Let me know: do you tend to self-abandon in relationships? Why do you think that is? To dig deeper, download the guide for journal prompts and ways to start saying "no" with grace: www.terricole.com/10-signs-youre-self-abandoning-guide And in case you missed it, today is the first day of my Epic Relationships Summit! Sign up for free here if you want to learn how to cultivate more fulfilling relationships of any kind: terricole.com/summit
Yes 👋 so me stopping the deny deflect argue fighting against the truth of self abandments of my value throught great videos and book my first audio book by you boundary boss It is ok for me to finally have a relationship with myself Thanks Terri C
Thank you! Terri for the word “self consideration”. I have never heard that concept in such a clear manner. Thank you for helping me get strong enough to stand up to Christian religious circles to stop over-volunteering. My health has really improved by implementing the skills you’ve shared. Blessings to you always. ❤
I could see a lot of myself in these traits. For me it definitely started in childhood. I have made some progress in this area in the last year or so and will continue to make changes. The changes may rock the boat😉 but it sure feels better being authentic and not abandoning myself as much as I used to. Looking forward to the journal prompts. Thank you so much for this!!!
I know all this from prior reading etc, but the way you talk, your voice, your shared experience and genuine empathy - it all makes the truths penetrate right to my heart. Thank you so much ❤
This very much hit a button in regards to my husband of many yrs! I’m now in a new relationship where I’m spoiled in such a caring way, and I’m both loving it and feeling a bit uncomfortable. Not in a bad way- but in an unfamiliar way. After listening to you I’m realizing why I feel the discomfort. I’m not used to being put first!
Thank you Terry for your wisdom, expertise and gentle loving approach towards life’s challenges. I can relate to this topic mainly because of my adoption experience, self abandoment ment my survival. Much love to you dear lady from Perth Australia 🇦🇺 ❤
I have been trying to help a friend escape an emotionally abusive relationship, and this video was perfectly timed to share with her. Thank you, Terri. Have a beautiful day.
When my partner gets upset or angry I feel desperate. My fear to let others down or see that they are sad because of me, makes me feel helpless. I know that others reactions and feelings is not my responsibility but STILL I can't give it up. It's exhausting.
Thank you so much for your amazing work, Terri! I follow your channel, IG and the podcast, and definitely resonate with this particular video and have resonated with so much work you put out in the past. I loved your book “Boundary Boss,” and definitely am getting “Too Much” as well. I have grown up not even knowing any other way to be but to repeatedly say, do and even think what those around me wanted from me. Anytime I would ever try to say anything to stand up for my views or feelings, it would turn out to be a huge argument/angry debate and I would walk away feeling like I was the problem, feeling shame and toxic guilt. I excelled in school and social life, I was doing absolutely amazing on the outside, but inside I was never happy; I had a few “lows” as a teen, when I would experience an emotional crisis, and at 26 years old I had a major existential crisis, while everyone around seemed to think I was doing amazingly well and checking out all the boxes. It took 8 years of deep, deep emotional,spiritual, and psychological work to realize what exactly happened in my past and who I really am, as well as what my real needs are. I am 34 and I would say I am in recovery from those tendencies, learning to listen to myself, consider myself and treat myself the way I always deserved to be treated. Thank you so much for your work again. This video has come at exactly perfect time as I am working on prioritizing my feelings and views in the smallest every day situations and learning to speak when I have something to say - wether it will feel warm and fuzzy or not really.
Thank you for being here and sharing your experience with us, Vera (and for reading my books!) ❤️ So many of the people in my crew have had similar experiences where they were made to feel 'wrong' growing up and just internalized it as "I'm the problem." So glad to hear you're in recovery from those tendencies because you are worthy!! ❤️❤️
Girl everytime I get notifications on your new videos and in every single video when you say please subscribe i check as if im not idk why i keep doing this every time lmao
As an analyst, do you advise your patients on how to modify their behavior? Or explain family systems to them? I thought that analysis was more passive and less proactive about mundane aspects of life. (I like the phrase: "The family organized around an addict." That says it all.)
Can you please turn up your volume? I am new here, thanks to hearing you on the I've Had It podcast! I am binge watching you and I've noticed that all of your videos are very low in volume. Thanks!
James Staples V . marceline MO. 10 months widowed from a 42 year marriage to a horrrid Vulnerable malignant narcisstist. First i stayed for the kids, then the g-kids; then she was slowly dying from having her polycycstic kidneys removed ; i could not abandon her, her last days would have been so cruel for her al Anyone she woould come into contact with. I am the Veteren Army of One. happy to serve, in fact my motto has been from one of my past military units. "Service first and always". now I am completely ,IDK. Who am I where am i why am i.??
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, James ❤️ Figuring out who we are after abusive relationships can be so difficult, especially when we were taught to serve others before ourselves. (I can relate!)
Let me know: do you tend to self-abandon in relationships? Why do you think that is? To dig deeper, download the guide for journal prompts and ways to start saying "no" with grace: www.terricole.com/10-signs-youre-self-abandoning-guide
And in case you missed it, today is the first day of my Epic Relationships Summit! Sign up for free here if you want to learn how to cultivate more fulfilling relationships of any kind: terricole.com/summit
Yes, the 'good woman' thing was a whole thing. Interested if it is still this way?
Yes 👋 so me stopping the deny deflect argue fighting against the truth of self abandments of my value throught great videos and book my first audio book by you boundary boss
It is ok for me to finally have a relationship with myself
Thanks Terri C
I almost abandoned myself by going into work instead of caring for me. I sent a sick day text. No more self abandoning self care.
That's so huge, Krista, way to go!! 🙌 🙌
Yes putting yourself first over any felt sense of obligation is a healthy choice, and challenges the people-pleasing martyrdom behaviors.
I Do Not know the Myself I abandoned; doubt I would recognise or like him. kinda sux
Literally me today
That color is great on you Terri!
Thank youuu ❤️
I love the fact it's never too late to change. To rewrite the unstated family contracts. I've put my foot down lately.
Right on!!! 🙌🙌
Thank you! Terri for the word “self consideration”. I have never heard that concept in such a clear manner. Thank you for helping me get strong enough to stand up to Christian religious circles to stop over-volunteering. My health has really improved by implementing the skills you’ve shared. Blessings to you always. ❤
That makes me so happy to hear, LadySunflower ❤️❤️
It's amazing that I strongly identify with self-abandonment AND high-functioning co-dependent! Thank you Terri!!!
I could see a lot of myself in these traits. For me it definitely started in childhood. I have made some progress in this area in the last year or so and will continue to make changes. The changes may rock the boat😉 but it sure feels better being authentic and not abandoning myself as much as I used to. Looking forward to the journal prompts. Thank you so much for this!!!
Right on, Denise- rock the boat! We can be authentic, kind, and compassionate without self-abandoning. 💕
I know all this from prior reading etc, but the way you talk, your voice, your shared experience and genuine empathy - it all makes the truths penetrate right to my heart. Thank you so much ❤
Thank YOU for being here, watching, and leaving this comment 💕
This has been my issue and thank goodness there is a name for it! Awareness makes a huge difference! It’s the start of change.
I totally agree, Nicole! 💕
You are an amazing communicator things really clicked for me listening to you.THANK YOU SO MUCH
That makes me so happy to hear 💕
This very much hit a button in regards to my husband of many yrs! I’m now in a new relationship where I’m spoiled in such a caring way, and I’m both loving it and feeling a bit uncomfortable. Not in a bad way- but in an unfamiliar way. After listening to you I’m realizing why I feel the discomfort. I’m not used to being put first!
Yes, thank you for sharing, Susan- this is so common and normal among people in my crew because it IS unfamiliar 💕
Thank you Terry for your wisdom, expertise and gentle loving approach towards life’s challenges.
I can relate to this topic mainly because of my adoption experience, self abandoment ment my survival.
Much love to you dear lady from Perth Australia 🇦🇺 ❤
❤️❤️❤️
I have been trying to help a friend escape an emotionally abusive relationship, and this video was perfectly timed to share with her. Thank you, Terri. Have a beautiful day.
My heart goes out to your friend ❤️ I hope it's helpful!
Thank you, @@terri_cole. Sadly, it wasn't. She chose to continue being abused and blaming herself. I had to let go. 😢
Self consideration
When my partner gets upset or angry I feel desperate. My fear to let others down or see that they are sad because of me, makes me feel helpless. I know that others reactions and feelings is not my responsibility but STILL I can't give it up. It's exhausting.
Thank you so much for your amazing work, Terri!
I follow your channel, IG and the podcast, and definitely resonate with this particular video and have resonated with so much work you put out in the past. I loved your book “Boundary Boss,” and definitely am getting “Too Much” as well.
I have grown up not even knowing any other way to be but to repeatedly say, do and even think what those around me wanted from me. Anytime I would ever try to say anything to stand up for my views or feelings, it would turn out to be a huge argument/angry debate and I would walk away feeling like I was the problem, feeling shame and toxic guilt. I excelled in school and social life, I was doing absolutely amazing on the outside, but inside I was never happy; I had a few “lows” as a teen, when I would experience an emotional crisis, and at 26 years old I had a major existential crisis, while everyone around seemed to think I was doing amazingly well and checking out all the boxes. It took 8 years of deep, deep emotional,spiritual, and psychological work to realize what exactly happened in my past and who I really am, as well as what my real needs are. I am 34 and I would say I am in recovery from those tendencies, learning to listen to myself, consider myself and treat myself the way I always deserved to be treated. Thank you so much for your work again. This video has come at exactly perfect time as I am working on prioritizing my feelings and views in the smallest every day situations and learning to speak when I have something to say - wether it will feel warm and fuzzy or not really.
Thank you for being here and sharing your experience with us, Vera (and for reading my books!) ❤️ So many of the people in my crew have had similar experiences where they were made to feel 'wrong' growing up and just internalized it as "I'm the problem." So glad to hear you're in recovery from those tendencies because you are worthy!! ❤️❤️
@@terri_cole ❤️Thank you! I have full body goose bumps reading your reply. You are doing such crucial work in the world.
You're so welcome ❤️ I appreciate you!
Girl everytime I get notifications on your new videos and in every single video when you say please subscribe i check as if im not idk why i keep doing this every time lmao
Lol! Thank you for subscribing and watching 💕💕
Wonderful video thank you 🙂
You're so welcome 💕
Thank you for your videos and books!
Very helpful. Thank you ❤
So glad it was helpful ❤️
Much needed thank you 🙏🏻 ❤
You're so welcome 💕
As an analyst, do you advise your patients on how to modify their behavior? Or explain family systems to them? I thought that analysis was more passive and less proactive about mundane aspects of life. (I like the phrase: "The family organized around an addict." That says it all.)
You're such a badass!❤
❤️
thank you for a timely essential video. p.s. you are so pretty you look like margot robbie 😄
💕
Can you please turn up your volume? I am new here, thanks to hearing you on the I've Had It podcast! I am binge watching you and I've noticed that all of your videos are very low in volume. Thanks!
James Staples V . marceline MO. 10 months widowed from a 42 year marriage to a horrrid Vulnerable malignant narcisstist. First i stayed for the kids, then the g-kids; then she was slowly dying from having her polycycstic kidneys removed ; i could not abandon her, her last days would have been so cruel for her al Anyone she woould come into contact with. I am the Veteren Army of One. happy to serve, in fact my motto has been from one of my past military units. "Service first and always". now I am completely ,IDK. Who am I where am i why am i.??
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, James ❤️ Figuring out who we are after abusive relationships can be so difficult, especially when we were taught to serve others before ourselves. (I can relate!)
I am an abandoholic.
I'm new. Hi.
Welcome Stacey, glad to have you here!
Thanks,Terri. I resonate with your story. This was me for many years. I humbled by your darma. You are a blessing. 🫶
Thank you, Donna 💕 I appreciate you!