Thank you for such a great advice. Yesterday I said something with completely different intention but my mother felt destroyed. I apologised over and over and said I love her ,and it was my fault , but it didn't help. But now I've got clear idea of how to apologise. I can't go back in time to take my words back but I can definitely try to make her feel better. I just hope she forgives me because I can't live without her.
Oh I know how hard that is! You had good intentions but sometimes other people east anyway. Trust that you can repair it over time with your behavior. Hang in there and gray job for being so willing to look at your part.
To me I was the mistake, I tolled her she doesn't trust me, it was out of impulse when I clearly know she does but I still said it and now i regret it deeply
I hurt a guys' feelings, (my now, former neighbour), last year. It's too late now to rectify this ! He moved out, late last year. He went 'no contact' on me, after I offended him, 18 months ago. I still feel guilt, shame & regret over this. He ignores me now, if he sees me around town. If I had to live the past, all over, I would never have said this hateful remark to him, to offend him. ☹️
@@alisonb5921 Lets be hopeful and careful ...a lesson learnt. And sometime when we are hurt may be we will be understanding of their remorse. 2nd chances are rare these days.
@@raykalita3928 I still hope he may realise I tried hard to 'apologise' to him, with my approaching him & my notes, to him. However, after these notes. He sent this 'he wants 'no contact' text to me, made me realise there is no chance left .Maybe, one day he may talk to me, again & tell me he "took your comment too personally". We live in the same small town. I think he moved not too far from where I still live? 'Miracles do happen'. I 'm still hoping for a 'miracle', to relieve my guilt & shame. ☹️
I’ve hurt one of my close friends by admitting that I considered dropping her. And I feel deep regret because I’m afraid that my emotional outbursts, like this, are gradually hurting our friendship more. But truthfully, she’s one friend that I don’t want to let go of. I really value her presence in my life. I’m just ashamed because she’s always been faithful with our friendship, unlike me who questioned it and said those things out of my annoyance. I’ve also talked about things she’d done that had bothered me, in the past, to other friends. And during those times, I’ve had a guilty conscience that I was speaking badly of her; when all of this could’ve been resolved if I communicated with her first of the things she’s done that upset me or made me question her truthfulness. And it made me realize that I was always in the wrong for overreacting with certain situations and just blurting out cruel things, amidst the moment. I really fail to have control over this issue until I later realize how much my words have hurt the people I care for, as a consequence. I just wish to repair our friendship, to apologize properly, to let her know that she really is a good friend. I’m most worried about her refraining her true authentic self into our friendship now. Her being afraid to be herself because she thinks it may upset me. I don’t know what I can do. And partially, I blame myself the most for being the toxic one and projecting it into others whenever I’m upset. It’s ruined my relationships with others and is making me wonder if I should just be alone myself so that I won’t continue breaking good friendships because of my impulsive toxicity. I really wish I could apologize to her a thousand times; though right now, she needs her space to be alone as she’s hurt by the things I’ve said. But this anxiety that our friendship is ruined and changed for the worse is rushing over me, I really don’t know what to do. If we can’t be friends then I wish for her to realize that she’s done no wrong to me; but rather I failed to be the good friend for doubting her.
Yeah I agree if she needs space it’s better to wait. I love that you want to make it right and at some point you can ask that or take this time to fully examine what you could have said or done that she reacted to.
Love this Michelle. I hate that feeling of even wondering "if" you did or didn't hurt their feelings as well. Love your videos. They always are spot on!!
This happens more than I would like to admit. I have a form of high-functioning autism that used to be called Asperger's syndrome. I always want to be nice and kind and I like to joke around, sometimes I make jokes that I didn't know aren't nice. I've been told I kind of overcorrect with tearful apologies, but it's the worst feeling in the world knowing that I somehow did something to make someone's day worse. I can be really immature for my age (I'm 23). Hi! It's nice to meet you, my name is Ankhara!
😬 yikes that was difficult to hear. Thanks for sharing how you handled it. I like how you explained how you handled it without allowing feelings of shame take over.
People are so bothered by things I say so often. I could say the same thing as someone else and they'll take it the wrong way when I say it. I don't know if it's because I'm so quiet so when I do speak maybe my words hold more value. It's so annoying. I know it's a first world problem but it's irritating.
It can be tough when others react but if you keep getting the same reactions, there might be some valuable feedback to look at. That’s what I do whenever I get the same feedback more than once. It gets my attention. Just a thought 😀 thanks for watching.
I tried to apologise to him, but he'd just ignore me & walk away from me. I left notes, to apologise. He threw these back onto my patio, with no replies. I finally realised it was too late ! I said, what I said, he's staying offended. So I kept to myself, after this. I was relieved when he moved out. It relieved some of my guilt, when I knew I'd hardly see him, anymore !😐
I'm pretty certain that 'feelings' and thoughts are the same things. Nevertheless, it's great that you've taken time and effort to address this issue in such a well-presented and articulate manner. Your heart is clearly in the right place; a place that absolutely no 'feelings' are stored. They're all in the brain.
I’m a co-dependent & I intentionally did something to hurt the person I loved as a cry for attention. I had a psychotic moment? Craving attention & affection?? I’m not sure why I did it but at the time I felt emotionally numb, and for several days afterwards. And then when I realized I had totally lost the person & that I deserved to lose them because of what I did, that’s when I finally started feeling emotions and they were/are horrible. I just ended a relationship because my codependent nature caused my expectations to be unreasonable & needy, which led me to make the poor decision of lashing out & truly hurting the person I love in a way that cannot be undone. How do I forgive myself? I caused them extreme pain & also hurt myself in the process.
I used to play online games and was soo addicted, when this happens, hobe of my friendn he lives so far away, he was in need of me, but what I was doing hlwas just gaming all day, and he is depressed he is trying to take his life away, i wanna fix it so badly, but i feel like I am not worthy of forgiveness 🥺
You are worthy of forgiveness. That’s waist addiction does - it makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do. It takes courage to face it - be gently with yourself
I have hurt the one I love by saying he was indisicive I sent him message instead of friend now he doesn’t want to talk to me I suppose he dump me now I have no one it my fault 5:075:085:125:135:13
I recently Hurt someone by saying something very hurtful. This destroyed her. And was feeling extremely guilty and depressed and out of this guilt and frustration felt miserable and hurt her again and immediately repented. This is continuing. Is there any serious psychological problem with me 😢😢
You could ask her - sometimes that is the easiest way. Say something like, I wonder if I did something to hurt your feelings - that wasn't my intention but I'd like to fix it if possible. Something like that :)
I feel like I hurt I a girls feeling who I liked when we were poking fun at eachother with a couple of friends, and she was mad because of the way I worded said thing, I apologized many times but she wasn’t taking it, I felt like shit and I felt hurt because I said something in a way I didn’t mean to when I was just poking fun I feel like I lost all chances with her, it feels like she was the only girl who gave me attention and more than likely even liked me for a while but I dropped the ball so hard numerous times and I just feel like I’ve completely failed with this, I was with some friends when this happened and it was clear she was upset by it by walking away with her friend and coming back later on, even being confronted by another one of her male friends who was cool btw and while he was super cool with it he just told me “I can’t say that to a girl” “why did you say that” I feel like I’ve hurt someone I’ve cared so deeply for who felt like she was the only girl who cared about me, however when I’ve been poked fun at by her friends they’ve struck so many personal nerves with me, and I’ve just been swallowing them and dealing with it’s hurtful news. But I get so shitty for this in so many different ways when I said “said thing” to her on accident because I was being goated on, I said “I’d be right back” in reality I went to the bathroom so I can cry in peace in the bathroom stall like a man, I was breaking down as silent as I could because I felt like the people around me that came with her hurt me emotionally so many times, but the second I’ve said something personally offensive to her on accident because I was goated on she gets upset with me and it hurts me to do that to her for so many reasons. I basically feel like I’m a failure on my mission to get a girl who loves me and who I can love back. I want love so bad as a highschool junior but I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m so anxious but still so sad and disappointed in myself I feel like I’ve made endless mistakes, I got so close to getting intimate with that girl at some point too, I just can’t figure out what’s wrong with me or if it’s with others, I’ve gone through my life just so lost and confused, I just need help. Sorry if a lot of this doesn’t make sense
Please know that everyone makes mistakes and you are willing to learn which says a LOT about you and your willingness to grow. Don't beat yourself up, you sounded like you tried to be accountable but she still said no - that happens sometimes but you can take this lesson and use it to improve yourself. Be gentle on yourself - you deserve it!
So I accidentally hurt someone today physically and everyone thinks that it was on purpose and not. So when you said to own up to it and say you did do it I thought this couldn’t work because then everyone would think I wanted to do it. I can’t share many details but the person was bleeding. I felt rely bad and sick to my stomach I don’t know what to do. I was going to give them something to say sorry because of what I did but don’t know if that’s the right way. They seem to be fine with it and forgiving to me but I still feel bad. Is there anything I can do?
I love that you want to be accountable. Be kind to yourself! We all make mistakes but few are willing to own it. I have a video on How to Make Amends - it’s under my Conflict Resolution playlist. That will help. Please know that I am cheering you on!
thank you so much for this. seriously. i really hurt my ex partner a few days ago by being to literal in response to him asking why i liked him . whenever i meet someone i rly like, or even just friends, i have a really hard time remaining objective about why i like them (like “sure his voice is nice, but does he really respect me as a person? does he get my humor and is fun to be around?” type of stuff) so i picked up the habit of having a typed out checklist of things i run people through to see exactly why i like them if i do or if they really are as good as my heart makes them out to be. i'm non-monogamous and i do this with all of my partners, so when he asked (1) why i ever liked him in the first place and (2) what made him "special" in comparison to everyone else i talk to romantically, i immediately thought of the checklist because it was the most comprehensive and objective way to point out "hey! this is why i love you as my primary partner because " x y and z. i did this not realizing that he'd really hone in on the few things that instead of getting a ✅✅✅ for he got a ✅✅ or ✅ for. i never saw him as perfect because i never see anyone as perfect; i actively try not the do that because of my natural inclination to idealize has put me in a lot of fucked up and traumatic situations. i try to be incredibly honest, and up until this point in my life I've almost always been around people of that same caliber; these are the same sorts of people that, if they were the ones to receive a "checklist" about them, they wouldn't at all take it personally if they got even more ✅✅s or ✅s than he did. i'd be more elated to know the nitty gritty of how someone sees me than to hear "oh i dont know i just really like your vibes!" but that doesn't excuse what i did at all. admittedly, the relationship had only truly lasted for a week at that point, but i knew him for about 4 weeks and, though that's still short, i feel like i should've been more conscious of HIS emotional needs and limits specifically. i can never say for sure, and this very well might not be true, but i feel like if i really sat down and thought if it was a good idea to send into him before i did, i wouldn't have because of his history. i fucked up bc i didn’t take into account just how insecure he was, and that's nothing to blame him for. i was ready and willing to accommodate for that in our relationship. it hurt him, and that’s all that matters to make me feel like a shitty person for it. we haven't talked in days and I've been declining rapidly, so i could only imagine how he feels. the absolute last thing i could've wanted in this world is to have him hurt, much less him be hurt by my hand. i feel like its too fresh to reach back out to him for. i just told him i'll be there for him. even if we dont reconvene, i just really reallyy hope he doesn't think i meant it in any way malisciously; we are just very different in a way i didn't know until after this incident and i got too comfortable. as wrong and invalidating as it is of my own experiences and mental health strategies, i feel like a psychopath that got away with this for too long for even thinking it was a good idea... i feel terrible.
Is there somewhere direct where I can message you on my issue. I hurt my girlfriend's feelings and I don't even know where to go from there other than I'm trying my best to tell her sorry
I'm sorry I can't give advice in a message - without my knowing all the details (and that happens in therapy)I oculd do more harm than good. Sorry. I wish I do more
In that case I would really try to trace it back to when things changed - think of anything they could have taken the wrong way or a difficult topic discussed. If you’re pretty sure you hurt their feelings ( even if you didn’t mean to ) you could apologize and say something like - I have a feeling I may have hurt you and even though I’m not sure what I did - I want you to know that I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention. Something open-ended like that.
This will take awhile. I honestly don’t know; this hit me out of the blue. I will keep trying to reach out, just so they know I DO want to understand what has happened. Because I truly do. Thank you for your very prompt feedback!
Thank you for such a great advice. Yesterday I said something with completely different intention but my mother felt destroyed. I apologised over and over and said I love her ,and it was my fault , but it didn't help.
But now I've got clear idea of how to apologise. I can't go back in time to take my words back but I can definitely try to make her feel better. I just hope she forgives me because I can't live without her.
Oh I know how hard that is! You had good intentions but sometimes other people east anyway. Trust that you can repair it over time with your behavior. Hang in there and gray job for being so willing to look at your part.
To me I was the mistake, I tolled her she doesn't trust me, it was out of impulse when I clearly know she does but I still said it and now i regret it deeply
I just did a video on making amends - this might help ua-cam.com/video/KtxgDleb1Nk/v-deo.html
its excruciatingly painful to hurt sm1 close unintentionally due to our own insecurities....i hope she can forgive me
I hope so too - thanks for watching!
I hurt a guys' feelings, (my now, former neighbour), last year. It's too late now to rectify this ! He moved out, late last year. He went 'no contact' on me, after I offended him, 18 months ago. I still feel guilt, shame & regret over this. He ignores me now, if he sees me around town. If I had to live the past, all over, I would never have said this hateful remark to him, to offend him. ☹️
@@alisonb5921 Lets be hopeful and careful ...a lesson learnt. And sometime when we are hurt may be we will be understanding of their remorse. 2nd chances are rare these days.
@@alisonb5921 That accountability says a lot about YOU Alison. That trait will help you have healthier relationships in the future.
@@raykalita3928 I still hope he may realise I tried hard to 'apologise' to him, with my approaching him & my notes, to him. However, after these notes. He sent this 'he wants 'no contact' text to me, made me realise there is no chance left .Maybe, one day he may talk to me, again & tell me he "took your comment too personally". We live in the same small town. I think he moved not too far from where I still live? 'Miracles do happen'. I 'm still hoping for a 'miracle', to relieve my guilt & shame. ☹️
I’ve hurt one of my close friends by admitting that I considered dropping her. And I feel deep regret because I’m afraid that my emotional outbursts, like this, are gradually hurting our friendship more. But truthfully, she’s one friend that I don’t want to let go of. I really value her presence in my life.
I’m just ashamed because she’s always been faithful with our friendship, unlike me who questioned it and said those things out of my annoyance. I’ve also talked about things she’d done that had bothered me, in the past, to other friends. And during those times, I’ve had a guilty conscience that I was speaking badly of her; when all of this could’ve been resolved if I communicated with her first of the things she’s done that upset me or made me question her truthfulness.
And it made me realize that I was always in the wrong for overreacting with certain situations and just blurting out cruel things, amidst the moment. I really fail to have control over this issue until I later realize how much my words have hurt the people I care for, as a consequence. I just wish to repair our friendship, to apologize properly, to let her know that she really is a good friend. I’m most worried about her refraining her true authentic self into our friendship now. Her being afraid to be herself because she thinks it may upset me. I don’t know what I can do. And partially, I blame myself the most for being the toxic one and projecting it into others whenever I’m upset. It’s ruined my relationships with others and is making me wonder if I should just be alone myself so that I won’t continue breaking good friendships because of my impulsive toxicity.
I really wish I could apologize to her a thousand times; though right now, she needs her space to be alone as she’s hurt by the things I’ve said. But this anxiety that our friendship is ruined and changed for the worse is rushing over me, I really don’t know what to do.
If we can’t be friends then I wish for her to realize that she’s done no wrong to me; but rather I failed to be the good friend for doubting her.
Yeah I agree if she needs space it’s better to wait. I love that you want to make it right and at some point you can ask that or take this time to fully examine what you could have said or done that she reacted to.
Love this Michelle. I hate that feeling of even wondering "if" you did or didn't hurt their feelings as well. Love your videos. They always are spot on!!
Thanks so much for watching! OMG your dog is super cute!!!
This happens more than I would like to admit. I have a form of high-functioning autism that used to be called Asperger's syndrome. I always want to be nice and kind and I like to joke around, sometimes I make jokes that I didn't know aren't nice. I've been told I kind of overcorrect with tearful apologies, but it's the worst feeling in the world knowing that I somehow did something to make someone's day worse. I can be really immature for my age (I'm 23). Hi! It's nice to meet you, my name is Ankhara!
Hi Ankhara! So glad you found me. I hope you find my videos helpful.
😬 yikes that was difficult to hear. Thanks for sharing how you handled it. I like how you explained how you handled it without allowing feelings of shame take over.
Yeah this is not easy stuff for sure but it’s worth doing - thanks Kim!
People are so bothered by things I say so often. I could say the same thing as someone else and they'll take it the wrong way when I say it. I don't know if it's because I'm so quiet so when I do speak maybe my words hold more value. It's so annoying. I know it's a first world problem but it's irritating.
It can be tough when others react but if you keep getting the same reactions, there might be some valuable feedback to look at. That’s what I do whenever I get the same feedback more than once. It gets my attention. Just a thought 😀 thanks for watching.
Your videos are such a gift ❤ thank you
@@allisonbitetto7337 thank you! I’m so glad you found me. I have lots of free guides too if you want more. 🤗
I tried to apologise to him, but he'd just ignore me & walk away from me. I left notes, to apologise. He threw these back onto my patio, with no replies. I finally realised it was too late ! I said, what I said, he's staying offended. So I kept to myself, after this. I was relieved when he moved out. It relieved some of my guilt, when I knew I'd hardly see him, anymore !😐
Thanks for watching Alison, yeah sometimes that the amends won't be accepted but all you can do is to make sure you deliver it without blame.
I'm pretty certain that 'feelings' and thoughts are the same things. Nevertheless, it's great that you've taken time and effort to address this issue in such a well-presented and articulate manner.
Your heart is clearly in the right place; a place that absolutely no 'feelings' are stored. They're all in the brain.
Thank you Phil, I'm so grateful for the feedback :)
I’m a co-dependent & I intentionally did something to hurt the person I loved as a cry for attention. I had a psychotic moment? Craving attention & affection?? I’m not sure why I did it but at the time I felt emotionally numb, and for several days afterwards. And then when I realized I had totally lost the person & that I deserved to lose them because of what I did, that’s when I finally started feeling emotions and they were/are horrible. I just ended a relationship because my codependent nature caused my expectations to be unreasonable & needy, which led me to make the poor decision of lashing out & truly hurting the person I love in a way that cannot be undone. How do I forgive myself? I caused them extreme pain & also hurt myself in the process.
My next video coming out tomorrow is on regrets.
I used to play online games and was soo addicted, when this happens, hobe of my friendn he lives so far away, he was in need of me, but what I was doing hlwas just gaming all day, and he is depressed he is trying to take his life away, i wanna fix it so badly, but i feel like I am not worthy of forgiveness 🥺
You are worthy of forgiveness. That’s waist addiction does - it makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do. It takes courage to face it - be gently with yourself
@@MichelleFarrismft yes I will beg for my forgiveness from him, I wish him to do good in life and and a good life along with good health, ❣️❣️
@@aryanisnotlazy I hope it works out for you both.
I have hurt the one I love by saying he was indisicive I sent him message instead of friend now he doesn’t want to talk to me I suppose he dump me now I have no one it my fault 5:07 5:08 5:12 5:13 5:13
Hang in there…thanks for watching!
When some other people hurt your feelings but you are afraid to confront them. What we should do in that situation.
If you are afraid to confront them, ask yourself why. You probably know the answer. If the fear is real, then you likely don't feel safe.
I recently Hurt someone by saying something very hurtful. This destroyed her. And was feeling extremely guilty and depressed and out of this guilt and frustration felt miserable and hurt her again and immediately repented. This is continuing. Is there any serious psychological problem with me 😢😢
It's good sign that you regret what you said. I have another video on making amends you might find helpful.ua-cam.com/video/w2vPS5StjUo/v-deo.html
I think I hurt a girl's feelings that I really like by being friendly with a another person at work that hates her and I don't know how to fix it
You could ask her - sometimes that is the easiest way. Say something like, I wonder if I did something to hurt your feelings - that wasn't my intention but I'd like to fix it if possible. Something like that :)
@@MichelleFarrismft I'll try that thanks
@@coladecker3792 good luck!
I feel like I hurt I a girls feeling who I liked when we were poking fun at eachother with a couple of friends, and she was mad because of the way I worded said thing, I apologized many times but she wasn’t taking it, I felt like shit and I felt hurt because I said something in a way I didn’t mean to when I was just poking fun I feel like I lost all chances with her, it feels like she was the only girl who gave me attention and more than likely even liked me for a while but I dropped the ball so hard numerous times and I just feel like I’ve completely failed with this, I was with some friends when this happened and it was clear she was upset by it by walking away with her friend and coming back later on, even being confronted by another one of her male friends who was cool btw and while he was super cool with it he just told me “I can’t say that to a girl” “why did you say that” I feel like I’ve hurt someone I’ve cared so deeply for who felt like she was the only girl who cared about me, however when I’ve been poked fun at by her friends they’ve struck so many personal nerves with me, and I’ve just been swallowing them and dealing with it’s hurtful news. But I get so shitty for this in so many different ways when I said “said thing” to her on accident because I was being goated on, I said “I’d be right back” in reality I went to the bathroom so I can cry in peace in the bathroom stall like a man, I was breaking down as silent as I could because I felt like the people around me that came with her hurt me emotionally so many times, but the second I’ve said something personally offensive to her on accident because I was goated on she gets upset with me and it hurts me to do that to her for so many reasons. I basically feel like I’m a failure on my mission to get a girl who loves me and who I can love back. I want love so bad as a highschool junior but I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m so anxious but still so sad and disappointed in myself I feel like I’ve made endless mistakes, I got so close to getting intimate with that girl at some point too, I just can’t figure out what’s wrong with me or if it’s with others, I’ve gone through my life just so lost and confused, I just need help. Sorry if a lot of this doesn’t make sense
Please know that everyone makes mistakes and you are willing to learn which says a LOT about you and your willingness to grow. Don't beat yourself up, you sounded like you tried to be accountable but she still said no - that happens sometimes but you can take this lesson and use it to improve yourself. Be gentle on yourself - you deserve it!
@@MichelleFarrismft thank you
@@saiyandemon8236 you’re welcome!
So I accidentally hurt someone today physically and everyone thinks that it was on purpose and not. So when you said to own up to it and say you did do it I thought this couldn’t work because then everyone would think I wanted to do it. I can’t share many details but the person was bleeding. I felt rely bad and sick to my stomach I don’t know what to do. I was going to give them something to say sorry because of what I did but don’t know if that’s the right way. They seem to be fine with it and forgiving to me but I still feel bad. Is there anything I can do?
I love that you want to be accountable. Be kind to yourself! We all make mistakes but few are willing to own it. I have a video on How to Make Amends - it’s under my Conflict Resolution playlist. That will help. Please know that I am cheering you on!
Thank you!
@@demo0616 you are very welcome! Sometimes the work is more about acknowledging then forgiving ourselves.
thank you so much for this. seriously. i really hurt my ex partner a few days ago by being to literal in response to him asking why i liked him . whenever i meet someone i rly like, or even just friends, i have a really hard time remaining objective about why i like them (like “sure his voice is nice, but does he really respect me as a person? does he get my humor and is fun to be around?” type of stuff) so i picked up the habit of having a typed out checklist of things i run people through to see exactly why i like them if i do or if they really are as good as my heart makes them out to be. i'm non-monogamous and i do this with all of my partners, so when he asked (1) why i ever liked him in the first place and (2) what made him "special" in comparison to everyone else i talk to romantically, i immediately thought of the checklist because it was the most comprehensive and objective way to point out "hey! this is why i love you as my primary partner because " x y and z.
i did this not realizing that he'd really hone in on the few things that instead of getting a ✅✅✅ for he got a ✅✅ or ✅ for.
i never saw him as perfect because i never see anyone as perfect; i actively try not the do that because of my natural inclination to idealize has put me in a lot of fucked up and traumatic situations. i try to be incredibly honest, and up until this point in my life I've almost always been around people of that same caliber; these are the same sorts of people that, if they were the ones to receive a "checklist" about them, they wouldn't at all take it personally if they got even more ✅✅s or ✅s than he did. i'd be more elated to know the nitty gritty of how someone sees me than to hear "oh i dont know i just really like your vibes!"
but that doesn't excuse what i did at all. admittedly, the relationship had only truly lasted for a week at that point, but i knew him for about 4 weeks and, though that's still short, i feel like i should've been more conscious of HIS emotional needs and limits specifically. i can never say for sure, and this very well might not be true, but i feel like if i really sat down and thought if it was a good idea to send into him before i did, i wouldn't have because of his history. i fucked up bc i didn’t take into account just how insecure he was, and that's nothing to blame him for. i was ready and willing to accommodate for that in our relationship. it hurt him, and that’s all that matters to make me feel like a shitty person for it.
we haven't talked in days and I've been declining rapidly, so i could only imagine how he feels. the absolute last thing i could've wanted in this world is to have him hurt, much less him be hurt by my hand. i feel like its too fresh to reach back out to him for. i just told him i'll be there for him. even if we dont reconvene, i just really reallyy hope he doesn't think i meant it in any way malisciously; we are just very different in a way i didn't know until after this incident and i got too comfortable. as wrong and invalidating as it is of my own experiences and mental health strategies, i feel like a psychopath that got away with this for too long for even thinking it was a good idea... i feel terrible.
You're very welcome! I hope you come back for future videos.
Is there somewhere direct where I can message you on my issue. I hurt my girlfriend's feelings and I don't even know where to go from there other than I'm trying my best to tell her sorry
I'm sorry I can't give advice in a message - without my knowing all the details (and that happens in therapy)I oculd do more harm than good. Sorry. I wish I do more
What do you do when you don’t know what you did, and they won’t talk to you at all?
In that case I would really try to trace it back to when things changed - think of anything they could have taken the wrong way or a difficult topic discussed. If you’re pretty sure you hurt their feelings ( even if you didn’t mean to ) you could apologize and say something like - I have a feeling I may have hurt you and even though I’m not sure what I did - I want you to know that I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention. Something open-ended like that.
This will take awhile. I honestly don’t know; this hit me out of the blue. I will keep trying to reach out, just so they know I DO want to understand what has happened. Because I truly do. Thank you for your very prompt feedback!
@@rhondamelancon3676 sure, yeah sometimes we just have to hurry up and wait. But hopefully they will come back when they are ready.
I’m afraid to even open the subject
Yeah I understand that - it's hard to take that risk but maybe look for an opportunity - timing is everything in these situations. :)