This is another really important topic that we want to raise awareness for the upcoming weeks. For those who support what psych2go do, could you share this video with someone who may benefit from this? If you did, let us know so we can thank you!
summary: 1. annoying physical symptoms 2. your body and your mind feel disconnected 3. your brain functions differently 4. major trust issues even with people you love and care about 5. you might pick fights or engage in risky activities 6. a constant feeling of shame 7. you react physically to emotional triggers
Relationships require trust and vulnerability. So no there is no way to avoid hurt in the future. However learning to love yourself and heal yourself so you are strong when walking into another relationship in the future means you will have the strength to walk away if you need to. Accepting what truly is and is not your in yoir control t is important , as well as knowing green amd red signs of relationship behaviors. All these cant protect you from hurt but can prepare you to handle the good and the bad and walk away from toxic relationships.
My experience is extreme self doubt, self blame, guilt, shame, over analyzing and hyper vigilance! Lack of trust and reading the worst case scenario into others mistakes! Almost like paranoia! You can never know when is the next time someone seems sweet will suddenly change their mind and hurt you covertly and overtly for their enjoyment! 😭
@Versatile Wolf My traumatic relationship ended in the early 1990's (yes I'm old) and I still feel it. The pain does feel less and less over time. I am in a relationship with the best woman in the world - 21 years now. We have been married for 17 and we have three beautiful kids. I guess I can relate it to the traumatic memories fading, and I've replaced them with new wonderful memories. You will get better. I met my wife in 2000, so it took about five or six years before I was able to date again. Good luck, you got this!
Because that is literally just how love is. Women are hardly taught how to respect/love men and it shows so much. Ive given up years ago. Now im targeted by narcassitic women. I cant even live my own fucking life without the harrassment of these women who love getting guys to swoon over them. Like...leave me alone.
@@brianmoody4330 well its morality, and that unfortunately is subjective. Basic morality like things taught by large like by things of a social acceptance and communative desire to go to things like church, where all morals are teathered and understood. Not that I'm one for church but.. it had its purpose as a mass manipulation tool as...well.. humans are capable of terrible things.
After breaking up with someone I loved for years, we have been in toxic relationship and finally we have decided slowly to be apart. Since then, I don't know how to manage my emotions. I felt sad at times but I never cried or told anybody else. I always keep going back to the innocent times where everything was great. I keep on thinking what I should have done if I did everything right and continued on. I also keep on doubting myself and have trouble establishing new friendships
You have to grieve and forgive yourself. Getting there is hard and ongoing. But slowly as you do it helps. Support sites with others going through the same help a lot!! Forgiving yourself leads to learning to trust yourself. That is the one thing they did not hit on. After any physical or emotional trauma you fear the world , you mistrust yourself to see the signs of danger to keep yourself safe. It is those danger warnings that keep you stuck in fear response and physical stress teaars you up. You must find safety!! And eventually trust you can keep yourself safe. All this takes a really long time to establish and yet people think you should just get over it. But your body will not get over it until enough time for healing and proof is built up to feel safe. So the deeper the trauma the longer it takes, the bigger the support system the quicker you heal.
The signs: 1. Annoying physical symptoms 0:59 2. Your body and mind feel disconnected 1:42 3. Your brain works differently 2:19 4. Major trust issues even with people you know and love 3:00 5. you might pick fights or engage in risky business 3:32 6. A constant sense of shame 4:17 7. You react physically to emotional triggers 5:02 i hope this helps!! im already used to haters on my comments, but haters gonna hate 👁️👄👁️ honestly im a single pringle Who else is a single pringle here?
I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD and depression. The only relationship i was in previously was incredibly mentally abusive and toxic. It took me a long time to pick myself back up after it ended. I am now in an incredible healthy relationship with my best friend of two years. I have moments where i get triggered but my partner is so easy to communicate to. I’ve noticed my ability to open up more and more to him and i owe that to him being patient and kind to me. Just know your past doesnt define you and that you can find someone who will love you with all of your triggers and past struggles. ❤️ ive never been so sure about a person and hope to build a future with him
Girl you beautifull! You deserve to have an awesome relationship! I drowned my sorrows in drugs and now that I willed myself off off them (without rehab but with third party help) And now after 2 years of suppressed emotions im finaly sober and free but I dont even know how or where to begin I didnt just lose my girlfriend I lost all my friends from the past five years I had so much potential and friendships where everywhere I got stabbed in the back more times than I can count Major trust issues now don't even know where to begin I got a good boy doggie tho and he is a light of my life
@@brookenicole6937 Very happy for you ^^ and thank you! It's been a wild ride ^^ but if there are more people in the world like you I think I'm pretty safe ^^ give my regards to the love of your life and tell him he's very lucky ;) if you ever wanna talk hmu ^^ you seem like a very interesting person you built yourself back up I could use advice from someone building themselves up again ^^
@@blessedsoul949 we have a newborn together now and are engaged! I never thought i could find someone so amazing. Wishing and believing the same for you :)
Honestly, to those who haven't had a relationship? Don't rush it and sometimes, the heartbreak and pain is unbearable. Especially when your love isn't returned either, even despite wanting to sort out any issues in the partnership. Some just aren't capable of forgiveness. Anyway, don't search for it. Let it come to you.
Also include: Don’t settle for anything!! Get to know them and to really know them? Piss them off. I was once told there is only three type of people who tells the truth. A drunk a child and an angry person.
Easy for you to say. I dont stay in relationships with men for more than 6 months. My jobs dont last more than 3 years. I have avoidant personality disorder!! My brain needs to move on the brighter and better things. My ex-boyfriend told me I need to be in group therapy, ever since Covid19 I can't afford any therapy, but watching these short videos help.
My current girlfriend had a lot of bad experiences with previous ex-boyfriends, where they built up feelings of attachment in her and then ripped it away from her. Her last ex, in fact, managed to make her feel like she was in love with him, but then he never treated her like he felt the same. Almost never calling her (even when she needed him to), hardly returning the sentiment when it came to gifts of expressions of love, and even breaking up with her before they were supposed to be going on a big trip that she had been super excited for. Even now, my girlfriend always feels like she needs to apologize for every little thing she does, and she always talks about how she feels like I'm going to "abandon her" or "grow tired of her". There are more personal aspects that I've noticed relate to this video's information, but I've already shared enough of her story. I just really wish there was some way I could help her, but... as was stated in the video, she doesn't fully trust me even if we've known each other for so long. She does still try to talk to me sometimes, though, and I help comfort her through her episodes of sadness. It just pains me to see how her previous boyfriends hurt her this badly...
I'm going through the same. If ny partner would have read this, he must have related everything. I has relationships in the past and I developed many attachment issues. Even if my partner loves me, cares for me or supports me, I'm again afraid of attachment, dependency.
To the one reading this. If someone abused your feelings, don't be one of them. Don't abuse yourself. Let it process. Feel the pain. Endure it. Then move forward. ❤️
my previous relationship has messed me up so badly that I experience all these symptoms. any smell that reminds me of the memories with him, song we used to listen to together, place and thing I remember him touching like a chair in my house just makes me stop in my tracks and remember everything so vividly and feel shame for not seeing the red flags sooner. he manipulated me with my emotional and financial situation, made me believe that he actually cared abt me so he could get what he wanted and when he did, he threw me away. two days after he told me he loved me for the last time, he told me he’d rather be single and be ‘free’. I still wonder if he actually felt something and got scared so he withdrew himself because how can someone fake everything he did? it’s unbelievable. thanks to this video, I’m able to get my thoughts sorted out better; so thank you for always posting such educational videos
Oh god the smell is what kills me I have a perfume i used a lot with him, i got the same one again without thinking much about it. Now everytime i use it i just cant keep myself calm
I had a hard time accepting him for who he actually was, as apposed to the ideals he represented to me. Now I need to accept who I actually am as opposed to the idea I have of myself. And grieve every trauma I've experienced in the past decade
I have unhealed relationship trauma and I honestly feel overwhelmed with mentally digging it out and resolving it without paying for therapy. It’s felt easier to suppress it for the past year but now I’ve realised it starts to burst when I get mentally/situationally triggered…such as slamming the door, backchatting with my own thoughts/memory, feeling super angry one moment then calm the next… I really need to heal from this..
I have an ex that whenever i saw them I freak out. I used to get panic attacks, to the point of my hands shaking for a bit after, and my flight instinct would kick in. I wasn't able to leave during those times because the ex would come into my work at random times(not purposely). Sometimes with their new partner which caused more anxiety. I dont know why it's so bad if it was almost YEARS ago and while not healthy it wasnt traditionally abusive, just toxic.
I went through the same thing years ago. An ex knew where I worked and would parade around on the arm of her new guy and walk passed me triggering panic attacks that affected my work ethic for a few hours if not the whole day.
I dont know If I should be too concerned.. but same.. not with an ex, since I've never been in a relationship, but with my best friend. We have been avoiding each other for at least 3 years, we just stopped talking and never resolved anything. Whenever I see her, I start panicking and my heart creams *DANGER* ;_; Like If a tiger was chasing me or sth
I was in a toxic relationship for 7 years - we even got married for a year. We divorced in 2016, out of the blue - it was heartbreaking, but I definitely went through all of these. 4 years later, after being with an amazing man for 3.5 years, I am still dealing with some of these symptoms. But he is patient, and I am still healing. Thank you, Psych2Go. Your videos are always helpful. 💖
Me too - mine was 14 years and however within those years I gained 2 beautiful kiddo angel bears in my life ... they are my strength, after learning self care, self efficiency, and loving myself - out came of no where my bf of 6 months now, he amazingly patience and I feel guilty but as he put it ‘I’m worth it, and we can flow however it make me comfortable’ I’m so happy now, flowing , fear decreasing little at a time ... we got this, we’re in charge of our own future .. good luck to us :)
I feel that my ex put all his previous relationship traumas on me, which triggered my own. I ended up becoming really angry at him all the time, because it felt like he automatically turned me into his past abusers or something. And my anger/hurt only confirmed what he feared the most. Now we're broken up, and I hope he comes back after we both have space to heal. I hope we can overcome the past and our traumas :(
@@supremepancakes4388 haha I'm soooo happy it's over and he's out of my life. being with him aged me and wore me down. I'm so so so much better off and happier and healthier than EVER. he made me hit rock bottom, and I'll never be there again.
I was in school a while ago and I had some pretty good friends. I considered myself extroverted, and never really had any problems with anybody. My best friend, I'll call her Samantha, was who I spent all my time with. She was funny, cute, shared a lot of interests with me, and she was someone who I just really liked hanging out with. I'd crack jokes all the time, and I'd sometimes give her hugs. I really thought she liked talking to me as well. I was at home one day, after just getting back from an after-school activity. I looked at my phone, and saw that she had texted me. I got excited, because I liked talking to her. But it was not what I expected. Samantha had spent a lot of time typing out a message that took me around 4 minutes to read, but it basically said this: "Listen, I really don't like a lot of the things you do. They make me uncomfortable. I thought you'd understand that, but you seemed to ignore it when me and Hannah (other friend) gave you signals. I feel uncomfortable when you give me hugs, and when you make jokes about (topic). I don't hate you, but you might hate me after this." As I read it, I fell apart. I started crying because I had inflicted pain on someone.... I felt awful. I never realized what I had done was bad... but when I looked back on it, it made sense. I wrote a long apology back, sort of like this: "Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry. I never realized that you were uncomfortable. I should've known that I had crossed the boundary, I should've seen the line. But... I just feel really awful. I hope I can fix this. I can stop giving hugs and I'll not make any jokes. I just really enjoy being around you, and I should've just kept it at that. What can I do to fix this?" I got no response. I thought she had blocked me, or that she didn't want to talk to me. Either way, I assumed I was not wanted. I cried in bed, and I just felt like I was the most stupid person to ever exist. How had I not noticed? I really wished that she would've said something, anything about this before going ballistic on me. I would've fixed it if I had known. But now it was over. I just felt like I was a huge jerk. I banged my head on the wall and cut my hand with a knife as punishment. How could I have been such an a***ole? The next day I avoided her at all costs. She didn't try to talk to me or anything, but I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. That meant that I would be completely out of her sight. I would stand in the opposite corner of the room, and I would take the other stairs that were further away. After a while, I began to doubt myself. What if all of my other friends felt this way too? Samantha had mentioned Hannah, so I avoided them both. But then I began to evaluate all of my relationships. I couldn't risk hurting anyone again. I avoided everybody, and stopped speaking with anyone. I wouldn't look at anyone, I wouldn't walk with anyone, I wouldn't sit with anyone. I had made the switch from extrovert to introvert. I dug myself into a hole and closed it. In time, I kind of recovered. I made some new friends, and I actually started to talk to people again. Now I'm doubting if I'm an introvert or extrovert. But I still feel like I'm walking between rat traps, even if my friends like me a lot. I can't really tell. I have to stay out of the boundaries, at any cost. I'll only do something if they do it first. I'll only give people hugs if they give me a hug, so I know it's okay with them. I'll only talk to people if they talk to me. I have to respect others' wishes. But when someone doesn't talk to me for a while, I begin to think that they are mad at me. I can't just ask, "Are you mad at me?" because then I'll looked like an attention-starved, self centered a***ole. So then I just wait. Until they talk to me again. Which sometimes they don't. So then I think they didn't like me, or that I made them uncomfortable. Sometimes I just like to keep to my own devices. If I don't talk to anyone, I can't make anyone uncomfortable. It's not that I don't like talking to people, it's just that I think I'd wreck something if I did. I'm just left to wonder if anybody really even wants to talk with me, if anyone likes me, if anyone thinks I'm worth more than a pebble. Anyways, if you read this, I'm sorry you had to read all that. But thanks. UPDATE: This was two years ago. It is… certainly something to read this again. Since the events described, I have found a much better group of friends who I can be totally open and honest with, and we all support each other. They’ve told me their accounts of this story, and from what they’ve said, Samantha was extremely manipulative. Not only to me, but to most everyone else close to her, too. Her best friend of 9 years cut off all contact with her, and has been my main source of information about Samantha. She told me that Samantha took pleasure in exercising her control over others, and manipulating their emotions. I was a victim of this. Though it was particularly traumatic to middle school me, I am really much much better and happier now. Not that I didn’t leave the experience without a few mental imprints, though. I had some pretty significant anxiety about being friends with people for a while, and that was really the worst consequence of Samantha. But even that is gone, for the most part. Long story short, the collection of paragraphs above is full of my clouded and confused thoughts from my pubescent years. Not to say that the emotions weren’t real, because they were, but that I have much more to say in my defense than what is present there. Anywho, thank you *again* for reading this (now exceedingly) long paragraph. Have a wonderful day, and always know that it can get better.
I talk to strangers and act friendly to a point, they might be going thru hardship too so its nice to send out good vibes. I understand. Relationships have to go both ways. Good luck, try to have fun ànd be kind to yourself xo
Samanthas a hoe, and you have a heart of gold. Im sorry you have suffered through this internal dialogue so long. The only advice I could give is to try to be vulnerable and maybe use humor to communicate this to people you love. I'm sure theyd make sure you got words of validation when needed.
Omg same, i had a friend but she didnt support me and sometimes even physically and mentally hurt me. These symptoms are so relatable! I hope you're alright tho ❤️❤️
goodluck. im still in trauma from a 8years toxic relationship.. still like ptsd.. stil hurting.. still mind on the cloud.. even im in a new relationship..
Another sad thing, is that relationship trauma doesn't have to be from an extreme circumstance, but we never talk about the smaller things. I was in a toxic relationship where our relationship was treated like a game. He rarely acknowledged it, until he wanted some personal attention. It almost felt like the relationship itself was a gaslight if that makes any sense. I could never pinpoint if anything was real and it was extremely taxing on me. When we had alone time it was as if we were in a relationship but nobody else could know, and I was always there for him but always doubted he'd be there for me. Our relationship was a tightrope and it caused a lot of emotional damage for me (doesn't help that it was my first ever relationship). It's been a few years since I spoke to him last, and I've been gaining some sense of self, but I have yet to be in a relationship since.
Almost been 2 years and I still think about her about a dozen times a week. What’s so painful is that I KNOW that it wasn’t a good match, and just felt like someone there for me to rely on for happiness. I know I deserve someone more invested in me as a person, but I still am clinging to all the memories. Smh. Good luck everyone.
I know how you feel. I feel the same. It's only been almost 3 months and I need alot longer to process what he actually did to me. I sit in my living room and freak out at The thought of him driving upto the house or driving by. I am also looking to move house for a fresh start. I'm hoping I feel better some where different. All the best to you Patrick. And good luck.
It’s been two years for me too and I even felt sick today because of it which is so dumb. He wasn’t as bad as some but there was enough emotional things that happened that still affect me. Time is gonna be what fixes it along with effort and it has already been working. Just frustrating.
You just described me to a tee. I met my now fiance a year after a 3 year relationship and i though i was fully healed until he said i take my frustration on him and other things i was too blind to see. I heard pain and anger in his voice. Was an eye opener ❤
that's crazy this video came at the right time. I finally got closure today, after a year and a half of dealing with stress and trauma from my last relationship.
i needed to see this! i am in the early stages of a relationship now, with the most amazing person i’ve ever known. the problem? i have relationship anxiety, trust issues, and doubts all because of past relationship trauma. even though the person treats me better than anyone and is very honest, i still have my guards up because i’m so afraid of being hurt again. i’m going to see a therapist so i can get out of my head. my anxiety is so bad that i make myself upset over scenarios i think of, even though nothing has actually happened. i want to get better so i can enjoy this relationship.
It hit me on how I understand every symptom of these. My last relationship was incredibly abusive. I suffer with extreme attachment issues due to my relationship with my family as a kid. I’ve leaned that I’m like this and I’m going to seek help and heal I will find a way to beat this and to anyone else suffering with the same sortof things you’re valid and I hope you heal you can get through this. I believe in you💙
Than you. Everything you said was how I felt as a child growing up. My mom was very toxic and I was always under stress. I had all the symptoms. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus, would get upset easy, always felt stomach pain no matter what I ate of if I ate or didn't eat, and I couldn't trust anyone. I'm almost 50 now and still haven't healed from all that trauma. I have worked on healing through out my life and continue to peel away these layers.
It ended with him giving lists of everything wrong with me. Twice. I can’t visit my family in fear of being in that town again. The physical abuse is nothing compared to what he said. He was the most important person for 11 years. He was a cheater I found out after.
You don't even have to be separated from the person that caused this trauma. I've been in a relationship with the same woman for over 20 years, about 7 years ago she got cancer, and the whole dynamic of our relationship changed, as well as her personality. I knew to start 2013 we were going to be divorced before the year was out, by the end of the year I was scared she wouldn't live another few months. After her eventual, slow recovery, she was like a different person. We've been happily married for the last 5-6 years and I'm more invested than ever. But before? She was emotionally abusive in several different ways. I'm always surprised when I bring up the past at how well she responds to the things I have to talk about. It makes getting over my issues a lot easier. It's like being married to two different women.
I understood some of these, then related to a lot of it, especially when it brought back thoughts, I started feeling nauseous and wanted to turn off the video. This helped me understand more of what I go through, even if it made me react. I want to understand to help stop the panic attacks. Thank you Psych2go. It’s hard but I’m healing.
I have past relationships trauma but not from an ex. From a best friend. He was the most important person in my life and I loved him so dearly.. but one day he just... left. It crushed me and all my friends thought I should have gotten over him after a few months but the pain didn't go away. It lingered for years afterwards. I had physical problems like going to sleep because I thought something bad happened every time I slept so I kept myself up for days. I mourned my friend as though he had died and I used to have panic attacks... I still have triggers when it comes to stuff like that but six years later I'm doing much better. I'm healing myself and my boyfriend of three years has been a tremendous help. Trauma sucks and I wish more people understood that there's physical, mental and emotional trauma and they're all equally as difficult to live with. I hope everyone finds peace within themselves who've gone through similar trauma
I can't thank you enough for this--it explains so much of how I've been feeling. Six years of roller coaster & I'd never had anything like that in my life before & I'm suffering the repercussions. This video at least gives me perspective re WHY I've been feeling the way I have--THANK YOU!!!
My toxic Narcissistic ex just got married to an older guy after giving me trauma for five years (insults, name calling tantrum, physical hits, nail baiting etc.). She left me broken, depressed, over weight, panic attack, stress eating, stress on small things. She always put fear on leaving me, putting me blame and fight on small things and always bring old argument to show me how badly I treated her where I am the only one who say Sorry. She is never wrong, entitled and angry on my smile, my daily task, my hanging out with friends, my going to gym. I know now I am free, now I can get back to life but I am still trauma bonded.
I really appreciate videos from Psych2Go teaching us about signs of negative things. Could you guys make more videos on solutions to some problems. Like, 8 ways to get through an anxious-avoidant attachment style? 8 ways to heal from a traumatic relationship? I would really love seeing these. Thanks !
@@Psych2go yes please things to help you heal yourself and ones to help relationships. One to set personal boundries with out feeling guilty would've great.
This is so accurate, I broke up with my verbally abusive/manipulative ex almost 1.5 years ago but the pain still lingers. I think she’s a terrible person but still miss her. I find it impossible to trust since she lied non stop. I used to be very gregarious, now I like to be alone 90% of the time. I have done a lot of work to try and get over her, and there Is progress but it’s painfully slow. If anyone else is in this same predicament good luck to you and stay strong, keep trying
This is probably off topic, but, these videos from this channel have helped me to tell my parents about my feelings and I told them how I feel and I think I may have depression and other mental illnesses, and they’re looking into a therapist person to officially see if I have depression and other mental illnesses or not, these videos have really helped me :)
I love watching these and sharing these because it shows the different sides of a short term trauma that can be a part of or cause of a lasting PTS/PTSD. And they also show the forms of anxiety that comes with trauma or pts. For some of us dealing with multiple traumas, understanding these simple things helps dealing with. But also, there are ways out and we can take our time and even if you just made it out the door. You made it one step. So I know you can go further
It can happen at work too, if you have a boss who gets very angry very quickly, then yells at you in front of patients, belittles you, throws things, and then your manager is somewhat the same way. I worked in a dental office that was very toxic and abusive to where i was in a constant state of flight or fight & stress. So finally after 5 yrs, I had to quit. And yes, I stayed too long due to being a single parent that had the type of hours I needed. And that was long ago. I do have ptsd and I get help regularly from a therapist. I still have nightmares too. Thank you for posting and knowing we're not alone. 🙏Many blessings
I learned about sexual violence for university and as students, we have to complete these trainings once every fall semester. They classified 4 types of relationships: healthy, pressuring, coercing, and forceful. I realized that for the longest time my current relationship fell under the "pressuring" category, but with enough time we made it healthy again. Whenever I feel doubts or anxious about something, now I speak up about it.. the traumatic part was me breaking down and having panic attacks every time we would go through a painfully serious conversation in text (and often times we would misunderstand one another's intentions.) Sometimes people mistaken a closed off or emotionally unavailable person for one who's lying to them or using them. That might not be the case, it always helps to open up and talk.
Wow. Right on the mark. I felt pretty alone for a long time about the way I felt after a traumatic experience. I felt like this video is exactly what I needed to see today
This is also true for toxic parental relationships as well. I am still trying to recover from early life trauma and toxic abuse that continued until my mother died.
Every single word which you described is a reflection gone through by all means. You are that mirror who shows the reflection of what we really have gone through and guide us easily that how people twist their situation.💯 I am amazed that you could really read people's mindset and their situation. Thank you for being my best Guided Channel. Ever♥🙏
Huh, this describes almost everything I've been going through. I've had lately memory issues, brain fog, anxiety, stress, it's been harder to concentrain, and I'm constantly waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Every received phone call, message or e mail I'm almost terrified of, fearing there's more bad news coming. These few songs got me crying cause of the memories attached to them. It's always been hard for me to trust others due to traumas I've experiensed in my past, but in this case I did trust him anyway and got lied to and hurt, which makes it even worse.
Thanks a lot for making this video. Every signs this video has said, I had experienced them way too much and even after i thought i was all good. It's now nearly two years and i have nothing to care about my ex anymore, i have gotten into a new relationship and it was unbelievable to know how should i and how can i be treated so properly, recently i commented on a few videos because im going through these all over again and i was so scared that i might be toxic to these people that i love. But after i asked for a time and confess my feelings, my partner listen, like he did when we first got together, and both of us know myself deeper. I just feel so relieved that this time, im having someone by my side and my family did not neglect me. I'm not letting myself drowning again and i worked and still working hard on it. I'm so gonna strive to heal, to let these amazing people know, how much i love them.
Idk how to heal from this .. I've been suffering since 2 years self harming myself , crying all day, trying to sleep and most of the time I get irritated so easily for stupid things and end up being alone or left alone , feeling like a garbage not worthy person 🥺💔 lost everything hate everything I loved , no hope. I used to workout and score good grades now I'm like useless I can't do any of these things I just stay up in a dark room the whole day yet I always feel tired I just feel like ending my life... To someone who feel like this just wait it takes time "It's ok not to be ok" no matter who leaves u , you've to make ur way... I hope and wish u guys to overcome that one day 🙏🏻
This describes me to a T. The shame. The pains. The judgmental friends who criticize me for not being able to snap out of it. Etc. Thanks for making me see my response isn't weird, self indulgent, a pity party. A choice to feel miserable when I could just decide to be happy. Thanks for this.
A few months ago i left my first relationship. It lasted four years and I'm pretty sure i was groomed into doing things i didn't want to do, as i was only 14 when it started and they were 17,and i was rushed into a lot of things too quick. For four years i thought the world of this person and ignored everything they did that made me uncomfortable. At the end of it all, they pushed me and a friend into a poly relationship with them (neither the friend or i felt fully secure about that). Time skip to now and i learn from said friend, whom is now broken up with the ex, that during those four years they cheated on me frequently. Since my experiences with this person I've developed insecurity in my current relationship, ranging from anxiety about not being enough to having a full-blown panic attack meltdown at the end of our first date. Fortunately my partner knows all of this and is incredibly kind and understanding, helping me navigate this newfound trauma as i continue to process it. Please, if your partner ever makes you uncomfortable, talk to them about it. Be assertive. Be honest with yourself. Tell them how you feel.
This is so absolutely true cuz I have experienced it. The amount of guilt I had prevented me from moving forward. Once I was taught to put the blame where it should be, I started to reason logically and slowly felt better. I was lucky to go to a year long Trauma group therapy and learn about what my body was doing with panic and anxiety attacks, fight flight or freeze not calming down naturally, and terrible night terrors. "The body remembers what the mind forgets" because brain goes into protection mode and can't handle the stress and needs to literally detox. Loved ones around me didn't understand what I was going through until recently. I'm able to talk about it now cuz I know what was going on, instead of feeling constant "What is wrong with me". I can share the video with another friend who went through the same thing
Why is it that i am always and seem to be the only one to want or actually reach out to the other person. Ive never had anyone reach out to fix anything with me . I am in desperate help with this and makes me feel extremely unloved and unwanted and not worth the effort. The longer i stay away the more i want to reach out and fix things
that's because you need to care for yourself more. Other people reflect our own inner conflicts. Once you've realised this pattern, you can change things for the better. For example if your beloved doesn't show you any appreciation (even though you deserve it; esp. for good deeds) then it goes to show how little credit you give yourself for your own worth and commitment. He/she doesn't pay you attention? ...Well then you shouldn't be waiting for him/her. You need to do the things you love doing. With or without them. By making it your independent choice of whom you dedicate your energies. Not to forget that there's always going to be someone somewhere out there who will gladly appreciate your worth. Though first you need to go cold turkey on this toxic person and learn to direct all the attention, desires, needs, approval, and love towards yourself. Ideally... ignoring them and eventually they'll come back for you because they miss all that love you've been giving them. The thing the two of you have in common is that neither of you are willing/able to approve of yourselves internally. This dependency on externally given self-worth turns into an insidious downward spiral. The giver believes that they will 'get through' to other person with the power of their generous care and proving themselves worthy eventually, while the toxic receiver has no intention of reciprocating the care (but also doesn't want to lose their lively 'source'...) so they ignore them and feel secure by being delivered energy without any 'cost' on their end. They want to be loved but refuse to invest anything on their part. ...now what does that say about you and how you treat yourself? The 'other' person is basically mirroring a part of yourself. Your care and attention shouldn't get wasted into a black hole of nothingness... Your love and worth deserve to be acknowledged by you and only you. Anything or anyone external are a nice addition towards the awesomness you already are. All the reaching out to the 'other' person are poor attempts of you recognising your own self. Perhaps... you may heal by remembering all the goodness you invested into the wasteland of another by redirecting their wasteland to your own inner fruitful garden.
I'm in that same boat.damage has been done. Now I'm scared of her. Because I've been with her for 35 years of my life. And I can go back if she calls. That's why I'm scared. Everybody Welcome to the suffering. It'll never go away.
Work to be a person that doesn’t rely on others. Find happiness being by yourself. People will be drawn to that and if they are not, you’ve reached the point of not caring anymore
@@wiredkink1739 hey... I forgot about this comment here and read it again. It's been about 5 months ago... wow. I appreciate your reply very much. Yaay for digital penpals ^^
this almost made be cry because of how relatable it is , i got out of a relationship with my ex , he was just so toxic and be literally broke me . i hate how i replayed scenarios about him in my head and i react to it physically. i remember walking and i smelled a scent that smelled like his cologne and it hit me and triggered me . then when people tell me they have sum we call like “tea” i think it’s about him and i just get super anxious and my heart starts racing. i try to calm myself down but it’s hard . he emotionally abused me so badly that i felt so low . it’s been all most a year and i’m still healing . he was a narcissist band this was the first ever relationship i’ve been in that has ever broke me so badly . that’s why i don’t want to go to school with him because i’m trying to heal and it’s gonna be so hard because the way he gives me that death stare in the hallways . the way he looks at me in the corner of his eyes . then a couple of weeks ago i saw him around my neighborhood which was weird bc we don’t live nowhere around eachother. i saw him but he saw me first , i went into this flight state and i started speed walking . i knew he was staring at me bc i felt his eyes burning into my face. my heart speeed so fast i could barely hold my balence. i’m at the stage where i constantly have him in the back of my head and i try not to but it’s hard , all the gaslighting , manipulation , it was just too much for my brain . then i barely started to trust my friends , it felt like i couldn’t trust anyone , and i didn’t wanna feel that way but i did and i felt so much shame for that because ik that everyone isn’t out to get me but it’s that fog in the back of your head .
How is it that whenever I think about an issue, you make a video about it at the EXACT moment I'm thinking about it? Amazing timing EVERY single time lol
I'm grateful for videos like these because it brings people who'd really benefit from the comradery in the comments section together. I hope this blurb of a comment helps at least one person who reads it. ❤️ Earlier this year, I got myself out of two toxic "friendships" with two full-blown narcissists. This video really resonates with me, how losing my sense of self was by far the worst lingering effect of complex PTSD; caused by the perpetual gaslighting and delusions. I went no contact 6 months ago, thinking that I would have already moved on from the experiences at this point, but turns out that I need more time haha. Navigating relationships is challenging at the moment, but I realized that re-defining boundaries is a process. Talk to any narcissistic abuse survivor and you will quickly realize that they've mastered patience and resiliency. Healing takes as much time as you need it to, and I've never felt more free to re-discover who I am.
its been 1 year after a 4.5 year relationship, i still have a number of physical stress manifestations, nightmares, depression, severe isolation, dissociation, and i cry every single day. he has no idea what hes done to me, nor does he care.
Oof, I knew from the title this was going to fit my past situation but I didn’t think it’ll fit me so well. Especially the major trust issues, I always rejected any form of love I was given by my close friends because I thought they would just leave me. Yet I cling on to my best friend because I’m afraid of losing him the most.
I was in an emotionally manipulative toxic relationship. I feel the shame of letting it go so long. I completely lost myself and would be controlled by the other person by always feeling guilty. I never had time to myself and felt like I could never say no or else they’d get upset/cry/act childish. I feel so numb and disconnected from that 18 months of my life. I feel sick at the thought of being close to anyone romantically or physically. This is something I’m trying to deal with and this video helped to see that what I’m feeling is valid after being in a toxic situation. It’s been almost 2 years and I’m still affected by it.
Omg I relate to that so deeply. And this fear continued with the traumatic relationships that followed as well. So living in la is a nightmare for me as everyone drives, like, the same 3 cars.
So true... after experiencing a very difficult controlling parent growing up, I still continually check in with myself. That experiences was many years ago and I live 1400 miles away, but it was during a crucial time of my development.
I've been single now for 2 years. And I have needed every minute of it to start the healing process. This video made me feel better. I can stop calling myself crazy now because I went through so much emotional pain that it makes sense how I have been feeling emotionally and mentally. Thank you for this video ❤
Can you please make a video about Body Dysmorphic Disorder. 🥺Thank you in advance.. PS. thank you for helping with everyone's mental health. Finding this channel is a blessing🥰
I've been like this for years. I know something isn't right but I couldn't explain it to my loved ones or my closest friend or even the counselor I was seeing. This video was in my recommends so I clicked on it and now it all makes sense. It's funny how one video can sum up a life's worth of unexplained trauma.
Dr Frank Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
This video so perfectly hit home for me.. I have been feeling every single one of these things and it's been so intense to the point where I wondered if I had some huge mental illness manifesting itself. In March I got sent home from college due to Covid and about a week prior I had a huge fallout with a person I was in a special type of relationship with and it ended with me being completely ousted and defamed by a bunch of people I knew there. At this point it feels like everything that came before was a movie, like the video said, and like all of my problems back then were nothing compared to the depersonalization, anxiety, and moments of total shutdown that I've been having since then. I wondered if maybe I ate some weird poisonous food that gave me a brain disease and made me start acting out like this, but it's comforting to know that this is just what people experience when relationships go really south and there is real damage done. Most importantly, it's comforting to know that it can be healed and one day I'll be back to normal.
I definitely got relationship trauma from my first relationship. I already found it hard to form romantic attachments to people but I managed to fall in love with someone. The relationship itself wasn’t toxic but the breakup was really bad for me and because of the bad breakup I now have a eating disorder and I have even more walls put up on my feelings and emotions towards other people. Still trying to fix the eating disorder
Awkward Alien I too have an eating disorder and it got worst just a week ago, I’m falling apart and quite honestly I tell myself and sometimes lie to others that I’m strong just to see if I can truly believe I have strength to be strong. I hope you find help out there.
It’s been close to 2 years since my first relationship of 3 years ended. I’ve grown as a person I would say. I’ve been doing better on college, going for me. I’ve been having a reoccurring dream for the past year about where I’m being chased outside at night in my suburban neighborhood. I would wake up fast and forget immediately what spooked me but a few key emotions. This happened 3 times before I actually woke myself up from a moan of pain( I guess a night terror). I saw his face, in the dark across the street, he was as happy and Beautiful as I remembered in our good days. This dream didn’t go much longer since it had ended right then and there. This was the first time I identified what was haunting me for close to a year. I felt scared and incredibly sad, ruined my morning and part of my day.
@@Psych2go i used to have all of them and even worse I felt unable to control how i behave id constantly pick fights and i couldn't get myself to concentrate that memories of my ex was coming back as flashbacks to me that id beg for it to stop.. I think now i feel much better trying to take care of myself more I still have the physical symptoms tho Idk how to deal with that Certain songs, places, actions make me feel like at times he won't leave my head ever I felt like i was better and i tried to face with it directly but i got really depressed again ig it needs more time to deal with it idk 🤷♀️
I experienced some of these things.... but most of it manifested differently for me and ended up breaking down my mental health over time.... my relationship with my ex and her family caused me so much emotional trauma, that I basically entered a depressive episode.... for 2 -3 years of my life I felt like I was faking everything.... I genuinely felt unable to feel motivation, interest, passion, happiness or anything for any of my favorite previous activities.... what made it worse was that one of my favorite activities was playing percussion in a local orchestra.... the same orchestra where I saw my ex at every rehearsal.... so instead of feeling excited or ready to handle the music, I'd literally stare at my ex and ruminate over what I possibly could've done differently, how it was all my fault, how I was a failure at life, and couldn't handle anything.... eventually this cleared up and for a period of 2 - 3 more years after that everything felt mostly normal.... but I wasn't out of the woods yet.... fast forward to Fall semester in college in 2019 and depression hit me like a train wreck.... suicidal thoughts and ideations/plans, unable to literally leave my apartment or get out of bed to do even the most basic of tasks and responsibilities.... it got bad.... I went to seek help after that at my school's counseling center, and walked out with a Bipolar Diagnosis and medications.... sometimes the trauma from relationships can literally derail your life.... I'm still struggling with the aftermath to this day. I guess the point of my story is.... if you're experiencing any of this (both the symptoms I've described and the ones in this video or other Psych2Go videos).... don't be afraid to seek out professional mental health help. It can literally be a lifesaver and help you heal. And know that I'm right there with you, hugs to all of you who struggle.
Throughout my life, I never thought I would enter into a relationship that is very toxic despite there being no signs of abuse or toxicity until the end. I never thought after being with someone could cause so much damage to me especially the trauma they insert into me. It's been four months since I escaped from them however my mind keeps playing the events like a movie. A movie that I can't get out of my head especially when I sleep at night. Whenever I hear my friends talk about them I feel a sense of dread and anxiety that is building up. There are moments I still think about them and want to go back to them because I still have deep feelings about them but deep down if I go back I will be in a state of their control again. Watching this video helps me understand what I'm going through thank you, psych2go!
I’m definitely a typical case of PTSD but I’m working diligently on my issues - I’m more honest and definitely taking care of me first - all new “stuff” I fell in love and during a major change in my life but I was blind and it hurt but all I can do is move forward and hope that my life gets to enjoy many new experiences that will fulfill me in ways I’ve always dreamed of
I used to have a bff, 5th grade through 6th. She would treat me like garbage but I never noticed, she'd never like to hang out w me unless she was "bored" she would physically and mentally abuse me. But I never noticed till she just.. Stopped hanging out with me. I've always had trust issues since, when ever I talk or even write about what she's done to me I cry. But I still don't hate her, and I'm just angry at myself for being friends with her for a year and never noticing how toxic she was.
My boyfriend was mentally sick, he locked me in a toxic relationship and committed suicide last December. I am still locked in that relationship! Feeling guilty and stuck. Thank you for making this video however. It makes me feel like am not struggling alone in this world.
It can be hard to recognize unresolved trauma on the surface and especially in ourselves. Low self-esteem. ... Resisting positive Change. ... Trouble asking for help. ... Fear of Failure. ... Strong Fear of Success. ... Planning Everything. ... Difficulty concentrating. ... Hurting yourself or others.
Number 1 sign of relationship trauma... busting into tears while watching this video. Understanding your triggers can be tough. My ex told me that I ruined his life, we had a bad motorbike accident that he blamed me for (he was driving). He almost died. I didn't get hurt. He told me that he resented me for my happiness for years and that's what led him to leave me... I got triggered when I realized that he had all of these symptoms. I loved him the best way I knew how in all the ways possible... I am terrified that I will hurt the next person I love, even with the purest intentions.
It's been 2 months since my past relationship ended and I have all these signs. Even the anxiety and the choking feeling of the moments I had in my relationship haunt me up to this day. I have given so much to the person that I seem to have taken their monsters and owning it on the process. I scratch myself a lot every time I am reminded of what we had. Within the first week of our breakup, I would consider myself almost dysfunctional and weak. I don't really know how I managed to deal with all of these until today but I'm doing better. Although the horror of the past still there.
What is trauma?👍 Acute trauma: This results from a single stressful or dangerous event. Chronic trauma: This results from repeated and prolonged exposure to highly stressful events. Examples include cases of child abuse, bullying, or domestic violence. Complex trauma: This results from exposure to multiple traumatic events.
My parents got separated 2 yrs ago and I noticed my younger sister was the one affected the most. She always in a bad mood me and my mom feels like we are walking on eggshell cus one wrong approach to her she will snap. She gets irritated easily and I never see her smiling or put a happy face. I feel sad cus she have this wall and I feel like if I tell her abt therapy she will be mad at me. I think she has trauma from what happened to my parents.
Summary and Timeline. 1. 0:59 Annoying Physical Symptoms. 2. 1:41 Your Body and Mind are disconnected. 3. 2:19 Your brain works differently. 4. 2:59 Major trust issues. Even with people you know and love. 5. 3:31 You might pick fights or engage in risky business. 6. 4:17 A constant sense of shame. 7. 5:01 You react physically to emotional triggers. Thankyou Psych2go for this video. It helped me understand my unhealed trauma properly, for the first time in a long time. I wish everybody well in their journey to healing. 🙏
Thank you for all your incredibly helpful videos. They have brought me both peace and clarity in relationships and my search for love. Although I have been fortunate not to be in a toxic relationship, I have very close friends who have been. I believe the song “Feels Like This” by Ingrid Andress beautifully explores the covert nature of toxic relationships and the negative impact it can have on one’s life. It also wonderfully expresses what having true love enter your life can do to help to heal. The official video is beautiful and I will say the couple dancing in the end touched me deeply. Once again thank you for what you do. It is so very needed in the world. 🙏🏻
It's been a year.. I still don't wanna date because I'm afraid of getting hurt eventually.. and I still think of "How could he" During our relationship, while I kept forgiving and trying to make it work, he kept stoic. I hate that I ever tried. Should've left 3 years before when he slapped me. I hate that I was so naive. He got a girlfriend in less than 14 days. It's been a years since we broke up.. and a year since they started dating. What hurts me the most is he said he loved me and won't ever hurt me the day before he dumped me.. he could just have told me. I got blindsided. I hate him.
All of this happened to me after every relationship...I even tried to casually date someone and even he left me feeling traumatized, but in a good way. I now know where my boundaries are and I'm not afraid to walk away from anyone anymore. And I know to walk away a lot sooner, too.
Could we get a video strictly on how stress effects us? While watching this, I realize my bad memory may be because of stress. I wonder what else it's doing to me
This is another really important topic that we want to raise awareness for the upcoming weeks. For those who support what psych2go do, could you share this video with someone who may benefit from this? If you did, let us know so we can thank you!
Your voice is so soft!
I love psychology, so I love watching your videos
Nice one, keep posting ! I will wait for your next video !
@@Sudjsuejdh ikr! It's so calming! I love it so muchhh
I'll share this to my friend!
It`s incredible the amount of damage one single person can cause on another.
You got that right!
It’s crazy asf
@John Smith I’m sorry bro , I really am . I hope you the best .
@John Smith I wish you deep healing from within 🙏🏾
Ok.
Imagine now this pain, multiplied for 500. That's me.
And you know what? I'm alone. Completely. Not anyone that gives me a hand.
summary:
1. annoying physical symptoms
2. your body and your mind feel disconnected
3. your brain functions differently
4. major trust issues even with people you love and care about
5. you might pick fights or engage in risky activities
6. a constant feeling of shame
7. you react physically to emotional triggers
thank you!!
Thank you for the list! How many signs did you resonate with?
Atm just feel emotionally blunted and numb..
Wow 7/7
...
Um... where are the knives?
If anyone sees this and is in a toxic relationship remember there's someone out there who you diserve and can treat you right ❤
Thank you for this comment ❤️
Underrated comment
Relationships require trust and vulnerability. So no there is no way to avoid hurt in the future. However learning to love yourself and heal yourself so you are strong when walking into another relationship in the future means you will have the strength to walk away if you need to. Accepting what truly is and is not your in yoir control t is important , as well as knowing green amd red signs of relationship behaviors. All these cant protect you from hurt but can prepare you to handle the good and the bad and walk away from toxic relationships.
@@rietd8849 You're Right!
Thank you so much for your uplifting comment :) what do you advice those who are still dealing with trust issues?
I guess it's time for me to heal wounds and remind myself that the past is in the past. The trauma is at the past, you're safe now.
That’s a good start :)
Gives me that feeling too. It makes me feel like I just died and went to heaven 😇
My experience is extreme self doubt, self blame, guilt, shame, over analyzing and hyper vigilance! Lack of trust and reading the worst case scenario into others mistakes! Almost like paranoia! You can never know when is the next time someone seems sweet will suddenly change their mind and hurt you covertly and overtly for their enjoyment! 😭
@Versatile Wolf My traumatic relationship ended in the early 1990's (yes I'm old) and I still feel it. The pain does feel less and less over time. I am in a relationship with the best woman in the world - 21 years now. We have been married for 17 and we have three beautiful kids.
I guess I can relate it to the traumatic memories fading, and I've replaced them with new wonderful memories. You will get better. I met my wife in 2000, so it took about five or six years before I was able to date again. Good luck, you got this!
Because that is literally just how love is. Women are hardly taught how to respect/love men and it shows so much. Ive given up years ago. Now im targeted by narcassitic women. I cant even live my own fucking life without the harrassment of these women who love getting guys to swoon over them. Like...leave me alone.
I can't believe people like that exist that can couse so much pain for fun without feeling guilty for the evil things they do
@@brianmoody4330 well its morality, and that unfortunately is subjective. Basic morality like things taught by large like by things of a social acceptance and communative desire to go to things like church, where all morals are teathered and understood. Not that I'm one for church but.. it had its purpose as a mass manipulation tool as...well.. humans are capable of terrible things.
So me right now 😭😭😭 I can’t even allow the poor guy to love me right
The biggest sign is when you believe your partner should be your everything and their personal space makes you upset.
Shivam my partner is like that and I’m ok with it
...I feel that way a lot actually. I’m not dating anyone right now, but I’m my past relationships I felt that way.
@@archivez101 You are a good and understanding partner.
@@KiiTiiObaby Yes. It very often puts extra pressure on them to perform and to love which tires them.
Shivam Oh...so that’s probably what I was doing wrong that drew all of my partners away. I had no idea. Thank you!
The narrator’s voice is so soothing. Makes this video pleasant to watch.
I agree!!
Thank you so much for your kind comment!
Super agree with that
Healing doesn't mean the pain never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives. ❤️🙏selfhelpchampion
After breaking up with someone I loved for years, we have been in toxic relationship and finally we have decided slowly to be apart. Since then, I don't know how to manage my emotions. I felt sad at times but I never cried or told anybody else. I always keep going back to the innocent times where everything was great. I keep on thinking what I should have done if I did everything right and continued on. I also keep on doubting myself and have trouble establishing new friendships
I totally feel that
You have to grieve and forgive yourself. Getting there is hard and ongoing. But slowly as you do it helps. Support sites with others going through the same help a lot!! Forgiving yourself leads to learning to trust yourself. That is the one thing they did not hit on. After any physical or emotional trauma you fear the world , you mistrust yourself to see the signs of danger to keep yourself safe. It is those danger warnings that keep you stuck in fear response and physical stress teaars you up. You must find safety!! And eventually trust you can keep yourself safe. All this takes a really long time to establish and yet people think you should just get over it. But your body will not get over it until enough time for healing and proof is built up to feel safe. So the deeper the trauma the longer it takes, the bigger the support system the quicker you heal.
Same here🥺
You're not alone 💖👋
D Riet 😭 😢
The signs:
1. Annoying physical symptoms 0:59
2. Your body and mind feel disconnected 1:42
3. Your brain works differently 2:19
4. Major trust issues even with people you know and love 3:00
5. you might pick fights or engage in risky business 3:32
6. A constant sense of shame 4:17
7. You react physically to emotional triggers 5:02
i hope this helps!!
im already used to haters on my comments, but haters gonna hate 👁️👄👁️
honestly im a single pringle
Who else is a single pringle here?
Hey I saw you on another video. Ignore the haters.
@@m3_mac Thank you!! lots of haters nowadays
@@bluvern6204 no problem!!
Thanks 👍
why would someone hate you for making a concise list of the video with timestamps
I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD and depression. The only relationship i was in previously was incredibly mentally abusive and toxic. It took me a long time to pick myself back up after it ended. I am now in an incredible healthy relationship with my best friend of two years. I have moments where i get triggered but my partner is so easy to communicate to. I’ve noticed my ability to open up more and more to him and i owe that to him being patient and kind to me. Just know your past doesnt define you and that you can find someone who will love you with all of your triggers and past struggles. ❤️ ive never been so sure about a person and hope to build a future with him
Girl you beautifull! You deserve to have an awesome relationship!
I drowned my sorrows in drugs and now that I willed myself off off them (without rehab but with third party help) And now after 2 years of suppressed emotions im finaly sober and free but I dont even know how or where to begin
I didnt just lose my girlfriend I lost all my friends from the past five years I had so much potential and friendships where everywhere
I got stabbed in the back more times than I can count
Major trust issues now don't even know where to begin
I got a good boy doggie tho and he is a light of my life
@@1232002Jarne i am happily engaged to the love of my life! Never did i think id find someone so loving 🥺 congrats on getting sober!! So proud!
@@brookenicole6937 Very happy for you ^^ and thank you! It's been a wild ride ^^ but if there are more people in the world like you I think I'm pretty safe ^^ give my regards to the love of your life and tell him he's very lucky ;) if you ever wanna talk hmu ^^ you seem like a very interesting person you built yourself back up I could use advice from someone building themselves up again ^^
Woow am glad you found love again with your best friend.I wish so for myself too.
@@blessedsoul949 we have a newborn together now and are engaged! I never thought i could find someone so amazing. Wishing and believing the same for you :)
Honestly, to those who haven't had a relationship? Don't rush it and sometimes, the heartbreak and pain is unbearable. Especially when your love isn't returned either, even despite wanting to sort out any issues in the partnership. Some just aren't capable of forgiveness. Anyway, don't search for it. Let it come to you.
Thanks
Also include: Don’t settle for anything!! Get to know them and to really know them? Piss them off. I was once told there is only three type of people who tells the truth. A drunk a child and an angry person.
Some things are not forgivable
Wise comment
Easy for you to say. I dont stay in relationships with men for more than 6 months.
My jobs dont last more than 3 years.
I have avoidant personality disorder!!
My brain needs to move on the brighter and better things.
My ex-boyfriend told me I need to be in group therapy, ever since Covid19 I can't afford any therapy, but watching these short videos help.
My current girlfriend had a lot of bad experiences with previous ex-boyfriends, where they built up feelings of attachment in her and then ripped it away from her. Her last ex, in fact, managed to make her feel like she was in love with him, but then he never treated her like he felt the same. Almost never calling her (even when she needed him to), hardly returning the sentiment when it came to gifts of expressions of love, and even breaking up with her before they were supposed to be going on a big trip that she had been super excited for. Even now, my girlfriend always feels like she needs to apologize for every little thing she does, and she always talks about how she feels like I'm going to "abandon her" or "grow tired of her". There are more personal aspects that I've noticed relate to this video's information, but I've already shared enough of her story. I just really wish there was some way I could help her, but... as was stated in the video, she doesn't fully trust me even if we've known each other for so long. She does still try to talk to me sometimes, though, and I help comfort her through her episodes of sadness. It just pains me to see how her previous boyfriends hurt her this badly...
I'm going through the same. If ny partner would have read this, he must have related everything. I has relationships in the past and I developed many attachment issues. Even if my partner loves me, cares for me or supports me, I'm again afraid of attachment, dependency.
To the one reading this. If someone abused your feelings, don't be one of them. Don't abuse yourself. Let it process. Feel the pain. Endure it. Then move forward. ❤️
Damage has been done.
❤️❤️❤️❤️! Thank you!
I’ve been trying for 7 months can’t stop the flashbacks of the memories good and bad . 😞
I don't know how
Or get justice. We could help each other there. More of us than there are of them. :-)
my previous relationship has messed me up so badly that I experience all these symptoms. any smell that reminds me of the memories with him, song we used to listen to together, place and thing I remember him touching like a chair in my house just makes me stop in my tracks and remember everything so vividly and feel shame for not seeing the red flags sooner. he manipulated me with my emotional and financial situation, made me believe that he actually cared abt me so he could get what he wanted and when he did, he threw me away. two days after he told me he loved me for the last time, he told me he’d rather be single and be ‘free’. I still wonder if he actually felt something and got scared so he withdrew himself because how can someone fake everything he did? it’s unbelievable. thanks to this video, I’m able to get my thoughts sorted out better; so thank you for always posting such educational videos
no name same anything that my ex used to like, I hate now. Or anything that we both had in common, i dislike those things now.
Oh god the smell is what kills me
I have a perfume i used a lot with him, i got the same one again without thinking much about it. Now everytime i use it i just cant keep myself calm
Ay look, a sex bot-
I didnt expect one to appear here
:D lmaoo wtff
@@hmmm9311 Ikr!! I'm seeing them literally everywhere these days. 😬😳😣
I had a hard time accepting him for who he actually was, as apposed to the ideals he represented to me. Now I need to accept who I actually am as opposed to the idea I have of myself. And grieve every trauma I've experienced in the past decade
I’m post breakup and feeling these. The relationship wasn’t toxic or traumatic but this heartbreak is overwhelming.
I have unhealed relationship trauma and I honestly feel overwhelmed with mentally digging it out and resolving it without paying for therapy. It’s felt easier to suppress it for the past year but now I’ve realised it starts to burst when I get mentally/situationally triggered…such as slamming the door, backchatting with my own thoughts/memory, feeling super angry one moment then calm the next… I really need to heal from this..
I have an ex that whenever i saw them I freak out. I used to get panic attacks, to the point of my hands shaking for a bit after, and my flight instinct would kick in. I wasn't able to leave during those times because the ex would come into my work at random times(not purposely). Sometimes with their new partner which caused more anxiety. I dont know why it's so bad if it was almost YEARS ago and while not healthy it wasnt traditionally abusive, just toxic.
I had this too, I haven’t seen my ex in a couple months, but the last time i saw him i handled it a lot better
I went through the same thing years ago. An ex knew where I worked and would parade around on the arm of her new guy and walk passed me triggering panic attacks that affected my work ethic for a few hours if not the whole day.
John Noreau My ex would do the same. He would show up to places where he knew I’d be just to hurt me, which triggered panic attack and more.
It had a tole on your mind and heart they know the person that caused it so the body reacts to it as if it's going to happen again
I dont know If I should be too concerned.. but same.. not with an ex, since I've never been in a relationship, but with my best friend. We have been avoiding each other for at least 3 years, we just stopped talking and never resolved anything. Whenever I see her, I start panicking and my heart
creams *DANGER* ;_; Like If a tiger was chasing me or sth
I was in a toxic relationship for 7 years - we even got married for a year. We divorced in 2016, out of the blue - it was heartbreaking, but I definitely went through all of these. 4 years later, after being with an amazing man for 3.5 years, I am still dealing with some of these symptoms. But he is patient, and I am still healing.
Thank you, Psych2Go. Your videos are always helpful. 💖
Me too - mine was 14 years and however within those years I gained 2 beautiful kiddo angel bears in my life ... they are my strength, after learning self care, self efficiency, and loving myself - out came of no where my bf of 6 months now, he amazingly patience and I feel guilty but as he put it ‘I’m worth it, and we can flow however it make me comfortable’ I’m so happy now, flowing , fear decreasing little at a time ... we got this, we’re in charge of our own future .. good luck to us :)
Somewhere I read For one year of relationship you must recover 3 years
I feel that my ex put all his previous relationship traumas on me, which triggered my own. I ended up becoming really angry at him all the time, because it felt like he automatically turned me into his past abusers or something. And my anger/hurt only confirmed what he feared the most. Now we're broken up, and I hope he comes back after we both have space to heal. I hope we can overcome the past and our traumas :(
How are things now?
@@supremepancakes4388 haha I'm soooo happy it's over and he's out of my life. being with him aged me and wore me down. I'm so so so much better off and happier and healthier than EVER. he made me hit rock bottom, and I'll never be there again.
I was in school a while ago and I had some pretty good friends. I considered myself extroverted, and never really had any problems with anybody. My best friend, I'll call her Samantha, was who I spent all my time with. She was funny, cute, shared a lot of interests with me, and she was someone who I just really liked hanging out with. I'd crack jokes all the time, and I'd sometimes give her hugs. I really thought she liked talking to me as well.
I was at home one day, after just getting back from an after-school activity. I looked at my phone, and saw that she had texted me. I got excited, because I liked talking to her.
But it was not what I expected. Samantha had spent a lot of time typing out a message that took me around 4 minutes to read, but it basically said this:
"Listen, I really don't like a lot of the things you do. They make me uncomfortable. I thought you'd understand that, but you seemed to ignore it when me and Hannah (other friend) gave you signals. I feel uncomfortable when you give me hugs, and when you make jokes about (topic). I don't hate you, but you might hate me after this."
As I read it, I fell apart. I started crying because I had inflicted pain on someone.... I felt awful. I never realized what I had done was bad... but when I looked back on it, it made sense. I wrote a long apology back, sort of like this:
"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry. I never realized that you were uncomfortable. I should've known that I had crossed the boundary, I should've seen the line. But... I just feel really awful. I hope I can fix this. I can stop giving hugs and I'll not make any jokes. I just really enjoy being around you, and I should've just kept it at that. What can I do to fix this?"
I got no response. I thought she had blocked me, or that she didn't want to talk to me. Either way, I assumed I was not wanted. I cried in bed, and I just felt like I was the most stupid person to ever exist. How had I not noticed? I really wished that she would've said something, anything about this before going ballistic on me. I would've fixed it if I had known. But now it was over. I just felt like I was a huge jerk. I banged my head on the wall and cut my hand with a knife as punishment. How could I have been such an a***ole?
The next day I avoided her at all costs. She didn't try to talk to me or anything, but I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. That meant that I would be completely out of her sight. I would stand in the opposite corner of the room, and I would take the other stairs that were further away.
After a while, I began to doubt myself. What if all of my other friends felt this way too? Samantha had mentioned Hannah, so I avoided them both. But then I began to evaluate all of my relationships. I couldn't risk hurting anyone again. I avoided everybody, and stopped speaking with anyone. I wouldn't look at anyone, I wouldn't walk with anyone, I wouldn't sit with anyone. I had made the switch from extrovert to introvert. I dug myself into a hole and closed it.
In time, I kind of recovered. I made some new friends, and I actually started to talk to people again. Now I'm doubting if I'm an introvert or extrovert. But I still feel like I'm walking between rat traps, even if my friends like me a lot. I can't really tell. I have to stay out of the boundaries, at any cost. I'll only do something if they do it first. I'll only give people hugs if they give me a hug, so I know it's okay with them. I'll only talk to people if they talk to me. I have to respect others' wishes.
But when someone doesn't talk to me for a while, I begin to think that they are mad at me. I can't just ask, "Are you mad at me?" because then I'll looked like an attention-starved, self centered a***ole. So then I just wait. Until they talk to me again. Which sometimes they don't. So then I think they didn't like me, or that I made them uncomfortable.
Sometimes I just like to keep to my own devices. If I don't talk to anyone, I can't make anyone uncomfortable. It's not that I don't like talking to people, it's just that I think I'd wreck something if I did. I'm just left to wonder if anybody really even wants to talk with me, if anyone likes me, if anyone thinks I'm worth more than a pebble.
Anyways, if you read this, I'm sorry you had to read all that. But thanks.
UPDATE: This was two years ago. It is… certainly something to read this again. Since the events described, I have found a much better group of friends who I can be totally open and honest with, and we all support each other. They’ve told me their accounts of this story, and from what they’ve said, Samantha was extremely manipulative. Not only to me, but to most everyone else close to her, too. Her best friend of 9 years cut off all contact with her, and has been my main source of information about Samantha. She told me that Samantha took pleasure in exercising her control over others, and manipulating their emotions. I was a victim of this.
Though it was particularly traumatic to middle school me, I am really much much better and happier now.
Not that I didn’t leave the experience without a few mental imprints, though. I had some pretty significant anxiety about being friends with people for a while, and that was really the worst consequence of Samantha. But even that is gone, for the most part.
Long story short, the collection of paragraphs above is full of my clouded and confused thoughts from my pubescent years. Not to say that the emotions weren’t real, because they were, but that I have much more to say in my defense than what is present there. Anywho, thank you *again* for reading this (now exceedingly) long paragraph. Have a wonderful day, and always know that it can get better.
I Hope your okay now. Sorry you had to go through that😕
I talk to strangers and act friendly to a point, they might be going thru hardship too so its nice to send out good vibes. I understand. Relationships have to go both ways. Good luck, try to have fun ànd be kind to yourself xo
I read it hon. Just try to love yourself more and find ways to occupy your mind by practicing self care.
Samanthas a hoe, and you have a heart of gold. Im sorry you have suffered through this internal dialogue so long. The only advice I could give is to try to be vulnerable and maybe use humor to communicate this to people you love. I'm sure theyd make sure you got words of validation when needed.
I just read all that and my heart is aching for you. I know exactly how you feel.
I literally just got out of a toxic relationship like an hour ago wtf???
Anyways, love you guys 💕
Hope you're doing well
Omg same, i had a friend but she didnt support me and sometimes even physically and mentally hurt me. These symptoms are so relatable! I hope you're alright tho ❤️❤️
congratulations! i hope you're doing alright x
I like dogs congratulations bro..love u too😁🎉♥️
goodluck.
im still in trauma from a 8years toxic relationship.. still like ptsd.. stil hurting.. still mind on the cloud.. even im in a new relationship..
Another sad thing, is that relationship trauma doesn't have to be from an extreme circumstance, but we never talk about the smaller things.
I was in a toxic relationship where our relationship was treated like a game. He rarely acknowledged it, until he wanted some personal attention. It almost felt like the relationship itself was a gaslight if that makes any sense. I could never pinpoint if anything was real and it was extremely taxing on me. When we had alone time it was as if we were in a relationship but nobody else could know, and I was always there for him but always doubted he'd be there for me. Our relationship was a tightrope and it caused a lot of emotional damage for me (doesn't help that it was my first ever relationship). It's been a few years since I spoke to him last, and I've been gaining some sense of self, but I have yet to be in a relationship since.
Almost been 2 years and I still think about her about a dozen times a week. What’s so painful is that I KNOW that it wasn’t a good match, and just felt like someone there for me to rely on for happiness. I know I deserve someone more invested in me as a person, but I still am clinging to all the memories. Smh. Good luck everyone.
I know how you feel. I feel the same. It's only been almost 3 months and I need alot longer to process what he actually did to me. I sit in my living room and freak out at The thought of him driving upto the house or driving by. I am also looking to move house for a fresh start. I'm hoping I feel better some where different. All the best to you Patrick. And good luck.
@@nikkim507 thanks Nikki! I hope you find that fresh start soon.
@@patrickkaminowski6380 thank you so much.
Stay strong brother, I’m 1.5 years out and slowly Improving. Still miss my abusive ex, even though I’d never want to be with her. It improves slowly
It’s been two years for me too and I even felt sick today because of it which is so dumb. He wasn’t as bad as some but there was enough emotional things that happened that still affect me. Time is gonna be what fixes it along with effort and it has already been working. Just frustrating.
this made me tear but with a “calm after the storm” feeling because it all resonated and I just thank GOD I’m in a better space than I was before✨
You just described me to a tee. I met my now fiance a year after a 3 year relationship and i though i was fully healed until he said i take my frustration on him and other things i was too blind to see. I heard pain and anger in his voice. Was an eye opener ❤
that's crazy this video came at the right time. I finally got closure today, after a year and a half of dealing with stress and trauma from my last relationship.
great for you! I'm in the middle of mine
We are so glad this video has helped you. How many signs did you relate to?
i needed to see this! i am in the early stages of a relationship now, with the most amazing person i’ve ever known.
the problem? i have relationship anxiety, trust issues, and doubts all because of past relationship trauma. even though the person treats me better than anyone and is very honest, i still have my guards up because i’m so afraid of being hurt again.
i’m going to see a therapist so i can get out of my head. my anxiety is so bad that i make myself upset over scenarios i think of, even though nothing has actually happened. i want to get better so i can enjoy this relationship.
It hit me on how I understand every symptom of these. My last relationship was incredibly abusive. I suffer with extreme attachment issues due to my relationship with my family as a kid. I’ve leaned that I’m like this and I’m going to seek help and heal I will find a way to beat this and to anyone else suffering with the same sortof things you’re valid and I hope you heal you can get through this. I believe in you💙
Than you. Everything you said was how I felt as a child growing up. My mom was very toxic and I was always under stress. I had all the symptoms. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus, would get upset easy, always felt stomach pain no matter what I ate of if I ate or didn't eat, and I couldn't trust anyone. I'm almost 50 now and still haven't healed from all that trauma. I have worked on healing through out my life and continue to peel away these layers.
It ended with him giving lists of everything wrong with me. Twice. I can’t visit my family in fear of being in that town again. The physical abuse is nothing compared to what he said. He was the most important person for 11 years.
He was a cheater I found out after.
You don't even have to be separated from the person that caused this trauma. I've been in a relationship with the same woman for over 20 years, about 7 years ago she got cancer, and the whole dynamic of our relationship changed, as well as her personality. I knew to start 2013 we were going to be divorced before the year was out, by the end of the year I was scared she wouldn't live another few months. After her eventual, slow recovery, she was like a different person. We've been happily married for the last 5-6 years and I'm more invested than ever. But before? She was emotionally abusive in several different ways.
I'm always surprised when I bring up the past at how well she responds to the things I have to talk about. It makes getting over my issues a lot easier. It's like being married to two different women.
I understood some of these, then related to a lot of it, especially when it brought back thoughts, I started feeling nauseous and wanted to turn off the video.
This helped me understand more of what I go through, even if it made me react.
I want to understand to help stop the panic attacks.
Thank you Psych2go.
It’s hard but I’m healing.
Thank you for your comment and we hope this helps! How many of these signs did you relate to?
I have past relationships trauma but not from an ex. From a best friend. He was the most important person in my life and I loved him so dearly.. but one day he just... left. It crushed me and all my friends thought I should have gotten over him after a few months but the pain didn't go away. It lingered for years afterwards. I had physical problems like going to sleep because I thought something bad happened every time I slept so I kept myself up for days. I mourned my friend as though he had died and I used to have panic attacks... I still have triggers when it comes to stuff like that but six years later I'm doing much better. I'm healing myself and my boyfriend of three years has been a tremendous help. Trauma sucks and I wish more people understood that there's physical, mental and emotional trauma and they're all equally as difficult to live with. I hope everyone finds peace within themselves who've gone through similar trauma
I can't thank you enough for this--it explains so much of how I've been feeling. Six years of roller coaster & I'd never had anything like that in my life before & I'm suffering the repercussions. This video at least gives me perspective re WHY I've been feeling the way I have--THANK YOU!!!
@ Mary Kirsten, I feel the same as you. You are not alone in this.
We are so glad this video helped you!! How are you dealing the the trauma right now?
My toxic Narcissistic ex just got married to an older guy after giving me trauma for five years (insults, name calling tantrum, physical hits, nail baiting etc.). She left me broken, depressed, over weight, panic attack, stress eating, stress on small things. She always put fear on leaving me, putting me blame and fight on small things and always bring old argument to show me how badly I treated her where I am the only one who say Sorry. She is never wrong, entitled and angry on my smile, my daily task, my hanging out with friends, my going to gym. I know now I am free, now I can get back to life but I am still trauma bonded.
Things haven't changed. Still having panic attack
I really appreciate videos from Psych2Go teaching us about signs of negative things. Could you guys make more videos on solutions to some problems. Like, 8 ways to get through an anxious-avoidant attachment style? 8 ways to heal from a traumatic relationship? I would really love seeing these. Thanks !
We’re glad our videos helped you! Thanks for the suggestions! We will let the team know :)
Psych2Go thank you so much !!
@@Psych2go yes please things to help you heal yourself and ones to help relationships. One to set personal boundries with out feeling guilty would've great.
This is so accurate, I broke up with my verbally abusive/manipulative ex almost 1.5 years ago but the pain still lingers. I think she’s a terrible person but still miss her. I find it impossible to trust since she lied non stop. I used to be very gregarious, now I like to be alone 90% of the time. I have done a lot of work to try and get over her, and there Is progress but it’s painfully slow. If anyone else is in this same predicament good luck to you and stay strong, keep trying
Thanks to #okospellcaster for his love spell that bring back my ex lover in 24 hours. I really do appreciate your help sir #okospellcaster
This is probably off topic, but, these videos from this channel have helped me to tell my parents about my feelings and I told them how I feel and I think I may have depression and other mental illnesses, and they’re looking into a therapist person to officially see if I have depression and other mental illnesses or not, these videos have really helped me :)
Sadly every single one resonates. Thank you. That gave me a lot more clarity and helped me to understand the reactions that I was experiencing.
I love watching these and sharing these because it shows the different sides of a short term trauma that can be a part of or cause of a lasting PTS/PTSD. And they also show the forms of anxiety that comes with trauma or pts. For some of us dealing with multiple traumas, understanding these simple things helps dealing with.
But also, there are ways out and we can take our time and even if you just made it out the door. You made it one step. So I know you can go further
It can happen at work too, if you have a boss who gets very angry very quickly, then yells at you in front of patients, belittles you, throws things, and then your manager is somewhat the same way. I worked in a dental office that was very toxic and abusive to where i was in a constant state of flight or fight & stress. So finally after 5 yrs, I had to quit. And yes, I stayed too long due to being a single parent that had the type of hours I needed. And that was long ago. I do have ptsd and I get help regularly from a therapist. I still have nightmares too. Thank you for posting and knowing we're not alone. 🙏Many blessings
I learned about sexual violence for university and as students, we have to complete these trainings once every fall semester. They classified 4 types of relationships: healthy, pressuring, coercing, and forceful. I realized that for the longest time my current relationship fell under the "pressuring" category, but with enough time we made it healthy again. Whenever I feel doubts or anxious about something, now I speak up about it.. the traumatic part was me breaking down and having panic attacks every time we would go through a painfully serious conversation in text (and often times we would misunderstand one another's intentions.) Sometimes people mistaken a closed off or emotionally unavailable person for one who's lying to them or using them. That might not be the case, it always helps to open up and talk.
Wow. Right on the mark. I felt pretty alone for a long time about the way I felt after a traumatic experience. I felt like this video is exactly what I needed to see today
This is also true for toxic parental relationships as well. I am still trying to recover from early life trauma and toxic abuse that continued until my mother died.
I feel like I went through most of these things more during the relationship, but after it's ended everything feels so much clearer
Psych2Go, I really would love you to make a video about loving someone who has unhealed relationship trauma, particularly if they put it on you.
Every single word which you described is a reflection gone through by all means. You are that mirror who shows the reflection of what we really have gone through and guide us easily that how people twist their situation.💯 I am amazed that you could really read people's mindset and their situation. Thank you for being my best Guided Channel. Ever♥🙏
Huh, this describes almost everything I've been going through. I've had lately memory issues, brain fog, anxiety, stress, it's been harder to concentrain, and I'm constantly waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Every received phone call, message or e mail I'm almost terrified of, fearing there's more bad news coming. These few songs got me crying cause of the memories attached to them. It's always been hard for me to trust others due to traumas I've experiensed in my past, but in this case I did trust him anyway and got lied to and hurt, which makes it even worse.
Thanks a lot for making this video. Every signs this video has said, I had experienced them way too much and even after i thought i was all good. It's now nearly two years and i have nothing to care about my ex anymore, i have gotten into a new relationship and it was unbelievable to know how should i and how can i be treated so properly, recently i commented on a few videos because im going through these all over again and i was so scared that i might be toxic to these people that i love. But after i asked for a time and confess my feelings, my partner listen, like he did when we first got together, and both of us know myself deeper. I just feel so relieved that this time, im having someone by my side and my family did not neglect me. I'm not letting myself drowning again and i worked and still working hard on it. I'm so gonna strive to heal, to let these amazing people know, how much i love them.
Idk how to heal from this .. I've been suffering since 2 years self harming myself , crying all day, trying to sleep and most of the time I get irritated so easily for stupid things and end up being alone or left alone , feeling like a garbage not worthy person 🥺💔 lost everything hate everything I loved , no hope. I used to workout and score good grades now I'm like useless I can't do any of these things I just stay up in a dark room the whole day yet I always feel tired I just feel like ending my life... To someone who feel like this just wait it takes time "It's ok not to be ok" no matter who leaves u , you've to make ur way... I hope and wish u guys to overcome that one day 🙏🏻
Get help. Please. You need help and you gonna get through it. You are Worth it. I believe in you.
This describes me to a T. The shame. The pains. The judgmental friends who criticize me for not being able to snap out of it. Etc. Thanks for making me see my response isn't weird, self indulgent, a pity party. A choice to feel miserable when I could just decide to be happy. Thanks for this.
A few months ago i left my first relationship. It lasted four years and I'm pretty sure i was groomed into doing things i didn't want to do, as i was only 14 when it started and they were 17,and i was rushed into a lot of things too quick. For four years i thought the world of this person and ignored everything they did that made me uncomfortable. At the end of it all, they pushed me and a friend into a poly relationship with them (neither the friend or i felt fully secure about that).
Time skip to now and i learn from said friend, whom is now broken up with the ex, that during those four years they cheated on me frequently.
Since my experiences with this person I've developed insecurity in my current relationship, ranging from anxiety about not being enough to having a full-blown panic attack meltdown at the end of our first date. Fortunately my partner knows all of this and is incredibly kind and understanding, helping me navigate this newfound trauma as i continue to process it.
Please, if your partner ever makes you uncomfortable, talk to them about it. Be assertive. Be honest with yourself. Tell them how you feel.
This is so absolutely true cuz I have experienced it. The amount of guilt I had prevented me from moving forward. Once I was taught to put the blame where it should be, I started to reason logically and slowly felt better. I was lucky to go to a year long Trauma group therapy and learn about what my body was doing with panic and anxiety attacks, fight flight or freeze not calming down naturally, and terrible night terrors. "The body remembers what the mind forgets" because brain goes into protection mode and can't handle the stress and needs to literally detox. Loved ones around me didn't understand what I was going through until recently. I'm able to talk about it now cuz I know what was going on, instead of feeling constant "What is wrong with me". I can share the video with another friend who went through the same thing
Why is it that i am always and seem to be the only one to want or actually reach out to the other person. Ive never had anyone reach out to fix anything with me . I am in desperate help with this and makes me feel extremely unloved and unwanted and not worth the effort. The longer i stay away the more i want to reach out and fix things
that's because you need to care for yourself more. Other people reflect our own inner conflicts. Once you've realised this pattern, you can change things for the better. For example if your beloved doesn't show you any appreciation (even though you deserve it; esp. for good deeds) then it goes to show how little credit you give yourself for your own worth and commitment. He/she doesn't pay you attention? ...Well then you shouldn't be waiting for him/her. You need to do the things you love doing. With or without them. By making it your independent choice of whom you dedicate your energies. Not to forget that there's always going to be someone somewhere out there who will gladly appreciate your worth.
Though first you need to go cold turkey on this toxic person and learn to direct all the attention, desires, needs, approval, and love towards yourself.
Ideally... ignoring them and eventually they'll come back for you because they miss all that love you've been giving them.
The thing the two of you have in common is that neither of you are willing/able to approve of yourselves internally. This dependency on externally given self-worth turns into an insidious downward spiral.
The giver believes that they will 'get through' to other person with the power of their generous care and proving themselves worthy eventually, while
the toxic receiver has no intention of reciprocating the care (but also doesn't want to lose their lively 'source'...) so they ignore them and feel secure by being delivered energy without any 'cost' on their end.
They want to be loved but refuse to invest anything on their part.
...now what does that say about you and how you treat yourself?
The 'other' person is basically mirroring a part of yourself.
Your care and attention shouldn't get wasted into a black hole of nothingness...
Your love and worth deserve to be acknowledged by you and only you.
Anything or anyone external are a nice addition towards the awesomness you already are.
All the reaching out to the 'other' person are poor attempts of you recognising your own self.
Perhaps... you may heal by remembering all the goodness you invested into the wasteland of another by redirecting their wasteland to your own inner fruitful garden.
I'm in that same boat.damage has been done. Now I'm scared of her. Because I've been with her for 35 years of my life. And I can go back if she calls. That's why I'm scared. Everybody Welcome to the suffering. It'll never go away.
Work to be a person that doesn’t rely on others. Find happiness being by yourself. People will be drawn to that and if they are not, you’ve reached the point of not caring anymore
@@JenWithThePen I think we should be friends, I like your attitude and believe the same! It’s also a journey, I call the panic room.
@@wiredkink1739 hey... I forgot about this comment here and read it again. It's been about 5 months ago... wow. I appreciate your reply very much. Yaay for digital penpals ^^
this almost made be cry because of how relatable it is , i got out of a relationship with my ex , he was just so toxic and be literally broke me . i hate how i replayed scenarios about him in my head and i react to it physically. i remember walking and i smelled a scent that smelled like his cologne and it hit me and triggered me . then when people tell me they have sum we call like “tea” i think it’s about him and i just get super anxious and my heart starts racing. i try to calm myself down but it’s hard . he emotionally abused me so badly that i felt so low . it’s been all most a year and i’m still healing . he was a narcissist band this was the first ever relationship i’ve been in that has ever broke me so badly . that’s why i don’t want to go to school with him because i’m trying to heal and it’s gonna be so hard because the way he gives me that death stare in the hallways . the way he looks at me in the corner of his eyes . then a couple of weeks ago i saw him around my neighborhood which was weird bc we don’t live nowhere around eachother. i saw him but he saw me first , i went into this flight state and i started speed walking . i knew he was staring at me bc i felt his eyes burning into my face. my heart speeed so fast i could barely hold my balence. i’m at the stage where i constantly have him in the back of my head and i try not to but it’s hard , all the gaslighting , manipulation , it was just too much for my brain . then i barely started to trust my friends , it felt like i couldn’t trust anyone , and i didn’t wanna feel that way but i did and i felt so much shame for that because ik that everyone isn’t out to get me but it’s that fog in the back of your head .
How is it that whenever I think about an issue, you make a video about it at the EXACT moment I'm thinking about it?
Amazing timing EVERY single time lol
I'm grateful for videos like these because it brings people who'd really benefit from the comradery in the comments section together. I hope this blurb of a comment helps at least one person who reads it. ❤️
Earlier this year, I got myself out of two toxic "friendships" with two full-blown narcissists. This video really resonates with me, how losing my sense of self was by far the worst lingering effect of complex PTSD; caused by the perpetual gaslighting and delusions. I went no contact 6 months ago, thinking that I would have already moved on from the experiences at this point, but turns out that I need more time haha. Navigating relationships is challenging at the moment, but I realized that re-defining boundaries is a process. Talk to any narcissistic abuse survivor and you will quickly realize that they've mastered patience and resiliency. Healing takes as much time as you need it to, and I've never felt more free to re-discover who I am.
I never had a healthy relationship so I'm excited to see this :)
I've never had a relationship so I could say that I've never been in a toxic relationship
We hope this video helped you! How many of these signs did you resonate with?
These comments are really refreshing. It’s nice to read all the support people are giving to each other.
Thanks for this video it really helped. I love the animations, the calming voice, and the care you guys have for the viewers! Have a great day/night.
Aww. Thanks for those kind words. We love our followers too! :)
Psych2Go no problem have a good day/night.
its been 1 year after a 4.5 year relationship, i still have a number of physical stress manifestations, nightmares, depression, severe isolation, dissociation, and i cry every single day. he has no idea what hes done to me, nor does he care.
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
ViawhatsApp
Oof, I knew from the title this was going to fit my past situation but I didn’t think it’ll fit me so well. Especially the major trust issues, I always rejected any form of love I was given by my close friends because I thought they would just leave me. Yet I cling on to my best friend because I’m afraid of losing him the most.
I was in an emotionally manipulative toxic relationship. I feel the shame of letting it go so long. I completely lost myself and would be controlled by the other person by always feeling guilty. I never had time to myself and felt like I could never say no or else they’d get upset/cry/act childish. I feel so numb and disconnected from that 18 months of my life. I feel sick at the thought of being close to anyone romantically or physically. This is something I’m trying to deal with and this video helped to see that what I’m feeling is valid after being in a toxic situation. It’s been almost 2 years and I’m still affected by it.
i feel u
I start panicking whenever I see a car that looks like my ex’s
Ohh boy I thought I was the only one 😑😑😑
Omg I relate to that so deeply. And this fear continued with the traumatic relationships that followed as well. So living in la is a nightmare for me as everyone drives, like, the same 3 cars.
Me too.
Same bruh
I’m the same 😔
Idk why every video this channel have is so currently relatable.
This channel is so relaxing.even when i dont relate to the topic,i still watch for the great animation and relaxing voice lol.keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for your comment and support!! What other topics would you like to watch from us next? :)
So true... after experiencing a very difficult controlling parent growing up, I still continually check in with myself. That experiences was many years ago and I live 1400 miles away, but it was during a crucial time of my development.
Just out of a toxic relationship and starting the road to healing so needed to hear this 🙏❤️
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
ViawhatsApp
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I've been single now for 2 years. And I have needed every minute of it to start the healing process. This video made me feel better. I can stop calling myself crazy now because I went through so much emotional pain that it makes sense how I have been feeling emotionally and mentally. Thank you for this video ❤
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭..
ViawhatsApp..
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Can you please make a video about Body Dysmorphic Disorder. 🥺Thank you in advance..
PS. thank you for helping with everyone's mental health. Finding this channel is a blessing🥰
I've been like this for years. I know something isn't right but I couldn't explain it to my loved ones or my closest friend or even the counselor I was seeing. This video was in my recommends so I clicked on it and now it all makes sense. It's funny how one video can sum up a life's worth of unexplained trauma.
Dr Frank Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
Whatspp**him*
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@@coachlee864 What makes you think I want this person back?
@@ZoeyCLR78 Wh@tsApp him for help
I've actually noticed a lot of these in my mother. Especially regarding conversations about my father or interactions with him.
This video so perfectly hit home for me.. I have been feeling every single one of these things and it's been so intense to the point where I wondered if I had some huge mental illness manifesting itself. In March I got sent home from college due to Covid and about a week prior I had a huge fallout with a person I was in a special type of relationship with and it ended with me being completely ousted and defamed by a bunch of people I knew there.
At this point it feels like everything that came before was a movie, like the video said, and like all of my problems back then were nothing compared to the depersonalization, anxiety, and moments of total shutdown that I've been having since then. I wondered if maybe I ate some weird poisonous food that gave me a brain disease and made me start acting out like this, but it's comforting to know that this is just what people experience when relationships go really south and there is real damage done. Most importantly, it's comforting to know that it can be healed and one day I'll be back to normal.
I definitely got relationship trauma from my first relationship. I already found it hard to form romantic attachments to people but I managed to fall in love with someone. The relationship itself wasn’t toxic but the breakup was really bad for me and because of the bad breakup I now have a eating disorder and I have even more walls put up on my feelings and emotions towards other people. Still trying to fix the eating disorder
Awkward Alien I too have an eating disorder and it got worst just a week ago, I’m falling apart and quite honestly I tell myself and sometimes lie to others that I’m strong just to see if I can truly believe I have strength to be strong. I hope you find help out there.
Non Entity don’t worry bud, we can get through this together, I don’t want anyone suffering alone ‘:)
Awkward Alien thanks
It’s been close to 2 years since my first relationship of 3 years ended. I’ve grown as a person I would say. I’ve been doing better on college, going for me. I’ve been having a reoccurring dream for the past year about where I’m being chased outside at night in my suburban neighborhood. I would wake up fast and forget immediately what spooked me but a few key emotions. This happened 3 times before I actually woke myself up from a moan of pain( I guess a night terror).
I saw his face, in the dark across the street, he was as happy and Beautiful as I remembered in our good days. This dream didn’t go much longer since it had ended right then and there. This was the first time I identified what was haunting me for close to a year. I felt scared and incredibly sad, ruined my morning and part of my day.
I feel the need to cover my head even thinking about him coming close and touching me
I see. How many of these signs did you relate to? :(
@@Psych2go i used to have all of them and even worse
I felt unable to control how i behave id constantly pick fights and i couldn't get myself to concentrate that memories of my ex was coming back as flashbacks to me that id beg for it to stop..
I think now i feel much better trying to take care of myself more
I still have the physical symptoms tho Idk how to deal with that
Certain songs, places, actions make me feel like at times he won't leave my head ever
I felt like i was better and i tried to face with it directly but i got really depressed again ig it needs more time to deal with it idk 🤷♀️
I experienced some of these things.... but most of it manifested differently for me and ended up breaking down my mental health over time.... my relationship with my ex and her family caused me so much emotional trauma, that I basically entered a depressive episode.... for 2 -3 years of my life I felt like I was faking everything.... I genuinely felt unable to feel motivation, interest, passion, happiness or anything for any of my favorite previous activities.... what made it worse was that one of my favorite activities was playing percussion in a local orchestra.... the same orchestra where I saw my ex at every rehearsal.... so instead of feeling excited or ready to handle the music, I'd literally stare at my ex and ruminate over what I possibly could've done differently, how it was all my fault, how I was a failure at life, and couldn't handle anything.... eventually this cleared up and for a period of 2 - 3 more years after that everything felt mostly normal.... but I wasn't out of the woods yet.... fast forward to Fall semester in college in 2019 and depression hit me like a train wreck.... suicidal thoughts and ideations/plans, unable to literally leave my apartment or get out of bed to do even the most basic of tasks and responsibilities.... it got bad.... I went to seek help after that at my school's counseling center, and walked out with a Bipolar Diagnosis and medications.... sometimes the trauma from relationships can literally derail your life.... I'm still struggling with the aftermath to this day.
I guess the point of my story is.... if you're experiencing any of this (both the symptoms I've described and the ones in this video or other Psych2Go videos).... don't be afraid to seek out professional mental health help. It can literally be a lifesaver and help you heal. And know that I'm right there with you, hugs to all of you who struggle.
Why does these kinds of videos pop up whenever I feel like I’m ready to start a relationship. Like do you want me to be single forever youtube???
Nope. I want you to do whatever it takes to heal your trauma and live a wonderful relationship that benefits both you and your partner(s).
Throughout my life, I never thought I would enter into a relationship that is very toxic despite there being no signs of abuse or toxicity until the end. I never thought after being with someone could cause so much damage to me especially the trauma they insert into me. It's been four months since I escaped from them however my mind keeps playing the events like a movie. A movie that I can't get out of my head especially when I sleep at night. Whenever I hear my friends talk about them I feel a sense of dread and anxiety that is building up. There are moments I still think about them and want to go back to them because I still have deep feelings about them but deep down if I go back I will be in a state of their control again. Watching this video helps me understand what I'm going through thank you, psych2go!
I didn't realize how much that little relationship did to me...it broke me
I’m definitely a typical case of PTSD but I’m working diligently on my issues - I’m more honest and definitely taking care of me first - all new “stuff” I fell in love and during a major change in my life but I was blind and it hurt but all I can do is move forward and hope that my life gets to enjoy many new experiences that will fulfill me in ways I’ve always dreamed of
I used to have a bff, 5th grade through 6th. She would treat me like garbage but I never noticed, she'd never like to hang out w me unless she was "bored" she would physically and mentally abuse me. But I never noticed till she just.. Stopped hanging out with me. I've always had trust issues since, when ever I talk or even write about what she's done to me I cry. But I still don't hate her, and I'm just angry at myself for being friends with her for a year and never noticing how toxic she was.
My boyfriend was mentally sick, he locked me in a toxic relationship and committed suicide last December. I am still locked in that relationship! Feeling guilty and stuck. Thank you for making this video however. It makes me feel like am not struggling alone in this world.
It can be hard to recognize unresolved trauma on the surface and especially in ourselves.
Low self-esteem. ...
Resisting positive Change. ...
Trouble asking for help. ...
Fear of Failure. ...
Strong Fear of Success. ...
Planning Everything. ...
Difficulty concentrating. ...
Hurting yourself or others.
Number 1 sign of relationship trauma... busting into tears while watching this video. Understanding your triggers can be tough. My ex told me that I ruined his life, we had a bad motorbike accident that he blamed me for (he was driving). He almost died. I didn't get hurt. He told me that he resented me for my happiness for years and that's what led him to leave me... I got triggered when I realized that he had all of these symptoms. I loved him the best way I knew how in all the ways possible... I am terrified that I will hurt the next person I love, even with the purest intentions.
I saw this and was like:
OOOOH Y E S LEMME SEE-
edit:
I didn't finish the video but I will today!-
Relationship trauma let's gooo
@@foreveruseless1292 LMAOOOO
It's been 2 months since my past relationship ended and I have all these signs. Even the anxiety and the choking feeling of the moments I had in my relationship haunt me up to this day. I have given so much to the person that I seem to have taken their monsters and owning it on the process. I scratch myself a lot every time I am reminded of what we had. Within the first week of our breakup, I would consider myself almost dysfunctional and weak. I don't really know how I managed to deal with all of these until today but I'm doing better. Although the horror of the past still there.
@Jack Smith I'd check it out. Thank you!
What is trauma?👍
Acute trauma: This results from a single stressful or dangerous event.
Chronic trauma: This results from repeated and prolonged exposure to highly stressful events. Examples include cases of child abuse, bullying, or domestic violence.
Complex trauma: This results from exposure to multiple traumatic events.
My parents got separated 2 yrs ago and I noticed my younger sister was the one affected the most. She always in a bad mood me and my mom feels like we are walking on eggshell cus one wrong approach to her she will snap. She gets irritated easily and I never see her smiling or put a happy face. I feel sad cus she have this wall and I feel like if I tell her abt therapy she will be mad at me. I think she has trauma from what happened to my parents.
Summary and Timeline.
1. 0:59 Annoying Physical Symptoms.
2. 1:41 Your Body and Mind are disconnected.
3. 2:19 Your brain works differently.
4. 2:59 Major trust issues. Even with people you know and love.
5. 3:31 You might pick fights or engage in risky business.
6. 4:17 A constant sense of shame.
7. 5:01 You react physically to emotional triggers.
Thankyou Psych2go for this video. It helped me understand my unhealed trauma properly, for the first time in a long time.
I wish everybody well in their journey to healing. 🙏
I literally just had a mental breakdown and now I’m watching this
Keep yo head up!👍
Sorry to hear :( how are you dealing with the mental breakdown?
Hope you’re doing well
Thank you for all your incredibly helpful videos. They have brought me both peace and clarity in relationships and my search for love.
Although I have been fortunate not to be in a toxic relationship, I have very close friends who have been.
I believe the song “Feels Like This” by Ingrid Andress beautifully explores the covert nature of toxic relationships and the negative impact it can have on one’s life. It also wonderfully expresses what having true love enter your life can do to help to heal.
The official video is beautiful and I will say the couple dancing in the end touched me deeply.
Once again thank you for what you do. It is so very needed in the world. 🙏🏻
It's been a year.. I still don't wanna date because I'm afraid of getting hurt eventually.. and I still think of "How could he"
During our relationship, while I kept forgiving and trying to make it work, he kept stoic.
I hate that I ever tried. Should've left 3 years before when he slapped me. I hate that I was so naive.
He got a girlfriend in less than 14 days. It's been a years since we broke up.. and a year since they started dating.
What hurts me the most is he said he loved me and won't ever hurt me the day before he dumped me.. he could just have told me. I got blindsided.
I hate him.
Sorry to hear that. We all get hurt at some point. But surround yourself in the right environment and you'll be able to see great things again 👍
@@kericwu
Thank you
Yes, sometimes, people are not mature enough to communicate or resolve things properly. Hopefully, you find someone who deserves you.
@Jack Smith
Thanks I will :)
reacting physically from emotional triggers,, such as shortness of breath and shaking is just so true.
He is the best when it comes to recovery ex back💔💔😭
ViawhatsApp
±²³⁴⁸¹⁴⁵⁸²⁷⁶⁴⁷
I haven't been in a romantic relationship before but friends can hurt badly too
All of this happened to me after every relationship...I even tried to casually date someone and even he left me feeling traumatized, but in a good way. I now know where my boundaries are and I'm not afraid to walk away from anyone anymore. And I know to walk away a lot sooner, too.
Could we get a video strictly on how stress effects us? While watching this, I realize my bad memory may be because of stress. I wonder what else it's doing to me
This describes how I feel pretty accurately. I'd rather not think about my past relationships though.