I really feel for the 16 year old. I also don’t think he can be called materialistic seeing that if they weren’t going to gift them all equally he didn’t want to get any gifts at all. You have the right to say you don’t want presents too. It’s a pretty clear sight from the parents which kids they value more. I’m surprised he hasn’t moved to his dad, full time. If the mother doesn’t rethink, she’s going to lose him.
Restaurant story: Why didn't she just get two starters if the restaurant didn't have any entrees she wanted? I've done that before, you just ask for them to come out with the main meal.
I disagree about the husband who refused to go along w his wife's lie. He was totally allowed to say something to defend his reputation. I don't think he's an ahole for standing up for himself.
Exactly! If she wants to publicly embarrass him he can publicly defend himself. Chances are if he hadn’t nipped that in the bud right then and there he would’ve had to go in with people thinking he’s incompetent because she most likely wouldn’t have corrected it at a later date because then she’d look like a bigger a hole
I agree. If anything, she should have been singing his praises for stepping up and doing such a good job keeping everything together in her absence. He is NTA.
Nah the 16 year old was well in his rights to feel a way. The parents made a set in stone standard and treated him differently. You can't treat someone differently than the other children and expect them not to eventually break. Why are you expecting an adults response to this situation. That's a child. They reacted like a child. The adults are full Asses and the kid is not an ass at all
Yeah, I think since Dusty has a blended family he's assuming they work like his where there is a genuine love for all the kids. Sadly, not all blended families are that way. It could very much be that it's not about "well he gets gifts from dad" and could absolutely be an intentional "This is our way of showing you're not important as the other kids". Admittedly, teenagers aren't always reliable narrators, but I'd bet OP knows more about if this is some intentional thing or not.
I will never not be shocked that so many people actually defended the OP in the one where she refused to attend her husband's celebratory dinner because there weren't enough chicken and fish options on the menu. 🙄
For story 4: As a teen who has a blended family with 2 siblings on each side(mom and dad), the kid has every right to feel like that. With my siblings on my mother’s side, none of us share a father so we each have our split christmases but even still, my brother and sister received more(quantity and quality) gifts than I did and though I never brought it up it still hurt especially as I got older and I got even less gifts due to my age. On my father’s side, my 2 sisters share a mother so they don’t get split christmases as their parents are still together. I no longer see my mother or siblings due to some bad circumstances so I also don’t receive split christmases but I’m not necessarily included in my sisters’ christmases and I celebrate with my father’s family therefore also receiving less gifts due to my age as well. TLDR: The kid has every right to feel that way especially being given the same reason why every time and the fact that it also happens on his birthday too.
Story 2: Im a pretty pick eater and have alot of food sensory issues but If there was something on the menu that I some times eat! like I have eaten this before its not my first choice but its my only food here that I have eaten before like the steak that she "RARELY EATS" i will go because thats where everyone especially my man wants to go. she was just refusing to go to be difficult. she admitted to eating steak before it wasnt a big thing till she made it. I aggree def the bhole
1000% disagree with the idea the husband should have gone along with the wife’s “joke” about his not being able to handle the kids and house while she was gone. She started that lie. She is insecure. She should have slept her happy ass on the couch. OP needs to read the story of the man whose wife told her friend he never cooks. Though he’s a professional cook and makes special individual dinners for each of his family members. Including her ungrateful butt. He went on strike and refused to make her dinner. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
For story 6: Disney trip.. I feel like most petiole are mad at the wife for going along with it and not remembering that the grandparent that is dying is HER DAD. She probably can’t see past the part where she would get to experience these things, yes with her daughters and their grandpa, but with HER DAD. I don’t know that I would be able to to think of anything else besides moving heaven and earth to go on that trip with my dad before he does……
Absolutely NTA on any level. He was right. He did what she did, but didn't lie. Wife was Ascon3 maybe 2. The house didn't look like what she wanted or expected so she thru him under the bus while running over herself first. With the wife lying about him not surviving at her standards.
Late comment here only recently found your channel so trying to blast through to catch up (great content btw) Story 6 OP definitely the A$scon. A couple years before my grandfather died my mom took my brother and I (11 and 8 at the time) to Florida so Grandparents could take us to Disney world. I remember them needing to rest a lot and I wanted to keep going, but I also remember how wonderful it was. Grandfather passed two years later. That was 50 years ago now so yes a lifetime of memories-thank you Mom and grandparents!
Story 3 is essentially the wife being made that he embarrassed her for not letting her embarrass him. I agree with your ruling on it with the addition that she would be upgraded to a 1 if she doesn't back down, but instead doubles down.
So the one thing I have an issue with story 6 was that the mom made a unilateral decision when it should have been a two-vote yes, one vote no situation, mean BOTH parents say yes or whatever the plan was doesn't happen, I would be so furious about that alone, this is a big thing and I understand that it may be the last memories but that is a trust line for me. I left a relationship where I wasn't ever allowed to give input on any situation, including my children, and it was just bad and toxic
On the happy-birthday-in-the-restaurant issue, i think we need context of what the restaurant is. She said he sang at the top of his lungs and it embarrassed her-that doesn’t mean she isn’t fit to be a mother.
Story 7: I once dated a single Dad and I loved them both so much, it was tricky and a challenging adjustment because you don't want to push boundaries or overstep but if you are dating a single parent their kid is part of it. you don't have to be their mom and you don't have to force anything, but you do have to respect that they are always going to come before you. their feelings, their needs, wants and happiness come before your comfort level. If you feel wierd about something like a dad celebrating his sons birthday you are wierd. the only reaction u got were a couple looks which is normal ppl are curious and a stranger offering to record a cute moment which you should have offered to do. totally a B hole
Based on OPs wording it was explained to him that the extra gifts were pity gifts because their mom is dead and not explained that he gets 2 sets of gifts and they only get 1 set of gifts hence why he was confused that they were still getting pity gifts after his mom adopted them
Oh em geez! I thought I was watching the one I missed like a week ago but I am watching one from a year ago? No wonder some of the stories seem familiar!!!
Story 4, my kids have a split household, tho they only live w/me full time, their half siblings do not. We try to work together our best to make gifts equal so no one feels slighted. I buy their half-siblings gifts as well since they are my family too, my kids siblings are as good as my own kids to me and I'll never not treat them that way. However, sometimes there is some jealousy, the half-siblings will feel my kids get more, because we also have a lot of friends and family, and their dad goes all out on holidays because he doesn't live with them and spoil them daily, where my kids feel jealous because their dad has a higher income than me so they can buy stuff not on holidays more often than I can. It's hard for kids/teens to understand the nuances and see that they may feel slighted in one way but in another they get more.
Last story: Some of us just dont have tte maternal/paternal instinct. It's easy to delude yourself into thinking you can handle it because maybe someone compliments you when you watch other kids for short periods of time. That's a far cry from 24/7 parenting. You may miss out on some relationships but its important to be aware of your limits. Nobody wants to be the asshole who ruins another person's childhood.
Personally with story 7, i got the feeling they may suffer from some sort of social anxiety, and that she got a bad spike from the event. I say ascon 3 or 2 as she blamed the other person rather than saying the situation spiked her anxiety
The last story. She probably feels embarrassed bc she’s never dealt with kids for long periods of time. If you have gone through the journey, parenthood makes embarrassment go out the window. You just want to do right by your child.
Grandma is protecting her access to the Grand Kids. I love how logic is optional in the face of a Grandma losing the rights to her kids' kids. Grandma: This all your fault. Aunt: What? Grandma: How dare you let your nieces escape the house in the middle of the night? Aunt (looks around for camera): um they weren't with me, brother came and picked them up. Grandma: Don't you try to shift the blame. You always try to shift the blame. You needed to follow your brother back to his house, set up a surveillance van, and make sure your nieces were safe. Aunt: ... Grandma: Grovel NOW. Aunt: Yeah, Daaaad, is Mom on any medication or has she been eating the weed brownies again? Grandpa: No its worse, she hasn't been able to pinch cheeks, feed candy from the bottom of her purse, or brag to her friends about her Grand Kids. She's going through withdrawal. This is worse then the summer of 21. Grandma: Don't you change the subject, Call Brother and apologize, I won't let Debbie win on Facebook. She's always posting pictures. The attention s***. Where's the dogs Santa's costume? I'm going to have to settle for a dog picture when I could be posting about my Grand Kids. This is all your fault. Couldn't even have the decency of giving me more Grand Kids. Aunt: Scotch? Grandpa: I'll go open a bottle.
I put myself through nursing school by waitressing in fine dining. It’s the only job harder than nursing lol! It gave me my organizational skills as well as triage skills! I also worked for a coked up maniac which prepared me for all sorts of stuff!
I think with the Disney trip the biggest issue I would have is that the wife made this decision without consulting OP. He's not saying he doesn't want them to spend time with their grandparents just that he wants to be there for his kids at Disney. I can sympathize because that's a huge dream of mine. To one day take my kids there, and if my wife went behind my back and gave that moment away to her parents I would feel upset and betrayed too. They could have talked it out before planning. The grand parents could take them somewhere else or they could have made it work so they could all go together. There are so many different options for the grandparents to spend the time and build memories without taking precious and special moments away from OP. I think the biggest a-hole is the wife. Not OP and of course not the grandparents. She is at an ASCON 2 in my book.
Hey Dusty, I have learned that you're a KC Chiefs fan, so I just wondered if you reside in Missouri. I ask because my daughter has lots of family there, as her gma was born & raised there. Also, I just wanted to say that I ❤ you & Candy Thunder's dynamic and it's apparent just how much y'all really love one another. It is GOALS (and I'm 43🤷🏽♀️😂). 🥰✌🏽
Why does the 16 year old have to be more mature than the parents? I don't even think at the core of the issue is the presents, it's that he had a problem in the family and no one listened. No one was on his side. He felt less then. 16 is old enough to form a permanent rift while not being able to express why. God to try an out stubborn a 16 year old sounds exhausting.
No apologies when the OP is NTA. You can talk about situations and about why no apologies were needed. Unless the person being TA, then an agreement apologizing can happen. But the first Ahole must understand what they did was wrong first.
You should see if you can reach out to branded bills about promoting their stuff. I bought my husband 3 things because I seen you wearing it and liked their stuff.
Story 7 - if she has social anxiety I think she's an asscon 2. She should have explained to her man that she isn't comfortable with public displays like that. She did explain that she'd never been in a situation like that before. So maybe in her family they don't do that, it could just be a cultural difference. She could have grown up being taught that loud disruptions like that are shameful and rude so she had a negative reaction to it. Asscon 2 Imo
Dusty is asking a lot of a 16 year old. If they were able to have adult conversations 100% of the time they would be considered adults and wouldn’t be living at home.
Story 5 so u can't watch frosty either the kids sneak to the North Pole.... Santa clause comes to town and kids help strange man into house by unlocking doors so what your kids let some one into your house ECT ect
Story 3: NTA. What would you say if it was reversed, and a husband said his wife was worthless without his help, guidance and swooping in to save the family? Absolutely justified for calling out her lie in front of company. Especially if the kids were around to hear her lie. Story 4: NTA. Half his life, he's been shown by his mom that he's not as good as his step siblings; certainly not as important as they are. So, OP has been penalized for having two living parents since his mom hooked up with that guy? Since OP was 8-9, he has received noticeably lesser gifts for every birthday and holiday, and less attention (and I assume love) with the explanation it's because his mom is still alive, while his step-sibling's is not? Because...better gifts & extra attention makes up for a dead mom? Or is it that giving him less attention and worse gifts makes the semi-orphaned kids feel better? Maybe it's just how step dad rationalizes treating his new wife's kid inequitably to his kids.
Something that I haven't seen brought up at all is that the same thing that caused OP 3's wife to get stuck in her home country (COVID) also meant that he was with the kids all. the. time. The older kid could have been in early elementary school as well, which would likely add some amount of virtual learning/homeschooling to OP's workload. That's a lot WITH your partner there, to say nothing of without, and OP's wife seemed to have completely blown that off. I don't have kids, and even I can see that the pandemic made childrearing that much harder.
My father passed 42 days before my daughter was born. His only goal was to make it to meet her. The Disney trip is just heartbreaking. Let em go. Let wife go as support. They will never get that time back. I’m guessing wife will always remember it if it doesn’t happen. Just sad. All of it. I’d give anything, we all would once we can’t. I’m sure OP would feel the same on the other side of it.
ESH for the 2nd to last story. He thought about himself and that 100% makes him an asshole, I’d say ascon 1 even for the reasons that he used and the selfishness of it all. ESH because they should have talked to him knowing it would have been their first Disney trip, wife knew and decided to keep shut until the big revelation. Also it’s a good point to think about the safety of 2 very small children at Disney being taken care of by 2 elderly people (1 of which is dying from cancer). There’s absolutely a safety issue there and it’s an incident waiting to happen. They absolutely should’ve consulted the father before potentially putting the children in a bad situation in safety terms so for that big ESH
For every non-american watching this: I have literally never heard au jus called " ass juice" Please do not let Dusty group us all in like that. Gross.
Story 3: i dont like when my fiance makes comments that make me look like i can't handle things. Last time we were at his parents house, he made a comment about howw i slleep on too late in regards to the toddlers schedule and i gott visibly upset and said in front of everyone "we get up no later than 8:05 am every day. You are at work 6 days put of the week so how would you even know?" And that shut him right up. I dont like when he triies to make itt seem like i do the bare minimum when he doesnt help and he isbt here 6 days of rhe week to even see what i strugglle with managing the house by myself withbaa toddler, messy teens, several animasl, and its just me and im burnt out most days soo i will not let him or anyone else make it seem like i dont do enough for my family
I feel like the op in the 7th story probably has social anxiety and that's why she acted the way she did. Didn't excuse it of course but I think it explains it.
Disney dad story.. i think the two of them should get some money together to let mom go with the kids and grandparents.. if theyre her parents let her go to enjoy it. Her one time to go to disneyland with her kids and BOTH parents.. book a cheap hotel room if she can and cut costs in any way.
I'm gonna be a little more charitable on that last story because I honestly wonder if her parents were very stuffy pretentious people who wouldn't ever embarrass themselves for her when she was growing up. If you had crappy parents, it's really easy to think that's the norm, and thus being shocked when you encounter good parents. I mean how much bad parenting do you hear justified by "Well that's how my parents raised me and I'm fine!" ? Now, that having been said, she's still the AH in this situation, but I'd honestly recommend some therapy instead of just dumping. She needs to figure out why the hell other peoples judgement matter so damn much to her. Especially when even in her story, there's no actual indication anyone else was judging them. The staff didn't intervene and go "Hey, don't do that", the other patrons didn't go "Shut up dude!", they offered to take pictures. Maybe I'm being too charitable, and like I said, she's still the AH, but I think she's still got a chance to be a good parent for some kid someday IF she wants to work through her crap.
You’re being too charitable. It’s a child’s birthday. If my bf behaved like this about my child’s BIRTHDAY, being worried about made up scenarios that aren’t actually happening, he’d be gone
I agree; I think she deserves your charity here. She's not the Mom. She's learning what stepparenting means, and everyone's expectation of her seems to be that she doesn't get to have a learning curve. That's just not realistic. Not every parent embarrasses themselves for their children. Not every parent handles every situation with grace. There's nothing in that story that says she doesn't want to be a parent, only that she wasn't expecting one night to go the way it did. . Having social anxiety sounds terrible, and if the boyfriend/SO knew she had it, then he could have prepared her. Was it an AH thing that she needs to improve on? Yes. Should she have handled her own anxiety better? Absolutely, yes. She deserves a 3. She also deserves to learn and do better.
I disagree with the blended family thing as a child from those situations. It sucks to have a sibling come home with all this stuff from there other parent. Like an iPhone in one case. We where given equel stuff by my mum but only I never got anything from my dad. It sucks so bad but here's the kicker, even back when I was ten years old I understood. I didn't get mad at my mum or my sister. At 16 he's a selfish spoiled brat and deserves to get nothing. The monitary value of a gift is not the point! He should be greatful to have a parent! So trashy. Trashy behavior that will create a trashy entitled adult.
I honestly agree, although I do have sympathy for the 16 year old because it sucks to be treated unfairly by a parent. It’s the perceived unfairness that the kid is reacting to, more so than the value of the gifts themselves. That said, 16 year olds may be emotionally immature and lack life experience, but they aren’t little children who are incapable of expressing themselves without throwing a tantrum. At 16 I would have been absolutely indignant if someone had suggested that this was a reasonable or excusable way for a person my age to act. I can understand why OP feels the way he does, and his feelings are completely valid, but I don’t think that excuses the shitty way he chose to handle the situation.
@@emilycrewe3794 16 year olds are absolutely capable of being understanding and sensible. There almost adults, not five year olds. The situation sucks, it really dose, there's no way to make it not suck, but at 16, they should know better.
For the 16yo, set a spending limit for each child to make it equil but op sounds materialistic and like a teen. Like u say they gat mum and dad gifts and the 14,12 yo only get one set. If they gave them more love and attention then yeah op can be mad, but over a gift? Nah not fair on the parents. They need to talk
The 16 year old... sigh. Entitlement is ugly. "They got better presents than me, so keep them aaalll" is 5 year old logic. Absolutely the jerk here, though I'm gonna say, so are the parents. It seems like some counseling to get to the real problem is in order.
I really feel for the 16 year old. I also don’t think he can be called materialistic seeing that if they weren’t going to gift them all equally he didn’t want to get any gifts at all. You have the right to say you don’t want presents too. It’s a pretty clear sight from the parents which kids they value more. I’m surprised he hasn’t moved to his dad, full time. If the mother doesn’t rethink, she’s going to lose him.
“Can you pass me de hypocrite” 😂😂😂😂😂
Restaurant story: Why didn't she just get two starters if the restaurant didn't have any entrees she wanted? I've done that before, you just ask for them to come out with the main meal.
I disagree about the husband who refused to go along w his wife's lie. He was totally allowed to say something to defend his reputation. I don't think he's an ahole for standing up for himself.
Agree 💯!
Exactly! If she wants to publicly embarrass him he can publicly defend himself. Chances are if he hadn’t nipped that in the bud right then and there he would’ve had to go in with people thinking he’s incompetent because she most likely wouldn’t have corrected it at a later date because then she’d look like a bigger a hole
I agree. If anything, she should have been singing his praises for stepping up and doing such a good job keeping everything together in her absence. He is NTA.
His wife needs to learn that you don’t make yourself look good by making someone else look bad.
@@poolwench4564 THISSS!!! 🎯💯
Nah the 16 year old was well in his rights to feel a way. The parents made a set in stone standard and treated him differently. You can't treat someone differently than the other children and expect them not to eventually break. Why are you expecting an adults response to this situation. That's a child. They reacted like a child. The adults are full Asses and the kid is not an ass at all
Exactly this!
Yeah, I think since Dusty has a blended family he's assuming they work like his where there is a genuine love for all the kids.
Sadly, not all blended families are that way.
It could very much be that it's not about "well he gets gifts from dad" and could absolutely be an intentional "This is our way of showing you're not important as the other kids".
Admittedly, teenagers aren't always reliable narrators, but I'd bet OP knows more about if this is some intentional thing or not.
I will never not be shocked that so many people actually defended the OP in the one where she refused to attend her husband's celebratory dinner because there weren't enough chicken and fish options on the menu. 🙄
I am on the floor from the "turkey of sin". So on point and so funny!!!
For story 4: As a teen who has a blended family with 2 siblings on each side(mom and dad), the kid has every right to feel like that.
With my siblings on my mother’s side, none of us share a father so we each have our split christmases but even still, my brother and sister received more(quantity and quality) gifts than I did and though I never brought it up it still hurt especially as I got older and I got even less gifts due to my age.
On my father’s side, my 2 sisters share a mother so they don’t get split christmases as their parents are still together. I no longer see my mother or siblings due to some bad circumstances so I also don’t receive split christmases but I’m not necessarily included in my sisters’ christmases and I celebrate with my father’s family therefore also receiving less gifts due to my age as well.
TLDR: The kid has every right to feel that way especially being given the same reason why every time and the fact that it also happens on his birthday too.
Story 2: Im a pretty pick eater and have alot of food sensory issues but If there was something on the menu that I some times eat! like I have eaten this before its not my first choice but its my only food here that I have eaten before like the steak that she "RARELY EATS" i will go because thats where everyone especially my man wants to go. she was just refusing to go to be difficult. she admitted to eating steak before it wasnt a big thing till she made it. I aggree def the bhole
1000% disagree with the idea the husband should have gone along with the wife’s “joke” about his not being able to handle the kids and house while she was gone. She started that lie. She is insecure. She should have slept her happy ass on the couch. OP needs to read the story of the man whose wife told her friend he never cooks. Though he’s a professional cook and makes special individual dinners for each of his family members. Including her ungrateful butt. He went on strike and refused to make her dinner. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
For story 6: Disney trip.. I feel like most petiole are mad at the wife for going along with it and not remembering that the grandparent that is dying is HER DAD. She probably can’t see past the part where she would get to experience these things, yes with her daughters and their grandpa, but with HER DAD. I don’t know that I would be able to to think of anything else besides moving heaven and earth to go on that trip with my dad before he does……
Absolutely NTA on any level. He was right. He did what she did, but didn't lie. Wife was Ascon3 maybe 2. The house didn't look like what she wanted or expected so she thru him under the bus while running over herself first. With the wife lying about him not surviving at her standards.
Late comment here only recently found your channel so trying to blast through to catch up (great content btw) Story 6 OP definitely the A$scon. A couple years before my grandfather died my mom took my brother and I (11 and 8 at the time) to Florida so Grandparents could take us to Disney world. I remember them needing to rest a lot and I wanted to keep going, but I also remember how wonderful it was. Grandfather passed two years later. That was 50 years ago now so yes a lifetime of memories-thank you Mom and grandparents!
Story 3 is essentially the wife being made that he embarrassed her for not letting her embarrass him. I agree with your ruling on it with the addition that she would be upgraded to a 1 if she doesn't back down, but instead doubles down.
So the one thing I have an issue with story 6 was that the mom made a unilateral decision when it should have been a two-vote yes, one vote no situation, mean BOTH parents say yes or whatever the plan was doesn't happen, I would be so furious about that alone, this is a big thing and I understand that it may be the last memories but that is a trust line for me. I left a relationship where I wasn't ever allowed to give input on any situation, including my children, and it was just bad and toxic
On the happy-birthday-in-the-restaurant issue, i think we need context of what the restaurant is. She said he sang at the top of his lungs and it embarrassed her-that doesn’t mean she isn’t fit to be a mother.
Story 7: I once dated a single Dad and I loved them both so much, it was tricky and a challenging adjustment because you don't want to push boundaries or overstep but if you are dating a single parent their kid is part of it. you don't have to be their mom and you don't have to force anything, but you do have to respect that they are always going to come before you. their feelings, their needs, wants and happiness come before your comfort level. If you feel wierd about something like a dad celebrating his sons birthday you are wierd. the only reaction u got were a couple looks which is normal ppl are curious and a stranger offering to record a cute moment which you should have offered to do. totally a B hole
The worst part for me was that she addressed the issue when she got in the car, like the kid at 5 have to watch this and feel a way pretty messed up
Based on OPs wording it was explained to him that the extra gifts were pity gifts because their mom is dead and not explained that he gets 2 sets of gifts and they only get 1 set of gifts hence why he was confused that they were still getting pity gifts after his mom adopted them
Birthday Story, Considering the way she treated Jon Snow, she Kind of is a Catelyn Stark lmao
Oh em geez! I thought I was watching the one I missed like a week ago but I am watching one from a year ago? No wonder some of the stories seem familiar!!!
You cost yourself a babysitter. 😂😂😂
Story 4, my kids have a split household, tho they only live w/me full time, their half siblings do not. We try to work together our best to make gifts equal so no one feels slighted. I buy their half-siblings gifts as well since they are my family too, my kids siblings are as good as my own kids to me and I'll never not treat them that way. However, sometimes there is some jealousy, the half-siblings will feel my kids get more, because we also have a lot of friends and family, and their dad goes all out on holidays because he doesn't live with them and spoil them daily, where my kids feel jealous because their dad has a higher income than me so they can buy stuff not on holidays more often than I can. It's hard for kids/teens to understand the nuances and see that they may feel slighted in one way but in another they get more.
I love dropping 🙌🏽facts in a live face to face conversation 🙌🏽♉️
Last story: Some of us just dont have tte maternal/paternal instinct. It's easy to delude yourself into thinking you can handle it because maybe someone compliments you when you watch other kids for short periods of time. That's a far cry from 24/7 parenting. You may miss out on some relationships but its important to be aware of your limits. Nobody wants to be the asshole who ruins another person's childhood.
Personally with story 7, i got the feeling they may suffer from some sort of social anxiety, and that she got a bad spike from the event. I say ascon 3 or 2 as she blamed the other person rather than saying the situation spiked her anxiety
Yea you got to learn to get the fck over yourself as an adult. I also have anxiety but cmon anxiety can not excuse dumb ass behavior like this
Love your telling of these stories
The last story. She probably feels embarrassed bc she’s never dealt with kids for long periods of time. If you have gone through the journey, parenthood makes embarrassment go out the window. You just want to do right by your child.
Grandma is protecting her access to the Grand Kids. I love how logic is optional in the face of a Grandma losing the rights to her kids' kids.
Grandma: This all your fault.
Aunt: What?
Grandma: How dare you let your nieces escape the house in the middle of the night?
Aunt (looks around for camera): um they weren't with me, brother came and picked them up.
Grandma: Don't you try to shift the blame. You always try to shift the blame. You needed to follow your brother back to his house, set up a surveillance van, and make sure your nieces were safe.
Aunt: ...
Grandma: Grovel NOW.
Aunt: Yeah, Daaaad, is Mom on any medication or has she been eating the weed brownies again?
Grandpa: No its worse, she hasn't been able to pinch cheeks, feed candy from the bottom of her purse, or brag to her friends about her Grand Kids. She's going through withdrawal. This is worse then the summer of 21.
Grandma: Don't you change the subject, Call Brother and apologize, I won't let Debbie win on Facebook. She's always posting pictures. The attention s***. Where's the dogs Santa's costume? I'm going to have to settle for a dog picture when I could be posting about my Grand Kids. This is all your fault. Couldn't even have the decency of giving me more Grand Kids.
Aunt: Scotch?
Grandpa: I'll go open a bottle.
I put myself through nursing school by waitressing in fine dining. It’s the only job harder than nursing lol! It gave me my organizational skills as well as triage skills! I also worked for a coked up maniac which prepared me for all sorts of stuff!
I think with the Disney trip the biggest issue I would have is that the wife made this decision without consulting OP. He's not saying he doesn't want them to spend time with their grandparents just that he wants to be there for his kids at Disney. I can sympathize because that's a huge dream of mine. To one day take my kids there, and if my wife went behind my back and gave that moment away to her parents I would feel upset and betrayed too. They could have talked it out before planning. The grand parents could take them somewhere else or they could have made it work so they could all go together. There are so many different options for the grandparents to spend the time and build memories without taking precious and special moments away from OP. I think the biggest a-hole is the wife. Not OP and of course not the grandparents. She is at an ASCON 2 in my book.
Hey Dusty, I have learned that you're a KC Chiefs fan, so I just wondered if you reside in Missouri. I ask because my daughter has lots of family there, as her gma was born & raised there. Also, I just wanted to say that I ❤ you & Candy Thunder's dynamic and it's apparent just how much y'all really love one another. It is GOALS (and I'm 43🤷🏽♀️😂). 🥰✌🏽
We're in Joplin, MO! Thank you for the love!
Story 6 - it also depends on how old the grandparents are. For all we know they could be in their 40s and not the 80s
Doesn't change the fact that the grandfather is literally dying from a disease and doesn't have much time left. What does it matter how old he is?
Why does the 16 year old have to be more mature than the parents? I don't even think at the core of the issue is the presents, it's that he had a problem in the family and no one listened. No one was on his side. He felt less then. 16 is old enough to form a permanent rift while not being able to express why. God to try an out stubborn a 16 year old sounds exhausting.
Dang it! Now I'm hungry too! MmMmMm....Prime Rib! 🤤
Same! My stomach started growling when he was talking about that!
@@LaunchPadMcQuack4Hire 🤣🤣🤣🤤
No apologies when the OP is NTA. You can talk about situations and about why no apologies were needed. Unless the person being TA, then an agreement apologizing can happen. But the first Ahole must understand what they did was wrong first.
You should see if you can reach out to branded bills about promoting their stuff. I bought my husband 3 things because I seen you wearing it and liked their stuff.
Darn good idea! I have approximately 87 hats from them, plus a couple flannels and hoodies. 😁
Story 7 - if she has social anxiety I think she's an asscon 2. She should have explained to her man that she isn't comfortable with public displays like that. She did explain that she'd never been in a situation like that before. So maybe in her family they don't do that, it could just be a cultural difference. She could have grown up being taught that loud disruptions like that are shameful and rude so she had a negative reaction to it. Asscon 2 Imo
Dusty is asking a lot of a 16 year old. If they were able to have adult conversations 100% of the time they would be considered adults and wouldn’t be living at home.
Story 5 so u can't watch frosty either the kids sneak to the North Pole.... Santa clause comes to town and kids help strange man into house by unlocking doors so what your kids let some one into your house ECT ect
Story 3: NTA. What would you say if it was reversed, and a husband said his wife was worthless without his help, guidance and swooping in to save the family? Absolutely justified for calling out her lie in front of company. Especially if the kids were around to hear her lie.
Story 4: NTA. Half his life, he's been shown by his mom that he's not as good as his step siblings; certainly not as important as they are. So, OP has been penalized for having two living parents since his mom hooked up with that guy? Since OP was 8-9, he has received noticeably lesser gifts for every birthday and holiday, and less attention (and I assume love) with the explanation it's because his mom is still alive, while his step-sibling's is not? Because...better gifts & extra attention makes up for a dead mom? Or is it that giving him less attention and worse gifts makes the semi-orphaned kids feel better? Maybe it's just how step dad rationalizes treating his new wife's kid inequitably to his kids.
Something that I haven't seen brought up at all is that the same thing that caused OP 3's wife to get stuck in her home country (COVID) also meant that he was with the kids all. the. time. The older kid could have been in early elementary school as well, which would likely add some amount of virtual learning/homeschooling to OP's workload. That's a lot WITH your partner there, to say nothing of without, and OP's wife seemed to have completely blown that off. I don't have kids, and even I can see that the pandemic made childrearing that much harder.
My father passed 42 days before my daughter was born. His only goal was to make it to meet her. The Disney trip is just heartbreaking. Let em go. Let wife go as support. They will never get that time back. I’m guessing wife will always remember it if it doesn’t happen. Just sad. All of it. I’d give anything, we all would once we can’t. I’m sure OP would feel the same on the other side of it.
I have to concur with Jot Coffee. Too bad I already subscribed to them before you got your affiliate code. But it is fricken tasty!
You mean "is" tasty, right? Love Jot!
@@dustythunder Yes thank you for spotting my error. I'd like to blame it on autocorrect but nope it was all me and my fat finger. ☺️
ESH for the 2nd to last story. He thought about himself and that 100% makes him an asshole, I’d say ascon 1 even for the reasons that he used and the selfishness of it all. ESH because they should have talked to him knowing it would have been their first Disney trip, wife knew and decided to keep shut until the big revelation. Also it’s a good point to think about the safety of 2 very small children at Disney being taken care of by 2 elderly people (1 of which is dying from cancer). There’s absolutely a safety issue there and it’s an incident waiting to happen. They absolutely should’ve consulted the father before potentially putting the children in a bad situation in safety terms so for that big ESH
For every non-american watching this: I have literally never heard au jus called " ass juice" Please do not let Dusty group us all in like that. Gross.
Story 3: i dont like when my fiance makes comments that make me look like i can't handle things. Last time we were at his parents house, he made a comment about howw i slleep on too late in regards to the toddlers schedule and i gott visibly upset and said in front of everyone "we get up no later than 8:05 am every day. You are at work 6 days put of the week so how would you even know?" And that shut him right up. I dont like when he triies to make itt seem like i do the bare minimum when he doesnt help and he isbt here 6 days of rhe week to even see what i strugglle with managing the house by myself withbaa toddler, messy teens, several animasl, and its just me and im burnt out most days soo i will not let him or anyone else make it seem like i dont do enough for my family
No the ones that are the biggest Hypocrites are the ones with the most skeletons in there closet !!!
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I feel like the op in the 7th story probably has social anxiety and that's why she acted the way she did. Didn't excuse it of course but I think it explains it.
Disney dad story.. i think the two of them should get some money together to let mom go with the kids and grandparents.. if theyre her parents let her go to enjoy it. Her one time to go to disneyland with her kids and BOTH parents.. book a cheap hotel room if she can and cut costs in any way.
I'm gonna be a little more charitable on that last story because I honestly wonder if her parents were very stuffy pretentious people who wouldn't ever embarrass themselves for her when she was growing up.
If you had crappy parents, it's really easy to think that's the norm, and thus being shocked when you encounter good parents.
I mean how much bad parenting do you hear justified by "Well that's how my parents raised me and I'm fine!" ?
Now, that having been said, she's still the AH in this situation, but I'd honestly recommend some therapy instead of just dumping.
She needs to figure out why the hell other peoples judgement matter so damn much to her.
Especially when even in her story, there's no actual indication anyone else was judging them.
The staff didn't intervene and go "Hey, don't do that", the other patrons didn't go "Shut up dude!", they offered to take pictures.
Maybe I'm being too charitable, and like I said, she's still the AH, but I think she's still got a chance to be a good parent for some kid someday IF she wants to work through her crap.
You’re being too charitable. It’s a child’s birthday. If my bf behaved like this about my child’s BIRTHDAY, being worried about made up scenarios that aren’t actually happening, he’d be gone
I agree; I think she deserves your charity here. She's not the Mom. She's learning what stepparenting means, and everyone's expectation of her seems to be that she doesn't get to have a learning curve. That's just not realistic. Not every parent embarrasses themselves for their children. Not every parent handles every situation with grace. There's nothing in that story that says she doesn't want to be a parent, only that she wasn't expecting one night to go the way it did. . Having social anxiety sounds terrible, and if the boyfriend/SO knew she had it, then he could have prepared her. Was it an AH thing that she needs to improve on? Yes. Should she have handled her own anxiety better? Absolutely, yes. She deserves a 3. She also deserves to learn and do better.
I disagree with the blended family thing as a child from those situations. It sucks to have a sibling come home with all this stuff from there other parent. Like an iPhone in one case. We where given equel stuff by my mum but only I never got anything from my dad. It sucks so bad but here's the kicker, even back when I was ten years old I understood. I didn't get mad at my mum or my sister. At 16 he's a selfish spoiled brat and deserves to get nothing. The monitary value of a gift is not the point! He should be greatful to have a parent!
So trashy. Trashy behavior that will create a trashy entitled adult.
I honestly agree, although I do have sympathy for the 16 year old because it sucks to be treated unfairly by a parent. It’s the perceived unfairness that the kid is reacting to, more so than the value of the gifts themselves.
That said, 16 year olds may be emotionally immature and lack life experience, but they aren’t little children who are incapable of expressing themselves without throwing a tantrum. At 16 I would have been absolutely indignant if someone had suggested that this was a reasonable or excusable way for a person my age to act. I can understand why OP feels the way he does, and his feelings are completely valid, but I don’t think that excuses the shitty way he chose to handle the situation.
@@emilycrewe3794 16 year olds are absolutely capable of being understanding and sensible. There almost adults, not five year olds.
The situation sucks, it really dose, there's no way to make it not suck, but at 16, they should know better.
The waffle house has found it’s new host
For the 16yo, set a spending limit for each child to make it equil but op sounds materialistic and like a teen. Like u say they gat mum and dad gifts and the 14,12 yo only get one set. If they gave them more love and attention then yeah op can be mad, but over a gift? Nah not fair on the parents. They need to talk
The 16 year old... sigh. Entitlement is ugly. "They got better presents than me, so keep them aaalll" is 5 year old logic. Absolutely the jerk here, though I'm gonna say, so are the parents. It seems like some counseling to get to the real problem is in order.
His wife should have praised her husband instead of putting him down