always quit everything you start? let's find out why. (and how to fix it)
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- Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
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hey there partner!! so so happy to be back and to talk about something that has helped me IMMENSELY in sticking to things and inching closer to living my dream life bit by bit ;)
I hope you can find something in this video that will assist you in finding long-term contentment as well!! I love y'all and lil bts tea to anyone even bothering reading the whole description box: I cried a bit after I got done filming the scene in which I'm wearing the beige hat (I think you can hear it when I say 'they're not alone' because reading this out is what broke me haha - because on that day I LITERALLY could have really used someone like me and then it clicked and I was like 'wow I'm really not lying when I say this') because unfortunately as life goes I got some really bad news that day. And as I sat there having my lil 'letting it all out'-moment, I realized how much worse I'd be doing if I received these news whilst still living the way I did two years ago. Even though creating an entirely new life is anything but easy, these kinds of rewards you get when you realize 'yeah today I might really be back at rock bottom', but this new rock bottom isn't anywhere close as deep as the one you'd have fallen to before, makes it all worth it. And I wish each and every one of y'all the same exact moment of realization as well. None of what I say is to tell you 'this is how you'll always be happy' because there's nothing more unrealistic (and honestly less fulfilling) than that. All we want is for us to be able to deal with the trials and tribulations life WILL throw at us in as healthy of a way as possible. For me it meant giving myself the time to let go for a bit and then return to doing what I love. I probably am in the minority when I say 'social media' gives me strength but it truly is only because of you. I won the lottery bc you bought a ticket, so truly, earnestly, genuinely, sincerely from the bottom of this girl's - who has spent years feeling so so so lonely - heart, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I'll go listen to some sappy music now and enjoy the rest of this wonderful day. Do me a favour and treat yourself today, I love you! ❤️
0:00-2:21 do you always quit everything?
2:22-3:59 finding out why you always quit everything
4:00-5:39 a breakdown sometimes is a breakthrough
5:40-6:56 what is a 'why'
6:57-9:24 how to use journaling for reflection
9:25-11:49 how to find your core 'why'
11:50-13:56 why quitting with a 'why' is so unlikely
new years resolution 2024
why new years resolutions suck
why new years resolutions never work
how to set sustainable goals
how to achieve all of your dream goals
how to know who you are
how to make 2024 your year
how to make 2024 the best year of your life
why you need to celebrate your growth
how to grow as a person
why you need to script your life
why you need core moral values
how to set core moral values
how to change your life
how to actually change your life in 2024
how to sustainably change your life
how to use the butterfly effect
why you should script your life
why scripting works
how to write your life's script
how to stop daydreaming
how to make your dreams come true fast
how to be yourself
how to know who you are
how to be authentically you
how to be myself
limerence
obsessing over fictional characters
how to stop obsessing over fictional men
how to stop coping with daydreaming
daydreaming coping mechanism
how to stop escaping reality
impact theory
101 sustainable goal setting guide
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Perfectionist here! The spiral you're describing to avoid is the one I'm trying to get out from under through therapy. Compare self to others -> be ashamed of my own life -> want to change to remove the shame -> try something that's supposed to make me more like others -> it doesn't work -> blame myself for it not working and feel like a failure -> more shame -> decide to find a new solution to remove the shame -> look to others for solutions -> compare self to others. Rinse, repeat.
My new "why" is to focus on healthy striving in order to be more content with my life. I have this very visceral picture in my head of just sitting on a couch with a cat and a book, being comfortable in my skin (weight loss) in a clean, peaceful home (decluttering) with social plans in the near future (trying to get out of the house more) that I can afford (budgeting/debt payoff).
your cycle articulates everything i thought i never could tysm! i need to show someone this bc im struggling
"Being an adult is a scam: you sell yourself the exact same activities a child did for free, in a worse body, and you have to pay for extra 'why' on top of them."
"I am enough and I deserve to create a future which no one but myself needs to be excited about." Thank youuuu! I wish I had someone like you to look up to when I was struggling in the same way.
I "wasted" two years studying for a degree that I was never going to finish, came to terms with the fact that it just wasn't for me, changed my degree, and now even though I love what I'm studying I still hate that I'm "behind" everyone. Even though I have totally valid external reasons for why I'm not on time. But that's not enough to comfort me - other people pushed through even harder situations and finished on time, so why couldn't I?
So it really is nice seeing I'm not alone. You did it, you reached your target audience. :)
I really needed to see this comment today. I am in my fourth semester of my finance degree and I absolutely hate it. I might switch it next semester to math and economics or math and English literature. I will be behind but I can’t go through another business class. I wish I just did what I originally wanted to do earlier, but I didn’t think I was smart enough for those type of degrees. Even if you feel that you are behind, you still made the right decision because you are studying what you love.
@@SofiaPea22 there's no such thing as "smart enough" for a degree!! I think some degrees do require extra preparation, if it's not a field you're familiar with, but doing a degree is mostly just hard work. There's no magical innate intelligence that makes you not have to study - choosing a degree you actually like just makes the work more rewarding :)
Oh my i relate to this so much, i also changed my degree and I constantly feel behind everyone... And also i feel you with feeling like people pushed through harder times.... I hope your degree will work out for gou and you won't feel like that anymore one day ❤
@@smallbigbaby 100% this
no because you just changed my entire life by making me realize that we should draw reasons from interests/positives and not from fears/negatives...
As I lie in bed depressed and anxious and feeling the pressure to BE something, it is heartening to know I am not alone. Thank you for what you're doing. It is working. Your videos and my therapy and deep rest are the best things I'm doing for myself right now.
I'm very proud of you!!
Yes, we are not alone! ❤
big yes to all of this, however, i at times struggle with answering these "whys" and believing the answers i give because what if i'm just lying to myself to comfort and to feed into the narrative i've been living for so long and that the real whys feel scary and disruptive of the foundation... ya know what i mean?
You look like Bloom from Winx, girl! RED is SO your colour! I love the way it looks on you ❤😉
Thank you so much!! (fun fact: I was OBSESSED with Winx as a kid so this is a HUGE compliment ❤️🧚♀️)
@@iCharlyprime Thank you for answering me, lovely, made my day! :) I was ALSO obsessed with Winx❤️❤️ In fact my most favourite character was Bloom, quickly followed by my alternative queen MUSA❤️ and Queen Stella of course💛⭐️
I watched the tv show, collected the comix, had the trading cards... Ah what a time!
bruhhh i was so worried about going back to uni today and deciding on a degree and this popped up in my reccommended... to say i needed this vid is an understatement. thanks, and awesome editing skills! vid not only had me flabbergasted and searching deep inside my inner self but also was entertaining :D
I don't know if you're worried about it, but incase you are, once this series is over I'm going to stick around. I love this series so much, but I also love the way you make videos and I love fashion too, so regardless the topic, I'll be looking forward to it! 💗
Girl, I feel like sometimes your thoughts pop out exactly like mine. All I can say is that your thoughts, the way you tell your own story just implies how genuine your soul and emotions are. I am so grateful I found your channel! It just justifies for me, that in today’s ,,luxorious” world and society, where individualism is more celebrated than ever, it is even more harder to find yourself, and stick to that “fluid”, than ever. Hope I can support your channel in the future, it is truly needed in the deep realms of girlypop youtube. Sending love from Hungary xoxo!!!!
I'm working on my journey as a writer right now, I want to develop entertaining but thoughtful stories in forms like animated series...or novels...or video games (still debating). I've always found comfort in stories that show the facets of the world's soul but do it in a way that's unique, digestible and fun. So I'd like to provide the insights I've learned through my life and insights from the people I've interacted with for those who may need a comforting story in the future
Bestie!! I'm literally amazed by the similarities I see between us! Your content truly resonates with me, and it has inspired me for my own journey of creating art and content aimed at fostering personal development. I am currently studying for exams and making content after that and your video has truly inspired me to give my best to the exams..ah! Content creation...This is deeply rooted in my desire to heal my inner child and offer help, particularly to younger girls or boys. While my current focus is around my exams, my main goal is to create self-love and personal development content, with a specific emphasis on fields of study and self development... I believe that by doing my best in my studies, I can not only boost my own confidence and potential but also gather valuable learnings and methods in acadmics that I can share with others through my content. Your journey has been a source of inspiration for me..AND YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR have always cracked me up!💜💜😭✨✨love u
The best 14 mins solution for all my problems ✨
Oof, this is a tough one to swallow. I'm wrestling now with a degree in maths as a person who was never very good at it, in hs anyway. It's not as black and white as just me hating every part of it, I actually came to love some of it, especially working together with other people on problems and teaching younger people. However, I often go back to the anxiety of "not being good enough" which I taught myself to have following a somewhat messed up childhood. I'd like to think that, in my case, it's just about having to let go of expectations (which is hard afff!!!) and just enjoying the process of learning something as creative as maths can be.
Thanks so much for what you're doing Charly! ❤️
wtf thats exactly the question with all the perfect answers I searched for today and then your video pops up :) tysm greetings from germany
I use the My Character Notion template that you provided in a previous video every week and it's been helping me so much in improving myself in ways that will make me happy. Thank you for being awesome!
Thank YOU for being here and letting me know how it's going!! Truly so so happy to hear you're doing well and are taking care of yourself ❤
Don't even get me started. The concept of character is absolutely marvelous and a game changer for me!
Same here, I use it and surprisingly, I'm not bored of it yet and it still works for me. I usually abandon this type of routine after a week or two. Thanks, it's a really great tool 😊
Hi! I'm really curious about this template, could you please tell me under which video i can find it ?
@@fodor6864 Hi! It's a video of hers titled "Let's not waste another year inside your head - how to ACTUALLY change your life in 2024 (101 guide)"
I really felt it when you spoke about your college experience. I spent 6 years trying to do engineering because i was forced into that direction at a young age. It took a complete breakdown for me to change and chose to follow my dream of being a writer.
Wow the uni thing dude. Deeply resonated with me, I'm at college for the 3rd time this time and I actually like what im studying and want it for my future. All this time I thought I was just a quitter but I was just trying to emulate what worked for others not myself.
Dude I was just thinking of you and how I haven't seen your videos in a minute and you JUST posted. Nice to see u again :))
Nice to have you back!! 🌞
I have been thinking about this everyday for the past month. I had to drop out for a couple semesters because I was too tired to handle it due to overtime work and really everything I was doing in college made me want to rip my hair out in boredom. I was doing it for a higher paying and possibly remote job(to see my family more states away). I didn’t like any other aspect of it. It’s taking every bit of me to convince myself to go back. Now I got myself into feeling like a failure, but this video helped so much ❤ gotta start journaling
As an aspiring musician, those violin note edits makes me wanna fall for you. Brilliant storytelling!
Your videos always rock my shit in the best ways possible. Thank you for all your time, effort and love, Charly. Also? Your fits are incredibly drippy. That green jacket? Gorge!
Girl, you’re an angel
Just wanted to say, your helping me a lot. Even if it isnt that much, knowing that people have similiar problems and are moving on and dealing with them, healing themself. It just makes me so happy. So thank you ❤️ (and your videos are funny, creative and so enjoyeble :D)
Love this, love your vibe, love your style! You don't know how badly I needed to hear this today! Am about to embark on maybe the hardest (and most exciting!) project I've ever done, but I'm terrified of quitting before I've really begun (like so many other times in my life). Will be keeping this is mind for sure
i love your videos SO much, that every single time you post, i do a lil dance of excitement. Your content truly helped me realise that currently, and for the past years, i've been doing it all wrong. I can only hope that with this new realisation i can reach the ultimate goal i was actually striving for all this time. Thank u
Your videos bring a GREAT sense of relatibility. You're great at what you're doing. Please keep doing
i just asked myself why i wear makeup and sometimes it’s because i compare myself to others or feel ugly but my main why is because it enhances my features and gives me confidence ❤
I just had to rewatch this video to let it sink in which is something I rarely do. Your style is so fun and dynamic and truly didactic, and this video is just what I needed now that I'm trying to overcome my literal phobia of jobs and I need to think about what work I want to do in the first place. Yeah, "none" is a tired joke. I obviously need to work to have money and not die, but you see that's not the motivator we think it is, right? I have quit a lot of shit in my life and I've always been burdened by shame, so thanks for making me see the connection between the two. Idk, I'm still figuring it out, but I'm starting to feel like I will actually follow through shit this year.
You did such a great job on this I had to watch it twice. YASSSSS gurl I have no idea how I found your crazy ass but I’m glad I did. I’m sure I’m 10 (read 20 )years older than you (but I don’t look it 😜) and I’m still picking up all the gems. I’m glad you answered the call of your calling.
Keep doing you boo ✌🏽
You will be famous. I can tell. Please keep up the great work
I have watched and read self help content for probably thousands of hours but the way you put this really spoke to me in a unique way so thank you deeply ❤
I wasted 5 years of my life to make my parents happy. I finished law school then I completed my training as a lawyer but I couldn't fit in that world. Still confused and lost but I try to find my way and "why"
I know this video will stay with me throughout my life so thank you! I’ve been rethinking every desire I have and what is the reason for it and everything is clicking
You have no idea how much I LOVE your videos. They give me so much perspective on myself and how I’ve been feeling. Thank you so much
I only discovered your channel this month, and you’ve already become a favorite of mine! Keep it up, your content is so profound and well made!
I started to feel a little overwhelmed with how I always start something and never finish and your video popped up. Couldn't have been better timing. Thank you for this. I really needed to hear it. Journaling to reflect is something I already do and it has helped me a lot 😭🙏
Things which have helped me so far:
1. Make MONTHLY resolutions. Yearly ones get absolutely nowhere. Of course, you can decide a yearly one then decide the smaller steps for each month based on that, but never do just a yearly one. You end up writing them on a piece of paper, then forgetting about them, and the paper, entirely.
2. Make them small. Small steps.
3. If you're trying to get rid of habits, then find replacements! If you only get rid of the habit and have no placement, then you'll just have a load of time with nothing assigned for it (especially if it's something like to stop gaming after you've spent your whole childhood gaming 16 hours a day 😎😎), which causes boredom, and thus for you to give up on it. Become so adjusted to the replacement habit that it's just natural and you don't even have to think about it. That only comes with practice. A lot of time, slowly pulling yourself towards the new habit. Especially if you're autistic like me, new stuff is very difficult and you'll often find yourself autopiloting to your old habits instead of your new ones, but you'll get there.
4. Use a journal and gamification. I've started gamification for this month, and trying to get better with my system. Basically, certain habits give a certain number of points. You could even make yourself a system where, the better you do something, the more points you earn. Maybe make yourself rewards too, so the points actually mean something.
5. Make yourself a game revolving around the habits you're trying to do (like, on Scratch)... I want to try that tbh. That just popped into my head lmao.
6. And yeah, like you said, have a "why". I have a table for my habits and goals in my journal and that is one of my columns. Put literally _everything_ you can think of. Don't feel too ashamed to put something down, as though anyone cares about your journal enough to read through it.
I've quitted everything I've done since I can remember. I put the last of 20 years of my life into perspective and it's ridiculous. The only hating I started and finished is attempting university for the third time after quitting twice before. And I did that so well! Perfectionism is definitely one the issues!
I relate to this so deeply! I recently came to a similar process with myself, in finding the real WHY and fixing things accordingly. It is extremely helpful to see that I am not alone in this.
Your videos have helped me immensely. I have struggled with feeling comfortable in my own skin and these videos have helped me feel like I'm not the only one struggling to make myself a better version of me! Thank you so very much for sharing in these videos, and you have helped so many people (including me) gain a better mindframe!
Thank you so much for this video. It really has something therapeutic about it. As a fellow deeply anxious and insecure girl, I find it calming to hear your experience, which is super relatable. Kuddos to you for being able to make the decision to follow what you're really passionate about. I love your videos, keep it up!!
i get so happy when you post a video.
I’m getting close to starting college so the anecdote was really appreciated. Choosing a degree is so scary! 😭
Your content is so great!
This made me think a lot. At times we think that we want to take the same path others did when they are doing something amazing or healthy or good in the eyes of everyone (or so I used to think before), but at times we feel so worthless that we want to take the path of self-destructive behaviors just because that can make us feel like the others out there. Does that make sense? I don't know if it's because we wanna be "cool" like them, or just because we feel so separate from everyone and so alienated from our human experience, that we just want to feel we're sharing that misserable state of mind with the rest of the people. It's very dangerous.
Not here to share my why (still figuring that all out, honestly,) but to thank you. I also made a huge, expensive, life-changing decision based (in hindsight) largely in fear and avoidance. This video helped release some of the shame I still feel around it and in quitting and gave me some direction in how to find the right mountain. ❤ I also loved your "build your character" video (because I've NEVER self-inserted into the DnD characters I've played for free group therapy or anything. /s) Feel like I've found a kindred spirit in you and your channel. :)
Quality as always ❤
my 'why' is, i want to help people. i want to help people thrive. because i love humanity. i want us to grow, and change, and realise it can be better and we DESERVE better. my main barrier to pursuing my goal of pushing the world toward positive change is a combination of my shitty-ish household (dad is outright an ass and mum is an enabler) and clinical depression. i need to do a bunch more introspection to move onto more actionable, more short-term goals, like what kind of activity energises me and draws me in so i know how to start making my own money so i can leave this icky house.
in other areas, tho, i can work on starting already. i need a support circle of irl people, firstly, and secondly i need a psychiatrist to prescribe me meds for my Undiagnosed Neurodivergency and Clinical Depression. those, i just need to start. well. maybe i do need to unpack some trauma first there too, tbh WHEEZE, but i think that can be worked on simultaniosly. hopefully. basically godspeed to me, hope that mf finds what he's looking for in the future
Please upload every week!! :( i missed you
this video comes at the perfect time
Girl. You're gold
Honestly, this is such a hard question to answer for me. My therapist will be hearing about this✨️
I love your videos 😭❤️
I feel like my core why IS public perception. Like I want to read so that I am interesting and smart for other people…
Thank you for this video
What a great video, thank u sm!❤
this video was so helpful as a young creative!! thank you so much for making these vids :-)
Thank YOU for watching them, glad it helped!! ☺
what would we do without the original gorge ❤but for real your videos have helped me in literally every way possible so thank you for getting me to think about my life in a plethora of ways that make me excited for my future instead of dreading it
You make me feel so seen, you should start a podcast!!! I would listen to every episode
I wonder if it would be most motivating for me to have a Why of "because I want to. I don't have to explain myself to you (me)."
I have a hard time valuing my own wants and needs and most of my procrastination is blamed on other people being around or possibly disagreeing with my choices. Saying yes or no to something shouldn't have to have an explanation. I'm not going to because I don't want to and I don't need to explain why. My desires should be respected on their own merit.
and when there is no 'why' at the bottom of that well of self-reflection and all that your years of searching have found is an unfulfillable prerequisite to doing anything at all?
the dirty carpet clip at the end made me laugh, you are indeed funny! ☺💗 great video!
4:05 Damn this hits hard, but from the point of being intellectually slow instead of emotion stuff.
This couldn't have hit closer to home! 😦
I've been strugiling with sticking to things my entire live, then I discover I have ADHD. Fun fact: Ryder Carrol also has ADHD.
Thank you 🙏🏻
great video! also that green leather jacket makes your eyes POP! but i bet you knew that ;]
Thank you ❤
As the video passed I fell in love with you❤❤
My why: I want to have a secure & stable job with a fair income. Because I can't be another one in the family who isn't making money. My parents are getting older and so are my sibilings, and none of them are doing better financially or mentaly. So If I can atleast assure that I can get plenty of money, then perhaps I can take responsibility for my whole family or atleast help them out by only abit. I am doing this because I can't be another failure (someone who failed to achive what they worked for/ dreamed off) in this family. And in all honesty, I hate it immensely, that I can't take a risk and do something creative and what I want. I hate that I can't actually live my life how I want, since if I fail then I will have nothing to get me up again.
your hair is so 🔥
My why is because I want to tell stories
oh my god I forgot about the emoji movie
I havent finished watvhing the whole video but god, you look like a renaissance painting 😭😭😭 6:51 right here. And during this entire segment.
Everytime I see her I be like, dammm.... how can someone be so pretty
Couldn't have uploaded at a better time. I have a job interview on Friday 😬
Your curls are so cute
Thank you!!
OMG where is your mic from???
Charly, for the past 3 videos you have been narrating my life and I need you to stop so I can keep complaining and doing nothing !!!!
Quiting is the only thing I never quit lol
this hit too close to home haha
i dont get i
💚
❤
wow im early
you lost me at the skillshare ad
it’s because i have adhd, charly 💀
same
are u neurodivergent?
Great tips, I will definitely try the journaling but and see where it gets me! But i would looooove to know what you did to get your pachira to look so gorgeous! That queen is GivIng and leaving no crumbs 🤌🏼❤️
woah skillshare pls sponsor me too
lots of insights from the video! thank you!
Thank you so much 🥲 truly