Sociopathic Narcissists Who Team Up With Other Sociopaths
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- Опубліковано 29 тра 2024
- Do narcissists like to connect with other narcissists? Dr. Les Carter describes how sociopathic narcissists in particular like to create an atmosphere of group-think, so they often seek out like-minded sociopaths. Your task is to understand their tendencies so you will not be swept into their dysfunctions.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his UA-cam channel, his videos have received more than 100 million views.
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When it comes to this topic, this is as bad as it gets. There is nothing like being the target of a group of sociopath narcs. That's when you know you are dealing with pure evil.
So true! And they have a way of making YOU feel like a problem.
I have been struggling with them for 24 years and there is no help in South Africa to get away from them
😢yup
My spouse and his brother would team up against me!!!! Awful
Hyenas hunt in packs.
This happens in workplace settings. There are more than one toxic individual in a dysfunctional workplace.
They make a workplace chaotic. 😨 RUN! 🏃🏃♂🏃♀💨💨
And internationally
As the stories go, in such settings they come at least in couple then expand it, like a spreading cancer.
BTW, what happened to the 4 Idahoo was a group that commited that slain, is so plain to see!
They're especially toxic invthe personnel department - they've infiltrated there for decades - they guide their mates via that position.
My sociopath sister married an equally narcissistic sociopath. They enable & encourage eachother’s evil behavior. It’s frightening.
lol
It can be hard to comprehend that people like this exist. They can be intimidating but if you understand who they are, you know they are lost and empty individuals
History is full of the consequences of their power hunger and megalomania and yet so many people find them attractive. Sad and frightening.
Hello and a huge hug to everyone who grew up in a family of sociopathic narcissists and somehow managed to survive these demons. We're kindred. ❤
Thank you so much 🥰🥰🥰
Amazing to know there’s more survivors out there. Sending hugs 🫂
This is our year, 2024! These toxic demons are being exposed everywhere.
That’s me too. Hugs
Of course sociopaths find each other- their demons recognize each other. 👿
As they say “Like attracts like”
All are good 😊
Don't bring magical thinking into your relationships. Demons don't exist.
Collective sociopathy is real and there are communities and professions which are full of sociopaths who pride themselves on their group think. They are gangs preying and bullying decent people. We have to stay away from those predatory evil individuals and refuse to have anything to do with them. Nothing. Thank you dr Carter ❤ Dignity, Respect and Civility. ❤ God bless you❤
Legion.
“I don’t care.” Is the red flag to look out for. They say it and they mean it.
If you utter that phrase to them, they freak out.
LOL🙃
When this one boss (who I have ever after referred to as "Dave 'Psycho-Bastard-From-Hell' Shaw") fired me, over the phone, I founbd myself finally saying to him, "You're NUTS." He responded: "I DON'T CARE." Yeah. I'm sure he meant it.
What one said when I explained the importance of recycling. That they could leave the planet better for their grandchildren.
@@ccdm515 Sounds like that person had a very selfish, myopic, irresponsible, "don't care about the next generation" attitude.
The understanding that narcissists team up, birds-of-a-feather. explains a great deal about our dysfunctional societies. Institutions are inherently narcissistic, being all mask and no soul, and the narcissistic dominate institutional life, unhampered by empathy. We are ruled by the worst among us. Empathy is the heart of our humanity, but we are ruled by the least human among us. What's a human to do?
Pack Mentality destroys experiences for anyone outside of the conniving cluster clique. The saying goes: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", well only the first 1000 times, then there's the final straw, then you're broken.
VOTE BLUE DOWN BALLOT
The Truthful Understanding's of our Real Realities must be brought to light so that the Global Populous may be awakened ' allowing it to bring forth a change that becomes manifested .
I like your handle. Excellent for a person who feels more comfortable alone or in small groups.😊
I've always called sociopathic, "high school mentality". Seen it alot in special groups and organizations.
Not all but most.
Firehouse
VFW
Legion
Police
I hated seeing it in school, and am definitely disappointed in society, seeing it continue after school years. Grow up!
Do onto others, as you'd have them do onto you.
Health care as well is loaded with different type of narcissistic personalities very very toxic environment
Our world now. Very scary
Yes, we need to learn how to deal with them effectively, that is without getting sick, financially ruined etc. because total avoidance is probably impossible for many. 🙁Coping skills are needed.
@@mariaawake4502 Thank you. Yes I agree. Good people need to band together and be supportive of eachother and cooperate to keep toxicity out and keep informed about how narcissists and other cluster B's operate.
Exactly, unfortunately, some Sociopaths are really good faking their real identity and intentions. It is very common the lack of honesty, integrity or empathy to others. Good in manipulation and division, they just would do whatever to get what they want. And never would recognize their mistakes or real intentions.
And as he mention in the video:
Real good people NEVER
would do anything wrong or affect anyone.
Real good people NEVER
Would team up to affect anyone, or do bullying or anything wrong to anyone.
That is the huge difference between Healthy Team that Never would team up to affect any one.
Healthy team, with healthy individuals, will help others, would do good things and help to others, making others happy and contributing well to have a better community and society.
when don't narcs team up with other spiritually empty vessels? lol they go together like poop & TP.
There are so many women murdered, ( and men) who are in toxic relationships with these types of narcissistic, and when they decide they are leaving, it can get nasty, and violent. You are not allowed to leave them.
Stay safe get some safe strong support around you.
Thanks Dr. C helpful information as always, I personally don't need the therapy as nothing wrong with my mental health thankfully, I hope I can assist others somehow. I am a strong person so those idiots that try to pull me down are far weaker, I pity them.
True
Sociopaths will support each others lies. I found when I left my narc (sociopath) husband I also had to let go all the people he associated with. They all supported each other's delusions.
Birds of a feather flock together 😢
I have noticed in RL narcissists tend to congregate and flock together often feeding off eat other or work together unconsciously to feed off others
RL?
Like comm un ists do
@@An-meiRL is Real Life. Some use IRL to add the “In” before.
@@An-mei
I asked Mr Google. He said that usually it is internet slang-parlance for Real Life, usually as opposed to the internet (life).
Anyhow, Mr Google also said that RL could represent other acronyms in American English.
@@lishmahlishmah Thank you 🌹 I'm not up on all of the acronyms.
I've seen this in government. Lots of entitled, all- knowing, unempathetic, unionized individuals in positions and jobs that are protected from discipline or firing. Sad but this occurs in all government sectors.
“We don’t have anyone like that in our current world do we? Oh yes we do.” Such a diplomatic way of saying what we’ve noticed especially the past few years.
Sadly, we as therapists do not get enough training with these disorders. We do not get enough training with personality disorders, especially malignant narcs and sociopaths. Thank you for your work!
Malignant Narcs and Sociopaths don't typically seek help, only their victims do. Prob'ly why there's not much training on them. You'd be working on them for endless years too, because they're so wicked, I don't know if they can un-evil.
How many good hearted, non-pathologizing, conscientious, ever loyal, forgiving and patient therapists have been married to a covert narcissist? That was me, always giving him the benefit of the doubt, staying true to my vows all the while being exploited and betrayed. The first training on narcissism and gaslighting I attended was advertised two months after I filed for divorce after being married for 44 years. That was the missing information I was constantly looking for. A terrible void in our education.
There is more to it than just nar behavior as the entire narrative,
Nature or nurture , people have to want to change too like healthier ways of behavior for their self, exploring the whole just of nar is on the contrary, it's about choice as well, there is more though to explore not just narcissism behaviors
@@charlettemikulka3819 Yes, me too. That's how I was introduced and educated- through my own experience and trauma with my Narc fiancé. Now, I specialize in helping victims get out of pathological relationships, in a kind and empathic way.
@@Yellow-oc4sl Narc's do not want to change and they never will. Everything is on a spectrum though, and some Narc's can change behavior, but it's usually only to benefit them. However, if you're dealing with a Malignant Narcissist, Sociopath, then there is no hope for change.
I feel like you're describing someone who's been watching my every move online and posting slanderous content about me. I am always astonished at how many people cheer this person on and rally around them. They laugh about it. It's fun for them. It's disgusting. Thank you for helping me understand. It takes their power away.
My oldest narc. sociopath brother has spent a lifetime at degrading people online with lies. It is really ugly and terrible. He is a thoroughly sick person. I think you do have to tell your children and family about these demented people that are out there. You have to protect yourself.
ahhhhh the insanity. been there still am
if it helps, try to operate off diff devices, change up your interests so they cant learn you
and neva eva research or reach out for help (law enforcement etc) on the 'involuntarily shared devices'🤫
happy healing💫
Absolutely they do, they attract like minded sociopaths.. and very often they turn on each other! Whatever fits the situation for the more mentally ill, impulsive Narcissist.. and usually that's the best scenario, let them do each other in. Continue to gray rock and watch from afar.
Yes, EXACTLY!! I believe eventually the narc will turn on their nearest & dearest. I've seen this at work...I just shake my head & sometimes feel like I'm in grade school. I avoid & grey rock as much as I can. Dr. C. THANKS SO MUCH for all that you do!! You are so appreciated!! and I hope you get better!
Yup.. they are deeply jealous and their desire to conquer doesn’t stop just because they meet another LKQ… it’s purely transactional to them. Yuck
I find that Collective Sociopathy happens often, when groups of people who do drugs get together and the "leader" is a Sociopathic Narcissist. The leader seems to set the tone of how everyone in the group will behave and the using of drugs makes it easier to rationalize and justify everyone's behavior. Because everyone is impaired, no one sees what is happening until something goes wrong. Then, the Narcissist will blame others for what they set in motion.
My soon-to-be ex-husband is a diagnosed covert and VERY malignant narcissist. He also fits the profile and description of a Dark Triad to a "T". The sociopathic and psychotic things he said were the scariest things I've ever heard in my entire life.
ditto. not an ex (though i've had at least 1 sociopathic ex, who nearly killed me). at the time i thought they were just joking or expressing frustration in a really dark way. even scarier is what thoughts they might have but DON'T express.
Far more scary when that is a controlling parent offers to put a contract on our exes' head during the era which could be best described as being "The Troubles" and then when we refuse accuses us of continuing to try and protect them as if that is somehow all the proof he needed to decide we are continuing to be his wayward daughter. Scarier when a longstanding date says something very scary to us and then when we confide in a parent [or 2] about it they only say we should have taken it as being only a fun way to offer a compliment to us while we are coping with diovrce. Dating anyone at all as a divorcee after going through all that seems like way too precarious of an acivity for us to engage in unless seeing our exes move far away from us only because they prefer country living and then only after we have obtained an annulment and have changed our last name to our maiden name or whatever other last name to go with the title Ms. on any documents which will be otherwise have a 0 affixed to it to be processed while we are not saying a word about what all we have gone through there.
And they chuckle at others pain
...Been there sister. Be careful, appease and stay safe.
Yes I hear you 😔 When I began to hear such horrific things from my child it was the scariest time in my life and we're far from free. On the contrary, my child has been literally possessed as a regulatory object for my ex and I'm being cut out altogether for 18 months now. I wish you freedom, peace and happiness. We all deserve this 🙏❤️
Going through this AT CHURCH! With choir leadership!!! It’s been hell. My whole life, I sing and I have an outgoing personality….it’s like people hate that. No accountability from them at all. I’ve been gang stalked and mocked. It’s like there is no end to their games and evil schemes.
Church is a pinnacle platform where in god's right hand they can be become secondary psychopaths. God forbid that you are confident rather than broken as directed by the voice in their mind.
Church? Very common. Same people, different environment.
But you keep shining.❤
@@marcirobins5144 Thank you 🙏🏾
Very common. Tale omitted.
I’ve ex this at church….it is the deepest betrayal.
At 2.58, Gus expresses yawning disdain for narcissists who gravitate toward other sociopathic narcissists. I hear you, Sir Gus.
Ugh. How any of us made it out and away from sociopaths is probably hard work and maybe a bit of luck!🍀
The title of this video sums up what it felt like teaching high school in the industrial model of education in the era of smart phones and social media. Many students seemed to seek fresh blood ... other students and teachers to bully - especially online - to make themselves feel powerful and relevant. If only they could channel all that energy and creativity into seeking and promoting what is good, true and beautiful.
Strength in numbers, co-dependency, trauma bond.. all sorta the same idea. The Narc will look for others like them to prop them up. Someone who will believe the lies, and give them a ride around town after they've gotten kicked out of the half-way house.
Sociopathy is on the high end of the spectrum and belongs to Malignant Narcissism.
Ingridients of a Sociopath:
1. Goal: dominance/power
To be favored is very important
2. Theme: "Nobody tells me what to
do!" resistant to others' authority
3. No empathy + disdain for accountability, "I don't care at all how my actions make you feel."
4. No future thinking,
Only this moment/now is important
Sociopaths gravitude towards other Sociopaths, because...
...they like being around common goals.
..."anything goes, we are together."
...they cheer irresponsibility together.
...they like mutual rationalization.
...they like mutual mockery.
...they tend to have a shield of defense.
...they want strength in numbers.
...they feed each other.
...they reinforce each other in their"anything goes"-mentality.
...they like to diminish others together.
》Know what makes sense to you
》》Be a big picture thinker
》》Speak up for yourself
Dr Carter 👨🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈
Hi Roxy. Thank you AGAIN !
Thanks for such good notes...again, Roxy!!
Yes. It's essential to stay being a big picture thinker. They have no future thinking so inevitably things go chaotic. 😦 Thank you for the note as ever. 📓
@@lishmahlishmah You are very welcome, Lishma.
And thanks to you for another response on your comment. Adding to that one: Healing goes step by step: for everyone! A wholer picture you can only get after time but a complete picture is never possible because we haven't got that really big overview like God has. Life has still it's mystery.
@@SurvivingNarcissism Pleased, Dr Carter. And wishing you a great vacation!!!
Now your talking, been watching narcissist channels for years, not hearing that most important spectrum issues very much more needed in these channels.
These people are very real and very dangerous
I bet my ex narc wishes he could team up with other sociopaths. He'd love that.
I've gone through myself, narc gangs up with other narc's against me. Really difficult because they hunt for those who are in a vulnerable position at the time.
Needed this video, so many aha moments. I worked as a receptionist and I had to cooperate with security team - very tough people. They treated me with disrespect, humiliated and insulted me continuously. (Now I understand what I was dealing with.) My therapist recommended to leave that workplace, but my psychiatrist encouraged me to continue and give that people chance, so I stayed. After 5 month I developed depression, anxiety and ended the job burned out. Now I am at home, feeling so sad and empty, but healing.
Guess what? You are a sweet person, and touched many, by setting a kind tone. They are thinking, they wish you were there, to make it easier to go into that sick place. Laurie
Great topic..These types get into positions of power by teaming up.
Yes. They feed off each other. Evil people
Healthy individuals need to start seeking eachother out and cooperate against toxicity a bit more in my opinion.
Freemasons = Men appearing to be benevolent but endless testimonies of their abuses and nepotism proves otherwise.
This is my family. The biggest sociopath wins
You have perfectly, and unfortunately, described my so called husband and his groupies....including some of his immediate family member(s).
Thank you, Dr. Carter. It's nice to know I'm NOT crazy and over thinking this. *sadly*
My husband too. Idk how I made it through the holidays this year but I've decided I'm not doing it anymore. Hopefully this time next year I'll be having a divorce party instead. 🎉
Total waste of time to speak with such toxic people.
Some great analogies here Les. It seems you've perhaps inadvertently described much of the so called leadership in our societies today. The lack of of integrity coupled with the compromised social values, ethics, and principles of our so called leaders is the root cause of most of the issues we have in society today. Sadly, people effect people. The question is whether you are going to have a positive influence on others or a negative one. Good people make a conscious choice to be a positive influence. I appreciate your insights.
The crazy thing in a situation like this is that you can be aware that your values don't mesh and you don't want to do what they are doing (drinking and trash talking those not present, for example) and yet, it can hurt to feel excluded.
Maybe we could find good people that would include us, seems then that exclusion from some situations might be a good thing. It’s good to know who we are. As has been said, know thyself
This explains the enthusiastic flying monkeys. They're all just going along and In my case, ive been declining for ages. The pressure is absurd. It comes from many individuals who seem highly driven. I avoid them as much as possible.
7:00 The next part describes the kind of ganging up on the abused to enable the abuser undermining process in domestic abuse settings. Watch out for this one and steer clear of the triangulating drama provocations. This is when you might want to look at documentation of abuse and legal help.
WOW! That's what my Mother always says - that I'm being judgemental. I didn't let that stick. I would calmly reply that I was being discerning - there is a distinct difference.
Thank you for this clarity of what I went through with my family, and for the supportive information for the stand I had to make for myself. It's all mind-bending and very challenging. Now I have to continue to free myself from the memories, and the hurt they cause as they continue to surface. I'm grateful for the integrity and honesty that I learned...somewhere, so that I wouldn't continue to be ensnared into my family's mentality and treatment. Thank you for this message.
Dr. C. Thank u for addressing this. It’s a description of my husband and his family and friends against me!! they exclude me from events and talk about me behind my back constantly they have all been together. But what sad is they all think they have a social life but they have none except with just each other. Very narrow minded, sad lifestyle to live.
Most enlightening. It seems as though all the violence, sex and supernatural stuff on TV series and movies encourages these attitudes of licentiousness and bloodlust and conditions us not to be shocked.
I feel like we started to desensitize our kids about 32 years ago with violent video games and, and society has done it much better worse since. They almost make it a “ thing “ or exciting to be horrible to people. Even prison members can be a celebrity. Just nuts.
@@susanv1535 yes and attitudes like vindictiveness and revenge are presented as justifiable or even right. As Dr Carter says, " the good psychopaths killing the bad psychopaths".
I remember when wanting to look at people naked or having sex was considered immoral ... terms like "voyeurism," "peeping Tom" and "promisicuous" are no longer acceptable, and TV and movies make going to bed after a first date normal. Happy to be old fashioned and prefer movies where people keep their clothes on, don't swear and don't beat anyone up! 😆
It frightens me that this is what my brother-in-law is doing with his young adult son. He is encouraging his son to exploit women and do other things because he can get away either way it. I am glad my children and other nieces and nephews find this cringe worthy.
Can you not report them to the police to stop it before a woman is irreversibly hurt-? This is very bad and very difficult for you but if you don't try stop them it could backfire on you. . .
@@Bianca-sw5id they live in a different city and the police have no authority to stop this sort of behaviour
„If you let me, I will exploit you” This was the reply of the narcissist in my life, when I gently confessed to him, “I feel exploited…” thank you, Dr. C. ❤mutual rationalization with his siblings …
Well said! ❤
Testing.. setting you up.
Sounds like you are talking about my entire family.
Great topic! The most dramatic case of this I ever dealt with involved a couple I worked for in the 90's. She was a covert narc and he was openly antisocial and selfish. They had a sick, psuedo marriage. Their business turned out to be a work-at-home scam and they kept at it for so long that eventually Dateline NBC ran an episode about them! When I quit after realizing they were con artists, the woman exploded into a rage at me projecting all of her sins onto me. Until then I had thought she was my friend, that's how good she was at fooling people. In spite of the show they continued to run their scam for years. I looked them up recently and the woman had moved to another state and created a whole new persona. Eerily, her partner died in 2022 and she died last year. Both were relatively young. I think they had a demonic soul tie. Her new friends praised her as a wonderful, remarkable person and set up a GoFundMe for her cancer treatments. I assume her new circle was comprised of narcs like herself or gullible people like I once was.
10:48 A mother who neglected her children and her husband did too, asked me to be friends with them and I said, "No thanks. I don't like that lifestyle." And she got really mad.
Good for you.
There are bullies everywhere. There are Narc. Gangs. Whole systems, Agencies can be toxic run or controlled by manipulation, control, toxicity. This illustrates why voices for good matter! If evil can be in numbers, so can Healthy!!
Thank you Dr. Carter
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Sounds like most historical leaders.
At 2.46, Gus scratches the troublesome narcissistic flea from his life. Bless you, Gus.
😂😂😂😂
1 mom, 1 sister, 2 brothers = the dark tetrad. I pray to God that I never see them or have to deal with them again.
AWESOME VIDEO! Unfortunately, having had experience with narcissists definitely has made me realize that I DO NOT fit in with most narcissistic “packs or tribes” of people….be it family or friends. Hi to Gus!
And YES, so THANKFUL for God leading me to you and Team Healthy ❤
sociopath are cruel sadistic liars without conscience
YES!! 🎯🎯🎯
Glad you covered this. Yes, they definitely do group together..in lowlife criminal networks, etc too. It's so crazy shocking how sick, clearly very troubled, desperate and messed up these people really are. Yeah, definitely no morals and they absolutely neeeeed dominance to feel in control of themselves. No happy or healthy people ever act in any of these ways. It's pathetic.
Some other examples of collectives of Narcissists engaging in this behaviour would be: those that publicly badmouth their ex-partners and alienate their children from them, and; collectives of people of the same star sign that celebrate their birthdays year after year often with alcohol and over the top self indulgence.
Also interested in psychopathic narcissists since mine threatened me in a veiled way from the beginning by talking about what he’d done in the past to others who crossed him & of course this was not as awful as how he hurt me eventually but much worse as he’s escalating abusive behaviors
Report the arse and let them know they don't worry you, a bully is a coward especially the online ones, hiding behind screens and false identities, no one scares me so bring it on.
Run!!! You know you’re in danger, follow your instinct and run!
For 3-1/2 years, my 2 (NOW-EX!) home care clients seemed to take turns, on who was the reasonable one, and who was being a cranky pain. But after the older guy was in the hospital, then rahab, when I came back, within TWO DAYS, they started "double-teaming" me. I figured the younger guy must have decided the ONLY way to appease his "boss" was to follow his lead and do and say whatever he was told to.
I let over-confidence & dedication blind me to common sense. That assignment never should have gone on for so long.
I don’t want to have anything to do with sociopathic narcissists who thrive on the „ anything goes mentality”. I want to be involved with people who appreciate and value dignity, respect and civility and where the community is built on mutual respect and compassion, love and honesty. Thank you dr Carter❤ God bless you❤
I just lost my job because I turned one down and he gathered reinforcements. I was so good at my job and I work hard.
Not only did I walk away from an entire family and a lifetime of my own behaviors…it keeps finding me.
I’m exhausted. I’m fixing to lose my home.
We have an entire world of these people.
And let's not forget the dysfunctional toxic sociopaths family they learn from and lower their standards to..Dr. Carter wish you had been someone I had learned from 30 yrs ago but hopefully the younger will learn and stop before they go through heartache
My oldest brother is a sociopath narcissist. Also my elderly mom is a covert narc. My brother does not talk to anyone in our family. You cannot trust him for anything. My narc. mother has also been a lifetime of unwellness too. I have to live by myself and not get involved in order to maintain my health and inner peace. You where accurate on all of this, Dr. C. I appreciate this lesson.
Ya now this is crazy. My entire extended family is FILLED with them. My mom, dad and siblings. My husdband always calls it 10 against 1 being that I am the empath. The head puppet master has finally died so were dwindling down but there are still plenty more of them.
You watch. The worst of them will step up and fill the void.
Unfortunately, that's true. They're opportunists for control. Control, control, control. @@notaclue822
@@notaclue822 I think your right. I am just waiting and on guard.
My ex MIL was abandoned by my ex when he was 15 and he didn't speak to her for 2 years. Next generation my ex has alienated my young child from me and ex MIL is reveling in being on the winning team this time around. Zero empathy whatsoever for the pain and destruction caused to so many lives and my poor baby is stuck in the role of being responsible for managing their emotional regulation. They must be kept happy so I must be cut out of the life of my child along with the rest of my family. It's sick, sinister and diabolical. Sadly millions of families are in the same situation and this is not only allowed but enabled by the services meant to protect children and their abused loving healthy parents. You, Dr C, are a guiding light who keeps me living in the real world and provides hope. Huge gratitude for all you do 🙏❤️
Thank You Dr Carter
The more time goes on...
In my opinion, the more Malignant these narcissist become
This was a very interesting and enlightening video. My narcissistic spouse joined the local volunteer fire department 25 years ago, and this describes perfectly the destructive dynamic that the organization involved. Drinking, debauchery, etc. Good old boys club to the max.
This clarity is so amazing , thank you Dr. C . You have described the group think that is so insidious. You have described my husband who has facilitated this group think with my entire family. Of course I don’t go along with their agendas an have been ostracized by them all. Four adult children and six grandchildren. I was raised by two strong narcissistic parents and was groomed for my covert husband. It has been your pod casts that have directed me to the therapist and rigorous work it has taken over the last five years that have allowed God to place the wisdom in my heart to survive and even thrive within this toxicity. I now have more peace and the joy of life has returned . For I know who God created me to be and simply have given myself permission to live in that truth regardless of what others think or say or act upon . I am so grateful to you for your amazing tenacity in making us aware of these pitiable individuals who have chosen this darkness as life .
I am so sorry, that sounds incredibly painful. May continue your healing journey, it sounds like you are blossoming!
I am curious, did you have to move out of your home to break free from their control and then carry on with an improved life, or are you continuing to live with the Narcissists/sociopath and (some how) keep your head above water while there?
My ex died from rare HPV altho he and has friends call it brain and spine carcinoma. He had both I may be the only who knows. I highly recommend if you are have multiple partners you read the CDC. Sexual disease are rampant. Men especially. I nagged my ex for regular check ups. He never did. Men need vaccination like women for HPV before 45. I have long been on the path of devotion. Like children w/o boundaries. So sad. 🙏🏾🌹
This is spot on Dr. C! Thank you. You have helped me again with understanding the toxic individuals that I have been around over the years. This clears up so much more for me than before when it comes to my ex and his family. I pray that I can get custody of my children and get them out of that horrible environment.
I know this one well!!
It is the dynamic between my covert sociopath ex and his sociopath/psychopath mother. Whenever they were together they would plan cruel and abusive behaviors with me as their target. All because I didn't want to call her "mom" after I married her son. After my children were in the picture she actually tried to tell me that she was their decision maker because they were her son's children and I was not the decision maker for them. Yet I was the only one raising them while their Dad refused to be engaged unless he needed to use them as pawns. I had to set her straight several times through the years, but the two of them would always find new ways to play me against each of the other and blame me for whatever they each didn't like about the way things were.
I spent my entire marriage protecting the children from both of their manipulative, cruel, toxic, and intentionally abusive behaviors!
i have CPTSD and i sure can have some of these symptoms.
Wow! This explains much of what happened in my most recent workplace. I will never regret standing up and standing against it.
Garland Nixon, a political analyst, just went through all of the DSM requirements for narcissism and compared them to the actions of the US government.
Most of the time a sociopath does not need to team up with other sociapaths when there is so many of us biased human beings around who are convenient enough for them to successfuly lie to. For example when accusing us of only gossiping and lying after we have reported a crime to authoritiers which they have done. All of us human beings have biases while not being perfect. for example people who have a bias against all people who are no longer virgins and/or who are divorced too. A fact of life in our imperfect world which is more apparent in some communities than in others. One of the most troubling situations to be in when being associated with someone who as it turns out is being prideful about how they continue to have a marriage contract with someone who is continuing to be tied to them most only for financial and social connection reasons while they are looking for a better income enough to live on their own. Another troubling situation to be in less so is when we are divorced while not wanting to date anyone at the time around other people who cannot fathom how someone could live a healthy alternative lifestyle like that after obtaining a divorce. They cannot fathom how someone could avoid committing adultery while being divorced regardless if for example that person has become a decent priest or a decent nun. If the biased person can understand how a healthy lifestyle can exist for a person who is divorced while associating with the sociopath whom we divorced often they cannot believe how someone could be nice and honorable to them after that sociopath has been horrible to us for a long time during our marriage to them and so they believe we have lied about what they have done to us. Unless a person has experienced narcissistic abuse in a romantic relationship themselves most do not get it when we go to them for help. The truth is people can become more sociopathic as time goes on while spending a lot of time with a malignant narcissist when being in the malignant narcissists good books only because they are useful to the malignant narcissist.
❤😊 Thank you! Your message is so very clear and well stated!! You're a gifted communicator and this topic is timely, necessary and most important for our society. Sending you positive thoughts and gratitude.
Thank you so much for this video. I love being able to hear this be said over and over again. Sanity, reality and goodness. The world at large is in so much denial about what is OK behaviour and wise behaviour. I feel so happy listening to this when the gaslighting in the world that this kind of behaviour is OK just does my head in.
Abuse can take many forms...
This is true specially at a work place , in some ministries it's just worse
For example: a malignant narcissistic husband who is being divorced from his wife for spousal abuse… perhaps the wife has a restraining order against him and she lives in a small town. That narcissistic husband with psychopathic tendencies is going to seek out friends in high places who have the same tendencies he has. For example, a policeman who has a grudge against his ex-wife and who also has psychopathic tendencies, the ex husband will use that policeman as much as he can to get away with as much as he can while continuing to harass and abuse his wife. Those narcissistic males may collude for a while together and enjoy getting away with what they can (making the ex wife’s life hell and perhaps even plotting her death), but eventually, like he said in the video, the relationship will fizzle because, always, one narcissist has to be top dog (or one up and the other has to be one down) and that’s just not going to happen when two narcissists are together.
Wow.. that’s chilling to think about.
He said “ Healthy individuals won’t be envolved to hurt individuals or do anything wrong to anyone, won’t be part of affecting anyone “ “ Collective Sociopaths is a real thing “ “I’m a team healthy and I treat others with dignity, respect, and civility “
Real good decent people do not fake to be healthy, they actually will do and be good to others as themselves.
With no manipulation or lies involved. And a healthy individual won’t hurt anyone, would be professional, ethical and honest.
Those I've encountered can't do joined-up thinking. They won't understand why what they do doesn't get the response they expect but won't think the response is caused by them
Thank you Dr. Carter, and I hope you'll have a Blessed and Peaceful New Year
My 60yr old son has not spoken to me in 11mths it has almost broken me I really think he's trying to slowly kill me his adult children have turned away from him ever since his wife left him over 20yrs ago he's been trying to replace her and 6 women later he's no better off cuts his family out everytime the things he's said to me has been like sticking a knife in me I'm 80 and with help of my councillor and your videos I'm doing the best I can 😢
Love and hugs ❤ you matter your loved❤
@user-fk8ru8xh9z thank you so much its so hard he's my only child he has broken all our hearts 💕
Excellent video. What I find so interesting about these types is while they’re conscienceless with regard to you, when it comes to their families they tend to be extremely protective and ostensibly moral. I assume they do this because they consider their immediate family to be narcissistic extensions and therefore entitled to top of the line treatment, but if there’s another explanation , Dr. C, I’d love to know.
Interesting. They preach morality but do they 'do' what it takes for them to succeed?
Great observation! I’ve witnessed this dynamic as well. My oldest sister, for example, was a nasty and controlling individual but her children were treated as extensions of her ego. Sadly, they are well into adulthood now and have taken on her selfish, do whatever it takes attitude.
@@lacecurtainirish That is interesting. I was thinking from the standpoint of having a daughter with entitled and aggressive tendencies. When I and my youngers went to my husband with complaints he reluctantly addressed her. She stated she wouldn't change. He reiterated what she said. That was it.
It left the four youngest and myself to deal with it. Let me just say, it never had to be this way. Every day that goes by I am reminded. She still bullies me and dominates them.
Here are some family scapegoats they can dump on. Double standards and their kids walk on water even if in jail.
Until someone in that family or group they seem to value messes up,fails to provide something wanted,makes life changes not approved of,squires a mental problem …
Then,they will have a go at their own. It is absolutely group think and IMO cult like. It does seem like some do like to present as high moral authority while doing what isn’t (such as illegal activities,slander,stalking etc).
It is sociopathic. It comes to a point that the sociopathy is so obvious there is no denying it (to yourself).
Ouch! 😮
Discouraging. I used to be horrible always on attack. Huge leaps improving my attitude over 15 years. However, there’s no one like me at work. I release accountability and zero tolerance for anyone not doing their best. Im seen as a jerk and trouble maker. The best it gets is when someone tells others “He just really cares about this program.” I do, but it’s my self esteem and extreme avoidance of letting anyone be better than me. That would allow them to be critical of me. No one gets to be critical of me. Im too damn grandiose. Why aren’t there others like me?
Dr. Carter, bless your heart you need vitamin C and fluids! Thank you making this video even when you may not be feeling so well! Wonderful insight! You have helped me so much through my divorce journey
Thanks, the allergy counts here in Texas are very high!!
Dr. C to Team Healthy: "Know what makes sense to you." 😊🕊❤DRC!
#TeamHealthy
Geez,as if enablers aren't bad enough.
Oh, you could not have made a more perfect video describing my situation. What has me the most heartbroken/terrified/hopeless is that my children are caught up in a mess I have no power to get them out of. So much Damage has been done. It hurts so badly that I didn't understand my situation, or these people for what they were and wasted my motherhood, jumping through hoops that kept moving and multiplying each time I got close.....and waiting on them to one day be reasonable. I'm a chicken shit codependent and addict. (So are my parents and my ex husband. I'm addition to their other pathology). And my kids have been damaged while I've been demonized and alienated. It's my fault I didn't see this. It was obvious all along. I would have done well and succeeded just to spite them. Now I'm clean 50 days, Off of meth and trying to piece this life that I never had back together into some semblance of normal. And I can't prove a damn thing be abuse noone will listen to me they are so good at looking good
Great talk, Dr. C. Take care of that voice. Hopefully, you can rest it on vacation. Have fun! We love you!
We need a video of how to handle that when you're a child and your teacher is one of those.. sadists gravitate towards that job because children are an easy target and are scared to say anything
This is happening currently with my narcissist of an ex, and one of our daughter-in-laws, of whom no one has ever liked. So thankful that she and my son have no children. After the ex's smear campaign against me, he teamed up with this daughter-in-law, of whom has always been envious of the relationship I "had" with my son, and he eventually moved in with her and our son. The man has basically blew thru his retirement and can't afford to live on his own, so he strategically worked himself into this position, as he had already alienated them from me. Karma is catching up.
Turns out the daughter-in-law has picked up a drug habit, and is basically worthless. Word thru the grapevine is that the ex doesn't care for her, since she's turned into a really worthless human being. Now he's stuck there with her, living out what I had warned him about, years ago before his smear campaign against me. I've yet to be allowed to offer up my side of what happened, after two+ years, and feel that I was cheated by all of them involved in the catastrophe.
I have no desire to extend an olive branch to my two sons that failed miserably in hearing both sides, or the truth, and yet so seemingly took the side of the father that has done them wrong, so many times.