Overcoming Autogynephilia | with Andrius

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 5 лис 2024
  • Beginning at puberty, Andrius was enthralled by a persistent desire to become a woman (otherwise known as "autogynephilia": the love of oneself as a woman). These feelings persisted and increased until his late 20's, where a series of spiritual, intellectual, and social events set him on a path of resolving his desires and bringing him into harmony with his male body and masculine identity.
    Part of a series: bit.ly/DeTrans...
    Works cited:
    Men Trapped in Men's Bodies - Anne Lawrence (2013)
    Male Sexuality - Michael Bader (2008)
    Leadership and Self-Deception - Arbinger Institute (2000)
    Further inquiries for Andrius: clarity.river@gmail.com
    Support this channel: www.paypal.me/...
    Find all interviews on spotify: spoti.fi/3px5WnK
    / benjaminboyce
    Join me on alternative video sites:
    odysee.com/@Be...
    www.bitchute.c...
    And on Twitter @BenjaminABoyce

КОМЕНТАРІ • 474

  • @imagerydivine1554
    @imagerydivine1554 2 роки тому +111

    I don't even know how it feels like to be a woman. I am an individual, born in a female body and I know how it feels to have the body of a woman.

    • @alexlilly6641
      @alexlilly6641 2 роки тому +37

      That’s just it… You ARE.
      People nowadays say they “feel” like a woman… not understanding that’s a completely multidimensional existential question for those born as such.
      It makes me think sometimes.. “How dare you say something something so arrogant as to say you ‘understand’ something that even born females will contemplate all their lives?”
      The audacity and the gall, to come from outside the experience, and denote complete understanding.
      The same could be said of men, as I myself, still quandar at my own existence.
      If a white man claimed to understand the experience of a black man the same group would erupt with anger over “appropriation” and the idea that “you will ever understand his lived experience.”
      Yet we move to gender… something more basic than race, and suddenly it’s easier to accept?”
      We are mysteries to ourselves in our given bodies and someone claims to have solved that mystery from outside our experience when it is existentially confounding to us?
      The audacity makes me feel embarrassed FOR them.
      Understand YOU from your current standpoint, and then….?
      Don’t worry about
      “and then.”
      That’s a lifetime of work already.
      Much love to you statement for its pure truth.
      Seekers of truth discover “humility” is the respectful position. 👊🏼❤️👍🏼

    • @brendadarling7743
      @brendadarling7743 2 роки тому +4

      @@alexlilly6641 perfect explanation imo

    • @Lisboooa
      @Lisboooa 2 роки тому +16

      @@alexlilly6641 born woman. I do not contemplate what being a woman is. Like I don’t contemplate what a leg or a lung is. I know it’s “faking” hard and doesn’t get easier with age. People “contemplate” too much these days…

    • @stopthephilosophicalzombie9017
      @stopthephilosophicalzombie9017 2 роки тому +3

      That's how we know gender identity is nonsense.

    • @LoliLikesPedobear
      @LoliLikesPedobear 2 роки тому +5

      Same. Dunno how it feels to be a woman, but I overcame extreme stress and disgust from female bodily functions (very painful and difficult to manage in my case) and figured I don’t need dresses, stilettos and makeup I had no knack for either. Happy with myself in t-shirts, hoodies and joggers, can dress pretty for an occasion though. But whereas I got bodyshamed and only physically beaten in early school years, non-conforming guys are at risk of physical violence. Maybe that’s why many want to escape it

  • @jennytr5056
    @jennytr5056 2 роки тому +67

    I see a couple of comments about Andrius' anime avatar. The character is from a classic children's movie called "Spirited Away," which both of my kids love (and I do too). The character is Haku, a shapeshifting dragon, who is a slave to Yu Baba, a tyrannical female "Baba Yaga" -type figure. At the climax of the movie, Haku discovers his true identity. He is a river spirit ("Clarity River," indeed!). And this discovery frees him. Considering this classic movie in the context of Andrius' story makes me appreciate it even more.

    • @eLurkr
      @eLurkr Рік тому +8

      people forget that fiction sometimes captures reality better than the reality itself, and also there is such a thing as 'keeping a healthy distance' when on the internet...

  • @gregorschoner9682
    @gregorschoner9682 2 роки тому +58

    Dear Benjamin, you are rightly proud of this conversation. This might have been the best I ever heard, intellectually clear, well thought out views, well articulated, while still being very much in touch with the human, emotional, personal, intimate side of all this. Outstanding, singular...

    • @clairehann2681
      @clairehann2681 2 роки тому +5

      I agree, it is an impressive account

  • @delcysteffy5896
    @delcysteffy5896 2 роки тому +94

    Yes Ben! Third option where men make space for men who feel this way. The burden of this should not be born by women.

    • @hellyeah_ellajane
      @hellyeah_ellajane 2 роки тому +22

      Yes! This would be ideal. AND achievable without causing harm to anyone.

    • @sharifsalem
      @sharifsalem 2 роки тому +25

      And rejected by ALL trans activists. Most of these AGP men are looking for external validation as women, not accommodation.

    • @delcysteffy5896
      @delcysteffy5896 2 роки тому +17

      @@sharifsalem I know. That's why it's so important that all of us continue to bring that up as a solution.. So we can call b******* on it when they reject it for no reason. Most people don't realize that men's prisons have special units for gay and trans prisoners to keep them safe.

    • @tubester4567
      @tubester4567 2 роки тому +1

      Yet it was women who originally pushed this idea that women are the same as men, and all males spaces should be closed or forced to accept women, like boy scouts, male schools, and various male organisations. All the mainstream feminist groups support trans ideology, and they have been for years, Feminists and LGBT are the 2 main groups pushing trans ideology, and they laid the foundation of wokeness and cancel culture to facilitate it.
      Then theres the demonization of males and masculinity over the last 50 years by feminists and the media. Seems to me like women created this mess.

    • @sharifsalem
      @sharifsalem 2 роки тому +8

      @@tubester4567 male centred “feminism” is only feminism is the same sense that the Democratic Republic of North Korea is “democratic”.

  • @allyourbase888
    @allyourbase888 2 роки тому +55

    Here to calmpliment Ben and his calmrades.

  • @jameshopkins21
    @jameshopkins21 Рік тому +34

    I feel that I have struggled with the same condition and feelings Andrius describes here that many call autogynephilia. I am a 73 year old retired general surgeon from a deeply Christian background. I have tried to overcome intense feelings of autogynephilia since 2002--20 years. I have consulted with PhD clinical psychologists, psychiatrists, sexologists, Tri-Ess, and other cross-dresser trans support groups with no success. I was exposed to DES and developed hypogonadism. I was treated with testosterone but could not tolerate it because I developed abnormally high amounts or red cells in my blood (elevated hematocrit) up to 60% which was potentially life threatening. I was prescribed estradiol, which was also low, to help improve my alertness and some osteoporosis related back problems. The estradiol helped and made me feel better. I tried thinking about what Andrius suggested: "Celebrate yourself, and be kind to yourself." Within four days my desires to dress, look like, and imagine myself being a woman COMPLETELY left me! For the first time in twenty years I have felt free of these urges/needs. I have not cross-dressed since November 12 and have easily controlled or eliminated those urges by thinking these thoughts! It amazes me that something this positive and simple could be so effective. I am deeply grateful to you and Andrius for sharing this podcast and this advice with the general public. I hardily endorse his recommendations. Autogynephilia is a huge problem to many men including myself. Here is a solution that really worked for me!!!

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +2

      Why is AG a problem ?

    • @filmovigledanje1877
      @filmovigledanje1877 Рік тому

      Can you elaborate on estradiol therapy? Who prescribed your therapy (endocrinologist)? Did you measure the level of sex hormones before that? Thank you in advance.

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому

      @@filmovigledanje1877 Why are you interested ? You are not trans, you are normal...

    • @filmovigledanje1877
      @filmovigledanje1877 Рік тому +1

      @@fatoumata7624 You are trans. You are at peace with yourself. What do you care what "normal" is interested in? Just wait.....

    • @jameshopkins21
      @jameshopkins21 Рік тому +10

      @@fatoumata7624 It makes getting married and staying married very difficult. If you are heterosexual as most AGs are, becoming attractive to gay males can be a problem. Many employers have problems with having their male employees turning into females that often don’t pass very well. Lesbians don’t see them as females and heterosexual females are not attracted to female looking males. The temptation to undergo gender affirming surgery can lead to castration which leads to hypogonadism, weakness, and sometimes deep regret. Valued community relationships can be negatively affected. Some may feel good about all this,

  • @mickadams1905
    @mickadams1905 2 роки тому +60

    I have/had agp and yeah same it possibly began with my mum.
    She didn't dress me up or anything but she often expressed how much she wanted a daughter.
    Unfortunately she had 3 boys and some part of me felt guilty for not being a girl.
    Parents really need To understand how their hang ups or whatever should not be shared with small children. There's no way to know how it might manifest later in their childrens lives.

    • @kimmmwest4641
      @kimmmwest4641 2 роки тому +5

      Parents do the best they can they not going to do everything perfect.

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +4

      My mother wanted a girls because a girl never left the mother while a boy leave her for another woman.
      But she hated kids, she did not want any kid.
      Result = I take HRT and I never left my parents at 48.

    • @aquarius1986
      @aquarius1986 Рік тому +2

      My dad wanted a boy and I was a tomboy growing up. I idealized the idea of being male for a long time and I think you could call it autoandrophilia in a way.

    • @Zzmaster_-mj2xv
      @Zzmaster_-mj2xv Рік тому +5

      My mom and sister would often dress me up and call me female names even in public situations. And now, I am both an agp and have humiliation fetish. I often wonder if they are to blame or not.

    • @Gingerblaze
      @Gingerblaze Рік тому

      @@fatoumata7624 so sorry for the circumstances of your birth and life within the culture you were born into which shaped your self beliefs.

  • @calmon-ground962
    @calmon-ground962 2 роки тому +30

    Stunning conversation. It's so great to hear the two of you discussing these complex matters of the soul. Thanks to both of you.

  • @jennytr5056
    @jennytr5056 2 роки тому +7

    Such a beautiful and honest conversation - thank you so much, Andrius, for your willingness to be vulnerable in sharing your story. The concept of overcoming autogynaphilia by choosing to respect and honor the body you have is really beautiful. I very much hope that others might find it helpful too. Not just for this condition, either. It feels like a revelation that honoring our material being instead of being so stuck in our thought life that we aren't really "in" our bodies might help resolve many kinds of problems. Bless you and your family, and I wish you all the best in the future.

  • @bad-girlbex3791
    @bad-girlbex3791 2 роки тому +16

    Užgavėnės! The celebration prior to Lent. I only know of this because as someone who has been looking into the pagan/Christian crossover of culture & beliefs where I come from, I also find other similar European customs/cultures fascinating. (The burning of Morė has echoes across so many other Indo-European traditions.)
    As for this conversation...just WOW! Patient (as you always are Mr B!), candid, thoughtful, eye-opening, inspiring, intelligent. Thank you Andrius for choosing to dialogue with Benjamin. You're so right in thinking that what you personally tried and experimented upon yourself, could be potential avenues for further investigation, with a view to helping others who have found themselves in a similar situation. (And of course, being the stereotypical girl that I am, I was especially happy to hear that you'd found a loving wife to share your life with.) Thank you to both of you for this brilliant calmversation!

  • @Miguel-un1vh
    @Miguel-un1vh 2 роки тому +15

    Fascinating conversation. Benjamin spoke very little and allowed Andrius to tell his story, which is sadly a rare skill in interviewers.

  • @fyonista
    @fyonista 2 роки тому +31

    Yes, Benjamin, I feel as a woman I pick up on male energy immediately I encounter one. Thanks for saying that.

    • @OldVoldie
      @OldVoldie 2 роки тому +5

      So do i as a woman but the energy is more of a feeling of danger and as i get to know the guy the feeling goes away of more intense if i think they are untrustworthy

    • @reapthewhirlwind4166
      @reapthewhirlwind4166 Рік тому

      @@OldVoldie Men like that element of danger. Even the AGPS

    • @Gingerblaze
      @Gingerblaze Рік тому +3

      There is a perceptible feminine energy also that other women may recognize that sounds very like what this guest describes. Once both masculine and feminine are integrated in a person of either sex, that perception is less intrusive and does not represent anything uncomfortable.

    • @forfreefire9307
      @forfreefire9307 Рік тому +1

      is there any way to become complete masculine?

    • @nikobellic570
      @nikobellic570 Рік тому +1

      I feel terrible that males have started entering and undressing in female spaces! We've regressed a very long way.

  • @ehyeh365
    @ehyeh365 2 роки тому +10

    Thank you! There is so much here! So much in the therapeutic and spiritual aspects of this mans experience brought up memories of those moments of emotional deepening and relief and of hearing the voice whisper in the heart: “It is taken care of. You don’t have to worry about it”. Have to listen again ❤️

  • @Gingerblaze
    @Gingerblaze Рік тому +9

    1:28:15 to 1:32:00 integration of the feminine rather than the external wearing of it via emotional and psychological maturation out of self deception is perhaps what healed his agp paraphilia. What an amazingly aware and adept guest! Much appreciation to you Benjamin for bringing him on your show to share his experience.

    • @sorrowinchrist3387
      @sorrowinchrist3387 11 місяців тому

      That is just prolonging the issue, or hidding hidden issues that need attention. Its the same with those transitioning, they are helping the urge, which we now know is harmful.

  • @joskun
    @joskun 3 місяці тому

    Thank you so much Benjamin and Andrius for this mind expanding conversation.
    This is the video I needed and I'm sure it will help many others.

  • @iara_pimenta
    @iara_pimenta Рік тому +9

    I really don’t have knowledge about his issue or any gender issues, but there is something that I find interesting: some, if not the majority, had problems with their parents when they were really young. Some mothers end up showing more affection towards their sons if they behave like daughters, and this confusion may affect them, because, at the end, all we want, specially when we are kids, is to have affection and love from our parents. So, in his mind, maybe there is that unconscious feeling to please the mother to be accepted or loved. As for girls, I see two things: trying to have their father attention by being like him, or trying to deny their female body to not be abused. I don’t know, I may be wrong, or arrogant on trying to have explanation for something that I really do not know, but I feel that messed up parents may be transferring their mess to their kids. No one can convince me that Jaz’s mother, for example, was not trying to push on her youngster her deep wish to have a daughter to perpetuate herself. I understand that there are a lot of other conditions, like messed up hormones, child abuse, autism, propaganda and a push for group acceptance, but, I believe, if you dig deeper, you will find a family cycle of pain and confusion.

    • @pseudonamed
      @pseudonamed Місяць тому +1

      I have seen a few female detransitioners talk about how they feel that sexual abuse or assault, or sometimes the fear of it, influenced them to become male. They weren't conscious of it at the time, but looking back they realised they were trying to avoid this maltreatment in the future by becoming male

  • @hellyeah_ellajane
    @hellyeah_ellajane 2 роки тому +94

    This reminds me so much of a friend I made while working in a coffee shop many years ago. He was such a sweet and gentle man. He started growing his hair out. Then all of a sudden, he was Hanna and he wore dresses and makeup.
    What originated as a serene and quiet friendship turned into complete dissonance. We didn’t connect at all once he decided to portray himself as if he was a woman.
    We originally resonated deeply when one of our mutual friends was painting a series of chiaroscuro portraits. I will always remember Hanna as he was depicted in these stunning paintings, as a tender and introspective man. I wonder where his portrait ended up and I wonder how he is doing now. While I hope he is well, I cannot help but feel extreme resentment and animosity against men that have the audacity to think they can pose as women. This fundamentally endangers women and children.
    Edited to say: it was so powerful when Andrius talked about the moment when he realized there was already a woman filling the purpose he desired and that he was able to develop the paradigm that his purpose was something different. So moving!

    • @cameronseibold5453
      @cameronseibold5453 2 роки тому +11

      "you must dress and act how I want you to be or I won't be your friend", super normal behavior, you sound like a cool and nice friend.

    • @maiaheiss2991
      @maiaheiss2991 2 роки тому +31

      @@cameronseibold5453 I think you missed the point of the comment.

    • @redpillsatori3020
      @redpillsatori3020 2 роки тому +6

      @@maiaheiss2991 ..I dunno. The op's comment actually does come off as quite anti-trans.

    • @adamsmith307
      @adamsmith307 2 роки тому

      Not all men who like wearing women’s clothes and makeup actually want to be or think of themselves as women. Would you say that girls who wear traditionally male clothes are trying to pass themselves off as men?

    • @Asptuber
      @Asptuber 2 роки тому +23

      @@cameronseibold5453 Read more carefully:
      "We didn’t connect at all once he decided to portray himself as if he was a woman. "
      No further information of _why_ this was so. The transfobic explanation is only one of many possibilities. Another possibility which immediately comes to mind in conjuction with this interview is that when John became Hanna his relationship with the world became dominantly I/it from previously having been I/you.
      Which would be quite natural in many ways, if you are constantly fighting against biology, constantly focusing on what you display to the world, there's not much room for seeing or connecting with other people on the you-level.
      It has nothing to do with dressing or acting per se, it has to do with only being inwardly focused.

  • @yuriyboyko8856
    @yuriyboyko8856 8 місяців тому +2

    Thank you, I hope this will reach more people in need

  • @sincerityissacred5101
    @sincerityissacred5101 2 роки тому +8

    Oh, you ARE "supposed" to hear back from God. That's grace. ☺ So much wisdom in this story. I believe that the type of radical as-is self-acceptance (including acceptance of one's body) can bring healing to all kinds of conditions. This is an underlying philosophy and insight meditation and mindfulness practices.

  • @lesleyt4327
    @lesleyt4327 2 роки тому +6

    The thing that strikes me listening to Andrius is how similar it sounds to someone ( ahem , me) battling with an eating disorder , the internal battle , the isolation, lots of parallels

  • @kaydenm721
    @kaydenm721 10 місяців тому +1

    Was totally tricked into that one, very similar uprising, then the truth bombshells started dropping. I really liked this talk, and awesome job asking questions, that was wonderful. I now have some more research to do and books to read. Thank you Andrius for sharing so much, you are helping change peoples lives.

  • @Liisa3139
    @Liisa3139 2 роки тому +21

    Wow, one of your best talks ever, Benjamin - and Andrius! This really brought new light to the psychodynamics of being a human, of maturing into an adult man/woman.
    I would just add that maybe that "tingling" feeling when being around men would be something like being able to charge your own battery in their presence. Aren't team sports, hunting clubs, biker groups to a great deal about this? Women have their own equivalents, of course.

    • @bad-girlbex3791
      @bad-girlbex3791 2 роки тому

      And there was me hoping it was the moment he was fully accepted into the patriarchy: now we've all gone paperless, you don't get a card to carry anymore...your patriarchy membership is fully digital, electronic and sizzles whenever a new patriarch joins the ranks! 😉

  • @janicemacpherson4158
    @janicemacpherson4158 2 роки тому +9

    Great talk.At first I was not keen to hear this story, I have grown weary of trans related stories. However, I was blown away by the way that Andries tackled his problem and more importantly how he made such a discovery that led to his release from delusion . I had no knowledge of this condition but now realise how my life has been affected by this type of thinking. So prevalent in our culture. I got out of bed to search for more info and found plenty of material about getting out of the box. See Leadership and self deception. Thank you so much.

    • @snowfox7739
      @snowfox7739 7 місяців тому

      I'd be careful about applying his story to every single person who is or is in their own self discovery process and calling them delusional if they don't reach the same end point as the man in the video.

  • @creatornat
    @creatornat 2 роки тому +2

    I want to sincerely thank both Benjamin and Andrius, for such a wonderful and healing conversation.
    In 'Metaphysical' and 'New Thought' circles, there is the instruction (such as through Cornelius Christopher) , that 'kindness to self' is one of the greatest, most healing things one can do for one's self. The concept of 'self acceptance' is not merely a 'nice idea', but rather, a powerful modality of change, through the mind, heart and spirit. So I am not surprised that Andius had such beautiful changes upon speaking words and kindness and appreciation to his body.
    When we fight with our bodies, our bodies (and minds), will only fight back.
    When we are kind to, speak kindly to, and value our bodies, (on a consistent, daily basis) our bodies and minds, can finally truly, love us back.

    • @vivvy_0
      @vivvy_0 2 роки тому

      How do you do that, being genuinely kind to yourself?

    • @creatornat
      @creatornat 2 роки тому +1

      @@vivvy_0 Thanks for your patience with my reply. 🙂
      Well, to answer your question, some of the ways that I practice being genuinely kind to myself, are, for example, if I am cooking and end up spilling some food on the counter, I'll say aloud to myself, 'That's ok, I still love you'.
      Or, if I did not get everything done in a day that I had initially intended to do at the start of the day, tell myself, 'It's alright. You did your best today, and you can always get the rest done tomorrow.'
      Basically, anytime one would perhaps typically be harder on themselves, to be especially kind, considerate and unconditionally loving and encouraging to oneself.
      I made a conscious decision to cut out any unkind words to myself, as much as I can, each day. And if I slip back into old, long-term, learned, habitual, negative self-talk, I stop myself and instead say, 'No, that was how I used to feel, I choose to feel differently about myself now. I like myself now.' It's all about 'kindness to self', as the goal.
      I hope those examples gave you some idea of what I mean.😊

  • @dragonslayer69420
    @dragonslayer69420 2 роки тому +10

    its incredible how often i forgot how valuable the knowledge of others over the generations (aka books) is, there is a reason we have great thinkers texts last through the ages, its because systemic selection processes (therefore a rating process) by individual readers keep them going

  • @roxee57
    @roxee57 2 роки тому +22

    Half an hour in and I don’t get what a person means when they say they “feel like a woman inside” while also saying “my interests were masculine”? Is the perception that what it feels like to be a woman is just based on what it’s perceived women feel like as a sexual being divorced from other aspects of our varied personalities and interests?

    • @MrHeroBrian
      @MrHeroBrian 2 роки тому +11

      I think it's seeing your own traits being exclusively epxressed by women and maybe even desireable while at the same time being undesireable for men. This 1:1 correlation becomes causality ("That is how women ARE", "That is how men ARE"). It's pattern matching gone berserk. I believe that's why so many highly intelligent people become trans. Doesn't help that the more intelligent you are the tougher your cognitive biases become

    • @Zzyzzyx
      @Zzyzzyx 2 роки тому +13

      I would answer yes. I think I heard Helen Joyce discussing this recently. She was saying that women and men both have fantasies about what the ideal man or woman is like - whether it is the men in romance novels, or the women in porn. She was saying that neither "ideal" is accurate, and is something more like a projection. Indeed, it's all about sex, and nothing else. A man can have 100% masculine interests, masculine behavior, and masculine drives, and still say he's a "woman inside" if he longs to play that idealized sexual role he projects onto women.

    • @helenestiernstrand6575
      @helenestiernstrand6575 2 роки тому +6

      Yes, I mean beeing a woman is not a feeling.

    • @paunaic5460
      @paunaic5460 2 роки тому +10

      I'm a little confused about it too. I've longed several times to be a man because I like male bodies and quite don't like my own, but I've never thought that I "feel like a man" even if I have masculine interests in many aspects. I also have never thought that I know what "feels like a woman". My worldview is limited to what my body and what society think of women, but I just don't get what it feels like because I cannot compare it to any other way of being, since I cannot just not be a woman. Like, even if I transitioned physically and socially to be a man, I would still be a woman feeling things while trying to be a man, I would not feel like what a man feels. I don't know, the topic is too much of a head ache, no wonder some people go nuts studying it.

  • @blackjack90631
    @blackjack90631 Рік тому +2

    This is a fantastic session! One realization I similar I guess to the toxic masculinity one and “hurting women” but not quite that is: As a man, I can’t have close friendships with women because either they or my spouse will be hurt and view it as cheating. However, women can have close friendship bonds with other women 0 issues and its encouraged.

  • @filmovigledanje1877
    @filmovigledanje1877 Рік тому +8

    This man is a genius. I would just add as a long time Agp that at the root is hypersensitivity and bpd which is driven by fear of abandonment. With every unsuccessful relationship with a woman, breakup and emotional stress, agp can be activated. But awareness of the mechanism is enough to prevent a man from entering the vicious circle of self-deception again.

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +2

      I had more desire to be a woman when with I am with a women !

    • @filmovigledanje1877
      @filmovigledanje1877 Рік тому +4

      @@fatoumata7624 The same thing. Fear of abandonment is an irrational and infatuated mechanism. It doesn't depend on whether someone actually left you. Autogynophilia is a coping mechanism to escape from that fear. When you enjoy someone's company, when you love someone, you start to fear leaving them, and there you have the mechanism of autogynophilia, which is sexual, but is rooted in deeper emotions.

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +1

      @@filmovigledanje1877 I have not fear of abandonment.

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +1

      @@filmovigledanje1877 Mnogo gledas filmova !

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +2

      @@filmovigledanje1877 When I was with a woman, seeing her once week was enough for me. And I am not afraid if she goes out without me to a party.
      Not a sign of fear.

  • @konradjaschke1931
    @konradjaschke1931 2 роки тому +14

    Very honest conversation, impressed. I think I learned a bunch of stuff.

  • @jacquelinedollard5791
    @jacquelinedollard5791 2 роки тому +22

    Biology is important. Definitions are important. Women are not an umbrella. Women are biological females. Anything else is a psychological issue.

    • @snowfox7739
      @snowfox7739 7 місяців тому

      Biology is important (I mean, it's the mechanism in which we exist in the first place). However, biology and genetics are much more complicated than many people's understanding of it.
      Additionally, the builder doesn't always follow the original blueprint because there are other variables that are also important as well. For instance, hormone washes in the womb has been one theory where as there are others that take on the gender/soul prospective to explain why some feel the innate need to either present or fully transition in a physical sense (which is different from those who ended up questioning due to parental neglect for example).
      At the end of the day I'm pretty live and let live so I really don't care about the *why* in a discourse sense. That’s for each individual to explore and work out. But as far as sex goes, hormones are hormones regardless of which sex chromosomes you were born with.

  • @annawray2220
    @annawray2220 2 роки тому +11

    This is the best conversation I’ve heard on this subject, totally enlightening. Praise God.

  • @maricampari3970
    @maricampari3970 2 роки тому +78

    Androgyny is a beautiful and necessary archetype. But attempting to jump the fence completely and invading the other side is unnatural, universally harmful and disingenuous. I wish for more more gender nonconforming people in the world, but not to this destructive extreme.

    • @aftonsky
      @aftonsky 2 роки тому +13

      Well said. Androgyny is beautiful precisely because of its ambiguousness, and having aspects of both sexes. This creates a full person. This is why many artist have been androgynies.

    • @MsChitterchat
      @MsChitterchat 2 роки тому +14

      I prefer the term stereotype non conforming. Gender shouldn’t be such a big issue but similarly we should celebrate natural tendencies, like being a mother or a father. Too much minority focus can hurt the masses by reducing the importance of natural tendencies.

    • @doopclann3428
      @doopclann3428 2 роки тому +4

      @@MsChitterchat non conforming is a lame

    • @tablescissors
      @tablescissors 2 роки тому +1

      Excellent response. Thank you. 👍🏿

    • @vivvy_0
      @vivvy_0 2 роки тому +2

      @@doopclann3428 conforming is a lame

  • @warius1
    @warius1 2 роки тому +41

    We used to cal this being a crossdresser. Before the internet people who wrestled with this kept it in the closet. And a lot of them grew over it when they got girlfriends, wives and families. But in these days, where young men are atomized and behind a screen 8 hours a day watching cartoons, they delude themself they can become a lady. It’s a fetish and you need to control it. Go build a table or learn an instrument.

    • @LoliLikesPedobear
      @LoliLikesPedobear 2 роки тому +4

      Or just LARPing for fun and get critical feedback as well as positive, but then put away wig and enjoy being you, not an elven princess Sila Swanwing but Joey Somethingson. This generation is so far from art and theater they turn the real world into play

    • @hiighcalibre
      @hiighcalibre 2 роки тому +6

      Playing an instrument is a weird double edged sword of a hobby. It can help you have incredible discipline, it can help you find your creative confidence, it can help you find zen/flowspace... it can also leave you a neurotic, isolated, broke, self-centered mess. :P

    • @vivvy_0
      @vivvy_0 2 роки тому +3

      wow you saved humanity *clap clap

  • @OldVoldie
    @OldVoldie 2 роки тому +10

    As a woman i also feel that tingling feeling when i meet a man, but that is more an energy of danger and as i get to know them the feeling either goes away or if i find them untrustworthy it gets more intense

  • @spidernymph8964
    @spidernymph8964 2 роки тому +2

    Wow, this just gets wilder and more fascinating the more you listen.

  • @tessoftheterfervilles9469
    @tessoftheterfervilles9469 2 роки тому +25

    Interesting. Unusual to hear an honest AGP. Typically they are only honest amongst themselves in (often secret) groups and some of the practices are what a healthy non-porn using society would describe as disgusting and obscene. I disagree with him that a man who identifies as a woman is a sort of woman, when he is not at all and never. A man is the opposite sex. OPPOSITE being the key word here. He had that man's idea in his man's head - he lived an unreality and we should NOT be expected to indulge or participate in any of these men's fantasies. He mentioned briefly a relief from feeling he was a woman for about 24 hours - I assume from what I have read ("Men Trapped In Men's Bodies") this was after he had masturbated and ejaculated although he didn't offer that level of detail.

    • @Lisboooa
      @Lisboooa 2 роки тому +1

      If the fantasy was to being a bear we were supposed to indulge and participate also. That’s how society is in 2022…

    • @LoliLikesPedobear
      @LoliLikesPedobear 2 роки тому +11

      I think he derived of this line of thinking, listen to his experience while telling about becoming acquainted with Jung. We tend to plaster personality traits to biological sexes because of their statistical prevalence, he didn’t like masculine role model being huge nerd and compromised as boyish boy since early childhood by his nasty mother. This is why he started fantasizing and it got out of hand. Generally, emotional boys are less accepted than tomboyish girls. Being from Russia, I can attest to the fact that society is incredibly cruel to feminine sentimental or just meek and tender men. Also there’s a thing that male bodies are not as idealized and appreciated as female. So we have a damaged boy who gets bullied endlessly and doesn’t feel good in his body due to puberty raging on either. This is one piece of this problem out of the top of my head.
      And can we just appreciate how intelligent and genuine this man is?

    • @jjtimmins1203
      @jjtimmins1203 2 роки тому +1

      Sounded more like to me that the guy was able to identify in an honest way a connection between agp and the sex drive, and the clarity of this admission greatly helped him to manage and subdue the disorder. For people, especially sensitivity people afraid of judgment, admitting this fetish is a terrifying prospect, even if they want to. Other people who indulge in it by forcing their fetish onto others are off the deep end. Sadly I don't think there are any professional therapists that can offer help for a male with agp except for 'affirming' them as trans.

  • @harrywan2604
    @harrywan2604 10 місяців тому +3

    The divide i have trouble with is hearing the stories of the autogynephiles and then society at large. Those with AGP obviously have a true stuggle whether that is a gender struggle sexual struggle etc. I feel for them and obviously the way they have it now is a terrible destiny to hide what this even is. However they are men that want to appear as women. So understanding that most female attracted trans women have this condition we see in reality a different side of this. We have seen several of these men force themselves into female sports with visible differences that literally cannot be ignored to the human eye. They scream their chants that women are women to the day ends. They speak of their horniness and male anatomy in a blatant non woman way that most males in society also do not speak of their anatomy. They demand access to spaces. They demand sex is not binary.
    That being said we know that this disorder is said to align commonly with narcissism and masochism. Literal men dominating female sports and non-passing AGP trans people throwing hot soup in the faces of those who call them out is not aligning with the stories. The desperation in all AGP stories sound like this is a life or death battle with a all encompassing power they are not in control over. But these people in person act in a way that does not come from suffering. I do not see large males beating women in sports as a suffering soul, I see it as a bully. I see it as the definition of toxic masculinity in the worst form. So in order for anyone to jump on the support AGP train someone needs to call out the foul acts taking place in society. The internet groups of transwomen sound more like BDSM or KINK groups rather than any medical community. I am a female who is has female daughters and have been around all sorts of females from all cultures throughout my life. There identity runs opposite of a female, and quite on the more extreme toxic masculine spectrum of males. That being said the transexual identities of straight transwomen I find them very relatable, as if I do believe there is some identity of a feminine soul inside. Anyway the straight tran sexual to the AGP is two opposites who do not have the same fight and have 2 different realities.

    • @metatechnologist
      @metatechnologist 9 місяців тому

      That's just it if I may paraphrase. A trans is singly interested in passing, relating and existing as a woman where AGP goal is satisfying a sexual need. As another posted possibly a cross dresser.
      Trans are not really interested in crossdressing per se imo.

  • @mantasvilunas2636
    @mantasvilunas2636 2 роки тому +8

    well Andrius is sounding quite a lot like me in school except i never thought of being/becoming a girl but the overly sensitive thing/crying easily,yep that all fits

  • @JamesRWhite-wb6iq
    @JamesRWhite-wb6iq 2 роки тому +2

    What an incredibly interesting conversation! And what an fascinating man, who used his intelligence for growth and self analysis, bravo!

  • @bellelacroix5938
    @bellelacroix5938 2 роки тому +4

    Loving the explanation surrounding 1 hour 15 minutes. I think we all can apply this to any interrelational situation. Better Living through better understanding...

  • @eLurkr
    @eLurkr Рік тому +2

    this was wonderful, and very reflective of the experience of being caught in indecision, caution and anxiety

  • @self-publishinghelp8596
    @self-publishinghelp8596 2 роки тому +5

    Yes, male energy is electric. Maybe that slight edge of the potential for danger there (as Jordan Peterson points out) that makes men exciting to be around. I think men feel it, too. I always sense that competitive vibe bouncing off each other. They’re probably mostly not as introspective as Andreas and it’s unheeded background noise to most men.

    • @markallen5001
      @markallen5001 Рік тому

      As a male I can confirm this feeling is present in us too.

    • @balalaika852
      @balalaika852 Рік тому

      I find men exhausting to be around. Your experience is not universal.

  • @billmartins5545
    @billmartins5545 2 роки тому +15

    45:30 Ben, it's not a conflict of rights. It's the wants and desires of some men vs our rights as females. No male has the right to a female-only space. If something is at the expense of someone else's right, that thing is not a right. Also, these men aren't worried so much about bullying in male spaces, they insist on being in female spaces because that's part of their condition.

  • @smp7413
    @smp7413 2 роки тому +26

    A pressure around being a woman relieved by ejaculations. Classic AGP.

    • @diamoradiaz4287
      @diamoradiaz4287 Рік тому +1

      Where was that told?, I didn't hear it in this conversation.

  • @collyernicholasjohn
    @collyernicholasjohn 2 роки тому +17

    Nothing “wrong” with being AGP - if you don’t hurt anyone else. Trouble is, so many AGPs get off on invading women’s spaces.
    Most trans-identifying men are AGP.
    Ann Lawrence: 86% of transsexuals had occasional and 49% had at least hundreds of episodes of autogynephilic arousal.
    Blanchard: 82% of nonhomosexual transsexuals admitted autogynephilic arousal.

    • @asdasdasd4207
      @asdasdasd4207 2 роки тому +7

      Boundary violating AGP's should be called out, but i hope that people won't assume that all AGP's are like this. the majority tend to keep it to themselves, and most AGP's still dont go so far as to transition. the ones people see in public being obnoxious are AGP and mentally ill in other ways, narcissist, borderline, autistic, traumatized etc.

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +2

      AG = trans.

    • @diamoradiaz4287
      @diamoradiaz4287 Рік тому +4

      In this interview you could see that there is actually a problem for the person suffering it. So is not that OK, for instance, there should be a free space for the development of techniques for the people who don't want to transition and truly want to overcome it. People shouldn't be subjected to that persecution if they want to put out to others who might also want to overcome it, the techniques and methods in which it was achieved.

  • @lastmanstanding5423
    @lastmanstanding5423 2 роки тому +4

    Excellent talk.
    I really need to get that book about self-deception.
    I know quite a few people in my family that live like that.
    This conversation helped me to understand them better.
    And I'm guessing the book will be very interesting.

  • @barboglesby2162
    @barboglesby2162 11 місяців тому +1

    Im so glad to hear your guest tell his story and how he has found peace and acceptance with his masculinity. Autogynephilia is a form of sex addiction. We've always known that. What triggers it can vary. The addiction gets worse with use, like all addictions, but there can be recovery as with any addiction. I'm not saying its easy to not indulge in the compulsion, as all addictions are challenging to let go of. However, Autogynephilia is not a sexual orientation. Like any addict, Autogynephiliacs can get very aggressive if they cannot practice their addiction, or if anyone interferes in their addiction practice. A good reason for women not to be forced to be made vulnerable to Autogynephilia men. At his self assessed "five" level, this man did not allow his obsession to possess him to that extent. He was willing and wanting to be free of the burden of it before it possed him further. Addiction experts will stress that a relationship and surrender to God, or a higher power, will more likely bring about a better outcome in managing any addiction issue. I'm glad this man found peace through prayer and the diligent introspection and research he does to understand himself. I thank him very much for his story and send him my sincere prayers of support.

  • @Pk-wu9tl
    @Pk-wu9tl Рік тому +1

    I relate to his story a lot in some sections. Growing up is so strange.

  • @Wild_flower_415
    @Wild_flower_415 2 роки тому +3

    Good interview, thanks!

  • @billmartins5545
    @billmartins5545 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks so much to your guest for sharing his story.

  • @zzzaaayyynnn
    @zzzaaayyynnn 2 роки тому +7

    fascinating interview...in my experience prayer can intrude into the immanent like this...and his East European experience was a new twist on the discussion.

    • @bad-girlbex3791
      @bad-girlbex3791 2 роки тому +5

      Even for those of us who aren't necessarily of a religious bent, the concept of offering ones problems up to a "higher power" (whatever that might entail) is a tried and tested method in various cultures and communities, in order to get beyond the immediate constricted view we feel unable to get beyond.

    • @zzzaaayyynnn
      @zzzaaayyynnn 2 роки тому

      @@bad-girlbex3791 great point...

  • @triscat
    @triscat 2 роки тому +5

    Such a great conversation. I learned quite a bit. Also....once more, the genius of Jung.

  • @goodlookinouthomie1757
    @goodlookinouthomie1757 2 роки тому +52

    Always with the anime avatars...

    • @maricampari3970
      @maricampari3970 2 роки тому +16

      At least he chose a male.

    • @vivvy_0
      @vivvy_0 2 роки тому +1

      miyazaki hates anime xD

    • @marvalice3455
      @marvalice3455 Рік тому +6

      Well, anime at least prioritizes beauty. Beauty is something that calls to all men. We need it, and western arts refuse to provide it to us.
      An attraction to anime happens in people who know they need something that the west is not giving.

    • @VenusManTrap-777
      @VenusManTrap-777 Рік тому

      Ikr

    • @snowfox7739
      @snowfox7739 7 місяців тому

      @@maricampari3970why does it matter? It's just an avatar, go as wild as you'd like.

  • @self-publishinghelp8596
    @self-publishinghelp8596 2 роки тому +8

    Feminism has a lot to answer for in making men feel like masculinity is inherently toxic. I think it’s screwed up men a lot. Like the guilt this man felt that screwed him up just for having the ability to hurt women even though he hasn’t. True masculinity (of the non-toxic) variety should be highly prized by women. The flip side of that ability to hurt women is the ability to provide and protect. Which are very valuable. As femininity is valued by non-toxic masculinity. They fit together in a beautiful complement. And masculinity and femininity are so much more than their stereotypes.

  • @filmovigledanje1877
    @filmovigledanje1877 Рік тому +5

    1. Avoid pornography (especially trans)
    2. Stop yourself from daydreaming (or while looking at your body parts)
    3. Look women in the eyes (avoid body parts)
    4. Admit to yourself that you love women and that you respond to female aesthetics
    5. Admit to yourself that you feel intense love pain when a woman is attracted to you
    6. admit to yourself that the root of that love pain is caused by the fear of abandonment and loneliness, which is characteristic of borderline cases
    7. admit to yourself that autogynophilia is a maladaptive narcissistic character that serves to cope with that separation anxiety
    8. you will experience anxious depressive episodes on the one hand and emptiness on the other - this is normal, because you have illuminated the root of your problem
    9. admit to yourself that you are prone to partial dissociativeness, because if you weren't, you wouldn't have that mechanism of imagining yourself as a woman, your body part, different sado macho scenarios, etc.
    10. KEY-use that dissociativeness in another direction:
    -Stand in front of the mirror and look into your eyes. Imagine that the figure in the mirror loves you
    -Don't worry, you won't become homosexual, because your problem is that you are extremely heterosexual with a strong fear of abandonment
    -Over time, stronger and stronger narcissistic kicks will appear that serve you to overcome that fear, which you turned towards your own femininity, which is an integral part of every psyche
    -You also imagine parts of that person's body in the mirror - in time you will feel those erotic love kicks like when you now imagine that you are a woman
    - Start masturbating on that figure who loves you in the mirror, imagine his penis, eyes, chest and hands
    - Do it regularly and enjoy it, because you will
    -Over time, your daily thought will be taught to overcome that fear in this way, not autogynophilic.
    -Women will excite you less, but they will bring you to the level of the average heterosexual who does not idealize women but sees them realistically
    - This will allow you to connect more deeply with your partner over time
    - Even if you happen to experience intense anxiety after an intensely deep relationship with a woman and an out-of-series orgasm (as if you were a little unprotected child), don't worry, because the image in the mirror will help you to quickly return to yourself
    -Don't go overboard with the mirror image either, because the point is to connect with an average level of narcissism, not to become the greatest lover in the world
    - Respect other people, because no one is without problems
    -The rest of the time, try to control your emotions as much as you can, because the root of everything is that you are a borderline personality with a strong dissociative mechanism.
    - Use antidepressants only when the sadness is too intense, since they numb the emotions, and that is the way to what we essentially call depression
    -If this helps you, share further
    p.s. It's likely that this approach will catch on when the fad of trans ideology passes and someone else takes the glory, but as long as it helps people, I'm fine with it.

  • @h6hfelie
    @h6hfelie 2 роки тому +2

    I really hope you've backed up all these interviews, they're so important for documenting what is a random and insane time of moral-collapse in western history! Maybe the next big empire can use them to watch out for signs of a possible collapse of their society before it is too late for them.

  • @MsChitterchat
    @MsChitterchat 2 роки тому +30

    Ultimately this is very sad. It shows the importance of fathers and good male role models for children. It also shows the dangers of dominant narcissistic mothering.

    • @MsChitterchat
      @MsChitterchat 2 роки тому +8

      I should add, it’s wonderful this guy figured things out. I am immensely happy for him.

    • @Tevildo
      @Tevildo 2 роки тому +3

      Again, we come back to Freud. He may be discredited from a theraputic point of view, but all the narratives that Benjamin's guests relate fit in perfectly with his theories of development.

    • @alemusicgirl
      @alemusicgirl 2 роки тому +2

      my mother wanst narcissistic at al and m agp as well... so ?

    • @loribenvenuto4679
      @loribenvenuto4679 2 роки тому +3

      I only know two ppl who were trans.. both had messed up mothers. The one his mother wanted to daughter and just treated him as a female, girls clothes etc. I lost track of them. The other, the mother treated her daughter as if she was a boy, even did her nursery (when born) like a boys room , dressed her in boys clothes and bought boy toys. She was a horrible mother allowing the kid to be outbof control and very bratty. Now she's grown, is a male and has a beard! Ugh

  • @SchrodingersTransCat
    @SchrodingersTransCat 2 роки тому +6

    Great convo! Thanks Andrius and Benjamin!

  • @MiniT-x8q
    @MiniT-x8q 9 місяців тому +2

    His story doesn't sound like one of an AGP? He sounds like he was suffering from internal/external homophobia and was simply gay?

  • @michellemarie9526
    @michellemarie9526 Рік тому +2

    Just a stupendous interview. So fascinating on so many levels. About the guilt of men towards separating from their mothers, I would highly recommend "When He's Married to Mom" by Dr. Kenneth Adams for more of a practical look at the issue. I'm a woman and understanding the familial dynamic basically cured me of depression, almost overnight (along with my faith which played no small part). The Catholic sacramental worldview can basically be distilled down into the phrase "matter matters". Reality is an icon through which we touch God, and that's why it's sacred. This goes for our bodies as well - they are not merely an indifferent shell that hold our spirits (which is a heresy) but they too will be resurrected along with all of reality, when it will be finally free from the effects of original sin.

    • @BenjaminABoyce
      @BenjaminABoyce  Рік тому +2

      Thank you for being open to my guest and for sharing your thoughts, Michelle :)

    • @michellemarie9526
      @michellemarie9526 Рік тому

      @@BenjaminABoyce And thank you for doing what you do :)

  • @self-publishinghelp8596
    @self-publishinghelp8596 2 роки тому +1

    Very interesting insightful guest. The bit on self-deception and the state of our culture was very relevant for much beyond gender issues.

  • @InterstellarDreams
    @InterstellarDreams 2 роки тому +16

    That's very interesting! Going to watch this when I get back home from work. :P
    I also knew an honest AGP in college. Although I didn't know what AGP was back then, and he did not use that terminology to explain it. Plus I was still ragingly TRA, at the time. And tried to convince him of: "oh, poor hun, just go be a woman, though! You probably have a female brain, and things!" And he..? Was actually the one telling me: "I don't think it's that simple! I can't actually become a woman, so I don't think that would be fair! Plus it's mainly a sexual thing, I think." And I was like: "okay". So that makes a LOT more sense to me now, after becoming GC, and learning about all these things I just did not know back then! And.. kudos to him, for being honest.
    I don't think the fact that some men have AGP makes them our enemies, in and on ITSELF. As they did not choose that, and it does not mean they're inherently bad people? Although do I like it? No. Do I think society, with its enforced regressive sex role stereotypes is largely to blame for men developing it? Yes. And that does indeed bother me, as a woman, as a feminist, and as a TERF. But simultaneously..? People don't get to choose their fetishes, no matter how politically incorrect they are, and no matter how distasteful I may find them.
    So yeah.. I think it's mainly about what these men choose to DO with it! Use it as an excuse to try to appropriate femaleness, female-only spaces, push gender ideology as a social narrative, etc..? And I definitely WILL consider you my enemy! As that sh*t is SO incredibly harmful, toxic, and disgustingly entitled and manipulative, I can't even! But just accept the fact that you're still a man, and enjoy your fetish in private, without forcing it on other people, or expecting society to validate you..? And we're good, and could likely even be friends. :)

  • @arthurofcharn
    @arthurofcharn 2 роки тому +9

    Keep up the good work, Ben.

  • @anielsky4831
    @anielsky4831 Рік тому

    This is very pleasant to listen to, not the things he says itself but his voice is very calming to me. Maybe because I grew up in eastern europe. Anyways thanks for this video this topice intrests me so much as a woman. I know many transgender people and its geniunely worrying how many of them dont actually know what they are.

  • @dgh5760
    @dgh5760 2 роки тому +6

    Half way through this video I am wondering - What does Andrius understand it to mean that he "feels" like a woman? I guess I don't understand how a man could "feel" something he cannot possibly understand. Now he may think he knows by attributing specific behaviors, thoughts, etc to being a woman, but one sex can never know what it is like to be the other sex. They can only make a guess or have an imaginary notion of what that other sex is like. It is very confusing to most of us as to what is actually going on in the gender dysmorphic person's thinking. Also half way through the video I haven't heard anything that would indicate Andrius has autogynophelia, just that he has gender dysphoria. What am I missing? Autogynephilia (derived from Greek for 'love of oneself as a woman') is the term Blanchard coined for "a male's propensity to be sexually aroused by the thought of himself as a female", intending for the term to refer to "the full gamut of erotically arousing cross-gender behaviors and fantasies".

    • @SchrodingersTransCat
      @SchrodingersTransCat 2 роки тому +3

      Andrius doesn't really spend much time on the erotic aspect. But he does talk about how he would find 'autoerotic satisfaction' about once per 24 hours, after which his need or wish to be a woman would go away for a few hours. That's a common feature of autogynephilia.

    • @Zelly2001
      @Zelly2001 2 роки тому

      There’s no logical explanation to that, the only answer I have is that when he looks in the mirror he sees a woman, or that he feels like his actual gender is female. Yet again there is no explanation to what feeling like a woman is, even if you ask a biological woman that they can’t really answer that without saying some sort of stereotype about women.

  • @erikadarling
    @erikadarling Рік тому +3

    Yes, very good. A definite difference between dysphoria and autogynephilia. One is sexual (testosterone based), and the other is gender (psychologically based)..

  • @TDQ_Gaming
    @TDQ_Gaming 2 роки тому +6

    About half way through this and I can't shake the feeling that he had BPD mother that really did a number on him growing up.

    • @clarityriver2198
      @clarityriver2198 2 роки тому +5

      yes she did indeed :D And spot on about BPD.

    • @dishonest-corset4942
      @dishonest-corset4942 2 роки тому

      @@clarityriver2198
      I was actually thinking she had narcissistic personality disorder. I recommend checking out HG tudor on UA-cam

  • @Dirtyvinyl23
    @Dirtyvinyl23 2 роки тому +12

    You find a lot these type of men on TikTok who are in love with themselves putting on woman’s face.
    Some( homosexual transsexual) are hyper feminine and can easily pass on the surface as women. Furthermore, you can tell that they love all the attention and adulation, judging by the several comments they receive, mostly from female followers and a few men, who claim to be heterosexual telling them how pretty and feminine they are.
    They seem to be only interested in makeup, showing cleavage and acting in the most stereotypical ways. Seldom do these so-called women speak about female oppression and the patriarchy. No, for them it’s all about looks and how well they can convince others that they are the living embodiment of a woman.
    The autogynephile has successfully latched themselves onto the LGB community in order to give themselves cover and legitimacy. Many of them will deny this paraphilia but they’re are several self-confessed autogynephiles who have admitted to having this type of behaviour embedded within themselves.

    • @ExecutionSommaire
      @ExecutionSommaire Рік тому

      I would add that female oppression is precisely a key ingredient of their arousal. They get off by acting in a way that matches the worst pornographic clichés for women. It's masochism at its core, men with broken self-esteem who derive sexual pleasure from degradation, a classic mechanism after childhood traumas.

  • @ESkengman
    @ESkengman Рік тому +2

    I'm confused. He speaks of being 'the wrong gender in his body' - which is gender dysphoria - but then what is AUTOGYNEPHILIA THEN? Why is this not just a transgender discussion?

    • @kireduhai9428
      @kireduhai9428 6 місяців тому +2

      Part of it is the language barrier.
      The other part, which people don't ever want to admit, is that there is really no substantial difference between the two.

  • @OO-ct4hq
    @OO-ct4hq 2 роки тому +3

    These kinda talks are convincing me to transition in order to have a better life sadly, because I don't want to be under all that pressure even though I don't want what I have right now too.

    • @kommando5562
      @kommando5562 2 роки тому +9

      Are you sure that’s what you’ll want? You really can’t change bone structure and stuff estrogen just kinda makes you sterilized and messes up your metabolism.

    • @OO-ct4hq
      @OO-ct4hq 2 роки тому

      @@kommando5562 I know but every time someone says the reason why they didn't do it or de-transitioned or regretted it was because they realized their interest in their biological gender's traits. I don't have it.

    • @kimmmwest4641
      @kimmmwest4641 2 роки тому

      Better how ?

    • @kimmmwest4641
      @kimmmwest4641 2 роки тому

      @@OO-ct4hq no it's because they realize they can't change they sex/gender it's ultimately pointless and harmful.

    • @jcgaladd
      @jcgaladd Рік тому +2

      Just stay informed about the possible complications of HRT and surgeries, because if things go wrong you can end up with a pretty horrific quality of life. After all these interventions are experimental, i. e. - not throroughly researched/followed up long term: from influence of HRT on the brain, mood, metabolism to constant urinary infections, necrosis, sepsis etc. because of surgeries.

  • @KavitaWali2
    @KavitaWali2 Рік тому +4

    So there is no permanent cure for AGP?

  • @Liisa3139
    @Liisa3139 2 роки тому +10

    I remember in the 1980s when t*vestites still existed they did not seem to even try to look like real women; dressing up in women's clothes was the thing. You could see them in the street sometimes - looking like men in a dress and maybe a wig and a lot of make-up. Flamboyant and over the top. I don't think they didn't look like real women because they didn't know how to dress right and do their make-up - they actually didn't even want to look like women. They just wanted the excitement of acting out. As long as you keep away from the too porn and too kink realm, I think it is ok. And back then I never saw anything too kink out in public places. Pride was still an event of showing a socio-political opinion and not a carnivalistic performance.

    • @SchrodingersTransCat
      @SchrodingersTransCat 2 роки тому +2

      I'm not sure that's entirely accurate. Some researchers--including Dr Harry Benjamin and Dr Anne Lawrence, if I recall correctly, writing 30 years apart--have said some transvestites / AGPs seem to have an unrealistic idea of how much they look like women while cross-dressed, or how easy it will be to pass as women when they transition, or how easily they'll attract sexual partners. Anne Lawrence had an example in her book of an elderly AGP who was convinced he'd have rich guys falling all over him once he became the supermodel in his head.
      The effect seems similar to 'beer goggles' (where a man finds a woman more attractive while under the influence of alcohol'). In the case of AGPs, we're sort of fantasising so hard that, in our minds, the awkward manly bits fade into the background, while the hints of womanliness are right up in the foreground. At least that's my own experience as a mild AGP. Meanwhile, other people aren't in that AGP-goggle state, and clearly see the 'man in the dress'.

    • @MsChitterchat
      @MsChitterchat 2 роки тому

      Transsexuals tried to look like women. Transvestites were often prostitutes..a costume..a performance and a livelihood?

    • @SchrodingersTransCat
      @SchrodingersTransCat 2 роки тому +8

      @@MsChitterchat Ah, but there's an old joke that goes: "What's the difference between a transvestite and a transsexual? Two years."

    • @MsChitterchat
      @MsChitterchat 2 роки тому +1

      @@SchrodingersTransCat Quite possibly true for some

    • @Liisa3139
      @Liisa3139 2 роки тому

      @@MsChitterchat There was very little prostitution back then, let alone male prostitution in any form. I would see a few characters in daylight on my way to/from my classes in university.

  • @JonathanRossRogers
    @JonathanRossRogers Рік тому +1

    18:05 It seems that there was intentional ambiguity about Andrius' country, which my mind mind saw a puzzle to solve. I think there's a strong likelihood that he is from Lithuania, which is the only former Soviet republic with a Catholic majority.

    • @balalaika852
      @balalaika852 Рік тому

      There's no ambiguity. I'm 5 minutes in - he's got a Lithuanian accent, name, and mentions a Lithuanian holiday. I think he's just assuming nobody would know the name of the country.

    • @JonathanRossRogers
      @JonathanRossRogers Рік тому

      @@balalaika852 You are obviously much more familiar with Lithuanian culture than I am. There is a difference between knowing the name of a country, accent and other cultural details. BTW, do you think most viewers of this video can recognize Lithuanian accents and holidays?

  • @smp7413
    @smp7413 2 роки тому +18

    These men always want to be a "pretty" woman. The woman who resides in their head.

    • @minuishaq631
      @minuishaq631 2 роки тому +2

      Not just pretty a "hot bimbo porn star" type. The sissification/bimboification porn they watch has a very specific type

    • @clarityriver2198
      @clarityriver2198 2 роки тому +5

      To be fair at low points I was thinking that it would be preferable to be ANY woman, even an ugly one. However if given a choice would of course select a more attractive version. But wouldn't we all? ;)

    • @minuishaq631
      @minuishaq631 2 роки тому +16

      @@clarityriver2198 that's true but they seem to going for a particular type of beauty more porn star than movie star. Its a hyper sexualised version of a woman not just an attractive one

    • @clarityriver2198
      @clarityriver2198 2 роки тому

      @@minuishaq631 having a body of hypersexualized porn star was never a turn on for me. Nor was I attracted to that type of women.

    • @Zelly2001
      @Zelly2001 2 роки тому

      Who’s sexual fantasy wants to be an ugly woman? Of course agps want to be pretty women.

  • @diamoradiaz4287
    @diamoradiaz4287 Рік тому

    Michael Bader was my teacher in my in Psychology M.A. program.
    I didn't see the part of falling in love emotional and sexually to the idea of himself as if he was a woman that define the autogynephylia.

  • @self-publishinghelp8596
    @self-publishinghelp8596 2 роки тому +3

    Don’t we all have a relationship with our bodies where that relationship is annoying or slightly hostile? 😂 it just doesn’t always take the direction of gender.

  • @chrisazure1624
    @chrisazure1624 2 роки тому +3

    I wonder how trauma therapies like reintegrative therapy would help with this?

  • @Bibirallie
    @Bibirallie 10 місяців тому

    Very interesting conversation and loved listening to his point of view. I found some compassion for his struggle. Personally, I strongly disagree that he can still be a woman and that womanhood is a big umbrella that involves men who feel like women. He can be a trans woman, but not a woman. also, unfortunately, pushing for more territory, only means women are the ones who are loosing.

  • @hekate314
    @hekate314 Рік тому +2

    Watching I had a feeling that Jung's ideas had to do with resolving his autogynophilia issues. That is so sad that Freud went mainstream not Jung. He had many genius ideas that would have saved humanity many problems.

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому

      Silly. I have AG. Know about Jung. Still have AG. And even taking HRT.

    • @hekate314
      @hekate314 Рік тому +2

      @@fatoumata7624 Silly. Just knowing about sombody is not going to magically impact your health.

    • @fatoumata7624
      @fatoumata7624 Рік тому

      @@hekate314 This Guy tells that knowing about Jung would solve all problems !

  • @mantasvilunas2636
    @mantasvilunas2636 2 роки тому +1

    Looks at name-wow,that's an unexpected twist,this should be interesting to listen to

  • @realMaverickBuckley
    @realMaverickBuckley 2 роки тому +1

    Crazy. I literally just watched The Silence of the Lambs!

  • @rosepyatt638
    @rosepyatt638 2 роки тому

    As a sensitive girl/woman, I've been accused of being overly sensitive. People still say that to me. The funny thing is that I chose manly occupations like driving big vehicles. I think that men should be sensitive too.

    • @jjtimmins1203
      @jjtimmins1203 2 роки тому +2

      Men and women who are sensitive need to be taught that a: it's ok to be that way, and b: how other people have different levels of sensitivity, and c: how to deal with sensitivity. Im a guy who's incredibly sensitive, but had no understanding of it or those ABCs until I was into middle age.

  • @winros
    @winros Рік тому

    It's just having respect for one another. When I'm with my elders I don't throw the f-bomb! When I go into someone's home 75% of the time I will remove my shoes! If I need to borrow something from someone, they will get it back in better condition than when giving it to me! It's being mindful and considerate... bottom line! ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼

  • @bettyfreddy8377
    @bettyfreddy8377 2 роки тому +3

    I like his accent.

  • @fatoumata7624
    @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +1

    I do not inderstand how he solved his problem. By eating better ?!

  • @jcimsn8464
    @jcimsn8464 Рік тому

    Phil Illy's new book Auto Heterosexual. A must read.

    • @cassiopeiathetortoise115
      @cassiopeiathetortoise115 2 місяці тому

      A must read? I could not even listen to all of the interview Benjamin made with him, probably the only interview on this channel that I got bored with the content, ideations, let alone reading his book. I thought he had done quite some mental gymnastics to define and defend his AGP as a sexual orientation and not a paraphilia or a mental disorder and hold on tight to it. Can not come close to Andrius's realistic but deep and encompassing approach to the matter. Best wishes and peace to Phil none the less.

  • @spidernymph8964
    @spidernymph8964 2 роки тому +3

    I wonder if the "male energy" he described sensing was really just a psychologically-triggered physical reaction to the change that was happening in him psychology. Like, he was recognizing his own male identity for the first time, and that caused him to have a reaction when close to other males like: "hey, these are my brethren!"

  • @nickmagrick7702
    @nickmagrick7702 2 роки тому +8

    "I don't feel like a man inside"
    Bullshit. What is a man anyways? Its not some display of strength or role hierarchy. Being a man is just a state of maturity. Maybe the ability to provide.
    Im straight but by all metrics I could be considered as being less than a man by stereotypical standards. I never had to question who or what I am in that way, I already knew. The big question ive always tried to solve is who I want to become

    • @SchrodingersTransCat
      @SchrodingersTransCat 2 роки тому +3

      Fair point. But men often worry about not being seen as 'real men'. They test each other to see if they can 'take it like a man', e.g. "Check out this gross thing!" Men insulting other men might say, "You girl!"
      To many people, if you're weak, then you're not a 'real man'. Weakness--or being sensitive and crying a lot, which looks like the same thing to a lot of people--is seen as a woman thing.
      Women can be just as merciless as men when it comes to judging this, too.

    • @KingdomPlans
      @KingdomPlans 2 роки тому +2

      Men protect, provide, explore and conquers.

    • @tottoni1245
      @tottoni1245 Рік тому +1

      It's not about the label. For example, i would feel better with testosterone ...as a female. and if you see the changes that testosterone is making on my body, some will call me woman and some will call me a man. The transition it's just a stage where you can feel better, but it's not the solution. It's not a cure, it's just a treatment. And we should take that treatment in order to leave better.

    • @nickmagrick7702
      @nickmagrick7702 Рік тому +1

      @@tottoni1245 treatment for what?

    • @metatechnologist
      @metatechnologist 9 місяців тому

      It's not that I am a man it's that I have the brain of a girl.

  • @rosepyatt638
    @rosepyatt638 2 роки тому +3

    I fought thoughts that were dangerous and self depreciating. I used the word of God outloud to make these thoughts go away. I think it was demonic.

  • @tablescissors
    @tablescissors 2 роки тому +2

    Good conversation, worth the patience to listen. I'm saving this to my Gender folder, but the psychology was very interesting as well.
    I feel as if footnotes, especially for the literature read, would be very helpful in the notes of this video. ✏️ EDIT: I see u already had the foresight to do that -- thank you!!

    • @jcimsn8464
      @jcimsn8464 Рік тому

      Phil Illy Auto Heterosexual was just published. Must read

  • @w00tbassman
    @w00tbassman 2 роки тому +2

    "meowgorithm and purrs CALMversation" Oh man, the play on "spur" here makes me purr, @Ninjakitty

  • @samhand8270
    @samhand8270 2 роки тому +23

    Does anybody else find it interesting that the “gender atypical” trend followers seem to all have an obsession or love of anime? There’s also a third correlation with autism but the anime thing is so prevalent that it might cause one to think that there’s something insidious and influential about anime that we don’t really understand. We see the kind of strange, inhuman behavior it inspires in young people on TikTok and Instagram. 🤨

    • @SchrodingersTransCat
      @SchrodingersTransCat 2 роки тому +20

      My pet theory is that being on the autism spectrum to some degree--which is correlated with trans and 'gender-diverse' identification--can predispose you to like anime (and other cartoons). Autistic people can find it hard to read human expressions and emotions. Especially when it comes to relationships, love and romance, etc. But anime is highly stylised, with simplified and very expressive faces. It's much easier to 'read' when the characters are sad, disgusted, friendly, unimpressed, happy, etc.
      Of course, this is also true of live-action TV and film in some ways. Actors tend to exaggerate their emotions compared to real life (what a lot of people call 'good acting' is really 'most acting'), and dialogue is often unrealistically DRAMATIC! But cartoon depictions are even more blatant.
      There's also a longstanding tendency of people with ASDs to be into imaginary worlds, e.g. fantasy and science fiction. Those are common genres for anime and cartoons to deal with, because it's a lot easier and cheaper to draw an alien planet than it is to film it in live action.
      Just a thought. Dunno if there's any truth in it.

    • @helenestiernstrand6575
      @helenestiernstrand6575 2 роки тому +4

      I think its because animé allows for play w roles. It doesnt derive fr christian culture but fr japaneese which has a complete different cultural heritage.

    • @vir00
      @vir00 2 роки тому +4

      Anime is simplified in information (color palette, depth in background and imperfections or details) and condensed in the plot and perception of a moment in time all the time (almost every frame is hangable on the wall as a painting on its own).
      The women are hyper feminine and men a bit too. The beauty of the style and the alternative world it creates is more enjoyable then reality and continual suspension of disbelief can in my opinion rewire your perceptions of what the world should be like or where (in this case who) you would like to be.

    • @minuishaq631
      @minuishaq631 2 роки тому +4

      Yet it seems to western people it has this affect on and not in the east

    • @hellyeah_ellajane
      @hellyeah_ellajane 2 роки тому +2

      I too often wonder about this. I’m not super into anime but I love “Berserk” (both the manga and the 1997 anime adaptation). The exploration of supposedly “gendered” traits displayed in the main characters is fascinating.
      Griffin, one of the leading male characters is *extremely* feminine (it is implied that this may stem from childhood sexual abuse), and he eventually becomes the ultimate villain. His counterpart, Guts, is the epitome of masculinity. Despite being selfless and the ultimate mercenary, Guts cannot save his friends from the nightmare Griffin concocts.
      Casca, the main female character, is also very masculine: short hair, wears armor, fights like hell, puts herself in danger to protect her friends. The only other female role is that of Princess Charlotte, who is simpering, gullible, and quite shallow.
      It’s peculiar to me that the “good” characters are portrayed as brutally and unapologetically masculine, whereas the “bad” characters possess many unappealing feminine traits. Makes me wonder how popular Berserk is amongst the gender-/neuro-divergent crowd…

  • @Knuck_Knucks
    @Knuck_Knucks 2 роки тому +2

    interesting. Thanks.

  • @reformedzoomer
    @reformedzoomer Рік тому +3

    I realize this is a serious video, but....
    Tell me you're Slovenian without telling me you're Slovenian.

  • @robertpatter5509
    @robertpatter5509 2 роки тому +1

    Interesting. As for emotions. Does it go something like this?
    Man: " I am Master and Commander of the emotions. Like a ship. "
    Autogenephilia: "I am the ship being commanded. I am not the Master and Commander"
    Is this the case here?
    I do wonder if these kinds of people want to "liberate" themselves. Almost like self loathing in a way.
    I would expect them to have high abstract reasoning.
    But to a much higher degree than most.
    "I think X therefore I can be X because that's what I want"
    The lie of I can be anything I want.

  • @bretadams7474
    @bretadams7474 2 роки тому

    143: Methinks they doth protest too much....

  • @fatoumata7624
    @fatoumata7624 Рік тому +1

    AG is very sexual.
    He does talk at all about sexuality.
    Hence he never had AG.

    • @metatechnologist
      @metatechnologist 9 місяців тому

      He sounds trans. For me an example of an AGP is Lia Thomas. I don't think trans want to be disruptive like that.

  • @NinjaKittyBonks
    @NinjaKittyBonks 2 роки тому

    *THIS PODCAST PART OF A SERIES ON THIS CHANNEL* ua-cam.com/play/PLRdayXEOwuMFyH-mBwSdI3L2cu4VLznTf.html

  • @violetstameski664
    @violetstameski664 2 роки тому +2

    When will we ever find out what causes this debilitating condition?

    • @sharifsalem
      @sharifsalem 2 роки тому +3

      We know many of the causes, he mentions several issues that may have added to it in the first 20 minutes.

    • @serpentofdays
      @serpentofdays 2 роки тому +11

      Usually porn use, internalised homophobia and BDD iirc

    • @violetstameski664
      @violetstameski664 2 роки тому

      @@sharifsalem Can you share what those causes are?

    • @katieandnick4113
      @katieandnick4113 2 роки тому +8

      My hypothesis is that their naturally fragile male ego was badly damaged, starting from infancy probably. Imagine a very naturally sensitive boy, who is observant, and takes what other people say to and around him to heart. Imagine this boy has a mother who adheres to very strict gender roles, whether she admits this or not, and possibly a father who fits the stereotypical male role very well. This boy cries when he scrapes his knee, maybe tries rough and tumble play with his peers, but only gets picked on by them, and then comes home, and is told by his mother and father that, if he were a real boy, and not a little sissy, he would not be picked on. Everyday, with every sign of sensitivity he shows, his mother(I specify mother because mothers are the most important person in the life of a child) tells him he should have been born a girl. Maybe she makes fun of his body, his hair, tells him no girl will ever date him, etc. He could also have a sensitive father, to whom his mother does the same thing. It really doesn’t take much to damage the ego/self/identity of a male child, often beyond repair. I’d be curious about how many of the younger AGPs have an ADHD diagnosis, as the inattentive type correlates highly with emotional sensitivity and even dysregulation. To be clear, when I refer to him as very sensitive, I do not mean “pre homosexual”, which is often the first thing that pops into people’s minds when you say that. And you cannot ask these men where they believe their AGP comes from, and expect to get an accurate answer. They are all living in a sort of dissociative state, completely out of touch with reality. Their mothers took their identity as a male away from them as children, and if they were to acknowledge that she is the cause of their perversion, they’d be giving her even more power. It’s much easier, and makes them feel more in control, to believe that they just developed it out of nowhere. Males have a tendency to sexualize trauma, as sex equals power to men. In his subconscious, may run the thought of “you’re right, mom, I’m not a boy! Im a girl, and it’s soooo hot!!!” It’s always been very common for AGPs to go into some sort of very masculine line of work, at least historically, before coming out. The military is a great example. They are trying so hard to prove their masculinity to themselves and those around them, and very often if they are married, they are with women who are just like their mothers, who constantly belittle them and emasculate them, no matter what they do. It’s possible that they weren’t even outwardly sensitive as children, but their mothers knew what hurts men the most. This would help explain how much these men hate women. I definitely won’t discount the possibility of sexual abuse, most likely perpetrated by a man. AGPs get SRS more than other trans people, which is indicative of a major dissociation from their bodies, and again, these men are very dissociated. Men are naturally more dissociated from their bodies, but SRS is next level. Blanchard thinks they were just born this way, which I find ridiculous. Transitioning may also be a way of “getting back” at his mother(subconsciously of course) for destroying his identity. I can’t think of a much better punishment for a mother who is so angry about her son “acting like a girl”, then to literally turn her son into a girl. Feminists won’t like this hypothesis, because in their minds, women shouldn’t be held responsible for anything that happens to their kids.

    • @minuishaq631
      @minuishaq631 2 роки тому +3

      @@katieandnick4113 yes I think Blanchard depsite being hated by transwomen has a lot of sympathy and let's be honest pity for them. Which clouds his judgement like nearly all trans supporters.

  • @supermamabee9143
    @supermamabee9143 2 роки тому

    I am interview with Jon Ulher would be great