Man, I am so grateful to the algorithm for suggesting one of your videos (the relationship one), I am going through a very similar thing and what you're talking about here is also so relatable and comforting in a way that makes me feel not alone. Thanks!
Sorry you're going through some hard times. But I'm really glad to hear that you're connecting. Feel free to share anything that comes up - I'd love to hear about it.. I just started my UA-cam so I'm totally down to share comments back and forth. I plan to keep posting so subscribe if you want to keep up with me. And I don't know if you'd consider posting to YT but I'm finding it already beneficial. Something about the act of pushing something to the public, even if I'm not showing any friends or family, makes my really process the information.
Keep on trucking, Nathan. Brilliant video! ATTACHMENT THEORY is critical to understanding one's personal history-as I discovered even AFTER you (post age 50). I, too, dealt with fighting parents when growing up. My childhood was NOT awful. but I definitely lived through "dark cloud" periods. Dysregulation can be caused by inner world/outer world misalignment VIA neglect. (Accidental neglect, in my case.) Feelings we "ought not feel." Bullshit! Anger, rage, even boredom. It's all part of reality!
I would suggest the “crappy Childhood Fairy” . Some of us suffered but not due to anything deliberate( death of a parent and the subsequent emotions from that). Simply circumstances. You are also describing what I call disassociation- sort of like waiting in the wings for your cue to go onstage. Good luck in your journey!
Oh man, you hit the bullseye with Crappy Childhood Fairy. I've been watching some of her videos and getting a lot of out them. You must be in a similar boat? And you're spot on with dissociation. I think this is one of my biggest hurdles. Thank you for the recommendation and support.
Hi Nathan, Thank you for your reflection and openness. For a long time I thought Heidi Priebe's videos needed this kind of deep reflection with pauses and introspection. I do the same, but just journal/inner monologue. I believe it is important part of the healing journey. I wish you all the best!
Solid analysis. Your thoughts are deep on this tough topic and I can see your curiosity at work. I believe willingness is half the battle in healing. Keep fighting, stay curious!
You are right about willingness. That's been one of the biggest hurdles to get myself started to moving towards healing and growth. Thanks for the support!
I think I do a little of both. Mostly a freezer... but I wonder if my distraction techniques like eating, watching UA-cam, scrolling instagram, etc. are "flee" tactics.
The book “Healing the Shame that Binds You” by John Bradshaw is a book Heidi recommends. It has helped me understand shame in a way I have not experienced before…very good!!!
I would love to simply be able to stop dissociating by telling myself my emotions are important to pay attention to. I need a ton more work in meditation and mindfulness to get to that point. Great content, Nathan 😊
Means there's always more to learn at least, especially about ourselves. Life would be insanely boring if we had nothing else to figure out or learn. So... at least there's that. ..... right? 🥺
Hi Nathan! This was such a good reaction video. I really appreciate hearing your take on her content. I've been following Heidi's channel for over a year now, and her content is amazing. I would say I'm somewhere between where you are and she is. I've had 3 years of therapy and I'm in ACA, a 12 step program for adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional families, and the recovery we do there is very helpful for healing from childhood emotional neglect. There is a book published by ACA members called The Loving Parent Guidebook, and the aim is to reparent oneself and learn how to get in touch with one's inner child and emotions and learn to harness that intuition (because it was punished/repressed) to e.g. identify emotions and use that 'data' to get better at decision-making, and focus on oneself rather than others. I would also recommend Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody, who was one of the first researchers in this field.
Wow. This is a really thoughtful comment. Thank you for sharing. The Loving Parent Guidebook - I'm literally going to buy it right after I post this reply. It looks super relevant. It's encouraging to hear that you're further down this growth path. I really really really want to be better. Also, Heidi is incredible. The amount of "oh sh*t" moments I've had watching her videos, where she will verbalize something I had no vocabulary for.
Im at the same place man. Im trying to work these things out, and its very hard. Everything has gone sideways again. I have a lot of shame. Its humiliating when someone has been unfaithful. I repress my feelings to get along.
I feel for you. It's really defeating when, for whatever reason, your "programming" is so strong that it controls you. I know it all too well. And dissociation is my biggest monster to face. I'm really unequipped at this point but I also really want to. People like Heidi Priebe give me hope. I think she's done it. Don't give up on yourself. If it means anything... I, a random dude on the internet, am pulling for you.
My Brother, You had me at “Nobody watches this. I don’t want anybody TO watch this. I’m really just posting for me.” Fuck YES! I’m 100% ok with you! 🫵😁👍 [Edit] Heidi Priebe is a BOSS on trauma wounds, attachment theory, and sharing her unique life!.. and emotional neglect IS a thing. You’re not alone!
@@NathanSecretChannel Keep on keeping it real. I think authenticity win the day… maybe not the gerl… but certainly the day. I send you only love and encouragement in your recovery from your wounds of the past, your struggle in the present, and in your best life to come. You’re NOT alone! 🫵😇
Man, I am so grateful to the algorithm for suggesting one of your videos (the relationship one), I am going through a very similar thing and what you're talking about here is also so relatable and comforting in a way that makes me feel not alone. Thanks!
Sorry you're going through some hard times. But I'm really glad to hear that you're connecting. Feel free to share anything that comes up - I'd love to hear about it.. I just started my UA-cam so I'm totally down to share comments back and forth. I plan to keep posting so subscribe if you want to keep up with me.
And I don't know if you'd consider posting to YT but I'm finding it already beneficial. Something about the act of pushing something to the public, even if I'm not showing any friends or family, makes my really process the information.
I'm glad you're processing these things. I'd recommend the book Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks
Awesome. Thanks for the support and book rec. I added to my list to check out!
Keep on trucking, Nathan. Brilliant video! ATTACHMENT THEORY is critical to understanding one's personal history-as I discovered even AFTER you (post age 50). I, too, dealt with fighting parents when growing up. My childhood was NOT awful. but I definitely lived through "dark cloud" periods. Dysregulation can be caused by inner world/outer world misalignment VIA neglect. (Accidental neglect, in my case.) Feelings we "ought not feel." Bullshit! Anger, rage, even boredom. It's all part of reality!
I can totally relate. You are not alone in your struggle- I'm a big fan of Heidi Priebe.
I would suggest the “crappy Childhood Fairy” . Some of us suffered but not due to anything deliberate( death of a parent and the subsequent emotions from that). Simply circumstances. You are also describing what I call disassociation- sort of like waiting in the wings for your cue to go onstage. Good luck in your journey!
Oh man, you hit the bullseye with Crappy Childhood Fairy. I've been watching some of her videos and getting a lot of out them. You must be in a similar boat? And you're spot on with dissociation. I think this is one of my biggest hurdles. Thank you for the recommendation and support.
Hi Nathan,
Thank you for your reflection and openness.
For a long time I thought Heidi Priebe's videos needed this kind of deep reflection with pauses and introspection.
I do the same, but just journal/inner monologue. I believe it is important part of the healing journey.
I wish you all the best!
Solid analysis. Your thoughts are deep on this tough topic and I can see your curiosity at work. I believe willingness is half the battle in healing. Keep fighting, stay curious!
You are right about willingness. That's been one of the biggest hurdles to get myself started to moving towards healing and growth. Thanks for the support!
THANK YOU
If you're connecting with any of this, thank YOU
Future Nathan will be so proud of you!
I freeze. Unless i can flee.
I think I do a little of both. Mostly a freezer... but I wonder if my distraction techniques like eating, watching UA-cam, scrolling instagram, etc. are "flee" tactics.
The book “Healing the Shame that Binds You” by John Bradshaw is a book Heidi recommends. It has helped me understand shame in a way I have not experienced before…very good!!!
I've absolutely heard her recommend that. Alright, I'm going to need to read that. Thank you.
I would love to simply be able to stop dissociating by telling myself my emotions are important to pay attention to. I need a ton more work in meditation and mindfulness to get to that point. Great content, Nathan 😊
Dissociation feels like my BIGGEST blocker. I'm with you. And I don't know how to get out of it... yet. That's my hill to climb. Maybe it's yours too.
I understand. I really do.
Means there's always more to learn at least, especially about ourselves. Life would be insanely boring if we had nothing else to figure out or learn. So... at least there's that.
..... right? 🥺
You can heal in relationship with someone who knows how to do the authentic stuff, I just started this year going for a year it helps.
12:12-30 this is exactly how I feel about parenting
Me too, 100%.
Hi Nathan! This was such a good reaction video. I really appreciate hearing your take on her content. I've been following Heidi's channel for over a year now, and her content is amazing. I would say I'm somewhere between where you are and she is. I've had 3 years of therapy and I'm in ACA, a 12 step program for adult children of alcoholic and dysfunctional families, and the recovery we do there is very helpful for healing from childhood emotional neglect. There is a book published by ACA members called The Loving Parent Guidebook, and the aim is to reparent oneself and learn how to get in touch with one's inner child and emotions and learn to harness that intuition (because it was punished/repressed) to e.g. identify emotions and use that 'data' to get better at decision-making, and focus on oneself rather than others. I would also recommend Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody, who was one of the first researchers in this field.
Wow. This is a really thoughtful comment. Thank you for sharing. The Loving Parent Guidebook - I'm literally going to buy it right after I post this reply. It looks super relevant.
It's encouraging to hear that you're further down this growth path. I really really really want to be better.
Also, Heidi is incredible. The amount of "oh sh*t" moments I've had watching her videos, where she will verbalize something I had no vocabulary for.
Im at the same place man. Im trying to work these things out, and its very hard. Everything has gone sideways again. I have a lot of shame. Its humiliating when someone has been unfaithful. I repress my feelings to get along.
Im the master of dissociating.
I feel for you. It's really defeating when, for whatever reason, your "programming" is so strong that it controls you. I know it all too well. And dissociation is my biggest monster to face. I'm really unequipped at this point but I also really want to. People like Heidi Priebe give me hope. I think she's done it.
Don't give up on yourself. If it means anything... I, a random dude on the internet, am pulling for you.
Oh shit I got that loneliness stuff but only sometimes, like now. Hugs
What if you get shamed for expressing justifiable anger? Like if you are accused of things you didn’t do
I saw this. 😲
13:42 You missed dissassociate. Catatonic. Oh it is freeze.
Yeah, dissociation is a big one for me. And I think that falls under freeze. I don't know, I'm learning.
My Brother,
You had me at “Nobody watches this. I don’t want anybody TO watch this. I’m really just posting for me.”
Fuck YES!
I’m 100% ok with you!
🫵😁👍
[Edit]
Heidi Priebe is a BOSS on trauma wounds, attachment theory, and sharing her unique life!..
and emotional neglect IS a thing. You’re not alone!
Wow. Thanks so much for the support!
And it's cool that you're also part of the Heidi Priebe fan club.
@@NathanSecretChannel
Keep on keeping it real. I think authenticity win the day… maybe not the gerl… but certainly the day.
I send you only love and encouragement in your recovery from your wounds of the past, your struggle in the present, and in your best life to come.
You’re NOT alone!
🫵😇