If Your Ex Moved On and Crushed You Completely, THIS Is How You Heal
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- Опубліковано 27 тра 2024
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When someone we hoped we would be with forever breaks up with us, the pain of heartbreak that follows can be akin to torture.
Most of us have been there before, and we all know it can take all the strength we possess to adapt to this new reality . . . but what about when, in addition to this pain, we have to watch as our ex moves on with someone else?
This week’s video will give you a new approach that will show you how to rebuild step-by-step so you can feel confident in your ability to fall in love again.
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▼ Chapters ▼
0:00 - 0:48 - The Devastation of Heartbreak
0:48 - 2:13 - The Story That Inspired This Video
2:13 - 3:38 - When Our Ex Moves on
3:38 - 5:37 - A Constant State of Anxiety
5:37 - 7:16 - Trying to Slay the Dragon
7:16 - 9:01 - An Ego on Life Support
9:01 - 11:06 - Where We Derive Our Worth
11:06 - 12:48 - A Source of Instant Confidence
12:48 - 13:22 - The Great Irony
13:22 - 14:54 - How to Make It Happen
What it has always shocked me is after spending years together, sharing lots of wonderful things, they can abandon you all of a sudden, finding someone else in a month and simply acting as though they've never met you. The level of coldness and lack of empathy has actually traumatized me.
Sending love to you wherever you are❤❤... You will get well😊
@@aniket7151 Thanks so much Aniket 😍
@@critianclassico8208 Thanks for asking! I'm good, yeah, I've got immunity now and expect nothing from them, I know how the game works. Young men and teens should be advice not to rely on women cos' the story won't end nice. Women don't want a man, they want men and can get them easily. Not my biased opinion but the state of the culture. Your girl will leave the new guy, remember that. Don't take them seriously, move on, train, read, study, work hard, find good friends. All the best, my brother!
Same!!! Exactly what happened to me 3 months ago… i just cant understand. Broke me to the core of my soul
Most likely the other person had already checked out before you knew it. 😢
I’m watching this while crying in the coffee shop, I’m fighting this at the moment.
Sending you a big hug. It's a crushing pain, but I'm 8 months post being ghosted by fiancé. It gets better! ❤
This moment will pass. Let it all out, you deserve the same love you’ve given 🤍
You are not alone. I am too crying and hiding too.
May you be better than yesterday.
Major hugs ❤
It's hard... I get ghosted... I always wanted him to love me but him seeing with someone 💔
Think of it as the quote, "If your absence doesn't bother them, your presence never meant nothing to them".
I believe that 💯
Gutted.
Utterly devastated.
In shock.
Shattered.
Abandoned.
Rejected.
Discarded.
Dismissed.
Over.
Sadder than i could ever imagine.
I do not wish to take another breath.
30 years-monkeybranched.
Today, i cry.
Tomorrow, he will cry.
It will be too late for him.
I was a DOMESTICATED DIVA and I LOVED HIM WELL. HIS HOME WAS HIS CASTLE....all that has tumbled....ge will miss the poshness, love and peace! His chocolate drawer-empty. No perfume on his pillow. No gourmet cookies....no happy easy going wife!
No telling how many people get hurt daily by these demonoids.
Right!!
real
It gets better , it really does. The pain fades and new love emerges from within. Sending everyone Love ❤
Does it really? I'm in tears
so am I @@Happiness71
It takes time
No one loves me. I have no friends, no kids, no love. I am always rejected and I got rejected by the woman I was trying to marry but she didn’t want me. Some of us like me are nothing but worthless trash
men needs lots of yrs to heal...even i am suffering after 1.5 years
If they "moved on" really quickly they were probably cheating on you, so good riddance.
That’s right-if not physically, then emotionally.
not necessarily, you might put feelings into subconsciousness for years and on surface it looks like you moved on. But it causes clinical depression subsequently
Exactly
Factzzz
They need to make sure they find the right ride before buying the used appliances.
" If you're the one she doesn't want , then be the one she doesn't have.
Because massive success is the biggest Revenge. "
Me 2. Its dreadful
Time heals all wounds.
We all crave connection, soon you will found a better person and a better connection .
That person is perfect, is just an illusion.
Can you please explain the line? I really need to hear it please. I understood but not fully.. Please 🥺
It means, be extremely successful that she regret her decision of leaving you.
In my second reply, I was saying that no one is perfect, it's just our stupid brain, memories, false image of that person and addiction of that person which fools us , make us believe, that person is our perfect match
Indeed. Don’t let someone who isn’t worth your love make you forget how much you are worth.
You’ve got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
❤
❤Well said. Thanks for the remainder.
Wow. I’ve read so many comments but these simple few words really hit me. Thank you for this.
Thank you for this 🥲
If they move on too fast. They were emotionally out of the relationship. And just there physically. Don’t ignore the signs. His or her behavior is the answer.
If they move on fast, they were probably cheating on you.
@JoshuaBaris-je6ws A narcissist moves on very fast because they are parasites, they jump from host to host. The new person will eventually be the old person, and the pattern of abuse continues. There is no love involved in ANY of their relationships, they suck you dry and move on.
I‘m tired of always having to be strong. I want life to be easy just for once please.
Tell me about it.
Yes!
She left me 3 days ago. I haven’t felt so shattered in my life. I saw a future, she saw incompatibility. I simply don’t understand. Life feels so dark and lonely. I hope you guys are all okay. We will get through this.
Relationship is hard....Still feeling lost after he dumped me...😢
Me too
Same thing happen to me.. I saw a future but she saw just friends
Same. We were together for 5 years(3 yrs in LDR) and one day he just said that our personalities are too different and we have different definition of love. Basically, we're not compatible.
Same here… He ghosted me and I dunno if he’ll be coming back or it’s forever.. I gave my best ,invest time to him,we planned for the future together even having our own kids…but now I realized that it’s only a
“prank “.Can’t sleep,can’t eat but I’m trying my best to do my best at work..and yeah I have to move on..
I’m so sad that there are so many of us that needed to hear this. We got this everyone I know we will be ok!!
Let's do it Panchs!!
@@armandopacheco1245 let’s goo!! I just did my first jiu jitsu tournament! 🙌🙌 and am on my 7th month of weight training!! A lot of progress since! I’m proud!!
Thank you ☺️
🫶🏻💔❤️🔥❤️🩹🥺❤️🩹
I"m happy that there are so many of us that needed to hear this.. because even though the path is hard, in the end we become not only ok, but much better than we were before.
Just another perspective for everyone to consider.
I’m a portrait photographer and I used to photograph both weddings and families. My work has been both nationally and internationally published.
A particular image comes to mind.
A bride and groom on their wedding day. The image of a true life fairy-tale romance. They both looked like models. Like royalty. Deeply in love with each other.
The image was published in a magazine. Anybody could have picked it up at Barnes and Noble and stared at it, wishing they had that.
And do you know what I remember when I look at that photo now?
That I manipulated them into the pose I wanted, expression included.
And that the groom was extremely cranky and over it. And wanted to know when he could stop having his photo taken and go smoke a cigarette. And in front of me, the bride used some *very* strong words to get him to pull it together.
That’s what I remember.
I saw the same thing with a family shoot. The photo could not paint a better picture of domesticity. And the couple fought right in front of me. I heard the husband call the wife a “psycho”. And I just stood there, awkwardly, waiting for them to calm down.
My point is that yes, some couples are genuinely happy after leaving their previous relationships. And no, not everything is a facade.
But be careful if you compare yourself to professionally taken engagement, wedding or family photos. In general, people are good at turning it on for the camera. So when a professional is directing them, forget about it. Even with photojournalistic images, we throw plenty out and keep a selected few to tell a story. A story that we have the power to manipulate a bit.
I had my heart absolutely shattered 3.5 years ago. I’ve never fully recovered. And I’m somewhat convinced that I’ll never find anybody now that I’m 40.
I recently saw on social media that my ex and his new bf have gone to Disney World several times. And it triggered me.
Disney was always my thing.
He proposed to me just outside of Disney. The flash mob proposal video went viral. We looked…”perfect”.
It’s easy to envy them.
Then I remember.
He proposed to me in Disney because I loved Disney. He hated it. When I suggested we grab wedding brochures while at Disney, he was like, “why would we want to get married on the Disney property?”
At the airport a couple of days later, he picked a fight with me. And as we flew home in first class…newly engaged…Diamond on my finger…we flew home, in complete silence.
Moral of the story:
Be careful what you’re jealous of-it might be a facade.
And for every good thing you miss about them, think of three things you couldn’t stand about them. The more you do that…the more you realize that their new person is now the likely recipient of all that…the more you’ll realize that you quite possibly dodged a bullet.
“Be careful who you’re jealous of it might be a facade.” Tysm Matthew ❤
Thank you so much for sharing. Keep shining bright, someone will notice soon, I promise.
😢 I could NEVER go back to social media.
I’m 38, female, British born and raised, Indian ethnicity, single, 5’5, slim, and a Nurse. Never engaged, married or have kids but want it all. I thought I’d met the one on a first date recently but turns out he was a player - it destroyed me for the last 3 weeks because I really liked him and thought he liked me. Recently, feeling better now. I’m leaving it to Karma to sort him out.
I made wedding bands for a living. Very quickly I got a sense for what marriages were based on a solid loving foundation and what ones would not even make it a year. There are a million tiny red flags to be seen if the eyes are open. But so many are focused on the goal of getting married - but not on creating a foundation of a quality loving relationship to weather lifes storms over the years. Like you said, a guy calling his wife "psycho". The relationship can either be a death by a 1000 slices or 1000 acts that build a loving, emotionally present strong long lasting relationship. And your ex - doing things with the new person that he did with you - I guarantee the replacement partner feels invisible and like a replaceable widgit, because your ex is still going thru the motions and routines of your relationship with him - meaning he's not even relating to the new person at all.
Anyone currently going through this, please be gentle and kind with yourself in your thoughts and actions...this is when you need love and kindness to self the most. Do not make this mean anything about you!
Hi Thais!
Cut them off completely & don't waste a second more time on them. Tell yourself it was an error of judgment on your part & congratulate yourself for getting out. Simple as that. You'll probably hate them one day anyway so just get out
❤Thank You for the reminder.
Thankyou...it smears alot right now
🙏🙏🙏
I can get over a break up...what I never understood the need to completely destroy someone on the way out. You have to be a cold, cold, heartless motherf**ker to do that; don't expect that person to welcome you back. She showed who she really is.. believe her.
My heart hurts so bad!!! Two weeks out and I’m like a walking zombie ready to burst into tears at any moment. I work in a very social situation and I’m struggling minute to minute to act normal.
I feel for you I was told it’s okay to-feel the emotion you going at the time and not stay trapped in it move forward
I hope you are feeling better by now. I am in this now. I just hurts.
I’m there now in a social working environment n 2 weeks broke up. I’m so broken n hurt. Trying to be strong
My ex broke up with me 9months ago. We had been together for a little over a year. He never posted anything about me on social media, which didn’t bother me at the time. About 6 weeks after our breakup he was already in another relationship and posting about her all the time everywhere. He would put up captions saying “thanks for putting up with me” lol wish I would’ve gotten that since I did put up with him 😂 honestly it hurt to see him seemingly love someone the way I wanted him to love me. But it also helped me to move on and truly focus on healing.
Now 9 months post breakup he’s refollowed me on social media and has liked all my posts… it seems he’s trying to come back while still in his current relationship. A few months ago I would have eaten that up, but now I’m seeing him in a different light and I know I don’t want him back.
Thanks Matt for your encouraging videos… it’s helped me so much! Much love to you and yours ❤
He working his way to keep you as a spare. Be careful. Take care😊
Don't he's dirt unless you get the most massive apology gets down on his knees.
This actually happens to me and also she pass for time with the new guy more than she ever passed with me, but i learn the lesson we only need our validation, not seeking for the external one.
Don’t--the guy is not loyal, respectful or trustworthy, just Don’t, not again, find someone better@@brendanhiggins3442
This happens to me
It's the lack of empathy and the coldness that i still can't understand. I stood by her, nursed her when she was sick, forgave her for her lack of effort, i wasn't the best but i was always in her corner. 3 months later when i thought i had moved on it hit me like a tone of bricks finding out that she's engaged. How does one make sense of this?
Personality disorder traits are a real thing, and if traits were present in her then you can’t make sense of it. I’m sorry what you went through, I went through something similar
It does make sense, your not meant for each other. It's simple...move on you will meet another woman who you boh will have more in common and love each other...you need to believe
Engaged? After 3 months? 3 months after a dumping You?!
Sorry, but the fuck?! 😮
Here's what helped me within 6-8 weeks:
- hitting a gym
- starting a new hobby
- going on solo trips and creating new memories
- when mental pain hit i picked up my dumbbels and smashed it out
- started dating and literally got my male energy back (6 dates within 3 months, all ok, ultimately did not lead anywhere because i was not searching for attachment or commitment)
fight the fight, move on, live life to the fullest
Thank u 😢
I've been hitting gym too and picking up a bowflex set definitely helps. On my birthday she just gladly posts she's in a rebound. Yeah, kinda hurts until I think about it. I'm a bit of a sex starved manwhore, and on my birthday I took a girl out and went to town on her. I didn't even realize it until I counted but I've already banged 5 people and the last seems like it's gonna be a regular thing so I'm also rebounding to a degree lol but at least I'm not gonna be a fucking moron like she is and pick my downgrade and try to force what she had with me on the new guy.
Why did you hit the gym?
@@razvan7544by excercising you let out bad emotions
It's easier said than done buddy. When you come out of a committed relationship where you had planned the whole life together. It sucks
It’s taken me 2 years to heal from the same type of situation. I watched him give another girl everything I had to practically beg for. I thought he wasn’t good at love, but turns out.. he’s an Olympic swimmer at love. Just not for me. I wanted to move on like he did, but I couldn’t. I decided that me loving people doesn’t mean they have to love me back, and as much as I was giving love I wasn’t giving it to myself and I think that important, because you wouldn’t put up with anything subpar
#Humbled
Hope things have stayed better for you.
❤❤❤
Most People seem to be in a constant repeat of childhood trauma. Unhealthy attachment to parents.
Still healing from the biggest betrayal of my life a little over a year ago and this is exactly what I felt and I decided to focus in my inner healing and stayed single to this day and now I can say that everything was a blessing in disguise… I can honestly say I am now thankful it happened because I was able to understand and believe my true worth… he is with someone else but know we were definitely not at the same level and understand I had to heal many things within me … I am so very proud of myself for the way I have pulled myself up from everything that has tried to destroy me … don’t ever give up on yourself!
I'm so proud of you for coming so far
Hello, so happy for you. I am also finding myself and rn the pain is unbearable but i am still taking one day at a time and trying to flush things out.
@@Syo0929I'm going through this she left me last night I didn't do anything her response was I just don't love u anymore and she moved on to another guy I need to talk with someone I have no friends I have no one please 🥺
@@akashshukla6841I'm going through this she left me last night I didn't do anything her response was I just don't love u anymore and she moved on to another guy I need to talk with someone I have no friends I have no one please 🥺
I am going through this
I went through a betrayal this year and Matt thanks to u ,i am single,working out,giving my career time and being the best version of myself that i can!
great to hear this
Self-care and love is indeed important!
All the best to you
What ya mean. Working out, giving my career time and being the best version of myself can share more details? @parismitadas1601
What's your career?
Worst part about losing your loved ones, is that they are your comfort.
Now that they are gone, it feels as if nothing can comfort you, except your ex - and they have no responsibility to do so and they shouldn't.
So true, I broke up with my ex recently and she was my safe space. It feels like I have no one since she’s now gone.
Thank you for this I’m standing at the park right now crying going through a divorce after 30 years
Sending healing energy your way!❤
Had a beautiful 3 year relationship. Someone else suddenly walked into his life and he cheated and then ended up leaving me for her a day later. It’s so hard to cope, especially when he was so loving and caring towards me up until the very moment he met her. Thank you for your words ❤️
So true
Going through the same thing,on day 7. Hope you're doing better than I am right now. I just want her to stop haunting my dreams
I was replaced within 2 weeks afterall I did so so much for him. It shattered me , I was broken into pieces I'm still in the process of healing. It's really really heart breaking
@@miyokiizumi5985she replaced me 3 weeks after we split--the same week I was planning on proposing to her. It's killed me since.
That's bullshit. Be glad you were spared of anymore investment in such a hollow person.
Just know that it's their loss and you cannot control anyone. I was cheated on and lied to by my husband of almost 20 years. Lost tons of weight took a year and a little bit more to get over it. I still have problems trusting because of someone who supposedly cares for you so much for so long to do this what makes me think that no one cant do this. This is a hard one to get over but I think I'm almost there. I fully intend to love with my whole heart I'm not gonna let his mistakes hold me back. He won't and can't destroy my good heart!
❤
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Same
🙃🙏
Hey man, how are things 5 months later?
Stop wondering why this happened and realize it was meant to be. I have said this times ands times that I am never tied to someone who leaves me. It’s just that their part in my story is over. I am writing a new one 🙂❤️
To everyone reading these comments, just know that karma does exist. I've seen too many coincidences not to believe it. Trust me, one day someone will do to them what they did to you, and then they'll understand the pain they caused you. I've seen it happen. It will happen to everyone, even you, if you mistreated someone in the past. until your relationship karma is neutral and zeroed out,
Indeed
Yrs ago i had a love so strong it changed my life. She broke my heart and moved on. I've had relationships since but my heart never really really has felt the same since.
I'm only realising now I'm still dealing with the turmoil that past gave me. It's not just as easy as move on she doesn't care.
I know my neuro spicy brain perceives and feels different to the average person. But one day my soul will be free from weight.
I share your pain and I’m a 23 year old woman. It sucks to be so young. I hope the weight lifts.
You will heal in time and if you do the work. But is it fair to get into serious relationships and end up hurting others and not being able to love them to the same degree they love you?
@@jessicajackson1200 it wasn't, and that's why I ended it with my most recent. She deserves someone who fits her needs and long term dreams better, and with love I had to let her go.
I want to feed the inner dragon so I'm not chasing the external ones, and causing destruction along the way
@@RRR_Motorsports good for you, i wish you the very best. I hope you find healing and happiness.
@@jessicajackson1200 thanks :)
I hope only good things your way
"we accept the love we think we deserve" - the perks of being a wallflower
Those kinds of individuals who leave someone because of a new exciting chase for another person, I promise you, these people will never be happy. It'll be the same script over and over, of getting used to the person, getting comfortable until everything becomes familiar, till then one day, they try to find someone new again.
Ive been fighting this for 6 years. But ive not wasted my time. Ive done my therapy (for other things but also my self worth) and im doing some lone travelling. Ive realised its better to wait until someone comes along, who has their shit together. Ive spent too much time sipporting others. My last ex moved on within a month. Good luck to him...
~Same, here~I could have written this, word for word~
Mine cheated with a married woman and is still with her today even though she's still with her husband 😂
we had known each other for nearly a decade, and got into a relationship which lasted for 2 years. At the end, he got married to another girl within 2 weeks after our break up. The worst thing is he was talking to her and cheating on me, but I didnt realized. He put the blame on me at the end... Now from that time 1 year passed. I have been sufferring from a lot of things , my health and relationship with other people around me. But I'm more happy today to the effort towards my self-worth and self-awareness. It is heartbreaking experience anyway
Ahh.. just seems like yesterday I was completely crushed. Today? I wouldnt piss on him if he were on fire.
May no one ever go through a heart break during pregnancy or sickness. 2024 will be a year of great and mightier things in love and every aspect of life❤
I experienced this about 2 years ago. I stuck with him through his hard times only for him to turn around and give his healed self to someone new. They did the travelling that we had planned. It was horrible, I was shattered and I went through hell. However, it taught me to made more self-reliant, nothing can hurt me anymore.
I’m 54, divorced, and was just in a 6-yr relationship with someone who is 57 and divorced. He told me last month, ON VACATION, that we grew apart, and shouldn’t see each other anymore. He told me that I should go home, after 3 days. We were absolutely perfect for each other. He constantly told me he loved me so much because I was so supportive and helped him become such a positive, courageous person. I’m still in shock. I still cry myself to sleep and awake crying after 4 weeks. He has broken my heart and devastated me. 💔.
Big hugs ❤❤❤
I’m so sorry 😢 how are you feeling now?
In the midst of “working things out” she became distant and then on my birthday she said she wanted time to “work on herself” I respected it. However a week later, after looking through our photos i went to look at her profile online and she had already been in another relationship the whole time we were “working things out”. She was living a double life like nothing happened.
I have lost someone i love. I dont hate her for not choosing me which makes the whole getting over her process hard and its not easy giving up that hope that tells you that somewhere down the road things may work out between us but it is necessary. So , right now im just trying to focus on loving myself, healing and improving myself and its not easy either but nothing good in life is easy to attain. It's a journey and i will find myself again but for now i do the work on myself and accept that this chapter of my life has ended.
I spent years loving someone, to the best of my abilities. What hurts now is to unlove the same person after the breakup! Loving her was easier I think.
Still healing. I was taught a lesson of a life time. Now focusing on developing myself. Just realising that I didn't do much because focused on her too much.
As I am spending my last morning in our home of 13 years, to have this almost identical story and guidance shown to me at this movement gives me a sense that i am seen and the universe is watching. I am so tired of this fight and tired right down to my soul. I know my inner self is so angry at myself, I ignored him so long. I hope I will forgive myself. The journey begins today.
Good luck on your healing ❤
Sending you love ❤
How are you now?
Praying for you 🙏🏼🇬🇧 You are super strong girl!
Experienced heartbreak about 4 months ago. Takes time, effort, and energy to process the whole thing especially when you’d never expect they’d do such a thing and break up with you :(
Thank you, Matthew
I met my wife 15 years ago, I was 21 years old, she was 19. We shared and did everything together, we have been in a relationship for 14 years and married for 5 years, our children are 2 and 4 years old.
We often hung out with my best friend, whom I've known for 17 years.
About one and a half months ago she told me that my friend and her had fallen in love. When I first heard this I honestly didn't want to live anymore. I couldn't think of our children, I just wanted to die. Still absolutely numb I now somehow try to move forward and focus on our two kids. Sometimes I'd like to fast forward my life to see where the hell this is going and how long the pain is going to stay. I'm still trying to cope with the situation.
Damn brother that's harsh.
I wish you the best moving forward.
how are you now 🫶
How are you bro now?
I was married 21 yrs. Found out he was having sex with men. He didn’t care about me , our kids, house. We were just a show for the outside world. He used us, abused us, blamed me for everything. My life was a lie. He moved in with another woman 4 months after we broke up.
Life is giving you a fresh start. Sore and with deep marks, but you are free from his irresponsibility. Seek help from a good psychologist and find out what you want in this revival. Psychotherapy is great for this. Seek to know about Attachment Theory too, you will understand a lot about his behaviors and reasons for your choices and limitations. I wish you courage!
This sounds horrible. I’m sorry.
🤍
Yet isn't it a blessing rather than a curse
Knowing that person wasn't the correct one
Then be glad and not sad about it.
It's all devastating
@@HCforLife1
Only those who fall get to rise up again
Thank you so much for talking about this!
I went through something similar this year. My ex said that he couldn't think of being in a relationship in his life or anytime sooner. He pleaded to me saying that he had to focus on his work and he wanted to be alone. He cried to me saying that he couldn't put any effort in the relationship. He chose to be physically intimate with me even a day before the break up. I gave my all in those six months of the relationship. I missed to notice all the red flags and I celebrated him.
He ended the relationship over a call. In two months, I found him with another girl that broke me completely. I felt deceived and used. When I was already running to hospitals, I started falling more sick. I lost focus on my work. So, I decided to take a break and I am working on myself now. I am spending more time with myself, my friends and my family. I am slowly trying to stop spending my energy on the anger I hold for him. It's working well. I see myself in a place where I can value myself better now.
It is absolutely heart and soul crushing. Same thing happened to me. Showed me a good time intimately and that's the last time I saw him. June 13 of this year. I still cry but, I got started at a local gym, and personal trainer to get started in strength training and swimming, treadmill and I'm going to try a different machine for cardio as well.
Best wishes to you!❤
im so sorry
@@themercedestraveler9566 thank you.
This is exactly what happened to me today... Btw how things are going now?
If the incident he told was true, I have no reason to complain about my luck. My heartbreak is nothing compared to what the man must have felt. I'm grateful that I didn't have to face something that horrible. 7 Years. My God. Mine was 1.5 years and I went mad for a month. It took me tremendous energy to come back, and I'm still working on it. I still want her back. I pray to get her back. But I'm at a point where I know, that I can live without her and maybe find someone else some other day. Dating apps aren't made for men. It's like everything in the dating world is designed against men. But I will not give up on love. It will find me because I have been a sincere lover. Not all the time, but yes, I have tried really hard to be one.
@Firebender good luck my friend. I'm a woman and feel like those apps don't work for anyone. Just broke up with my guy a week ago.. 2yrs wasted...
Hey can we talk I'm from India
@smileyglitter852 Thank you! I hope things get better for you. I've pretty much moved on, but I do miss her but that's alright ig. We are going to make it!
@@mithyaworldhey buddy, yes we can
@@Alchemist_171 where we can contact..??
In my first relationship it took him 4 months to move on and start a family and it took me 3 years to heal from the trauma. Then with my next partner it took him 2 months to move on and 6 months to marry her, and it took me 2 years to heal. Since then it’s been 4 years and I’ve been single and have no desire to date. I’ve found peace and love with myself 💗
Never give 100% of yourself to a relationship.
Keep your friends, family ties, hobbies and interests. You need to have a piece of yourself reserved in order to come back from something like this. Don’t let your identity be swallowed up into another person and their life or it will take you forever to recover from it.
I made this mistake
My ex husband after 30 years left, wanting to be best friends. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong. But after attending two years of therapy and attending narcissistic abuse and support groups I'm finally piecing years of gaslighting lying manipulation and making me feel like I was losing my mind I'm so angry. as he gets involved with some stupid woman within 3 months, I told her that he was a narc but she didn't get it. So my covert narcissist it's really slick and intelligent just loves to be so helpful to everybody except me. He actually got angry because I asked for spousal support you know I am handicapped after all. I just can't believe these vampires are out there in their bat caves. He gutted me emotionally being crushed to death which I almost killed myself because of the f head thank God my divorce is over with I'm growing and moving on
I am so happy you got out of this safe and alive. I am truly wishing the best for you and your healing moving forward ❤
I was 36 years and he had me replaced in two weeks,in a way it helped me a bit because I realized he could not care less about me if I was so easy to replace that it angered me and oddly made me stronger.
@annbow4064 Gees two weeks, I just can't fathom being in a relationship like ours, 30 + years, and they are off looking for a new supply. But he is her problem now. In the long run, I got my sanity and my freedom back. Best of luck to you ❤️
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool Thank you so much, it's been a lot of work but I'm so much stronger.
It’s funny how so many women blame men. When they file take half and call everyone a narcissist. I don’t get it or believe them. I see nothing but men being destroyed. Txs
Come on ! We are not eternal… billions of people out tente, move on. Detach , let go with grace and move on. You will get there. Be happy alone , love yourself and keep giving love around. Just let go. They are not part of your destiny.
Love your videos Matthew. I have learned in past relationships no matter how much it hurts at the time, things always get better and a person comes along who can see your worth. If someone wants to leave never stop them. Wish them well and let the door close on them for ever. We can not make any one love us. They have to want to. I have had exes then try to come back later but never let them back. They had their chance.
@@JoshuaBaris-je6ws No story to tell really. Busy with life and Family micro management like every one. Work long 12hr shifts. Have a Family to raise and provide for.
Very good advice! I made the mistake of letting a long distance past love try to come back multiple times over the past 15 years and he recently hurt me again so I have to be done for good this time. I’m so tired of getting my heart ripped out and I’m learning how to set strong boundaries.
@@MelModica It is never to late to reflect and realise some People will never change and will only hurt again if let back into our lives. You deserve someone who values you and respects you and will be Privileged to have you in their life.
My wife just walked out on me for another guy and moved straight into his house. I’m broken thank you for this video.
Hi there my husband left and moved straight in with the girl,he was so comfortable doing that it means that I have been in the dark for a long time, people don't just move in together,they must know each other very well,12 years later his crying over stupid decisions he made ,but I'm much happier now without him, you'll get there give yourself time , hope everything works out for you
Wish him good luck. That's a trainwreck.
Went trought that 4 months ago she suddenly left me and i could not see any red flags after 5yrs of relationship and with a daughter. Only after 1 month of wanting to break up i confronted her and she told she had feelings for someone else. She basically destroyed me and i went trought psychologjst coz i was having suicidal toughts. It was very very hard on me coz i truly loved her. Now im building myself up getting in shape and doing things i like with me and my daughter. I still love her to this day but having her back isnt an option, she betrayed me and lost all my respect. "They dont know me, son" and ill be rising up from this stronger than i ever been. Stay strong, time is the only cure.
Oh my gosh, Matthew.. it is so validating to hear you speak how someone can suffer constantly from anxiety and pain in a relationship, not being able to tell anyone about it, just fighting with it alone daily.. that was my reality for almost a year and now he just abruptly broke our connection. Im devastated.
Me too,same thing
Well, good. Good riddance. Wake up and recognise bullet dodged.
3 years here. I feel broken. It's a beautiful video but it can't reach me, I'm too overwhelmed with loss
@@noemihere i can imagine.. hold on, that's the only thimg we can do. send you a hug.
I am sorry this happened to you...i wish you the best in your healing ❤
This video has 130k views in 4 weeks.
You're not alone, even though it definitely feels like it.
I've been fighting this pain every single day since I decided to take a break from dating.
I couldn't put my finger on it at all, and your analogy and words were on the money.
I thought I was giving up on love but I decided and chose to not give up on me. That's the difference I wasn't seeing.
I'm not tempted by things to fill my ego. I feel it in my heart, that all I want in the world is to heal. For the first time I'm doing it right.
Watching this, makes me think about how I spent 12 almost 13 years with someone I was thinking about marrying, after discovering she had been lying about the paternity of the three children I thought we had together. Opening those envelopes and seeing the results were the worse moments of my life, I felt like I had failed and couldn’t wrap my head around where things had gone wrong. I still have those thoughts to this day but I made the decision lately to see the good in each day and it’s getting easier to move forward.
Damn brother that's crazy.
Wish you all the best moving forward.
Stay up brother
I am going through this now! It was extremely painful... What I did was embrace my pain and my need to grieve, accept that the relationship I was in was rejected, and try to take care of myself. Incompatibility or a change in his emotions or the fact that the way we evolved was not compatible, has nothing to do with me or my ego. Focusing on our Ego can make us jump to unnecessary and painful conclusions.
This video is applicable to all types of relationships, not just romantic. Thank you for being you, Matthew 😭
the fact u have to make a comment about it says everything! of course it is. no one would have doubt it. but you making a comment about it tells me you need attention on this topic!
You’ve got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
You’ve got such a charming grin that indeed God gives you each chance to smile.
I’m going through this right now. He’s never sure about me since the beginning but I was keeping on hoping. Even though he’s a great guy and threat me respectfully, he told me he fears of missing out, that me might meet someone else better, that he didn’t always feel good around me.
Luckily, it was over right now after we went back and forth so many times. Glad that I’m finally able to let him go and he has the balls to say what he wants.
I’m appreciate your video a lot for putting an effort this video, Mathew. ❤
I'm sorry you experienced that! It's unfair when someone flip flops on their emotions. I wish you the best in your healing ❤
Higher spirits are horrified at how much unnecessary heartbreak is just everywhere. People treating others like they are disposable. It's not meant to be like this. Im way too damaged to probably ever be in a relationship again. It's too scary to think i could ever feel as bad as i did. 2.5 yrs later and it still making an impact.
I’m leaving my comment so that I could remind myself of what I’m going through.
In my case he broke up due to long distance and I agreed . I was his first relationship he treated me the best . Being in love ,the friendship everything was best until he gave up on me . A part of me died a little that day. But the worse was yet to come he found a rebound within one month of us breaking up. That thing broke shattered whatever remains of my already broken heart. It’s been terrible and it’s been two days since I last contacted him . I’m grieving,continuously crying but I want to heal myself before I jump onto another person. I still love him I can’t help that .
Hang in there.
My ex moved on after 2 days!
Moved on physically anyway.
It crushed me. I cried every day for several months. But over time I am healing.
It’s been 5 years and I’m mostly at peace but it took a solid 18 months from the breakup to start to really let her go.
@@lb2696 aww sorry to hear that..but I’m glad u are fine now . I’m still healing miss him a lot but I guess it’s the letting go of the hope slowly and gradually that’s helping me a little. I miss him every day but I think we both deserve better him with someone who’s near him and I someone who’s gonna keep choosing me like how I will do the same . So I’m trying to make amends and focus on getting my masters and career goals achieved.
I think this is a sign .because I started going back to those feelings
same
Me too!!
I was in relationship with her for 26 years and 7months ago I was discarded by her for another woman that was a deadly blow to my soul
Wish everyone who are seeing this video will get recover as fast as possible. It’s pain, it brings us negative energy, it ruins our happiness and makes us live in regret. It keeps us wake up at night and shed the tears. But time will heal the wound. We need to accept that he/she is not the one for us. We just borrowed his/ her from someone else. Our soulmate is waiting us ahead.
It doesn’t seem like everyone has a partner in every life.
It's been more than three years I am still stuck in the memory loop, but this video helped me thanks.
Pray for all the soldiers
I broke up with him only after he kept breaking Me. Many times.
I want this pain to end.
I can't stop crying. I just wanted peace with him.
I really really needed to hear this today! Currently recovering from a breakup of a 3.5 year long relationship. Time to slay the dragon within ❤ thank you for reminding me!
❤god bless you
Me too how can I contact you 😢
• Yesterday was my birthday. She didn’t reach out to say even a simple “Happy Birthday” after 80 days of No Contact…
For me that was too disrespectful, so I put the last nail in my coffin of hope and today I put my Viber in “Offline” mode, I went to the gym again for the first time after our breakup, and I let myself feel the gazes of other women for the first time since the day I met her..
I think it's time to move on, even though I still love her like crazy !!! Stay strong. Greetings from GREECE.
To all my heartbroken Brothers and Sisters. Be strong. Yes, you are worth it. Reflect, work, become better for yourself and love again
18 years ago, even to this day, I still love the same girl that tore me apart. Within that 18 years I managed to do the slay dragon's process. I grew inside of myself; I became very powerful. I followed my passion and became a SWAT police officer and working on a college degree. I became financially stable in my career, own my own home and vehicles, money in the bank, and still.... I have not moved on. I certainly have become a better person. But I still think about her on a regular basis. I am still unmarried and still no children at 38 years old.
You must let go! You love her because she reflected YOU, back onto you…you loved yourself…she reflected you; she is not that person, trust me! Been through it myself, it is hard to grasp yes, but still a fact…Good Luck❤️🩹
18 years is crazy... is she already married?
Oh, gosh..
"My ego is not my amigo" - BMTH 🤘
Thanks for this video, I really needed to hear this. 🤗 Just ended an almost 9y relationship with my first love, with one break of 6 months with no contact. We couldn't commit rn, we have different love languages and needs. I showed unconditional love by letting him go so we could heal ourselves. But I'm so scared I'm gonna see him giving everything I ever wanted and needed to someone else. 🥺
I am so sorry you are going through this. But I promise you, you are worth so much more. And yes , you can worry about him showing someone else affection.. but .. he is standing in the way of you finding the “love your life”.
Hey @renee. How are you doing right now ? How does it feel ?
May be reconciling and better communication
My fellow Bring Me The Horizon fan ❤
Yup totally and utterly crushed , 4 years later and I still wake up every day having the same pain
To those having heartbreak and reading the comment below: Not everyone has compassion, don’t listen to ‘kevin’, a breakup does not mean that they never valued you. That comment only comes from a hurt soul, thats not your life.
I now know the term of my feeling is called "ego death", and it's by far the worst, most horrific feeling I've ever felt in my life. It is literally hell, but now I'm going to focus on my own growth. Thanks, Matthew!
I have been through a very similar experience. Something like that completely shatters you. We just have to remember that we always have to stand back up on our own feet and use this kind of trauma as a catalyst for change and growth. We do get better in time. What I found out though is that trust remains an issue. We can't trust others and ourselfs anymore. We emotionally shut down in a way in order to protect ourselfs. I am still working on that. Unfortunately I have no idea how to solve it.
It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. My ex wife told me she has met someone else 17 hours ago, and it hurts. What was described in this video is almost exactly what I'm going through. We were together for 20 years, and whilst it wasn't perfect, I was in love. We split a year ago, her choice, but to find out she's met someone has hit me harder than the initial breakup. In the brief conversation we had, I was already compared to him, my shortcomings laid out. It's been such a blow, I'm struggling to cope with it. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, I didn't expect that would be achieved with someone else. Thank you for the advice.
Fearing this happening has kept me in unhealthy relationships for far too long. I am dreading they'll be completely different and loving to someone else.
I’m going through the same thing now after a long relationship and I don’t know what to do with myself
This was amazing I love your videos.I’m actually living proof of everything you said!!! 10 months ago when he left I thought I was going to die, it physically hurt my heart and I was so mentally drained and today I’m in better shape than I ever was, working with a therapist reading way videos brought me through that tunnel to the light! I’m a better stronger me and I’m not young, just wish I had l this years ago! Anyone who’s just going through this I can tell you it 💯 gets better but you need to get motivated!!!! ❤
This is happening right now! 😭 Can't sleep, eat or function . Absolutely devastated
Same here
@@comparecards5688 I'm sorry for your pain. At least we know it's not something wrong with us individually and that we are all suffering with this pain. Take care
I am, as well. After a 6-yr relationship. 💔😪
I'm with you rn. totally devastated, suffering anxiety and panic attacks.. hell.
@@gala2103 it's horrendous. It's actually sore! I'm suffering so bad right now too. Just get through minute by minute as best you can. My wishes are with you all 🙏❤️
I just sent a reply email to him, three days after his nasty reply to my call for closure, more than a year after he blindsided me. Six months after that, he started seeing one of the many women in his life that we fought over, in therapy, no less.
I’m still crying. Still having dreams. Still missing his dog as she’s getting even older.
Thank goodness I’m not suffering AS badly now, and have even made attempts at dating other men.
But I don’t feel as if we’re completely over, and that concerns me.
This makes me cry right now. Goddammit so sad. She discarded me like that 3 months ago. Broke me to the core of my soul
Damn! I want to go to this retreat it looks like the "happiest" times of some peoples lives, you are a great speaker & healer and thank you so much for what you are doing & how you are helping me, I tell people in my situation to listen to you as well.
Mathew, you’ve put out a thought that most of us have and struggle with unconsciously - and you put it forward so eloquently and kindly. The work you do really is remarkable and the sincerity always shines through in your videos. Thank you ♥️
I found out from her that after we broke up, she moved on within a couple of weeks. We hadn't spoken in the last two years, but we reconnected in the most random of places. Found out she met this really nice dude, and left her abusive family I couldn't get her away from. All I wanted to know was that she was happy and safe. That was good enough for me, even if it hurt to know that several years was replaced that quick. I loved her, and as long as she's okay, I'm happy and will be happier as time goes on. That's all there is to it. Just keep moving and living.
"The person that cares less is the person in power. ".... Someone told me that, and if I have another chance (i knowi will), things are going to be really different
...😢
Matt, your videos helped me so much when I was going through a tough break-up a few months ago. And your advice is always so valuable and genuine. I really appreciate the work that you (and of course your team) do. THANK YOU!!!
Thank you Matthew!!! You're an inspiration to new soul searching, re-building self esteem and getting ourselves through dark tunnels and into the light again!!! THANK YOU!!!
She said i wasn't good enough for me... She moved on... She is happy without me...
Maybe we could've worked it around but she don't care... It literally crushed my heart... I really don't know how to cope with it
We reap what we sow. When we do people dirty, it always comes back to us. I've even had my own karma to want to hurt a guy who hurt me. All it did was head me to a place of self-destruction. Later down the road, I repented to God and asked him constantly to take the pain away from me. God, actually, after a year 1/2, God gave me a breakthrough of breaking the emotional tie I was still very much connected to him. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾. Now I no longer long for him want to see him, and it's an awesome feeling! Whoever is going thru keep praying, don't stop! God will give you your breakthrough when you least expect it & I will be praying for you as well 🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿
Thank you! Your message here reinforces and motivates me to move on more and more everyday after a bad breakup 3 months ago.
Wow, I'm happy that I've watched this video Matt. I've been going through this and am sick of it but could not put a finger where all this is coming from and now I know it's my ego that kept sabotaging me from letting go. Now i know, thanks a lot.😊
Working with your ex is a whole new level of pain..
This makes me sad to feel like this for so many years, but also a little comforting because I know I’m not alone ❤ guys let’s make 2024 our year to finally move on
Gosh! I needed to hear this. I didn’t think I needed more help here but this is so validating what I went thru these past 2 yrs.
I’ve grown sooo much and now I know why. I had ego death. I was going thru exactly what you said. Everything…
But now I’m happier than before and not needing a man to make me happy.
Now to tackle the trust issues I have and not be scared of dating
You got this! build up self-trust to lessen the trust wounds. Set out yoru red flags and non-negotiables and honour them no matter what. Speak up when something isn't right and you need to set a boundary Request for needs to be met and see if the other person is willing to see them through. See if they are congruent with their actions lining up with their words! Good luck ❤
@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool thank you
Happened to me 33 years ago. He broke up with me after 6 years and promptly turned around and got married within a year. It took me a while to recover, but I finally decided to live my life to the max in spite of what happened. I moved to another state, I finished college, I travel extensively, got married, worked hard, and now we are retired at 53. To my surprise I got a written apology from him in 2017, and I accepted his apology. It is all water under the bridge now. It seems like it is the end of the world, but God is just making an adjustment in your life for the better. It just was not meant to be.
I'm glad you were able to move and get married yourself
one of the best and very needed videos…keep watching it over and over again…made me cry too…very powerful
It’s sad how love started to be a game