What You Need To Know About Sociopathic Narcissists
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- Опубліковано 2 січ 2022
- Sociopaths are a special version of narcissists, known for their reckless disregard for others. With no moral compass they can be especially difficult. Dr. Les Carter gives a clear description of this pattern of narcissism with the warning that they are not to be included inside your inner circle of influencers.
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You’ve described him to a T. 36 years married to this man. I left him, and now I’m trying to sift through the kids and their narcissistic issues. I’m 64 and for the first time in my life, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Woohoo!
Me too. Starting over at 60 after being a stay at home Mom and supporting him so he could focus on his career. I was nothing more than a glorified personal assistant. It’s so hard to wrap your head around.
Lynne Haeberle, I'm 66 and just like you. Western NY. USA. Nice to know it's not just me...
I was 59 when I started over after 37 yrs married to a narcissist! I’m 73 now and gloriously happy!
God Bless you all 👍
Me as well im 62 starting over after 22yrs
These people are extremely dangerous and very hard to get rid of.
I'm dealing with a group of them.
We need to be taught about these monsters when we are 12
Most people get married young with no knowledge of healthy relationships
Most women ruin their lives
You are so spot on with those words. Well said.
Another day without the narc....
it's like a spring day....
and a walk in the park.
You may be alone and that is okay .....
but WITH the narc...
you're alone everyday.
You inspired this poem and a fair amount of recovery like always thank you so much my man🤘🖤🕉
I'll remember that!
Thank you for your comment :)
Love it!! Robert, we are alone but NOT LONELY 🙏
That’s inspired, so true and self respecting! 👍
Love this!
Sociopaths are more common than we think. Thank you for your aupportive message dr Carter.
A lot are in health 'care' imo
'Relax a little'
'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'
just thinking of some things a sociopath would say lol
I’m of the opinion that a lot of human beings in 2024 ar eon the cluster b spectrum.
“You’re there to prop them up” and “they couldn’t care less about your humanity “ stood out to me in the commentary.
Sad, but true. Dr. C
You are, they don’t!
I was...they didn’t!
Took me far too long to recognize that!
May Your Blessings Be Many and Your Troubles Few...You deserve it after what they put you through!
Live life happy 😃
Me too 🤦♀️after 40 years I thought I was more then that 😒now I know I wasn’t it saddens my heart ❤️🩹I couldn’t have loved this person anymore than what I did 🤦♀️I use to think I wasted my love on him 😒I know now you can’t waste authentic love ❤️ if anything came of it he got a good taste of real genuine love ❤️ his loss 💖
Narcissists gather around sociopaths because sociopaths are bold and shameless.
If they even smell a new support system, they run in full determination to destroy that as well.
My mom has done the silent treatment my whole life. I just learned recently that it's called stonewalling.
When everything you thought was "normal" is actually indicating severe mental illness. I've had to learn as a middle aged woman what normal actually is.
It feels so immature. But so mean.
Going thru it now and my therapist helped me learn about my narcs stone walling and gaslighting . Mine said if he doesn’t yell and get angry he’s not being heard by me 🤦🏼♀️
I grasp your hand, dear.
This is my upbringing by two narcissists explained perfectly. I was their only child. Every. Single. Word.
My mother is high level, diagnosed NPD, dad is covert but equally entitled and angry. Both are sociopaths but mom is clearly moreso. They see others as things to use under charming and polished exteriors. It's all about them, all the time. I was bullied and unimportant to them other than how impressive they could get me to be, otherwise they couldn't care less. I was bullied relentlessly for having my own opinions, punished, shunned, mocked, humiliated, etc. They hated being parents and I was sent away as much as possible every summer as they rejoiced in "Not being parents for the summer".
They couldn't be trusted, stealing a house from their friends, who made the mistake of showing them the house they were thinking of buying. My parents bought it immediately. They look at others as valuable if they are wealthy or impressive, or just will acquiesce and do what they want them to do. I never fit into this, having my own opinions and tastes. They put me down and rejoiced at my failures. They raised up higher if I was struggling or in crisis, mom especially enjoyed and even encouraged my pain. I was taken away from them for my safety at 16. Mom hated me even more and blamed me for everything ever since. Sociopathic narcs have NO empathy and are extremely vindictive. All my life I got therapy and stayed independent. I stopped contact later. They got worse with age. They would gladly destroy me to benefit themselves. Nope. Therapists always told me to "Run". And in the end, I have and it's the best thing I ever did. I finally have peace.
Wow. Sounds a lot like my story. Except a juvenile court judge emancipated me at 15. Great insight and thanks for sharing your story. Much 💘
Me too. It took me decades. It's the mom brother and flying monkeys. Whole sick maternal family.
I'm glad therapists gave you good advice. I was told things like, "Don't burn bridges," and other things that ignored the active and purposeful harm they were doing to me and others.
I am so sorry that you had rhat upbringing ( downbringing?) And I am glad ro hear you had great therapy and guidance. ♥️
Sorry you had to endure all that. It's something no child should have to deal with. I also grew up with a sociopathic narcissist father. The worst thing about growing up in that environment is you have nowhere to go. As an adult if he acts up, I just leave and go home to my wonderful wife and daughter. But as a kid, you're stuck there. Going to school is your only relief. I have a brother who is the golden child because he got an engineering degree. He and his family lives with my dad and after watching this video, I now understand that it's because he thinks he can benefit more from my brother. They don't care about anyone. In their mind we are all just things to use for their benefit. My mom passed away and she was mentally tortured by his behavior. I currently have no relationship with him and I intend to keep it that way. You're right when you said that leaving is the only option.
Driven by anger.....that explains it all.
Their behaviors are unimaginable to those of us who, thankfully, aren't of that ilk...until we've had to live with it. It's worse than anything you can even conceive. Evil is what they inflict. Thank you Dr. C, for all you give to us.
You're most welcome, Dawn. Dr. C
I know what you're going through. Having given your all in hopes of having an equal respectful relationship only to have your heart ripped away, thrown down stomped on and a back turned on you. No one should have to get used to misery.
@@davidsanstad9846 thank you for your kindness and understanding words. The cruelty is beyond description.
I have a nar. I put him in his place. He's very dangerous I stay away from him he lost his place in my heart but he doesn't know that. I Pray Alot for guidance. God is my savior.
@Mary Carroll 🙏 the Same here
God please bless our souls 🙏 ❤
I can't wait for this one, Dr. C. as I grew up with a mother and brother who were sociopathic narcissists which left me with severe PTSD. They are extremely dangerous individuals and are capable of the worst possible human behaviors. They are not your garden variety narcissists and no contact is really the only option with them!
Keep learning, Chelle. I hope you can climb all the way out of the hole they put you in. Dr. C
If you differ from them oh my Lordy they blow off in your face like a bomb! I notice they usually have to have at least one target they're gunning for. But they unwittingly have an inner self-destruct pin. If you can keep your cool for long enough, others start to see them for what they are and BOOM they self-implode. It's usually messy but if you can go cold grey rock they will implode.
Yes, sociopaths are truly dangerous and much more forceful than your the cowardly narcissist. I know of a sociopath, who drove an employee into suicide. In my experience "simple" narcissist look up at sociopath and seek to be close to them unless they have conflicting interests.
@@leazy1618 My brother just wrangled his way into being the sole inheritor of a multi million dollar estate from my other brother who died a slow, painful death so sometimes they actually win in life. 😣
Dear Chelle B I have the same problem Mother and Brother sociopath with PTSD. If you want to talk and compare notes let me know.
Stay safe.
Left with severe PTSD following a long miserable marriage and scary divorce.
Same with me
I got out of a 4 year relationship with one about 7 months ago. We have a 3 year old who's in foster care now because I saw through her mask and confronted her and she tried to ruin me. Its a fun story but I'm stronger now than I ever have been and I'm on track to get my son back. Literally just got off the phone with my family lawyer. Things are looking good finally. If you find yourself in a relationship of any kind with one of these type. Don't unmask them. Just... Just run. Leave your belongings if you have to. Just don't look back.
Leave the state with your son and disappear. Start a whole new life.
My child’s dad told one of his mates that he is what I say,a sociopath. Of course he denies it whenever it suits him to most people he is in contact with. He’s just an idiot to not get help and stop listening to his narc family and narc friends. The term he’d use for the friends if he were me is c*$ts. If there were a stronger word I’d use it for all of the people he spends time with,they are either that or stupid,there is nothing of moral value going on in his life now he left his daughter with me and went to stay at his sisters. We don’t even argue really,I think we may have only had one or two face to face arguements in ten years; he throws these massive fits of anger and ends things with us.
How familiar I am with this story!
One of their favorite tactics is to weaponize courts, protective agencies and/or law enforcement to destroy their perceived "enemies." Nothing is beneath them. Including trying to present an innocent person as someone who would molest a child, swindle a 90 year old grandparent or beat a pregnant woman. They will go after any type of license you have (teaching, medical, legal, etc.), your status as a parent or guardian, your occupation as a pastor, city councilperson, volunteer. You name it; they will do it -- at the same time that they are careful to stay just this side of what's legal. (They know how to avoid jail.) Your advice is sound. Run. At least that way your losses may be limited to "merely" having to pay many thousands of dollars in legal fees and praying that you deal with a court system that is not corrupt. (Because they're out there.) Prayers that things go well with you and your child.
Sounds like you’ve got your priorities straight, that little man is needing a healthy parent!
Yep biggest mistake is thinking you know enough about the subject to unmask a Narc. Don’t do it. Walkaway and don’t look back. The best punishment you could ever give them is complete and utter silence. No social media posts, no sign language, just complete silence whiles you quietly enjoy your life.
They have no self awareness. After betraying, disrespecting & sh*ting on you, they only blame somebody else. Might be their ex, their mother or one of their kids. It's never their fault you are hurting. They're spiritual parasites. Run the other way & never look back. 💌 Great video. Hugs from Australia.
I was married to this person for 21 years while he projected all his negative attributes onto me. He claims i have anger issues and am defensive. Being away from him and out of his vortex provides so much more clarity.
I had been at the same situation like you. They project all their junks onto us and then accuse us being mentally-ill, selfish and stubborn. When I got away from him my vision has been clear.
I also believe that when you're involved directly with someone for many years who is like this it changes you. Like a person with a bad habit, they can suck you into it as well. Those bad vibes will eventually rub off on you. It changes the way you think and sometimes you can end up adopting the same temperament as them. anger and being defensive. But that's part of the manipulation btw. It's called gaslighting for a reason. It's a deep rabbit hole! So you have to constantly watch yourself as to not turn into them. And don't say that you never became angry and defensive because narcs can bring the best out of us when it comes to that! I guess that's why it's best to break free or stay away as much as possible from them. You will never heal from that mentality if you stay around it. Or as you worded it, "...much more clarity." We were miserable around them because we're not like that, and we're not like the person they turned us into. Btw, not saying we turn into narcs or our anger and defensiveness wasn't justified. It's those negative vibes that rub off on us that robs us of our true identity.
Yes they’re good at doing that. They wanna make you feel like they’re your world. And you get sucked in. But once you leave, you truly see them for who they are and who they have always been
Get away from these people, irregardless of who they are, and get as far away as possible as quickly as possible. You have to have your own "witness protection program" and have no contact with them or anyone connected with them. The axe will fall on them eventually. What goes around --comes around.
I had a friend when young who was a narcissistic psychopath, diagnosed before prison sentencing. Not outwardly violent or abusive, very charming. But when my usefulness had ended and I was lured into a violent assault I remembered other times he had set me up to be severely injured or even had experimented with homicide. It was crystal clear then that no contact was the only option if I valued my life.
Please stay out of the line of fire. It is a terrible thing to live this way because even with no contact they still broadcast fear. Changing your name and living in another state brings a feeling of peace at least that will do it for me..Take care.
I had one who portrayed himself to be my best of friends only to set up an attempted murder. When the perpetrator came to do the deed my only option was to play dead in order to survive. So yes I agree, stay out of the line of fire. What made it worse was that the NPD woman I lived with had zero compassion for me and just went through the motions as if she actually cared, but I could see it in her eyes - icy cold indifference. Stay strong and stay away from the more deviant narcs.
SAME here! I'm being lured into dangerous situations 100% and NOBODY sees it!
These are dark , miserable and evil individuals.. I Thank God for removing me from this destructive & evil environment.
You are so Right on Target, Dr C.! This is my father, who is still "alive and kicking" at 95. I'm 64 and have had one heck of a healing challenge and process, starting just about 4 years ago. My dad has continued to try to destroy me in any and every way possible (ways too, of which people couldn't wrap their head around, except maybe Stephen King. "Good friends" have scoffed who I've carefully shared a few of those things with. "Wendy, why would your dad to that to you? That makes no sense, Wendy." ). I had to cut myself off from all of my family, extended family, longtime much loved family friends, and even longtime personal friends; he's preemptively gotten to every one of them (a vast array of flying monkeys that still come at me when I least expect it, and from people I've loved and trusted for as long as I can remember), weaving outlandish stories about me in his continuous attempt to crush and destroy me. He's very wealthy, and has bought everyone's allegiance, obeisance, and support. I thank God for God, and for God's special angels such as yourself and others who are dedicated to exposing the sickness and malintentions of these sorts of people. My mom passed away 3 years ago (that'sa horror story of itself). She had to hold her own with being with him in ruthless meanness and nastiness. I feel guilty "talking" about them outloud, I've protected their image for so long, even with all the immense, incredible abuse they've put me through since childhood (I'm 64). My selfhood was so screwed with, played like a funny "haha" game, and yet God has helped me my whole life to have enough strength and courage to keep marching onward and upward, not at all unscathed, but surviving from and through so much unspeakable and unspoken hell. Thank you so much Dr. C. for the kindness and gentleness with which you teach us this information! I am forever grateful!! 💝💝
Sorry for your loss, now its your turn for self care, some people just don't want to change, my mom passed away 3 years ago as well, she was kind of a narcissist ,anything I did for her she was never appreciate, until the end this beautiful person emerged a week before she passed, soo opened loving, beautiful, accepting humble, my heart was full, i thought to myself, at 58 years old and my mom at 83, where was this person all these years, soo much wasted time, i thought so this is what having love feels like, omg, can't explain it. Sending you my love ❤
I am presently in a situation with my ex-husband of over 10 years. I thought the nightmare was over. However, besides his smear campaigns over the years to mutual friends which I knew I just needed to take the high road and walk away from, because as we know it is an exercise in stupidity to counter their arguments and you only upset yourself by trying to defend yourself. Recently he has taken it upon himself to tell our grown adult children lies that our first born child (who is their brother) who is deceased due to cancer, that he is not the father. Over the 45+ years of our marriage I had never been unfaithful to him. But now he tells these stories to our children and even thought they do not believe him, I am sure in the back of their minds perhaps they are left with nagging questions. Of course his intention no doubt is to leave the children wondering that their mother was a slut. Once again I had decided to take the high road and ignore this insanity, however, over Christmas my son told me he was telling guests at their home this same story. My quandary is this…..naturally I will not discuss this with him, as we all know that only leads to more insanity and through all of this I have tried to remain classy. Plus, ever since our divorce he refuses to talk directly to me. This is what I have been thinking I would like to do, but not sure if it will end in disaster. I would like to have an attorney draft a legal letter to send him requesting that he provides me with DNA that he is not the father, which if necessary that the grave be exhumed at his expense. Following the results of this I will require from him a letter of apology and that these lies will never be spread to anyone again. He will also be required to apologize to our 3 children and their families for the slander and defamation of my character for creating doubt and suspicion in their minds regarding my morals.
Does anyone have any advice or feedback for me if this is a solution to end this insanity or am I setting myself up for creating a bigger scenario. I am so feed up with just letting him get away with whatever he feels like and having no shame or consideration of the children.
This truly tells you that these people are a living nightmare, and live to create hell for those in their path.
@@sharoncolumpsi5249 Blow it off, love yourself. You need no one, aside from yourself, to tell you who you are. You can't pretend their efforts to spread lies don't hurt, though you can focus on the beauty that is you, and your life apart from their influences.
@@sharoncolumpsi5249 Usually I would say "go quietly into the dark night" but in this case I think your plan is brilliant.
I will also add: cc the lawyer's letter to all your children and any other persons that "matter" to you. Of the persons cc'ed, if they had believed his stories and lies, cut them off completely after you confirm they have received the letter. If HE tries to engage you, direct him to your lawyer and go no contact with him, FOREVER. Go completely silent on anything concerning him. Do not ever speak of him or the things he did with anyone who was part of his smear campaign or was a flying monkey. Make your letter your final statement. 😑
One last point. Your expectation from this letter should not be about getting the apology or the DNA proof (you won't) but rather to "silence" HIM, the flying monkeys, the believers, and your so-called friends/family etc.
You can't literally silence him, but he will lose his "believers", because that letter will speak volumes....so there won't be anyone to spread his vitriol to.
Eventually,they begin to loose.Too many people remember their unpleasant experiences with them.They act out like children,and in the adult world,it doesn't go over well at all.Stuff piles up. Their history informs.
I said, stop. I stood up for myself and got attacked. I'm heartbroken, crying Nd pleading and all I received was hostility, rage, denial and rejection.
I knew the rejection was coming, why it took me 40 years to say enough is enough.
Saying goodbye to my mom forever.
I don't exist in her world. I never did.
That realisation is so important, I have found. You never existed to her but to us, you are a somebody and you are worth being here.
My whole "family" is chalk full of them. Hell, one of them even accused me of being a sociopath. But after doing educating and researching I fully realized that it wasn't me but them. They'll drive someone to insanity. They're dangerous.
Amen friend! Read my comment. Rick Griffin
Sociopaths will bypass any arguments or discussions, they go straight to intimidation. They believe fear is the best motivator. Sociopath are not nice people. Thank you dr Carter. God bless you❤
Sociopaths tend to self-destruct through their addictions, lack of responsibility and violence/anger. The mask slips no matter how charismatic, intelligent and manipulative. The mask will slip and the cognitive dissonance will be a challenge, but just acknowledging the duality and pain is a start sometimes.
That’s how I started to heal. I faced the cognitive dissonance in my relationship and I acknowledged the pain it was causing me. I also acknowledged the mental and emotional abuse etc. Acknowledging is the beginning. Validate that you are confused and hurting. The hardest part for me was that I truly loved him, but he couldn’t love back. He knew our relationship was special and unique, but it didn’t stop him from using me and manipulating me for his own uses.
It’s sad when the sociopaths is intelligent enough to realize that they themselves are trapped. He would talk about being like a broken record in his own life and how much he feared letting the beast inside him out. He knew! But unfortunately a snake is a snake even with awareness.
My recent ex was the same. He always asked if he was a good person. He knew how fucked up and empty he is.
SO true! I'm so sorry for your experience, I have two right now that are targeting me and I don't know how I'm going to get through this 😔!
Sociopaths are also vandals and they feel entitled to destroy anything they feel like destroying. Those people have criminal minds.
My mom's mom ( I refuse to call her my grandmother) was a sociopath. She cared about no one but she smiled all the time. I didn't understand why I would get sick when I saw her.
My twin sister is HORRIBLE. I'm glad I started watching these videos. Helps bring closure to leave her alone once and for all. They are evil people.
Hello there. I'm sorry for your situation. I hope things are ok for you. I recently found out my sibling is sociopathic, too, unfortunately. I'd like to ask a question, if you're comfortable replying, of course. Are you and your sibling identical twins?
Jacob He loved, & Esau He hated.
I bet you could write a book!!
I also have identical narc twin with sociopathic traits. We are in our 40’s and the last time we tried to get along ended up me being attacked physically. It is sad, but going no contact is the only way. Something deeply dark with them. The loneliest people.
Your "objective eyeballs" continue to walk me through, Dr. C. These people are absolute nightmares to have to deal with. Went grey wall last year yet the vitriol and cruelty continue to be launched at me and about me. Most bizarre thing I've ever dealt with in all my many decades of life. Thank you for the breath of fresh air. And the connection to sanity.
Most bizarre thing. 🤔⚔️
Keep on rockin' kind friend. The pinnacle of life is art. Even the cavemen saw this. Great to make friends. We send you love and respect from Slovenija.
Have been belittled for my values. It's hard to deal with folks like this.
I met a sociopath who was also possibly a covert narcissist. The narcissism was the best part of him! Watch your money with these!
Sociopath + alcohol addiction has torn apart my whole family and literally almost killed people. It’s terrifying the lust for power is awful when aging parents are involved.
That's a bad combination.
100%. I filed in July 2020. The first time he walked into the bedroom and started yelling at me for no reason I was shocked. I later asked him why he did that and he said he wanted to shock me so I’d do what he wanted. He said it was to “wake me up.’ I hate that man.
@Mary Carroll im glad you are ok Mary. Im proud of u
@Mary Carroll xoxoxoxo
The problem I might be facing is that the malignant sociopath is trying to get control over my life through people from my inner circle by coercing them into stuff. This has been going on for years, I have the strong feeling that someone or people (maybe from my past) have been trying to manipulate and instruct me into a desired direction. That's why I started to control the amount of information I give to others about my life situation. The more they know about you, the more opportunities they get to manipulate your life.
I think I've noticed a pattern: if you present an idea to them, they don't take the time to consider your words. I made an offer of help to 2 separate ones, one male one female. Both responded with impatience or irritability, and told me they didn't understand what I was talking about. I saw them as wanting dominance. They knew damn well what I was getting at, but responded with feigned bewilderment, as if I were some rambling and inarticulate bumpkin. .
I was married to a sociopath for 13 years. Happily divorced and my life is at peace. Parallel parenting for our one child who will see him can be interesting (stonewalling is his favorite pastime) but I am ambivalent. It is what it is. I am grateful for the knowledge of who and what they are as I can now keep them at arms length. I feel sorry for anyone unlucky enough to get involved with one. They are toxic.
I'm learning now that I became codependent because I subconsciously knew that if I self-actualized from my mother, grandmother and father I'd be torn to pieces. Now in adulthood I finally said 'this is who I really am' and indeed, they tore into me but the difference is that I'm not under their authority anymore and I'm no contact. But working on myself and learning who I am apart from them has been really scary as well as amazing. I've had multiple narcissistic partners though and have had to learn that I can't dim my light for anyone. My happiness is mine and if another person is unhappy I can't change them
Sociopathic narcissists have gross lust for power and self gratification achieved by threatening and intimidating people. I don’t want to have anything to do with such individuals. Dignity, respect, civility, love and peace are my guiding principles. Thank you dr Carter. God bless you❤
I am in this kind of relationship. It's been 12 years. Every day is getting worse, And the more I grow apart from him and keep my distance even in the same house, it's causing a lot of friction, to the point he's accusing me of everything he can think of, and in all reality I'm just trying to keep peace within me. Me. The more evil things that comes out of his mouth, the more I want to run away. He sets the stage, like saying wonderful things about our relationship on social media to make himself look like the loving husband, but behind doors, it's a whole other story. He barely says a full sentence in one day to me because he stays on his phone constantly talking to other people. He only has time for me when it's time for me to benefit him , then he gets upset because I don't want to spend time with him after being last on his list. It's really scary because the things that he says when no one's listening but me scares me to death! Everyone thinks he's such a great guy and that he's just the perfect husband, but no one knows. Keep the peace , but my fake smile tells the truth. I fear moving away because I know he'll search for me and he'll socially make my life a living hell. He will tell everybody ,It's all my fault and just makeup lies because he has to keep his reputation. I'm praying for strength and peace!
I knew a fella that seems to fit a lot of these traits. All his life he was antisocial, the worst criticisms came out of his mouth to the few that would put up with him. That man died a lonely life on the street in the middle of winter in our hometown downtown. He plowed through life grabbing and taking what he wanted and never looking back. He shamed he ridiculed he stoled. He had no redeeming qualities that I know of. No friends and his phone never rang. Such a sad existence.
Thank you Dr. C. Having been seriously injured by a ruthless malignant sociopath impersonating as a male Christian to assault & abuse me I understand this. Being in therapy with a knowledgeable therapist I still supplement with your helpful videos. Using a female therapist in 2019 who ignored why we came to her office, charmed by his impersonation, almost got me killed. His violence gave me a traumatic brain injury, broken bones, his manipulative lies given to the male cops resulted in my arrest - they refused to look at my evident self defensive bruises or photos. I fled Seattle, making me homeless for 6 months. He now impersonates as the communal Green Lake Homeless advocate, another astonishing indictment of how our culture recklessly supports well presented mental illness.
I know the cost has been high for you, but I'm glad you're moving on!! Dr. C
@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you for your kind words & support - it made me cry. It was quite costly for me. I have come a long way. Having a term to identify these soul sick creatures was long in coming. I greatly appreciate your many efforts to educate us, I remain grateful for all of your love offerings to us.
So happy you got away. Bless your soul. Stay strong.
@@zareththealchemist8982 Thank you for your kind words & support. I know if I had not left him I would be another dead pawn in his alternate reality. He knocked me unconscious on my birthday, I was out for several minutes. Recently I realized the assault birthed me into new consciousness - on many levels in many ways. I don't like the way it came, c'est la vie, yet clearly I needed a big lesson.
@@lindalouise3391 I relate to what you're going through. These types have connections all over the place. Make yourself stronger even. Take self defense training. Google spiritual protection and protection stones.
I can't thank you enough for this one. Clearing up a fog that's lasted 17yrs. 💕
Dr. Carter, another excellent video. My ex-husband, I believe was a sociopathic narcissist. He checks all the boxes of the behavior you mention in this video. That’s why I divorced him. He got sick before the divorce was final and while the divorce did go through, I was his legal guardian, power of attorney and caregiver. Toughest thing I ever have done. Saturday he died. I was at the facility when he died. I prayed for him and over him, asked God to forgive him as he could not speak for himself (he was unconscious). I told him I forgive him for all the things he did to me. The moment I saw him Saturday I knew that was the day he was going to die. I held his hand, told him it was okay to let go, we would be okay, and I believe he could hear me, because right then he died. All of his family had long abandoned him. No one came to visit or asked about him all these years he was ill. Sociopath narcissists think they are winning by their aggressive ways they live life. But I saw it in my ex husbands life, everyone (except me) abandoned him when he needed them because of his abusive ways. I stayed to care for him because I felt it was what God would have me do. I’m sad he died much too young, but I’m mostly grieving the life we could have had, my wasted time, because his real self wasn’t revealed until the day we married. There’s no good path with a narcissist, especially sociopaths. I will focus on getting my life back. This channel, Dr C’s books and online courses have been a lifeline to my healing. Thank you Dr C! My God bless you richly!
You are the definition of maturity.
He must have been a tormented soul. You were the presence of God to him, even when he didn't appreciate it. I respect you greatly, Shari. Dr. C
Bless you!
@@SurvivingNarcissism Dr.C, I’m so humbled by your comment as you have helped countless people and I have utmost respect for you. I had prayed to find a resource to help me get through this difficult relationship I had with my ex husband and one day one of your videos popped up on my UA-cam feed. I was new to UA-cam, never searched on narcissists because I truly thought of a narcissist as a vain person. I didn’t relate what I lived through as that. I cried when watching that first video as I knew the answer to my prayer was I married a narcissist. Later, I saw your video where you spoke of your friendship with the young boy Albert. When Albert asked you, “Let, is Jesus anything like you?” That was one of the most powerful questions I have ever heard. I use Albert’s question on myself. “Shari, is Jesus anything like you?” Or “Is Jesus doing the same things you are?” If the answer is no, I realign myself right away. I want to grow, learn, help others, and be a light to those that need it. Notice I didn’t say those that deserve it. I can’t rely on my definition of deserving it. I don’t want God to judge me if I deserve His grace for not, because I don’t deserve it. All I can do is follow God’s example of grace to me and pass that along to others including my narcissist sociopath ex-husband. There is no EASY button to push for that. I had to lean on the Choose Grace button.
I am also in the 60-plus club, knew I needed a divorce at 35 years of marriage,but he dragged it out til 39 years. Yes, the kids suffer as his bullying and manipulations are done covertly, right under my nose(if that makes sense). The last time he raged at me(August 2019) was the LAST time he raged at me!
I grew up with an older sister and older brother who were narcissists...they never dealt with their childhood trauma...their narcissistic rages would frequently come out. My sister's email address even has "queenb" in it...enough said. My brother is onto his 3rd family...he left a wake of emotional destruction among so many people. I wish my older siblings the best in life but I have to keep them at a safe emotional and geographical distance for my own well-being and sanity.
I can so relate to this. I am the oldest though and had to be the parent of the younger siblings. We went through so much trauma and I’m the only one that got help and continue my recovery in the Al-Anon program. I’m deeply saddened by their unwillingness to deal with their pain but I’m not their “mom” anymore. We are in our fifties. I can no longer make excuses for their behavior.
This is my mother to the T. She doesn't even know when I have my birthday. And gets really angry if I remind her on my actual birthday. "How am I suppose to remember that" is the standard answer.
Right on. I've known one narc and one sociopath. The latter was far worse. I actually couldn't believe a human being could be like that. I ended up summarizing them as an 'insane machine'. A machine definitely---just a bunch of programs. But not even a good working machine. A screwed up machine. And I observed all the traits Dr. C. stated...no remorse, doesn't care, an endless actor, can act 'nice, or good or charming', no conscience, no actual feelings or emotions, a true bully, a coward, no responsibility, cannot accept blame, etc. YUK.
Thank you for describing it the way you did. It helps to see them clearly that way.
Narcissism runs strong in my ex-family. 'The womb's' brothers are sociopathic style, 'the womb' and 'the seeder' are covert and co-dependent and would often have really violent outbursts to the point where we feared for our lives. They also brainwashed us into believing that parents are infallible and to question or go against them meant we would spend eternity in literal hell and if we spoke about the mental of physical abuse we'd be taken away and put with people that would hurt us and we'd never see each other again. It has led to a lifetime of confusion and still going through re-living events. It's quite difficult making sure I don't repeat any of the patterns. Some are much easier than others to spot but our child doesn't live in fear so I think I'm doing OK with it, I hope dearly.
Keep yourself and family,y far away from those relatives and their flying monkeys. And pay heed to this warning, they can and will spy on you and your family and send friends of friends to sabotage your children or child and your relationships. I learned the hard way to go no contact and not to let any of them in. Fortunately, I was warned and somewhat prepared. They do this behind your back. So warn your kids too.
@@elizabethandiosa4579 They have already alluded to "protecting themselves" if I talk about it but I don't see how they can justify it, but they will try so we are ready for the next wave. One of the last of many arguments was about how we wouldn't let her have access to our daughter without us around and the main thing running through my head was "I remember what you did to us so I'm not going to let you take our daughter alone." I don't want to even think about what kind of BS she would have loaded her head with in our absence.
@@christinenusret8296 That's not cool at all. The others should have said or done something. It's unconscionable behaviour knowingly allowing abuse of someone that can't defend themselves to continue. In my opinion it's equal to participation. There's a big difference between disciplining a child and physical abuse. I hope you're going ok now, that kind of stuff takes a long time to get over. I had to start by deconstructing the parental archetype which also meant calling them by name instead of their archetype title. They absolutely hated that and that was the last time I spoke to them because it was an obvious flag to them that they had lost all power and control.
@@nemonada3501 I hear you. I left my daughter alone with mother dearest once. When she got home, my daughter told me grandma was mean and it made me want to kill myself. That brought back memories. It's been twenty years now. Then later they got the crazy cousins worming their way in. Just as toxic. Stopped it once I found out. Finally told them all to fuck off after my dad died. I am so glad you got it nailed down. I am still slightly enmeshed with business that my mother conned her way into. No contact now. I cannot take her or my brother anymore or their crazy toxic flying monkeys. Too much. The abuse got worse and more cunning and devious as well as dangerous to me. I just cannot do them anymore. It's so hard to believe ones own family can be so abusive. I got very sick and suspect poisoning.
@@elizabethandiosa4579 That really sucks that you can't immediately purge them. I've had to go no contact and since I've had a lot of repressed things come back, it was worse than I thought now I can see it from the outside. I know the repressed things aren't imagination because they were verified by my younger sister that remembers the whole thing. I used to consciously and subconsciously make excuses for them and repress a lot of the "bad thoughts" as they came up, but no more. To get through it I've had to learn to be completely honest with myself about all of it and I'm slowly restructuring my thought processes. It's causing an extreme amount of anxiety as I can see a lot of what I believed about the past was a lie so there has been a series of existential crisis, but once I get through the other side I think it will be more than worth it. I can safely say I'm a different person to who I was 5 years ago but it's been a long voyage and without my support network I would not have been able to make it. Meditation has literally saved me, I couldn't stand it until I learnt to just sit calmly and non-judgmentally in my body with it as the trauma from it was pushing me over the edge. I contemplated voluntarily committing myself on a couple of occasions, but then I found a book called "The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der Kolk (ironically on 'the seeders' bookshelf) and that gave me some jumping off points to work with and pointed me in directions for places to look for the right tools to work through it. I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it. I don't know where I would be without that book. I also had to deconstruct what they call "the family myth" and in doing so I started calling both of them by their names instead of their archetype titles which really peeved them off because I believe it was an indication for them that they were losing control of some of their supply, but for me a lot of deconstruction was necessary to see the things for what they are and were behind the curtains and without the smoke and mirrors created by the indoctrination, denial, and gaslighting.
Never! engage a sociopath. I dated one and he was violent and hard to rid myself of him. He did tell me that he was diagnosed and explained to me he didn't have that little voice inside his head that most people have--a voice that tells us to stop if we are thinking about doing or saying bad things. He told me that the little voice is also important for feeling things like joy--he really wondered what joy was like. Though we only dated a few months, it didn't take me long to figure out something was really wrong. It took me over a year to get rid of him. They don't care about the rules--restraining orders are useless. I had to move right out of the town I was born in to get away from him. Eventually, he found me but I had a new love interest who made it very clear to him he was not welcome.
61 years old and starting over. It's scary since I was a stay at home mom. I also suffer from back issues which has me on medication every day. Free from the constant egg walking, criticism etc. No matter the difficulties I'm free from him almost. Hopefully, the divorce will be final in August.
Im 53 I know I have no choice I know I cant do it to myself and stay much longer....it just gets worse
@Rhonda, So proud of your courage, resolve & strength to get out. I got out 13 years ago at age 55. If you can get distance and also keep the flying monkeys away, you will have a great & peaceful life. Good Health & Blessings
The margins metaphor feels spot on! I always longed to share a life with my husband, but I felt like he wouldn't allow me into his real text. He treated me like a housemate who provided love, sex, and support. He would say the cruellest things to me about my shortcomings (physical and otherwise)--not in an angry tone, but just as casual conversation. Every one felt like an arrow in my chest, but I never fought back because I believed he was right about me.
You deserve so much better, Freya. I hope you can find healing. As to believing his messages, first consider the pain he was in that caused him to treat you that way. That is someone who should not have a vote regarding your character.
@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you! And thank you for your illuminating videos. I wish all young people could be taught these things.
Thanks so much for this video. The sociopathic narcissist is very erosive in their attitude to everybody, and if they find you already vulnerable from previous (often parental) narcissistic abuse they'll verbally shoot you down like fish in a barrel.
WOW!! That is the perfect description of my first husband. He also alienated my daughter against me meanwhile, she could never be good enough to satisfy him. Very sad that he effectively is behind my daughter's entire unhappy life. My grandson committed suicide in 2017 .. she never had time for him but she alienated him against me as well 😪😡
So sad. My heart is with you. Dr. C
I have come to realize that when my narc says they 'love' someone it's merely their sentimental memories of past happy events.. and how they felt ... so it's still all about the narc!
Yep, blowing right thru my boundaries happens alot. Still reeling from a blow thru boundary event that happened in Nov. It's exhausting. Thank you for helping build me back up. I love your videos.
Yes they just want to walk all over reasonable people with boundaries. It takes so much strength to keep building these boundaries and to stay healthy. Strength that isn't infinite, but the narcs can't care less.
BUT you dare NOT cross boundaries they have.
You're most welcome, Yvonne. Knowledge is power, so keep learning! Dr. C
@@USNBLUE Or complain they’re trembling on your boundaries or human rights even. It seems complaint or taking steps to stop those above is cause to do those even more. Reason, attempts at resolution, forget it. Seems grey rock or grey wall is the only solution (for you, not them). I try to stop short of diagnosing via armchair bc I am not a doctor or trained psychologist.But, a lot of the situations in this video Dr.Carter talks about? Is recognizable. The info in this other videos is helpful.
I Yi Yi
I believe my sister is one and it honestly feels like a lion preying on a rabbit. shes been the worst terror in my life. she's turned so many friends and family against me it's heartbreaking and infuriating that I can't do anything except try to stay away.
I can relate to this.
They need to have an enemy. Someone to put down. I could stand on my head and they'd still find fault with me, no matter what I did it would be wrong
Yes I hear U. My sister has always been a monster this way
@@snowbear1877
Since my youth (decades before I heard of these terms that describe these people), I said it this way . . that you could look at the wall, and you'd be doing it wrong, or that you're breathing "wrong" . .
I found your sentence "They need to have an enemy" particularly apt. Thank you.
@@cacatr4495 So sad isn't it.
My sister keeps files and cross-references every email I send, to use against me later.
My father was the same.
It's all about appearances.
She is nice to me on Facebook, to make it look like I am the problem.
@@snowbear1877
They play their cards. Gee, I didn't know this was a game of poker, but to them, apparently, it is. I spoke to someone once, many years ago, that said they kept a record of every phone call, every in-person conversation, of all that was said, the date, the time, everything. They must be very busy with their non-Life. SMH.
This is exactly the case. As much distance from those individuals as possible. Those people are trecherous and manipulative beyond imagination. Thank you dr Carter. God bless you❤
Yep. They have no regard for boundaries. The love showing up at people's house without asking. They invite themselves over, no phone call or anything.
Yes the mocking of any positive, tender or caring feelings is particularly hurtful.
My Ex was this....I have a 26 yrs old daughter still suffering from the effects from him. I left after 6 years and he still turns her against me. He at 65 see's the end coming and is a master at re-writing history.
The boundaries are up now and you are spot on them trying to destroy you. It only took me short while after marriage to wake up that he was not real!! I really tried to understand, but I almost lost myself in that short time!! Thank God for my family and friends that helped me out of that trap!!
You may have just described my brother. Tosses out a subject in a group that’s out of line and embarrassing to you, then chuckles like an idiot. I was suffering horribly emotionally out on a few days alone with him, never got one word of concern or even asked about it. Once I quit with all of the free services, he went into his discard rage….when I was down no less. Stole and cheated to get what he wanted, usually through someone else, so when they were caught someone else took the fall and he walked away chuckling like he was so smart. I could go on and on about this jerk. I thought it was immaturity for the longest time, but now I’m getting clarity. 😵💫
It can’t just be me, watching these for hope just seems reignites the anguish. Feeling hopeless
A sociopath I know surreptitiously does unethical acts to usurp family property and to the family's face gives them generous gifts. Weird but true.
Some of my family definitely have strong Narcissistic traits, and even Sociopathic traits. One has lied about me, stolen valuables, has caused much family discord and has interfered with my relationships with significant others.
And they are quite fascinated by Narcissists and Sociopaths. Often trying to accuse other people who don't agree with their narrative of life to be Narcissists and Sociopaths.
This describes the 2 main narcs in my life. They are truly dangerous.....emotionally, psychologically. They are very evil sick creatures. Thanks for putting into words Dr. Carter.
A very unsettling personality to encounter.
I appreciate this one…I’m not sure if I was married to a sociopath or psychopath but it doesn’t matter. He was a self-proclaimed pathological liar and led a double life most of our marriage which his parents covered up and I didn’t know about until the end. He always complained that I didn’t compliment him enough, even though he wouldn’t hold a job for more than 6 months at a time and take a year to look for the next job. Always the victim and parasite and I was naive and worked double time to do better to be a better wife. He told me he could never feel “love” ever since he was a child. Mine didn’t use fear he used the silent treatment on steroids and physical and emotional rejection. I remember always apologizing for something that he caused and started and the look of smugness or disgust in his face. Hello codependency and denial on my end. Free and healing. I appreciate your videos so much! I’m in weekly counseling with EMDR. I realize I had two narcissistic parents.
Deep respect for Your journey
Thanks for the reminder of just how terrifying these individuals are.dangerous.remorseless.aggressive.overpowering.manipulative.no empathy.lying.cruel.etc.this is my brother. After decades of suffering I banged the door shut. I'm grateful that we live on different continents as I wouldn't put anything past him.thank you Dr C. Your channel is a lifeline. God bless you.
Stay strong, Leanne. Dr. C
My sibling is a nightmare too. I had to let go to save my mental and physical health.
I have been thinking of my roommate as a covert narcissist but he fits the sociopathic mold perfectly. It amazes me that we have no "relationship", yet I'm treated in such a horrific manner.
Thank you ! 8 years with a narcissistic fiancé.....none of it made any sense and nearly drove me mad. It wasn't until I started listening to your you tube channel that things started to slot into place and I understood what I was dealing with. 6 months free from him and still I'm finding out about the affairs he had and the lies he told but onwards and upwards
Ive got my life back and the old me is slowing starting to shine through. You have helped that happen 😊
Wish I knew all of this before I became their target.
Thanks dr i am a survivor of narcissist rage n explosive disorder from a male relative about 14 yrs ago got head bashed ibto fridge in my own home n broken neck survive d by an eight of an inch drs tolne. Took 1 and a half yrs to rehaab physical tgerapy Hav been to counseling n everything n still have bad PTSD thanks 4 advice. Ps he got away withvit by ofering to take a lie detector test And Cops didnt even make him take one hes such a good liar ps my witnesses even went to police station. The boys Club united iguess.
Me too. We have to do something to stop this bashing and slaughter.
Whatever happens don’t show fear…
I'm happy to see your recent videos dealing with the more dangerous, extreme narcissists. I have been targeted by one, and the info about milder narcs doesn't address many of the things I am experiencing. Thank you, Dr. Carter.
Yes I’ve dealt with one like this and they’re so dark and sadistic it’s insane. So happy to be out
Mine are like they’ve been attacked by dementors and had their souls sucked out.
My ex’s favorite phrase was “Do as you’re told!” Or “Why won’t people do as they’re told?!” He’s hitting all of these marks, though. He even said once that he wanted to be feared, asked if I did, and when I said no, mocked me for it, telling me that I’m not strong enough to handle that, etc. I hope you’ll make some more videos about sociopathic narcissism because that seems like a distinctive type of narcissism.
Certainly seems like that to me, too, because they'll ALWAYS cross the line. Narcissists don't recognize personal boundaries as it is, but this extra sociopathic layer adds something even more twisted, like your very existence depends only on their mercy.
I think you’re describing my mother. She remarried and ditched my sister and I. My sis and I were very restricted growing up; super sheltered in the 70s. Then she remarried and set us loose. Probably that only benefitted us. My mom is in her 80s now and needs us. But I have never been or felt close to her. She is jealous of the relationship my sister and I share. She has literally laughed when my sister, who walks w a cane, tripped and fell a few years ago. I mean, she laughed until she cried. My sis and I were aghast. It’s hard to help mom. Sis and I have as little to do with her as possible and have boundaries that mom hates. She needs assisted living but refuses to recognize that and it’s making us a bit miserable. I call mom out on her manipulation and she gets nasty real quick. Ugh. It’s such a messed up relationship.
Dump her in a home and walk away
After seeing this, I think I'm dealing with a narcissist with sociopathy. If I show my tender side or even have a light-hearted moment with my family or a pet, the narcissist gives me filthy looks and usually adds some nasty, unwarranted, derisive comment. This heartless person always aims to embarrass and humiliate me publicly, and alienate me from family.
Run! Sounds like typical control to me. Big red flags.
Wish you the best.
Dr. C helped me find my place of peace in 2021. Now I'm living a big happy!!! Wishing team healthy all the best in 2022. Love you guys.
Thanks, Ann. #TeamHealthy. Dr. C
They must be the center of attention in all cases. No care for your feelings on anything and you are so right about all that you say Dr. Carter. They are great actors and if they do anything for you it is only because they are running a game on you to get something. They live to bring you down and are forever thinking of how they can do that.
For years - decades! - I wondered whether my daughter was sociopathic or garden-variety narcissistic.
Now, it doesn't matter. She effectively communicated that she wants nothing to do with me (unless I fall in line) so I've obliged her. We've been no-contact for over 3 months save for my wishing her happy birthday by text. There were no seasons' greetings from either side.
On the one hand, it's heart-breaking but, on the other, it's much better to be at peace with myself.
I had the misfortune of being born into a family of narcissists and married into an even worse family. (NC now) Sociopaths I identified as such right away ( without education), simple narcissists I only saw as odd, before I had the knowledge I have now.
It’s so painful, but considering the discomfort of the contact, it’s probably the best solution.
It is painful to see individuals begging to be reaccepted by narcissistic family groups or persons. Yet that outsider is longing to belong and that is understandable. I'm glad you've been able to go no contact, and yes it still hurts but it is best.
Yep....same with narc mom...i send birthday card, Christmas card and nothing from her....all because I DARE to require self respect and dignity and NO CONTROL.....the PEACE is WONDERFUL AND THE BOUNDARY OF no more mental abuse....but the smear campaign is in full effect from narc older sister and flying monkey brother...meanwhile twin was rescued by me and hubby from the crazymakers....had a WONDERFUL PEACEFUL CHRISTMAS without them!
@@mariaawake4502 I think that odd is a good description and a huge warning sign. Every odd person I have met over the decades is abusive. Trust your intuition.
I am trying to stabalize myself into solid ground, to do this I am focusing on healthy building blocks, one healthy building block then another building block.. then another solid building block - I REALLY like what to stand for 'D R C' Dignity Respect and Civility That will be a Solid Building Block for me :D and I also accept 'As much distance as I can manage' that is a protective building block to safeguard my building. Hopefully after a little while of work in solid building blocks... I will have me a Solid Emotional Home... Amen. Thank you Dr. C
Great thoughts, Audrey! Dr. C
I m so grateful for all this information.
❎. Run for yourlife fast as you can
Do not look back
You could to turn to stone.
Creatures as this is why
we have laws
🤺💐
I've never even asked them to stop, I'm too often in a state of shock.
You're bang on Doc. Thank you for your videos. You are helping a lot of people whose lives have been destroyed. It's difficult for us to comprehend that someone can be so diabolical, evil, heartless, hurtful and selfish. You give us a little peace of mind. ❤
So pleased on your behalf!
This is a very powerful message. I know that I'm not the only one going through this. This is not a loving person. They only want to destroy people's lives. I've been dealing with this for many years now. At 1st I thought oh if I just changed things would get better!!! They don't they only get worse. You only lose the goodness of who you are. I've set boundaries went no contact. It helps but they try and just make your life hell! I just learned about gang stalking. Omg I would of never thought people could go on Craigslist and get a job to just stalk people empaths would never thought of something like this. We going out and try to lifts others up. I have learned a few things watching your videos. If you give in and allow them to take your soul you enable them to keep doing this to others. I myself do not want to give up my soul. I wish this community and others like this one could stand up and unight. We can be strong together. I don't know how much more I can take. I've been beating down so much my whole life. But ill keep trying to get up and be myself everyday. If there is anything I can do to help others I will do so.
I respect your mindset, Dan! Dr. C
Be careful of all social media.
I have had an entire team, a loosely connected network of people doing everything they could to try and take me out for four years. Dismantle, discredit and destroy.
There are a lot of people out there being targeted on various levels, being slowly tortured and murdered.
Some don't even realize what is going on, that they are being targeted, some do get it but they can't get help they've been slandered, smeared and blacklisted.
There are very connected people and they range from the bottom of the barrel criminals that can be manipulated, coerced, blackmailed.. to some of the most trusted members of a community (police, emergency responders, politicians) and on up the chain involved.
I have discovered mostly people that lean politically left but I've also discovered people on the right as well behind some of the stalking I've endured.. it's not about politics but really it actually it is. They are very dangerous people and they are putting many lives at risk, driving people insane to hurting people and even suicide. Any way to destroy someone they'll do it.
@@marcodarko6941 I took my Facebook off my phone. I cut off all the people I didn't think I could trust. But if they hack your phone and spy on you ie.. follow you everywhere you go there is not much more I can do. I have stopped having any friends. Soon I may not talk to anyone. I fear the more I do this the less of me I become. That is exactly what they want to shut you off from having any life of your own. At this point I don't vote Democratic or Republican. I agree with you this come from to bottom all the way up to the top. I've been trying to stand up for what it right but that is a very hard thing to do.
I've been with a covert malignant narcissist for almost 9 years. Throughout out he has manipulated me out of having 2 children , then threats for 3rd pregnancy and then gaslighting to not keep baby. After losing my job after 6 days of finding out I was pregnant, I had to rely on narcissist for financial support. Blacklisted in my trade in my local area, created more dependence on narcissist. Recently got pregnant again (used birth control every pregnancy- still got pregnant) and was under no circumstances going to give up my baby and narcissist knew that , so secretly poisoned me and I miscarried . These demonic (I believe that's what narcissists are) people have no level in which they are not willing to sink to to execute their will and wants. Had malice or mocking or neglect growing up with family and realized the narcissists within each of them as learning more about narcs. It's sad , but VERY helpful to educate oneself about the disorder in order to keep sanity , boundaries and prevention in future terror by narcs. They do all play from the same recipe book. Predictable now.
Go no contact if at all possible!
I’m coming out of a 5 year relationship and marriage and didn’t realize he was a sociopathic narcissist until the discard phase. He cheated on me 1 month after our wedding with another married woman and neither one of them had any remorse. In fact bragged about it and rubbed salt in the wound. These are incredibly destructive people that don’t care who they hurt. I went through emotional, physical and financial abuse. I’m going to need deep therapy in my recovery.
Man what a sad life they live though. I can’t help but have a little empathy to some degree but I am so glad I’m out and living in peace… I’m no longer the target of the abuse.
My step mother is a sociopath. She was so hell bent on me never having a relationship with my dad or the extended family that she told everyone she thought my children and her grandchildren I babysat for two years, had been sexually abused. She had zero evidence at all. She just made it up to try and destroy me.
That's someone you need lots of distance from! Dr. C
@@SurvivingNarcissism oh I haven’t spoken to her in ten years. I refuse to participate in the drama!! Thanks 🙏
I can’t believe I’ve been so blind for 14 years. Now I feel better without him finally!!
Thank you so much!! I’m 65 yrs old and are just starting to get it 🙄
The law is the only way to deal with my sociopath brother.. I have been diligent about recording evidence on him in order to get him into court.
This has been a long tine coming for me. I have a lot of fear of him because he is capable of psychotic behavior. He has been my nightmare.
If he is convicted I will have to watch my back the rest of my life. Thank you Dr C for this video and have peaceful New Year.
The tables can be turn and flipped on them. Play it polite and cool. Make plans to leave town and change your name. Watch as many videos as you can about Raymond, flying monkeys, smear campaigns, non reaction. Be safewatch out for steps and poisoning. Good luck. Be very careful. Some times it's best to leave and hand in evidence right before you leave. Go absolute no contact.
My ex is a police officer. He has destroyed me over and over. Using his badge and the courts to control me. So , for me I will always be reminded i will never win. Everything Dr Carter is speaking is the truth. Spot on. I am a nobody and I'm reminded and punished if I try to stand up for myself. It only gets worse.
They have been using this tactic of intimidating. Creating a sense of fear.
Thank you Dr. Carter.
You have helped me, tremendously, to recover from a narcissistic relationship. She was a liar, thief, and took out a falsified restraining order on me; she was totally angry on another level. The police took her to a Psy Unit, but she apparently fooled them, and they released her after a few days. Your information was instrumental in helping me understand and work through the pain of this horrible, short-lived relationship. Appreciate you, and thank you for your wonderful research and presentations.
when these types are your family members, it’s a long road of grief, anger, inner-child work, & acceptance. bc even when you know who they are, the patterns of false emotional connection are still there….and require MANY times of repeating these behaviors & automatic fawning patterns w them to recognize & unlearn them. (esp when your whole family is Enmeshed). it’s self-angering at first, until you learn that it’s part of the process of releasing the trauma bonds you have w them. when you cant go no contact (yet), you can learn a lot about how deep your subconscious patterns go! it’s hurtful & healing at the same time….esp since these are the patterns you’ve had w others as well!
and it helps w the forgiveness process as well…seeing them for who they are & knowing they cant ever change…and that anyone could be in your place & they would treat them the same (it’s not really personal, even though they make it that way).
God is showing me that I can Love them by seeing them (and their struggles), being kind/gray rock/non-reactive in response (seeing the behavior for what it is), setting boundaries & saying no(not accepting their abuse)…..and by praying for them.
“bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” - Luke 6:28
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” -Matthew 5:44
this goes for when you are NC as well.
they are God’s children as well….and God loves all people. “Love” is a word God has been redefining for me. ❤🙏🏻 And this has def been a process for me……it has NOT been easy. there’s a lot of complexity & history there. and it may be the final steps w them before i go NC. i pray to God everyday about that 🙏🏻 I hope my story may help someone else going through the same thing ❤
Thank You Dr. Carter. I was married to a female sociopathic narcissist who threatened to destroy me. In fact one of her favorite threats to me was… If you ever leave me? I’ll destroy you! She was hateful and spiteful and mean. And she was cold hearted and heartless and cruel. And she was vengeful and revengeful and vindictive. And she was so wicked and evil that I walked out on her and divorced her and chose to shut her out of my life forever. She did everything to me that you described in this video. Thank’s Again Sir. And GOD Bless You Dr. C.