Narcissism And The Sociopathic Mind
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- Опубліковано 27 тра 2024
- Dr. Les Carter is joined by a special guest who is a seasoned forensic psychologist. His twin brother, Dr. Lee Carter, discusses some of the features of sociopaths, giving the perspective of one who interviews them after being arrested and held for major crimes. You'll enjoy seeing the similarities and distinctions of the two brothers who have each had extensive experience with narcissistic sociopaths.
Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, TX. In the past 40 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. His brother, Lee, lives in Waco, TX. where he has spent his entire professional career.
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“ broken people who want to break you “ well said.
yes so true.
Ashley Calloway damn! That’s a true statement!
How about those twins? They're no nicer than the narcissists or sociopaths but for some reason, possibly their professional identity, are of the view that they're special.
@Samira H Wow, Maya Angelou the sex worker from St Louis and her manipulative word salad. Take care with what you believe Samira.
What do I believe in? I guess music. What is your favorite recorded music song?
They're like the Double Mint Twins.... Double the knowledge, kindness and compassion! 😁
I thought the same thing lol
YES!! Love them both!!
Hilariously cute!!!!
They even have a similar delivery of speech. This was a great video for more reasons than one.
Come on this has to be the same person in glasses! A split screen with some video editing!
We empaths need to remember that it isn’t our job to fix others
But it goes against our nature!
Edward Greacen I know
Even tho it isn't our job, dont you feel drawn toward showing ppl a more pleasant possibly more socially successful way ? I do. Maybe I'm not being assertive enough. Help?!!. I need to learn when to disengage. My dad would say when the horse dies , dismount son.! I agree but do we try to resuscitate ? Lol.
jason sneeden I am drawn to help. I have even been feeling a withdrawal of sorts during quarantine because I don’t have anyone to help
@@eph2vv89only1way I know what you mean. Just remember , even with no one to help you still have a great value.
YOURE A TWIN!! The world has TWO of you! Awesome!
Yes! We are lucky and blessed to have them in this world!
Sociopaths only focus on the moment. They don't think long term or think much about consequences.
@kurt neill I'm not talking about noticing the flowers and taking deep breaths and feeling your body. What I mean is that they do not plan ahead much, or have life goals to strive for. They only think about what they want right now, and they don't think about the consequences of their actions.
@kurt neill that is also true. But it's not what I was referring to.
I think that is more the narcissistic duty.
and why they can end up in prison.
Broken people who want to break you. Couldn’t be so true. Get out and stay out. Take care of yourself. Thanks for this valuable information.
I can't get out . I missed my chance and now I am too old .
Libby Noska There’s no age limit to freedom. Get out of there.
@@hearttoheartoutreach4962 , It's a Financial matter.
Libby Noska May God grant you a miracle and get you out without financial consequences. God can. You can’t live in hell forever
same here 60 physically disabled no money nor family
Loved hearing from your brother - your mother must be so proud to have two brilliant and good hearted sons.
Doctors, this was GREAT! I could have listened to you two for a least 2 hours. More...More...More!
I agree. Be higher minded, and don't let them drag you down to their level or the level they want you to be. Keep your dignity. You'll be glad you did.
Angela Nicholson so true and gets lost when your mind has been scrambled with mass confusion added with never having that connection with your partner to lift each other up to higher levels of the having a significant other to grow with, learn from, bond with and naturally fall deeper in love with each other so we know in our hearts there’s always someone to count on which lets us want to be there for your partner to and the endorphin energy created from this incredible experience is the life changing dynamic normal people grew up knowing along with providing as empaths do and that mindset gets forgotten because of this horrible, shallow, heartless non human you’ve unfortunately been tricked into thinking is a great person worthy of your time, energy, resources, and kindness they never deserved and just don’t care about the human kindness qualities that is you and defines who you have become !! This insight is the rocket fuel needed to lift, elevate, motivate, and create the greatness that’s been inside you all the way back to the sandbox we played in as a child who learned what respect is for others and how to show it and use it to be a team player that can be that proverbial rock any normal human looks for, wants and is what develops us into being a good person, a person who actually cares for others without hesitation, that’s what’s stolen from us for no reason other then to make a worthless arrogant loser feel better about their selfish, ungrateful ignorant insecure pathetic excuse for a human being, a narcissist life killer that will never change or take responsibility for their lies and blatant cheating entitlement they think they deserve. What a fantastic way of thinking, thank you very much, that just helped me remember who I was before she intentionally sucked the soul out of the awesome, amazing, gifted man I was and now will be again !! Wow that was deep shit lol !!
@@user-el3lm4hf2t you survived it. You are stronger than you probably know. Listen to 417hz, 432hz and 538hz music/sounds, and at night on very low. You were always better than the narc... that's why they chose you. They wanted to use and steal from you what they lack. But embrace your old self again, and see that you are still in there...you just got pushed aside. Narcs are not worth the pain you've been put through. Imagine yourself had you not met them. You are wiser now. And you still have you. Leave the narc behind with that self they turned you into, and move forward with your original, dignified self. Not bitter, just wiser - acknowledging how you got caught out - and then be free. I wish you all the very best in life.
Great stuff Dr. C. This was like discovering there is a second Batman out there. 😂 Lee brings similar principles to the table but with his own unique approach and experiences. I hope he joins us again in the future! I'm really glad you closed with the concept of emotional separation. Can't hear that one enough.
Second Batman 😂 yes!!!!!
@@naturefleur2062 Can just see Dr Les wearing mask & cloak, with Dr Lee.
Curious to say wonder woman pretty too?
0 contact is vital. 🙏💕
Stand back and look objectively, let that person be who they are. Hope that you can have your brother Lee on again, the forensic angle is interesting.
The damage a narcissistic mother can do to her small child "You will never win against me, my dear. My will is stronger than yours! As long as you are living under my roof you will do as I say". A child cannot self protect. A child cannot enforce boundaries, These parents are out to destroy their own kids!!!!
unspeakably tragic in every regard....
My father was like this and also an officer of the law.
You speak from a truthful place. Thank you. Still recovering at 73.
@Janina Palance Yes. My two brothers, sister, and I left the family home in Texas and headed away to avoid each other. I moved to Minnesota, one brother in San Francisco, one in Virginia, and my sister in Colorado. Family reunions are ugly affairs. The effects of narcissism don't stop with the first generation but ripple down.
pitbrand , my Narcissistic mom was a cop too. They sure like being in a position of power....
Thx Dr.C and Dr. Lee! If only all narcissists could be sent to prison for a “healing retreat,” we might have a different kind of world.
Dear Dr. Carter , it's such an honor to meet your brother, thank you both for sharing part of your knowledge, blessings for you!!
I didn't know Dr. Carter had a twin brother!!!
He really does!😉
@@martyrose why the wink? They look alike, but not identical, fraternal I bet
Actually we are identical. In our early childhood photos even I have a hard time telling them apart. Then as adults we have filled out differently. dr. C
@@SurvivingNarcissism I have a friend who has an identical twin, no one can tell them apart, but I can, but can't pinpoint exactly what is different. you should do a side by side with his glasses off at the end! Looking forward to this one!
I knew he had a twin as he mentioned it in a recent upload.
Dr Lee Carter is also so good.Dr C's Parents would have had excellent parenting skills.
Its not always the parentes...some are born nice people
I think they are God bless their parents 😁
Or the opposite. Often people go into psychiatry because of real or perceived family emotional problems in an effort to understand and/or heal themselves.
It's all about me, me, me and you have to please me. If you don't, accept the consequences. Me, me, me, me, me, me... in the spotlight and you in the dark.
I don't remember where or when I heard this:
Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness.
It took me a very long time to realize that this was a gift too.
Once you stop staring into the abyss, you see the true light that shines.
This became my own go to saying. 🙂
🤣🖖💗
Yes! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, enough about me, what do YOU think of me??
@@tanyadavis6138 Brilliant!!
I hear " or suffer the consequences"
all the time. What consequences?
You leave me?? Hooray!!!
You guys are great in synergy.! Might be my only chance to state my love for you Dr Carter. I appreciate your work, contribution to society and your noble characters emense in strength, determination and utmost clarity..
I was raised by a sociopathic criminal who managed to evade the law all his life. His partners all went to prison or died of gunshot wounds. He had enough cash and enough of a heads up to disappear and live much of his life in hiding. I took him in at the end of his life and still had to deal with the consequences of his criminal consciousness. He never woke up in 82 years. He was a malignant narcissist. I understand this pathology entirely. I have a sibling with it who hides in the church now, but the law may catch up with her yet. But I embarrassingly confess that it took me 65 years to figure out how to go no contact. I will never know that feeling your brother describes of being understood; I've let go of needing that. These UA-cam videos have literally saved my life. I thank God for you two and your work.
Over the last forty+ years I've had to become very discerning of therapists when I give them family history. I see their eyes change. I become their "pet project", which unfortunately has never served my personal growth and healing.There are surprisingly FEW therapists truly equipped to handle narcissism. They have some book knowledge but little awareness. You are a gift, Dr. C. Every one of your videos ends with resources.
@@crowquilltarot Hi, I'm Theresa. It's really really hard that most of your life has been like this 😥 Please try to be kind to yourself & acknowledge that these conditions are really complicated & difficult to recognise & protect yourself from especially if those close to you show symptoms only sometimes. You are doing pretty well to just still be here! Even if that does seem pathetic, it's true, right? I hope life gets better & better for you 😊 T
@@Treezp1 :Theresa, thank you for your kind words. My life has provided far more grace than hardship, including a college friend whose older sister was a therapist back in my early 20's. She taught me to take a more holistic approach to my health. Dr. C is uniquely articulate in the pathology of these predators, and of nurturing our own dignity. While it has not been easy, I consider this a lifelong process, and a privilege denied to many less fortunate. One of the biggest breakthroughs came just a few years ago when a psychiatrist finally got through to me that codependency IS a form of addiction. It is only slightly less deadly than substance abuse. Only then was I able to make a clean break.
@@crowquilltarot Thank goodness for some positives out of the negativity! It can take a lot of work to turn your mindset around but YOU did it, with help. I can see that YOU already are creating a better & better life! So good! 🙂❤ T
@@crowquilltarot I had to double check your name.. I too have a female sister.. who has used the church to cover her crimes.. sadly she's about 72ish.. I don't think she's ever going to jail..
It was life changing to get all this understanding, and tools to use when dealing with a narc person. The emotional separation has done wonders for me. I feel more secure within myself and I no longer try to get this person to see my point of view. I ACCEPT that they won’t. And it does not matter what their reason I just don’t expect much from them. Thank you to both Drs!
Yaaay Tomeka! You got it. Same here except I am not 100% perfect yet with my gray rock implementation. Working on it. Without understanding fully what I was dealing with, I was constantly unsettled & walking on eggshells. I did at least realize that I didn't have the knowledge, desire or ability to help him. Early on I knew something was "wrong" but couldn't fully identify it; he refused counseling early on. For years now I have stopped asking. His insanity is on him, not me.
My ex was diagnosed with sociopathy and narcissism, and he was a nightmare. I look forward for this video and, as a bonus, we will have two Dr. C. and possibly Gus 😍
Hi rhere! Not trying to be nosy, but would you mind giving any examples because i am trying to figure mine of 25 years out.... Thank you and i am SO sorry for what you had to go through. I pray that The Good Lord will bless, protect and guide you ans restore to you a 100 fold everything the enemy has taken from you in Jesus' Holy Name.
I'm careful not to use identifying details.
@@sage9836 i understand completely. Thank you for responding back to me.
@@flamingsword777 I'm not the original comment author, but thanks.
@@sage9836 lol, i thought you might have changed your name. That's why i thought it was you, the original commenter. My apologies. Be blessed, protected and joyful in Jesus' Name!
Thank you! Good words, great advice. “It’s not my job to fix you”.
It can be absolutely brutal when someone is FORCED through financial abuse to reside with individuals who steal, lie/gaslight, destroy property, ignore personal boundaries, act highly immature for their age, are passive aggressive, and do NOT clean up themselves.
In addition, the academic abuse, lies, illegal infiltration of electronic devices, destruction of computers/cell phones, is done with INTENT to cause further anguish, and add to the financial destruction.
This is in addition to the other crimes that have been allowed to perpetuate against me (infant daughter, car vandalism, two faulty firings, blocking employment, blocking college applications- where are the application fees?, tampering of food, almost running me over while running/walking in a crosswalk, riding my bicycle etc (Tempe Police know all about this), and other criminal activity.
I can't believe that this has been allowed to happen to someone ! I hope this has not happened to anyone else ! It is absolute lunacy !
This was a great lecture, especially regarding the fact that we must maintain ourselves and can’t change the broken.
It was a pleasure seeing you with your twin brother!
Your parents must be very proud of you two xx
How absolutely wonderful that you both have someone who understands and respects you but also understands and can support your work. What a blessing for each of you. I can see the close family bond and healthy relationship that has formed between you two. Thank you both for sharing and educating us with your experiences and knowledge! God bless you both! And Gus!
I love to listen to your brother ! You both are very lucky to have each other. Very informative conversation. Thank you !
The best description I have heard for a narcissist is a human ponzi scheme. Sooner or later you have to cut your losses and realize you will always put in more than what you get back.
I wish there were more good guys like you two in the world
I figured out years ago that my spouse is a narcissistic sociopath. People who know us both casually would have no idea because he has expertly camouflaged his true nature. Only those of us in his immediate family know who he really is and what he is capable of. He recently asked me what he needed to do to basically get what he wants out of me but he phrased it as "have a better marriage". I listed the things he needed to change, knowing full well he never would even attempt one of them. He came back to me in less than 12 hours and told me that it "isn't worth it". LOL. I know he's shoring up some finances and his public image so when he files for divorce, he thinks he will use all of these things against me. The true sociopath, always cunning and plotting and planning, and using the good people of the world to accomplish their evil.
After I left the narc I got into counseling to help my recovery. Hate to say this cuz I am a very spiritual/religious person but at first I made the mistake of seeking counseling from a minister who after 6 months of counseling told me I needed to start thinking about reconciliation with the narc. This was back in the 80's when hardly anyone knew about narcissism and at the time I thought the narcs primary problem was drugs and alcohol. The minister said I should make a list of non negotiable terms that the narc would need to do for my happiness. I made a list and immediately knew the narc would NEVER agree to any of them. I stayed away and filed for divorce.
Accountability- my narc doesn't want to be held accountable. Something is finally being done about a thee year situation that has been out of my hands. God bless you both!!!
Doctors, your collective service to society is priceless in my humble opinion. I am very impressed by your shared callings in the mental health field. As one who has experienced emotional trauma during many of my 69 years, I can honestly say that what you do is a blessing to so many who suffer. I am one of 3 brothers, fathered by a WW II heroic air combat veteran, who flew 105 combat missions as a bomber pilot, and who sustained so much pain he had PTSD. One of my brothers suffered most of his wrath and has clearly evolved into a apparent ‘classic’ narcissistic personality disorder. It is so sad, but your exemplary lectures have aided me in properly dealing with the resulting family dysfunctions, etc. Thank you both so very much! God bless you!! Heartfeltfully, Robin
You two even talk similar!! So cool to see your brother after someone commented about it in your last video 😊
These videos help me heal
It's interesting to watch you two interact like normal, caring, siblings, as my older brother seeks only to hurt me as much as possible. He is the most toxic human being that I know.
Tommy older brothers who are the golden child must be prone to be like that mine does the same thing.
It sucks that we love them and forgive them then get hurt over and over. You are not alone.
Peace
@Patricia August I had to cut my older sister out too.
The whole immediate family seems to enjoy being buttholes here
I'm sorry you are going through that.
@@decoy2636 Agreed, thank you.
@@3_up_moon Thank you. I have accepted it and moved forward. No contact has been the answer.
Once, I run into your brother’s chanel, right away I recognized similarity between you two, but I wasn’t sure if you are twins, I am glad you solve that enigma for me in this video:) So happy to have you both sitting next to each other and discussed about such a important subject. Your knowledge makes us stronger and more aware of manipulative, agenda oriented people, you give us tools and strength to stand up for ourselves and be healthy and happy humans
Really good show! I was in a relationship with a narcissist/sociopath; almost destroyed my life! Dr. C is right about protecting yourself. They don’t change but can turn on you in dangerous ways. Thank goodness I planned carefully and got out safely. After I left, they continued to pursue. Use all the supports you have and share all your concerns; protect yourself!!
It'sa worry to know narcissistic awareness can even empower the narcissist. To a point it could quite simply turn into a game of Snap.
Everyone wants to win and that is probably with the best advice, not to confront the narcissist if ever the chance should arise. Let 'em play the upper hand and let 'em keep thinking that. Disappearing in the night can really affect the narcissist, especially emotionally. 😘
They can comeback in a cloak of sob stories and promises, but that was it was already so past the point.
They say relationships can end tragically.
Sounds like you finally won Jean.
Every sociopath and psychopath are narcissistic, not all narcissist are sociopath or psychopaths. Yes, there’s a spectrum.
I was with a malignant for 26 years. He almost destroyed me & our daughters sanity. Especially in this last year. Just ask his former best friend how sociopathic he can be. Love bombed his entire family. Stole his wife, kids, home & his life. We are all still in shock.
@@pisces_chick2511 Oh my gosh ! Ugh . What a psycho ! I hope you may begin to share your many, many experiences with him ! 26 YEARS ! Wow . Your experiences would make great vignettes ! I love the vignettes, because, others can relate on a personal level, to them. Because, they are actual and not just made up examples of how these demonic, shells of people operate in our society ! Vignettes help us heal better because, we know someone understands us .
Thank you VERY MUCH for your comment ! YAH BLESS YOU ETERNALLY ! 🌹
Pisces _Chick and (the rest survivors)
Totally understand. 13 years in for me then “I GOT”! I was watching a crime show one day and heard the word narcissist repeatedly, something in my spirit told me to Google that word and when did, I was totally floored. It suddenly all made sense!!
One day I called him a narcissist, called out his behavior and OMG the rage! He knew I KNEW. Told him I’m out (never make that mistake) and he (think Chris Watts) and his psychopath smother tried to take away the kids, called CPS, made false reports of abuse, tried to gain full custody, threaten my life..
Let me tell you about this MAMA BEAR here, what those two never banked on, was me taking off the boxing gloves and going head to head, toe to toe with those m******res for the souls of my children!! I prepared myself in advance for the day in court. I went back to our original place of residence (I was isolated from my family then), got every 35 police report of domestic violence that was filed in that jurisdiction, got myself and the children into therapy with a reputable psychiatrist, well VERSED IN NARCISSISM, who later advocated for me and the children in court.
I won full custody of the kids. He received visitation ONE day a week from 2 to 6, 4 hours. There was a clause in the order that stated: “in the event that one parent cannot make that visitation, to please advise the other within 24 hours”, hold onto that thought.
The FIRST (and only) visit, the children (twins boy & girl 11 at the time), came home anxious, depressed, riddled with anxiety, stated: “mom please we don’t want to go back”, when prompted as to why they didn’t call me immediately, they always knew that I would be there to get them AT-THE-DROP-OF-HAT, had they call me.. they stated: “mom as soon as we got into the car, he took our phones away and when we arrive at his house, his mother was there (unbeknownst to us she had moved in from out of state, set up camp and never moved out), he locked us in the house and his mother verbally abused us for hours”.
She was berating the children! Calling my son a faggot, my daughter fat, tried forcing them to eat what she cooked, despite knowing about certain food allergies, AND he was content to let them be the buffer between him and his smother! 🤬 bitch!
I was floored! See, his smother (spelled correctly) was his puppet master. She taught him how to throw boiling hot water on kittens when he was 5 (found this out one day as he was bragging about it at a friend’s barbecue, needless to say, we were never invited back). I absolutely never ever left alone the kids alone with him, yes, you read that correctly. In the 13 years I never left my kids alone with him, nor his mother...
Long story short (or should I say shorter, cause I’m writing a book here), remember that clause I mentioned in the visitation court order?
I’ll leave it here, let me know if y’all want to hear more, pardon the many typos. This still a form of therapy for me. There’s no expiration date on healing. Take extra gentle care y’all.
@Gordon Fornow this is a public forum, but its all anonymous.
@Gordon Fornow yes but i can say i have fun here both posting and reading. Narcs want us afraid.
Can’t wait!!! I hope Gus will be joining you as well!
Hey Fifi. I know you have a crush on Gus, but since I shot this video at my brother's house he won't be in it. Alas. Dr. C
@@SurvivingNarcissism😃🎵 Fifi & Gus ... 🎼
You surprised us all when you said that you have a twin brother. It was a real pleasure to see you both together doing this video covering a difficult subject. Thank you to both Dr. Carters. 👏👏👏👏
Great to have your twin brother!! AWESOME
Awful subject aside, this is wonderful. Thank you brothers Carter!
An example of a narcissist/sociopath within the context of a supposedly monogamous relationship is one like my ex whose widespread infidelities he characterized as simply wanting to have it all: the marriage and the orbit of women on the side. He believed he was entitled to all of it and was totally insensitive to the hurt and destruction his self-serving behavior caused. The arrogance is astounding and manifests as a blindness to anyone’s needs except the narcissist’s.
Great video. Come back, Lee. Love your tips and insights.
I see brilliance runs in the family!!! I’d love to see more collaborations with your brother!! Thank you!!
sweet baby Jesus, 2 more sleeps! SUPER looking forward to this one - Dr. Carter x 2 + Gus = a happy day!!! will definitely be taking notes!!
Not on gods green earth will I be missing this one!
@@no.9173 are you an AI bot, by chance?
Your brother's awesome, Dr. Carter :)
Thank you!
In the 1990s I served 2 terms in the Board of me tall health in my area. I pressed for public teachings even tracks in doctors office for public awareness of mental/emotional issues. There was a weak acceptance and progress in that direction during my efforts
But Iam thrilled and so proud of you current workers in my field going public with these issues for public safety. Thank you again your work is vital to the mental physical and emotional health of the public
I'm a twin too - but to sit down and have a discussion on matters like this, nope. He is still catering to our narc parent.
"That's why I'm a bad ass..." I recently heard one say about himself. I'd never have guessed it by the way he acted. He even cried about his dog who'd died 3 days earlier, and when he looked at me asked "why aren't you crying?" I had to come up with an answer because I hadn't known the dog and had just met this person. Narcs can be good actors and simply mimmic emotions they believe they should project to get trust and mislead. They know the cues.
You described my Evil Sister. Only my mom had anything to do with her. Her son's hate her, I have a no contact rule for her, my husband say she's an awful human being, my 2 son's hate her too. My mom's favorite was my sister. My mom passed away in March and left her everything. I did not care nor did my son's. My Evil sister sold her house and my mom's house and moved out of state and left her grown sons to take care of themselves. She's done parenting. I did not cry over my mom. I felt relieved. My life is peaceful and happy now.
Thanks for the reminder that no contact is self care.
Thank you for your insights and encouragement. I can't even tell you the depth of horror and betrayal I suffered for 40 years. I'm good now. Praise God.
Your channel has given me so much comfort the past few years as I have endured the abuse of a 4+ year relationship with a overt narcissist who is angry at me daily no matter what I do or don’t do. The smallest wrong word causes a horrific narc wound in him and I try to mentally disconnect but I’m an HSP and it hurts. This has been a pattern my entire life. I’m always with angry people, grew up with angry family members and I’m a peacemaker who loathes arguing. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like a bug on the floor he’s trying to squish and it drains me and I’m trying to crawl away on my last legs. There is so much to be done to get ready to go and I’m so exhausted from the mental torment, not to mention having chronic pain/illnesses. But I hold hope close to my heart and I just pray I get to the other side of this,
Thank You to both Dr. Les & Lee Carter, for this information regarding Narcissists and Narcissistic Sociopaths. You both have a gift for helping to understand such an important subject.
Great video from the two Dr Carter’s! I wish my brother would have encountered Dr. Lee Carter. My brother was 7.5 years older than me, smart, talented, but cunning. He did very mean things to me I was fortunate to live through. Some of the physical trauma affects me still today. As a young adult, he murdered a guy, went to prison. He was released from prison, but came out more awful than he went in. I cut ties with him, I had to for my own well being. A few years later, news came he himself had been murdered. I didn’t think of him as being a sociopath until watching this video. I just knew he was a dark, troubled soul.
Thanking God for protecting me from my brother, and my ex husband, and for the abundant wisdom that flows from both Dr Carter’s. And for Gus, because he is, well, Gus. Seeing him always makes me smile.
Incarceration several times taught my Ex Narc to be more covert in his crimes in prison and after release🙄 The career criminal drug dealer,hates drug users,and wants to become a facilitator for prison rehabs🤦♀️
My ex was diagnosed with sociopathy and npd and still my family and friends believe him. He is gentle and charming on the surface. behind closed doors he was pure evil. anger always simmered below the surface and when the rage came out I was terrified. He lied cheated spoke with contempt and a smirk. If I cried he walked away or became furious. Then I was called names with his fist in my face. There was so much. He would punish me by silent treatment for sometimes weeks, and then tell my family,ily it was me treating him so poorly. I just didn’t realize at the time. It is the most difficult thing I’ve had to accept, I know I can’t change things or hope they will see him for who he truly is (at first I tried) but I feel as if even though I’m moving on with my life, true healing will never happen without feeling heard.
@wildower: OMG! You just described my relationship with my spouse!!!
(It *Is* hard on your own soul to not be heard!)
I'm in the same boat with you. I'm so sorry 😢
Double dose of wisdom! Loved it. Thank you, Drs.
Oh God a double blessing! You were born and made to help us all, your minds breath and radiate compassion and smartness! Thank you!
Wow!!! We get blessed with TWO of them!!! How AWESOME!!!
THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH FOR ALL YOU DO!
Dr. Carter (Les), I hope you consider the possibility of having your brother on more of your UA-cam shows. Maybe not every show, but perhaps once a month he could join you and the topic would be something pertinent the two of you could compare and contrast. You could bounce thoughts and ideas off each other, with the effect being a more entertaining, more thoughtful, more mind expanding program. The show could be titled “A Carter Two-fer”
Well done! Your show is greatly appreciated by me and many many more.
To me, this was a bit frightening. Having recently discovered the multi-prism facets of Narcassism - not sure I can handle any more wickedness. Yikes. As always, thank you so much for making such informative videos Dr. Carter(s)
@LOVE Conquers ALL - I am so sorry for your cruel, needless suffering. Glad u r free & healing. Yay you.
You have a twin!
Not my job to fix. Makes my heart ache to have to distance from at least one I naively loved. He is dying so my feelings well up and I have to remember nothing I can do except be me. I can still have compassion and the inability to connect now still hurts. I have learned so much here. Thank you all.
That was awesome Dr. C
MY NARCISSIST TELLS ME STOP TELLING HOW AND WHAT I FEEL..I TELL HIM WELL YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK FOR YOU.
Hello Lee glad you came to share with us online. Come back soon. Thanks again cd Dr. C
two people who are dismanteling and counseling, amazing
I'm binge watching your video's today, It really helps after a day of interacting for too long with the narcissist. It was so nice to see and hear from your brother. Thank you both for all you do to help others.
Wow! It's so cool that you have a twin brother, Dr. Carter! I have a twin brother, too! 😃
Thanks for another great video!
When he said what do you think doc? What he was really doing was gauging how much respect he's going to get from you in the future and how much he has now.
I feel liberated going no contact for 6 years now. Thanks.
The first thing that comes to mind when seeing you two guys together is what wonderful parents you were blessed with.
They have such kind voices . . .💚
Southern accents
He tried to come back just the other day. Thank you for all of your videos. I was finally strong enough to not even react. It's taken years ❤
Stay strong!! Dr. C
Thank you. It's been horrible. ♥️🙏
I'm looking forward to this one, very good topic, indeed.
With this information, I think I can make it through being married to the person you just described. I do practice self care and take alot of alone time. That way I'm not subject to ' saying or doing the "wrong" thing'
Being berated, getting the cold shoulder and the silent treatment.
Being threatened, or put down.
I think he wants a divorce.
It's always my fault. And most of the time it's not. But I own up to it when it is my bad. I can't be perfect.
No one can!! I have a great therapist
who helps me understand how sick he really is. And it helps me to get through living with a bipolar narcissist. 😑
THANK YOU DOCTORS. GREAT TO SEE YOUR TWIN DR. LES. A QUITE NATURED GENTLEMAN TOO. THE SOUD WAS A BIT QUITE WHEN HE SPOKE THOUGH. HOPE TO SEE YOU TOGETHER AGAIN SOON. VERY INTERESTING TALK. FROM NANA, AUSTRALIA
You guys are so great, I don't have siblings ..... must be lovely to have a brother and both of you be such sweet guys. Makes sense to commit crime you'd have to be cold hearted. It's hard to imagine when you are empathetic and sensitive just how someone becomes so cold. Psychopaths being born is easier to understand but to become a sociopath one must have to undergo terrible maltreatment and have a propensity towards low empathy to be able to become so callous. It's the opposite to me. Born sensitive and empathetic all maltreatment did was make me more so but to suffer myself. Their maltreatment makes them treat others badly..... early intervention for children is the only way to decrease these patterns but as a society we don't care enough. Just terrible that in 2022 it's not a priority. I can tell you're so proud of your brother..... 👍 ✌
@8:38 wow, this couldn’t ring more true with my experience. A tremendous observation.
Yikes I met those types and they are scary. Totally toxic.
It must have been a joy to raise you both and see the good humans you have become. You are very lucky to have eachother- and we are lucky to have both of you! God bless.
THANK YOU DR. CARTERS!!! THIS is why laws must change and protect people from psychological abuse. If we don’t start holding these abusers accountable so that they can finally sit with their wrongdoings, they will never change. Society is just enabling and perpetuating their wrongdoings.
Seeing double! You two and Gus, I can't wait to meet the other Dr. C
I have a sister who is a true Sociopathic Narcissist ... a charmer who knows how to fake empathy, self-promote, turn on the tears, and pretend to care. Seconds later, she's ripping her subjects to shreds. When I say "subjects", I mean that as in she always has to have a pool of subjects to manipulate and control, usually through the use of gifts and "loans". When she can't control someone, she assembles her soldiers and attacks her opponent as the Narcissist. Rules, no matter how seemingly small, don't apply to her. Several times over the years, I've suggested that she seek professional counseling - she refuses, saying "no, I'm not the one who needs help, YOU ARE!". In her mind, everyone else is the problem.
One of our siblings said it best; "she's a creepy little woman who plays creepy little games".
She probably has mood swings and plays the popularity game, maybe it can gone too far signaled by lingering immaturity. 'could turn into something more serious than victimization and swinging fists. Women (on the topic) are generally termed as 'socially deconstructing of conflict' and providing the higher power of reason (not treason like with the soldiers). Apparently they have a emotional capacity that exceeds the usual male by atleast times six. When she says '...you are!' that's possibly a reference to 'how can you know, you don't even feel (a little bit haywire as it seems)?' Maybe deep down it means you are, not are you... Be glad she's only your sister. As a brother (what ever she computates that to be) you are still a model or pillar in her life and connection to her own emotion propensity. You can love her, just the same, she will always know you and one day if you pull through she will love and admire you for that exact reason. Look out for your family Robert L, they can abandon you after you think they love you, they can amass and support you after you think they don't care. When will you both make a start on your own?
On the subject of women, they always do better on a special diet. So many things can irregulate their hormonal balance.
How often do you seem delicate to her?
Does she think you're a stud? 🤠💪😲
@@bertzerker747 She's already taken the abandonment approach with her husband and young children, years ago. The Court sided with her husband, later, during a custody battle. And, she's abandoned each sibling, using back and forth manipulation tactics. She's ALWAYS the victim and never shown true remorse for her behaviors. Because of legal obligations (a Will currently in Probate), I have about 30 more days of her behavior and then the cords will be forever cut.
My sister had a problematic childbirth. You'd think she hates my guts, but it's not all the time. She used to beat me and sometimes still does. She's turned out to be our mother's favourite little creature. A version of co-dependence.
All the times growing up she insisted I get a life. At 46 I now have one (she's just a bit older). She is totally not interest in it. Do I pitty her?, no, if she is well and amassed in her own selfishness or inclinations I couldn't be more happy for her. But here and there when I take a chance to see it, she is like a loyal servant, yet I could never snap my fingers for her to automatically follow an order or even a simple instruction of my own. Perhaps that is her instinctive way to present her own validity and a distance boundary. It can aid me with the interest to open my own which some how catches or flatter her in the moment.
Pretty unique hugh?
@@Robert_L22 are you the relative?
Wonderful to see your brother appear as a guest on your show 👏 Thanks for this topic!
It is so healing and comforting to see the lovely healthy kind relationship between you....
That was awesome. Thank you so much. Left my narcissist husband 6 months ago after 20 years. So hard to think without his voice and judgements to find reality about my self my life my mistakes that he doesnt define. Trying to help my children untangle and heal. I am ad close to no contact as possible but still entwined via money and business.
You've just described my twin brother and that scares me. I'm always afraid I'm acting like this because of him and I work everyday not to be that guy.
Thankfully, Lee and I are on the same page. Dr. C
@@SurvivingNarcissism I wish I had the relationship with my twin you two seem to have 😞
Omg. No words. Best thing ever to have two Dr Carter s🤩
I didn't know you had a twin. Two Dr. Carters makes for a blessed world. I hope you'll have your brother on with you again. You two are a great team.
Thanks! Dr. C
That is so cool. Thank you Dr. Carter it's nice to finally meet Lee
I ended a friendship with a narcissistic sociopath... he would tell me all about his destructive desires towards himself and other people, addicted to drugs and alcohol since he was a child. His incredibly mentally unstable parents were given custody of his daughter from a previous relationship. I think about that poor kid every day and hope for a better future for her. Don't run away from these people - start sprinting! "They're broken people who want to break you" is absolutely correct! Thanks to the Carter Bros for an excellent message!
Please bring your brother back for some more episodes🙏💕
How lovely to have your twin with you Dr Carter!
How lovely! Y'all so sweet and smart! Good human beings still exist
Your mother is so blessed to have such amazing sons wanting to help so many. MashaAllah.
Thank you. She's been gone over 11 years, but her influence remains inside. Dr. C
When I was a TV reporter, I interviewed murderers, rapists, and pedophiles who abused children and EVERY ONE OF THEM saw themselves as the victim and was full of self-pity. They have a strong victim mentality and in their minds that justifies what they did. I asked one man, who murdered two people, how he thought they felt. He looked puzzled, as if he had never even considered that before, and then he said "I guess they must have felt scared."
Yup. So true. "Broken people who want to break you". My narcissistic bf isn't even aware he's doing this! Fortunately for me, and for him as I find him to be pitiful, I am an extremely strong woman. I may get beaten down (emotionally) sometimes but I bounce right back. I dont let his behavior to pull me down often, although it's taken years to get to this point. Break me? I think not....
I feel so blessed to hear from two Dr. Carters today! It was a double dose of caring, empathy, and affirmation! You are both clearly doing what you are called to do, and you are helping so many people. I also have a brother that shows caring and understanding. Too bad my own narc husband doesn't want to love or be loved. So sad.
your brother is great. Please have him back
Oh my goodness 2 peas in a pod!! We Love both of you wonderful men!! Thanks so much for all you do 💖