A-fuckin-men. The whole conundrum of my break up was that I knew it was gonna end at some point, but when it did, it still kind of hurt 😂😂😂 and then I ended being treated like the doormat in the end
That's why it's so important that you love yourself and let God be the head of your life because that is where you overcome these things by the blood of the Lamb
Go no contact for you. Do not be a child and complain, let her (or him) have their space. Take the time to reflect and grow, set boundaries and give them PATIENCE when they come back. Do not chase, and do not fret if they leave. Be at peace and stay calm, listen to good music and enjoy life.
This right here the left don’t let them come back took me 7 yrs to learn this I we would break up get back together now I don’t even desire to be with her
NO CONTACT is honestly a phase where "ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORD'S" is tested. And truth be told, if you've been the one who took the hurt than hurt someone, trust me....This No contact will be a fun ride. You'll realise WHAT you lost. They'll realise WHO THEY LOST. This NO CONTACT is a Glow Up Season People ✨🍸
That's a great uplift brother! Thank you.We was together almost 10 years and it was a roller-coaster ride! But I stuck it out and put up with her unpredictable bad behavior to show unconditional love for her and she's an alcoholic.I didn't want to inherit an alcoholic especially when she refused to get help and this is why I never married her but was inching towards that.I took her everywhere and always paid for everything to include her entire wardrobe furnished her place at her grandparents home, groceries weekly ect.She could've gained a military I.D. card with full benefits and the list is endless! I'm financially comfortable and all.She dated 2 weeks after she told me goodbye for no reason! She has no job,car lives with grandparents,owes alot of money ect.and I'm the piece of shit??? HER LOSS!! She will regret leaving me.
No contact and he just started following my telegram channel but yet stopped watching my IG stories and unfriended me on IG yesterday … make it make Sense ?!
@@williamgonzo1832why would you want someone who have no goals, no job, living off people?She’s a user and as long as people paying her way she will never learn. An alcoholic is not wifey material😮
It's just crazy to me that someone you were about to marry & almost shared a child with acts like you never happened! Painful, but you gotta keep living.
Damm thats me,we got engaged September 2023 ,we've got a beautiful 4year old girl ,planned to get married at the end 2024 ,all of a sudden in January 2024 she dumped me ,I was like wao .
It is crazy but necessary sometimes. I was looking at rings/ talking about marriage with my partner but found out he was running around with other women (multiple!)… I HAD to end it and completely disconnect cause the betrayal was huge. Sometimes there’s a good reason and it’s not being cold or heartless.
@@godsson2681You can make it through this. And, you will be happier without their constant negativity ringing in your mind. It can help to put all the happy and hopeful memories of your ex into an album in your mind. And, file that album under “The Past.” Then, every time you want to revisit some of those memories, go ahead. But, you will remind yourself that these are only happy memories of the past. They do not represent the relationship as a whole. These memories do not represent your future because your future belongs to you, now.
No contact means move on with your life... You pick up where you left off, first one is always free until those old behaviors show back up simply because they never left 💯. Starting a no contact just to get your ex back will not ever work in your favor. You are no longer on that level and this will only stack your pain. Feel what you need to feel, cry your tears cleanses your soul. No contact whatsoever is not something to be played with, cross that bridge of pain and get to the other side, move on with your life please 🙏. Love and Light
I believe that. I will wait and see if she wakes up or not. She does have some mental issues. Out burst of anger . Collect things like plastic bags. Old food 5 year on shelf. Molding food in refrigerator. Etc
I’m six weeks into no contact and listen to your videos every day to help give me the guidance that I desperately need. I am hoping and praying that she comes back, but my focus is purely on me. To better myself in every way, and work on the things that I need to work on for me. If she decides to come back that’s awesome if she doesn’t then I’m still going to be the best me that I can be. Thank you Coach for all the wisdom you share with us.
Thanks bro. Im right there with casey. I bet we r good guys and bad boys . Hearts of gold.. and great father potential. We all make mistakes but we all dont get up, repent , ,make ammends, Grow in love , strengthen and move in our masculine.
I needed to hear that last part. GOLD. “it is bait, they are baiting you, do not fall for it do not chase” Seriously needed to hear it because we’re in a weak position where when they come back all we want to do is accept them but we need to have the strength to respect ourselves better. Please make more videos on moving on after still being in love. It’s so hard. The grief stage. The confusing thoughts etc Thank you for this
Keep loving in general even if your heart has been ripped out. love is more powerful than anything don’t worry everything will be ok and if you feel it isn’t hug yourself because it is my friend. you’re not alone keep pushing i promise life is truly grand and beautiful especially with you in it!
He talks slowly like someone old and wise giving advice they know to be true. Only a few other coaches: Lee, Winters, Lovechat, and Ken got that smooth delivery that make you feel like they're the parents you wish you had. The others would make me an avoidant.
Instead of waiting around for your ex to comeback, just move on and meet new people, the same feelings you had for him/her, you can have for another person. In the moment it seems like he/she is your end all be all, but remember, you probably felt that way about several other people you’ve been with. 🤷🏾
Or you can just not tell people what to do. You have absolutely no right to tell people what relationships they've had that are worth keeping. Don't do it again.
@@ximenachavez-dq8gjI didn’t tell anyone what to do, I simply commented an opinion in response to a video. No wonder your ex doesn’t want to come back, a UA-cam opinion triggers you emotionally like that ?! 😂
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
Acknowledge your emotions. Feel them. Let them go. FEELINGS are temporary. Find something to occupy your thoughts and time. ( Ex Happy music, a book, a walk, change of settings). LIVE. Repeat this process as often as you must. There is no time factor to YOUR healing. I've been where you are, thought I wouldn't be able to function. BAYYYYBEEE- Let me tell you, time stood still. Time did not move quickly enough. I lost weight, depression was real. It was not easy..HOWEVER, time went by and my days became easier to move through. My nights became easier to sleep through. I called out and the universe acknowledged- IT WAS MY TIME TO SHINE! I am not complete without me. Another person will never make me whole. I learnt fro. my lesson and apply it accordingly. Life is to be lived. Love never leaves, nor is it supposed to be hard. Live is patient and understanding. Put on your crown, head held high. THIS TOO SHALL PASS..WITH LOVE, SENDING HEALING, WHOLESOME ENERGY🤍🤍
Your not alone I’m interested in the topic but after 7 yrs of on and off with her I no longer desire her I’m happy and at peace now seeing and dating other women
@@quitpocketwatchingme I feel you. After trying to make It work with my ex several time, I knew I had to just break it off. Which was the right choice since I found me a great girl. Safe to say I'm also happy now. But it did take a solid year to fully mourn that relationship.
Nope!!! The peace that comes from being off a toxic relationship. No hear palpitations of the next hey wrecking message your partner will send. Just block and have peace
My ex came back after 6 months, 4 months NC. I broke NC once at the start, then went full NC. She reached out saying she's seeing someone else and if we could be friends. I said no. She went out the country for a month, and when she returned, she got in contact with me after 6 months of not seeing her. She wanted to meet up, whereby she said she made a big mistake and still loves me. I was weak and we were intimate with each other, but deep down, I resent her. I resent her for leaving me in the first place, for saying she was with someone else only to backtrack, and for not changing or working on her attachment style (whereas I've been putting in the work every day). She's going through a lot at the moment, but I plan to call her out on everything and see how she reacts. Stay NC people, it works if your connection to your ex is strong.
Very similar to my situ except we didn’t get intimate. He came back after the 4 months & said he was thinking of me and only wished me good things. I responded very politely and even joked a bit. I told him if friendship is want you want I have no hard feelings towards you. He said I gave him lots of confidence and thanked me. We’ve been sort of texting now, but it’s really slow and weeks go by. We’re “friends” but that’s not something I want and I don’t act like one. When we began to date, we were friends as well. So idk it’s weird.
What if your ex has never stopped contacting you, even if you try to ignore her or not respond she still tries. And when you do respond or even meet she disappears but then comes back. It’s been 8 months post break up. It’s like she’s just holding on to my shadow and that’s enough
I like your approach, "We can get through anything." I wish more people saw it this way. Some people feel that when it gets too hard they just have to run. Those are the avoidant types. It's very toxic. They run when you simply want to communicate which is what will HEAL the relationship.
My ex GF was scenario 3. After 4 weeks of NC, she emailed me, telling me how I was everything she ever wanted in a man, kind, caring, thoughtful, loving. She told me how I'm a wonderful dad, not only to my chikdren, but to hers. She saidnshe missed me, missed us, emotionally and physically. I ran right back, said I'd try again, but that she had to try, she had to change things, or there is no point. We lasted 3 weeks, in which we only went out once as a couple and once as a family, both of which were amazing, but she held back, made no effort, then said things didnt feel the same. I was heartbroken once again. I gave her back all the pics, the beautiful things she'd made me, given me, it was too painful to see and hold onto, and I drove away. Im missing her so much, and caved yesterday and messged her, begging. Pathetic really, and shes not bothered to respond. Wish id seen these vids and had more strength, more self respect than letting her win, feeding her ego. 😢
it’s not pathetic at all! forgive yourself and just don’t be fooled to get roped in again. it’s human to want to be loved and it’s also a form of addiction
1 year of NC. I dunno why I am writing this, I moved on already. Xd But, she never reached out, she left me. I’m good, I am a virgin again, life is good. I feel amazing. Ready to fly
I'm not sure what just happened, but I just started no contact and feeling a sense of relief, safety, freedom, sleep. There's a sense of being grateful that I don't have to hear this person speak anymore. Am I in denial or in some short term delusional phase of happy? I always felt uneasy, and anger, and confusion with this guy.
@nikar8509 here I am 8 months later going through something yet again with the same guy behind our child. Ion know why but I let this man get access to our daughter, and low and behold, he decided I can't talk to her unless he likes my attitude on the phone.
They never want you back until you move on and by then its too late..Dismissive Avoidants play a dangerous game. They are very reckless and cold blooded..thats just not who i am..i value myself and i strive to treat people righteously
It’s been 12 months since the break up. We had an engagement. We had some contacts mostly logistics, her things and so on. The contact was 3 months ago. She messaged me for my bday. I had waited for so long for a messaged and hoping to hear from her but when I got my bday message. I simple said thanks hope you are well. That’s it. Work on you, move on. I really thought she was my person too.
I lost my job and had to figure out my life. She started to become distant, I was leaning in relationship too much and getting anxious I can loose also her. She broke up with me 3 months later. I begged, cried, chased. Get angry and frustrated. Felt into pieces and depression. She blocked me everywhere and said she dobt want nothing to do with me. Few months later I made first milion out of nothing. Its amazing, like universe gave me this to experience full spectrum of life. I perceive this also as a test for her and me, if she deserve what's coming. I would never believe things like this are real. Feel lonely now. Thinking how to find good woman now and open myself and not get hurt again
Bro this is spot on. I initiated ghost protocol 9 days ago. Since then she has completed every step you outlined except showing up at my spot because I literally moved. I watched this video today and this afternoon recieved the blame text and the I am sorry text.
I have been dumped after being with him for 3 yr . His way of teaching me a lesson was by Getting back on the dating app and liking one of my best friend’s friend. I keep on going through ups and downs and trying to make sense of what happened and how I can move on and learn from it. You sharing your wisdom has absolutely saved me from loosing the little dignity I have left. Thank you so so much. Please keep on posting… I will be watching 😊
All my brothas in this struggle keep shining in the dark I know it’s hard but we gon make it through I know we want them back but show them how we move and what you’re capable of shine on them get that money up, workout, and strive for you passionate about im six weeks in NC and am grinding y’all so the same best of luck fellas 💯
Feel this bro. Photo Booth. Bowling. People changing. I messed up bad with attachment styles and other things that affected how I was. I broke both of our hearts.
It was dope that I seen this! I think the no contact brings up so many things! I love the way you described the rejection and abandonment feelings. It’s so empowering to chose myself. Gratitude for this reminder! Powerful
i am amazed at how mang people are going though break up I am not alone in you I have found a support group I was feeling so broken but getting better each day
My ex reconnected with me. Said out of the 2yrs we stopped speaking, she always looked at her emails to see if I wrote her. I was the best this and that....then she ghosts me again. .......i aint got time for the childish games. A big part of me wants to text and give her a piece of my mind. But then i say, why bother with someone who doesnt value you
Going through this right now. Felt like i lost the love of my life. Feel like i just want to block him, but will feel guilty doing so...but i know I need to get over him
He sent me a video reminiscing in a beautiful country pub saying he's moved there. This was something we were going to do together. Another huge blow after 3mths no contact. I didn't reply. I've been working on myself and moving forward. I'm so glad I didn't reply. Not a word since. It's been 6 weeks since last txt. What doesn't help is he's a functioning alcoholic. He was a good loving man ... all a shame. Anyway good luck guys. Thanks coach. Another great video 🙏🏻❤️
I’m going on 2 months, my ex still watches my stories but just know those little signs could be nothing, stay in control, don’t reach out! only reply if necessary. Over time the pain will go away. You will always miss her but the tears will go away. I Pray for the best for you 💪
This video resonates with me. Yes the pain of the breakup hurts. I love love and love hard. I am still choose to live my life. Because he somehow gave up on us. I want and deserve someone that chooses me all the time and not some times. I have been in no contact 1month and 2 weeks to be exact. I love him but I love me more and my time and the woman I am deserves so much more. I been on journey on healing and growth. It's like a weight has been lifted.
I'm not sure why this popped up in my algorithm, but the things I have learned are this....Reject yourself of injury, and the injury disappears. If you chase, it will flee from you. If you attract, it will have no other choice but to magnitize. When you truly and deeply love someone, it is not that they have loved you in return, but that they have learned to love themselves more. It is not respectful to hold anyone hostage to our expectation of filling our love tank, no one person is even capable. If it comes from within first and we know who we are and where we are going, then love comes to us freely. For we do not get what we want, rather what we are. If I want love, I must first become it. Our minds can either be our greatest enemy or our most powerful weapon. Know who you are and stand with both feet fitted firmly on the ground, occupying it with power and dominion. Oh, what freedom.
Been in NC for 1 month each week she sends me quotes and pictures of our dog, reacting to old messages and messaging hope im doing well etc. all insignificant!
If you ever do a sequel to this video, here’s scenario 4: Your ex blames you for a lot of things but also takes some ownership for their part yet is unable/not willing to work on things & concludes you shouldn’t be together yet wants to be friends. Acknowledge there were challenges on both sides & you both could’ve done things differently, but healthy conflict resolution takes two, and if that’s not possible, you respect their decision & wish them all the best, ending with something like if they want to work on things in the future, to reach out. Address their offer of friendship by saying something like you’ll consider it but then go back into NC to work on yourself & evaluate if friendship is really something that you could be happy with. Continue NC either until they reach out or until you’ve healed enough to give them one text as an olive branch (because many dismissive avoidants won’t be the first to reach out during NC).
5-6 weeks no contact she only a message for my happy bday to which I said thank you for the thoughts and no contact goes on….if she decides to give it another go “ok let’s give it a go” if not “I will become 10x either way” All the best to her ❤️
I don’t know why everyone so desperate to get their exes back 😂 bro they left you! They made a choice to leave you, instead of working towards fixing things… they chose to leave! Close the fucking door and move on. Have some self respect.
Mehn! You just sparked something in me. So true, they left you, so, you’re not their captive. Much as it hurts, you get to dictate your own life & curate the love that you want with the person that God brings next into your life.
I feel the necessity to congratulate you for being SO HONEST. And admitting that you made yourself in the past all these mistakes that one MATURE man mustn't.
Thank you so for these videos. im in no contact for the second time and realize i went by it the wrong way the first time. But this is keeping me going... Im a great women and i refuse to settle for less!
Not all dumpers are bad, many also do it because they found their strenght to leave after giving their all in the relationship yet was mistreated and did not feel valued by their avoidant dismissive partner. At some point you have to accept they will never love you an leave.
Mine left me because in the beginning, she seemed like the secure type and I seemed anxious in general (not avoidant, just anxious). The more we got to know each other, the more comfortable I got and things were seemingly going well. She dumped me 48 hours after our most emotional, intimate night we had together (in a good way) completely out of nowhere. I was blindsided, absolutely gutted over it, but a few days later, she reached out to me to explain that she was basically masking an avoidant, anxious, jealous, insecure attachment style that was brought on by a childhood raised in a dysfunctional home followed by 10 years of extremely toxic, bordering on emotionally abusive relationships. This all happened about 2 weeks ago, was doing great with no contact until I caved completely out of nowhere yesterday while I was at work. I saw something that reminded me of her and sent her an audio message asking basically if we could grab a coffee or go on a walk so I could get some closure and she left me on read, never heard back (but my friends said she’s posting on social media like crazy). I’m still hurt that even with how close we were, she couldn’t do it to my face when I’ve never showed even the slightest bit if aggression or anger or hostility around her. I’ve actually been the calmest I’ve probably ever been around her. Two weeks before dumping me, she started therapy. She told me that she was going because “everyone can benefit from it.” The day she dumped me, she informed me that she had actually been going to “learn what a secure attachment style feels like” and if she’s capable of “changing” her own attachment style or can lean into a more secure one moving forward. This whole thing has been really rough for me. Despite it being one of the shorter times ive been romantically involved with someone, I fell for her harder than anyone else I’ve dated by far, like not even close. With all that said, I’m actually not at all mad at her or even myself for that matter and I’ve accepted the fate, though I can’t say that I’ve moved on yet (that’s going to be quite some time for me). I really just hope therapy helps her and she can be happier with herself and future partners because she is/was the most incredible woman I’ve ever met inside and out and it hurts me knowing she hurts inside too. She said she was utterly heartbroken over this, but she needs to do it because she can’t heal while she’s with me (probably because she views me as an enabler) and effectively told me that we would have an “expiration date” if we stuck things out. My god, what a fucking woman though 😔
My ex was mad at me. He left for about 6 weeks, he had told me he didn't love me anymore and didn't want to be with me. So i moved on. No contact for 6 weeks, then he showed up and came home, he sat in silence and he had moved his belongings into the other room. He had been seeing someone else. It was just a mess. I moved on. Its been 6 years and im still single and very happy. 😊😊
I needed this video last Thursday. My ex baited me and I fell for it. Only for her to respond that it’s still too much that happened. Lol she even stopped watching my instagram story.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
@@blacademicI'm in no contact a second time. (after I did it the first time he came to my house angry I went silent.. and he was cold after).I went back into no contact....on day 41 of no contact .he made a post on fb about " don't force a relationship and don't chase after ppl that arbt chasing you". Then he made a post about how " woman fall out of love as fast as they fall in love". Do you think this is a sign he is hurting?
@@blacademic I am in no contact a 2nd time. The first time I did it he got angry and came to my door. It's obvious he showed up for validation. I started no contact all over again. He made an angry post on Facebook about " you can't force a relationship and don't chase after people that arbt chasing after you." (I haven't chased him at all). Then he made a post about how " woman only love conditionally and fall out of love as fast as they fall in love". He made these particular posts after I made it look like I was out having a good time. Do you think in my case the no contact Is getting to him again?
@@blacademicif she broke up 1 month ago then köpt calling 2 Times per week but didnt want to meet then now 1 week ago she said she cares about me but isnt attracted and can be friends to take things slowly, have been in no contact since then, is this the right decision? Or should i accept to be friends to "get her slowly back" or is she using me as an backup if i do that
So true. There is so many things that come with relationship that you realize. You can show up and think that’s enough there are emotional intimacy. And as a man you don’t realize validation is key and how to communicate, childhood trauma, mental health, we are logical and try to fix it but you can’t fix it. It’s not up to you to fix.
Hello all, I found this channel and its gold. Thanks coach. It gives me so much strength. A few months ago she told me she had doubts about our relationship. She had not a specific reason. Just a feeling .. I was in panic and did everything to solve it. But she kept that feeling. She rather wants to be more with her friends and colleagues than with me. So frustrating. 2 weeks ago we broke up. But she also kept telling me she loves me and does not want without me in her life. I don't understand why this al happend. Last two months I wanted to do everything for her and I told her she could come back every time she wanted... So dumb. Now I know that what I did was wrong. I need to back up and go in NC. I will share my journey here from now on. Im in NC now for 48 hours. Thats already really hard. But I'll Keep grinding and try to be a better person. I will keep yall updated. Mannn the pain is so deep. I feel there is a future for us, hopefully its not to late. Keep up everybody ❤
It's been six months since she left, and on the 5th month her new affair ended. It was fun and games for her when she walked past me with her new guy, deep down I could see that this was just a rebound. Their energies weren't pure happiness. Saw her a couple of days ago and I could see the hurt in her eyes as we locked eyes. I still love this woman, but I can't come through as weak as she was the one that left. I'm not sure if I should attempt the affair or leave her period...
Thank you! Going through this now, the "I miss you" and asking questions about my life. I keep my answers short and sweet. Just giving him what he asked for. 🇨🇱
Thank you for this message!!! Thank you for doing the work to deliver this message!! God bless you! I’ve been praying and confused why my ex was texting me messages of anger. I accidentally clicked on this video while driving! I understand now
I am hurting so much. I gave my ex a second chance and again I moved from Texas to Minnesota. Just for him to tell me in my face “ I don’t want a relationship with you” after him bringing me all up here and giving me a promise. And now I’m still here with my ex.
Wonderful wisdom- thank you for sharing that story. This video helped me so much. Bittersweet and beautiful. I do deserve love. I will move on from this. Thank you for the encouragement.
I chased a woman who cheated on me for years yes years. She was my so called soul mate. She broke up with me to deal with a guy who she just was “talking too” long story short . I got her back after the other guy treated her like trash 🗑️ but all the begging long text me fighting for love over years got me only 9 months her being back n boom we broke up again . That was 5 years ago. Moral of the story don’t chase focus on your goals. No matter how hard you try when someone isn’t ready to receive your love don’t force it .
I must say I really enjoy listening and learning from you absolutely refreshing🙏🏾. Keep up the good work there’s so many silent listeners u are helping including me. God Bless u 🙏🏾
I never ever was in relationship til I was 32 years old. Now I'm 36+ years old and have no courage and passion for love again. Real love is rare. I loved her after knowing that fact that she had two serious love affair in her past. Still i thought she needed to be healed. And I did with all mg courage and love. Ahe broke me apart many times, I found my self victim al the time and she seemd having fun and good time with her friends. Oh God save me from this if you exists. I would never ever love again. But your video I found helpfull and hopeful. I dont want to be the first to break no contact. And wana make her kneel down and baging. I have many options to go with girl and have good time but for some reason don't know my heart never allow me to do that
I just got broken up with 3 days ago, in the exact same situation that you were in. Hung out with her for a few months, things felt perfect. And then towards the end she just started to disappear, and when I would bring it up she would deflect or just say she wasn’t ready for what I have to offer. And finally we were supposed to have a conversation to clear the air for good and instead she spent the day with her girls and went to a hotel room and partied, which made me very upset and I basically told her either you want me or you don’t. And she chose the second option. With not much explanation also, and in the following days I was fighting and trying to get her back and understand why. Yesterday she said she’s not ready again and I’m just gonna leave her alone, really hoping no contact works and she will realize what she had with me because I feel like she is the one I’ve been waiting for.
I took the bate! Before seeing this video. My ex blocked me months ago but reached out to my kids (which are not his) He told them he missed them and wanted to see them when he came back from vacation in Dubai. He also had a friend reach out to me asking me to contact him concerning my kids. I reached out and told him I didn’t think it was a good idea and that I also missed him and it would complicate things. He straight up told me ok then tell your kids YOU don’t think it’s a good idea that I see them. I found myself apologizing to him about everything hoping he would respond but no response. he got me!
My Ex wasnt use to a woman taking ownership and admitting fault. Whenever I would say something or react wrong. I would apologize and take accountability on why I was wrong..I was in therapy..and this blew his mind 😂 lol..after every argument even after we split, i took ownership right away in how i should have reacted better and offered him to explore in therapy with me to understand my triggers .this blew his mind 😂..we broke up and i never reached out again..but he did more than once explaining he never met a woman who actually took ownership and didnt know how to react, so he did what he knew best which was get mad and leave ...i still didnt take him back..he is still reaching out nw 4 yrs later..
This is exactly why he was mad bc I changed my mind about him moving in with me, I asked him to go to therapy with me and he wouldn’t, got mad and left 😂
Girl from the story was an avoidant haha. I thought exactly like you did like we can get through anything etc etc. my avoidant girlfriend broke up with me and left me for a coworker, but we’ve been on two dates that went AMAZINGLY bro your videos have helped me more than anything else online. The gottman institute steps was key for me THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
Wow . I just did that by accident. (Looked at a few pics of us that popped out! Everyone thought we were married. We had a connection. Now im aware of ALOT of this info u share. Enough to lead. Enough to give us a goal and a path. I have a God to help. But i cant reach her. 5 years. I love her . I needed support to . She emotionally wasnt able to. Skill she could learn same as the changes i have to make. I could and would learn. Gosh im where u were... love that u became who u are coach . Cas u help. Thank u
I’m relying on the fact that my ex and I had the immediate connection when we met where we felt like long time friends who beautifully pick up from where we left off after not seeing each other for a long time. We have been on NC for 2.5 months, he’s still dealing with a messy divorce, years of abuse where she kept him from his good siblings. So we disengaged completely. I pray we get back together.
I’ve dealt with more than one narcissist. If he’s dealing with you while going through a divorce, that’s a red flag. Many of the times, they make up stories about the women, and the new supply becomes a flying monkey for that person. Don’t be that new supply. Be wise, and never date a married man.
@@fortheladies771right she is condoning being a mistress and majority of the times women can't keep men from seeing their siblings what's up with this lady she is being played. He is the reason for the messy divorce.
I have the same experience, I had difficulties in my Ph.D. research and I expected my partner to understand me, to talk about issues, but he wanted to hang out with his friends and finally he thought the stress of my life is too much, and we broke up. I was the one who did the break up but I regreted. I contacted him again to ask to talk and solve everything together but he ignored my message and didnot respond. This is so sad! but I should accept it and move on.
@@mrs.camillewarrenempress3115 now I also believe that specially during tough times of my life, I can't have a partner because he just wanted to be with me in happiness over the moon times! Anyway, I move on and focus on my own life
I’m going to not let him near me anymore; having 2 men or almost 3 in my home trying to beat me up & that scared me; 1 of em is my baby daddy! He’s the first enemy I don’t want around me anymore! 😢❤🎉😮
You can't love yourself out of your need for romantic love indeed. But you really have got to value and respect yourself. This is really crucial. No matter how much losing someone or cutting off or letting them go hurts. Who have got to have your own back.
Its been 3 months no contact and she still hasnt even open my texts messages i sent before i did no contact. She would never post selfies of herself during our 5 year relationship. Now she does more than once in a while. She seems happy and very happy.
So right man! This is exactly what is happening with my ex. She has a new boyfriend but she meets for a closure meet up in bar and within 1hr she trying to hold my hand, stroking my hair, trying to cuddle. 4 hours in we decide to depart and i can tell she's off to stay with her new boyfriend. Following this meet up within 7 days she's asking am i enjoying Berlin and can i send a picture. I followed this with a polite loving message suggesting we break contact for a while so we can both progress on our individual paths. Silence since which is good 👍
Interesting. I got that long text saying "I will always love you, but we can never be together" and I've been trying to figure out what that's all about, so thank you
I haven’t heard from the man I love for more I know he has been in a rebound relationship I feel it in my soul. 😢 My concern is it’s been 5 months and his family I love much keep checking post I make on social media. It use to be him but now brother, nieces and sister🤷🏾♀️ No contact all the way with everyone. I miss and love them all so much 😢😢😢
As much as it breaks the heart you cannot make someone love you. It's one of the most difficult realities of life to accept.
A-fuckin-men. The whole conundrum of my break up was that I knew it was gonna end at some point, but when it did, it still kind of hurt 😂😂😂 and then I ended being treated like the doormat in the end
A thousand 💯....My soul is killing me, but I can't be his option when it's convenient...
Now imagine if you both actually love each other, but he thought it wouldnt work out because my family was pressuring him too soon for marriage
That's why it's so important that you love yourself and let God be the head of your life because that is where you overcome these things by the blood of the Lamb
100% factual
Go no contact for you. Do not be a child and complain, let her (or him) have their space. Take the time to reflect and grow, set boundaries and give them PATIENCE when they come back. Do not chase, and do not fret if they leave. Be at peace and stay calm, listen to good music and enjoy life.
Easier said than done
Realistic advice ever
Best advice I’ve ever been told thank you!
@@PrashantSingh-rp6mfit’s always easier said then done just take it slow there’s no rush be patient everything will be ok
That’s exactly what I’m doing 😂😂
😢Who cares if there hurting or not ! They didn't care all the times they hurt you & continued to do so!
Right
That's right!
This right here the left don’t let them come back took me 7 yrs to learn this I we would break up get back together now I don’t even desire to be with her
I guess sometimes, if the other person hurting too, it implies that they care. And it sooths our feelings of insignificance...
NO CONTACT is honestly a phase where "ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORD'S" is tested. And truth be told, if you've been the one who took the hurt than hurt someone, trust me....This No contact will be a fun ride. You'll realise WHAT you lost. They'll realise WHO THEY LOST. This NO CONTACT is a Glow Up Season People ✨🍸
That's a great uplift brother! Thank you.We was together almost 10 years and it was a roller-coaster ride! But I stuck it out and put up with her unpredictable bad behavior to show unconditional love for her and she's an alcoholic.I didn't want to inherit an alcoholic especially when she refused to get help and this is why I never married her but was inching towards that.I took her everywhere and always paid for everything to include her entire wardrobe furnished her place at her grandparents home, groceries weekly ect.She could've gained a military I.D. card with full benefits and the list is endless! I'm financially comfortable and all.She dated 2 weeks after she told me goodbye for no reason! She has no job,car lives with grandparents,owes alot of money ect.and I'm the piece of shit??? HER LOSS!! She will regret leaving me.
I really needed to hear this today. Thank you!
Talk your shit pastor 🙌🏾💚
No contact and he just started following my telegram channel but yet stopped watching my IG stories and unfriended me on IG yesterday … make it make
Sense ?!
@@williamgonzo1832why would you want someone who have no goals, no job, living off people?She’s a user and as long as people paying her way she will never learn. An alcoholic is not wifey material😮
One good way to keep yourself occupied while trying no contact is to watch this guy's videos lol
Fr 😅
making me feel better
I been watching plenty for healing and strength
It's just crazy to me that someone you were about to marry & almost shared a child with acts like you never happened! Painful, but you gotta keep living.
Drop them like they dropped you… and they realize …. Wait a minute I wasn’t as big a deal as I thought I was.
Damm thats me,we got engaged September 2023 ,we've got a beautiful 4year old girl ,planned to get married at the end 2024 ,all of a sudden in January 2024 she dumped me ,I was like wao .
I’m going thru this RIGHT NOW!!!!
It is crazy but necessary sometimes. I was looking at rings/ talking about marriage with my partner but found out he was running around with other women (multiple!)… I HAD to end it and completely disconnect cause the betrayal was huge. Sometimes there’s a good reason and it’s not being cold or heartless.
@@godsson2681You can make it through this. And, you will be happier without their constant negativity ringing in your mind.
It can help to put all the happy and hopeful memories of your ex into an album in your mind. And, file that album under “The Past.”
Then, every time you want to revisit some of those memories, go ahead. But, you will remind yourself that these are only happy memories of the past. They do not represent the relationship as a whole. These memories do not represent your future because your future belongs to you, now.
All of our exes gonna come back trust 💯
I thought so too, not mine…but do I want him back? if whoever he’s wit can make him betray our marriage they can have him.
Not all some move on and marry
Nahh man i m toxic asf they run and are happier after me 😂
@@EveryBodyCare If you were good to them, they absolutely try to return, even if it’s years later
@@fortheladies771 we’ll see. Iletcha know, if and when he returns. Doesn’t mean I’ll be available though.
In a week someone showed me what was not being given in 4 years. No contact is a time for healing
That’s called limerance.
It didn't go well? Hope and prayers out, nobody deserves not to get a second chance
The situations leave you feeling worthless and devalued!!
No contact means move on with your life...
You pick up where you left off, first one is always free until those old behaviors show back up simply because they never left 💯.
Starting a no contact just to get your ex back will not ever work in your favor. You are no longer on that level and this will only stack your pain.
Feel what you need to feel, cry your tears cleanses your soul.
No contact whatsoever is not something to be played with, cross that bridge of pain and get to the other side, move on with your life please 🙏.
Love and Light
Lol no
@@kaitlinmontgomery2750 That's fine, choices we all have them.
I want mine back
Well said, I agree 100%.
All in all. Who is meant for you is meant for you. You won't be able to chase them off if they're truly for you. ❤I believe that. 😊
On WhatsApp
✛2347034218893👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾🔥🔥🪴🪴❄❄🔮適港, 港决很高興
I believe that. I will wait and see if she wakes up or not. She does have some mental issues. Out burst of anger . Collect things like plastic bags. Old food 5 year on shelf. Molding food in refrigerator. Etc
I’m six weeks into no contact and listen to your videos every day to help give me the guidance that I desperately need. I am hoping and praying that she comes back, but my focus is purely on me. To better myself in every way, and work on the things that I need to work on for me. If she decides to come back that’s awesome if she doesn’t then I’m still going to be the best me that I can be. Thank you Coach for all the wisdom you share with us.
Thanks bro. Im right there with casey. I bet we r good guys and bad boys . Hearts of gold.. and great father potential. We all make mistakes but we all dont get up, repent , ,make ammends, Grow in love , strengthen and move in our masculine.
The chase ended yesterday. That believe is over. I am a jedi master. Not a dirty penny. A lover and a fighter,
bless us
Remember you are starting over when it happens like a new relationship in her mind she doesn't know you anymore
Be strong 👊👊
I needed to hear that last part. GOLD. “it is bait, they are baiting you, do not fall for it do not chase”
Seriously needed to hear it because we’re in a weak position where when they come back all we want to do is accept them but we need to have the strength to respect ourselves better.
Please make more videos on moving on after still being in love. It’s so hard. The grief stage. The confusing thoughts etc
Thank you for this
I made the mistake and took that bait. Didn't know better. Not because I lacked self respect but I was stupid to believe... Big mistake.
Keep loving in general even if your heart has been ripped out. love is more powerful than anything don’t worry everything will be ok and if you feel it isn’t hug yourself because it is my friend. you’re not alone keep pushing i promise life is truly grand and beautiful especially with you in it!
I dont know if it is just me or this guy has some kind of vibe that makes him really pleasent to listen to
Thats why we're all here
Hello 😁😁😁
thats a bit zesty dude
He talks slowly like someone old and wise giving advice they know to be true. Only a few other coaches: Lee, Winters, Lovechat, and Ken got that smooth delivery that make you feel like they're the parents you wish you had. The others would make me an avoidant.
Calming energy.
Instead of waiting around for your ex to comeback, just move on and meet new people, the same feelings you had for him/her, you can have for another person. In the moment it seems like he/she is your end all be all, but remember, you probably felt that way about several other people you’ve been with. 🤷🏾
Or you can just not tell people what to do. You have absolutely no right to tell people what relationships they've had that are worth keeping. Don't do it again.
Not so easy
Hmm nah not if its true love
@@pisces89if it was true love they wouldn’t be your ex then. They are usually your ex for a reason.
@@ximenachavez-dq8gjI didn’t tell anyone what to do, I simply commented an opinion in response to a video. No wonder your ex doesn’t want to come back, a UA-cam opinion triggers you emotionally like that ?! 😂
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
How you doing now ?
Acknowledge your emotions. Feel them. Let them go. FEELINGS are temporary. Find something to occupy your thoughts and time. ( Ex Happy music, a book, a walk, change of settings). LIVE. Repeat this process as often as you must. There is no time factor to YOUR healing. I've been where you are, thought I wouldn't be able to function. BAYYYYBEEE- Let me tell you, time stood still. Time did not move quickly enough. I lost weight, depression was real. It was not easy..HOWEVER, time went by and my days became easier to move through. My nights became easier to sleep through. I called out and the universe acknowledged- IT WAS MY TIME TO SHINE! I am not complete without me. Another person will never make me whole. I learnt fro. my lesson and apply it accordingly. Life is to be lived. Love never leaves, nor is it supposed to be hard. Live is patient and understanding. Put on your crown, head held high. THIS TOO SHALL PASS..WITH LOVE, SENDING HEALING, WHOLESOME ENERGY🤍🤍
Am I the only one that doesn’t want my ex back? I legit watch these videos because I’m curious about this topic
Nope. Love don’t live here anymore.
I'm with you on that❤😊
Your not alone I’m interested in the topic but after 7 yrs of on and off with her I no longer desire her I’m happy and at peace now seeing and dating other women
@@quitpocketwatchingme I feel you. After trying to make It work with my ex several time, I knew I had to just break it off. Which was the right choice since I found me a great girl. Safe to say I'm also happy now. But it did take a solid year to fully mourn that relationship.
Nope!!! The peace that comes from being off a toxic relationship. No hear palpitations of the next hey wrecking message your partner will send. Just block and have peace
My ex came back after 6 months, 4 months NC.
I broke NC once at the start, then went full NC. She reached out saying she's seeing someone else and if we could be friends.
I said no.
She went out the country for a month, and when she returned, she got in contact with me after 6 months of not seeing her.
She wanted to meet up, whereby she said she made a big mistake and still loves me.
I was weak and we were intimate with each other, but deep down, I resent her.
I resent her for leaving me in the first place, for saying she was with someone else only to backtrack, and for not changing or working on her attachment style (whereas I've been putting in the work every day).
She's going through a lot at the moment, but I plan to call her out on everything and see how she reacts.
Stay NC people, it works if your connection to your ex is strong.
Very similar to my situ except we didn’t get intimate. He came back after the 4 months & said he was thinking of me and only wished me good things. I responded very politely and even joked a bit. I told him if friendship is want you want I have no hard feelings towards you. He said I gave him lots of confidence and thanked me. We’ve been sort of texting now, but it’s really slow and weeks go by. We’re “friends” but that’s not something I want and I don’t act like one. When we began to date, we were friends as well. So idk it’s weird.
Now you know what not to do.
dont criticize or lash out on her. i get it but dont do that itll only push her away. talk it out in a healthy way of letting her know how she hurt u
What if your ex has never stopped contacting you, even if you try to ignore her or not respond she still tries. And when you do respond or even meet she disappears but then comes back. It’s been 8 months post break up. It’s like she’s just holding on to my shadow and that’s enough
I would not even bother. She has to come to you and make an effort. Dont let her use you to get over you.
Yup 2 years later . I'm getting there. He's now feeling the loss. And I'm the one who has the power
I like your approach, "We can get through anything." I wish more people saw it this way. Some people feel that when it gets too hard they just have to run. Those are the avoidant types. It's very toxic. They run when you simply want to communicate which is what will HEAL the relationship.
Exactly what I'm dealing with
My ex GF was scenario 3. After 4 weeks of NC, she emailed me, telling me how I was everything she ever wanted in a man, kind, caring, thoughtful, loving. She told me how I'm a wonderful dad, not only to my chikdren, but to hers. She saidnshe missed me, missed us, emotionally and physically. I ran right back, said I'd try again, but that she had to try, she had to change things, or there is no point. We lasted 3 weeks, in which we only went out once as a couple and once as a family, both of which were amazing, but she held back, made no effort, then said things didnt feel the same. I was heartbroken once again. I gave her back all the pics, the beautiful things she'd made me, given me, it was too painful to see and hold onto, and I drove away. Im missing her so much, and caved yesterday and messged her, begging. Pathetic really, and shes not bothered to respond. Wish id seen these vids and had more strength, more self respect than letting her win, feeding her ego. 😢
it’s not pathetic at all! forgive yourself and just don’t be fooled to get roped in again. it’s human to want to be loved and it’s also a form of addiction
My solution is to simply moving on. 8 billion people in the world. I can find someone who loves me for me.
Exactly
but I want that to be him and only him...
So 8 billion people, did you find someone to love you yet? Lol
Yep
@@yangjirui123 😂😂😂
1 year of NC. I dunno why I am writing this, I moved on already. Xd
But, she never reached out, she left me. I’m good, I am a virgin again, life is good. I feel amazing. Ready to fly
Hopefully one day i can say the same brotha 💯
@@mbkjaytee8655 take your time, but seize that time
It's not genuine if they're only seeking relief and validation for their ego
I'm not sure what just happened, but I just started no contact and feeling a sense of relief, safety, freedom, sleep. There's a sense of being grateful that I don't have to hear this person speak anymore. Am I in denial or in some short term delusional phase of happy? I always felt uneasy, and anger, and confusion with this guy.
Same here ❤
How are you feeling now ?
@Lyaz.altaib better but still a feeling like when's the drama in my life gonna happen, even tho there no threat or worry in my life.
It sound like he was draining you. I know how this feels.
@nikar8509 here I am 8 months later going through something yet again with the same guy behind our child. Ion know why but I let this man get access to our daughter, and low and behold, he decided I can't talk to her unless he likes my attitude on the phone.
Very good video. No contact is such a blessing especially after trauma bonding or toxic relationships.
Toxic is so addictive
Its beautiful that we can all learn from each other.
They never want you back until you move on and by then its too late..Dismissive Avoidants play a dangerous game. They are very reckless and cold blooded..thats just not who i am..i value myself and i strive to treat people righteously
It’s been 12 months since the break up. We had an engagement. We had some contacts mostly logistics, her things and so on. The contact was 3 months ago. She messaged me for my bday. I had waited for so long for a messaged and hoping to hear from her but when I got my bday message. I simple said thanks hope you are well. That’s it. Work on you, move on. I really thought she was my person too.
I lost my job and had to figure out my life. She started to become distant, I was leaning in relationship too much and getting anxious I can loose also her. She broke up with me 3 months later. I begged, cried, chased. Get angry and frustrated. Felt into pieces and depression. She blocked me everywhere and said she dobt want nothing to do with me.
Few months later I made first milion out of nothing.
Its amazing, like universe gave me this to experience full spectrum of life. I perceive this also as a test for her and me, if she deserve what's coming.
I would never believe things like this are real.
Feel lonely now. Thinking how to find good woman now and open myself and not get hurt again
How did you make your first million?
I really hope he's hurting like he hurts me...thank you coach!!!
oh they are trust Karma will be a mutha
Bro this is spot on. I initiated ghost protocol 9 days ago. Since then she has completed every step you outlined except showing up at my spot because I literally moved. I watched this video today and this afternoon recieved the blame text and the I am sorry text.
I need to move- I really need to move. Day 2 of NC 😢
I have been dumped after being with him for 3 yr . His way of teaching me a lesson was by Getting back on the dating app and liking one of my best friend’s friend. I keep on going through ups and downs and trying to make sense of what happened and how I can move on and learn from it.
You sharing your wisdom has absolutely saved me from loosing the little dignity I have left. Thank you so so much. Please keep on posting… I will be watching 😊
First of all. You are a great person. Not even my friends and family made me so calm during my GFs breakup with me. Thank you!
I’m glad you find the videos helpful. Stay strong 🙏
for real though
Same here
All my brothas in this struggle keep shining in the dark I know it’s hard but we gon make it through I know we want them back but show them how we move and what you’re capable of shine on them get that money up, workout, and strive for you passionate about im six weeks in NC and am grinding y’all so the same best of luck fellas 💯
I’m going through this currently & this is helping me with clarity & respect for myself. Thank you for the free game brotha! Great knowledge
Feel this bro. Photo Booth. Bowling. People changing. I messed up bad with attachment styles and other things that affected how I was. I broke both of our hearts.
It was dope that I seen this! I think the no contact brings up so many things! I love the way you described the rejection and abandonment feelings. It’s so empowering to chose myself. Gratitude for this reminder! Powerful
i am amazed at how mang people are going though break up
I am not alone in you I have found a support group
I was feeling so broken but getting better each day
My ex reconnected with me. Said out of the 2yrs we stopped speaking, she always looked at her emails to see if I wrote her. I was the best this and that....then she ghosts me again.
.......i aint got time for the childish games. A big part of me wants to text and give her a piece of my mind. But then i say, why bother with someone who doesnt value you
Going through this right now. Felt like i lost the love of my life. Feel like i just want to block him, but will feel guilty doing so...but i know I need to get over him
I feel ur pain, going thru same thing
Block him! If he wants you he will find a way to call… probably fake app but he will call
He sent me a video reminiscing in a beautiful country pub saying he's moved there. This was something we were going to do together. Another huge blow after 3mths no contact. I didn't reply. I've been working on myself and moving forward. I'm so glad I didn't reply. Not a word since. It's been 6 weeks since last txt. What doesn't help is he's a functioning alcoholic. He was a good loving man ... all a shame. Anyway good luck guys. Thanks coach. Another great video 🙏🏻❤️
I so appreciate your honesty. It’s been just 5 weeks of nc. I’m trusting the process. Thank you.
I’m going on 2 months, my ex still watches my stories but just know those little signs could be nothing, stay in control, don’t reach out! only reply if necessary. Over time the pain will go away. You will always miss her but the tears will go away. I Pray for the best for you 💪
any news
I just started 🥲
@FurryLewds Thank you so much! I cant tell you how much your comment means to me
Updates?
I totally relate. I’m more anxious and my husband of 27 years who recently left me as a fearful avoidant
I’m praying for you
I just wanna say kudos to you for journaling!!!! Not a lot of men do that
This video resonates with me. Yes the pain of the breakup hurts. I love love and love hard. I am still choose to live my life. Because he somehow gave up on us. I want and deserve someone that chooses me all the time and not some times. I have been in no contact 1month and 2 weeks to be exact. I love him but I love me more and my time and the woman I am deserves so much more. I been on journey on healing and growth. It's like a weight has been lifted.
After losing my high school sweetheart of 28yrs to COVID ....i got back out there and it was checkers we connected on our first date
I'm not sure why this popped up in my algorithm, but the things I have learned are this....Reject yourself of injury, and the injury disappears. If you chase, it will flee from you. If you attract, it will have no other choice but to magnitize. When you truly and deeply love someone, it is not that they have loved you in return, but that they have learned to love themselves more. It is not respectful to hold anyone hostage to our expectation of filling our love tank, no one person is even capable. If it comes from within first and we know who we are and where we are going, then love comes to us freely. For we do not get what we want, rather what we are. If I want love, I must first become it. Our minds can either be our greatest enemy or our most powerful weapon. Know who you are and stand with both feet fitted firmly on the ground, occupying it with power and dominion. Oh, what freedom.
Been in NC for 1 month each week she sends me quotes and pictures of our dog, reacting to old messages and messaging hope im doing well etc. all insignificant!
If you ever do a sequel to this video, here’s scenario 4: Your ex blames you for a lot of things but also takes some ownership for their part yet is unable/not willing to work on things & concludes you shouldn’t be together yet wants to be friends.
Acknowledge there were challenges on both sides & you both could’ve done things differently, but healthy conflict resolution takes two, and if that’s not possible, you respect their decision & wish them all the best, ending with something like if they want to work on things in the future, to reach out. Address their offer of friendship by saying something like you’ll consider it but then go back into NC to work on yourself & evaluate if friendship is really something that you could be happy with. Continue NC either until they reach out or until you’ve healed enough to give them one text as an olive branch (because many dismissive avoidants won’t be the first to reach out during NC).
5-6 weeks no contact she only a message for my happy bday to which I said thank you for the thoughts and no contact goes on….if she decides to give it another go “ok let’s give it a go” if not “I will become 10x either way”
All the best to her ❤️
You lucky u got Happy Birthday......I didnt.......she just disappeared into the wind
Be happy you didn’t! I know you might feel that your ex wishing you happy bday would be good…but it does th exact opposite brother! Gift to you.
I don’t know why everyone so desperate to get their exes back 😂 bro they left you! They made a choice to leave you, instead of working towards fixing things… they chose to leave! Close the fucking door and move on. Have some self respect.
Mehn! You just sparked something in me. So true, they left you, so, you’re not their captive. Much as it hurts, you get to dictate your own life & curate the love that you want with the person that God brings next into your life.
I feel the necessity to congratulate you for being SO HONEST.
And admitting that you made yourself in the past all these mistakes that one MATURE man mustn't.
Thank you so for these videos. im in no contact for the second time and realize i went by it the wrong way the first time. But this is keeping me going... Im a great women and i refuse to settle for less!
Thank you I needed to hear this. only three days no contact but it feels like an eternity.
Not all dumpers are bad, many also do it because they found their strenght to leave after giving their all in the relationship yet was mistreated and did not feel valued by their avoidant dismissive partner. At some point you have to accept they will never love you an leave.
This was my case
Mine left me because in the beginning, she seemed like the secure type and I seemed anxious in general (not avoidant, just anxious). The more we got to know each other, the more comfortable I got and things were seemingly going well.
She dumped me 48 hours after our most emotional, intimate night we had together (in a good way) completely out of nowhere. I was blindsided, absolutely gutted over it, but a few days later, she reached out to me to explain that she was basically masking an avoidant, anxious, jealous, insecure attachment style that was brought on by a childhood raised in a dysfunctional home followed by 10 years of extremely toxic, bordering on emotionally abusive relationships.
This all happened about 2 weeks ago, was doing great with no contact until I caved completely out of nowhere yesterday while I was at work. I saw something that reminded me of her and sent her an audio message asking basically if we could grab a coffee or go on a walk so I could get some closure and she left me on read, never heard back (but my friends said she’s posting on social media like crazy). I’m still hurt that even with how close we were, she couldn’t do it to my face when I’ve never showed even the slightest bit if aggression or anger or hostility around her. I’ve actually been the calmest I’ve probably ever been around her.
Two weeks before dumping me, she started therapy. She told me that she was going because “everyone can benefit from it.” The day she dumped me, she informed me that she had actually been going to “learn what a secure attachment style feels like” and if she’s capable of “changing” her own attachment style or can lean into a more secure one moving forward.
This whole thing has been really rough for me. Despite it being one of the shorter times ive been romantically involved with someone, I fell for her harder than anyone else I’ve dated by far, like not even close. With all that said, I’m actually not at all mad at her or even myself for that matter and I’ve accepted the fate, though I can’t say that I’ve moved on yet (that’s going to be quite some time for me). I really just hope therapy helps her and she can be happier with herself and future partners because she is/was the most incredible woman I’ve ever met inside and out and it hurts me knowing she hurts inside too.
She said she was utterly heartbroken over this, but she needs to do it because she can’t heal while she’s with me (probably because she views me as an enabler) and effectively told me that we would have an “expiration date” if we stuck things out.
My god, what a fucking woman though 😔
Your insight is fantastic and you have a very calming way of explaining these things
Respect
My ex was mad at me. He left for about 6 weeks, he had told me he didn't love me anymore and didn't want to be with me. So i moved on. No contact for 6 weeks, then he showed up and came home, he sat in silence and he had moved his belongings into the other room. He had been seeing someone else. It was just a mess. I moved on. Its been 6 years and im still single and very happy. 😊😊
I needed this video last Thursday. My ex baited me and I fell for it. Only for her to respond that it’s still too much that happened. Lol she even stopped watching my instagram story.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
This healed a huge piece of my heart. You have no idea how many people you're helping. Thank you and I love you 🤍
Love you too. Thanks for watching!
@@blacademicI'm in no contact a second time. (after I did it the first time he came to my house angry I went silent.. and he was cold after).I went back into no contact....on day 41 of no contact .he made a post on fb about " don't force a relationship and don't chase after ppl that arbt chasing you". Then he made a post about how " woman fall out of love as fast as they fall in love". Do you think this is a sign he is hurting?
@@blacademic I am in no contact a 2nd time. The first time I did it he got angry and came to my door. It's obvious he showed up for validation. I started no contact all over again. He made an angry post on Facebook about " you can't force a relationship and don't chase after people that arbt chasing after you." (I haven't chased him at all). Then he made a post about how " woman only love conditionally and fall out of love as fast as they fall in love". He made these particular posts after I made it look like I was out having a good time. Do you think in my case the no contact Is getting to him again?
@@blacademicif she broke up 1 month ago then köpt calling 2 Times per week but didnt want to meet then now 1 week ago she said she cares about me but isnt attracted and can be friends to take things slowly, have been in no contact since then, is this the right decision? Or should i accept to be friends to "get her slowly back" or is she using me as an backup if i do that
This helped me so much. So accurate. Thank you for helping me in my situation
So true. There is so many things that come with relationship that you realize. You can show up and think that’s enough there are emotional intimacy. And as a man you don’t realize validation is key and how to communicate, childhood trauma, mental health, we are logical and try to fix it but you can’t fix it. It’s not up to you to fix.
Hello all,
I found this channel and its gold. Thanks coach. It gives me so much strength. A few months ago she told me she had doubts about our relationship. She had not a specific reason. Just a feeling .. I was in panic and did everything to solve it. But she kept that feeling. She rather wants to be more with her friends and colleagues than with me. So frustrating. 2 weeks ago we broke up. But she also kept telling me she loves me and does not want without me in her life. I don't understand why this al happend. Last two months I wanted to do everything for her and I told her she could come back every time she wanted... So dumb. Now I know that what I did was wrong. I need to back up and go in NC. I will share my journey here from now on. Im in NC now for 48 hours. Thats already really hard. But I'll Keep grinding and try to be a better person. I will keep yall updated. Mannn the pain is so deep. I feel there is a future for us, hopefully its not to late. Keep up everybody ❤
3 days NC. It helps me to notice it over here sometimes I think.
How is it going?? I'm 3days today
2 weeks... Still grinding. Keep yourself strong 👊💪🫶🫶🫶
How does one deal with all the pain. "Crickets" - pain when all one hears nothing.
You’re amazing love it all! You got me through my day! As hard as it is, I’m going silent! ❤
It's been six months since she left, and on the 5th month her new affair ended. It was fun and games for her when she walked past me with her new guy, deep down I could see that this was just a rebound. Their energies weren't pure happiness.
Saw her a couple of days ago and I could see the hurt in her eyes as we locked eyes.
I still love this woman, but I can't come through as weak as she was the one that left. I'm not sure if I should attempt the affair or leave her period...
Thank you coach. Your videos are soul lifting and helpful. Much love❤️
Thank you! Going through this now, the "I miss you" and asking questions about my life. I keep my answers short and sweet. Just giving him what he asked for. 🇨🇱
So glad to hear this. Going thru stuff now but the self respect is soooo key.
Thank you for this message!!! Thank you for doing the work to deliver this message!! God bless you! I’ve been praying and confused why my ex was texting me messages of anger. I accidentally clicked on this video while driving! I understand now
I am hurting so much. I gave my ex a second chance and again I moved from Texas to Minnesota. Just for him to tell me in my face “ I don’t want a relationship with you” after him bringing me all up here and giving me a promise. And now I’m still here with my ex.
Wonderful wisdom- thank you for sharing that story. This video helped me so much. Bittersweet and beautiful. I do deserve love. I will move on from this. Thank you for the encouragement.
I chased a woman who cheated on me for years yes years. She was my so called soul mate. She broke up with me to deal with a guy who she just was “talking too” long story short . I got her back after the other guy treated her like trash 🗑️ but all the begging long text me fighting for love over years got me only 9 months her being back n boom we broke up again . That was 5 years ago. Moral of the story don’t chase focus on your goals. No matter how hard you try when someone isn’t ready to receive your love don’t force it .
Hey this was right on time for me. Been back and forth for years with someone and I am at the end. Thanks for the perspective
I hope you get everything you ever wanted, and I hope I never hear anything about it Megan.
Maybe in the next life
I must say I really enjoy listening and learning from you absolutely refreshing🙏🏾. Keep up the good work there’s so many silent listeners u are helping including me. God Bless u 🙏🏾
I never ever was in relationship til I was 32 years old. Now I'm 36+ years old and have no courage and passion for love again. Real love is rare. I loved her after knowing that fact that she had two serious love affair in her past. Still i thought she needed to be healed. And I did with all mg courage and love. Ahe broke me apart many times, I found my self victim al the time and she seemd having fun and good time with her friends. Oh God save me from this if you exists. I would never ever love again.
But your video I found helpfull and hopeful. I dont want to be the first to break no contact. And wana make her kneel down and baging. I have many options to go with girl and have good time but for some reason don't know my heart never allow me to do that
I just got broken up with 3 days ago, in the exact same situation that you were in. Hung out with her for a few months, things felt perfect. And then towards the end she just started to disappear, and when I would bring it up she would deflect or just say she wasn’t ready for what I have to offer. And finally we were supposed to have a conversation to clear the air for good and instead she spent the day with her girls and went to a hotel room and partied, which made me very upset and I basically told her either you want me or you don’t. And she chose the second option. With not much explanation also, and in the following days I was fighting and trying to get her back and understand why. Yesterday she said she’s not ready again and I’m just gonna leave her alone, really hoping no contact works and she will realize what she had with me because I feel like she is the one I’ve been waiting for.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps me to gain perspective and wisdom in my own situation
Thank you very much Coach for sharing your story. Thank you very much for your videos. They are a huge source of support and comfort. God bless!🙏🙏
I took the bate! Before seeing this video. My ex blocked me months ago but reached out to my kids (which are not his) He told them he missed them and wanted to see them when he came back from vacation in Dubai. He also had a friend reach out to me asking me to contact him concerning my kids. I reached out and told him I didn’t think it was a good idea and that I also missed him and it would complicate things. He straight up told me ok then tell your kids YOU don’t think it’s a good idea that I see them. I found myself apologizing to him about everything hoping he would respond but no response. he got me!
You are amazing !!! In our marriage we were two good people that made a bad choice.
Very incompatible.
Yeah going though this now. My ex sent the nastiest text two weeks ago. And like you said…when there is anger…there is fear.
1000%
With that being said, when there is anger and fear….do you think that person isn’t truly done with you?
@@SEwrightificationI’m wondering the same
indifference is the worst sign. if someone was truly over you, why are they mean? @@SEwrightification
Mine sent his two days ago
Man you're so on point and you break things down so well.
This dude is 🥶! I needed this video yeas ago. Sincerely thank you 🙏🏽. This content is solid.
You are a beautiful person for this. I didnt get anything but i see u doing good and im proud of you. If u need me without any hidden agenda im here.
My Ex wasnt use to a woman taking ownership and admitting fault. Whenever I would say something or react wrong. I would apologize and take accountability on why I was wrong..I was in therapy..and this blew his mind 😂 lol..after every argument even after we split, i took ownership right away in how i should have reacted better and offered him to explore in therapy with me to understand my triggers .this blew his mind 😂..we broke up and i never reached out again..but he did more than once explaining he never met a woman who actually took ownership and didnt know how to react, so he did what he knew best which was get mad and leave ...i still didnt take him back..he is still reaching out nw 4 yrs later..
This is exactly why he was mad bc I changed my mind about him moving in with me, I asked him to go to therapy with me and he wouldn’t, got mad and left 😂
Girl from the story was an avoidant haha. I thought exactly like you did like we can get through anything etc etc. my avoidant girlfriend broke up with me and left me for a coworker, but we’ve been on two dates that went AMAZINGLY bro your videos have helped me more than anything else online. The gottman institute steps was key for me THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
how long no contact
Turn that hurt into strength boys
Wow . I just did that by accident.
(Looked at a few pics of us that popped out! Everyone thought we were married. We had a connection. Now im aware of ALOT of this info u share. Enough to lead. Enough to give us a goal and a path. I have a God to help. But i cant reach her. 5 years. I love her . I needed support to . She emotionally wasnt able to. Skill she could learn same as the changes i have to make. I could and would learn. Gosh im where u were... love that u became who u are coach . Cas u help. Thank u
I’m relying on the fact that my ex and I had the immediate connection when we met where we felt like long time friends who beautifully pick up from where we left off after not seeing each other for a long time. We have been on NC for 2.5 months, he’s still dealing with a messy divorce, years of abuse where she kept him from his good siblings. So we disengaged completely. I pray we get back together.
Pray it works out
I’ve dealt with more than one narcissist. If he’s dealing with you while going through a divorce, that’s a red flag. Many of the times, they make up stories about the women, and the new supply becomes a flying monkey for that person. Don’t be that new supply. Be wise, and never date a married man.
@@fortheladies771right she is condoning being a mistress and majority of the times women can't keep men from seeing their siblings what's up with this lady she is being played. He is the reason for the messy divorce.
Your delusional if you think that relationship is going to work. Your a mistress.😭
I have the same experience, I had difficulties in my Ph.D. research and I expected my partner to understand me, to talk about issues, but he wanted to hang out with his friends and finally he thought the stress of my life is too much, and we broke up. I was the one who did the break up but I regreted. I contacted him again to ask to talk and solve everything together but he ignored my message and didnot respond. This is so sad! but I should accept it and move on.
That why I don’t believe in love as much people don’t know what they wants I am solo rolling now by myself
@@mrs.camillewarrenempress3115 now I also believe that specially during tough times of my life, I can't have a partner because he just wanted to be with me in happiness over the moon times! Anyway, I move on and focus on my own life
I’m going to not let him near me anymore; having 2 men or almost 3 in my home trying to beat me up & that scared me; 1 of em is my baby daddy! He’s the first enemy I don’t want around me anymore! 😢❤🎉😮
You can't love yourself out of your need for romantic love indeed. But you really have got to value and respect yourself. This is really crucial. No matter how much losing someone or cutting off or letting them go hurts. Who have got to have your own back.
Its been 3 months no contact and she still hasnt even open my texts messages i sent before i did no contact. She would never post selfies of herself during our 5 year relationship. Now she does more than once in a while. She seems happy and very happy.
So right man! This is exactly what is happening with my ex. She has a new boyfriend but she meets for a closure meet up in bar and within 1hr she trying to hold my hand, stroking my hair, trying to cuddle. 4 hours in we decide to depart and i can tell she's off to stay with her new boyfriend. Following this meet up within 7 days she's asking am i enjoying Berlin and can i send a picture. I followed this with a polite loving message suggesting we break contact for a while so we can both progress on our individual paths. Silence since which is good 👍
Interesting. I got that long text saying "I will always love you, but we can never be together" and I've been trying to figure out what that's all about, so thank you
I haven’t heard from the man I love for more I know he has been in a rebound relationship I feel it in my soul. 😢 My concern is it’s been 5 months and his family I love much keep checking post I make on social media. It use to be him but now brother, nieces and sister🤷🏾♀️ No contact all the way with everyone. I miss and love them all so much 😢😢😢