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Emma, I feel weird asking but I've been genuinely wondering and even a bit concerned since you're in toronto where you hate it, but are you still with your partner who you moved with? Obviously you don't need to answer, it just feels like you're not bc you travel with family it seems and not a partner and you haven't mentioned your partner in a long while (that i can recall). If you're single now I really do hope that you can find a place wherever the heck makes you happy cuz Toronto ain't it and I don't blame you, esp with an anxiety disorder. I would love so much if you moved home or found a place close to your family (if you're not with your partner anymore) you're always so glowy and lit from within when you're home!! Your brother is hilarious and you two just seem so... weightless? when you're vlogging or doing the mystery novels and when you're in Toronto your energy just gets heavy so fast :( Obviously if you still have your partner I understand the conflict and wanting to be with them while needing to find a balance and how that is soooo hard when they are there for work and you're able to work from everywhere! You're just a few years older than my oldest kid and my second is in uni taking English so the maternal part of me is genuinely concerned and just want to see you looking and feeling happy, not faking it for the camera but truly BEING it! Sorry for prying. So many people care for you as a person and not as a content creator, afterall you're a person first!
Oh, my god. This was so wholesome and sweet. The effort you took, ma'am, to say all this tells me you're a kind person. Sorry if I seem overdramatic but I just wanted to let you know. I know this comment is not addressed to me 😂
This is the comment I've been trying to write for months, but I couldn't find the right words. Sometimes the right words require the right writer. Beautifully said.
I have felt the same for some time regarding her partner, but didn't have the nerve to ask. I hope whatever the underlying cause to her anxiety can be resolved in time. Great post by the way.
@@ba-gg6jo I too felt it very weird. I know it's weird to keep track but I haven't heard boyfriend or partner in any of her vlogs or videos since the Italy trip It's also weird to mention this but the apartment itself feels like it's housing only emma and the cats at current
I’ve never heard anxiety described as making you feel younger than you are. As a 28 year old who suffers really bad with anxiety, still living at home, watching your friends and family grow, feeling stuck and scared to grow yourself. Thank you for these words, for making me feel a little less alone 🧡
I’ll be 40 in September and I’m still with my parents, and will be until death separates us. I have a lot of medical issues, including anxiety, diabetes, and am on the spectrum. My parents are my best friends and we get along amazingly well (most of the time, my dad especially can be quite annoying) and we really rely on one another. I wouldn’t want to live a different life, even with all the money in the world making any life possible.
Oh Emma 😭❤️ I resonate with so much of this. I also live in this city and deal with horrible anxiety that has been extra bad this year. People especially my parents have told me to stop being anxious and to try meditation and yoga instead of therapy and if I just tried hard enough that it would "go away" and I needed to stop being so childish and scared of everything. I've never "grown out" of it either and it's because how can anyone help their anxiety calm down when everyone and everything around them is pressuring and belittling those feelings? It's frankly the opposite of what an anxious body and mind needs. I'm sending you all my love, know you're never alone and there's people out there including me who share so many of your experiences (from concussions to hating Toronto to loving reading) and that you're always seen here ❤
Hey Emma. I appreciate your honesty and openness. As someone who is also in there 20’s, I hear you and can relate. Especially as we start navigating life as an adult, there are numerous anxiety provoking moments. However, it’s always nice knowing that you aren’t the only person who feels this way. Whether you know it or not, you continue to inspire people everyday. Your videos are truly something I always look forward to. I hope you continue to have an amazing summer (even though the heat wave is lowkey unbearable at times😂)
I had such bad anxiety for so many years. Starting in my early twenties and each year it would get a bit worse until finally it peaked right before my 30th birthday. It felt like I was in this dark hole of despair and it was honestly so scary. I was (like so many people) really hesitant to start medication but all my family and doctors were adamant that I give it a go and wow oh wow did it change my life. It really highlighted to me that anxiety was just this chemical imbalance in my brain and even such a low dose of medication was enough for it to balance out. And now I almost feel invincible in the best way possible. I watch myself go through things that would’ve sent me into a spiral but instead I’m calm and rational and it’s just the best thing that ever happened to me. Anyways I just wanted to share my story in case it can help anyone because being stuck with a brain that’s causing so much psychological pain is truly horrible.
Same here! Medication has helped me so much with anxiety ❤ Also even just taking melatonin could help with sleep issues that the day time anxiety would be at a lower level.
I’m at a breaking point with my anxiety and finally seeking medication after many years of being super resistant to it. I’m hoping to have a similar experience to yours. 🖤
@WishAtElevenEleven It wasn't overnight, but it did happen. There are different meds and doses. I hope you find what fits best and feel your life open up. 😊
Thank goodness for your bravery and vulnerability with sharing your experience with anxiety! This is exactly how I feel! Like how do people not worry about everything all day long? What do you mean people don’t pack every single emergency medication for every possible situation that could occur? Blows my mind … i love how you said “experience anxiety safely” because ultimately anxiety is a big liar and tries to rob you of joy. So experiencing it safely for me means to realize that the things I’m anxious about have not occurred yet so there isn’t a reason to worry at the moment … still something I work on every single day
Hey Emma, I’m only a bit older than you and after almost 10 years of struggling with anxiety and trying to “manage” it without going down the meds route, earlier this year became really difficult as I was having panic attacks almost daily, crying every day wondering when would it end, barely able to leave my house, countless hours of therapy… I finally decided to try meds. I resisted for so long, but I hit a breaking point as I wasn’t able to function normally and it was taking a toll on my quality of life. I’m not sure if you’re at that point, but I just wanted to say that, contrary to what I thought for so long, meds don’t mean you’ve given up or aren’t strong enough - some of us are just wired differently and we need a bit of help. Anxiety and panic disorders are most often a chemical imbalance, and we need a little nudge to find a balance again - and theres’s nothing wrong with that. Anyways, this experience is still super new to me and I 100% relate to what you’re going through so I thought I’d share. Hang in there girl. You fucking got this.
this vlog reminded me of a poem i wrote a while back: Anxiety, the devil that you are Whispering ferociously in my ears all the time Sending my poor soul into a constant fight-or-flight A black cloud, slowly eating at me from the inside Dread and impending doom: sweat trickles down my face I feel you creeping up on me, the goosebumps start to raise They tell me I’ll grow out of it, that it’s just a childish fear But I’m still that kid, on the bathroom floor, eyes full of tears Fifth grade, my back against the door “Why does no one else feel this?” On my diary, I wrote The only thing that has changed now Is that the waves come at me with soul-crushing pounds Will I ever be free from your shackles? Will I stop hearing your familiar evil cackles? I envy those who have never known you I’d give everything for a moment of peace: a life without blue
I have to stop watching midway and comment because 22:25 “ah, I wore my lemon shirt today!” is literally the purest moment I have ever seen in a vlog. ❤ Oh my god. Okay, back to watching.
thank you so much emmie for sharing your life the way that u do, it's so comforting knowing I somehow feel so connected with someone so far away from me. I'm very anxious as well cause things in my life are about to change, so your video came in handy
You brighten my day. My dog had a mole removed and they think its cancer. You are a comfort for me and I hope, we, that follow you brighten your day too.❤
i just saw "moving" in the title, and now i need a bookshelf organization in a huge, beautiful libary!! also, it's so wonderful you open up about your struggles knowing that others will feel seen. ❤❤❤
Emma, I know exactly where you are coming from when it comes to anxiety. I think it is safe to say that a lot of people are also on the anxiety bus. I am in my early 30's and my anxiety and depression have never left me. I have learned how to grow along with the challenges of life and figuring out my own shit and my anxiety and depression have also been a long for the ride. You are absolutely right when you said that it never leaves you and feeling like we are not a functioning adult can really kick us down. I know people older than me that still struggle with it. We are here for you and you are doing a fantastic job. Yes, even when you feel like you aren't doing enough, you're still doing great. We are our own worst critic and we need to remember to be kinder to ourselves. I still have days when I struggle with my mental health and try to remember to be kind to myself. You got this Emma! I know something is gonna bloom and give you an opportunity to get out of the city life. Like what the Count said "Wait and hope".❤ Things will fall into place. Sending you, Grendel and Calcifer lots of love!
EMMA!!! I am 9 weeks pregnant now (yay) but it also meant that I am in the depth misery of nausea, vomitting, fatigue and insomnia. Listening to you talking about it is so validating- but if it helps you, try rubbing/massaging magnesium oil/spray on your feet and your neck. It has helped me a TON! Also loving your new hair! Sending love to youuuu
Hi Emma. A longtime viewer, and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your candor in regards to your anxiety. As a person with lifelong anxiety, I want to reassure you that even if anxiety can't be fully eliminated, there are skills that can make it more manageable. We all support you, and I believe in you that you will be able to overcome the overwhelming-ness of your anxiety. Your anxiety does not define you, and I know that you have a bright future ahead of you and that through hard work, things will get better. We're all here for you.
Ah it broke my heart when you talked about past advice you’ve received that has led you to believe that you’re ‘stuck’ or prevented you from feeling like an adult. But I do understand where you’re coming from. What I really related to is when you said that you can’t believe there are people out there living without anxiety. I think about that often! For me, the mindset that has helped me deal with my general anxiety is that although I may never live without it, I will learn to live alongside it. I hope this offers you some tiny piece of hope. We’re here for you, Emma. Thank you for sharing these very human slices of life with us 💕
hey emma, hope you take a moment to read this. I think its really brave you talking about this really complicated situations. I can relate a lot with that feeling, and although people have completely different journeys with mental health, I want to tell you that even though it’s really hard to find a way to understand why a lot of things are in your life, at the end of the day maybe we can’t slip away with this, but we can handle it in the best way possible. I know my opinion may not impact as much as I would like, however, I feel the need to say that you are doing so well, and you began to feel that way at the moment you wanted to feel better, its not when you get to the point to control all of it, it’s when you start to be aware of wanting a better relation with your mental health. I personally have been struggling with depression and anxiety, I was diagnosed with dysthymia, a long-term way of depression. at this journey I have learned so many things, but at the same time I had been struggling to continue many times. last April I had a really traumatic event that I couldn’t handle. It was then that at beginning of may I planned *that thing* and tried mid of that month with no success and two weeks later again. the last time it was my sister’s birthday. when you said you were going to stay with your family somehow I felt relief. family is the best medicine sometimes. that’s how I have survived since June. and to be honest, now i feel so much better. yes, sometimes i have my struggles, but with the support of family, a DBT therapy, and the special medical treatment that my psychiatrist has given to me, it starts showing progress. yes, it has been long, i mean since early 2020, but patience at this point it’s what makes the difference. be patient, and keep brave. hope you have a great time with your family, you deserve it. it’ll pass 🤍
This video found me in the best time possible. I’m struggling with anxiety and what feels like depression and these days have been a huge struggle for me. I find it impossible to live in my body and my mind sometimes and I was starting to feel quite lonely for the past couple of days. Not that I’m happy that you and other people struggle with mental health but it’s such a huge relief to hear that I’m not alone. It makes me feel comforted and it gives me hope, so thank you for sharing you thoughts and feelings (I for sure know it’s not an easy topic to talk about) because you DO help us. Thanks again Emma, you are one of my favorite online people ❤️🙏🏼
I’m struggling to put my thoughts into words right now but I just wanted to leave a comment to say how much I relate to your experiences with anxiety and that I appreciate it so much that you share that part of your life. It really does make me feel less alone in what I feel.
There was a time I watched your videos without missing one, then life got hectic. Now I got my own book account and I remembered you, that you were literally my favorite booktuber and I wanted to know how you are, I'm so glad I came back to find your youtube. Now I actually read a lot so it's a new perspective! You're so nice to hear!!
Emmie, IDK if you will see this but this has worked to help reduce my anxiety significantly: yoga nidra, daily yoga, anxiety journaling. Also regularly talking with my behavioral health specialist. Another thing I tried was EFT Tapping, it really works for some people but I am not too experienced wih it yet. Good luck, and know that you are not alone!
Life is like a roller coaster we experience the peaks and falls, the falls are the most tough but they do make the peaks well worth it ♥️ being open and honest with your mental health struggles is very healing, at least in my experience it has been. Rest assured, at 31 years old with a big kid job, a big kid house, and taking care of big personality furry children I have yet to have “grown out of” my anxiety. It’s a part of who I am. Life is hard, and some of us just feel the hardness a bit more than others sometimes ♥️
Your explanation of how anxiety feels to you is so relatable. I always felt like I was insane when I would explain to people that I wake up with feeling like something horrible is going to happen or I’m going to die. Thanks for sharing your experience ❤
I am currently doing pretty badly too. I have severe anxiety disorder, among other diagnoses. I’m constantly tired and so busy with myself and my own mind that sometimes, when I look up, I sort of realise like “damn, there’s other people and things present too”. I also live in a city with so much noise and people and I relate to you so much about hating where you live. My bf and I are moving to a quiet(er) place at the end of this year and I hope that will be possible for you too! Also, I recently posted a comment about adopting a cat and he has been helping me so much; just petting and talking to him is so calming and I’m sure Cal and Gren help you with that too ❤
Hi Emmie :) I just wanted to say I adore your channel so much and I see a lot of myself in you and your content. I feel very seen while watching your videos and I just wish you the best :) thank you sm for this place on the internet. I hope the future treats you well
Sending you so much love and strength ❤️ I resonate so much with what you’re saying, so I’m wishing it gets better for you very very soon. Be kind to yourself!
I understand the anxiety and I am honored that you're willing to talk it out with us. I keep feeling like I'm behind in life at 23 when i look at my peers. I have been having a horrible anxiety day that got topped off by my fiance having to put down his family dog. I know these days will pass but they suck so bad being in them. Your video made me feel heard/seen and cheered me up. I thank you for that ❤
I very rarely comment on any videos, but I felt that I have to since you describing the anxiety, how it makes you feel younger than you are, how ppl say that you'll grow out of it, it all just hit home so much for me and I just sat there and cried my eyes out but mostly not because it made me feel bad but it just made me feel like im not the only person out there having these problems, experiences and thoughts and I also want to let you know that you're one of the very few content creators that make feel like home and I watch your videos whenever I need to feel more calm or just to take my mind of of whatever makes me anxious, and every time it works, so I just wanted to thank you so much for your hard work and all the thought that you put into your vlogs
I grew up with anxiety, I remember having it since 10 years old. When I was 17, I started having panic attacks. The panic attacks now start when I'm in really bad mental state, so I managed to control them. But the anxiety is still here, sometimes I feel like i can't to anything because of it. And I really felt what you said about anxiety makes you feel younger. Everyone around me are like "you're gonna grow out of it". But Im also in my 20s and I never did. My mental health is really bad these past 2 years, because of other stuff as well, but having anxiety also adds to it. In 2022 I watched this swedish tv show "Young Royals" and I saw myself in the main character, because of the anxiety and panic attacks (and also the character itself). They really showed it in such a real way. I never saw this on screen, I never felt more seen in my life. The tv show became my safe space for the last two years. And watching your channel. Watching your videos always calms me down, thank you❤ But I stopped reading books, because of life I guess, but also because of my mental health. I really stopped doing everything I love. Watching your videos was the only way of me being close to literature again. Recently I bought new books and I'm planning to start reading again, because that was my favorite thing ever, I don't feel myself without books. I also plan to study literature soon. I was so confused, so sad, struggled with my bad mental health these last years that I feel like I stopped living. I think this is the first time I'm leaving a comment under your video, but I've watched every single one of them for 3 years now. Thank you again for the safe space your vidoes had become. My comment is a bit messy, but well whatever.
Watching this while breathing through my period cramps. Thank you for the 100s of videos you have made over the years Emma. Sometimes it makes me a bit sad that we aren’t just real friends who met in school or something like that. You share so much with us i wish i could share back.
Emma, I myself have a severe anxiety disorder AND panic disorder. Saying that it makes my life hell is putting it very lightly ... my thoughts are with you, I really understand how you feel! For me, it has come to the point where I'm just extremely anxious all day every day, and it can be so scary. The breathing ... oh my god. I really felt it to my core when you said you were breathless because you woke up anxious. It sucks so much. Just remember that you're not alone! And being anxious for no particular reason, all day, it can make you feel like something is seriously wrong with you. I am so happy to see this video, it makes me feel less alone in it, and it reminds me that there are other people who get anxious for no reason and also can ve anxious pretty much all day. Hope you're better now 💚
I've had a hunch for a while that you had broken up with your partner but just didn't want to mention it because it would have hurt and it's none of anyone's business. But since then I've always thought why doesn't she go home now why doesn't she go live out of the city, why not live with her family and be happy (which I KNOW is not that simple!!!) but I've always been like she has definitely thought of that and she doesn't need an unsolicited opinion. But now I'm here with the mom saying go get em girl! ❤️
Wow Emma thank you so much for opening up about your health and struggles, it's very hard to do. I've had insomnia for about a year now and I just have to tell you that 1. Try not to panic - we need the sleep our bodies give us, so it's actually really ok to just get 2-3 hours a night, esp short term. 2. The only thing that helped me was a good acupuncturist, which I recommend to help with the anxiety, which for me was also linked to sleep.
If you have a top loading washer, you could pop the front panel off and see if the missing socks are back there :) I use to have to do it routinely. Also- for power outages if your put bags of ice in the fridge it helps keep the food cold.
I’m glad you passed on the moldering house owned by a hoarder. That house could very well have made you very ill. I develop more anxiety as I age but I did not have it as a child or a young adult. I wish you all the best in finding a healthy home and in finding help and tools to work through bouts of anxiety. Take great care.
Thank you for sharing your anxieties & mental health struggles it's always very hood to see youtubers who don't hide behind fake wholesomeness or are overly sacurant ❤❤❤
Emma, as a person who also struggles with anxiety in my late twenties, I relate so much to what you said here. So many tell us that it's something that goes away, and frankly, it isn't. The conditions that cause this anxiety may alleviate but we are stuck with the brains that respond to those conditions with anxiety for the rest of our lives. I'm really impressed and inspired by your approach to this and I want to thank you for being so candid as always and providing a light on this godforsaken website.
Ik I'm a little late, but I used to have horrible anxiety to the point of being diagnosed w panic disorder. You are on the right path, you are in the right headspace for growth. My anxiety was something I could no longer ignore and pretend wasn't a burden to make others (and myself) feel more "normal". My biggest lesson was learning that it's OK to struggle with something you have realized you won't grow out of. Make space for it instead. You are right, grow into your anxiety and allow yourself to feel every second of it in a safe way, you are not alone and your vulnerability is a strength 💕
I've been diagnosed with generalised anxiety a few years ago, and I just want to say that I feel sorry for everyone who has to go through it! I send a hug to you all! Never give up the hope that it can get better.♡
Dear Enma, Thank you so much for this video. I loved the Autumn and Blacktip Shark sweaters, such perfectly cozy reading attire! Thank you also for courageously sharing your anxiety struggles with us; it's so difficult when we're given incorrect advice, I think it compunds our efforts to manage the issue. I hope that you find true peace and joy, because you are a ver rare gem in this crazy world. Take care. ❤❤❤
As someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I just wanna say, I'm always happy to hear about other people's experiences with anxiety because although our struggles might not be the same, they feel parallel. Sending you love Emma
i really really appreciate how openly you talk about anxiety. i've also had anxiety attacks since i can remember, since i was a kid, and it means a lot knowing that someone has had similar struggles. i hope someday we can all find peace, love from spain.
Totally get you on poor sleep and anxiety. When my anxiety was really bad I would often not fall asleep until 2 or 3 or 4 am. The anxiety got bad enough for me (mainly agoraphobia) that I ended up going on medication for 8 months, which made a massive positive difference to my mental health. It's more of a subtle background feature of my life now. Best wishes to you!
Your life is such a comfort and there is such a soft touch to your vlogs, you may not experience any peace bc anxiety does that to the body but know that peace flogs through your content and it has such purpose 😊 I love you so much and you’re seen, your anxiety is real and known.
Thanks for sharing this Emma. I cannot imagine what you’re going through and as a fellow person in their 20s, I also think being told you’ll “grow out of things” is despicable. We have to work on these things and having gone to therapy, having tools to deal with mental illness is incredibly valuable. However, we have to remember that although we feel mature in our twenties. We really have so much growing up to do still. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you should be proud how far you’ve come!
I discovered your channel when I was about 13 years old. Now I’m 17. And this video kinda shows a new side of you which I relate so much with. I also suffer from anxiety and seeing people who have that too just makes me feel better. Usually I see UA-camrs who only show their good times but you show all your sides. I really enjoy watching your vids❤
I have also struggled with anxiety since i was a kid. it is so incredibly isolating to feel this way and to hear people say “it’s just in your head!” never helps. i’m in college and am 20 (but i’ll be 21 this friday) and i am still struggling. it’s honestly gotten even worse than how it was before. Anyway I just wanted to thank you for sharing this, we are not alone. We have each other and our loved ones to help guide us
i teared up when you started to talk about your anxiety in childhood because i can relate so much. i’m only seventeen but this is something that’s been absolutely eating at me from the inside for years and years, i’ve never been open about it with anyone because i have issues with trust and vulnerability, but every time i hear about it being talked about, it’s always “oh don’t worry it’ll be over soon” or “you’ll grow out of it!” but i’m starting to lose that idea and hope that i was holding onto so tightly for so long. thank you for being so open about it, i know it’s really hard but thank you for making me feel more seen.♥️♥️
hello! just wanted to say that I’m also someone who struggles with insomnia and I very often wake up at 2, 3 or 4 am, especially during the summer months. when I was younger I used to get up and go do something or watch some television but I’ve found that something that really helps me not get too tired during the day from lack of sleep is to stay in bed until the hour that I normally wake up, either staring at my ceiling or reading a book on my kindle with dark mode on. I try to do as little as possible and think as little as possible (I usually pick a lighter read on these occasions) as to let my body and my brain rest even though I can’t sleep, and I always keep the lights turned off. during the day I still feel more tired than usual but a lot less tired than if I immediately get up. I know that this isn’t a super innovative method and you might have heard it from someone else but still I wanted to share it in case it helps
Your openness about anxiety is important and it's helpful for me in my profession to hear more about it. I work with teens at a mainstream school and many of them have mental issues like anxiety, which I don't so I cannot relate, but research and talking to others about it helps me to better understand and assist my students. You are a rockstar! Keep doing your thang!
The first booktuber i started watching because of the great book recs you would read/get from around the world and now when I see others doing it now, I always think of you!
i’ll be 20 in a few months, and these little vlogs have been kind of a blanket of sorts of preparing me for that part of my life, they make me feel so much less worried and alone that these things are normal human experiences and that just because i'm an adult it shouldn't mean that life will inexplicably fix itself, just trying to take things slow, face the challenges, and grow at my own pace, just learning to enjoy my existence
thank you for sharing your struggles with anxiety. I also have anxiety and what's really challenging for me is having this belief that i'm suffering at my own hands... or that "if i just did therapy, exercise, take care of myself, spend less time on my phone, move to different place, socialize more, find a more fulfilling job, eat right, etc, it will go away" and if i'm not doing those things it will get worse. And if i'm having a long spell of anxiety it must be because one of those things is lacking or I'm not doing enough. I think it comes from a place of not accepting that we're wired differently, it's not our fault, and sometimes trying and trying and trying to do everything right so there's no longer a breeding ground for anxiety is actually making it worse. Ugh I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope it helps in some small way shape or form to know you're not alone.
You mentioned in an earlier video that you get nervous and don't like people touching your head, so the fact that you went to the hairdresser is amazing!❤
You are honestly my most comfort youtuber ever. watching your vlogs is so calming and as a person with anxiety i feel completely understood by you. Almost watched all of your videos ever. Have been watching your vids since the first "little book libraries" video.
I had never experience anxiety until this year. I had a rough 2023 and this year is not better and finally everything manifested. I’ve been trying to understand my anxiety and what triggers it, although I don’t have full blown panic attacks. And (this might be weird), because of that I discredit my anxiety, because I don’t have panic attacks, so I think it’s not “serious” or not that bad. But I’ve had to learn that even if I don’t have panic attacks, feeling anxious, high heart rate and other symptoms, it’s still serious and I have to address it. Thank you so much for this vlog, it truly made me feel like I’m not alone 🩷 Let’s hope for better days 💜
Hi Emma, I don't know if you'll ever read this comment, but I just wanted to wish you a good birthday week, despite everything you shared here, despite "life on earth" being difficult. For your birthday, I wish you fall in love with yourself and with life around you. We know love is not always easy nor stable, but true love is forever despite being made of ups and downs- moments of ins and out, and that’s what I wish for you. There are many things I'd like to talk about (growing-up and the expectations around it, uncontrollable factors we have to live with, what life is, etc) but I'm just a 29 year old Italian young woman that never comments so I don't have the gift of conciseness (plus a lot of people already commented on all those topics). I hope speaking up about your struggles helps you first, and if so, I hope you use this space to do what you like/what you need/what you want. Ciao from the other side of the Atlantic 😊
Emma i am currently crying bc deep cleaning the kitchen is a tasks i ve been meaning to do since my flatmates left for summer, and I finally decided today is the day but im dreading it so much! Im honestly so grateful for having this long video to keep me company and comfort while i do it. Wishing you all the best, you re an amazing person that deserves the world!!
Oh, Emma, I just think you are wonderful and my heart breaks for you and all that you have experienced daily for years now. You bring so much joy to your viewers and I wish there was something we could do to help you feel better. The only things that help me with crippling anxiety is to give myself all the things that bring relief. I am not working atm so I just read a lot, cook, and hang with my dog. Watch movies, too, and walk in nature. If I stay away from these things for too long, things get bleak quickly so it’s a full-time job for me to take care of myself in these ways. I used to think this was selfish but age has helped me to see that it’s just very smart. Also, perspective. When I was suffering with Endometriosis for years, I constantly reminded myself that things could be so much worse even tho I’d lost so many things that I loved while fighting that disease(relationships and my career). People say, when things get rough, why me? I’ve always said, why not me? Believe it or not, it helps. Just know that you are precious beyond measure and you are worth every good thing on earth. Never give up and visit with us as much as you need. We all think the world of you and will always be here for you. ❤
Anxiety is tricky business. What annoys me is that when I get over a bout of anxiety or a full-blown attack (which is not that common for me anymore thankfully) my immediate thought is that next time I won't let that overwhelm me because I know from years of experience now that I'm panicking over nothing, but then when next time comes around, I still panic. It makes me feel a little hopeless. Like this is just going to hit me out of nowhere many times in my life and I can't do anything to fight it. But what is working for me a little bit now is when I'm anxious, just trying to make a tiny bit of progress with it each time. If I break down my anxiety into different symptoms and feelings, I can start trying to control just one of them, and maybe regularly regain 5% control whenever I have an attack. Then, I can work on a different sensation and start conquering that, building my control up to 10%. This won't work for everyone, and just based on how you've described your anxiety, I think we experience it differently. But the point is that you can develop a strategy to overcome it. And if you give it your all and it doesn't work, try a new strategy. Just like you said, we're not going to grow out of it. Nothing changes if we change nothing. I hope you feel better soon!
One thing you said stuck with me the most. I am 38 years old and my anxiety makes me feel like a child who constantly needs holding hand. I don't feel like I can confront life and the world around me because I am constantly scared of everything...and I need to be an example to my son. How...? How do people do this?
hi emma!! i just wanted to remind you that you are doing your very best 🫂 as someone who's been suffering from severe anxiety for pretty much my entire life, i promise you that you are so much more than your anxiety. sending you so much love and support, i hope seeing your family will help make you feel more at ease 🤍🫂
Dear Emma, you are so inspiring ❤ Thanks for sharing everything you shared here, your books, your laundry pile, your window scenes, your mental health. I am a 30+ mom of 2 little ones living in another country that is not my own and honestly I have and still continue to learn so much from you. I just want to say you are stronger than you think, you are wonderful and you are not your anxiety. Sending you a big virtual hug. You project goodness and goodness will come your way. Thank you and love you! Xx M
When my anxiety is at its worst, my need for sleep and my ability to sleep are both greatly reduced. I get 4-5hrs per night, when normally I need about 9 hrs per night. I’m 34, and was diagnosed in my 20s but I’ve had it my whole life. It’s the worst, and I’m finally at a breaking point where I’m seeking medication to help because I haven’t been able to manage it on my own. I truly hope all who are struggling with anxiety and other mental health conditions find a way out of it. 🖤
Thank you for talking about your anxiety and for saying all those touching things. You make me feel so seen. Know that you’re not alone and that we appreciate you so much 🧡
i struggled with crippling anxiety attacks for 2 years, from age 17 to 19. It was the absolute worst period of my life. I couldn't leave the house or go to school without needing to run away, find a bathroom, and violently throw up. I tried every natural solution -- cold showers, breathing exercises, peppermint and ginger candy, talk therapy. Nothing made a difference until I started medication. I was first prescribed an SSRI that really didn't work for me, so I was getting extremely discouraged. But I still decided to push through, and try the next medication my psych recommended, an SSRI called Lexapro. This made all the difference for me. In a matter of weeks I was myself again; I could go outside, look people in the eye, and complete my basic adult responsibilities. I can happily say that at age 20, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've had bad anxiety in the past year, whereas before it was a daily struggle. I never would've expected medication alone to be able to do this but it is really powerful. So in summary -- please, find a good psychiatrist, tell them everything, and take what they give you. Chances are they will start you on an SSRI; these are the safest, most recent medications for anxiety/depression and they can work magic, even though it might take a while to find the right one. I am rooting for you 💜
The way you talked about anxiety was so poetic and I could feel your emotions through it, I'm so sorry you're going through it, but just want to say the way you edited it was really beautiful
The house hunting segment made me feel so sad I'm so happy i still live with my mum just need to go and give her a quick squeeze ❤ I hope you find a place that makes you feel at home and brings you happiness and ease to your soul. Also thank you for the anxiety talks i think this is the most reassuring representation I've seen it helps to know I'm not alone in feeling this way ❤❤
When you spoke about wanting to move to Kelowna once, my heart dropped at the possibility of you moving to such a beautiful place that would probably be exactly what you need🥹 the housing market is beyond crazy but the nature and small town feel (while not actually being a really 'small' town) is absolutely worth it. You will 100% not regret it, do look into it!
Sending you so much love always, Emma. As someone who struggles with chronic anxiety, currently living my life through coping mechanisms to deal with the urban area I live in, Ive been visiting my home country in Europe from the USA once a year for the last 3 years, and has become crystal clear to me the massive impact that my environment/surroundings have on my happiness and wellbeing. Wishing the absolute best in finding your peace-filled happy place away from any forces that might be dragging you down right now or just stifling your expression. I’m going through the similar emotions alongside you and coming to terms with what I might need to give up in the process of potentially moving away from where I am currently. Thanks for providing me a mirror through which I can experience some validation and para-social camaraderie 😂 as you undergo this journey yourself. 🙏🏼♥️
Hi Emma, I love your honesty in these videos, especially regarding mental health, which wasn't really discussed so much when I was growing up. I feel it's so important to have these conversations, particularly in times where a 'perfect' lifestyle is seen as the norm on social media. I'm in my mid-30s and I dunno maybe some people can get over anxiety but I've found that it's not the case for me. I've come to accept that anxiety is a part of my life, but I can try to learn how to cope with it and how to self-soothe by experimenting with what works for you and listening to your body and your mind and what they need in that moment. I personally found that I was focused a lot on what I felt I needed to do based on social expectations rather than what was right for me, which made me more anxious and led to burnout. I believe that anxiety is often linked with the inner child and that just asking that part of me what it needs and listening made it feel heard and safe. Visualising childhood me and comforting her has been a big help. Obviously everyone is different, with their own traumas and techniques that work for them. I sincerely hope you find your own healthy coping mechanisms. Also I can say that the older you get, the more you learn how your body and mind work if you take the time to listen to it and maybe work through some trauma. There is hope for improvement, it just maybe looks a little different from the ideal. It's not a life of no anxiety, it's shorter anxious episodes and longer gaps between them and recognising that little things to others may be big things for you and that's OK because everyone is different. Also always congratulate yourself on the little wins as well as the big ones. Girl, you conquered that pile of laundry even though you felt like shit- YOU'RE ON FIRE!! 🔥🔥🔥
i dont comment very often but i did want to come on here and say that i started watching your videos during a time when i was having panic attacks on the regular, and they’ve always provided me a sense of calm in the chaos. sometimes they were the only thing that could calm me down enough to eat or do my laundry or otherwise take care of myself. i’m doing better now, as i believe you will be soon 🩷 but i just wanted to say that you have given me (and countless others) a beautiful place to heal, and i hope you can find some of that with us as well. thank you so much for everything 🩷🩷 take care !!
Emma ❤️🥹 I want to give you a huge hug! I won't tell you what I take to deal with my panic attacks because it dampens ALL emotions and not just the anxiety and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone 😭 I just really need it in my specific situation in this time of my life. But I will tell you about what helps me sleep! (My meds but also) Melatonin!!! It's not even medication it's something your body actually makes on its own and so if you want to ask your doctor about it, it really helps in going to sleep (not in staying asleep I've heard from people who take it exclusively) and that's what you seem to need, something that helps you go to sleep, not necessarily stay asleep, I think it's worth asking your doctor about. It's really helped me work out my eternally crazy sleep schedule
Ok, in regards to missing socks - open up your front washer panel (if you have a top loading washer)! I found that so many of my small missing clothes would find there way over the lip of the drum and into the body of the washer!
I'm 36 and I've only struggled with (health) anxiety for three years, I had never had any experience of anxiety before. I think most people are well meaning and only want to help, but saying you'll grow out of it, or saying that you just need to relax and not worry so much really isn't helping. If we could, we would. I know my anxiety is irrational, I know that whatever new thing I discover on my body probably isn't cancer this time either, and that I at least shouldn't convince myself that it is before a doctor tells me I have something to worry about. But when the fear takes hold, my rational mind just leaves me completely. It's such a dark place to be, because it kills the joy I normally feel for small every day things. I get excited about things so easily, it's part of what I love about being me, but the anxiety takes that away from me. But now I'm a month away from getting help, and I'm hoping I can learn to deal with this in a way that doesn't take that away from me. I really hope you find a cosy place to live somewhere in or close to nature. And that being there can lessen your anxiety to some extent, and bring you joy. Watching you in nature, whether in winter or summer, is beautiful. You radiate happiness in those videos. If you ever want a short and sweet read about animals, I can recommend The Golden Mole by Katherine Rundell, another person who clearly loves nature and animals and who writes beautifully.
I totally understand the joy thief that anxiety is. I also have had bouts of health anxiety, and here is part of the issue. You likely have a high IQ. Your rational brain can see your irrational brain. Remember this. Anxiety is a liar. Always, even when it hands you things that feel solid and real, they are not and anxiety is lying to you. Like the boggles in harry potter, (if you get the reference) it will take your worst fear and make it seem solid. It's just smoke. The proof? You are alive, breathing, and nothing bad has happened. Therapy will help you anchor yourself in the present moment, it was the best decision I made.
Health anxiety is just atrocious 😔 been ruining my life for 4 years now. Now it’s brain cancer, now it’s throat cancer, now it’s a heart condition, now it’s blood clots, etc. Never ending
I feel ya with the anxiety. For me, movement helps. I know not everyone is the same. But there is something about weight lifting that will shift my mood, and I also recently got back into swimming. When I wake up at 5 am with anxiety, I say good morning to it, and take it on a run. It's hard to run and worry. Yes, heart rate and breathing going up can feel like anxiety spiking, but after a bit it goes away and I can get into a calm state. The other thing that really works for me? Prayer. The Gospel tells us not to worry, but to pray and peace will come. This often helps me.
As another exasperated city dweller, I found so much joy in the works of David James Duncan, especially his latest novel Sun House. It is a beautiful, meandering novel of a group of people slowing coming together as they build up small community settlements in rural Montana. Such a fun and rewarding read!
Your openness about anxiety is so comforting. I'm lucky enough that debilitating anxiety is not a constant experience for me, but when it does come around every now and then, it truly is the worst. All the things I would normally find comfort in would not be able to relieve the burden of the constant worry and dread. People who don't experience it can definitely underestimate how much of an impact it can have on you. I really hope you can find a place that is much better for your mental health than the city. You give so much comfort to so much of us, and I hope you can find a place that brings you that much comfort as well
Hope you feel something, anything, other than anxiety, stress, or all of that awful brew that can stir, twist and mix our whole being. Still enjoying your videos and thank you for the openness and honesty. Thoughts freely given are priceless like a warm smile or a hearty laugh.
Isn't it funny how when you are at your lowest, it gets so easy to do away the things that bring you peace? Well, it's good to be back after being in trenches for what seemed like an eternity. I hope you're doing okay, Emma. You've always been a safe space for me, so thank you ❤.
Emma, this is a wonderful video. At the end, you asked if there's anything we'd like you to vlog about. I'd like to know about your creative writing life and your thoughts about continuing your education. And I'd love to hear about your birthday, which I hope will be exceedingly happy.
Emma I love you so much and I'm sending you a huge long distance hug. Like you, and so many others, I deal with anxiety and went through a time where it felt unbearable. The feeling of needing to eject out of your body is so real. For me, it was the feeling of needing to shatter. I tried for years to manage it myself, but finally decided to try medication and it changed my life. I know that is not the solution for everyone, but I choose to speak about it to try to help break the stigma. There is no shame in needing help for your brain 🤎 I truly hope you start to feel better, you are such a wonderful soul!!
Have also been dealing with anxiety. We have moments where we can deal with it fine enough, but should always feel like our feelings are validated. I wish too that I didn't have it, but all we can do is find ways to cope with it. Stay strong ❤
The pumpkin jumper has me so ready for fall 🎃. I've been wanting to tackle Cain's Jawbone! I have a lot of anxiety. I do remember being a kid, and imagining seeing myself at an older age, how I'd have it all figured out. Then I get to that age and look back at my younger self from the other side like, sorry buddy 😶
Totally get the family advice part. In my family it is believed that one purposedly gets anxious! If I can just let go of things my life would be easier. But that's the hard part isn't it? thank you for being so open and honest with us! Sending lots of love❤❤
Hey, noticed that abstaining from caffeine for about three days helps me avoid anxiety attacks, also sugar. Not an expert though. I just wouldn't wish the dread that comes with a panic attack on my worst enemy.
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Emma, I feel weird asking but I've been genuinely wondering and even a bit concerned since you're in toronto where you hate it, but are you still with your partner who you moved with? Obviously you don't need to answer, it just feels like you're not bc you travel with family it seems and not a partner and you haven't mentioned your partner in a long while (that i can recall). If you're single now I really do hope that you can find a place wherever the heck makes you happy cuz Toronto ain't it and I don't blame you, esp with an anxiety disorder. I would love so much if you moved home or found a place close to your family (if you're not with your partner anymore) you're always so glowy and lit from within when you're home!! Your brother is hilarious and you two just seem so... weightless? when you're vlogging or doing the mystery novels and when you're in Toronto your energy just gets heavy so fast :( Obviously if you still have your partner I understand the conflict and wanting to be with them while needing to find a balance and how that is soooo hard when they are there for work and you're able to work from everywhere! You're just a few years older than my oldest kid and my second is in uni taking English so the maternal part of me is genuinely concerned and just want to see you looking and feeling happy, not faking it for the camera but truly BEING it! Sorry for prying. So many people care for you as a person and not as a content creator, afterall you're a person first!
Oh, my god. This was so wholesome and sweet. The effort you took, ma'am, to say all this tells me you're a kind person.
Sorry if I seem overdramatic but I just wanted to let you know. I know this comment is not addressed to me 😂
This is the comment I've been trying to write for months, but I couldn't find the right words. Sometimes the right words require the right writer. Beautifully said.
I have felt the same for some time regarding her partner, but didn't have the nerve to ask. I hope whatever the underlying cause to her anxiety can be resolved in time. Great post by the way.
@@ba-gg6jo I too felt it very weird. I know it's weird to keep track but I haven't heard boyfriend or partner in any of her vlogs or videos since the Italy trip
It's also weird to mention this but the apartment itself feels like it's housing only emma and the cats at current
I have been thinking this for months as well, thank you for saying it!
I’ve never heard anxiety described as making you feel younger than you are. As a 28 year old who suffers really bad with anxiety, still living at home, watching your friends and family grow, feeling stuck and scared to grow yourself. Thank you for these words, for making me feel a little less alone 🧡
I’ll be 40 in September and I’m still with my parents, and will be until death separates us. I have a lot of medical issues, including anxiety, diabetes, and am on the spectrum. My parents are my best friends and we get along amazingly well (most of the time, my dad especially can be quite annoying) and we really rely on one another. I wouldn’t want to live a different life, even with all the money in the world making any life possible.
Oh Emma 😭❤️ I resonate with so much of this. I also live in this city and deal with horrible anxiety that has been extra bad this year. People especially my parents have told me to stop being anxious and to try meditation and yoga instead of therapy and if I just tried hard enough that it would "go away" and I needed to stop being so childish and scared of everything.
I've never "grown out" of it either and it's because how can anyone help their anxiety calm down when everyone and everything around them is pressuring and belittling those feelings? It's frankly the opposite of what an anxious body and mind needs.
I'm sending you all my love, know you're never alone and there's people out there including me who share so many of your experiences (from concussions to hating Toronto to loving reading) and that you're always seen here ❤
Hoping you’re able to find peace soon and access the treatments you need.
Hey Emma. I appreciate your honesty and openness. As someone who is also in there 20’s, I hear you and can relate. Especially as we start navigating life as an adult, there are numerous anxiety provoking moments. However, it’s always nice knowing that you aren’t the only person who feels this way.
Whether you know it or not, you continue to inspire people everyday. Your videos are truly something I always look forward to. I hope you continue to have an amazing summer (even though the heat wave is lowkey unbearable at times😂)
I had such bad anxiety for so many years. Starting in my early twenties and each year it would get a bit worse until finally it peaked right before my 30th birthday. It felt like I was in this dark hole of despair and it was honestly so scary. I was (like so many people) really hesitant to start medication but all my family and doctors were adamant that I give it a go and wow oh wow did it change my life. It really highlighted to me that anxiety was just this chemical imbalance in my brain and even such a low dose of medication was enough for it to balance out. And now I almost feel invincible in the best way possible. I watch myself go through things that would’ve sent me into a spiral but instead I’m calm and rational and it’s just the best thing that ever happened to me. Anyways I just wanted to share my story in case it can help anyone because being stuck with a brain that’s causing so much psychological pain is truly horrible.
I just said the same thing. Medication changed everything.
Same here! Medication has helped me so much with anxiety ❤ Also even just taking melatonin could help with sleep issues that the day time anxiety would be at a lower level.
Same here. I’ve had anxiety since middle school and it continued to get wayyyy worse as I grew up. Medication has seriously saved my quality of life!
I’m at a breaking point with my anxiety and finally seeking medication after many years of being super resistant to it. I’m hoping to have a similar experience to yours. 🖤
@WishAtElevenEleven It wasn't overnight, but it did happen. There are different meds and doses. I hope you find what fits best and feel your life open up. 😊
Thank goodness for your bravery and vulnerability with sharing your experience with anxiety! This is exactly how I feel! Like how do people not worry about everything all day long? What do you mean people don’t pack every single emergency medication for every possible situation that could occur? Blows my mind … i love how you said “experience anxiety safely” because ultimately anxiety is a big liar and tries to rob you of joy. So experiencing it safely for me means to realize that the things I’m anxious about have not occurred yet so there isn’t a reason to worry at the moment … still something I work on every single day
Hey Emma, I’m only a bit older than you and after almost 10 years of struggling with anxiety and trying to “manage” it without going down the meds route, earlier this year became really difficult as I was having panic attacks almost daily, crying every day wondering when would it end, barely able to leave my house, countless hours of therapy… I finally decided to try meds. I resisted for so long, but I hit a breaking point as I wasn’t able to function normally and it was taking a toll on my quality of life. I’m not sure if you’re at that point, but I just wanted to say that, contrary to what I thought for so long, meds don’t mean you’ve given up or aren’t strong enough - some of us are just wired differently and we need a bit of help. Anxiety and panic disorders are most often a chemical imbalance, and we need a little nudge to find a balance again - and theres’s nothing wrong with that. Anyways, this experience is still super new to me and I 100% relate to what you’re going through so I thought I’d share. Hang in there girl. You fucking got this.
this vlog reminded me of a poem i wrote a while back:
Anxiety, the devil that you are
Whispering ferociously in my ears all the time
Sending my poor soul into a constant fight-or-flight
A black cloud, slowly eating at me from the inside
Dread and impending doom: sweat trickles down my face
I feel you creeping up on me, the goosebumps start to raise
They tell me I’ll grow out of it, that it’s just a childish fear
But I’m still that kid, on the bathroom floor, eyes full of tears
Fifth grade, my back against the door
“Why does no one else feel this?” On my diary, I wrote
The only thing that has changed now
Is that the waves come at me with soul-crushing pounds
Will I ever be free from your shackles?
Will I stop hearing your familiar evil cackles?
I envy those who have never known you
I’d give everything for a moment of peace: a life without blue
“The horrors persist and so do I” oh my gosh Emma you’re my role model 😹😹😹
I have to stop watching midway and comment because 22:25 “ah, I wore my lemon shirt today!” is literally the purest moment I have ever seen in a vlog. ❤ Oh my god. Okay, back to watching.
thank you so much emmie for sharing your life the way that u do, it's so comforting knowing I somehow feel so connected with someone so far away from me. I'm very anxious as well cause things in my life are about to change, so your video came in handy
NEW EMMIE VIDEO EVERYBODY FOCUS 🚨🔥
As a fellow Torontonian who is now looking to leave the city, I feel the housing struggle so hard
You brighten my day. My dog had a mole removed and they think its cancer. You are a comfort for me and I hope, we, that follow you brighten your day too.❤
I'm so sorry 😞
i just saw "moving" in the title, and now i need a bookshelf organization in a huge, beautiful libary!! also, it's so wonderful you open up about your struggles knowing that others will feel seen. ❤❤❤
Emma, I know exactly where you are coming from when it comes to anxiety. I think it is safe to say that a lot of people are also on the anxiety bus. I am in my early 30's and my anxiety and depression have never left me. I have learned how to grow along with the challenges of life and figuring out my own shit and my anxiety and depression have also been a long for the ride. You are absolutely right when you said that it never leaves you and feeling like we are not a functioning adult can really kick us down. I know people older than me that still struggle with it. We are here for you and you are doing a fantastic job. Yes, even when you feel like you aren't doing enough, you're still doing great. We are our own worst critic and we need to remember to be kinder to ourselves. I still have days when I struggle with my mental health and try to remember to be kind to myself. You got this Emma! I know something is gonna bloom and give you an opportunity to get out of the city life. Like what the Count said "Wait and hope".❤ Things will fall into place. Sending you, Grendel and Calcifer lots of love!
EMMA!!! I am 9 weeks pregnant now (yay) but it also meant that I am in the depth misery of nausea, vomitting, fatigue and insomnia. Listening to you talking about it is so validating- but if it helps you, try rubbing/massaging magnesium oil/spray on your feet and your neck. It has helped me a TON! Also loving your new hair! Sending love to youuuu
Hi Emma. A longtime viewer, and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your candor in regards to your anxiety. As a person with lifelong anxiety, I want to reassure you that even if anxiety can't be fully eliminated, there are skills that can make it more manageable. We all support you, and I believe in you that you will be able to overcome the overwhelming-ness of your anxiety. Your anxiety does not define you, and I know that you have a bright future ahead of you and that through hard work, things will get better. We're all here for you.
Ah it broke my heart when you talked about past advice you’ve received that has led you to believe that you’re ‘stuck’ or prevented you from feeling like an adult. But I do understand where you’re coming from. What I really related to is when you said that you can’t believe there are people out there living without anxiety. I think about that often! For me, the mindset that has helped me deal with my general anxiety is that although I may never live without it, I will learn to live alongside it. I hope this offers you some tiny piece of hope. We’re here for you, Emma. Thank you for sharing these very human slices of life with us 💕
hey emma, hope you take a moment to read this. I think its really brave you talking about this really complicated situations. I can relate a lot with that feeling, and although people have completely different journeys with mental health, I want to tell you that even though it’s really hard to find a way to understand why a lot of things are in your life, at the end of the day maybe we can’t slip away with this, but we can handle it in the best way possible.
I know my opinion may not impact as much as I would like, however, I feel the need to say that you are doing so well, and you began to feel that way at the moment you wanted to feel better, its not when you get to the point to control all of it, it’s when you start to be aware of wanting a better relation with your mental health.
I personally have been struggling with depression and anxiety, I was diagnosed with dysthymia, a long-term way of depression. at this journey I have learned so many things, but at the same time I had been struggling to continue many times. last April I had a really traumatic event that I couldn’t handle. It was then that at beginning of may I planned *that thing* and tried mid of that month with no success and two weeks later again. the last time it was my sister’s birthday.
when you said you were going to stay with your family somehow I felt relief. family is the best medicine sometimes. that’s how I have survived since June. and to be honest, now i feel so much better. yes, sometimes i have my struggles, but with the support of family, a DBT therapy, and the special medical treatment that my psychiatrist has given to me, it starts showing progress. yes, it has been long, i mean since early 2020, but patience at this point it’s what makes the difference. be patient, and keep brave.
hope you have a great time with your family, you deserve it. it’ll pass 🤍
When i tell you i needed a new emmie vid, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE COMFORT PERSON ❤❤❤
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This video found me in the best time possible. I’m struggling with anxiety and what feels like depression and these days have been a huge struggle for me. I find it impossible to live in my body and my mind sometimes and I was starting to feel quite lonely for the past couple of days. Not that I’m happy that you and other people struggle with mental health but it’s such a huge relief to hear that I’m not alone. It makes me feel comforted and it gives me hope, so thank you for sharing you thoughts and feelings (I for sure know it’s not an easy topic to talk about) because you DO help us. Thanks again Emma, you are one of my favorite online people ❤️🙏🏼
Hope you are well, Emma! You are quite the day brightener to many of us! 🙂
Thank you Adam:) hope your summer is going wonderfully😊
I’m struggling to put my thoughts into words right now but I just wanted to leave a comment to say how much I relate to your experiences with anxiety and that I appreciate it so much that you share that part of your life. It really does make me feel less alone in what I feel.
There was a time I watched your videos without missing one, then life got hectic. Now I got my own book account and I remembered you, that you were literally my favorite booktuber and I wanted to know how you are, I'm so glad I came back to find your youtube. Now I actually read a lot so it's a new perspective! You're so nice to hear!!
Emmie, IDK if you will see this but this has worked to help reduce my anxiety significantly: yoga nidra, daily yoga, anxiety journaling. Also regularly talking with my behavioral health specialist. Another thing I tried was EFT Tapping, it really works for some people but I am not too experienced wih it yet. Good luck, and know that you are not alone!
Life is like a roller coaster we experience the peaks and falls, the falls are the most tough but they do make the peaks well worth it ♥️ being open and honest with your mental health struggles is very healing, at least in my experience it has been. Rest assured, at 31 years old with a big kid job, a big kid house, and taking care of big personality furry children I have yet to have “grown out of” my anxiety. It’s a part of who I am. Life is hard, and some of us just feel the hardness a bit more than others sometimes ♥️
Your explanation of how anxiety feels to you is so relatable. I always felt like I was insane when I would explain to people that I wake up with feeling like something horrible is going to happen or I’m going to die. Thanks for sharing your experience ❤
literally just got done binging ur videos from the past 2 months and i’m blessed with this 🙏🙏
:’)
I am currently doing pretty badly too. I have severe anxiety disorder, among other diagnoses. I’m constantly tired and so busy with myself and my own mind that sometimes, when I look up, I sort of realise like “damn, there’s other people and things present too”. I also live in a city with so much noise and people and I relate to you so much about hating where you live. My bf and I are moving to a quiet(er) place at the end of this year and I hope that will be possible for you too! Also, I recently posted a comment about adopting a cat and he has been helping me so much; just petting and talking to him is so calming and I’m sure Cal and Gren help you with that too ❤
Hi Emmie :) I just wanted to say I adore your channel so much and I see a lot of myself in you and your content. I feel very seen while watching your videos and I just wish you the best :) thank you sm for this place on the internet. I hope the future treats you well
Sending you so much love and strength ❤️ I resonate so much with what you’re saying, so I’m wishing it gets better for you very very soon. Be kind to yourself!
I understand the anxiety and I am honored that you're willing to talk it out with us. I keep feeling like I'm behind in life at 23 when i look at my peers. I have been having a horrible anxiety day that got topped off by my fiance having to put down his family dog. I know these days will pass but they suck so bad being in them. Your video made me feel heard/seen and cheered me up. I thank you for that ❤
I very rarely comment on any videos, but I felt that I have to since you describing the anxiety, how it makes you feel younger than you are, how ppl say that you'll grow out of it, it all just hit home so much for me and I just sat there and cried my eyes out but mostly not because it made me feel bad but it just made me feel like im not the only person out there having these problems, experiences and thoughts and I also want to let you know that you're one of the very few content creators that make feel like home and I watch your videos whenever I need to feel more calm or just to take my mind of of whatever makes me anxious, and every time it works, so I just wanted to thank you so much for your hard work and all the thought that you put into your vlogs
I grew up with anxiety, I remember having it since 10 years old. When I was 17, I started having panic attacks. The panic attacks now start when I'm in really bad mental state, so I managed to control them. But the anxiety is still here, sometimes I feel like i can't to anything because of it. And I really felt what you said about anxiety makes you feel younger. Everyone around me are like "you're gonna grow out of it". But Im also in my 20s and I never did. My mental health is really bad these past 2 years, because of other stuff as well, but having anxiety also adds to it. In 2022 I watched this swedish tv show "Young Royals" and I saw myself in the main character, because of the anxiety and panic attacks (and also the character itself). They really showed it in such a real way. I never saw this on screen, I never felt more seen in my life. The tv show became my safe space for the last two years. And watching your channel. Watching your videos always calms me down, thank you❤ But I stopped reading books, because of life I guess, but also because of my mental health. I really stopped doing everything I love. Watching your videos was the only way of me being close to literature again. Recently I bought new books and I'm planning to start reading again, because that was my favorite thing ever, I don't feel myself without books. I also plan to study literature soon. I was so confused, so sad, struggled with my bad mental health these last years that I feel like I stopped living. I think this is the first time I'm leaving a comment under your video, but I've watched every single one of them for 3 years now. Thank you again for the safe space your vidoes had become. My comment is a bit messy, but well whatever.
Watching this while breathing through my period cramps. Thank you for the 100s of videos you have made over the years Emma. Sometimes it makes me a bit sad that we aren’t just real friends who met in school or something like that. You share so much with us i wish i could share back.
Emma, I myself have a severe anxiety disorder AND panic disorder. Saying that it makes my life hell is putting it very lightly ... my thoughts are with you, I really understand how you feel! For me, it has come to the point where I'm just extremely anxious all day every day, and it can be so scary. The breathing ... oh my god. I really felt it to my core when you said you were breathless because you woke up anxious. It sucks so much. Just remember that you're not alone! And being anxious for no particular reason, all day, it can make you feel like something is seriously wrong with you. I am so happy to see this video, it makes me feel less alone in it, and it reminds me that there are other people who get anxious for no reason and also can ve anxious pretty much all day. Hope you're better now 💚
I've had a hunch for a while that you had broken up with your partner but just didn't want to mention it because it would have hurt and it's none of anyone's business. But since then I've always thought why doesn't she go home now why doesn't she go live out of the city, why not live with her family and be happy (which I KNOW is not that simple!!!) but I've always been like she has definitely thought of that and she doesn't need an unsolicited opinion. But now I'm here with the mom saying go get em girl! ❤️
Wow Emma thank you so much for opening up about your health and struggles, it's very hard to do. I've had insomnia for about a year now and I just have to tell you that 1. Try not to panic - we need the sleep our bodies give us, so it's actually really ok to just get 2-3 hours a night, esp short term. 2. The only thing that helped me was a good acupuncturist, which I recommend to help with the anxiety, which for me was also linked to sleep.
If you have a top loading washer, you could pop the front panel off and see if the missing socks are back there :) I use to have to do it routinely.
Also- for power outages if your put bags of ice in the fridge it helps keep the food cold.
I’m glad you passed on the moldering house owned by a hoarder. That house could very well have made you very ill. I develop more anxiety as I age but I did not have it as a child or a young adult. I wish you all the best in finding a healthy home and in finding help and tools to work through bouts of anxiety. Take great care.
Thank you for sharing your anxieties & mental health struggles it's always very hood to see youtubers who don't hide behind fake wholesomeness or are overly sacurant ❤❤❤
Emma, as a person who also struggles with anxiety in my late twenties, I relate so much to what you said here. So many tell us that it's something that goes away, and frankly, it isn't. The conditions that cause this anxiety may alleviate but we are stuck with the brains that respond to those conditions with anxiety for the rest of our lives. I'm really impressed and inspired by your approach to this and I want to thank you for being so candid as always and providing a light on this godforsaken website.
Ik I'm a little late, but I used to have horrible anxiety to the point of being diagnosed w panic disorder. You are on the right path, you are in the right headspace for growth. My anxiety was something I could no longer ignore and pretend wasn't a burden to make others (and myself) feel more "normal". My biggest lesson was learning that it's OK to struggle with something you have realized you won't grow out of. Make space for it instead. You are right, grow into your anxiety and allow yourself to feel every second of it in a safe way, you are not alone and your vulnerability is a strength 💕
I've been diagnosed with generalised anxiety a few years ago, and I just want to say that I feel sorry for everyone who has to go through it! I send a hug to you all! Never give up the hope that it can get better.♡
Dear Enma,
Thank you so much for this video. I loved the Autumn and Blacktip Shark sweaters, such perfectly cozy reading attire!
Thank you also for courageously sharing your anxiety struggles with us; it's so difficult when we're given incorrect advice, I think it compunds our efforts to manage the issue. I hope that you find true peace and joy, because you are a ver rare gem in this crazy world. Take care. ❤❤❤
As someone with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I just wanna say, I'm always happy to hear about other people's experiences with anxiety because although our struggles might not be the same, they feel parallel. Sending you love Emma
i really really appreciate how openly you talk about anxiety. i've also had anxiety attacks since i can remember, since i was a kid, and it means a lot knowing that someone has had similar struggles.
i hope someday we can all find peace, love from spain.
Totally get you on poor sleep and anxiety. When my anxiety was really bad I would often not fall asleep until 2 or 3 or 4 am. The anxiety got bad enough for me (mainly agoraphobia) that I ended up going on medication for 8 months, which made a massive positive difference to my mental health. It's more of a subtle background feature of my life now. Best wishes to you!
The way you described anxiety is perfect
Thank you Emmie for helping inspire me to get back into reading! You are amazing and I love to watch your cozy videos!
Your life is such a comfort and there is such a soft touch to your vlogs, you may not experience any peace bc anxiety does that to the body but know that peace flogs through your content and it has such purpose 😊 I love you so much and you’re seen, your anxiety is real and known.
Thanks for sharing this Emma. I cannot imagine what you’re going through and as a fellow person in their 20s, I also think being told you’ll “grow out of things” is despicable. We have to work on these things and having gone to therapy, having tools to deal with mental illness is incredibly valuable. However, we have to remember that although we feel mature in our twenties. We really have so much growing up to do still. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you should be proud how far you’ve come!
I discovered your channel when I was about 13 years old. Now I’m 17. And this video kinda shows a new side of you which I relate so much with. I also suffer from anxiety and seeing people who have that too just makes me feel better. Usually I see UA-camrs who only show their good times but you show all your sides. I really enjoy watching your vids❤
I have also struggled with anxiety since i was a kid. it is so incredibly isolating to feel this way and to hear people say “it’s just in your head!” never helps. i’m in college and am 20 (but i’ll be 21 this friday) and i am still struggling. it’s honestly gotten even worse than how it was before. Anyway I just wanted to thank you for sharing this, we are not alone. We have each other and our loved ones to help guide us
i teared up when you started to talk about your anxiety in childhood because i can relate so much. i’m only seventeen but this is something that’s been absolutely eating at me from the inside for years and years, i’ve never been open about it with anyone because i have issues with trust and vulnerability, but every time i hear about it being talked about, it’s always “oh don’t worry it’ll be over soon” or “you’ll grow out of it!” but i’m starting to lose that idea and hope that i was holding onto so tightly for so long. thank you for being so open about it, i know it’s really hard but thank you for making me feel more seen.♥️♥️
hello! just wanted to say that I’m also someone who struggles with insomnia and I very often wake up at 2, 3 or 4 am, especially during the summer months. when I was younger I used to get up and go do something or watch some television but I’ve found that something that really helps me not get too tired during the day from lack of sleep is to stay in bed until the hour that I normally wake up, either staring at my ceiling or reading a book on my kindle with dark mode on. I try to do as little as possible and think as little as possible (I usually pick a lighter read on these occasions) as to let my body and my brain rest even though I can’t sleep, and I always keep the lights turned off. during the day I still feel more tired than usual but a lot less tired than if I immediately get up. I know that this isn’t a super innovative method and you might have heard it from someone else but still I wanted to share it in case it helps
Your openness about anxiety is important and it's helpful for me in my profession to hear more about it. I work with teens at a mainstream school and many of them have mental issues like anxiety, which I don't so I cannot relate, but research and talking to others about it helps me to better understand and assist my students. You are a rockstar! Keep doing your thang!
The first booktuber i started watching because of the great book recs you would read/get from around the world and now when I see others doing it now, I always think of you!
i’ll be 20 in a few months, and these little vlogs have been kind of a blanket of sorts of preparing me for that part of my life, they make me feel so much less worried and alone that these things are normal human experiences and that just because i'm an adult it shouldn't mean that life will inexplicably fix itself, just trying to take things slow, face the challenges, and grow at my own pace, just learning to enjoy my existence
thank you for sharing your struggles with anxiety. I also have anxiety and what's really challenging for me is having this belief that i'm suffering at my own hands... or that "if i just did therapy, exercise, take care of myself, spend less time on my phone, move to different place, socialize more, find a more fulfilling job, eat right, etc, it will go away" and if i'm not doing those things it will get worse. And if i'm having a long spell of anxiety it must be because one of those things is lacking or I'm not doing enough. I think it comes from a place of not accepting that we're wired differently, it's not our fault, and sometimes trying and trying and trying to do everything right so there's no longer a breeding ground for anxiety is actually making it worse. Ugh I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope it helps in some small way shape or form to know you're not alone.
You mentioned in an earlier video that you get nervous and don't like people touching your head, so the fact that you went to the hairdresser is amazing!❤
You are honestly my most comfort youtuber ever. watching your vlogs is so calming and as a person with anxiety i feel completely understood by you. Almost watched all of your videos ever. Have been watching your vids since the first "little book libraries" video.
I had never experience anxiety until this year. I had a rough 2023 and this year is not better and finally everything manifested. I’ve been trying to understand my anxiety and what triggers it, although I don’t have full blown panic attacks. And (this might be weird), because of that I discredit my anxiety, because I don’t have panic attacks, so I think it’s not “serious” or not that bad. But I’ve had to learn that even if I don’t have panic attacks, feeling anxious, high heart rate and other symptoms, it’s still serious and I have to address it.
Thank you so much for this vlog, it truly made me feel like I’m not alone 🩷
Let’s hope for better days 💜
MinaLima is the official HP design team who did everything on the movies :)
Hi Emma, I don't know if you'll ever read this comment, but I just wanted to wish you a good birthday week, despite everything you shared here, despite "life on earth" being difficult.
For your birthday, I wish you fall in love with yourself and with life around you. We know love is not always easy nor stable, but true love is forever despite being made of ups and downs- moments of ins and out, and that’s what I wish for you.
There are many things I'd like to talk about (growing-up and the expectations around it, uncontrollable factors we have to live with, what life is, etc) but I'm just a 29 year old Italian young woman that never comments so I don't have the gift of conciseness (plus a lot of people already commented on all those topics).
I hope speaking up about your struggles helps you first, and if so, I hope you use this space to do what you like/what you need/what you want.
Ciao from the other side of the Atlantic 😊
Emma i am currently crying bc deep cleaning the kitchen is a tasks i ve been meaning to do since my flatmates left for summer, and I finally decided today is the day but im dreading it so much! Im honestly so grateful for having this long video to keep me company and comfort while i do it. Wishing you all the best, you re an amazing person that deserves the world!!
Oh, Emma, I just think you are wonderful and my heart breaks for you and all that you have experienced daily for years now. You bring so much joy to your viewers and I wish there was something we could do to help you feel better. The only things that help me with crippling anxiety is to give myself all the things that bring relief. I am not working atm so I just read a lot, cook, and hang with my dog. Watch movies, too, and walk in nature. If I stay away from these things for too long, things get bleak quickly so it’s a full-time job for me to take care of myself in these ways. I used to think this was selfish but age has helped me to see that it’s just very smart.
Also, perspective. When I was suffering with Endometriosis for years, I constantly reminded myself that things could be so much worse even tho I’d lost so many things that I loved while fighting that disease(relationships and my career). People say, when things get rough, why me? I’ve always said, why not me? Believe it or not, it helps. Just know that you are precious beyond measure and you are worth every good thing on earth. Never give up and visit with us as much as you need. We all think the world of you and will always be here for you. ❤
Beautifully said! ❤
@@trishnickles2236 ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Anxiety is tricky business. What annoys me is that when I get over a bout of anxiety or a full-blown attack (which is not that common for me anymore thankfully) my immediate thought is that next time I won't let that overwhelm me because I know from years of experience now that I'm panicking over nothing, but then when next time comes around, I still panic. It makes me feel a little hopeless. Like this is just going to hit me out of nowhere many times in my life and I can't do anything to fight it.
But what is working for me a little bit now is when I'm anxious, just trying to make a tiny bit of progress with it each time. If I break down my anxiety into different symptoms and feelings, I can start trying to control just one of them, and maybe regularly regain 5% control whenever I have an attack. Then, I can work on a different sensation and start conquering that, building my control up to 10%.
This won't work for everyone, and just based on how you've described your anxiety, I think we experience it differently. But the point is that you can develop a strategy to overcome it. And if you give it your all and it doesn't work, try a new strategy. Just like you said, we're not going to grow out of it. Nothing changes if we change nothing.
I hope you feel better soon!
One thing you said stuck with me the most. I am 38 years old and my anxiety makes me feel like a child who constantly needs holding hand. I don't feel like I can confront life and the world around me because I am constantly scared of everything...and I need to be an example to my son. How...? How do people do this?
hi emma!! i just wanted to remind you that you are doing your very best 🫂 as someone who's been suffering from severe anxiety for pretty much my entire life, i promise you that you are so much more than your anxiety. sending you so much love and support, i hope seeing your family will help make you feel more at ease 🤍🫂
Dear Emma, you are so inspiring ❤
Thanks for sharing everything you shared here, your books, your laundry pile, your window scenes, your mental health.
I am a 30+ mom of 2 little ones living in another country that is not my own and honestly I have and still continue to learn so much from you. I just want to say you are stronger than you think, you are wonderful and you are not your anxiety.
Sending you a big virtual hug. You project goodness and goodness will come your way.
Thank you and love you!
Xx
M
When my anxiety is at its worst, my need for sleep and my ability to sleep are both greatly reduced. I get 4-5hrs per night, when normally I need about 9 hrs per night. I’m 34, and was diagnosed in my 20s but I’ve had it my whole life. It’s the worst, and I’m finally at a breaking point where I’m seeking medication to help because I haven’t been able to manage it on my own. I truly hope all who are struggling with anxiety and other mental health conditions find a way out of it. 🖤
Thank you for talking about your anxiety and for saying all those touching things. You make me feel so seen. Know that you’re not alone and that we appreciate you so much 🧡
i struggled with crippling anxiety attacks for 2 years, from age 17 to 19. It was the absolute worst period of my life. I couldn't leave the house or go to school without needing to run away, find a bathroom, and violently throw up. I tried every natural solution -- cold showers, breathing exercises, peppermint and ginger candy, talk therapy. Nothing made a difference until I started medication. I was first prescribed an SSRI that really didn't work for me, so I was getting extremely discouraged. But I still decided to push through, and try the next medication my psych recommended, an SSRI called Lexapro. This made all the difference for me. In a matter of weeks I was myself again; I could go outside, look people in the eye, and complete my basic adult responsibilities. I can happily say that at age 20, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've had bad anxiety in the past year, whereas before it was a daily struggle. I never would've expected medication alone to be able to do this but it is really powerful.
So in summary -- please, find a good psychiatrist, tell them everything, and take what they give you. Chances are they will start you on an SSRI; these are the safest, most recent medications for anxiety/depression and they can work magic, even though it might take a while to find the right one. I am rooting for you 💜
Emma this is probably the best video I've seen from you. It feels so close and honest that it immediately made me feel better. Tnx❤
The way you talked about anxiety was so poetic and I could feel your emotions through it, I'm so sorry you're going through it, but just want to say the way you edited it was really beautiful
The house hunting segment made me feel so sad I'm so happy i still live with my mum just need to go and give her a quick squeeze ❤ I hope you find a place that makes you feel at home and brings you happiness and ease to your soul. Also thank you for the anxiety talks i think this is the most reassuring representation I've seen it helps to know I'm not alone in feeling this way ❤❤
When you spoke about wanting to move to Kelowna once, my heart dropped at the possibility of you moving to such a beautiful place that would probably be exactly what you need🥹 the housing market is beyond crazy but the nature and small town feel (while not actually being a really 'small' town) is absolutely worth it. You will 100% not regret it, do look into it!
Sending you so much love always, Emma. As someone who struggles with chronic anxiety, currently living my life through coping mechanisms to deal with the urban area I live in, Ive been visiting my home country in Europe from the USA once a year for the last 3 years, and has become crystal clear to me the massive impact that my environment/surroundings have on my happiness and wellbeing. Wishing the absolute best in finding your peace-filled happy place away from any forces that might be dragging you down right now or just stifling your expression. I’m going through the similar emotions alongside you and coming to terms with what I might need to give up in the process of potentially moving away from where I am currently. Thanks for providing me a mirror through which I can experience some validation and para-social camaraderie 😂 as you undergo this journey yourself. 🙏🏼♥️
Hi Emma, I love your honesty in these videos, especially regarding mental health, which wasn't really discussed so much when I was growing up. I feel it's so important to have these conversations, particularly in times where a 'perfect' lifestyle is seen as the norm on social media. I'm in my mid-30s and I dunno maybe some people can get over anxiety but I've found that it's not the case for me. I've come to accept that anxiety is a part of my life, but I can try to learn how to cope with it and how to self-soothe by experimenting with what works for you and listening to your body and your mind and what they need in that moment. I personally found that I was focused a lot on what I felt I needed to do based on social expectations rather than what was right for me, which made me more anxious and led to burnout. I believe that anxiety is often linked with the inner child and that just asking that part of me what it needs and listening made it feel heard and safe. Visualising childhood me and comforting her has been a big help. Obviously everyone is different, with their own traumas and techniques that work for them. I sincerely hope you find your own healthy coping mechanisms. Also I can say that the older you get, the more you learn how your body and mind work if you take the time to listen to it and maybe work through some trauma. There is hope for improvement, it just maybe looks a little different from the ideal. It's not a life of no anxiety, it's shorter anxious episodes and longer gaps between them and recognising that little things to others may be big things for you and that's OK because everyone is different. Also always congratulate yourself on the little wins as well as the big ones. Girl, you conquered that pile of laundry even though you felt like shit- YOU'RE ON FIRE!! 🔥🔥🔥
i dont comment very often but i did want to come on here and say that i started watching your videos during a time when i was having panic attacks on the regular, and they’ve always provided me a sense of calm in the chaos. sometimes they were the only thing that could calm me down enough to eat or do my laundry or otherwise take care of myself. i’m doing better now, as i believe you will be soon 🩷 but i just wanted to say that you have given me (and countless others) a beautiful place to heal, and i hope you can find some of that with us as well. thank you so much for everything 🩷🩷 take care !!
Emma ❤️🥹 I want to give you a huge hug! I won't tell you what I take to deal with my panic attacks because it dampens ALL emotions and not just the anxiety and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone 😭 I just really need it in my specific situation in this time of my life. But I will tell you about what helps me sleep! (My meds but also) Melatonin!!! It's not even medication it's something your body actually makes on its own and so if you want to ask your doctor about it, it really helps in going to sleep (not in staying asleep I've heard from people who take it exclusively) and that's what you seem to need, something that helps you go to sleep, not necessarily stay asleep, I think it's worth asking your doctor about. It's really helped me work out my eternally crazy sleep schedule
Ok, in regards to missing socks - open up your front washer panel (if you have a top loading washer)! I found that so many of my small missing clothes would find there way over the lip of the drum and into the body of the washer!
I'm 36 and I've only struggled with (health) anxiety for three years, I had never had any experience of anxiety before. I think most people are well meaning and only want to help, but saying you'll grow out of it, or saying that you just need to relax and not worry so much really isn't helping. If we could, we would. I know my anxiety is irrational, I know that whatever new thing I discover on my body probably isn't cancer this time either, and that I at least shouldn't convince myself that it is before a doctor tells me I have something to worry about. But when the fear takes hold, my rational mind just leaves me completely. It's such a dark place to be, because it kills the joy I normally feel for small every day things. I get excited about things so easily, it's part of what I love about being me, but the anxiety takes that away from me. But now I'm a month away from getting help, and I'm hoping I can learn to deal with this in a way that doesn't take that away from me.
I really hope you find a cosy place to live somewhere in or close to nature. And that being there can lessen your anxiety to some extent, and bring you joy. Watching you in nature, whether in winter or summer, is beautiful. You radiate happiness in those videos. If you ever want a short and sweet read about animals, I can recommend The Golden Mole by Katherine Rundell, another person who clearly loves nature and animals and who writes beautifully.
I totally understand the joy thief that anxiety is. I also have had bouts of health anxiety, and here is part of the issue. You likely have a high IQ. Your rational brain can see your irrational brain. Remember this. Anxiety is a liar. Always, even when it hands you things that feel solid and real, they are not and anxiety is lying to you. Like the boggles in harry potter, (if you get the reference) it will take your worst fear and make it seem solid. It's just smoke. The proof? You are alive, breathing, and nothing bad has happened. Therapy will help you anchor yourself in the present moment, it was the best decision I made.
Health anxiety is just atrocious 😔 been ruining my life for 4 years now. Now it’s brain cancer, now it’s throat cancer, now it’s a heart condition, now it’s blood clots, etc. Never ending
I feel ya with the anxiety. For me, movement helps. I know not everyone is the same. But there is something about weight lifting that will shift my mood, and I also recently got back into swimming. When I wake up at 5 am with anxiety, I say good morning to it, and take it on a run. It's hard to run and worry. Yes, heart rate and breathing going up can feel like anxiety spiking, but after a bit it goes away and I can get into a calm state. The other thing that really works for me? Prayer. The Gospel tells us not to worry, but to pray and peace will come. This often helps me.
As another exasperated city dweller, I found so much joy in the works of David James Duncan, especially his latest novel Sun House. It is a beautiful, meandering novel of a group of people slowing coming together as they build up small community settlements in rural Montana. Such a fun and rewarding read!
OBSESSED with the haircut 💇♀
Your openness about anxiety is so comforting. I'm lucky enough that debilitating anxiety is not a constant experience for me, but when it does come around every now and then, it truly is the worst. All the things I would normally find comfort in would not be able to relieve the burden of the constant worry and dread. People who don't experience it can definitely underestimate how much of an impact it can have on you.
I really hope you can find a place that is much better for your mental health than the city. You give so much comfort to so much of us, and I hope you can find a place that brings you that much comfort as well
Hope you feel something, anything, other than anxiety, stress, or all of that awful brew that can stir, twist and mix our whole being. Still enjoying your videos and thank you for the openness and honesty. Thoughts freely given are priceless like a warm smile or a hearty laugh.
Isn't it funny how when you are at your lowest, it gets so easy to do away the things that bring you peace? Well, it's good to be back after being in trenches for what seemed like an eternity. I hope you're doing okay, Emma. You've always been a safe space for me, so thank you ❤.
So excited for such a long video, sending you so many good vibes Emma!
Thank you!!! Sending them all back💕
Emma, this is a wonderful video. At the end, you asked if there's anything we'd like you to vlog about. I'd like to know about your creative writing life and your thoughts about continuing your education. And I'd love to hear about your birthday, which I hope will be exceedingly happy.
Emma I love you so much and I'm sending you a huge long distance hug. Like you, and so many others, I deal with anxiety and went through a time where it felt unbearable. The feeling of needing to eject out of your body is so real. For me, it was the feeling of needing to shatter. I tried for years to manage it myself, but finally decided to try medication and it changed my life. I know that is not the solution for everyone, but I choose to speak about it to try to help break the stigma. There is no shame in needing help for your brain 🤎 I truly hope you start to feel better, you are such a wonderful soul!!
Have also been dealing with anxiety. We have moments where we can deal with it fine enough, but should always feel like our feelings are validated. I wish too that I didn't have it, but all we can do is find ways to cope with it. Stay strong ❤
As somone with anxiety who feels so left behind in life because of it, thank you for being such a comforting presence in my life🩷
The pumpkin jumper has me so ready for fall 🎃. I've been wanting to tackle Cain's Jawbone!
I have a lot of anxiety. I do remember being a kid, and imagining seeing myself at an older age, how I'd have it all figured out. Then I get to that age and look back at my younger self from the other side like, sorry buddy 😶
Totally get the family advice part. In my family it is believed that one purposedly gets anxious! If I can just let go of things my life would be easier. But that's the hard part isn't it? thank you for being so open and honest with us! Sending lots of love❤❤
Hey, noticed that abstaining from caffeine for about three days helps me avoid anxiety attacks, also sugar. Not an expert though. I just wouldn't wish the dread that comes with a panic attack on my worst enemy.