good, see, by you doing this level of heartbreak. it's pushed me to start my own youth drop-in center, get published, become recognized as a state trainer, endorsed by 2 famous worldwide UA-cam personalities. get the body I want, finally get inked into what I want to look like.
Because of you, it confirmed me never chasing or begging anyone to be in the life since I'm the prize and the pedestal is where I belong. see it's all good because since the grass is greener on the other side, go lie down there with the new boo and new people. besides...there's 8 billion people in this world, so on a statistics number that's 80,000 possible combinations for you to continue to explore. you asked me who hurt me, and ya know...i gotta credit you with doing the exact same thing since I'm finally becoming the man that I know will be.
He is not mine but I am still so in love with that man😑
You have to let go for now! Focus on yourself
@blacademic I am. Thank u for the support 💓
I am in love with her same thing I used to chase her on night time not knowing where she at drunk I stop gambling 100 days ago she start making negative comments to me. I made a big scene out of it. She packed up her stuff and left after six years together but this is not the first time her leaving. I haven’t talk to him three days.
I honestly just feel defeated and don't really care much any more. I'm so tired of giving my energy to such a despicable person. I loved him with every ounce of me but I'm so tired it being one sided. I'm becoming indifferent.
Great video coach. Very insightful! I dont think she’ll ever come back. Left me and then 3 months later she is with an ex of her past. We have a daughter so no contact isnt an option amd their relationship is clearly a slow one. So i do fear her grass is in fact greener! It’s been about 10 months since she left and i seem to battling myself! I want to move on and show her what she’s missing out but im battling myself where in fact in the one who is missing out as i know what this new guy is experiencing😢 defoo the hardest thing i e ever experienced and just want it over now. Either with her or without her 😢
@@danilaroche1156 we was engaged to be married and planned to tie the knot this year
@@danilaroche1156 would love to say i know him but if she doesn’t follow him then i wont have a chance, even if i do :(
Move on emotionally Sir...find love elsewhere ❤
One month in. No contact. The only place she's not blocked is email. Since leaving me, she's emailed twice asking questions and saying she needs a hug. I only respond in 2-3 word sentences. Definitely not what she's hoping to hear.
I do get lonely and miss her at times, but then I think about how toxic she was treating me and how I'm over it.
The most unforgivable thing she's done by leaving is telling me to stay away from her family and grandkids. To me, there are never a great deal of positive male role models in these kids' lives, how can she cut this one out completely?
I think she's finally splashed in the stream in an attempt to find the giant dog bone... 😂😂😂
Thank you so much for helping me to view the situation from all angles. I truly have an edge on the situation with you COACH BLAC, in my corner.
❤️❤️❤️
I don’t know how I landed here but anyways here it goes.It’s been about 6 months since the break up and I’m doing really well. My ex cheated on me so many times including with his ex (that’s engaged) and one of his models (as he’s a videographer) which they are dating now. Honestly when I found out they were together I was hurt because he told me he didn’t want a relationship or commitment anymore also after I had forgiven him for his mistakes and a few months later he was dating this model. I did what I could to be the best girlfriend I could but unfortunately he didn’t see it as he wanted the fast life. I hope he realizes what he lost and when he does it will be too late 😅
Thank you coach you really helped me through my phase of no contact jsut learning to get back to myself and you were right they do come back after jo contact It took him a week to come back :) I’m trying to be better in the relationship with him not lie and set up boundaries thank you for these videos i think I would’ve went crazy calling and texting Instead of no contact and making them miss me keeep these videos coming can you do one on how to react when they do come back from no contact
Been broken up for almost 3 months now. She got into a rebound only WEEKS after the breakup with one of her male friends! Seems like she's still in the relief stage, maybe permanently gone??
Why wait for someone who is sleeping with another man?have self worth and move one,she doesn't deserve you.
Thank you so much sir. I know I'll get someone better than my ex. He manipulated me into staying. I just broke up with him 10 days back. You are helping me immensely. But it might take years to find the one.. And i am already 32...it's scary.
Why years?
The most important takeaway from this video for me is how my own perspective changes in the future about wanting the ex back
my ex beat me up one day when he was drunk and he went to a bar picked up a girl and had her move in less than a month
I keep praying always no matter the outcome. I just truly want to become a better person and man from this because I never wanted to breakup with her and I care for her I was attached part of me still has feelings for her but part of me knows I have to move on as she did it seems like
I dont know anything about my ex. He reached out once and claimed he didn't care about the person he was with, and I just advised him to be real with her. Even though I informed him that I was talking to someone, well, that didn't last long. God had to show me that he wasn't for me. I guess my ex is happy. Your videos are encouraging and motivational. I've learned to move on and let God direct my path
I did everything for her the best I could with the resources I had. She left me last month. She originally left me last year one week before thanksgiving. I took her back immediately after she wanted to come back 3 days after leaving me. Fast forward to last month, she decided to walk out on me and left me high and dry. She kept making me feel like I wasn’t doing good enough in our relationship, but truth is, I tried my best to make her feel loved. I knows she going out now and partying and living her “fun single life” but it hurts because part of me wants her back and some nights are so hard being alone without her. What do I do? I want to keep going no contact but I always think of her and the good she did in our relationship.
Nothing wrong with sleeping alone....that's why she takes you fogranted
Honestly after getting cheated on and used while getting gaslit at the end has changed my perspective on love i honestly dont want anymore relationships ive totally given up on just trying to find one woman just one its too much to risk 😔 im sorry but ive given up on love i just want genuine friends thats it
Coach Blac.. I hear you… but this shit hurts.. My ex wife and I have 3 children and we still live together.. we tried to reconcile and things were going well.. so I thought we gel so well… I rolled up my sleeves and saved the house I helped with the house chores and paid the mortgage and put food on in the house.. 8 months on solidness even her mom was was telling me how great I’m doing.. then boom it’s over???? It’s been about 30 days.. my thing is this we don’t want the same thing.. I was a meaningful productive relationship. She says she just wants to co parent.. under the same roof… so that’s stopping me from getting me a relationship with a woman who will value me.. don’t get me wrong I do love her but if she doesn’t want me then let me find someone who is fit for me… why won’t she move out/ on???
Me and my ex were supposed to be taking a “brake” but ended up with a new guy. This new guy had to leave his 14 year relationship to be with my ex and it’s only been a week. Now she’s saying “he’s perfect for her” and that we will never be together again. We have 7 years and kids. People are just disgusting and hurtful. He left his family to be with a girl that has so many different mental illnesses like ptsd and bipolar disorder and depression. She says they aren’t together but our son told me they were and he wasn’t allowed to tell me. Now I haven’t talked to him in a week
Coach I made a mistake 4yrs with my baby's father off n on he's way younger than me we broke up again for 2 months I saw he was doing good not looking for me I had to reach out to him got back again broke up recently for dumb reasons very immature very narcissistic person I tried talking to him I got his family talking to him and nothing he's never on the wrong but I see your videos you're helping me so much with this heartbroken. Ty coach 🙏
Yes this is why he says after he dumped me he wants too be my friend.
3 years we were together
I could not accept for a year I begged
Now I been doing no contact
He came back 2 days of lovie dovie crap not 2 days of bread crumbs
I’m pissed doing the mirror technique on him one word like he does me
Now I will stop replying I hope haha
I am getting stronger
I do love him but really realizing his ugly ways
I can’t keep Makin excuses for his horrible ways🙏🙏
I see a lot of women talking about men here. But men what about women? How often are women coming back to you?
Been single 3 months no contact a month now.Had to break it before that due to him needing his stuff back and also his mum saying she hopes we can sort it out in time and that I should msg 😅 didn't go well he went from crying saying I'm the most beautiful girl in the world in May after break up to Jul 6th saying he can't see it working as we have fall outs.We was together 5 years lived together a year amd I'm his first kiss first everything I had to teach him alot he lacked maturity and set in some not good ways.I helped him grow alot and supported him.We had a big fall out at the end over him staying up gaming and porn which he didn't even get off too just had ocd looking at it it was too much we had the fight he moved out.I still wanted to try as there was lots of good despite those things.Suddenly he changed his mind saying he can't trust we won't fall out again.4 weeks after we split he's on dating sites 3 months later he's looking me up on social media but no contact.Ive just joined dating scene but more to see what's out there not ready to move on yet.I got this gut feeling he will reach out once I'm out of those feelings 😬 we can't do anything but move forward painful or not and put love back into areselfs
Well, I’m drunk and a lot of stuff happened tonight. She doesn’t know I’m drunk we went No contact tonight. I’ve been watching your videos for a while and planning on it. I just hope I’m not just doing it because I’m drunk. I hope it just gave me the courage to do it but I hope she realizes what she’s missing out on. I know it’s gonna be a while, but like you said, who knows what if I find better what if I can do better only time will tell.
You are drunk but atleast you still have some sense
Dear coach Black that was an excellent tip note for working on yr self and ex
Thanks for the comment. Keep grinding 🙏
Bro thanks so very much for this video it's really guided and helped me not make wrong moves 👍👍🥂💯
I ended things after she started moving funny, acting hot & cold. Something in my gut told me I had to let her go even though it’s not what I wanted… few weeks later she was in a new relationship. After I had asked her if there was someone else. She lied, made me feel like shit for ending our relationship, said she was mad at me. But already had a replacement! It makes no sense! It’s been 6 months NC. And 5 months since she’s been with this new person, recently posting pictures together. I have blocked them from everything! I even changed my #! She has no way contact me! Sometimes I wonder if she’s reached out but I guess I’ll never know now! The level of disrespect was enough for me to never want them back… I’m still in love with her but I have more self respect for myself now. Thank you coach for you words. I’m focused on becoming the best version of my self and although I’m struggling I’m not folding… I definitely plan to book a session with you soon! God Bless! 💯
Im on month 3 of no contact and absolutely no chase she did reach out due to a earthquake but i kept it short and brief.
It’s been 4 mos since I moved out. He said he wanted to live alone. He didn’t like who he was becoming. He also didn’t want to work at it. He gave me 30 days to move and I left in 6 w/o telling him. Just moved all my stuff from the house while he was at work. With a note he is now at peace and take care. This is our 3rd break up. Last time we were apart for a year and he came back saying he worked on himself, but I learned now that we just went thru the same stuff. Not sure where he is as he blocked me from social media 2 mos after breakup.
Coach pls help,
Im currently on my phase where ex gf is reaching out for dates but keeps going cold after for about 2 weeks ? Apart from kisses we haven’t done the deed since break up but tells me on date that we will get back together one day ??
I'm no expert, but it sounds like your ex is keeping you as an option while seeing other people. It seems as though she knows your love is easy and not much has changed about you. Put a price on your validation and show her she has to earn your attention. Go no contact and focus on actually improving areas of your life that need to be improved. You have more value than you realize.
@@nicroberson4346 thanks for advice much appreciated! I dont think shes seeing anyone as i would of heard but possibly keeping me an option , should i give ultimatum going forward or move on?
@@mallynl3239 I wouldn't give an ultimatum because they are manipulative and moving on is something you're not going to do at this stage in the breakup. Without knowing the exact details of the situation I'd recommend you redirect your attention to something that will improve that quality of your life. Don't ignore your feelings during this time because it's okay to reflect, but don't obsess. Give yourself love and grace. When she reaches out don't be so willing to accommodate her needs. Without saying it let her feel that you been reflecting whether you two are compatible. She will be the one insisting on a relationship or seeing you more frequently and inevitably she will bring up the conversation of a relationship. You can decide at that point if you want to try again.
My Ex acted like we weren't even together. She was emotionally unavailable and never asked about my kids.....then she git mad I broke up with her and went off on me, telling me about myself. Now she acts like everything is cool with all my coworkers, but I have been in no contact for almost a month now. She unfriended me on snap as well lol.smh
Its been 100 days since my ex gf broke up with me. I dont know whats the reason and I never asked.. she says our relationship is beyond repair and she couldn't take it anymore. I responded "OK" and blocked her on whatsapp. She also blocked me. I dont have any social media and I dont care about validation. People say im stone cold. She eventually goes into a rebound in a matter of days after the break up. It was a recent friend. So sleazy and disrespectful. I had sleepless nights at first but now its better. I dont care anymore and I know, im worth so much more 😊
We broke up end of Feb and spent the next couple of months where early on he would initiate contact but the end I was doing all the initiating and only get random replies. Went no contact end of April and haven't heard from him since. He's a FA and leans dismissive so I didn't really expect contact right away so i spent time focusing on me. Lost 30 lbs, finished my degree program and am living life. I would like to try again but it takes two to tango as they say and I am not inclined to break no contact just because I have no idea where he could be emotionally. Feel like I need him to initiate at this point otherwise we will be stuck in a cycle of break up, make up and repeat. What do you think?
Why did you wait until AFTER the breakup to lose 30 pounds and “living your life”. These are things you should have been doing anyway, ESPECIALLY taking care of yourself physically!
I had started on the road to physical fitness and he and I actually did some of that together. Losing the 30 after was just me keeping it up and building on what I had already started. Living my life was also something I had been doing during the relationship but since I have more time now that i don't have to set aside time i would have done things with himI am doing more new things sooner. @@lorrainea.285
Ex told me im working on myself sex was not important to her . Then i found out she is back dealing with this guy that is only wit her cause of sex but when me her was together she said that s all i wanted when had been together for yrs .
We were communicating but decided to go no contact after a month of the break up. She is staying to herself, but reaches out every now and then
No progress in healing and possibly reconciling if you are keeping in touch
My ex is currently going out and has started using bumble to meet new people, but does not want anything exclusive with anyone. It seems like she is just wanting to feel a sense of independence. We both did no contact, but it only lasted for a week. We then met and had a date. The date went well and we plan for another. She used to feel like I did not give enough genuine effort so I stopped by to bring her some flowers and she was not home so I left them by her door the next morning I woke up to my phone number being blocked when I asked why she said it was because I came by her house without asking permission and it made her uncomfortable which I understand. I did get a little anxious and needy from that because I was just trying to do something nice. She told me that she needs a little time for herself and I have not responded. It seems like she wants to move on, or has moved on but for some reason she can’t let go of me fully. Her and I had an amazing connection and a great relationship until I did something that hurt her trust. I love this girl and see her having a place in my life. I’m just trying to level up and respect her distance because I do not want to push her any further away.
We’ve been split for a month and a half. I begged and chase the first three weeks then applied no contact. She reached out in seven days then the following three weeks she reached out every two days and was sending a lot of mixed signals an example being jealous, flirtatious, and such, now yesterday I kind of jumped the gun and started chasing again and she told me that she thinks of me as a friend. I told her today that I’m not interested in being friends should I just have continued to play it cool or did I do the right thing when she dropped the friend word?
I'm in a similar situation although my person in a relationship with someone. I was no contact w/ her for a couple weeks until she broke it. She randomly reached out and I believe there's turmoil in her relationship which has caused to reminisce on what we had. Turns out she was having problems. We chatted consistently on early parts of the day last week. In some of those conversations she would validate, flirt, use word of affirmation, and show a ton affection. Similar to you, I started jumping the gun and started to chase. Now, fast forward to this week radio silence. Now I'm left with mixed signals and confusion. From my pov it seems like things are going well in her relationship again and there's no need for me until problems occur. That I was just being used for attention and emotional support. Basically I'm just the guy who's there just in case her relationship fails.
I share this because I'm not saying your lady is mirroring these exact actions that I'm experiencing, but she could be using you in some capacity. I thinks it's best you strip that away and take your power back! She doesn't deserve to have access to you. It's all or nothing. Anyways, to answer your question I think its best to continue to set boundaries for yourself. You made the right choice by establishing you don't want to be friends. I feel that same way in my situation. It's extremely challenging to accept being friends with someone who you were once intimate with. By doing this it forces her to a make decision on trying to work things out with you or missing out on you all together. I would advise being no contact and prioritize yourself and what's important in your life. Control what you can control you know? Even though you want her, you don't need her. Allow your absence to bring her back to with the intent of making amends for the better. If it's meant to be, it will always be. Trust and believe that. Keep your head up bro. I hope things play out in your favor
@@quinnencalade i appreciate the feedback man, im under the assumption that she is seeing someone else. Even though when we flirt i say some crazy stuff that she gets off too and 2 weeks ago she begged me to come over and have sex which i did but it only seemed to make things worse as she told me with how she was feeling after she shouldnt talk to me for awhile. Then proceeded to reach out 2 days later… asking for pics of me because she knows i been hitting the gym and drooling over them. I think shes feeling herself knowing that shes talking to another guy/guys but still got a improved version of myself. Ive been good with the no contact, i dont feel the need to reach out at all but she seems like she cant stay away so well see what happens now that i established some boundaries.
Perfect 👍
Let her go ... trust me, work hard on yourself.
Not 2 weeks, or a month, this takes time.
Take your time 2 really heal. You feel deep down inside when you are ready. Never ever think this can work out 2 love, yes it can, but than take time for working on you ❤
Much love from Amsterdam
I am in NC for one month. But unfortunatelly i was monkey branched, and i was shocked when my gf said before out hollyday together, sorry, i have someone for two weeks. Good bye. I felt as hit my head and still feel the same.
My ex has canceled on our plans all month of August (including 2 that she came up with) yet likes all my posts and stories. She just stopped contacting me first this week. She only initiated when i was in colombia 7 days ago. I suspect she is talking to someone new already, i just wish she would tell me straight up instead of playing games with my head.
My ex said he’d come back in a heartbeat. I said lord please help me let this man go cause no! Just no 😅
I gave my ex to much validation and now I backed away he said that he misses me and thinks about me a lot but wants to figure out what he wants I am now in no contact with him again and not sure on what I should do
What if, I am the one asking my ex to forget about me& to delete/block my number? But now I regret my decision , how do I get him back when he blocked me?
Type and duration of the relationship: 1.6 years, long distance, very deep relationship with future planned out, families involved
Duration since the break up: 2 months 2 weeks
Contact: yes, almost daily, via email
Reason: on a sugar rush because of sudden changes in life, such as first job, new friends, partying, alcohol and a never seen exposure
Reason she gives: For the first 2 months excuses, now says “my feelings faded, idk how and why, but I don’t have feelings anymore, I don’t want to be in a relationship with anyone either, i am sorry, it’s my mistake, but i just wanna focus on my job and support my parents financially”
Mistakes i have made since the breakup: Angry outbursts, constantly asking for an explanation since she didn’t give anything for the first 2 months!
Her parents: Don’t support her decision, very sad with her decision as well as her present lifestyle, they agree with me, they want me back.
Ps, there is no third guy.
the best advise ever
Don't waste your time on no contact, they will never come back.
It’s been 2 weeks since I got that text, I am a mess she said she doesn’t love me romantically and knows I lover her. I am so lost right now
My ex filed for divorce and served me she's talking to a guy now that's married with 5 kids, after I got served I took some stuff and moved away for a while it's been 2 weeks gone and she messages be about stuff for the house that I'm pretty sure she already knows how to do by herself. I'm doing no contract as much as possible i only reply if she messages me.
Hi Coach blac , i seriously need your opinion on this :
Its been 1.20 months since she left . We were together for 6 years since 11th standard and were in long distance since last year . We had multiple occasions where we used to fight but after 2-3 months come back together .
Since the breakup i didnt contacted her (but on the day of our breakup i cried and told her to come back ) . And one week ago she texted me that she is in a new relationship n that she has moved on . But she didnt unfollowed or blocked me , our comments are still there on each other posts . And i am confused about what do i need to do . Should i need to block her or let it be this way . Should i keep her in the following to see my music posts which i'll drop sooner to get her attention?
I dont know if its a rebound or she monkey branched me , but i started seeing her behaviour changing 2-3 months back .
I WANT HER BACK ASAP , what should i do ?
@blacademic What happens if the ex came back after NC of 4 months, we met and i followed your advice. All was good. Then we met on a second date and i just happened to lightly ask about the other woman because of whom we had broken up. He got angry and walked away again saying these resentments are still there. Now what? Do you think he will come back again if i go NC again?
Why did he get so easily annoyed,he is only back because he lost her......where is the commitment if he snaps at you like that after everything......you deserve better
@@leratoseretsi5603 thanks! Yes I think so too, but I am still in love with him. Hope time will heal soon. I am again in NC, and I hope I don't give in if he comes back the second time.
My ex is partying as she always was. But I’ve heard that she’s been talking smack about me almost nonstop. (No contact 4/5 months.) I feel that she’s just doing it so she doesn’t have to face her feelings, but what do you think?
Absolutely, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. If she truly doesn't care, she would put you into the past but if she's still smacktalking you to others she clearly misses you, but just doesn't want to admit it to herself. I would resume NC as normal as this is something she has to figure out for herself, any casual chat or even worse, "can we talk", will just push her further away into her denial and be more certain that the breakup was the right thing to do.
I am not the expert here however, so take my words with a grain of salt. Coach Lee here on youtube has great videos regarding breakups and getting back together, just like Coach Blac. They, among many other people I've checked out, are firm believers that no contact is the best way to get an ex back, if you even want them back, cause NC is all about focusing on yourself and improving all aspects of yourself as a person.
Stay strong 💪
I got dumped, we got a place together then she got a job in another state I helped her move and set up her stuff and got dumped a month after was devastated then I started focusing on myself got a promotion at my job I’ve been keeping to myself with some hope she’ll return but that’s been fading away I move out of the place we got in a few days
My husband left 3weeks ago we've seen each other and talked but is been all me reaching out. I'm starting to feel like a fool . I'm so stressed the fuck out I don't know what to do with myself. We've been married 17 years, I just don't understand why he want come home. I'm leaving him along now and going to gave him his space. But my heart is broken I can't keep going on like this.
It has been 4 months. After the first month of no contact she called me and wanted to be friends while she was with a rebound secretly. When I found out I went no contact again. She breadcrumbs me throughout tried telling me the rebound is over. Tried to make me an emotional crutch. Brings up the past whenever I stand up for myself and set boundaries. She stalks my social media every single day since. Reacts to my stories and posts. After 11 years together l, we share a God son. And after being cut out of his life she is finally offering me the chance to see my godson. Tomorrow. Idk if I should do this for him or let them all go for good because I have respect for myself. She's always trying to reach out randomly to check on me and tell me she's hurting and she doesn't admit she made a mistake or try to fix things I don't have time for her. She left me if that wasn't clear, and she had her mind made up yet tells me all the things she lost by losing me and tells me I'm so different now. I wanted her back and now everyday that passes I'm slipping away from that fantasy
Run
Dam u had a kid Wiv a h6e myG!❌❄️
My ex gf is now living with her kids dad and pregnant again a year after our breakup. But she’s been seeing me all this time and still says she’s in love with me. We broke up in the first place cuz she told me she was having thoughts of making it work with him so they could have a “traditional family.” I’m a woman so she didn’t know if she could live that lifestyle. Yet she won’t let me go and gets jealous of other women around me
My ex is seeing someone new and partying
Let them do the party let you do the work!
Work hard my friend, work really hard on yourself and don't be afraid to be alone. 🙏🌱
When you ready rhe right person is ready ❤
Hey, Coach Black, I lost my girlfriend in March this year. I begged and pleaded not just to her but to her family, too, as we were supposed to get married. (I know I shouldn't have begged)
I have been in no contact for 3 months even as I go through the pain. I have been disciplined this last 3 months and have been 100% silent. My sister was worried about me, and yesterday, I messaged her and said "HI" without even talking to me about it. I feel like all the work I've done for 3 months is gone. What do you think?
I would like to mention that she said HI is using her own whatsapp account.
@@thechosenone2758 that's really unfortunate, she should have spoken to you first, but you should focus on moving on. If it's supposed to be she'll return or you'll meet an even greater version of yourself
@thechosenone2758 Your work is not wasted because you showed strength and resilience....this greeting is also not a disadvantage because if it doesn't bear any fruit your heart will accept the reality but I wish you well with or without her.
My baby father broke up with me a couple months ago and then I found out that his new girlfriend is a nurse and she is going to college. He told me that he dont have anywhere to sleep for the night and i put him up because apparently his new girl live with her mom. We ended up having sex that night and then the very next day he said that he feel guilty. I felt so hurt i can't sleep, eat and am crying all the time. Please i would love some advise at this time.
Thanks Coach !!! 😊
Some how don't see that she put it all over Facebook she is with someone else only been apart 6 months married 11 years and 16 years together yes it now makes me feel worthless and just taking the piss out of me all over Facebook my friends seen this not me so now even worse
3rd Time septated with my wife First two times 6 months apart we both tried to change but not full let go of our past third time now current situation 8 months separated I've been trying to force it and it's getting worse she wants space and she said she's done she's wants space but she's also wants me too take care of all her bills I've just recently been blocked for a week so I stopped giving her money and now she unblocked me but now I'm doing the no contact and it's hard but I really don't want to lose her more then I've already lost her
Coach, what if the dumpee ignores the attempts from the dumper for reconciliation within 3 hours of the breakup? I haven’t heard from her in a month she has ignored my messages I brokeup in the heat of the moment over text it was a rash impulsive decision. I apologized and more I stopped reaching out after I sent my 4th message which an I miss you text it was paragraph or so. It’s been a month of no contact and a month since the breakup I miss her but I’m in the acceptance stage after a couple of weeks of the breakup. I’ve gone into therapy, started my own journal, focusing on the personal growth staying off social media we still have each other on social media she hasn’t taken me off it yet which caught me off guard. But seeing her on there was painful enough already and to really focus on changing for myself to become a better person and man from this breakup.
We broke up for 3 months already. Then she sent me an email and asking me. If i am okay etc.
and we talked about the unsettled bill we had before. And nothing happen. I will go back to no contact and detox from socmed
Hi All...can anyone advise me please..Dating a lady for 5months ..we had some issues.all of a sudden she wants space and a break....we live separately. She calls and texts abd video calls.What does this mean..I am a middle age man but so confused.I love her but her feelings are not the same.Please assist in any manner.God Bless 😢
Coach blac, it seems things ain't working out, she's asking for friendship of which I don't. What should I do then all she's saying is, she ain't interested in relationship now...she even blamed me for me been the cause of the breakup, accusing me off me dating her friend, some female friends of mine....I'm confused
How can you interfere if she has blocked you after a nasty argument 😢😅
If I had done all those things like messaging her, calling her, tell her that I missed her and so on that should not done after the break up, what should I do now?
Kindly fix it
No contact
sir ur voice is really healing i no more chasing after so much chase did no contact work after chasing alsoo i want to know?
love for ur work from india..
Coach, my ex got into a rebound and that rebound dumped her but she has developed an anxious attachment with him and hence she is pursuing him now...what can be done?
Same boat
My ex sleeps with the woman he was sleeping before our relationship. Sais he can't have sex with me because it creates a bond and responsibility and he wants to stay away from that. Sais he needs to learn to love himself first before he can love someone selflessly again(he is divorced and has a 3 year old son).
I don't know what to do! He broke up at the end of january. Then started communicating with me in april. Had sex 3 times since then. Watches my stories. Smiles and talks to me when we meet(we live in the same apt building).
I feel very helpless and do not know what to attempt or to do....🤦♀️
Well what if you aint know yall wasn't together anymore until u called over something else that's wen he said it.i wasn't nothing but good to him no bad times together
He is making his way to come back to me but i don't feel like having him back,ive received messages from him which doesn't belong to me and i know that even hes trying to come back but he is still contact with her
Coach great video, definitely agree! After a few months of NC my ex randomly called last week, I just missed the call, called back and got sent to voicemail with a text saying she didn't mean to call. I eventually responded with a liked message and "no problem." I imagine she's somewhere between curiosity and standing on her decision to breakup. Any thoughts? My approach now is to continue doubling down on my self-improvement and staying in NC.
@@danilaroche1156 I won’t know until we talk again. She wanted to be alone, things I did bothered her, she felt she is at a point in life where she wants to he selfish, were things she said during the breakup. 2 year relationship.
I would of never answer
Damm man someone just ended things with me. We were dating for 2 weeks, just cause of age gap I’d be interested to see if these things work after seeing someone for a short period of time
But if she has to much pride and she did say alot I wish she can come back but he pride is to much yes she did think about it she told me that
Can time and space build a trust again?
Female leaves open access. Like when I broke up with somebody I do move I change my phone number I deactivate my social media and another name that he don't know so he would not find me tell the person he chose over me he's going to have to suffer to stay with that female
And if he leaves with no explanation at all? just stops communicating with you and starts posting someone else..
Then he doesn’t care. You can’t force anyone to do anything
Coward 😊
I have a question can you pls answer
Can I watch my exs stories during no contact
No
Wait I don't get it. someone provide a short answer please. What is the one reason exes regret break ups?
Time, space, and failed grass syndrome. provided the relationship was healthy
What was the reason? I missed it
This ❤
7 months NC. Not a peep. He's thriving without me
Are you ready to let him go?
@@blacademic I still love him so much but idk what to do at this point.
Is there no hope?
🙏🏼💯❤️