6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Love
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- Опубліковано 6 лип 2024
- Love may drive us wild, taking us on highs and lows. Without being taught the “how” on how to navigate love, we can inadvertently act out dysfunctional patterns in our relationships. Even the truest kind of love can turn toxic if we’re not careful. Are you in a healthy relationship or an unhealthy relationship?
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Original article:
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Writer: Chloe Avanasa
Script Editor: Kelly Soong & Denise Ding
Script Collaborator: Cobse - / spriteoy
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Alethea Van Holland
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
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Founder: Tai Khuong
References:
Am I in a Healthy Relationship? Nemours Foundation. April 2008. Available at: www.uwec.edu/counsel/pubs/bhr.htm. Accessed on: February 12, 2013.
Building Healthy Relationships. University of Wisconsin-Eua Claire Counseling Services. Available at:www.uwec.edu/Counsel/pubs/selfhelp/bhr.htm. Accessed on: February 12, 2013.
Gottman’s Relationship Tips 101. The Gottman Institute. Available at: www.gottman.com/49804/Self-Help-and-Tips.html. Accessed on: February 12, 2013.
Healthy Relationships. The University Health Center, University of Georgia. Available at: www.uhs.uga.edu/CAPS/relationships.html. Accessed on: March 30, 2009.
Fair Fighting: The Art of Managing Differences in Intimate Relationships. University of Florida Division of Student Affairs. Available at: www.counseling.ufl.edu/cwc/fair-fighting-in-intimate-relationships.aspx. Accessed on: February 12, 2013.
Ten Tips for Healthy Relationships. K-State Counseling Services. Kansas State University. Available at: www.k-state.edu/counseling/topics/relationships/relatn.html. Accessed on: March 30, 2009.
Wellness Tips, Fair Fighting Rules. Southwest Institute for Addictive Diseases. Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center. Available at: www.ttuhsc.edu/centers/SWIAD/eap/wellness/fairfight.aspx. Accessed on: March 30, 2009.
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Psych2Go Thank you 💜 we are in this together 💜✋
@Aaron castellanos Have you heard about conduct disorder? There might be some link there to later antisocial personality disorder traits. However, only a professional can truly make a diagnosis. Hope that helps!
Aaron castellanos ? If you need help with anything you can talk to me. What’s up?
I will try!
Vicky's the name 💜✋
“A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams, your values, or your dignity.”
Healthy relationships should be an extra amazing thing life can bring, not something you have to 'pay for'. Therefore, I absolutely agree with you!
cough andy’s boyfriend in the devil wears prada
Online Life Guide - Deep Personal Development Me: Ha what dignity 😂
Of course it’s always equality,balance,independence and patience
I wonder if I deserve love because I'm the one who always made it unhealthy. I've always wanted to change to be better but it's hard, I don't know why I'm like this, so impulsive :'(
There's a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of them
So true!
Exacly! It's like being in love with everything that person could be. 🤔
Couldn't have said it better myself
Agree
I realized this a short while ago with my friend. And its not i didnt love them or ment to hurt them but i did foucs on the idea of them. But i didnt mean to have a unhealthy relationship. I just knew they could be happier and healthier than they were. And i just wanted to help them achive the best version of them bc i love them. but i was more controlling and nagging than caring. I kept thinking that saying " treat others how you want to be treated." I kept thinking " treat me like I treat you."
I read something online where it says: healthy love makes you fall inlove with yourself while unhealthy love makes you the opposite.
Nice
So which one is good?
@@iamdoctorcat6347 when you have a healthy love that's mean ur mind is quiet u focus on your self take care of your self u know what is your value. Unhealthy love makes you sad crying just focus and more follow the person for fix the problem. That's mean u don't love ur self
I get it. I fell so out of love with myself because I stayed in relstioshop for too long.
Wow! That summarizes my current relationship. I have never heard something so beautiful ❤
The narrator's voice makes me feel like a small kid who needs a sweater and hot chocolate
It is one of the most relaxing voice on yt
This reminded me of when Spongebob wanted a sweater with love in every stitch from his grandma haha
@@dariancomsa7204 🤓
Indeed, and i think that's brilliant as most of our relationship problems comes from childhood.
Soo true!
Differences
1. Intensity vs Stability
2. Isolation vs Independence
3. Concern vs Jealousy
4. Teasing vs Belittling
5. Generosity vs Manipulation
6. Honesty vs Volatility
Thanks for putting this together. Did we miss any?
Matt Harvey Ostulano thank you for sharing this 💜
thank you!!
@@Psych2go I don't know how to put this into a single word each, but "Wanting love for the right/wrong reasons." I've never been in-love, and I don't know how to determine what signs I should follow versus which I should avoid; I've never felt "attracted" to someone, and the only "jealousy" I've felt is that people all around me are in-love and I can't seem to have a relationship like that. I love the people around me, but not in a romantic way; so, I know I can "love," but I've never had any sort of "romantic love."
Gabriel French same.
After a string of toxic relationships, I’m in a healthy, mature relationship and scared as 💩 that I’m going to mess it up because I literally am not used to a man like him! 😭
Over time, you'll feel more comfortable with having him as your partner. It definitely takes time for things to fall in place and at first it may seem like you don't deserve it, but it's up to you to catch yourself before you self-sabotage and it's up to him to make you a more confident person. It's a bit of the point of dating someone, you help each other grow into better people not just for each other, but for yourself as well. They are great partners when they make you feel like you can do anything you want on your own and you don't need them to make decisions for you and to help you all the time. If it ever turns out bad and y'all split up, you would have your time to mourn, but then you'd be able to get back up again and become independent. Having them is kind of like having a person to share your great experiences with. They should never be the person you heavily depend on to complete you.
I feel the same in my relationship too so I can emphasise with you. Just remember that no matter how awful things were in the past, it's no longer like that now in the present. I hope that your relationship is filled with happiness, love and excitement :)
i'm so happy for you! please remember that you wholly deserve this. i hope it works out well for you!
Try your hardest to continually be intimate , honest and steadfast. Please do not sabotage the goodness you’ve been blissed with because of your past. Grant you the best love.💚✨
Just remember to communicate that with him. Good luck :)
Me, a freshman in highschool wanting to become a therapist later on in life:
Psych2go: all the info you need to get basic knowledge of mental health
Smiley The Hand literally same it’s great.
Ya its awsome
I wanna be a therapist too :)
Phych2go actually helped me to see what kind of doctor i wanna bee
I want to be a psychiatrist or a therapist and this channel does help alot :)
unhealthy love is when you fell in love with a bag of potato chips
I’ve had that unhealthy love before
Or pinksteven universe from steven universe future.
I like that kind of love tho
I've been called out
Lol same!
So hard to tell the difference between a relationship that needs work and a toxic one. Smh 🤦🏾♀️
That should be a video on here! Because God knows I've been needing it
Especially when you have anxiety
Girl look up Tony Gaskins. He lays it all out!!
This can help u understand,ua-cam.com/video/C_MhLIvvHFk/v-deo.html
All modern relationships are toxic.
Tfw when your parents' relationship checks off all the unhealthy boxes
same
I can relate. My mum knows she's in a bad relationship with my father but she refuses to do something about it. Same with dad, he claims that's just how it is and it's all my mums fault (even though he starts the conflict the majority of times and gets very abusive toward me and her)
I hope you find the way out of it and stay safe 🙏
Totally all ...but it's nearly fine cause they are divorced since I was 9 hhh
Nicola maybe there's nothing to do at this situation but I think you have to do whatever you can before your family get more complicated and then you'll regret that you hadn't show them that they have to fix their problems for you ... you deserve to have a good family❤
“What is love?”
*Baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me, no more!*
I don’t know, what can I do, what else can I say, it’s up to you..
I could hear the beatdrop in my head 😂
I just want to put this out here.
I was in an 8 years relationship.
For the first four years, our relationship was under the healthy love category, I gave him lots of freedom, love, support and concern.
However, into the fifth year I found out that he cheated on me emotionally and hide it from me for years.
I tried to communicate with him and work it out with him. However, it didn't work and he repeated his infidelity.
What I should have done was just leave him...but I didn't.
What happened next was the healthy habits I used to have in the relationship went unhealthy.
After watching this video, I realised I went into the toxic category.... he couldn't stop cheating on me and couldn't stand me controlling him, so he left.
What I should have realised earlier was, he just did not love me anymore.
I shouldn't have become toxic just so I could let him stay in my life, it just wasn't healthy.
I am trying my best to change, although I feel like I can't go back to how I was in the beginning.
I hope someday I would improve....
You definitely will improve because you have learned the lesson. Let them go when you realize they dont love you no more. Dont be hard on yourself, you will get through this and heal, I wish you luck and much love,💯💖
I wonder if he ever gave you the same freedom, love, support and concern.
Or if he just treated you like shit from the beginning while you did all the efforts and did your best being understanding.
Only being stepped on because being too gentle.
I am in relationship 7 yrs and every year , day, weeks he cheated on me bt i dont leave him .. im scared i need help .. im in a unhealthy relationship ..
@@lovelylove6193 Thank you so much I am still learning everyday, grateful for your words 💕💕
@@FocusedFighter777 He treated me very well in the beginning, it wasn't until that day when I realised he was living a double life, that's why it is so hard for me to trust anyone now but I believe one day I can. :)
I often think to myself: Am I too selfish? Should I be selfish sometimes? Is it okay to care more about my own well being than I give a shit about other people? What’s the point of trying to keep someone else happy if I’m not? Self respect to me is very important.
As it should be
As long as the person treats you like a decent human being thats enough. A decent human being treats people decently. You are not responsible for people’s happiness. And give only what you can freely give without feeling bitter when you do not get in return. This is not a transaction. Especially love
Been there myself. Often I get into disagreements with family members over it, where I'm being critiqued for putting my own feelings in certain situations first, namely in issues involving my mental health. I've already figured out I have toxic family members, but what they do still isn't right.
Too late for me buddy, I already given her everything from my soul to my very own little heart...
Never give the girl too much or else you’ll just become her sugar daddy. And women don’t fuck guys who are too nice to them lol. I learned all that about women. You have to let the girl know that you love yourself before you love her. That’s self respect.
You don't deserve someone who comes back. You deserve someone who never leaves. 💔
This sounds like manipulation to me. Maybe I’m overthinking it
The one who comback became the one who never leave. The one who never leave became the one who always comeback. Boom. 😩🤯
As long as boundaries are respected
Giving to get IS wrong. However...
When you constantly give and the other does nothing for you?
That's a different story.
The latter literally sounds like my relationship with most of my friends, that's why I don't even consider them friends but make like acquaintances at this point.
@Willy Wonka .....woah.....
Thank you..
I was afraid of ppl getting used through overly following this to try and be "perfect"
My ex girlfriend used to do so much for me. She was always the one making decisions of where to go and what to do. She was the one giving me hugs and kisses and other means of affection. I noticed that over time she started doing that less. I wondered why, but never realised that I had the ability to do something about that. I could hold her and kiss her right there in the rain. I wanted to, but I didn't. I didn't because I feared that maybe she wouldn't like it. She seemed annoyed by the rain so I thought that she must not be interested. But what I learned now, is that sometimes, your partner wants things that they don't even know they want. Sometimes I had to take initiative and show her that I care about her. Big mistake to not do that. She is an amazing first girlfriend. A person who always works so hard for everyone around her, constantly striving to help people and make the world a better place. She gave me so much love yet I failed to give it back to her. I tried, but by doing the most inefficient things that would really only make her happy for a moment. Presents that took months to prepare, or dates that I was planning in my head, but never happened because I couldn't get it to be perfect. I regret not doing so many things. I lived in a fantasy in my head of all that we could be. I never realised this, until we weren't anything anymore.
@@luc6284 that's how my bf was... I just gave up because I felt like he didn't care anymore, after I left that's when he showed some signs of affection, but ended replacing me in a week {well he's trying to move on).
Yet, he still dreams about me and can't get me out of his head yet he "likes" the other girl....(idk.. The whole situation made me question why I lowered my standards when he wasn't even my type or worked so hard for nothing).
I want to move on but, everytime I do he comes right back🤦🏻♀️,
Communication is nothing without comprehension. I tried "communicating " with someone about a couple things from my past, there was no comprehension on their part of what I said and they took it to the most extreme scenario that entered their mind. Do not underestimate that!
Love that you must be a Gemini ♊ 😏
Yup, just got out of an relationship just like that. My ex would always discuss whether our relationship was “the right choice” if I brought up how I felt. We broke up once, after the second time I said don’t come back because I’m tired of being hurt. It’s amazing how you can be so good to someone and they don’t even realize how they make you feel.
@@maggied.3303 yea that describes it pretty good
Bruh, intensity vs stability is sooo important. Stability might seem boring, but it lasts, friendo. It's true that there is usually an intensity at the beginning, but intensity won't make your relationship last.
Love the stability more to be honest. The intensity can get too overwhelming
For anyone reading this, if you are in a relationship that has one of the aspects of negative love, it doesn’t always mean it’s just a bad relationship and that it needs to end. Obviously, it depends on the extremity, however, many relationships can start out fine and become unhealthy. What it takes is for you and your partner to realize it has become unhealthy and take steps to stop the unhealthy behaviour. Sometimes things just don’t work out, and people cross the line and constantly fluctuating between extremes is emotionally overwhelming and unhealthy. But other times people aren’t aware of what they are doing to hurt you and an important sign of a healthy relationship (as the last tip mentioned) is that you can tell this person what they did or what you think is an issue and they (or you) genuinely apologize and work to change.
ty! i will one day cut them out of my life if that even happends!
I was in a relationship recently and when I brought up things I was feeling hurt by or drained by, as it was very one sided i would always get an apology and listen to her reasons why to better understand her. There was just never action put towards bettering the relationship, no action behind the apology, I brought up feeling like I wasnt a priority several times and the behaviors that led to that never changed, and most of the time whenever I did bring something up it was mostly me just listening to and comforting her which I wanted to do because I loved and cared for her but at some point I realized everytime I had something going on when I needed to be comforted she always made it about her by bringing up her stuff without listening, or passively just not being there for me after saying she could be there for me in those moments.
Thanks for this beautiful reminder! ❤️
But I do think all the relationships take work.
Also the ones with your family and friends.
Not only the one with the person you love or like.
Just, wanted to say this 😊
Loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things.
what's the difference
@@piadylan1207 Loving someone: giving love to the other person because you appreciate them. You like to make them happy (it also makes you happy), you want what's best for them, want to protect them, cherishing them for who they are (flaws and all) etc.
Being in love: is more about what you want. How you see them, what you want them to be for YOU. Always for you, more selfish than loving THEM.
There is also differences between lust and love. Most people think they are in love when really it's just lust.
@@FocusedFighter777 lol sorry but, what about the difference between lust and love thenn
@@FocusedFighter777 lust is a little harsh word to say but I got you,good point
@Focused Fighter Either it's a relative term, or one of us is dead wrong, because have a completely different definition for the two. Case in point: My current 19 yr relationship. We were together for 9 yrs the first go-round (7 yrs my senior; I was 19 when we began). We split up for 4 yrs in 2013. During that time period, we both had a strong love for one another, but somehow lost our will to hold on to our relationship. Fast forward to 2017, we started talking again (keep in mind, we stayed in contact during the 4 yrs, but never got in any other relationships; just flings on his part). We completely rediscovered what truly being IN LOVE felt like, and have been together ever since. For both of us (not just one "teaching" the other), we felt the difference between loving one another during that entire first relationship and all through the 4 yrs, and falling back IN LOVE with one another. It's a more intense, relationship focused love VS the friendship kind of love we carried with us during the separation, or simply just deeply loving that person, but not in an intense lovers kind of way. All in all, we both feel being IN LOVE is a more focused, relationship kind of love. I imagine the same is true for any couple that divorces/separates after a long period of time. You never stop loving them, as you would your own family; it's just a feeling of not being IN love. Make sense? Probably not. 😂
I finally realize that my mother and father never had a healthy marriage-wow
How do you feel after realizing this?
To be honest, I don't feel anything emotional about it? I don't have the courage to self diagnose since I feel like I'm being dramatic and I think I exaggerate the situation than its actual intensity. I just don't like drawing my own conclusions when i don't really understand what's happening.
I've lived with the fact that I tend to have a lack of emotional response to the people I have a close connection to. I know I'm supposed to feel bad about it but I just don't. I'm still trying to figure out that problem of mine.
@shortbirb Yeah, same. It's like my emotions were turned off when I found it these kind of things about people that matter for me.
@@reiisn.8806 that sounds strangely familiar. My father was in the hospital about five years ago. It was his third intestinal bleeding he had over the course of two and a half year approximately. This was the worst time. He almost bled to death. I remember standing in front of his bed waiting for the surgeon to take him away and hopefully stop the bleeding. My entire family was crying and nervous, including more distant family members. I somehow felt very concentrated and present. I wasn't sad at all, nor scared or angry. I just felt... weird. I don't have a bad relationship with my father. Maybe we're not the closest a father and son could get but we get along well and have lots to talk about. So I don't know why I felt so little. I have to mention though, I just broke up with my first ex girlfriend two months ago, and I feel/felt horrible. I loved her very much and I can confirm that I have cried more in the past two months than in the rest of my life combined probably. So yeah, I do have feelings, and she helped me discover them. Too bad she thinks we are too different though. I wish I had talked (even) more openly about my feelings
Same they have such an unhealthy marriage it’s literally disgusting, him over her and her being his little slave....🧐
I'm in a good relationship.
:)
to whoever needs to see this, i promise it gets better. I love you and believe in you!💖💖
Aww love u too sis❤❤good things take time:)....
TY ...thought the feeling dissipated. Nope, woke up ...still there.
ty and you to! 💕
No it doesn't...... don't lie to the poor people.
1) Become focused in Stability and feeling “Euphoric” 2)Avoid wanting to be the only source of happiness 3)Avoid Possessiveness & becoming jealous 4)Dont cross the line when joking and becoming insulting 5) Give with no strings attached 6)Open and Honesty about your feelings without using them against your partner
Healthy love: Victor Krum for Hermione Granger
Unhealthy love: Severus Snape for Lily Potter
The Sass Cat I JUST CLIKED THIS VIDEO TO PROVE SNILY WAS UNHEALTHY!!!
People constantly say that Snape deserved Lily, yet he wanted to join a group devoted to killing people like her. Smh
Marie ᶘ oᴥoᶅ THIS!
I don't think Victor/Hermione is all too perfect, their chemistry is seen in the movie and read in the books as not quite matching up. Cute couple though.
I think Snape deserved a happier childhood and love in his life. It's obvious that some of it shaped his choices into joining a bad group of people. Plus, although it's been a while since I've read the books, he was a double agent no?
Ah but not to say that Victor/Hermione wasn't unhealthy tho
bold of you to assume I have found love
hahahhahahaha relatable
Your profile pic is love in its purest form
😂😂😂😂
I CAME AS FASTER THEN ME LEAVING MY ABUSIVE EX-GIRLFRIEND
*and I oop*
👁👄👁
Lol same
Doodle Milk
But are you lesbian?
Doodle Milk same here but with an abusive manipulative liar and cheater and energy draining ex boyfriend 😷
I was in an unhealthy love for long time. Ended a month ago and I'm blessed with peace now.
Yes this helped me understand,ua-cam.com/video/C_MhLIvvHFk/v-deo.html
when you realized that you're the one who in the bad side, like literally you did all the 6 negative sides😟 Not everyday i do these but occasionally as I always have trust issue with other people. anw, thanks for the wake-up call :) gonna try to be a better one.
Same
same
Same
Same
same
6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Love:
Healthy love is where your SO still talks to you, but they understand the importance of social distancing.
Very true. lol
6 differences between healthy and unhealthy love:
1. 0:59 intensity vs. stability
2.1:54 isolation vs. independence
3. 2:39 concern vs. jealousy
4. 3:35 teasing vs. belittling
5. 4:28 generosity vs.manipulation
6 5:23 honesty vs. volatility
happy to help! :)
Not all heroes wear cape
Yes. This is a reflection of my failed relationship. We both loved each other deeply, but our relationship was built on an unhealthy foundation.
Me: bored
Phych2go:not on my watch...SO HERES A FEW REASONS YOU DEPPRE-
My ex and I were both guilty of different things. I would definitely say that our love remained intense, and I was jealous. My jealousy worsened after they betrayed my trust and broke an agreement we made. I found out a year into the relationship that they had a porn addiction, which was a big blow. I found out about quite a bit of stuff they were doing behind my back. They lied about a lot, from liking raspberries to something as big as an addiction problem. I was overly generous, making up for the lack of generosity they had. We lacked proper communication. It was sooooo toxic. It's weird looking back and realizing that our relationship was as dysfunctional and damaging as it was, because in the moment I felt so in love with this person, and like I would give and sacrifice anything to make it work. They never really worked as hard as I did to better the relationship. I did the work while they reaped the benefits. No changes they made ever stuck. We aren't good together. It's something I need to remember when I feel like I miss them.
My friend relationship is so unhealthy I kept telling her break up with that manipulator. But she can’t loose herself from Him. There’s time when they’re about to break up but then they’re getting back together .And the cycle repeats. I’m sick of listening to her complains when her choice is always return to him no matter how bad he treated her.
I'm going through this. I dated this guy for the past 1 month broke up with him few days ago cuz I felt manipulated and he is now doing the cycle thing still trying to do things that we did as if we are in a relationship. Making a small disagreement to turn into a ling conversation of defense and proving myself. But I don't know what to do cuz sometimes I feel guilty for breaking up with him but then again I see the manipulation and that isn't the type of person I want to spend my life with but he is in denial. I don't know what to do although I've broken up with him
I was in a six months relationship like your friend. I finally broke out of it because it escalated to me changing to be manipulative like him and then i started lying for safety which is all wrong. It didn't start as unhealthy..it became unhealthy when he started becoming possessive and controlling over me talking to any other men especially my ex's that I became friends with. He constantly blames me for everything when we fight. I couldn't be who I am and I am constantly depressed. I became so reliant on him emotionally and mentally that if we broke up, I became so lost and hurt then I started blaming myself. I had family and friends supporting me through all of this. You shouldn't give up on helping your friend.
@@AndalaYoo I'm going through that right now and my best friend feels the same way you do. I've been dating this guy for almost 11 months, well we're broken up right now but we're still acting like we're dating if that makes sense. and I keep saying I'm going to end it but everytime I see him I want to stay with him. Anyways, two months ago I realized he's been toxic our entire relationship and that he turned me toxic as well. He isolated me and pressured me and just did the stuff that a toxic person does. My biggest tip is continue letting your friend know you're there for her whatever happens, but keep telling her your opinion and why you feel the way you do. You just gotta remember it's hard for the best friend and it's hard for the person in the relationship too.
@@alyssac.3681 you better break up with him, ignore him, block him and just stay away from him. That’s the best thing you can do just stop it, he Is obviously using you. Better not and know your worth, forget the happy times you had with him. He is not worth it. That’s the thing with these fuck**s they first start off good and take care with you but after a while let’s say 6 Months till 1-3 years they show their true colors. So nope get out of there you are being used im telling you straight how it is.
In my past relationahip, I always had the feeling our love wasn't healthy enough.. After the breakup this feeling just vanished and I wanted to go back again. Thank you for the reminder. You made this a lot easier. :)
When your in a relationship you are so blinded by love that sometimes you don’t even see when your relationship becomes toxic until you wake you and you don’t feel the same , staying aware of your true self is very important and can save you from risking your mental health
When you realize your ex was all of the negative types and there really isn’t anything wrong with you
This! The emotional damage is real and will take possible years to get over. Not all relationships are saveable unfortunately. Cut losses and move forward, or prepare for a miserable existence.
Love yourself! 🙂
I love that she has a leave on her head
i've seen a rising trend in people saying 'oh, if my boyfriend abuses me then they love me enough to show that they're the boss and they care for me'. that isn't love and sadly this is the mentality of many girls and women out there.
wow that's so wrong
That’s a huge mental problem with this generation
I feel like in society and in a heterosexual relationship, men are suppose to be the ‘dominate’ one while woman are suppose to be submissive. So due to this exception and others, that is why abusive is seemed as okay or why woman do not do much about it. Also, I have nothing against individuals part of the LGBT+ community, this is only an example.
I would say it's the opposite when it comes to gender, at least in my country. Here, a lot of men are like this, maybe even most, while women a lot less (but ofc, there are women like that too). A lot of (married) people here are in such unhealthy relationships in which mostly women behave in *at least* 2-3 ways from the video's list, while men think that that's how a woman should be (although they admit such women and their wives are crazy, they still think that's how it's supposed to be). Women here think like that a lot less, although a lot of them also put up with such things. But women (well, people in general) also often aren't aware that they're behaving unhealthy too - not because it's "hard" to be aware, but because they always make excuses for their behaviour, blame it on men, and think they are/should be always right. And as long as men put up with that (and women with such men), I think the majority of people and relationships will be like that. And no person can be a healthy person while remaining in an unhealthy relationship.
Ha, I think I've just realized why my nation is so fucked up when it comes to literally everything 🙈
@@Adriana.Gabriela well, for starters, that's a long comment. but i read it all. :)
that's true, some men think that women are just meant to be crazy and that if they act abusive or such it's fine. although in my country many women die as a result of men killing them because of jealousy, being overbearing etc. so, i guess if differs from country to country or person to person.
Everytime I panic
Everytime I start to panic
My mother verbally takes out her rage at me
If I still panic
She accuses me of crying
Crying is not allowed according to her
This also makes me cry and then make even more mistakes that she wouldn't approve of
Every time she lectures me she says that it's for my own good
But she is also saying in a voice telling I'm stupid, useless and I'm in her way
Would she secretly wish I were still her punching bag?
No one deserves to be told they are useless, it isn't your fault that you are treated like that.
This may be hard for you to believe right now, but her abuse has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. She's off in her own little world right now where she thinks your "relationship" with her is about just satisfying her. You deserve better than her treatment, you've always deserved better. You never deserved this hell she's created for a second, and you never will deserve it. You deserve to express your emotions just as much as she or anyone else gets to, and there is nothing wrong with crying, it's not a sign of weakness; in fact, it's a sign of great strength, which says a lot about her "strength". Every time you panic, it's because of the trauma she's putting you through. Her lectures are more than just lectures, it's berating, designed to break your spirit and destroy you so you'll end up being her possession so you'll never leave her side. She wants to do this to you so she'll never be alone, and so she'll have, as you said, her punching bag, someone for her to torture. That's all she wants. And to add insult to injury, she tells you it's for your own good. That's a poisonous, insidious lie. There is nothing good about breaking your spirit. It's one of the most evil things anyone can do to another human being, especially to someone they supposedly "love". I'll even dare to say that she doesn't really love you at all, if she's treating you like this. You are lovable, and you deserve to be around others who will *actually* love you. Blood and last names be damned, it's the heart that really matters. I don't know you or your situation, but I pray for your safety and I hope you have gained some distance from her. Keep dismantling her lies from around your life and draining her poison out of your soul. Like I said, you deserve so much better.
@@AishaVonFossen Exactly
this is way to relatable
She is a toxic narcissistic woman and I grant you much healing, peace and love. Check out their videos, I’m sure they have some on abusive parents. 💚✨
Ever since I first saw your videos I’ve been more motivated to improve myself. At first it was for someone I loved. I was so hard on myself that I didn’t see how toxic people were to me. Then I saw more through your videos. It helped me see more clearly on who I am as well. I’ve progressed allot since then and I genuinely wanted to thank you. You people have helped me so much and I can’t express it enough to you. I post your videos around to help other people as well! Please keep doing what you’re doing and helping others understand each other!
i’m in a perfectly good relationship, and we treat each other really good. we love each other and care for each other a lot. we have some of the things on this list, but my issue is that my traumas have made me clingy and dependent. i’ve always been like that. i do believe our relationship is healthy, though, because rarely anyone is hurt and we are 9 months strong : ) we talk about our concerns in the relationship whenever we have one, and we work to improve it and it rlly helps our relationship. this video scared me at first lmao until i rlly thought about it
Look into codependency issues
hey, progress isn't linear so if you are going though a rough patch, be compassionate to yourself
I needed this a long time ago. I was blind to how bad my ex girlfriend was treating me
Same here.
Same here.
The indicator of having a healthy relationship is when you both can do different things at the same time. But neither of you is being bitter about it because the two of you have space to do other stuff.
But what if the other never does things with you? Or more specifically, stopped doing things with you. Arranges dates, then doesn't show up. Is it wrong to feel bitter when they spend time doing whatever else?
@@Walamonga1313 Then u arrange dates bro
Only works when both parties make space for each other
Normal people: wow, this is so deep
Me: **sings** WhAt Is LoVe? BaBy DoN't HuRt Me! DoN't HuRt Me, No MoRe! _WhAt Is LoVe!!_
Well hello shrek didn't expect you here.
Was thinking of the song, too.
I know that song
Shrek i love you
Ask Fiona. She will make you understand.
When I was in high school my freshman year my ex friend match made with a guy she used to know from our elementary school but since me and him got together he became so immature and whiney and complainy and it was toxic and then I dated a guy in my junior year he cheated on me an then my senior year my ex and I dated for a year and then 2012 he dumped me after the funeral of my uncle in law I stayed single for a while then 2014 I found myself and I was happy I met new people and then a guy I used to know from college we reconnected again through facebook and then 2015 we had our first date and have been together for 6 years already and never been happier
I'm glad things got better for you! Just goes to show that all bad things come to an end! :D
Fake.
so.. what im experiencing now is normal. I noticed that guys that court me are manipulators and liars. they lie just to get my sympathy or so i could like them.
@@azula9830 my advice is be careful about which guys you talk to they can be tricky I been there a guy I dated was such a bad boy he went from girl to girl just guys these days has no self respect
@@killertomatofuck GTFO
What about when you become the person who is obsessed and jealous all the time? I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to mess up what we have. I don't want to become this monster to him. I love him I really do. He just feels like the only thing that makes me feel alive anymore..
Same here and I just found out that I'm emotionally dependent to him. I love him but I have to leave him so I did.
Unhealthy relationships make rules to control, healthy relationships set boundaries that harbor mutual respect
My ex turned into the manipulative person that wasn't love so that's why I had to break up with him
i'm proud of you
I'm in love with the wall in the school I love sleeping beside it..I miss him ;-;
Is this a real number .-. ?
😂😂😂👍🏻
It’s been really hard to stay connected and develop good communication habits with my SO during this time. Watching your videos have helped me, keep up the amazing work :)
Thank you for this video. I didn't realize how toxic my codependency had truly become.. and I truly care about my partner. I have been working on this and improving. This was just the reminder I needed at the perfect time.
I spend 11 months in an unhealthy relationship...thank god I'm out of it and now I can focus on myself and learn from what when wrong so I can put to practice the fixed mistakes and develop a healthy relationship with myself and my future partner. Thank you for this video!
Yes, I appreciate it very much I just got out of a narcissist and abusive relationship and I'm not ever wanting to find another person like that. Thank you for the education on this.
I want to say thank you. Thank you so much. My partner left me on Wednesday, and he was all of these negative aspects, and I didn't see it.
Honestly, thank you so much!
i’m literally such a jealous person it SUCKS. Can’t do one thing without being absolutely overprotective and angry anymore 💗✨
Not everybody you meet will be like your ex. Try to heal yourself. ☺️🤗
Yes... I’ve been trying to work on myself to not be jealous , Cos it hurts to be like that
Do better! its fucking horrible to be on receiving end. At least you recognize it though
Just have in mind that jealousy actually ruins the relationships. You're becoming smothering for your partner.
Trying really hard to get over an unhealthy relationship. I have to constantly keep reminding myself about all the unhealthy aspects of it to not run back to him but it is so damn hard because I love him eventhough I know we're not right for each other
Need .. stability, independence,concern,teasing, generosity,honesty n loyalty...❤😊🎉
every time I see a post from this channel, my day feels so much better cuz they are actually helpful and kind...
thanks Psych2Go, you guys always make me smile
Sigh. Two and a half years I went through those! And after my partner left I struggle to cope and I'm still struggling even now I'm watching this. Sigh I don't believe in love again! My eyes twitches every time I hear people say "I love you" in an intimate way! Even from movies and other videos!
this makes me feel good about my relationship right now
This is so good, thank you for putting it so nicely ❤
This is a great example of how I learn from you.. I didn't even have a clue with the difference..that is until today 😊. I thank you.. again😊
0:12 legit just thought: “love, it’s what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.” And now I’m disappointed that’s not what it said
I didn’t realize I was in an unhealthy relationship until my friends sat me down and really helped me open my eyes. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t know what could have happened to me and my mental health. I am grateful for them looking out for me and caring so much for me
Your videos are great! They really help with things that a lot of people are going through. This sounds like the things said in the video also works with friends, too. That you for sharing these things with us! ❤️
Just realized two months ago that my current relationship is mostly this jealousy monster & not love. This video hit on everything that I have just realized it’s been happening for years
Your videos really help me figure out my life..ty. 💜 :3
I gave you everything I had without expectations, you gave me nothing at all and expected me to stay
I really love watching your videos to know or to get an idea that I was not in the wrong. My last relationship with a girl turned sour quickly after I cheated on her, I do regret and that’s on me, before that she would guard me from my phone and only want to cuddle when we hang out together. She would argue with me about playing on my computer when she is over; she stayed over for 12 hours a day, 4 days a week. She would hit me enough to hurt me mentally, making me feel bad. She only wanted me, and with that she put me into an isolation, I fell deeper into my depression. I never hung out with friends. With me falling into depression, she started to get depressed. But once I was happy, she was happy; which I see as normal, but sometimes I can’t control when I have a breakdown or an anxiety attack or just a general episode of some sort. That’s when she started to become depressed everyday, after we ended it she was happy. It’s like she faked it, but she was depressed in our relationship. I feel so lonely and still think of the idea of cuddling her. 😔
This is the best channel. Thank you for the information.
I never really knew what the toxicity of my last relationship actually was and I broke down crying when watching this video because my ex did all these things to me when we were in a relationship.
now I’m in love with the most wonderful guy ever. i finally know what love really means and I don’t want to lose it :) thank you so much ❤️
This don't affect me I'm single
What made you curious about this video? ;)
@@Psych2go I just love your videos I never miss them but I've been hurt before and had my heartbroken so I can. Relate a lot
Some of these can actually still happen in different types of relationships. Manipulation being the biggest example. A lot of unhealthy relationships including abusive ones between family members involve manipulation. I can give you a personal example: my mom gives gifts to my sisters and I with the expectation that she would get us to only love her and nobody else simply because she gave us life. A loving parent should never hold you back and do what's best for you. In this case, my mom says that if we loved her, we would stay in her life and serve her back when she's older just like she did when we were children. The point is, manipulation can be tricky to notice when someone who is supposed to be really close to you and is supposed to nurture you does it.
@@carolinacoreas7716 she says if you love her you have to serve her that's not love in my eyes you look after eachother obviously my mom used to hurt me physically and mentally I'm now on medication for my illness I was abused in the worst way to so I struggle even meeting people now
@@keiron.4612 I somewhat understand you. I may not have gone through what you have, but I can share a similar sentiment. My mom is codependent and possibly a narcissist, manipulation is her whole game. She's always the victim and it's always about her. I'm still struggling to cope with my anxiety and I recently had a depressive episode. I barely got a sense of self by the time I was a sophomore in high school. I always felt like she was in control of my life. I struggle to remember that now I can have control of my own life and that I should try to not let her manipulate me again. I haven't gotten the proper help yet, but I'm aching to just finally start healing. I try to love her but she makes it so hard when she's the one who hurts me and she pushes me away when I try to make her feel better about herself. I know she's the only one who can change herself, but I wish she'd finally find a purpose so that she can heal herself and grow more independent. I know deep down, she hates herself, but at this point, there's not much I can do to help. I like sharing my story with others because I hope that telling it can help others suffering to find help and to take action on separating themselves from the toxic person. I sometimes think that I'm just being selfish with how much I talk about my experience and I'm always scared I'm going to turn out like my mom.
thank you!! I am learning and growing a great deal.
Amanda, your voice makes me so relaxed & playing videos with your voice over is becoming my new way to sleep faster! 😅😌❤️💝
This really made me more secure with ending my relationship because everything that happened was unhealthy but I didn’t know
Thank you
Beautifully presented and very insightful. Thank you 😊
I always get something from this channel. Thank you for your continued work ❤️
Omg this is great! You guys know exactly what we want ^w^
Yes, we do? :)
Thank for helping me understand the difference!
Thank you for every video you've posted.
You help me stay in touch with my emotions and understand me better without being harmful to myself but being kind an open whenever I feel like I'm losing it.
Greetings from Mexico ❤️
Needed this :') and I am sure that alot of other people did too. Thank you Psych2go. Keep up the good work!
I've been in a relationship for over 3 months now , everything went from 0 to 100 and I love it 🥰 we're very clingy and look out for eachother but that's because of past trauma and heart break , we love eachothers company more than anything 🥰🥰 (I love u Kayleigh , thank you so much for loving me back 🥰)
So cute I love it❤️
I’m in a relationship like this too we’ve been together for 3 months. I’m so happy for you wish you guys the best
Man, I actually never realized that I was experiencing unhealthy love. I was in a relationship for almost a year and a half. Things went upside down when I started high school(was a freshman now a sophomore). I can relate with numbers 2, 3 and part of 1 & 6. Mainly numbers 2 and 3. I had to end the my relationship with my ex-boyfriend because of his controlling/obsessive/overprotective behavior. The worst part that he was so sweet to me but he didn't like my closest friends. But I felt I had a disadvantage because I have a sweet nature around people that I get along with. Now my ex hates me and saying that I cheated on him for my online best friend. I didn't cheat on him and I had fights with him, via text, that would get me into tears. But I also sometimes feel he didn't care how I felt when I wasn't seen a close friend. I tried telling him but it seems it didn't work. I just hope I hope I find someone better than him.
I love psych to go. The narrator has a very calm, soothing voice.
This channel is actually helping me write the romance in my fanfiction. Thank you 🙂
I wish I knew this existed when I was in my abusive relationships years ago
Lately I’ve been fearing that I’m becoming a very toxic person. I’ve had a crush on someone for a very long time, and I think for a while I sort of was under the impression that we were kind of dating. Even a lot of our friends were confused when I said that we weren’t. But despite that, or maybe because of it, I still feel very insecure about my crush. Whenever I see them talk to someone who isn’t me; having fun or enjoying something when I’m not involved; being kind and attentive to other people; not responding to my constant messages or attempts to hang out; or when I’m not the only person they reach out to for support or to talk about stuff, I feel very hurt. As if it’s their responsibility to manage all of my own emotional baggage or to prop me up as this supremely important person in their life. Lately I’ve been improving a bit I think and I’m starting to assimilate the concept of independence and respecting boundaries. This video also really helped a lot with internalizing my feelings and helping to parse them a bit so I can figure out how to address them. I appreciate it a lot.
I want to thank yall for helping me understand my emotions, I need help talking to people about it and I need some pointers/tips about it
Animations and words hit hard in this video. Thanks for making such touching content!
*✨🌸Quote Of The Day!🌸✨*
“ ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson
*Reminder:*
You are beautiful. You are loved. You are worth it. Don’t ever doubt that! 💘💜💗💙💖💛
I love you! Have an amazing day 🥺
🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨
No it isnt.......
Not everyone is a beautiful special snowflake. Better to be pragmatic than fall around believing your super special and amazing. Billions of people on this planet. No way all of them are special, if everyone is special it defeats the purpose of the word special. Make sense?
@@prettz9742 have fun with your depressing life then!
Finger: I AM SPEED
You stole this gachatard
lennon the cat productions lmao don't judge people based off the things they like it's dumb 😂😂
You didn't had to write that twice
Well having somewhat been there yes I can relate to some of these symptoms. But what I really wanted to say was that voice or the narrator has helped relax me as my body was going through some unusual forms of physical stress and the calm voice of the narrator really helped to soothe me. So I can only say thankyou oh-so-much.
This video was really informing and may be usefull later in my life... Im too young for this rn. These videos and the comment sections that come with them are really great places to discuss with other people about sensitive situations, or just telling stories and experiences. I love being here and I hope this can go on for a long time. Keep it up everyone!!! ;)
This literally describes what I tried to teach my partner in my first serious relationship, but he took the unhealthy route.
Thank you guys for making such helpful content. 😊
yes I really wanted to talk about these things with her - as I knew the "love buzz" wouldnt last (it felt really good tho)
Thanks for all the educational videos you folks produce
Thank you for this video I really needed it
Thx