Yeah, it happens to my most beautiful friends who were always so validated by their hotness. Even in the teenage years they would submerge their face in ice water to shrink pores. It’s a weird kind of perfectionistic striving that never can meet a satisfactory outcome.
Every time I feel weird about aging bc of beauty standards and a society that makes women feel old and “past their prime” by the time they’re 35 I remember that there’s so many people who had their lives taken and are hauntingly forever young and will never get the chance to age and that again and growing old is a blessing. ❤
With adequate sunblock and a good skincare routine, there's every chance that the average woman can stay looking relatively youthful into their 40's. Anything past that will rely on genetics, but that sunblock and skincare routine will still go a long way to making you look younger than you are.
I like to think of my mom and my grandmas. If i hate wrinkles and age spots and such, by extension I'd have to hate them on them too. But I don't and I don't want to. Every wrinkle and every age spot is a trace of the life they've lived, the hardships they've overcome, the happiness they've experienced and they are not beautiful despite but because of them. And it shouldn't be any different for myself.
I am 64 and workout 2 times a day at my fitness center. I take A LOT of supplements and have for 25 years. I have 2 daughters and my oldest granddaughter is a freshman in college and so is her mother my daughter they are going to college together ❤ Life is fabulous! I feel great, look fit and healthy and having a great year. Last couple of years have been challenging since I turned 60 but I’ve made a comeback ❤ it takes persistence and tenacity to keep focused on mental, emotional and physical wellness but so worth the effort! My goal 🥅 s the see me great grandchildren and at this point looks like it’s going to be a goal I can reach 🥇
This is so true!!! I recently saw a movie on Netflix called”family affair” and the two of the three actresses in it were Nicole Kidman and Kathy Bates. Nicole ( 57) looked so weird clearly from all the work she had done, but Kathy (76) with no work, silver hair and wrinkles, ironically, looked so youthful compared to Nicole! It was crazy! Every-time Kathy was on screen, she looked absolutely stunning!
Zac Efron too. He looked really strange in that one. But I guess it just speaks to the pressure that society puts on people to live up to impossible beauty standards, to the point that they're willing to alter their own bodies.
It explains most gorgeous women I know, and I know a lot of 10s... Even if they can't afford it, they all wish they could. It's sad because they don't see how beautiful they really are.
Efron, Kardashians, etc … it’s sad how insecurity & wanting to fix every “imperfection” can drive people into doing procedures that quickly go over the top. Not too mention money hungry surgeons who won’t break it down like this doc did
I have a friend like this. She was a model in her youth. Like runway-level stunning. She’s in her late 40s now and seems to be really struggling with this. I’m perfectly fine. I’m probably a “6 or 7”. My looks aren’t a hindrance but they haven’t won me anything. So as I go grey, get some wrinkles here & there, meh. But she’s so used to her appearance being so important, she’s focused on it. It’s pretty sad.
as someone who has been overweight her whole life, i was told it was how I carry myself and my confidence that was the most attractive. It is so very sad to see beautiful women, stunning and to be envied women falter. Letting their insecurities be the beginning of their downfall. LADIES` Love the you that you are!!! be the best of what you got!
I could not get over this one checkout operator. Her face was huge from filler abuse and her mouth reminded me of the talking doorknockers from The Labyrinth.
Yesss when I see those people online with insane amounts of botox and surgery...I wonder why they think it's attractive! Nothing is more beautiful than the way God created us!
Some are. Many yoga classes and studios seem to help cultivate a deep radiance, over time, through a broad-range healthy lfiestyle, including self-acceptance.
Society is OK with aging. The problem is the beautiful people aren't. Nobody cares that the average person ages. Nobody cares when the woman next door gets a few wrinkles. Most people would like to look as good as they did at 20. Most people get over it.
I think it all comes back to the self-esteem and how you see yourself. Nobody should depend on the opinions of others! My late grandmother turned 102 and ahe was one of the most beautiful women I've ever known. She was funny, witty, generous, loving and always positive. And all that with a million wrinkles in her face. Beauty comes from the inside, everything else is superficial nonsense!!❤
@jmrm01 exactly. You are completely judged on your appearance when you are deemed beautiful that it messes with your head. When you age, if you are beautiful, then people think it's ok to tell you, you are aging. They take pleasure from it.
She's a dermatologist and everyone has skin so I think she'll be fine. She's also very very correct and her honesty will attract people to her. Proof that you can benefit your business and your patients/customers simultaneously.
If she was REALLY blunt she would not have said late 30s early 40s. LOL. And if true (to her) it is only because when the crisis REALLY starts, late 20s, they are too broke to afford medical intervention.
Grow up... Woman choose to do this to themselves... Have some accountability.... No one forces them. They "feel" the need... No one is holding a gun to their heads...
@@ElMona funny that make me think back when was little, whenever I squinted at the sun or frowned, my mom always say dont do it, it will give you ugly wrinkle like your grandma 😂😂😂 I think it all started from then. I know she meant no harm, probably my grandma said the same things to her too.
@@ivyhays3478 That's kind of crazy isn't it? Growing up wit hthat kind of body shaming? actually told my mom off for talking to my niece like that several times
@@alicjaalvena1120 at age 70 if your face looks pretty like a 20 but your entire body looks 70, you will look like a freak. But hey, if it is your coping agenda 💁♀️💁♀️
This hit my best friend like a frikkin train. All our lives men have tripped over themselves to do things for her and buy her things and fought over her, and two kids and a divorce later that’s slowly becoming a thing of the past. She’s actively spiraling and is going into debt trying to maintain. I fear she may actually spontaneously combust the first time someone calls her old. However, a lifetime of being damn near invisible has prepared me to weather this storm without even noticing it lol can’t lose what you never had!
Same on the invisibility thing! However, my life has turned out brilliantly and I’m not sure it would have been the same if I had known “pretty privilege”.
@@taustin6524 I never had pretty privilege either. (That was my sister) However, I always looked quite younger than my age, so now that I'm 64, the one thing I had in my favor is disappearing, and it feels quite troubling.
If a person only seeks validation through their looks, then this midlife implosion happens. They have nothing else to offer the world and merely took liberties in their prime instead of putting the work in to get something/somewhere.
@@taustin6524being invisible has helped me avoid a lot of male trauma they don’t tread the pretty women better.. I have come to terms with it since 26 and now 39 life is good I get more attention now but not interested I love the life I have built for myself
I believe it was Cindy Crawford who said: being born extremely beautiful is like being born very rich and then getting more poor with each passing year. I think it is an under appreciated fact that being genetically gifted can make it hard to get older in some people.
Shows self-awareness. A female friend met Cindy Crawford in public once. They ended up talking for a few minutes (both were waiting for something, I can't remember what). My friend walked away 1) completely awed at how naturally beautiful Cindy was, and 2) very impressed at how down-to-earth and friendly Cindy was.
the coping delusions of yours that it only happens to privileged people is laughable. meanwhile people born average or ugly get uglier with aging too. so its like being born having living average life and then constantly losing money, ending up in getting homeless later and starvation how is that a good thing? so i'll take being genetically gifted (rich), since u have bigger pool of resources to detract from and u dont end up miserable. so yeah its better to be born living in mansion and ending up living in normal house than being born living in normal house and end up being homeless.
My Mom and Grandma would say "Pretty is as Pretty does." As a teen with braces and unsure about my looks I didn't feel pretty. I am a Senior Citizen now and understand what I could not as a young woman. The Real Love you have in your life comes from people who do not care AT ALL what you look like. Being Kind is Beautiful, Always pitching in to be of use, trying your best, being humble, being forgiving, being patient, being generous and loving... these are the Real Beauty in a grown woman. How you live your life, how you conduct yourself, being able to apologize when wrong, being curious and eager to learn something new every day makes you Fascinating. Men are very simple and they do NOT see all the things you fear are flaws. If your partner loves you, he loves all of you and always will. We all always our worst critics. We say things to ourselves sometimes, like I'm fat or I need Botox ... things we would Never ever say to our female friends because it would be Cruel. Try to learn Confidence in all that makes you You, Unique and worthy. Should you hear someone criticize your looks, they are not your friend. Move on. Not everyone will like you. Every guy has personal preferences just like we do for choosing attractive men. You are someone's Dream Girl exactly as you are reading this!
Yesterday, I saw the prettiest old lady. She had fully white hair and her skin was glowy. Even tho you can tell she was an older woman but something about her seemed so youthful. Aging is not bad your just at a different stage of life
You are literally the only doctor that is explaining it. I have met dermatologists and especially plastic surgeons who completely disagree and frankly don't even care. How can they do this? How's this even legal?
Pretty sure they are talking about physical attraction not energy or personality lol. Youth is the best, doesn’t matter how nice your features are at 40 you can never compare with an average 20 year old.
Common with very beautiful people. My mom was incredibly beautiful and had such a hard time aging. She always feared it and noticed every little thing. I think it’s the reason I am so over the topic of aging! I’ve been over it since I was a child! It’s still not easy to see your looks slowly change but I’m definitely not feeding that monster My mom never did anything to herself cosmetically except moisturize and at 70 she is still quite attractive. Her skin is still beautiful. Her body looks great and she’s pretty for her age. I still hear people refer to her as attractive. But she talks down about herself so much 😢 It doesn’t matter what anyone says. I’ve told her to stop that around me bc I will be that age too and I don’t need to hear that negativity in my head I wish there could have been more positivity around aging when she was younger. Unfortunately it’s always been quite negative for women. Until now. I’m happy to see a lot of older, beautiful, thriving women online now and really all around. It’s great I have never done anything cosmetically and probably never will. Glass skin doesn’t make anyone pretty and wrinkles don’t make anyone ugly Focus should always be health ❤
@@onaona1627 You're not thinking about it. Someone defining themselves by something external to them, of which they have no control, will always be at risk of being unhappy or worse. But those that define themselves by their looks seem to be the most stunted and superficial and those around the beautiful made them that way.
It can be tough when you start to look in the mirror and no longer recognize yourself. There can be some dissociation and very real body dysphoria that comes with it. Especially if you go through a trauma, or several in a row, you can age years overnight. Suddenly you wake up and have clumps of hair falling out, gray streaks, your eyes are a lighter color and now sunken in, your eyebrows have somehow disappeared, and you look fluffy around your jawline. I became severely ill and bedbound after a medical procedure went wrong, and it changed my life and body forever. In the course of a few years, I lost my work, my husband, house, pets, hope of motherhood, and suffered from regular fainting episodes, seizures, daily migraines, and severe bodywide pain. I acclimated to no more hair grooming & makeup- mostly because I couldn't stand up to do it. But also bc I wasn't seeing myself in the mirror anymore, being confined to my bed. But I started to forget what I actually looked like. I went from a healthy 28 year old, to a 35 year old trying to re-learn everything, including what my own face and body looked like. And it didn't appear or move the way I remembered. It didn't feel like it belonged to me. I was a stranger to myself. The old me was gone. I know everyone feels their old face slips away with age, but I didn’t slip away. My old face and body were robbed as if taken by thieves in the middle of the night. As I read through many of the wonderful comments here from those content and proud of their graceful aging, I ask you to please also consider the ppl who may not have the privilege of aging gracefully. Like my mother who has 3rd degree burns over 2/3rds of her body since she was a baby, enduring multiple surgeries over her life... yet she's one of the most beautiful joyful women you'd ever meet. Being "pretty" isn't the only privilege afforded to women. Good health, and mobility are privileges that can also greatly effect the aging process. This is just my own personal experience. Please be kind and have understanding and empathy toward those who may be different from yourself ❤
I always thought I'd get plastic surgery when I got old and saggy. But I'm 70 and still finding excuses to not do it. We have face and neck exercises on UA-cam, and creams with hyaluronic acid, vitamin C and caffeine that work magic. Personality and good physical and mental health are just as important as looks when you're older.
Face and neck exercises actually age you faster, it’s the contraction of muscles that causes lines and wrinkles, doing more of them just ages you faster. Also Hyaluronic acid works wonders if you inject it into the skin, but the molecules themselves are too big to actually penetrate the skin barrier so save your money there! Vitamin c is awesome! Retin-a, vitamin c and sunscreen is really all you need! Preferably a sunscreen with zinc or titanium to block a broad spectrum of ultra violet a and b rays. Fun fact, if something just says broad spectrum, it only blocks ultra violet a rays. Hydroquinone would be the only other thing worth spending your money on, hope this helps!
@@Margotrivera1980 I'm 70 and just speaking from personal experience. I don't do face exercises that wrinkle my upper lip (the wrinkles you see when smoking or using a straw). Daily Hyaluronic acid (combined with vitamin C) works for me, especially marionette, forehead and 11 lines. Retionol not so much. I think people will prefer one or the other, not both. The most important thing is to moisturize your face immediately after washing to lock the water against your skin, and always stroke your face upwards when washing and applying creams/makeup. But thankyou for your advice. We are all different and it takes time to learn what works best for each of us.
@Bellavandurren You’re not wrong, you’re just not right. Yes it would increase blood flow and strengthen muscles, but the muscles in your face can only get so big. They aren’t going to get big enough to fill out lines on the face. In theory, you’re right, but in trying to make the muscles bigger to fill out lines you’re actually making the lines worse. HA will sit on the skin and hydrate it, like a moisturizer, but it’s not going to do anything to improve skin quality. It’s a temporary fix.
@@Margotrivera1980 It depends what muscles you're exercising.. There was a study that found Face Yoga makes you look a few years younger. New York Tiems wrote an article about it "Facial Exercises May Make You Look 3 Years Younger"
Actually, there is no one more beautiful than a 10 who doesn't know it. Someone who hasn't been told all her life that she's gorgeous and used it to manipulate others and skate through life. Humility in a beautiful person is the ultimate beauty.
I remember in my late thirties realizing I wasn’t the prettiest person in the room anymore. It wasn’t a bad feeling necessarily but I just remembered thinking, “Oh. It’s the next generation’s turn.” I have friends getting stuff done but I haven’t because to me it’s just delaying the inevitable. They can do what they want with their own bodies. I have no issue with people getting work done. It’s just not for me. My face is my face and I’m comfortable letting it happen.
Same but I do get things done (conservatively, but still)... But no work can turn back time and I'm definitely aware I'm not young looking or the prettiest in most rooms anymore because even with work done, young women have a glow of actual youth lol
I didn’t come into my looks until my early 20s so I feel like I prepared for getting older as a teenager 😂 but now that’s I’m in my late 30s, I actually feel more attractive than I was in my 20s! Others may disagree but I’m keeping my confidence high cause confidence is key 😉 the only work I have is a breast augmentation, I let my lips and Botox fade out and now I wear my lines and small upper lip with pride but I would consider it again if felt like it (it was very natural before). Aging is a beautiful thing, I’m loving the wisdom that it has bestowed on me. The other option is death so I’ll take aging 😅
Thank u. I e been saying this to anyone who would listen for decades. I’m 62. Recent pic no filter. I’ve been a 7 my whole life and still am. I’ll embrace the aging.
Happy to have learned from my own mom (73) that my value isn’t in my face or my youth, and I (42) hope I’m passing that lesson to my daughters (20 and 22) too
@@Livetoeat171 this is what a good mother and a good person will say to anyone. I live in countryside and irrespective of how pretty you are people say to young girls that a beautiful personality can make up for beautiful face but a beautiful face can never make up for a beautiful personality. So keep your shallowness and immaturity to yourself
How wonderful to hear this from a real dermatologist! It seems like our culture has become sooo obsessed with youth, that we can no longer appreciate the beauty of aging. Thank you for being so candid!❤
I received a lovely compliment recently after just turning 70. A young woman did not believe my age....she thought I was about 50! All I can attribute it to is needing to have face cream.... regardless of how plain & cheap. I cannot bear to go without moisturiser in the morning.
I'm a ugly chick and In a way that's nice cos I get to come to terms with it earlier. I think some people who are super pretty don't realize how different it feels and you are treated when you are ugly and when it hits them there's this massive hole in there identity/sense of self.
Oh we know, and that is why we try to fight becoming unattractive. Any honest attractive person will admit that life is much easier when you’re beautiful. Pretty privilege is real. I have watched unattractive women receive different/poor treatment than myself in numerous situations throughout my life. The world is nicer to pretty people.
Pretty privilege is real, society likes attractive and shiny things. *But* having a conversation with beautiful people can feel like you’re talking to a wall because when you’re a 10, developing a good personality becomes an afterthought (most of the time). To the OP, I can assure you that you’re not ugly, that may be the way you see yourself but other people do not see you that way. Also, when you die people are gonna remember you for the impact you’ve had in their lives and not because you stood in a corner and “looked pretty”. Being more than just pretty is a fucking flex, I hope you embrace it ❤
She also said aging is awful, just awful. A big issue is acceptance, contentment, and gratitude rather than clinging to your younger self (that you probably weren't grateful for to begin with).
I love that you said: “They go hard in the paint!” 👍🏽🤣👏🏽 That pretty privilege is something else. If it weren’t for the fact that they’ve gotten so much in life just because of their looks, I would feel bad for them.
Yeah I always felt like the people who are closest to the beauty standard feel the most pressure to achieve it - because it's achievable for them. I don't feel the same pressure cause I'd need a completely new face 😂
You explained it perfectly! If you’re a 8/9, you feel like 10 could be possible if you just strain yourself a little more. If you’re a 4/5, you’re happy looking like a 6 on a good day.
Mhm, you are completely off base. It isn't anything about the power. If you are deemed as beautiful and that's all anyone has ever saw you as... the beautiful girl when you age, you feel not valued anymore. People only valued you for your beauty. Has nothing to do with power.
@@Keyrose-my3xrthis is 100% true. Pretty with no power is the person who panics. Pretty with power ages to absolutely gorgeous and powerful. Knowledge, wield it.
@sthomas4634 I guess i missed that in the handbook. Never felt powerful... the opposite. No one takes you seriously, and you get employed bc of your looks. Sounds wonderful at first until you realise, you only got the job bc they wanted to take advantage of you.
It’s so true. I’m a photographer and the people who come into my studio with the MOST baggage and insecurity are the ones who are the most “conventionally beautiful” they are so self-critical and unhappy with their appearance. It’s a bizarre paradox.
It's because people talk about your looks so much more when you're attractive. Rarely do they compliment you for any other reason. It gets into your head.
That’s because when someone is beautiful people will focus on looks more- and that also comes with lots of negative comments from others. I was walking with a friend who was a model and some other person commented on her “weird nose”..but I don’t think she would be a target if she was average.
The trouble is what society does to a child as they grow up "conventionally attractive." Everyone comments on your beauty, on your features, people say things like "you should be a model!", people say things like, "if I looked like that I would xyz." And you hear this over and over again, from people you know, and strangers you don't. Your entire existence in public is a commentary for others to make. For women presenting as feminine, when you are that conventionally attractive, men feel quite free to comment on everything, stop you in the middle of what you're doing or where you're going to tell you how good you look, how pretty your smile is, etc. etc. And heaven forbid you share this online because many people who do not consider themselves attractive will always then tell you with such biting sarcasm that it must be "so hard to be you," as if, again, because of your looks you can't possibly be feeling harassed and should be grateful for that unwanted attention. While some live perfectly normal lives - other attractive people either try to hide their looks under baggy clothing or lean in and flaunt it since everyone comments anyway. When you finally get to middle age and those "conventional looks" are going away, you literally have to redefine your value to society. The ones who chose to hide aren't nearly as bad off as those who leaned in (and those that were stable, bless you). You literally have to figure out a new way of valuing yourself, and that is NOT easy (no matter what you're trying to resolve). It's not really bizarre when you realize the environment a "conventionally beautiful" person has grown up in and how free people feel in society to comment continually on looks.
Another reminder for them, they likely aren’t deep into perimenopause yet. Start mentioning that, none of these 8/10 or 10/10 ladies are prepared for THOSE changes and how it impacts the face. As someone that is almost 48, I’ve seen the most changes so far since turning 46/47.
For me, it was at 60+ where I saw changes. My issue is what Hypothyroidism does to my hair… my curly hair now looks more like I put my finger in an electrical socket ⚡️🔌⚡️Plus it refuses to grow at all… so I am stuck with this hair style. Doesn’t fall out… just doesn’t grow longer. Nice hair helps one look youthful. And wigs don’t fit; too small.
@@marlenegold280 not that this suggestion/question applies to all of your concerns, but do you watch Dr Mary Claire Haver’s videos at all? They might be helpful in some regard. If you don’t I would highly highly suggest her channel.
When I think of a beautifully aging actress in Hollywood, I think of Andie macdowell. Just exudes beauty. People need to stop trying to be young their whole life!
Yep. I have seen so many old women that I thought were beautiful. People are just conditioned to believe old = ugly. We have a youth obsessed culture. It's sad.
I think or hope once you hit 60 that you come to terms with it all and then yes women are beautiful but the age 45-55 age range is rough. I looked 18 till I turned 35 and still looked way younger ans now at 48 I look 35 but I can see changes happening fast and well I just want to get to an age where its not some i between point that is very rough.
Thank you thank you thank for saying this!!! This is sooo true !!! When I was about 40, I have great skin, a friend told me that we should get Botox and fillings because it would prevent us from aging faster. So we went to a dermatologist and after five days when the b Botox started setting in one of my children told me please mom take away what you did to your face every time you look at me you scare me!!!! Since then I decided to gracefully!!!! Now that I see photos of myself back when, I asked myself what the hell were you thinking!!! I am 60 now and I really embrace and love my wrinkles!!! my skin is still great but I guess that's genetic. Thank you again
I aged prematurely in a span of 3 years due to multiple autoimmune issues. I’m told I was a 10, but I always felt more like an 8. 😂 But, that only made it more traumatic when folks thought I was my kiddo’s grandma at 37. 😢 I went from like an 8 to a 5 in a span of 3 years. I now used a cane was very overweight at one point, and then got dangerously skinny all of a sudden and even got a turkey neck. It was a rough time. Then, I got over it. Cause “no use crying over spilled milk.” At least not forever. Once my mind was more at ease, I began feeling like my old self again. Now, I feel like at least a 7 and improving. Self love is it, ladies. That felt bad, but I kept my confidence in check. When we’ve been over confident our whole lives, it hits us a bit harder cause we never felt those things before. But, our bodies are but our shell.❤😊
I have observed exactly this! I am a 5 on a really good day and as such have never had my beauty define me. In general, the more beautiful one has been throughout life, the harder it is to accept their beauty fading as a natural process of aging.
I cannot tell you how many times I, as a guy, have explained to a lady that she is beautiful, any lines or "imperfections" are in fact just part of her diary of life and make her more beautiful. Speaking as a middle-aged guy, I think most signs of aging just show a lady has lived .
Yep. Until their mid-30s, women are pretty, from the mid-30s, is when beauty starts. It's absolutely those little imperfections that make a person visually interesting.
As healthy as that is that you feel that way, women who mess with their face (me included) don't think about men when we get stuff done to our face. We think about what we see in the mirror.
@@viceads18 Maybe you don't directly think about men, but indirectly as part of your environment, because it's the contact with your environment (men and women) which give you the reference points to create your internal beauty-standards.
Amen! There are so many actresses who could have aged beautifully if they only left well enough alone. Instead, they end up looking nearly unrecognizable.
I think we need to look at our diets first when it comes to skin aging. Wrinkles are crested by inflammation in the body . meaning what you eat affects the aging process,how fast you age and how your skin holds up. Sugar is the main culprit. Get rid if processed food and excess sugar. And your skin will look clearer in months. And also, get regular exercise....
40 years of marriage to a real L.A. 10 and I have told her natural beauty shines through. I would never want her to go through the pain of unnecessary surgery. So I tell her everyday she is gorgeous... let your girl know she is crushing it.
My grandma and my mom both aged naturally and were the most stunning women I’ve ever known in my life! Even in her 60s, grandma did glamor shots and looked like a model. Even when she passed at 80 she was stunning. Mom didn’t make it to 60 but her chronic health issues aged her quickly. And she was STILL the most stunning creature I’ve ever seen! My aunt is in her mid to late 50s and has had so much cosmetic intervention and she looks like a wax statue. She can’t even smile properly. It’s unnerving and I’ve witnessed her make small children cry because of it.
Ditto. Iv was cute in my teens, twenties, and early 30s, but in my mid 30-through 40s, I apparently became sexier. I was much more comfortable and happy... and got hit on my much younger men a lot.
I leaned into my flaws at an early age. It has served me well. It made me appreciate myself when others tried to bring me down. At my age, it’s all downhill, but I still have my self confidence while all the friends who valued only their youth are freaking out.
Oh my gosh…I feel this so much! I had premature menopause after chemo and radiation, which accelerated the aging a LOT. It’s hard to notice such a drastic change but I embrace it now. I’m grateful to be alive. I would love to look younger, but I’m fine as I am 😊
I would like to see all the doctors with the gift to be a doctor to help people in need for one instead off filling/cutting up people who need a shrink.
Agree 100%. Just hit the gym or trails, and review your diet, sleep - I'm attracted to natural beauty any day of the week, admittedly speaking as a 50 year old guy. I'm trying to live by these words myself. It's a harder road, but one yielding many benefits.
Diet and sleep are my issues. Fortunately genetics are on my side but at some point I'm going to be looking at my mom in the mirror. I give it 20 years.
I started to feel this at 50. And just continued with my skincare. Never had ANY procedures. None. Now at 59, I started at home Micro current and RED LIGHT THERAPY.
Honestly I look at my mom, she’s 50 and has never touched her face, one of my little cousins thought she was 30. Wear your sunscreen, drink water, get sleep, don’t stress too much and you’ll age gracefully.
Thank you for this! It needed to be said and heard. I luckily caught myself before I fell too far down the rabbit hole. I will keep up with good skincare, occasional professional facials (because I love them for relaxation lol), eating healthy and being happy in my skin (no pun intended lol). I see so many people going into debt for the newest cosmetic procedure and most of the time, I can’t tell the “before” picture from the “after.” 🤷🏻♀️ Then as you stated, the weird look comes around. I know someone who did PDO Threads to get “dimples.” It looks-weird! Her facial structure isn’t suited for “dimples.” It looks like two fingerprint smudges on her cheek. At 62, I’m proud of my age. Thanks to lifelong sunscreen and no smoking, it’s paying off with no forehead lines and just minor surface crow’s feet. That’ll change, and it’s ok! I’d rather take my natural looks over weird & fake any day. Love your channel! 🌹
LITERALLY JUST COMMENTED THIS EXACT SAME THING BEFORE SCROLLING TO FIND YOUR COMMENT. idk what it is but she said it with conviction and I was like yeah! Let’s goooo!
She got me there, ngl. Made her a derm more of us need- actually encouraging healthy aging and learning how to evolve your look instead of become a weird surgery freakshow. Like...some celebs who looked fine now look like they have butts with how full their cheekbones are.
I’ve been happily a 7 or so my whole life and that seems to be extending into my 40’s. I’ve never had true beauty and the older I get, I shout it from the rooftops that being stunning when you’re young must be terribly painful as you age. Us people on the pleasant-looking but not beautiful side of things just get to keep on looking the same. I see now what a huge, wonderful gift it is.
NO, it’s a relief not to have males staring at me all the time and women hating me just because I was gifted with beauty. I’m almost 60 and have never touched my face or body with any cosmetic procedures. I hardly wear makeup but have been blessed to still have a good body (thanks to surfing). I have aged skin from the sun, but I still get the older guys smiling at me. They seem to mellow after a certain age.
Thank you for this positive comment! Sometimes I worry if I’ll actually miss it when men stop asking me out randomly or catcall me on the streets. I’m glad to hear that you found it a relief because I think it will be but I won’t know until they finally stop
Omg lady, thank you so much. I hope this reaches, effit, even just one. Even young women are ruining themselves because they want some magical treatment to match their opinion..... Why do you want what you want ladies... And gentlemen..... Why do we want needs to be addressed.
It’s also hard because in this social media environment we live in this perpetual youthful “culture” where most of unserious trolls will age shame you in lack of other insults as if they’ll be 15 forever… But yeah to your point, it’s really hard to deal with this issue- to know that all heads turned over you or you got the attention once you entered a room and nowadays it’s like you’re invisible to others😢
This so needed to be said! I see it all the time. "It's so much better to look older than look weird!"
yes your right indeed
My Gramma had amazing smile lines. She had a full, and sometimes hard life. But she loved with her whole heart.
It has to be said!!
Yeah, it happens to my most beautiful friends who were always so validated by their hotness. Even in the teenage years they would submerge their face in ice water to shrink pores. It’s a weird kind of perfectionistic striving that never can meet a satisfactory outcome.
Yeah, have you seen Nicole Kidman?
Poverty solves that problem quite well
THIS.
agreed, when you're broke, you age gracefully, lol
@@nkess7602 Also, if you've never been pretty to begin with, getting older is no big deal. What is it the French say: "A pretty woman dies twice."
I think poverty has its own issues.
lol I keep saying I’m gonna get so many procedures as soon as I’m not broke 😂
Every time I feel weird about aging bc of beauty standards and a society that makes women feel old and “past their prime” by the time they’re 35 I remember that there’s so many people who had their lives taken and are hauntingly forever young and will never get the chance to age and that again and growing old is a blessing. ❤
So well said.
With adequate sunblock and a good skincare routine, there's every chance that the average woman can stay looking relatively youthful into their 40's. Anything past that will rely on genetics, but that sunblock and skincare routine will still go a long way to making you look younger than you are.
Soooo, you mean vampires?
I like to think of my mom and my grandmas. If i hate wrinkles and age spots and such, by extension I'd have to hate them on them too. But I don't and I don't want to. Every wrinkle and every age spot is a trace of the life they've lived, the hardships they've overcome, the happiness they've experienced and they are not beautiful despite but because of them. And it shouldn't be any different for myself.
@@Schlachtenhase What an inspiring way to think. 🫶
Being average has finally given me an advantage 😗
lolll I know right, I don't worry about aging at all because I'm already mid so who cares
Mood
Literally was thinking this exact thing !
@@fenshipismagic sameeee
Same lol
Spoken like a true doctor. Being realistic about your patient’s wellbeing and not pushing/passively doing procedures to make money.
I am 64 and workout 2 times a day at my fitness center. I take A LOT of supplements and have for 25 years. I have 2 daughters and my oldest granddaughter is a freshman in college and so is her mother my daughter they are going to college together ❤ Life is fabulous! I feel great, look fit and healthy and having a great year. Last couple of years have been challenging since I turned 60 but I’ve made a comeback ❤ it takes persistence and tenacity to keep focused on mental, emotional and physical wellness but so worth the effort! My goal 🥅 s the see me great grandchildren and at this point looks like it’s going to be a goal I can reach 🥇
Well she's a dermatologist not a plastic surgeon so selling plastic surgery isn't in her best interest
look what happened to Joan Rivers...died trying to look young.
@@nat_penrose Dermatologists can as well push into "procedures"!
This is so true!!! I recently saw a movie on Netflix called”family affair” and the two of the three actresses in it were Nicole Kidman and Kathy Bates. Nicole ( 57) looked so weird clearly from all the work she had done, but Kathy (76) with no work, silver hair and wrinkles, ironically, looked so youthful compared to Nicole! It was crazy! Every-time Kathy was on screen, she looked absolutely stunning!
I love Kathy Bates.
Zac Efron too. He looked really strange in that one. But I guess it just speaks to the pressure that society puts on people to live up to impossible beauty standards, to the point that they're willing to alter their own bodies.
@@SimplyMeVictoria I did read that Zac actually had jaw surgery because he had a terrible accident, hence why his face looks like that
Kidman looks amazing....put thr koolaode down
@@Zenobiadreamyup simply Victoria is simply a judgemental hack
This explains Hollywood actors & models so well.
Well, they started the insanity and they can afford everything!
I was gonna say, we should call it The Vanderpump Rules Problem! Some of them started getting Botox and injections at 24!
It explains most gorgeous women I know, and I know a lot of 10s... Even if they can't afford it, they all wish they could. It's sad because they don't see how beautiful they really are.
Stalone..
Efron, Kardashians, etc … it’s sad how insecurity & wanting to fix every “imperfection” can drive people into doing procedures that quickly go over the top. Not too mention money hungry surgeons who won’t break it down like this doc did
Joan Rivers used to say something like "getting old is more difficult if you're beautiful" 😅
Lauren Bacall said: “A beautiful woman dies twice.”
Or Dolly for that fact..."It costs a lot of money to look this cheap"❤
@@MarshallArtz007 whoa, that's heavy! Thanks for sharing!
I have a friend like this. She was a model in her youth. Like runway-level stunning. She’s in her late 40s now and seems to be really struggling with this. I’m perfectly fine. I’m probably a “6 or 7”. My looks aren’t a hindrance but they haven’t won me anything. So as I go grey, get some wrinkles here & there, meh. But she’s so used to her appearance being so important, she’s focused on it. It’s pretty sad.
She passed away during a procedure, trying to look younger. Preventable.
as someone who has been overweight her whole life, i was told it was how I carry myself and my confidence that was the most attractive. It is so very sad to see beautiful women, stunning and to be envied women falter. Letting their insecurities be the beginning of their downfall. LADIES` Love the you that you are!!! be the best of what you got!
"It's so much better to look older than look weird" yes to this one million times!
I could not get over this one checkout operator. Her face was huge from filler abuse and her mouth reminded me of the talking doorknockers from The Labyrinth.
Yesss when I see those people online with insane amounts of botox and surgery...I wonder why they think it's attractive! Nothing is more beautiful than the way God created us!
John 3:16❤
I see so many women with too much work done. It's not pretty
Bill Burr actually made a joke about it on his Standup years ago
I heard a saying that beautiful women die twice. I wish society was okay with aging.
Some are. Many yoga classes and studios seem to help cultivate a deep radiance, over time, through a broad-range healthy lfiestyle, including self-acceptance.
Society is OK with aging. The problem is the beautiful people aren't.
Nobody cares that the average person ages. Nobody cares when the woman next door gets a few wrinkles.
Most people would like to look as good as they did at 20. Most people get over it.
I think it all comes back to the self-esteem and how you see yourself. Nobody should depend on the opinions of others! My late grandmother turned 102 and ahe was one of the most beautiful women I've ever known. She was funny, witty, generous, loving and always positive. And all that with a million wrinkles in her face. Beauty comes from the inside, everything else is superficial nonsense!!❤
@@William.Driscollexactly, it has all to do with frequency and vibration!! It comes from the inside, from your heart❤
@jmrm01 exactly. You are completely judged on your appearance when you are deemed beautiful that it messes with your head. When you age, if you are beautiful, then people think it's ok to tell you, you are aging. They take pleasure from it.
She is the first doctor that I heard said the right thing to future patients. Be a beautiful you with wrinkles
"how the dead must cringe at our resistance to look as though we've lived" a quote by kate baer and it lives rent free in my head
Holy shit....I feel like it may start living in my head now too 😅
off topic but yes the jaw cult
Love it!
I also like "aging is a privilege many of us are denied"
LOVE kate baer A+ quote
I like how blunt she was about this. She loses money from this conversation. That's a good person.
She's a dermatologist and everyone has skin so I think she'll be fine. She's also very very correct and her honesty will attract people to her. Proof that you can benefit your business and your patients/customers simultaneously.
If she was REALLY blunt she would not have said late 30s early 40s. LOL. And if true (to her) it is only because when the crisis REALLY starts, late 20s, they are too broke to afford medical intervention.
@@mgelliott1 She literally emphasized that it was a generalization, right after she said 30 and 40...
@@mgelliott1 crisis starts late 20s? if it was like that for you it means you aged like milk, lol.
she wont. people like you, fanatics of "graceful aging", give her views, and views translate to money.
Good advice. Media and the internet have not done women ANY favors.
Welcome to the Patriarchy....
It has not!
And men too. A colleague showed me the fake tan line on his arm he's got, in prep for a wedding
Its not the media, its women. They just want the attention and validation.
Grow up... Woman choose to do this to themselves... Have some accountability.... No one forces them. They "feel" the need... No one is holding a gun to their heads...
"It's so much better to look older than to look weird." Truer words never spoken...
Also who decided it was a bad thing to look your age?
@@ElMona funny that make me think back when was little, whenever I squinted at the sun or frowned, my mom always say dont do it, it will give you ugly wrinkle like your grandma 😂😂😂 I think it all started from then. I know she meant no harm, probably my grandma said the same things to her too.
@@ivyhays3478 That's kind of crazy isn't it? Growing up wit hthat kind of body shaming? actually told my mom off for talking to my niece like that several times
it is also much better to look prettier and younger than older, but i guess that one doesnt suit your coping agenda, lol
@@alicjaalvena1120 at age 70 if your face looks pretty like a 20 but your entire body looks 70, you will look like a freak. But hey, if it is your coping agenda 💁♀️💁♀️
This hit my best friend like a frikkin train. All our lives men have tripped over themselves to do things for her and buy her things and fought over her, and two kids and a divorce later that’s slowly becoming a thing of the past. She’s actively spiraling and is going into debt trying to maintain. I fear she may actually spontaneously combust the first time someone calls her old.
However, a lifetime of being damn near invisible has prepared me to weather this storm without even noticing it lol can’t lose what you never had!
I hope she finds a good therapist.
Same on the invisibility thing! However, my life has turned out brilliantly and I’m not sure it would have been the same if I had known “pretty privilege”.
@@taustin6524 I never had pretty privilege either. (That was my sister) However, I always looked quite younger than my age, so now that I'm 64, the one thing I had in my favor is disappearing, and it feels quite troubling.
If a person only seeks validation through their looks, then this midlife implosion happens.
They have nothing else to offer the world and merely took liberties in their prime instead of putting the work in to get something/somewhere.
@@taustin6524being invisible has helped me avoid a lot of male trauma they don’t tread the pretty women better.. I have come to terms with it since 26 and now 39 life is good I get more attention now but not interested I love the life I have built for myself
I believe it was Cindy Crawford who said: being born extremely beautiful is like being born very rich and then getting more poor with each passing year. I think it is an under appreciated fact that being genetically gifted can make it hard to get older in some people.
And she is a beauty who hasn't had intervention and she is so refreshing. Paulina Porizkova as well.
Shows self-awareness. A female friend met Cindy Crawford in public once. They ended up talking for a few minutes (both were waiting for something, I can't remember what). My friend walked away 1) completely awed at how naturally beautiful Cindy was, and 2) very impressed at how down-to-earth and friendly Cindy was.
@@PiperSevernthe women having good work done have you all fooled
the coping delusions of yours that it only happens to privileged people is laughable. meanwhile people born average or ugly get uglier with aging too. so its like being born having living average life and then constantly losing money, ending up in getting homeless later and starvation how is that a good thing? so i'll take being genetically gifted (rich), since u have bigger pool of resources to detract from and u dont end up miserable. so yeah its better to be born living in mansion and ending up living in normal house than being born living in normal house and end up being homeless.
@@PiperSevern how stupid can one be to think cindy didnt have any cosmetic procedures done?
My Mom and Grandma would say "Pretty is as Pretty does." As a teen with braces and unsure about my looks I didn't feel pretty. I am a Senior Citizen now and understand what I could not as a young woman. The Real Love you have in your life comes from people who do not care AT ALL what you look like.
Being Kind is Beautiful, Always pitching in to be of use, trying your best, being humble, being forgiving, being patient, being generous and loving... these are the Real Beauty in a grown woman. How you live your life, how you conduct yourself, being able to apologize when wrong, being curious and eager to learn something new every day makes you Fascinating.
Men are very simple and they do NOT see all the things you fear are flaws. If your partner loves you, he loves all of you and always will. We all always our worst critics. We say things to ourselves sometimes, like I'm fat or I need Botox ... things we would Never ever say to our female friends because it would be Cruel. Try to learn Confidence in all that makes you You, Unique and worthy. Should you hear someone criticize your looks, they are not your friend. Move on. Not everyone will like you. Every guy has personal preferences just like we do for choosing attractive men. You are someone's Dream Girl exactly as you are reading this!
Wise (and beautiful) advice.
your comment is so sweet and beautiful advice to any young woman
Beautiful 🤩
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox love this. And it's so true. 🩷🩷🩷🩷🙏🙏
You're so sweet :(
Yesterday, I saw the prettiest old lady. She had fully white hair and her skin was glowy. Even tho you can tell she was an older woman but something about her seemed so youthful. Aging is not bad your just at a different stage of life
I went prematurely gray ,so she may not be as old as you think 😊
Yes! I have always noticed this! People ruining their natural beauty.
You are literally the only doctor that is explaining it. I have met dermatologists and especially plastic surgeons who completely disagree and frankly don't even care. How can they do this? How's this even legal?
The realest derma I've seen on my page
Money talks
you’ve met? why are you going to so many 💀
@@hadesisbaby I don't go to them. Met them socially and educationally.
I'm gonna say it's the money.
"It's better to look older than to look weird" absolutely 👍🏻
Being attractive "isnt" just youth. It isnt just looks. Energy, clothes, style. If you make others feel good about themselves 👍10/10.
It’s features not youth
Also, character, compassion, emotional intelligence....
Nah it’s youth 😂
Pretty sure they are talking about physical attraction not energy or personality lol. Youth is the best, doesn’t matter how nice your features are at 40 you can never compare with an average 20 year old.
Common with very beautiful people. My mom was incredibly beautiful and had such a hard time aging. She always feared it and noticed every little thing. I think it’s the reason I am so over the topic of aging! I’ve been over it since I was a child! It’s still not easy to see your looks slowly change but I’m definitely not feeding that monster
My mom never did anything to herself cosmetically except moisturize and at 70 she is still quite attractive. Her skin is still beautiful. Her body looks great and she’s pretty for her age. I still hear people refer to her as attractive. But she talks down about herself so much 😢 It doesn’t matter what anyone says. I’ve told her to stop that around me bc I will be that age too and I don’t need to hear that negativity in my head
I wish there could have been more positivity around aging when she was younger. Unfortunately it’s always been quite negative for women. Until now. I’m happy to see a lot of older, beautiful, thriving women online now and really all around. It’s great
I have never done anything cosmetically and probably never will. Glass skin doesn’t make anyone pretty and wrinkles don’t make anyone ugly
Focus should always be health ❤
This doctor wants her patients to age gracefully.
This advice isn't going to reach them. They have defined themselves by their looks. They are freakin' lost.
@@ronj9448 you are just miserable and angry.
@@onaona1627 You're not thinking about it. Someone defining themselves by something external to them, of which they have no control, will always be at risk of being unhappy or worse. But those that define themselves by their looks seem to be the most stunted and superficial and those around the beautiful made them that way.
All the women & men in my family are aging gracefully. They’re gorgeous. My mom’s skin is flawless. And at 74, she still has all her teeth.
if that's the case why does she tweak them at all?
Finally a honest doctor, moral over money ❤
It can be tough when you start to look in the mirror and no longer recognize yourself. There can be some dissociation and very real body dysphoria that comes with it.
Especially if you go through a trauma, or several in a row, you can age years overnight. Suddenly you wake up and have clumps of hair falling out, gray streaks, your eyes are a lighter color and now sunken in, your eyebrows have somehow disappeared, and you look fluffy around your jawline.
I became severely ill and bedbound after a medical procedure went wrong, and it changed my life and body forever. In the course of a few years, I lost my work, my husband, house, pets, hope of motherhood, and suffered from regular fainting episodes, seizures, daily migraines, and severe bodywide pain.
I acclimated to no more hair grooming & makeup- mostly because I couldn't stand up to do it. But also bc I wasn't seeing myself in the mirror anymore, being confined to my bed.
But I started to forget what I actually looked like. I went from a healthy 28 year old, to a 35 year old trying to re-learn everything, including what my own face and body looked like.
And it didn't appear or move the way I remembered. It didn't feel like it belonged to me. I was a stranger to myself. The old me was gone.
I know everyone feels their old face slips away with age, but I didn’t slip away. My old face and body were robbed as if taken by thieves in the middle of the night.
As I read through many of the wonderful comments here from those content and proud of their graceful aging, I ask you to please also consider the ppl who may not have the privilege of aging gracefully. Like my mother who has 3rd degree burns over 2/3rds of her body since she was a baby, enduring multiple surgeries over her life... yet she's one of the most beautiful joyful women you'd ever meet.
Being "pretty" isn't the only privilege afforded to women. Good health, and mobility are privileges that can also greatly effect the aging process.
This is just my own personal experience. Please be kind and have understanding and empathy toward those who may be different from yourself ❤
I always thought I'd get plastic surgery when I got old and saggy. But I'm 70 and still finding excuses to not do it. We have face and neck exercises on UA-cam, and creams with hyaluronic acid, vitamin C and caffeine that work magic. Personality and good physical and mental health are just as important as looks when you're older.
Hyaluronic acid is a sham
Face and neck exercises actually age you faster, it’s the contraction of muscles that causes lines and wrinkles, doing more of them just ages you faster. Also Hyaluronic acid works wonders if you inject it into the skin, but the molecules themselves are too big to actually penetrate the skin barrier so save your money there! Vitamin c is awesome! Retin-a, vitamin c and sunscreen is really all you need! Preferably a sunscreen with zinc or titanium to block a broad spectrum of ultra violet a and b rays. Fun fact, if something just says broad spectrum, it only blocks ultra violet a rays. Hydroquinone would be the only other thing worth spending your money on, hope this helps!
@@Margotrivera1980 I'm 70 and just speaking from personal experience. I don't do face exercises that wrinkle my upper lip (the wrinkles you see when smoking or using a straw). Daily Hyaluronic acid (combined with vitamin C) works for me, especially marionette, forehead and 11 lines. Retionol not so much. I think people will prefer one or the other, not both.
The most important thing is to moisturize your face immediately after washing to lock the water against your skin, and always stroke your face upwards when washing and applying creams/makeup.
But thankyou for your advice. We are all different and it takes time to learn what works best for each of us.
@Bellavandurren You’re not wrong, you’re just not right. Yes it would increase blood flow and strengthen muscles, but the muscles in your face can only get so big. They aren’t going to get big enough to fill out lines on the face. In theory, you’re right, but in trying to make the muscles bigger to fill out lines you’re actually making the lines worse. HA will sit on the skin and hydrate it, like a moisturizer, but it’s not going to do anything to improve skin quality. It’s a temporary fix.
@@Margotrivera1980 It depends what muscles you're exercising.. There was a study that found Face Yoga makes you look a few years younger. New York Tiems wrote an article about it "Facial Exercises May Make You Look 3 Years Younger"
We need more doctors like this in the beauty field. Honest logical advice.
There is nothing more beautiful than a person who's confident in their natural form. That is a kind of beauty you cant buy or inject.
that is nice to hear, and very true
Actually, there is no one more beautiful than a 10 who doesn't know it. Someone who hasn't been told all her life that she's gorgeous and used it to manipulate others and skate through life. Humility in a beautiful person is the ultimate beauty.
I remember in my late thirties realizing I wasn’t the prettiest person in the room anymore. It wasn’t a bad feeling necessarily but I just remembered thinking, “Oh. It’s the next generation’s turn.” I have friends getting stuff done but I haven’t because to me it’s just delaying the inevitable. They can do what they want with their own bodies. I have no issue with people getting work done. It’s just not for me. My face is my face and I’m comfortable letting it happen.
Same but I do get things done (conservatively, but still)... But no work can turn back time and I'm definitely aware I'm not young looking or the prettiest in most rooms anymore because even with work done, young women have a glow of actual youth lol
I find it almost liberating. Like the pressure is off. Lol
I didn’t come into my looks until my early 20s so I feel like I prepared for getting older as a teenager 😂 but now that’s I’m in my late 30s, I actually feel more attractive than I was in my 20s! Others may disagree but I’m keeping my confidence high cause confidence is key 😉 the only work I have is a breast augmentation, I let my lips and Botox fade out and now I wear my lines and small upper lip with pride but I would consider it again if felt like it (it was very natural before). Aging is a beautiful thing, I’m loving the wisdom that it has bestowed on me. The other option is death so I’ll take aging 😅
@@4everyoung24that’s what my mum says. It took her until close to 60 for men to leave her alone 😂😂 and sometimes they still try, but it’s not so often
@@keckingrabbit354 and also have the wisdom to know that I’m more than just what others find attractive. Even if no one else did, that would be fine.
Thank u. I e been saying this to anyone who would listen for decades. I’m 62. Recent pic no filter. I’ve been a 7 my whole life and still am. I’ll embrace the aging.
Happy to have learned from my own mom (73) that my value isn’t in my face or my youth, and I (42) hope I’m passing that lesson to my daughters (20 and 22) too
That's exactly what a good mom will say to her "plain Jane" daughter
@@Livetoeat171too bad about your mom
@@Livetoeat171 this is what a good mother and a good person will say to anyone. I live in countryside and irrespective of how pretty you are people say to young girls that a beautiful personality can make up for beautiful face but a beautiful face can never make up for a beautiful personality. So keep your shallowness and immaturity to yourself
Good mum. ❤
How wonderful to hear this from a real dermatologist! It seems like our culture has become sooo obsessed with youth, that we can no longer appreciate the beauty of aging. Thank you for being so candid!❤
she said, they feel the need to "go hard in the paint"😂😂😂😂 ...literally 😂😂😂
Years ago, my husband said ... she might look older without that surgery but she would've looked so much prettier if she just left her face be. ❤️
I received a lovely compliment recently after just turning 70. A young woman did not believe my age....she thought I was about 50!
All I can attribute it to is needing to have face cream.... regardless of how plain & cheap. I cannot bear to go without moisturiser in the morning.
I'm the same way and I don't look my age.
And lots of women use cream every day and do look their age.
It's genetics, not effort. We're just lucky.
I'm glad you actually say that because everybody knows it.
I'm a ugly chick and In a way that's nice cos I get to come to terms with it earlier. I think some people who are super pretty don't realize how different it feels and you are treated when you are ugly and when it hits them there's this massive hole in there identity/sense of self.
Oh we know, and that is why we try to fight becoming unattractive. Any honest attractive person will admit that life is much easier when you’re beautiful. Pretty privilege is real. I have watched unattractive women receive different/poor treatment than myself in numerous situations throughout my life. The world is nicer to pretty people.
Pretty privilege is real, society likes attractive and shiny things. *But* having a conversation with beautiful people can feel like you’re talking to a wall because when you’re a 10, developing a good personality becomes an afterthought (most of the time).
To the OP, I can assure you that you’re not ugly, that may be the way you see yourself but other people do not see you that way. Also, when you die people are gonna remember you for the impact you’ve had in their lives and not because you stood in a corner and “looked pretty”. Being more than just pretty is a fucking flex, I hope you embrace it ❤
@@Noone-wi1ulYou’re right but I would just be careful. Like the short said, fighting “unattractiveness” will only make you more ugly!
@@sarahshogunwa What are you smoking? Most good looking people aren't vapid nothings lol. That kind of bitterness isn't pretty.
Same with getting fat for the first time in ur whole life.
She's so spot on.
Almost. Just dont do cosmetic surgery at all
She also said aging is awful, just awful. A big issue is acceptance, contentment, and gratitude rather than clinging to your younger self (that you probably weren't grateful for to begin with).
I love that you said: “They go hard in the paint!” 👍🏽🤣👏🏽
That pretty privilege is something else. If it weren’t for the fact that they’ve gotten so much in life just because of their looks, I would feel bad for them.
Beauty is temporary but dumb is forever. -Judge Judy
I love that!❤
😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣❤❤❤
Yeah I always felt like the people who are closest to the beauty standard feel the most pressure to achieve it - because it's achievable for them. I don't feel the same pressure cause I'd need a completely new face 😂
hilarious! PS- I'm sure you look just fine!
That's what I thought too! 😅
Makes sense
🤣🤣🤣
You explained it perfectly!
If you’re a 8/9, you feel like 10 could be possible if you just strain yourself a little more. If you’re a 4/5, you’re happy looking like a 6 on a good day.
I love when celebrities just age naturally, they are so beautiful.
Its crazy how much power an attractive girl can have. No one would like losing that.
Mhm, you are completely off base.
It isn't anything about the power. If you are deemed as beautiful and that's all anyone has ever saw you as... the beautiful girl when you age, you feel not valued anymore. People only valued you for your beauty.
Has nothing to do with power.
.
@@Keyrose-my3xrthis is 100% true. Pretty with no power is the person who panics. Pretty with power ages to absolutely gorgeous and powerful. Knowledge, wield it.
I disagree. Beauty allows a woman to have power. You only know that if you’ve been pretty.
@sthomas4634 I guess i missed that in the handbook.
Never felt powerful... the opposite.
No one takes you seriously, and you get employed bc of your looks. Sounds wonderful at first until you realise, you only got the job bc they wanted to take advantage of you.
It’s so true. I’m a photographer and the people who come into my studio with the MOST baggage and insecurity are the ones who are the most “conventionally beautiful” they are so self-critical and unhappy with their appearance. It’s a bizarre paradox.
It's because people talk about your looks so much more when you're attractive. Rarely do they compliment you for any other reason. It gets into your head.
I remember that sinking feeling of seeing those types of customers. After doing that job for so long you can immediately tell lmao
That’s because when someone is beautiful people will focus on looks more- and that also comes with lots of negative comments from others. I was walking with a friend who was a model and some other person commented on her “weird nose”..but I don’t think she would be a target if she was average.
@@sarahd7932 youre a good friend for even noticing your beautiful friend's plight since most women would just be jealous instead
The trouble is what society does to a child as they grow up "conventionally attractive." Everyone comments on your beauty, on your features, people say things like "you should be a model!", people say things like, "if I looked like that I would xyz." And you hear this over and over again, from people you know, and strangers you don't. Your entire existence in public is a commentary for others to make.
For women presenting as feminine, when you are that conventionally attractive, men feel quite free to comment on everything, stop you in the middle of what you're doing or where you're going to tell you how good you look, how pretty your smile is, etc. etc. And heaven forbid you share this online because many people who do not consider themselves attractive will always then tell you with such biting sarcasm that it must be "so hard to be you," as if, again, because of your looks you can't possibly be feeling harassed and should be grateful for that unwanted attention.
While some live perfectly normal lives - other attractive people either try to hide their looks under baggy clothing or lean in and flaunt it since everyone comments anyway. When you finally get to middle age and those "conventional looks" are going away, you literally have to redefine your value to society. The ones who chose to hide aren't nearly as bad off as those who leaned in (and those that were stable, bless you).
You literally have to figure out a new way of valuing yourself, and that is NOT easy (no matter what you're trying to resolve). It's not really bizarre when you realize the environment a "conventionally beautiful" person has grown up in and how free people feel in society to comment continually on looks.
being old is a privilege
. Just embrace it gracefully.
Okay, for all of us gals who were never above a 5, we’ve got this❤
Right?! It’s nice not to have to worry about being unattractive when I’m older. Hit the jackpot early! 😂
We gained useful skills along the way that have made life more fun. I'm here for it!
❤
Haha yes😂
Another reminder for them, they likely aren’t deep into perimenopause yet. Start mentioning that, none of these 8/10 or 10/10 ladies are prepared for THOSE changes and how it impacts the face. As someone that is almost 48, I’ve seen the most changes so far since turning 46/47.
For me, it was at 60+ where I saw changes.
My issue is what Hypothyroidism does to my hair… my curly hair now looks more like I put my finger in an electrical socket ⚡️🔌⚡️Plus it refuses to grow at all… so I am stuck with this hair style.
Doesn’t fall out… just doesn’t grow longer.
Nice hair helps one look youthful. And wigs don’t fit; too small.
Yes! My neck is wrinkling up faster than I expected.
@@marlenegold280 not that this suggestion/question applies to all of your concerns, but do you watch Dr Mary Claire Haver’s videos at all? They might be helpful in some regard. If you don’t I would highly highly suggest her channel.
I'm the same age and suddenly noticed i look much older and am being treated like an olde person. What's up with that?
@@wawaranch1481
Hormonal changes
Doctor is so naturally beautiful
finally a problem i will never have
When I think of a beautifully aging actress in Hollywood, I think of Andie macdowell. Just exudes beauty. People need to stop trying to be young their whole life!
Jamie Lee Curtis too
Helen Mirren
Aging is tougher on very beautiful people. Makes sense!
I love women who let the natural beauty show. Lines and wrinkles show maturity and do not in any way detract from your beauty.
Yep. I have seen so many old women that I thought were beautiful. People are just conditioned to believe old = ugly. We have a youth obsessed culture. It's sad.
And we love you Paul!
I think or hope once you hit 60 that you come to terms with it all and then yes women are beautiful but the age 45-55 age range is rough. I looked 18 till I turned 35 and still looked way younger ans now at 48 I look 35 but I can see changes happening fast and well I just want to get to an age where its not some i between point that is very rough.
Thank you thank you thank for saying this!!! This is sooo true !!! When I was about 40, I have great skin, a friend told me that we should get Botox and fillings because it would prevent us from aging faster. So we went to a dermatologist and after five days when the b Botox started setting in one of my children told me please mom take away what you did to your face every time you look at me you scare me!!!! Since then I decided to gracefully!!!! Now that I see photos of myself back when, I asked myself what the hell were you thinking!!! I am 60 now and I really embrace and love my wrinkles!!! my skin is still great but I guess that's genetic. Thank you again
So many of us needed to hear this!
Thank you!
“it's so much better to look older than to look weird” damn a lot of people need to hear this
Yes, thank you for sharing this! Societal pressures to always look stunning are creating unrealistic expectations and it’s ridiculous.
They only care cause that's usually the ONLY thing they got going for themselves. Personality and empathy is important ladies.
As a man, i can confirm that women aging makes them hotter. Like fine wine. Men who have a problem with it, aren't actually attracted to women. 🤷
Thanks ❤🎉
Sure, that might be true when the women is 30, 40, maybe even 50, but when she’s 60, you’re going to start dating younger women.
@@valsolomonwhat an assumption to make. Please don't generalize men like that
@DieKleineMimose You are naive. We have had evidence of this behaviour throughout the ages
And should probably be on a list…
I aged prematurely in a span of 3 years due to multiple autoimmune issues.
I’m told I was a 10, but I always felt more like an 8. 😂 But, that only made it more traumatic when folks thought I was my kiddo’s grandma at 37. 😢
I went from like an 8 to a 5 in a span of 3 years. I now used a cane was very overweight at one point, and then got dangerously skinny all of a sudden and even got a turkey neck. It was a rough time.
Then, I got over it. Cause “no use crying over spilled milk.” At least not forever. Once my mind was more at ease, I began feeling like my old self again. Now, I feel like at least a 7 and improving. Self love is it, ladies. That felt bad, but I kept my confidence in check. When we’ve been over confident our whole lives, it hits us a bit harder cause we never felt those things before. But, our bodies are but our shell.❤😊
And the fact that those who get tons of procedures on their face sometimes even look older than those who never get procedures!
I have observed exactly this! I am a 5 on a really good day and as such have never had my beauty define me. In general, the more beautiful one has been throughout life, the harder it is to accept their beauty fading as a natural process of aging.
Fellow 5 here, can confirm.
I cannot tell you how many times I, as a guy, have explained to a lady that she is beautiful, any lines or "imperfections" are in fact just part of her diary of life and make her more beautiful. Speaking as a middle-aged guy, I think most signs of aging just show a lady has lived .
Yep. Until their mid-30s, women are pretty, from the mid-30s, is when beauty starts. It's absolutely those little imperfections that make a person visually interesting.
@@angelsjoker8190 wow, I’ve never heard anyone explain it that way.
@@angelsjoker8190why aren’t there more likes for this comment? Thank you!🙏🏻
As healthy as that is that you feel that way, women who mess with their face (me included) don't think about men when we get stuff done to our face. We think about what we see in the mirror.
@@viceads18 Maybe you don't directly think about men, but indirectly as part of your environment, because it's the contact with your environment (men and women) which give you the reference points to create your internal beauty-standards.
Amen! There are so many actresses who could have aged beautifully if they only left well enough alone. Instead, they end up looking nearly unrecognizable.
Today is a great day for all of us mid girls! I'm just happy to be alive and getting the chance to enjoy it!
It affects men too. I'm in my 40s starting to see aging and quite fast too but find this helpful. Needs sharing.
I think we need to look at our diets first when it comes to skin aging. Wrinkles are crested by inflammation in the body . meaning what you eat affects the aging process,how fast you age and how your skin holds up. Sugar is the main culprit. Get rid if processed food and excess sugar. And your skin will look clearer in months. And also, get regular exercise....
And when they go overboard, they end up making themselves look older, not younger. 💁♀️
WOAH!!!
When I was young, I always wondered why it was the most GORGEOUS women that got all those cosmetic procedures!
Makes a ton of sense
40 years of marriage to a real L.A. 10 and I have told her natural beauty shines through. I would never want her to go through the pain of unnecessary surgery. So I tell her everyday she is gorgeous... let your girl know she is crushing it.
Aging with Grace is a beautiful thing.
Beautiful words of wisdom! No one wants to end up looking weird.
My grandma and my mom both aged naturally and were the most stunning women I’ve ever known in my life! Even in her 60s, grandma did glamor shots and looked like a model. Even when she passed at 80 she was stunning. Mom didn’t make it to 60 but her chronic health issues aged her quickly. And she was STILL the most stunning creature I’ve ever seen! My aunt is in her mid to late 50s and has had so much cosmetic intervention and she looks like a wax statue. She can’t even smile properly. It’s unnerving and I’ve witnessed her make small children cry because of it.
THANK YOU for saying this. This needs to be shared X a billion!
it is hard. one hits early 40 and it feels like something you had for granted is gone. never valued looks much until you feel you are losing them.
I love being a late bloomer 😬. People didn’t start telling me I’m pretty until around 30ish…I’m 37 now!
Ditto. Iv was cute in my teens, twenties, and early 30s, but in my mid 30-through 40s, I apparently became sexier. I was much more comfortable and happy... and got hit on my much younger men a lot.
I leaned into my flaws at an early age. It has served me well. It made me appreciate myself when others tried to bring me down. At my age, it’s all downhill, but I still have my self confidence while all the friends who valued only their youth are freaking out.
Oh my gosh…I feel this so much! I had premature menopause after chemo and radiation, which accelerated the aging a LOT. It’s hard to notice such a drastic change but I embrace it now. I’m grateful to be alive. I would love to look younger, but I’m fine as I am 😊
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Amen
Amen!
I would like to see all the doctors with the gift to be a doctor to help people in need for one instead off filling/cutting up people who need a shrink.
So true... I like signs of natural aging versus "weird"...I hope people listen....
Agree 100%. Just hit the gym or trails, and review your diet, sleep - I'm attracted to natural beauty any day of the week, admittedly speaking as a 50 year old guy.
I'm trying to live by these words myself. It's a harder road, but one yielding many benefits.
Diet and sleep are my issues. Fortunately genetics are on my side but at some point I'm going to be looking at my mom in the mirror. I give it 20 years.
That’s so wise! It’s better to look older than to look weird.
I started to feel this at 50. And just continued with my skincare. Never had ANY procedures. None. Now at 59, I started at home Micro current and RED LIGHT THERAPY.
yes but that causes loss of facial volume,its likw anything you do is going to cause undesirable side effects and in this case I think its worse
@@shadybabe0711 Which one? MICRO or LIGHT?
Would you say it’s working good for your skin?
@SweetestGyrl Yes...especially my nasal labial folds. They are much more shallow and my jowls have firmed up. Still working on my melasma though.
Honestly I look at my mom, she’s 50 and has never touched her face, one of my little cousins thought she was 30. Wear your sunscreen, drink water, get sleep, don’t stress too much and you’ll age gracefully.
Madonna and Courtney Cox! I called it dont hate me
They look scary!!
I can tell this woman knows what she’s taking about based on her face. She looks so naturally beautiful and youthful.
don’t believe for a second that shes not using botox etc but in a conservative amount
@@shadybabe0711 That’s the point... She’s gotten work done and still looks natural and youthful. Am I missing something!?
She is young 😅
@@shadybabe0711do you know that for sure? Are you her aesthetician?
“So much better to look older than to look weird.” YES!
Thank you for this! It needed to be said and heard. I luckily caught myself before I fell too far down the rabbit hole. I will keep up with good skincare, occasional professional facials (because I love them for relaxation lol), eating healthy and being happy in my skin (no pun intended lol). I see so many people going into debt for the newest cosmetic procedure and most of the time, I can’t tell the “before” picture from the “after.” 🤷🏻♀️ Then as you stated, the weird look comes around. I know someone who did PDO Threads to get “dimples.” It looks-weird! Her facial structure isn’t suited for “dimples.” It looks like two fingerprint smudges on her cheek. At 62, I’m proud of my age. Thanks to lifelong sunscreen and no smoking, it’s paying off with no forehead lines and just minor surface crow’s feet. That’ll change, and it’s ok! I’d rather take my natural looks over weird & fake any day. Love your channel! 🌹
The fact that she said “go hard in the paint” is why I subscribed. Also the message 😆 but yeah…
Waka flaka flame line
LITERALLY JUST COMMENTED THIS EXACT SAME THING BEFORE SCROLLING TO FIND YOUR COMMENT. idk what it is but she said it with conviction and I was like yeah! Let’s goooo!
She got me there, ngl. Made her a derm more of us need- actually encouraging healthy aging and learning how to evolve your look instead of become a weird surgery freakshow. Like...some celebs who looked fine now look like they have butts with how full their cheekbones are.
Same. And looked specifically for this comment to agree with it. 😂
A short message...but absolutely positively brilliant
This is the best thing I’ve ever heard a derm say! Thank you for being honest ❤
I’ve been happily a 7 or so my whole life and that seems to be extending into my 40’s. I’ve never had true beauty and the older I get, I shout it from the rooftops that being stunning when you’re young must be terribly painful as you age. Us people on the pleasant-looking but not beautiful side of things just get to keep on looking the same. I see now what a huge, wonderful gift it is.
that quote at the end "it's so much better to look older than to look weird" bc of too much cosmetic treatments. so true!
We need more people like you speaking out about this. Beyond important.
NO, it’s a relief not to have males staring at me all the time and women hating me just because I was gifted with beauty. I’m almost 60 and have never touched my face or body with any cosmetic procedures. I hardly wear makeup but have been blessed to still have a good body (thanks to surfing). I have aged skin from the sun, but I still get the older guys smiling at me. They seem to mellow after a certain age.
Thank you for this positive comment! Sometimes I worry if I’ll actually miss it when men stop asking me out randomly or catcall me on the streets. I’m glad to hear that you found it a relief because I think it will be but I won’t know until they finally stop
Omg lady, thank you so much. I hope this reaches, effit, even just one. Even young women are ruining themselves because they want some magical treatment to match their opinion..... Why do you want what you want ladies... And gentlemen..... Why do we want needs to be addressed.
Totally agree. I'm more like a 4 out of 10 😅, but for the gorgeous women out there, just age gracefully.
I looked at your profile....you are not a 4! I think you are positively adorable in every way! ❤
@@Sherry1992 you are too kind!
You look like a very adorable, sweet lady ma'am!! You are not a 4 at all!
How does the scale work? Is 5 "normally hot"? You ma'am look so kind and sweet. At least a 6
It’s also hard because in this social media environment we live in this perpetual youthful “culture” where most of unserious trolls will age shame you in lack of other insults as if they’ll be 15 forever…
But yeah to your point, it’s really hard to deal with this issue- to know that all heads turned over you or you got the attention once you entered a room and nowadays it’s like you’re invisible to others😢