Dinosaur Hotel Movie Review - Veloci-napper
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
- With Dinocember upon us, it's time to check out the wonderful world of dinosaur horror, and... well, Dinosaur Hotel. This relatively recent offering from 2021 asks the question "do we really need to render ALL the effects shots?"
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That was some painfully "british drama" acting from our protagonist. I have been more emotional about dropping a sock while switching clothes from washer to dryer than she is about her children being future dinosaur poop.
On behalf on the United Kingdom, I would like to apologise for this film. Not since the height of the Empire have we committed such an atrocity.
I know this was meant as a joke... but the UK is involved in numerous genocides and illegal wars literally right now.
You're basically our 51st state.
@@MAXIMILLIONtheGREAT Yes but those current atrocities aren't anywhere near as bad as this movie.
Wait, this is our shite?
@@thehowlingjokerhowever to be fair it's still better than half of what Hollywierd is making these days. Some of those movies are crimes against humanity.
"I understood that reference!"
With movies like this I like to pretend that the characters are screaming and running from the bad CGI rather than a monster.
It makes the movie so much more fun. :)
Now I'm curious is this is about a Velociraptor who kidnaps people, or a Velociraptor who likes to nap.
I have been struck by a muse, I must begin production on this movie...
Or someone who *kidnaps* Velociraptors
Its lonely lol
Dinosaurs worked flint tools!!!
I would watch the latter. That sounds adorable.
Deckers breakdown of the snobby protagonist was the best part. Look if your poor you cant afford a therapist. You just have to tell your problems to people who don't give a shit for free. Truer words have not been spoken
That is what Bartenders are for
These are Brits we are talking about😂😂😂. Poor is only having one slave to demoralize.
Oh, finally we get a new movie review by the one and only Baron Decker Shado. I was so waiting for it!
Oh, I've been waiting too. 😅
@@DeckerShado yeah, i know. The usual copyright BS... 😒
A critical drinker reference, method acting kids and dinosaurs ! Thank you for this wonderful gift, Decker ! And a merry Christmas to you !
Damn, the graphics of the dinosaurs in the first Dino Crisis was more impressive, and that was all the way back on the first PlayStation. 😉😂🤣 Anyways, crappy looking movie, but fun video. Thank you, Decker.
The scene with the therapist is probably the most realistic thing I've seen in a film this year.
The first "dinosaur" they see is a Pteranodon which ISNT A DINOSAUR!!! id report this hotel to trading standards!
Hey Decker, give The Jurassic Games a review, its basically The Condemned with dinosaurs.
I was pleasantly surprised by the dinosaurs in The Jurassic Games. Some of them weren't half bad.
Can it be? Is it....DINOCEMBER?!
Yes
Been rewatching a lot of your stuff lately. Found some old gems from over a decade ago. Still funny as hell. Your work has only grown more entertaining. Never listen to the haters.
Old Decker is Nostalgic af now.. God I hate getting older😂
A plastic velocitaptet toy or rubber puppet would have been more realistic.
You should review boar 2019 very good boar suit
in the uk you can get a therapist for free on the nhs, usually because your doctor is sick of seeing you and passed you off and you refused to just take more meds, having a shitty therapist in an office with uncomfortable chairs was the only realistic part of this movie
Ah. I forgot for a minute how overly borked super expensive care is... really more of an American thing.
@@DeckerShadotry having a stroke. It's been 14 years and I'm still paying that off.
With how great we know government funded institutions are, just imagine government run Healthcare. Waiting months to see a doctor who's as passionate as your typical dmv employee with equipment from the 80s
Yeah you can get it for free but you’ll be on a waiting list for about 3 years before you end up getting said care
Between American and European healthcare it really is more a "pick your poison" type of deal
Where do dinosaurs eat their dinner?
In the DINING-SAUR room!
Ha ha. Joke would have fit perfect in this movie. Lol
Hey decker. You should check out vampires vs zombies sometime. It's a movie written directed and largely stared in by stuntmen. The plot is (surprisingly) decent and the acting is (in places) unintentionally glorious. For most of the actors it's pretty obvious who are stuntmen and who aren't just based on their physic(most of the stuntmen (male and female) are quite... stocky
I imagine an actual dinosaur themed hotel would be a lot better than this movie
GamingBeaver once went to a dinosaur themed love hotel in Japan for a video. I can confirm that that was infinitely more entertaining than this film.
8:45 Critical Drinker reference.
It's Dinosaur Hotel. We'll leave the light on for you.
Hey Decker! Just leaving a comment here for the algorithm, keep the hard work up!
Wait... you're telling me the movie that got held up in purgatory was this movie??? You would think it was Jurassic World or I dunno a bigger budget flick. UA-cam is ridiculous sometimes I swear. Glad to see a new review though!
Dinosaurs in movies are always super hungry. Pretty sure an entire human would satisfy a T Rex for a few hours. Like, imagine if you ate a meal the size of your head, you'd probably not feel the need for seconds.
As bad as these dinos are, they're nothing compared to the monstrosity found in another film by the same producer - Jurassic Island. I hated that movie and every character in it so much that I hoped they would all die. But the T-Rex is a piece of work - animated so poorly that they bent the ankle the wrong way and gave the poor thing two knees; it's the most awkward walk cycle I've ever seen.
Only the real ones will understand the critical drinker joke here. "Naa It'll be fine"
She only breaks the rules if they are adults her children are OK because of something, something evil.
*Dinosaur Hotel, rendered by Microsoft Bing!!*
The way dinosaurs look I expected Regina and her squad to appear at some point .
This whole movie, I am rooting for the dinosaur and evil corp. The human character are terrible.
When I saw the thumbnail, I thought the main plot was that dinosaurs were running a hotel. Sad that that wasn't the plot.
Thumbs up for the Critical Drinker reference! Hahaha
Well, at least Cam-bot found work after MST3K
I saw an ad for velocihamster earlier. It was a game or comic or something, i dunno. Might be cool
I see Cam-Bot. Now, where is Tom Servo Crow and Gypsy
You've been selected as a contestant on this hit gameshow...that somehow no one has ever heard of
Another jurassic Park knockoff
I love how Decker’s dramatic reactions and line delivery always makes for an entertaining video even if it’s covering a boring film. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who loves cheesy movies! Some can be really good and usually it helps if the actors and crew had fun making it.
Jesus i thought you edited in that robot at first lmao
Merry X-mas, Decker. Keep 'em coming buddy....AND REMEMBER, the World Wide Web wouldn't be the same without the Internet personality with the best videos.
Another killer review, Decker. Watching your videos is a real slice of life. Always appreciate your stabs at whacky movies.
Nice to sink my teeth into. I love hearing a good tail.
Dinosaurs.
weird al isnt very funny anymore :(
Like the nod to Critical Drinker 🤣🤣
Your sacrifice is appreciated. 👍
love the videos you make sorry its getting so hard to show them around the overlords
I laughed so hard when i seen the raptor
3:49 absolute facts Decker!
Love u decker sry I’ve been gone so long
The scariest things in this movie are Sienna's eyebrows. Woo. Awesome, as always, Decker!
Hey, you want to make a crazy movie about dinosaurs and hotels. Sure I wasn't doing nothing in my basement today.
I love these reviews I think I'll spend today watching a bunch of them they're hilarious and extremely entertaining
Okay, the Tyrannosaur and Raptor models were very clearly ripped from a Jurassic Park/World game of some sort, but I swear, that Nyctosaurus model looks _exactly_ like the one used in Prehistoric Park! How in the bleeding shit did these "filmmakers" get their hands on it?!
Another great video. Keep up the good work.
I'll continue to check in and watch your videos whether the algorithm wants to screw you over or not.
25:00 best part
(sees the 3D models) Yup, the film-makers definitely ransacked Turbo Squid.
i got an ad for *NIGHT SWIM* after this hahah sure is way better than dinosnore hotel, we have a pool monster! demon.. thing
Hey Decker, I think this is set in the UK so you wouldn't strictly need to pay to speak to a therapist.
Keep up with the videos dude!
To quote another Dino film "That is one big pile of sh!t."
Decker, man, nobody does bad movie reviews like you do. Like a bad relationship, youtube doesn't realise what it's letting slip away.
Is this the review that was stuck in copyright? Holy Hell, youd think the company would allow any kind of free publicity for that dumpster fire of a "movie".
If you want a good low budget Dinosaur movie. Besides Carnasaur 2. The movie Jurassic Games (2018) is enjoyable
Notice how there was only like, two guys the entire time, And both had ridiculously small screen presence
What kills it for me, not that it had anything going for it, was the constant screaming at what was considered Canon in the movie
Maybe a giant muddahfuking monster, but dinosaurs?
Dinosaurs?
It's like screaming bloody murder at an alligator, or an elephant
New Decker video! My day just got a whole lot better!!
Hell of a plot hole that the one lady in on the game was the only one to kill a dino.
apparently, they've spared quite a lot of expense at this film's expense.
Well, after looking at the trailer for the second one...the Dinosaurs are actually animated next time...not gonna save the plot but animators were hired.
Wait, isn't the Dinosaur Hotel somewhere in Japan? Oh, no, wait, that's the Robot-Dinosaur Hotel! My bad...
Decker: Whaddya Mean They're Sequels To This Thing!?
Me: Aww S@%t!
Mmmmm Unlisted actors and terrible makeup....makes for a beautiful trash fire to me.
Dinosaur hotel a movie that sets dinosaur movies back to the Stone age
This? THIS is what got you a copyright strike? You're kidding, you gotta be kidding
I understand that they make these movies to ape off the success of Jurassic Park but dinosaur hotel? They could at least try LOL
I'm going to HAVE to say this.....
Your review of this clinker is more entertaining than this pile of CarP movie could ever be. The usual B- movie jokes don't apply here because this doesn't feature any "bikini model" level actresses for the male audience to ogle, and the entire story is so slow and absurd nobody would ever take this seriously.
Live dinos? Theme park . Make a fortune from displaying both the dinos PLUS the souvenirs. But as a game show? The technology behind the floating orb ALONE would be worth BILLIONS to multiple countries around the world.
And a MURDER gameshow? WHAT COUNTY ANYWHERE would allow a game show to literally kill the competitors? Other than a dictatorship.
Me personally, as I see it, this was either made as a filler movie to fulfill a movie studio contract, or this was just an excuse to " Casting Couch" all of the starlet wannabes who wanted to be in a movie.
Either way, I won't watch this movie, but I will be watching your reviews.
It's weird how much better the 30 year old CG enhanced practical effects in JP are than any modern CG dino movies. Also, why is GLADOS in this movie?
That was Friday Morning Fun.
🙃🏴🇦🇺
Again, still love your reviews. The humor, green screen, and you’re acting is always on fire!
I swear they had a similar movie plot to this except with sharks. Though I don’t think any of them we’re going to get a grand prize for surviving. Or maybe they were. I can’t remember what it was called, maybe shark night? But they were all trapped in a cave and a gate would release the different sharks per round. The CGI and that one was terrible! I saw it once and I’ve never been able to find it again.
£100.000 sure isn't a crazy amount of money.
But the average income in 2022 was jus barely over £30.000.
A single parent with an average income or below that... we can surely call that fairly poor, especially if the family live in London or another big city.
£100.000 is absolutely not life changing, but situation changing money for her.
Life changing, I consider that being able to buy a new house, travel the world, having ample opportunity to quit or change job freely without worrying about economy.
Situation changing money (for a poor person), I consider that having the opportunity to pay down loans, being able to buy food without planning after prices, being secure in how to pay next months bills.
I would go to rather a big effort to get a £100.000 price money even though it's not really life changing... it could pay off half my house loan.
But being in some kind of game with that price money... absolutely.
Everything start to change once we talk about actually risking once life and even further once we learn that the prize money is for a sole survivor, but then again, this is unknown information.
what are the walkies for? The last person wins. That means you do not cooperate, but eliminate the competition!
Okay, first, I can't believe this movie got copyright flagged......mostly because I can't believe anyone would want to admit that they own this. Second, who in the hell holds a rifle like that? Nobody that expects to actually hit anything, that's who. More than the bad CGI, more than the horrible acting, that was what took me out of this movie - the horrible shooting posture.
You had to wait to post a review for THIS? Man screw UA-cam I wish they had a viable competitor
Ah a drinker reference, chefs kiss for that one
For the algorithm! I've always loved dinocember
Cam-bot sounds like a cybrid. And the dino's could use a... Shado.
The protagonist was in the movie ALLIGATOR
Okay, before I watch the review. I simultaneously love and hate this movie. I love it because it was perfect noise for me to have on in the background while I read some old Batman comics... I hate it because the sequel failed to be decent white noise to read anything... also other stupid crap, but you know... I'll wait for your Sequel review video to vent on that subject. Yeah Dinosaur Hotel, hotel with dinosaurs in it... pretty much what it said on the box.
Decker please stop reviewing these garbage movies that few have heard of.That’s the problem. I dropped a like out of loyalty and that’s been the case for awhile. Review some good movies bro…this stuff is Shlock.
Wow where does Prime Video get these crappy movies? I'm thinking anyone that has made a movie and paid Prime Video big bucks to Prime Video to get the movie on their service 🤔PS can you spell o-v -e-r b-a-d a-c-t-i-n-g ☹️
Is this another film by the same folks who did Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey? Jagged Edge productions is an English Company who makes a ton of these schlocky fims for no budget with little plot, using things in the public domain as much as possible.
This is what happens when “actors” take not only a film that’s obviously trash too seriously, but also take themselves too seriously… except for the kids. They knew the assignment.
So you know you are now obligated to review the sequels Decker. I’d like to thank you in advance for your suffering on our behalf.
Why? For what reason did the bad guy do any of this. Where there cameras set up so people online could bet on the outcome? Is the bad guy watching the whole thing tossing off upstairs? You say this is on streaming media? You used to go to a dollar store for this kind of movie, now it's on your TV, that's progress!!
Love your content
Figured I should comment as UA-cam algorithm tend to suck at promoting some creators
I wonder what's the audience for this type of film and how movies like this even make any sort of money. Not only that, but I kinda feel bad for the actors, being part of a film like this must be an obstacle in the future to get better/decent roles. The Llama movie was well directed and funny and a friends' project, this is not it.
Hey Decker! You may want to get a colour accurate display (if needed) and look into some colour correction. It looks like someone pulled down your saturation haha thx for the video!
To be honest this concept could really work as an indie game with PS 1 engine graphics.
I'm going to be the asshole and say it. It looks like they fund a passed her prime "adult" "actress" and offered her a "big break out role".
They car thing isn't tha crazy. Most cars that have something like OnStar can be disabled remotely. They marketed it as an anti theft measure. So if your car is stolen you can just turn it off. And it's also why i have never and will never buy a car with that kind of tech.
At the 18 minute and 30 second Mark when you said she was unable to run and hide from the hungry vullaso Rapture you sound just like the narrator for the original G1 Transformers cartoon Awesome
Grandmaster Flash is the original Veloci-Rapper.
Just the title of this movie promises to be bad, but... boring? Damn. Sad times.
This movie is so bad, it's dangerous.
#BanAssaultMoviesNow