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@Aaron castellanos Have you heard about conduct disorder? There might be some link there to later antisocial personality disorder traits. However, only a professional can truly make a diagnosis. Hope that helps!
I wonder if I deserve love because I'm the one who always made it unhealthy. I've always wanted to change to be better but it's hard, I don't know why I'm like this, so impulsive :'(
I realized this a short while ago with my friend. And its not i didnt love them or ment to hurt them but i did foucs on the idea of them. But i didnt mean to have a unhealthy relationship. I just knew they could be happier and healthier than they were. And i just wanted to help them achive the best version of them bc i love them. but i was more controlling and nagging than caring. I kept thinking that saying " treat others how you want to be treated." I kept thinking " treat me like I treat you."
@@iamdoctorcat6347 when you have a healthy love that's mean ur mind is quiet u focus on your self take care of your self u know what is your value. Unhealthy love makes you sad crying just focus and more follow the person for fix the problem. That's mean u don't love ur self
Differences 1. Intensity vs Stability 2. Isolation vs Independence 3. Concern vs Jealousy 4. Teasing vs Belittling 5. Generosity vs Manipulation 6. Honesty vs Volatility
@@Psych2go I don't know how to put this into a single word each, but "Wanting love for the right/wrong reasons." I've never been in-love, and I don't know how to determine what signs I should follow versus which I should avoid; I've never felt "attracted" to someone, and the only "jealousy" I've felt is that people all around me are in-love and I can't seem to have a relationship like that. I love the people around me, but not in a romantic way; so, I know I can "love," but I've never had any sort of "romantic love."
After a string of toxic relationships, I’m in a healthy, mature relationship and scared as 💩 that I’m going to mess it up because I literally am not used to a man like him! 😭
Over time, you'll feel more comfortable with having him as your partner. It definitely takes time for things to fall in place and at first it may seem like you don't deserve it, but it's up to you to catch yourself before you self-sabotage and it's up to him to make you a more confident person. It's a bit of the point of dating someone, you help each other grow into better people not just for each other, but for yourself as well. They are great partners when they make you feel like you can do anything you want on your own and you don't need them to make decisions for you and to help you all the time. If it ever turns out bad and y'all split up, you would have your time to mourn, but then you'd be able to get back up again and become independent. Having them is kind of like having a person to share your great experiences with. They should never be the person you heavily depend on to complete you.
I feel the same in my relationship too so I can emphasise with you. Just remember that no matter how awful things were in the past, it's no longer like that now in the present. I hope that your relationship is filled with happiness, love and excitement :)
Try your hardest to continually be intimate , honest and steadfast. Please do not sabotage the goodness you’ve been blissed with because of your past. Grant you the best love.💚✨
I often think to myself: Am I too selfish? Should I be selfish sometimes? Is it okay to care more about my own well being than I give a shit about other people? What’s the point of trying to keep someone else happy if I’m not? Self respect to me is very important.
As long as the person treats you like a decent human being thats enough. A decent human being treats people decently. You are not responsible for people’s happiness. And give only what you can freely give without feeling bitter when you do not get in return. This is not a transaction. Especially love
Been there myself. Often I get into disagreements with family members over it, where I'm being critiqued for putting my own feelings in certain situations first, namely in issues involving my mental health. I've already figured out I have toxic family members, but what they do still isn't right.
Never give the girl too much or else you’ll just become her sugar daddy. And women don’t fuck guys who are too nice to them lol. I learned all that about women. You have to let the girl know that you love yourself before you love her. That’s self respect.
I just want to put this out here. I was in an 8 years relationship. For the first four years, our relationship was under the healthy love category, I gave him lots of freedom, love, support and concern. However, into the fifth year I found out that he cheated on me emotionally and hide it from me for years. I tried to communicate with him and work it out with him. However, it didn't work and he repeated his infidelity. What I should have done was just leave him...but I didn't. What happened next was the healthy habits I used to have in the relationship went unhealthy. After watching this video, I realised I went into the toxic category.... he couldn't stop cheating on me and couldn't stand me controlling him, so he left. What I should have realised earlier was, he just did not love me anymore. I shouldn't have become toxic just so I could let him stay in my life, it just wasn't healthy. I am trying my best to change, although I feel like I can't go back to how I was in the beginning. I hope someday I would improve....
You definitely will improve because you have learned the lesson. Let them go when you realize they dont love you no more. Dont be hard on yourself, you will get through this and heal, I wish you luck and much love,💯💖
I wonder if he ever gave you the same freedom, love, support and concern. Or if he just treated you like shit from the beginning while you did all the efforts and did your best being understanding. Only being stepped on because being too gentle.
I am in relationship 7 yrs and every year , day, weeks he cheated on me bt i dont leave him .. im scared i need help .. im in a unhealthy relationship ..
@@FocusedFighter777 He treated me very well in the beginning, it wasn't until that day when I realised he was living a double life, that's why it is so hard for me to trust anyone now but I believe one day I can. :)
The latter literally sounds like my relationship with most of my friends, that's why I don't even consider them friends but make like acquaintances at this point.
My ex girlfriend used to do so much for me. She was always the one making decisions of where to go and what to do. She was the one giving me hugs and kisses and other means of affection. I noticed that over time she started doing that less. I wondered why, but never realised that I had the ability to do something about that. I could hold her and kiss her right there in the rain. I wanted to, but I didn't. I didn't because I feared that maybe she wouldn't like it. She seemed annoyed by the rain so I thought that she must not be interested. But what I learned now, is that sometimes, your partner wants things that they don't even know they want. Sometimes I had to take initiative and show her that I care about her. Big mistake to not do that. She is an amazing first girlfriend. A person who always works so hard for everyone around her, constantly striving to help people and make the world a better place. She gave me so much love yet I failed to give it back to her. I tried, but by doing the most inefficient things that would really only make her happy for a moment. Presents that took months to prepare, or dates that I was planning in my head, but never happened because I couldn't get it to be perfect. I regret not doing so many things. I lived in a fantasy in my head of all that we could be. I never realised this, until we weren't anything anymore.
@@luc6284 that's how my bf was... I just gave up because I felt like he didn't care anymore, after I left that's when he showed some signs of affection, but ended replacing me in a week {well he's trying to move on). Yet, he still dreams about me and can't get me out of his head yet he "likes" the other girl....(idk.. The whole situation made me question why I lowered my standards when he wasn't even my type or worked so hard for nothing). I want to move on but, everytime I do he comes right back🤦🏻♀️,
Communication is nothing without comprehension. I tried "communicating " with someone about a couple things from my past, there was no comprehension on their part of what I said and they took it to the most extreme scenario that entered their mind. Do not underestimate that!
Yup, just got out of an relationship just like that. My ex would always discuss whether our relationship was “the right choice” if I brought up how I felt. We broke up once, after the second time I said don’t come back because I’m tired of being hurt. It’s amazing how you can be so good to someone and they don’t even realize how they make you feel.
For anyone reading this, if you are in a relationship that has one of the aspects of negative love, it doesn’t always mean it’s just a bad relationship and that it needs to end. Obviously, it depends on the extremity, however, many relationships can start out fine and become unhealthy. What it takes is for you and your partner to realize it has become unhealthy and take steps to stop the unhealthy behaviour. Sometimes things just don’t work out, and people cross the line and constantly fluctuating between extremes is emotionally overwhelming and unhealthy. But other times people aren’t aware of what they are doing to hurt you and an important sign of a healthy relationship (as the last tip mentioned) is that you can tell this person what they did or what you think is an issue and they (or you) genuinely apologize and work to change.
I was in a relationship recently and when I brought up things I was feeling hurt by or drained by, as it was very one sided i would always get an apology and listen to her reasons why to better understand her. There was just never action put towards bettering the relationship, no action behind the apology, I brought up feeling like I wasnt a priority several times and the behaviors that led to that never changed, and most of the time whenever I did bring something up it was mostly me just listening to and comforting her which I wanted to do because I loved and cared for her but at some point I realized everytime I had something going on when I needed to be comforted she always made it about her by bringing up her stuff without listening, or passively just not being there for me after saying she could be there for me in those moments.
Thanks for this beautiful reminder! ❤️ But I do think all the relationships take work. Also the ones with your family and friends. Not only the one with the person you love or like. Just, wanted to say this 😊
Bruh, intensity vs stability is sooo important. Stability might seem boring, but it lasts, friendo. It's true that there is usually an intensity at the beginning, but intensity won't make your relationship last.
@@piadylan1207 Loving someone: giving love to the other person because you appreciate them. You like to make them happy (it also makes you happy), you want what's best for them, want to protect them, cherishing them for who they are (flaws and all) etc. Being in love: is more about what you want. How you see them, what you want them to be for YOU. Always for you, more selfish than loving THEM. There is also differences between lust and love. Most people think they are in love when really it's just lust.
@Focused Fighter Either it's a relative term, or one of us is dead wrong, because have a completely different definition for the two. Case in point: My current 19 yr relationship. We were together for 9 yrs the first go-round (7 yrs my senior; I was 19 when we began). We split up for 4 yrs in 2013. During that time period, we both had a strong love for one another, but somehow lost our will to hold on to our relationship. Fast forward to 2017, we started talking again (keep in mind, we stayed in contact during the 4 yrs, but never got in any other relationships; just flings on his part). We completely rediscovered what truly being IN LOVE felt like, and have been together ever since. For both of us (not just one "teaching" the other), we felt the difference between loving one another during that entire first relationship and all through the 4 yrs, and falling back IN LOVE with one another. It's a more intense, relationship focused love VS the friendship kind of love we carried with us during the separation, or simply just deeply loving that person, but not in an intense lovers kind of way. All in all, we both feel being IN LOVE is a more focused, relationship kind of love. I imagine the same is true for any couple that divorces/separates after a long period of time. You never stop loving them, as you would your own family; it's just a feeling of not being IN love. Make sense? Probably not. 😂
I can relate. My mum knows she's in a bad relationship with my father but she refuses to do something about it. Same with dad, he claims that's just how it is and it's all my mums fault (even though he starts the conflict the majority of times and gets very abusive toward me and her)
Nicola maybe there's nothing to do at this situation but I think you have to do whatever you can before your family get more complicated and then you'll regret that you hadn't show them that they have to fix their problems for you ... you deserve to have a good family❤
6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Love: Healthy love is where your SO still talks to you, but they understand the importance of social distancing.
6 differences between healthy and unhealthy love: 1. 0:59 intensity vs. stability 2.1:54 isolation vs. independence 3. 2:39 concern vs. jealousy 4. 3:35 teasing vs. belittling 5. 4:28 generosity vs.manipulation 6 5:23 honesty vs. volatility happy to help! :)
I don't think Victor/Hermione is all too perfect, their chemistry is seen in the movie and read in the books as not quite matching up. Cute couple though. I think Snape deserved a happier childhood and love in his life. It's obvious that some of it shaped his choices into joining a bad group of people. Plus, although it's been a while since I've read the books, he was a double agent no?
1) Become focused in Stability and feeling “Euphoric” 2)Avoid wanting to be the only source of happiness 3)Avoid Possessiveness & becoming jealous 4)Dont cross the line when joking and becoming insulting 5) Give with no strings attached 6)Open and Honesty about your feelings without using them against your partner
To be honest, I don't feel anything emotional about it? I don't have the courage to self diagnose since I feel like I'm being dramatic and I think I exaggerate the situation than its actual intensity. I just don't like drawing my own conclusions when i don't really understand what's happening. I've lived with the fact that I tend to have a lack of emotional response to the people I have a close connection to. I know I'm supposed to feel bad about it but I just don't. I'm still trying to figure out that problem of mine.
@@reiisn.8806 that sounds strangely familiar. My father was in the hospital about five years ago. It was his third intestinal bleeding he had over the course of two and a half year approximately. This was the worst time. He almost bled to death. I remember standing in front of his bed waiting for the surgeon to take him away and hopefully stop the bleeding. My entire family was crying and nervous, including more distant family members. I somehow felt very concentrated and present. I wasn't sad at all, nor scared or angry. I just felt... weird. I don't have a bad relationship with my father. Maybe we're not the closest a father and son could get but we get along well and have lots to talk about. So I don't know why I felt so little. I have to mention though, I just broke up with my first ex girlfriend two months ago, and I feel/felt horrible. I loved her very much and I can confirm that I have cried more in the past two months than in the rest of my life combined probably. So yeah, I do have feelings, and she helped me discover them. Too bad she thinks we are too different though. I wish I had talked (even) more openly about my feelings
My friend relationship is so unhealthy I kept telling her break up with that manipulator. But she can’t loose herself from Him. There’s time when they’re about to break up but then they’re getting back together .And the cycle repeats. I’m sick of listening to her complains when her choice is always return to him no matter how bad he treated her.
I'm going through this. I dated this guy for the past 1 month broke up with him few days ago cuz I felt manipulated and he is now doing the cycle thing still trying to do things that we did as if we are in a relationship. Making a small disagreement to turn into a ling conversation of defense and proving myself. But I don't know what to do cuz sometimes I feel guilty for breaking up with him but then again I see the manipulation and that isn't the type of person I want to spend my life with but he is in denial. I don't know what to do although I've broken up with him
I was in a six months relationship like your friend. I finally broke out of it because it escalated to me changing to be manipulative like him and then i started lying for safety which is all wrong. It didn't start as unhealthy..it became unhealthy when he started becoming possessive and controlling over me talking to any other men especially my ex's that I became friends with. He constantly blames me for everything when we fight. I couldn't be who I am and I am constantly depressed. I became so reliant on him emotionally and mentally that if we broke up, I became so lost and hurt then I started blaming myself. I had family and friends supporting me through all of this. You shouldn't give up on helping your friend.
@@AndalaYoo I'm going through that right now and my best friend feels the same way you do. I've been dating this guy for almost 11 months, well we're broken up right now but we're still acting like we're dating if that makes sense. and I keep saying I'm going to end it but everytime I see him I want to stay with him. Anyways, two months ago I realized he's been toxic our entire relationship and that he turned me toxic as well. He isolated me and pressured me and just did the stuff that a toxic person does. My biggest tip is continue letting your friend know you're there for her whatever happens, but keep telling her your opinion and why you feel the way you do. You just gotta remember it's hard for the best friend and it's hard for the person in the relationship too.
@@alyssac.3681 you better break up with him, ignore him, block him and just stay away from him. That’s the best thing you can do just stop it, he Is obviously using you. Better not and know your worth, forget the happy times you had with him. He is not worth it. That’s the thing with these fuck**s they first start off good and take care with you but after a while let’s say 6 Months till 1-3 years they show their true colors. So nope get out of there you are being used im telling you straight how it is.
My ex and I were both guilty of different things. I would definitely say that our love remained intense, and I was jealous. My jealousy worsened after they betrayed my trust and broke an agreement we made. I found out a year into the relationship that they had a porn addiction, which was a big blow. I found out about quite a bit of stuff they were doing behind my back. They lied about a lot, from liking raspberries to something as big as an addiction problem. I was overly generous, making up for the lack of generosity they had. We lacked proper communication. It was sooooo toxic. It's weird looking back and realizing that our relationship was as dysfunctional and damaging as it was, because in the moment I felt so in love with this person, and like I would give and sacrifice anything to make it work. They never really worked as hard as I did to better the relationship. I did the work while they reaped the benefits. No changes they made ever stuck. We aren't good together. It's something I need to remember when I feel like I miss them.
when you realized that you're the one who in the bad side, like literally you did all the 6 negative sides😟 Not everyday i do these but occasionally as I always have trust issue with other people. anw, thanks for the wake-up call :) gonna try to be a better one.
Everytime I panic Everytime I start to panic My mother verbally takes out her rage at me If I still panic She accuses me of crying Crying is not allowed according to her This also makes me cry and then make even more mistakes that she wouldn't approve of Every time she lectures me she says that it's for my own good But she is also saying in a voice telling I'm stupid, useless and I'm in her way Would she secretly wish I were still her punching bag?
This may be hard for you to believe right now, but her abuse has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. She's off in her own little world right now where she thinks your "relationship" with her is about just satisfying her. You deserve better than her treatment, you've always deserved better. You never deserved this hell she's created for a second, and you never will deserve it. You deserve to express your emotions just as much as she or anyone else gets to, and there is nothing wrong with crying, it's not a sign of weakness; in fact, it's a sign of great strength, which says a lot about her "strength". Every time you panic, it's because of the trauma she's putting you through. Her lectures are more than just lectures, it's berating, designed to break your spirit and destroy you so you'll end up being her possession so you'll never leave her side. She wants to do this to you so she'll never be alone, and so she'll have, as you said, her punching bag, someone for her to torture. That's all she wants. And to add insult to injury, she tells you it's for your own good. That's a poisonous, insidious lie. There is nothing good about breaking your spirit. It's one of the most evil things anyone can do to another human being, especially to someone they supposedly "love". I'll even dare to say that she doesn't really love you at all, if she's treating you like this. You are lovable, and you deserve to be around others who will *actually* love you. Blood and last names be damned, it's the heart that really matters. I don't know you or your situation, but I pray for your safety and I hope you have gained some distance from her. Keep dismantling her lies from around your life and draining her poison out of your soul. Like I said, you deserve so much better.
When your in a relationship you are so blinded by love that sometimes you don’t even see when your relationship becomes toxic until you wake you and you don’t feel the same , staying aware of your true self is very important and can save you from risking your mental health
i’m in a perfectly good relationship, and we treat each other really good. we love each other and care for each other a lot. we have some of the things on this list, but my issue is that my traumas have made me clingy and dependent. i’ve always been like that. i do believe our relationship is healthy, though, because rarely anyone is hurt and we are 9 months strong : ) we talk about our concerns in the relationship whenever we have one, and we work to improve it and it rlly helps our relationship. this video scared me at first lmao until i rlly thought about it
Ever since I first saw your videos I’ve been more motivated to improve myself. At first it was for someone I loved. I was so hard on myself that I didn’t see how toxic people were to me. Then I saw more through your videos. It helped me see more clearly on who I am as well. I’ve progressed allot since then and I genuinely wanted to thank you. You people have helped me so much and I can’t express it enough to you. I post your videos around to help other people as well! Please keep doing what you’re doing and helping others understand each other!
i've seen a rising trend in people saying 'oh, if my boyfriend abuses me then they love me enough to show that they're the boss and they care for me'. that isn't love and sadly this is the mentality of many girls and women out there.
I feel like in society and in a heterosexual relationship, men are suppose to be the ‘dominate’ one while woman are suppose to be submissive. So due to this exception and others, that is why abusive is seemed as okay or why woman do not do much about it. Also, I have nothing against individuals part of the LGBT+ community, this is only an example.
I would say it's the opposite when it comes to gender, at least in my country. Here, a lot of men are like this, maybe even most, while women a lot less (but ofc, there are women like that too). A lot of (married) people here are in such unhealthy relationships in which mostly women behave in *at least* 2-3 ways from the video's list, while men think that that's how a woman should be (although they admit such women and their wives are crazy, they still think that's how it's supposed to be). Women here think like that a lot less, although a lot of them also put up with such things. But women (well, people in general) also often aren't aware that they're behaving unhealthy too - not because it's "hard" to be aware, but because they always make excuses for their behaviour, blame it on men, and think they are/should be always right. And as long as men put up with that (and women with such men), I think the majority of people and relationships will be like that. And no person can be a healthy person while remaining in an unhealthy relationship. Ha, I think I've just realized why my nation is so fucked up when it comes to literally everything 🙈
@@Adriana.Gabriela well, for starters, that's a long comment. but i read it all. :) that's true, some men think that women are just meant to be crazy and that if they act abusive or such it's fine. although in my country many women die as a result of men killing them because of jealousy, being overbearing etc. so, i guess if differs from country to country or person to person.
The indicator of having a healthy relationship is when you both can do different things at the same time. But neither of you is being bitter about it because the two of you have space to do other stuff.
But what if the other never does things with you? Or more specifically, stopped doing things with you. Arranges dates, then doesn't show up. Is it wrong to feel bitter when they spend time doing whatever else?
What about when you become the person who is obsessed and jealous all the time? I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to mess up what we have. I don't want to become this monster to him. I love him I really do. He just feels like the only thing that makes me feel alive anymore..
When I was in high school my freshman year my ex friend match made with a guy she used to know from our elementary school but since me and him got together he became so immature and whiney and complainy and it was toxic and then I dated a guy in my junior year he cheated on me an then my senior year my ex and I dated for a year and then 2012 he dumped me after the funeral of my uncle in law I stayed single for a while then 2014 I found myself and I was happy I met new people and then a guy I used to know from college we reconnected again through facebook and then 2015 we had our first date and have been together for 6 years already and never been happier
so.. what im experiencing now is normal. I noticed that guys that court me are manipulators and liars. they lie just to get my sympathy or so i could like them.
@@azula9830 my advice is be careful about which guys you talk to they can be tricky I been there a guy I dated was such a bad boy he went from girl to girl just guys these days has no self respect
In my past relationahip, I always had the feeling our love wasn't healthy enough.. After the breakup this feeling just vanished and I wanted to go back again. Thank you for the reminder. You made this a lot easier. :)
Sigh. Two and a half years I went through those! And after my partner left I struggle to cope and I'm still struggling even now I'm watching this. Sigh I don't believe in love again! My eyes twitches every time I hear people say "I love you" in an intimate way! Even from movies and other videos!
I had a boyfriend who did all of these and i broke it off with him and i dont regret it, now im feeling way better without him. Stay safe and much love
I didn’t realize I was in an unhealthy relationship until my friends sat me down and really helped me open my eyes. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t know what could have happened to me and my mental health. I am grateful for them looking out for me and caring so much for me
I never really knew what the toxicity of my last relationship actually was and I broke down crying when watching this video because my ex did all these things to me when we were in a relationship. now I’m in love with the most wonderful guy ever. i finally know what love really means and I don’t want to lose it :) thank you so much ❤️
*✨🌸Quote Of The Day!🌸✨* “ ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” -Alfred, Lord Tennyson *Reminder:* You are beautiful. You are loved. You are worth it. Don’t ever doubt that! 💘💜💗💙💖💛 I love you! Have an amazing day 🥺 🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨
No it isnt....... Not everyone is a beautiful special snowflake. Better to be pragmatic than fall around believing your super special and amazing. Billions of people on this planet. No way all of them are special, if everyone is special it defeats the purpose of the word special. Make sense?
This! The emotional damage is real and will take possible years to get over. Not all relationships are saveable unfortunately. Cut losses and move forward, or prepare for a miserable existence. Love yourself! 🙂
Lately I’ve been fearing that I’m becoming a very toxic person. I’ve had a crush on someone for a very long time, and I think for a while I sort of was under the impression that we were kind of dating. Even a lot of our friends were confused when I said that we weren’t. But despite that, or maybe because of it, I still feel very insecure about my crush. Whenever I see them talk to someone who isn’t me; having fun or enjoying something when I’m not involved; being kind and attentive to other people; not responding to my constant messages or attempts to hang out; or when I’m not the only person they reach out to for support or to talk about stuff, I feel very hurt. As if it’s their responsibility to manage all of my own emotional baggage or to prop me up as this supremely important person in their life. Lately I’ve been improving a bit I think and I’m starting to assimilate the concept of independence and respecting boundaries. This video also really helped a lot with internalizing my feelings and helping to parse them a bit so I can figure out how to address them. I appreciate it a lot.
Thank you for this video. I didn't realize how toxic my codependency had truly become.. and I truly care about my partner. I have been working on this and improving. This was just the reminder I needed at the perfect time.
Trying really hard to get over an unhealthy relationship. I have to constantly keep reminding myself about all the unhealthy aspects of it to not run back to him but it is so damn hard because I love him eventhough I know we're not right for each other
I've been in a relationship for over 3 months now , everything went from 0 to 100 and I love it 🥰 we're very clingy and look out for eachother but that's because of past trauma and heart break , we love eachothers company more than anything 🥰🥰 (I love u Kayleigh , thank you so much for loving me back 🥰)
I really want to major in psych but my parents trashed that idea believing that I won’t get a job and think it’s useless. After that I wasn’t sure what I wanted and ended up choosing a major idek if I want and they’re saying how it’s my fault and that I’m wasting their money. That invalidity led me to watch your vids in order to deal with the gaslighting and emotional abuse at home. Thank you for uploading these videos! They really make me feel better.
I really love watching your videos to know or to get an idea that I was not in the wrong. My last relationship with a girl turned sour quickly after I cheated on her, I do regret and that’s on me, before that she would guard me from my phone and only want to cuddle when we hang out together. She would argue with me about playing on my computer when she is over; she stayed over for 12 hours a day, 4 days a week. She would hit me enough to hurt me mentally, making me feel bad. She only wanted me, and with that she put me into an isolation, I fell deeper into my depression. I never hung out with friends. With me falling into depression, she started to get depressed. But once I was happy, she was happy; which I see as normal, but sometimes I can’t control when I have a breakdown or an anxiety attack or just a general episode of some sort. That’s when she started to become depressed everyday, after we ended it she was happy. It’s like she faked it, but she was depressed in our relationship. I feel so lonely and still think of the idea of cuddling her. 😔
This literally describes what I tried to teach my partner in my first serious relationship, but he took the unhealthy route. Thank you guys for making such helpful content. 😊
I spend 11 months in an unhealthy relationship...thank god I'm out of it and now I can focus on myself and learn from what when wrong so I can put to practice the fixed mistakes and develop a healthy relationship with myself and my future partner. Thank you for this video!
Man, I actually never realized that I was experiencing unhealthy love. I was in a relationship for almost a year and a half. Things went upside down when I started high school(was a freshman now a sophomore). I can relate with numbers 2, 3 and part of 1 & 6. Mainly numbers 2 and 3. I had to end the my relationship with my ex-boyfriend because of his controlling/obsessive/overprotective behavior. The worst part that he was so sweet to me but he didn't like my closest friends. But I felt I had a disadvantage because I have a sweet nature around people that I get along with. Now my ex hates me and saying that I cheated on him for my online best friend. I didn't cheat on him and I had fights with him, via text, that would get me into tears. But I also sometimes feel he didn't care how I felt when I wasn't seen a close friend. I tried telling him but it seems it didn't work. I just hope I hope I find someone better than him.
Just realized two months ago that my current relationship is mostly this jealousy monster & not love. This video hit on everything that I have just realized it’s been happening for years
Yea I’m the unhealthy one...I get so anxious and forget that I’m also affecting him. I never want to hurt him or make him feel bad again. I’m all of these to a certain extent like I’ve done them at least once. We’re long distance, so it’s reaaallly hard. There’s just so many things that stem from my own insecurities and anxiety. As of right now, we’re on a break for the rest of the summer. I don’t think we’re completely unhealthy, but we definitely need to work on some things together and individually. This video’s helped me realize that I need to let the relationship stabilize. Omg...theres so much I wanna say but don’t know how to say it...I messed up
Some of these can actually still happen in different types of relationships. Manipulation being the biggest example. A lot of unhealthy relationships including abusive ones between family members involve manipulation. I can give you a personal example: my mom gives gifts to my sisters and I with the expectation that she would get us to only love her and nobody else simply because she gave us life. A loving parent should never hold you back and do what's best for you. In this case, my mom says that if we loved her, we would stay in her life and serve her back when she's older just like she did when we were children. The point is, manipulation can be tricky to notice when someone who is supposed to be really close to you and is supposed to nurture you does it.
@@carolinacoreas7716 she says if you love her you have to serve her that's not love in my eyes you look after eachother obviously my mom used to hurt me physically and mentally I'm now on medication for my illness I was abused in the worst way to so I struggle even meeting people now
@@keiron.4612 I somewhat understand you. I may not have gone through what you have, but I can share a similar sentiment. My mom is codependent and possibly a narcissist, manipulation is her whole game. She's always the victim and it's always about her. I'm still struggling to cope with my anxiety and I recently had a depressive episode. I barely got a sense of self by the time I was a sophomore in high school. I always felt like she was in control of my life. I struggle to remember that now I can have control of my own life and that I should try to not let her manipulate me again. I haven't gotten the proper help yet, but I'm aching to just finally start healing. I try to love her but she makes it so hard when she's the one who hurts me and she pushes me away when I try to make her feel better about herself. I know she's the only one who can change herself, but I wish she'd finally find a purpose so that she can heal herself and grow more independent. I know deep down, she hates herself, but at this point, there's not much I can do to help. I like sharing my story with others because I hope that telling it can help others suffering to find help and to take action on separating themselves from the toxic person. I sometimes think that I'm just being selfish with how much I talk about my experience and I'm always scared I'm going to turn out like my mom.
Yes, I appreciate it very much I just got out of a narcissist and abusive relationship and I'm not ever wanting to find another person like that. Thank you for the education on this.
True. In fact, this could be elaborated so much more. There is a list of normalised unhealthy behaviors in the name of love, and an underrated list of behaviors that resemble deep, real, true, consistent love.
For me, the "jealousy" and "possessiveness" is due to having bad previous relationships and having been cheated on, used and abused, etc. Thankfully my love and I always talk things through and I've explained why I feel the way I do when it comes to certain things and he's been so understanding and supportive! The constant checking in is due to me having separation anxiety because I hate being apart and I'm always worried for his safety. I have a deep, paralyzing fear that I'll never see him again if I don't hear from him after a while. So he's been very sweet about that too and always texts me whenever he has time at work and such :) when it comes to things like running errands he always asks if I want to come along because he knows it makes me feel better when I can just be with him. It may sound weird, but I feel like he won't be safe unless I'm with him. :)
I want to say thank you. Thank you so much. My partner left me on Wednesday, and he was all of these negative aspects, and I didn't see it. Honestly, thank you so much!
Well. I tried to have a relationship with a girl once. Deep down, she was someone I truly wanted. I had never met a person like her before and she almost reminded me of myself in a way. This date I’m commenting on is a bit special to me with that relationship 1 year ago. I had obsessed over her at school for a long time before and just knew I had to talk to her somehow. About a year ago, I tracked down her social media and managed to talk to her. We had a relatively decent friendship going and I really wanted to be a good friend to her. However, a few things made it go south in less than 2 months. My obsession never stabilized with her and I accidentally shared way too many depressing thoughts I had to her. This caused her to get upset. Then she found out about my obsession with her and it completely creeped her out. Plus there is a bit of an age gap between us that also made her uncomfortable. I honestly feel really bad about it still to this day and wish it never would’ve went down that way. I really just wanted a friend as I have been rather lonely my whole life. But my obsession got in the way and made me have an unhealthy love for her. I was not sexually into her, it was mainly her personality I was chasing. I still have to admit my obsession was crazy. It honestly still is all this time later. I don’t know how I can get over the obsession, but I am really sorry for what I did.
It is OK. I can relate to this, somewhat. I could never talk to her in details and after school was over and we parted to go on our different ways. I have neither seen her nor talked to her in 5 years! I try to reason with myself that it was probably just a silly crush and I have forgotten about her but the reality is that it still hurts. I never got a chance to stabilise my feelings because I was stupid to not steer the conversation in that direction when I had the chance. I am sure that you will be able to stabilise your emotions for this girl if ever she has a conversation with you because you have learnt from your mistake.
@@thetechnocrat4979 well. Here is the thing. She wants absolutely nothing to do with me at all. Recently she found out I was viewing her account and she accused me of being a pedophile when that has nothing to do with it. When that happened, I told her that I was really working on changing, but she just told me to get out. When that happened, it made me feel really bad inside.
@@weatheronthe8s895 Well, that is sad. She is not ready to open her eyes yet. I don't know what to say bro. The situation might play and mould itself, maybe. For now, I would suggest that don't make any direct or indirect contact with her. Maybe, with time and distance, she will be able to reflect on the situation with a new perspective.
80% of the people here in the Philippines confuse love and romance by idealizing it. People love love and often disregard the importance of compatibility and chemistry. This video could do a lot of them a lot of good.
Assuming your partner is "good enough" as long as you try to understand them, make them feel comfortable in sharing their feelings and making them feel heard and validating their emotions shows that you're going in the right direction... I'm happy that I understand this now... It's sometimes scary not knowing how you can be a good partner to someone, sometimes over focusing on some unimportant or even unhealthy stuff and on the other hand forgetting some mundane and obvious stuff like making your partner feel heard... In those situations you can put a lot of effort, but since it is in the wrong areas, you won't see as much of a result as you anticipated and it can become really frustrating... Ending everything tragically Thank you Psych2go
Relationships are toxic in general.... being hurt by them, I think I’m better off being single. My relationships with all my previous ex’s...they’ve been one sided and it hurts. Me trying to be ready and grown for a relationship, with one of my friends and they have moved on. I learned...at my pace, I’m not destined for love. I’m okay with that, all my relationships in the end prefer my.... “help” and after, being angry with me that I didn’t attend their needs, that they are toxic and not the love they can have, which is a unconditional love anyone would want. But see me as the bad person...not them. So I don’t know if loving a fantasy land is more better then real love. But wonderful videos as always, keep up the great work
I have relationship-based anxiety. For me, I need to be extra careful with the possessiveness aspects and I have learned to manage my boundaries and understand others. However, there are some things I especially stuggle with when it comes to romantic relationships. Often, I realize, these can at best be percieved as overdramatic or at worst gasloghting or manipulating, when it is just my own insecurity leading me down thought paths and actions that may not be the most logical. Is there anyway you guys could give some tips to those of us who struggle with relationship-based anxieties? For me, it's not that I don't trust the person I'm with, I'm so insecure with myself and am certain that I see repeating patterns of abandonment when that isn't always the case. I'd also enjoy a video talking about how to discuss boundary settings with a romantic partner.
Your partner is the most common tought on your head, so if you have anxiety that is unrelated to your relationship you can be associating to your partner since is the person you think constantly, dont confuse it, Be self-aware, honest with your partner and highly communicative, even when you feel hurt for no reason, dont ignore it, tell to your partner, let them ackowledge it. Go trought your boundaries, long-term expectations, also ask about your partner boundaries and long-term expectations, if your partner aligns with it, nice, otherwise you can request them to sacrifice and change, if they refuse you simply cant do much besides going your separate way. I have the same problem, but in much smaller scale, especially since i'm going trought my first relationship, it's hard, but with lots of love and communication you can start trusting and being more open with your partner. seek therapy.
Yep, describes a lot of my relationships in my family on both sides. Both sides were very into the “forgive and forget” approach to “Christian love” which translates into “screaming the devil away” and other methods of abuse justified in this kind of “love”. I see what it is now though, generations of hurt people in turn hurting people because that’s all they know and every now and then someone gave in and started actively adding to everyone’s misery. I’ve forgiven the ones that hurt out of hurt, and the ones that intentionally added, I don’t talk to or acknowledge anymore. Thank you for making these videos, creators like you are helping millions for the better one vid at a time.
Favour needed! Psych2Go's mission has always been to make psychology and mental health topics more accessible for the public, but lately, with the Covid-19 situation, it has been harder to remind people of the importance of mental health. Hence, our videos haven't been reaching that many people. If you have a chance, and you find our content helpful, could you help share one of our videos on your social platform? If you did, let us know so we can thank you! Have a good day!
Psych2Go Thank you 💜 we are in this together 💜✋
@Aaron castellanos Have you heard about conduct disorder? There might be some link there to later antisocial personality disorder traits. However, only a professional can truly make a diagnosis. Hope that helps!
Aaron castellanos ? If you need help with anything you can talk to me. What’s up?
I will try!
Vicky's the name 💜✋
“A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams, your values, or your dignity.”
Healthy relationships should be an extra amazing thing life can bring, not something you have to 'pay for'. Therefore, I absolutely agree with you!
cough andy’s boyfriend in the devil wears prada
Online Life Guide - Deep Personal Development Me: Ha what dignity 😂
Of course it’s always equality,balance,independence and patience
I wonder if I deserve love because I'm the one who always made it unhealthy. I've always wanted to change to be better but it's hard, I don't know why I'm like this, so impulsive :'(
There's a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of them
So true!
Exacly! It's like being in love with everything that person could be. 🤔
Couldn't have said it better myself
Agree
I realized this a short while ago with my friend. And its not i didnt love them or ment to hurt them but i did foucs on the idea of them. But i didnt mean to have a unhealthy relationship. I just knew they could be happier and healthier than they were. And i just wanted to help them achive the best version of them bc i love them. but i was more controlling and nagging than caring. I kept thinking that saying " treat others how you want to be treated." I kept thinking " treat me like I treat you."
I read something online where it says: healthy love makes you fall inlove with yourself while unhealthy love makes you the opposite.
Nice
So which one is good?
@@iamdoctorcat6347 when you have a healthy love that's mean ur mind is quiet u focus on your self take care of your self u know what is your value. Unhealthy love makes you sad crying just focus and more follow the person for fix the problem. That's mean u don't love ur self
I get it. I fell so out of love with myself because I stayed in relstioshop for too long.
Wow! That summarizes my current relationship. I have never heard something so beautiful ❤
Differences
1. Intensity vs Stability
2. Isolation vs Independence
3. Concern vs Jealousy
4. Teasing vs Belittling
5. Generosity vs Manipulation
6. Honesty vs Volatility
Thanks for putting this together. Did we miss any?
Matt Harvey Ostulano thank you for sharing this 💜
thank you!!
@@Psych2go I don't know how to put this into a single word each, but "Wanting love for the right/wrong reasons." I've never been in-love, and I don't know how to determine what signs I should follow versus which I should avoid; I've never felt "attracted" to someone, and the only "jealousy" I've felt is that people all around me are in-love and I can't seem to have a relationship like that. I love the people around me, but not in a romantic way; so, I know I can "love," but I've never had any sort of "romantic love."
Gabriel French same.
After a string of toxic relationships, I’m in a healthy, mature relationship and scared as 💩 that I’m going to mess it up because I literally am not used to a man like him! 😭
Over time, you'll feel more comfortable with having him as your partner. It definitely takes time for things to fall in place and at first it may seem like you don't deserve it, but it's up to you to catch yourself before you self-sabotage and it's up to him to make you a more confident person. It's a bit of the point of dating someone, you help each other grow into better people not just for each other, but for yourself as well. They are great partners when they make you feel like you can do anything you want on your own and you don't need them to make decisions for you and to help you all the time. If it ever turns out bad and y'all split up, you would have your time to mourn, but then you'd be able to get back up again and become independent. Having them is kind of like having a person to share your great experiences with. They should never be the person you heavily depend on to complete you.
I feel the same in my relationship too so I can emphasise with you. Just remember that no matter how awful things were in the past, it's no longer like that now in the present. I hope that your relationship is filled with happiness, love and excitement :)
i'm so happy for you! please remember that you wholly deserve this. i hope it works out well for you!
Try your hardest to continually be intimate , honest and steadfast. Please do not sabotage the goodness you’ve been blissed with because of your past. Grant you the best love.💚✨
Just remember to communicate that with him. Good luck :)
The narrator's voice makes me feel like a small kid who needs a sweater and hot chocolate
It is one of the most relaxing voice on yt
This reminded me of when Spongebob wanted a sweater with love in every stitch from his grandma haha
@@dariancomsa7204 🤓
Indeed, and i think that's brilliant as most of our relationship problems comes from childhood.
Soo true!
So hard to tell the difference between a relationship that needs work and a toxic one. Smh 🤦🏾♀️
That should be a video on here! Because God knows I've been needing it
Especially when you have anxiety
Girl look up Tony Gaskins. He lays it all out!!
This can help u understand,ua-cam.com/video/C_MhLIvvHFk/v-deo.html
All modern relationships are toxic.
I often think to myself: Am I too selfish? Should I be selfish sometimes? Is it okay to care more about my own well being than I give a shit about other people? What’s the point of trying to keep someone else happy if I’m not? Self respect to me is very important.
As it should be
As long as the person treats you like a decent human being thats enough. A decent human being treats people decently. You are not responsible for people’s happiness. And give only what you can freely give without feeling bitter when you do not get in return. This is not a transaction. Especially love
Been there myself. Often I get into disagreements with family members over it, where I'm being critiqued for putting my own feelings in certain situations first, namely in issues involving my mental health. I've already figured out I have toxic family members, but what they do still isn't right.
Too late for me buddy, I already given her everything from my soul to my very own little heart...
Never give the girl too much or else you’ll just become her sugar daddy. And women don’t fuck guys who are too nice to them lol. I learned all that about women. You have to let the girl know that you love yourself before you love her. That’s self respect.
I just want to put this out here.
I was in an 8 years relationship.
For the first four years, our relationship was under the healthy love category, I gave him lots of freedom, love, support and concern.
However, into the fifth year I found out that he cheated on me emotionally and hide it from me for years.
I tried to communicate with him and work it out with him. However, it didn't work and he repeated his infidelity.
What I should have done was just leave him...but I didn't.
What happened next was the healthy habits I used to have in the relationship went unhealthy.
After watching this video, I realised I went into the toxic category.... he couldn't stop cheating on me and couldn't stand me controlling him, so he left.
What I should have realised earlier was, he just did not love me anymore.
I shouldn't have become toxic just so I could let him stay in my life, it just wasn't healthy.
I am trying my best to change, although I feel like I can't go back to how I was in the beginning.
I hope someday I would improve....
You definitely will improve because you have learned the lesson. Let them go when you realize they dont love you no more. Dont be hard on yourself, you will get through this and heal, I wish you luck and much love,💯💖
I wonder if he ever gave you the same freedom, love, support and concern.
Or if he just treated you like shit from the beginning while you did all the efforts and did your best being understanding.
Only being stepped on because being too gentle.
I am in relationship 7 yrs and every year , day, weeks he cheated on me bt i dont leave him .. im scared i need help .. im in a unhealthy relationship ..
@@lovelylove6193 Thank you so much I am still learning everyday, grateful for your words 💕💕
@@FocusedFighter777 He treated me very well in the beginning, it wasn't until that day when I realised he was living a double life, that's why it is so hard for me to trust anyone now but I believe one day I can. :)
Me, a freshman in highschool wanting to become a therapist later on in life:
Psych2go: all the info you need to get basic knowledge of mental health
Smiley The Hand literally same it’s great.
Ya its awsome
I wanna be a therapist too :)
Phych2go actually helped me to see what kind of doctor i wanna bee
I want to be a psychiatrist or a therapist and this channel does help alot :)
Giving to get IS wrong. However...
When you constantly give and the other does nothing for you?
That's a different story.
The latter literally sounds like my relationship with most of my friends, that's why I don't even consider them friends but make like acquaintances at this point.
@Willy Wonka .....woah.....
Thank you..
I was afraid of ppl getting used through overly following this to try and be "perfect"
My ex girlfriend used to do so much for me. She was always the one making decisions of where to go and what to do. She was the one giving me hugs and kisses and other means of affection. I noticed that over time she started doing that less. I wondered why, but never realised that I had the ability to do something about that. I could hold her and kiss her right there in the rain. I wanted to, but I didn't. I didn't because I feared that maybe she wouldn't like it. She seemed annoyed by the rain so I thought that she must not be interested. But what I learned now, is that sometimes, your partner wants things that they don't even know they want. Sometimes I had to take initiative and show her that I care about her. Big mistake to not do that. She is an amazing first girlfriend. A person who always works so hard for everyone around her, constantly striving to help people and make the world a better place. She gave me so much love yet I failed to give it back to her. I tried, but by doing the most inefficient things that would really only make her happy for a moment. Presents that took months to prepare, or dates that I was planning in my head, but never happened because I couldn't get it to be perfect. I regret not doing so many things. I lived in a fantasy in my head of all that we could be. I never realised this, until we weren't anything anymore.
@@luc6284 that's how my bf was... I just gave up because I felt like he didn't care anymore, after I left that's when he showed some signs of affection, but ended replacing me in a week {well he's trying to move on).
Yet, he still dreams about me and can't get me out of his head yet he "likes" the other girl....(idk.. The whole situation made me question why I lowered my standards when he wasn't even my type or worked so hard for nothing).
I want to move on but, everytime I do he comes right back🤦🏻♀️,
Communication is nothing without comprehension. I tried "communicating " with someone about a couple things from my past, there was no comprehension on their part of what I said and they took it to the most extreme scenario that entered their mind. Do not underestimate that!
Love that you must be a Gemini ♊ 😏
Yup, just got out of an relationship just like that. My ex would always discuss whether our relationship was “the right choice” if I brought up how I felt. We broke up once, after the second time I said don’t come back because I’m tired of being hurt. It’s amazing how you can be so good to someone and they don’t even realize how they make you feel.
@@maggied.3303 yea that describes it pretty good
You don't deserve someone who comes back. You deserve someone who never leaves. 💔
This sounds like manipulation to me. Maybe I’m overthinking it
The one who comback became the one who never leave. The one who never leave became the one who always comeback. Boom. 😩🤯
As long as boundaries are respected
For anyone reading this, if you are in a relationship that has one of the aspects of negative love, it doesn’t always mean it’s just a bad relationship and that it needs to end. Obviously, it depends on the extremity, however, many relationships can start out fine and become unhealthy. What it takes is for you and your partner to realize it has become unhealthy and take steps to stop the unhealthy behaviour. Sometimes things just don’t work out, and people cross the line and constantly fluctuating between extremes is emotionally overwhelming and unhealthy. But other times people aren’t aware of what they are doing to hurt you and an important sign of a healthy relationship (as the last tip mentioned) is that you can tell this person what they did or what you think is an issue and they (or you) genuinely apologize and work to change.
ty! i will one day cut them out of my life if that even happends!
I was in a relationship recently and when I brought up things I was feeling hurt by or drained by, as it was very one sided i would always get an apology and listen to her reasons why to better understand her. There was just never action put towards bettering the relationship, no action behind the apology, I brought up feeling like I wasnt a priority several times and the behaviors that led to that never changed, and most of the time whenever I did bring something up it was mostly me just listening to and comforting her which I wanted to do because I loved and cared for her but at some point I realized everytime I had something going on when I needed to be comforted she always made it about her by bringing up her stuff without listening, or passively just not being there for me after saying she could be there for me in those moments.
Thanks for this beautiful reminder! ❤️
But I do think all the relationships take work.
Also the ones with your family and friends.
Not only the one with the person you love or like.
Just, wanted to say this 😊
Bruh, intensity vs stability is sooo important. Stability might seem boring, but it lasts, friendo. It's true that there is usually an intensity at the beginning, but intensity won't make your relationship last.
Love the stability more to be honest. The intensity can get too overwhelming
Loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things.
what's the difference
@@piadylan1207 Loving someone: giving love to the other person because you appreciate them. You like to make them happy (it also makes you happy), you want what's best for them, want to protect them, cherishing them for who they are (flaws and all) etc.
Being in love: is more about what you want. How you see them, what you want them to be for YOU. Always for you, more selfish than loving THEM.
There is also differences between lust and love. Most people think they are in love when really it's just lust.
@@FocusedFighter777 lol sorry but, what about the difference between lust and love thenn
@@FocusedFighter777 lust is a little harsh word to say but I got you,good point
@Focused Fighter Either it's a relative term, or one of us is dead wrong, because have a completely different definition for the two. Case in point: My current 19 yr relationship. We were together for 9 yrs the first go-round (7 yrs my senior; I was 19 when we began). We split up for 4 yrs in 2013. During that time period, we both had a strong love for one another, but somehow lost our will to hold on to our relationship. Fast forward to 2017, we started talking again (keep in mind, we stayed in contact during the 4 yrs, but never got in any other relationships; just flings on his part). We completely rediscovered what truly being IN LOVE felt like, and have been together ever since. For both of us (not just one "teaching" the other), we felt the difference between loving one another during that entire first relationship and all through the 4 yrs, and falling back IN LOVE with one another. It's a more intense, relationship focused love VS the friendship kind of love we carried with us during the separation, or simply just deeply loving that person, but not in an intense lovers kind of way. All in all, we both feel being IN LOVE is a more focused, relationship kind of love. I imagine the same is true for any couple that divorces/separates after a long period of time. You never stop loving them, as you would your own family; it's just a feeling of not being IN love. Make sense? Probably not. 😂
Tfw when your parents' relationship checks off all the unhealthy boxes
same
I can relate. My mum knows she's in a bad relationship with my father but she refuses to do something about it. Same with dad, he claims that's just how it is and it's all my mums fault (even though he starts the conflict the majority of times and gets very abusive toward me and her)
I hope you find the way out of it and stay safe 🙏
Totally all ...but it's nearly fine cause they are divorced since I was 9 hhh
Nicola maybe there's nothing to do at this situation but I think you have to do whatever you can before your family get more complicated and then you'll regret that you hadn't show them that they have to fix their problems for you ... you deserve to have a good family❤
unhealthy love is when you fell in love with a bag of potato chips
I’ve had that unhealthy love before
Or pinksteven universe from steven universe future.
I like that kind of love tho
I've been called out
Lol same!
6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Love:
Healthy love is where your SO still talks to you, but they understand the importance of social distancing.
Very true. lol
6 differences between healthy and unhealthy love:
1. 0:59 intensity vs. stability
2.1:54 isolation vs. independence
3. 2:39 concern vs. jealousy
4. 3:35 teasing vs. belittling
5. 4:28 generosity vs.manipulation
6 5:23 honesty vs. volatility
happy to help! :)
Not all heroes wear cape
“What is love?”
*Baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me, no more!*
I don’t know, what can I do, what else can I say, it’s up to you..
I could hear the beatdrop in my head 😂
Healthy love: Victor Krum for Hermione Granger
Unhealthy love: Severus Snape for Lily Potter
The Sass Cat I JUST CLIKED THIS VIDEO TO PROVE SNILY WAS UNHEALTHY!!!
People constantly say that Snape deserved Lily, yet he wanted to join a group devoted to killing people like her. Smh
Marie ᶘ oᴥoᶅ THIS!
I don't think Victor/Hermione is all too perfect, their chemistry is seen in the movie and read in the books as not quite matching up. Cute couple though.
I think Snape deserved a happier childhood and love in his life. It's obvious that some of it shaped his choices into joining a bad group of people. Plus, although it's been a while since I've read the books, he was a double agent no?
Ah but not to say that Victor/Hermione wasn't unhealthy tho
1) Become focused in Stability and feeling “Euphoric” 2)Avoid wanting to be the only source of happiness 3)Avoid Possessiveness & becoming jealous 4)Dont cross the line when joking and becoming insulting 5) Give with no strings attached 6)Open and Honesty about your feelings without using them against your partner
to whoever needs to see this, i promise it gets better. I love you and believe in you!💖💖
Aww love u too sis❤❤good things take time:)....
TY ...thought the feeling dissipated. Nope, woke up ...still there.
ty and you to! 💕
No it doesn't...... don't lie to the poor people.
I'm in a good relationship.
:)
I finally realize that my mother and father never had a healthy marriage-wow
How do you feel after realizing this?
To be honest, I don't feel anything emotional about it? I don't have the courage to self diagnose since I feel like I'm being dramatic and I think I exaggerate the situation than its actual intensity. I just don't like drawing my own conclusions when i don't really understand what's happening.
I've lived with the fact that I tend to have a lack of emotional response to the people I have a close connection to. I know I'm supposed to feel bad about it but I just don't. I'm still trying to figure out that problem of mine.
@shortbirb Yeah, same. It's like my emotions were turned off when I found it these kind of things about people that matter for me.
@@reiisn.8806 that sounds strangely familiar. My father was in the hospital about five years ago. It was his third intestinal bleeding he had over the course of two and a half year approximately. This was the worst time. He almost bled to death. I remember standing in front of his bed waiting for the surgeon to take him away and hopefully stop the bleeding. My entire family was crying and nervous, including more distant family members. I somehow felt very concentrated and present. I wasn't sad at all, nor scared or angry. I just felt... weird. I don't have a bad relationship with my father. Maybe we're not the closest a father and son could get but we get along well and have lots to talk about. So I don't know why I felt so little. I have to mention though, I just broke up with my first ex girlfriend two months ago, and I feel/felt horrible. I loved her very much and I can confirm that I have cried more in the past two months than in the rest of my life combined probably. So yeah, I do have feelings, and she helped me discover them. Too bad she thinks we are too different though. I wish I had talked (even) more openly about my feelings
Same they have such an unhealthy marriage it’s literally disgusting, him over her and her being his little slave....🧐
My friend relationship is so unhealthy I kept telling her break up with that manipulator. But she can’t loose herself from Him. There’s time when they’re about to break up but then they’re getting back together .And the cycle repeats. I’m sick of listening to her complains when her choice is always return to him no matter how bad he treated her.
I'm going through this. I dated this guy for the past 1 month broke up with him few days ago cuz I felt manipulated and he is now doing the cycle thing still trying to do things that we did as if we are in a relationship. Making a small disagreement to turn into a ling conversation of defense and proving myself. But I don't know what to do cuz sometimes I feel guilty for breaking up with him but then again I see the manipulation and that isn't the type of person I want to spend my life with but he is in denial. I don't know what to do although I've broken up with him
I was in a six months relationship like your friend. I finally broke out of it because it escalated to me changing to be manipulative like him and then i started lying for safety which is all wrong. It didn't start as unhealthy..it became unhealthy when he started becoming possessive and controlling over me talking to any other men especially my ex's that I became friends with. He constantly blames me for everything when we fight. I couldn't be who I am and I am constantly depressed. I became so reliant on him emotionally and mentally that if we broke up, I became so lost and hurt then I started blaming myself. I had family and friends supporting me through all of this. You shouldn't give up on helping your friend.
@@AndalaYoo I'm going through that right now and my best friend feels the same way you do. I've been dating this guy for almost 11 months, well we're broken up right now but we're still acting like we're dating if that makes sense. and I keep saying I'm going to end it but everytime I see him I want to stay with him. Anyways, two months ago I realized he's been toxic our entire relationship and that he turned me toxic as well. He isolated me and pressured me and just did the stuff that a toxic person does. My biggest tip is continue letting your friend know you're there for her whatever happens, but keep telling her your opinion and why you feel the way you do. You just gotta remember it's hard for the best friend and it's hard for the person in the relationship too.
@@alyssac.3681 you better break up with him, ignore him, block him and just stay away from him. That’s the best thing you can do just stop it, he Is obviously using you. Better not and know your worth, forget the happy times you had with him. He is not worth it. That’s the thing with these fuck**s they first start off good and take care with you but after a while let’s say 6 Months till 1-3 years they show their true colors. So nope get out of there you are being used im telling you straight how it is.
My ex and I were both guilty of different things. I would definitely say that our love remained intense, and I was jealous. My jealousy worsened after they betrayed my trust and broke an agreement we made. I found out a year into the relationship that they had a porn addiction, which was a big blow. I found out about quite a bit of stuff they were doing behind my back. They lied about a lot, from liking raspberries to something as big as an addiction problem. I was overly generous, making up for the lack of generosity they had. We lacked proper communication. It was sooooo toxic. It's weird looking back and realizing that our relationship was as dysfunctional and damaging as it was, because in the moment I felt so in love with this person, and like I would give and sacrifice anything to make it work. They never really worked as hard as I did to better the relationship. I did the work while they reaped the benefits. No changes they made ever stuck. We aren't good together. It's something I need to remember when I feel like I miss them.
I was in an unhealthy love for long time. Ended a month ago and I'm blessed with peace now.
Yes this helped me understand,ua-cam.com/video/C_MhLIvvHFk/v-deo.html
when you realized that you're the one who in the bad side, like literally you did all the 6 negative sides😟 Not everyday i do these but occasionally as I always have trust issue with other people. anw, thanks for the wake-up call :) gonna try to be a better one.
Same
same
Same
Same
same
Everytime I panic
Everytime I start to panic
My mother verbally takes out her rage at me
If I still panic
She accuses me of crying
Crying is not allowed according to her
This also makes me cry and then make even more mistakes that she wouldn't approve of
Every time she lectures me she says that it's for my own good
But she is also saying in a voice telling I'm stupid, useless and I'm in her way
Would she secretly wish I were still her punching bag?
No one deserves to be told they are useless, it isn't your fault that you are treated like that.
This may be hard for you to believe right now, but her abuse has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. She's off in her own little world right now where she thinks your "relationship" with her is about just satisfying her. You deserve better than her treatment, you've always deserved better. You never deserved this hell she's created for a second, and you never will deserve it. You deserve to express your emotions just as much as she or anyone else gets to, and there is nothing wrong with crying, it's not a sign of weakness; in fact, it's a sign of great strength, which says a lot about her "strength". Every time you panic, it's because of the trauma she's putting you through. Her lectures are more than just lectures, it's berating, designed to break your spirit and destroy you so you'll end up being her possession so you'll never leave her side. She wants to do this to you so she'll never be alone, and so she'll have, as you said, her punching bag, someone for her to torture. That's all she wants. And to add insult to injury, she tells you it's for your own good. That's a poisonous, insidious lie. There is nothing good about breaking your spirit. It's one of the most evil things anyone can do to another human being, especially to someone they supposedly "love". I'll even dare to say that she doesn't really love you at all, if she's treating you like this. You are lovable, and you deserve to be around others who will *actually* love you. Blood and last names be damned, it's the heart that really matters. I don't know you or your situation, but I pray for your safety and I hope you have gained some distance from her. Keep dismantling her lies from around your life and draining her poison out of your soul. Like I said, you deserve so much better.
@@AishaVonFossen Exactly
this is way to relatable
She is a toxic narcissistic woman and I grant you much healing, peace and love. Check out their videos, I’m sure they have some on abusive parents. 💚✨
When your in a relationship you are so blinded by love that sometimes you don’t even see when your relationship becomes toxic until you wake you and you don’t feel the same , staying aware of your true self is very important and can save you from risking your mental health
i’m in a perfectly good relationship, and we treat each other really good. we love each other and care for each other a lot. we have some of the things on this list, but my issue is that my traumas have made me clingy and dependent. i’ve always been like that. i do believe our relationship is healthy, though, because rarely anyone is hurt and we are 9 months strong : ) we talk about our concerns in the relationship whenever we have one, and we work to improve it and it rlly helps our relationship. this video scared me at first lmao until i rlly thought about it
Look into codependency issues
hey, progress isn't linear so if you are going though a rough patch, be compassionate to yourself
Unhealthy relationships make rules to control, healthy relationships set boundaries that harbor mutual respect
Yes. This is a reflection of my failed relationship. We both loved each other deeply, but our relationship was built on an unhealthy foundation.
I CAME AS FASTER THEN ME LEAVING MY ABUSIVE EX-GIRLFRIEND
*and I oop*
👁👄👁
Lol same
Doodle Milk
But are you lesbian?
Doodle Milk same here but with an abusive manipulative liar and cheater and energy draining ex boyfriend 😷
This is a great example of how I learn from you.. I didn't even have a clue with the difference..that is until today 😊. I thank you.. again😊
Need .. stability, independence,concern,teasing, generosity,honesty n loyalty...❤😊🎉
Ever since I first saw your videos I’ve been more motivated to improve myself. At first it was for someone I loved. I was so hard on myself that I didn’t see how toxic people were to me. Then I saw more through your videos. It helped me see more clearly on who I am as well. I’ve progressed allot since then and I genuinely wanted to thank you. You people have helped me so much and I can’t express it enough to you. I post your videos around to help other people as well! Please keep doing what you’re doing and helping others understand each other!
i've seen a rising trend in people saying 'oh, if my boyfriend abuses me then they love me enough to show that they're the boss and they care for me'. that isn't love and sadly this is the mentality of many girls and women out there.
wow that's so wrong
That’s a huge mental problem with this generation
I feel like in society and in a heterosexual relationship, men are suppose to be the ‘dominate’ one while woman are suppose to be submissive. So due to this exception and others, that is why abusive is seemed as okay or why woman do not do much about it. Also, I have nothing against individuals part of the LGBT+ community, this is only an example.
I would say it's the opposite when it comes to gender, at least in my country. Here, a lot of men are like this, maybe even most, while women a lot less (but ofc, there are women like that too). A lot of (married) people here are in such unhealthy relationships in which mostly women behave in *at least* 2-3 ways from the video's list, while men think that that's how a woman should be (although they admit such women and their wives are crazy, they still think that's how it's supposed to be). Women here think like that a lot less, although a lot of them also put up with such things. But women (well, people in general) also often aren't aware that they're behaving unhealthy too - not because it's "hard" to be aware, but because they always make excuses for their behaviour, blame it on men, and think they are/should be always right. And as long as men put up with that (and women with such men), I think the majority of people and relationships will be like that. And no person can be a healthy person while remaining in an unhealthy relationship.
Ha, I think I've just realized why my nation is so fucked up when it comes to literally everything 🙈
@@Adriana.Gabriela well, for starters, that's a long comment. but i read it all. :)
that's true, some men think that women are just meant to be crazy and that if they act abusive or such it's fine. although in my country many women die as a result of men killing them because of jealousy, being overbearing etc. so, i guess if differs from country to country or person to person.
The indicator of having a healthy relationship is when you both can do different things at the same time. But neither of you is being bitter about it because the two of you have space to do other stuff.
But what if the other never does things with you? Or more specifically, stopped doing things with you. Arranges dates, then doesn't show up. Is it wrong to feel bitter when they spend time doing whatever else?
@@Walamonga1313 Then u arrange dates bro
Only works when both parties make space for each other
What about when you become the person who is obsessed and jealous all the time? I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to mess up what we have. I don't want to become this monster to him. I love him I really do. He just feels like the only thing that makes me feel alive anymore..
Same here and I just found out that I'm emotionally dependent to him. I love him but I have to leave him so I did.
I needed this a long time ago. I was blind to how bad my ex girlfriend was treating me
Same here.
Same here.
I love that she has a leave on her head
When I was in high school my freshman year my ex friend match made with a guy she used to know from our elementary school but since me and him got together he became so immature and whiney and complainy and it was toxic and then I dated a guy in my junior year he cheated on me an then my senior year my ex and I dated for a year and then 2012 he dumped me after the funeral of my uncle in law I stayed single for a while then 2014 I found myself and I was happy I met new people and then a guy I used to know from college we reconnected again through facebook and then 2015 we had our first date and have been together for 6 years already and never been happier
I'm glad things got better for you! Just goes to show that all bad things come to an end! :D
Fake.
so.. what im experiencing now is normal. I noticed that guys that court me are manipulators and liars. they lie just to get my sympathy or so i could like them.
@@azula9830 my advice is be careful about which guys you talk to they can be tricky I been there a guy I dated was such a bad boy he went from girl to girl just guys these days has no self respect
@@killertomatofuck GTFO
In my past relationahip, I always had the feeling our love wasn't healthy enough.. After the breakup this feeling just vanished and I wanted to go back again. Thank you for the reminder. You made this a lot easier. :)
Sigh. Two and a half years I went through those! And after my partner left I struggle to cope and I'm still struggling even now I'm watching this. Sigh I don't believe in love again! My eyes twitches every time I hear people say "I love you" in an intimate way! Even from movies and other videos!
I gave you everything I had without expectations, you gave me nothing at all and expected me to stay
I had a boyfriend who did all of these and i broke it off with him and i dont regret it, now im feeling way better without him. Stay safe and much love
I didn’t realize I was in an unhealthy relationship until my friends sat me down and really helped me open my eyes. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t know what could have happened to me and my mental health. I am grateful for them looking out for me and caring so much for me
I never really knew what the toxicity of my last relationship actually was and I broke down crying when watching this video because my ex did all these things to me when we were in a relationship.
now I’m in love with the most wonderful guy ever. i finally know what love really means and I don’t want to lose it :) thank you so much ❤️
*✨🌸Quote Of The Day!🌸✨*
“ ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson
*Reminder:*
You are beautiful. You are loved. You are worth it. Don’t ever doubt that! 💘💜💗💙💖💛
I love you! Have an amazing day 🥺
🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨🌸✨
No it isnt.......
Not everyone is a beautiful special snowflake. Better to be pragmatic than fall around believing your super special and amazing. Billions of people on this planet. No way all of them are special, if everyone is special it defeats the purpose of the word special. Make sense?
@@prettz9742 have fun with your depressing life then!
When you realize your ex was all of the negative types and there really isn’t anything wrong with you
This! The emotional damage is real and will take possible years to get over. Not all relationships are saveable unfortunately. Cut losses and move forward, or prepare for a miserable existence.
Love yourself! 🙂
Through the highs and lows, only real love grows. Forgiveness is key. Communication. But superficial love will die through the lows.
0:12 legit just thought: “love, it’s what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.” And now I’m disappointed that’s not what it said
My ex turned into the manipulative person that wasn't love so that's why I had to break up with him
i'm proud of you
i’m literally such a jealous person it SUCKS. Can’t do one thing without being absolutely overprotective and angry anymore 💗✨
Not everybody you meet will be like your ex. Try to heal yourself. ☺️🤗
Yes... I’ve been trying to work on myself to not be jealous , Cos it hurts to be like that
Do better! its fucking horrible to be on receiving end. At least you recognize it though
Just have in mind that jealousy actually ruins the relationships. You're becoming smothering for your partner.
Lately I’ve been fearing that I’m becoming a very toxic person. I’ve had a crush on someone for a very long time, and I think for a while I sort of was under the impression that we were kind of dating. Even a lot of our friends were confused when I said that we weren’t. But despite that, or maybe because of it, I still feel very insecure about my crush. Whenever I see them talk to someone who isn’t me; having fun or enjoying something when I’m not involved; being kind and attentive to other people; not responding to my constant messages or attempts to hang out; or when I’m not the only person they reach out to for support or to talk about stuff, I feel very hurt. As if it’s their responsibility to manage all of my own emotional baggage or to prop me up as this supremely important person in their life. Lately I’ve been improving a bit I think and I’m starting to assimilate the concept of independence and respecting boundaries. This video also really helped a lot with internalizing my feelings and helping to parse them a bit so I can figure out how to address them. I appreciate it a lot.
bold of you to assume I have found love
hahahhahahaha relatable
Your profile pic is love in its purest form
😂😂😂😂
Thank you for this video. I didn't realize how toxic my codependency had truly become.. and I truly care about my partner. I have been working on this and improving. This was just the reminder I needed at the perfect time.
Trying really hard to get over an unhealthy relationship. I have to constantly keep reminding myself about all the unhealthy aspects of it to not run back to him but it is so damn hard because I love him eventhough I know we're not right for each other
I've been in a relationship for over 3 months now , everything went from 0 to 100 and I love it 🥰 we're very clingy and look out for eachother but that's because of past trauma and heart break , we love eachothers company more than anything 🥰🥰 (I love u Kayleigh , thank you so much for loving me back 🥰)
So cute I love it❤️
I’m in a relationship like this too we’ve been together for 3 months. I’m so happy for you wish you guys the best
Me: bored
Phych2go:not on my watch...SO HERES A FEW REASONS YOU DEPPRE-
This really made me more secure with ending my relationship because everything that happened was unhealthy but I didn’t know
I really want to major in psych but my parents trashed that idea believing that I won’t get a job and think it’s useless. After that I wasn’t sure what I wanted and ended up choosing a major idek if I want and they’re saying how it’s my fault and that I’m wasting their money. That invalidity led me to watch your vids in order to deal with the gaslighting and emotional abuse at home. Thank you for uploading these videos! They really make me feel better.
I'm in love with the wall in the school I love sleeping beside it..I miss him ;-;
Is this a real number .-. ?
😂😂😂👍🏻
I really love watching your videos to know or to get an idea that I was not in the wrong. My last relationship with a girl turned sour quickly after I cheated on her, I do regret and that’s on me, before that she would guard me from my phone and only want to cuddle when we hang out together. She would argue with me about playing on my computer when she is over; she stayed over for 12 hours a day, 4 days a week. She would hit me enough to hurt me mentally, making me feel bad. She only wanted me, and with that she put me into an isolation, I fell deeper into my depression. I never hung out with friends. With me falling into depression, she started to get depressed. But once I was happy, she was happy; which I see as normal, but sometimes I can’t control when I have a breakdown or an anxiety attack or just a general episode of some sort. That’s when she started to become depressed everyday, after we ended it she was happy. It’s like she faked it, but she was depressed in our relationship. I feel so lonely and still think of the idea of cuddling her. 😔
This literally describes what I tried to teach my partner in my first serious relationship, but he took the unhealthy route.
Thank you guys for making such helpful content. 😊
yes I really wanted to talk about these things with her - as I knew the "love buzz" wouldnt last (it felt really good tho)
I love psych to go. The narrator has a very calm, soothing voice.
I spend 11 months in an unhealthy relationship...thank god I'm out of it and now I can focus on myself and learn from what when wrong so I can put to practice the fixed mistakes and develop a healthy relationship with myself and my future partner. Thank you for this video!
That’s why whenever trust becomes an issue in a relationship, that’s the time to stop.
I’ve been in unhealthy love situations. I’m taking full accountability. I’m working on doing better.
I don't know what to do. I want my relationship to work out but these kinds of videos always make me less hopeful of that and more lost
this makes me feel good about my relationship right now
Man, I actually never realized that I was experiencing unhealthy love. I was in a relationship for almost a year and a half. Things went upside down when I started high school(was a freshman now a sophomore). I can relate with numbers 2, 3 and part of 1 & 6. Mainly numbers 2 and 3. I had to end the my relationship with my ex-boyfriend because of his controlling/obsessive/overprotective behavior. The worst part that he was so sweet to me but he didn't like my closest friends. But I felt I had a disadvantage because I have a sweet nature around people that I get along with. Now my ex hates me and saying that I cheated on him for my online best friend. I didn't cheat on him and I had fights with him, via text, that would get me into tears. But I also sometimes feel he didn't care how I felt when I wasn't seen a close friend. I tried telling him but it seems it didn't work. I just hope I hope I find someone better than him.
Just realized two months ago that my current relationship is mostly this jealousy monster & not love. This video hit on everything that I have just realized it’s been happening for years
Normal people: wow, this is so deep
Me: **sings** WhAt Is LoVe? BaBy DoN't HuRt Me! DoN't HuRt Me, No MoRe! _WhAt Is LoVe!!_
Well hello shrek didn't expect you here.
Was thinking of the song, too.
I know that song
Shrek i love you
Ask Fiona. She will make you understand.
Yea I’m the unhealthy one...I get so anxious and forget that I’m also affecting him. I never want to hurt him or make him feel bad again. I’m all of these to a certain extent like I’ve done them at least once. We’re long distance, so it’s reaaallly hard. There’s just so many things that stem from my own insecurities and anxiety. As of right now, we’re on a break for the rest of the summer. I don’t think we’re completely unhealthy, but we definitely need to work on some things together and individually. This video’s helped me realize that I need to let the relationship stabilize. Omg...theres so much I wanna say but don’t know how to say it...I messed up
This don't affect me I'm single
What made you curious about this video? ;)
@@Psych2go I just love your videos I never miss them but I've been hurt before and had my heartbroken so I can. Relate a lot
Some of these can actually still happen in different types of relationships. Manipulation being the biggest example. A lot of unhealthy relationships including abusive ones between family members involve manipulation. I can give you a personal example: my mom gives gifts to my sisters and I with the expectation that she would get us to only love her and nobody else simply because she gave us life. A loving parent should never hold you back and do what's best for you. In this case, my mom says that if we loved her, we would stay in her life and serve her back when she's older just like she did when we were children. The point is, manipulation can be tricky to notice when someone who is supposed to be really close to you and is supposed to nurture you does it.
@@carolinacoreas7716 she says if you love her you have to serve her that's not love in my eyes you look after eachother obviously my mom used to hurt me physically and mentally I'm now on medication for my illness I was abused in the worst way to so I struggle even meeting people now
@@keiron.4612 I somewhat understand you. I may not have gone through what you have, but I can share a similar sentiment. My mom is codependent and possibly a narcissist, manipulation is her whole game. She's always the victim and it's always about her. I'm still struggling to cope with my anxiety and I recently had a depressive episode. I barely got a sense of self by the time I was a sophomore in high school. I always felt like she was in control of my life. I struggle to remember that now I can have control of my own life and that I should try to not let her manipulate me again. I haven't gotten the proper help yet, but I'm aching to just finally start healing. I try to love her but she makes it so hard when she's the one who hurts me and she pushes me away when I try to make her feel better about herself. I know she's the only one who can change herself, but I wish she'd finally find a purpose so that she can heal herself and grow more independent. I know deep down, she hates herself, but at this point, there's not much I can do to help. I like sharing my story with others because I hope that telling it can help others suffering to find help and to take action on separating themselves from the toxic person. I sometimes think that I'm just being selfish with how much I talk about my experience and I'm always scared I'm going to turn out like my mom.
Yes, I appreciate it very much I just got out of a narcissist and abusive relationship and I'm not ever wanting to find another person like that. Thank you for the education on this.
6 Differences between healthy and unhealthy love
1. Intensity V.S. Stability
2. Isolation V.S. Independence
3. Concern V.S. Jealousy
4. Teasing V.S. Belittling
5. Generosity V.S. Manipulation
6. Honesty V.S. Volatility
True. In fact, this could be elaborated so much more. There is a list of normalised unhealthy behaviors in the name of love, and an underrated list of behaviors that resemble deep, real, true, consistent love.
I wish I knew this existed when I was in my abusive relationships years ago
There is a difference between loving someone and think you love someone, but in reality, you love what they do for you.
For me, the "jealousy" and "possessiveness" is due to having bad previous relationships and having been cheated on, used and abused, etc. Thankfully my love and I always talk things through and I've explained why I feel the way I do when it comes to certain things and he's been so understanding and supportive! The constant checking in is due to me having separation anxiety because I hate being apart and I'm always worried for his safety. I have a deep, paralyzing fear that I'll never see him again if I don't hear from him after a while. So he's been very sweet about that too and always texts me whenever he has time at work and such :) when it comes to things like running errands he always asks if I want to come along because he knows it makes me feel better when I can just be with him. It may sound weird, but I feel like he won't be safe unless I'm with him. :)
I want to say thank you. Thank you so much. My partner left me on Wednesday, and he was all of these negative aspects, and I didn't see it.
Honestly, thank you so much!
Well. I tried to have a relationship with a girl once. Deep down, she was someone I truly wanted. I had never met a person like her before and she almost reminded me of myself in a way. This date I’m commenting on is a bit special to me with that relationship 1 year ago. I had obsessed over her at school for a long time before and just knew I had to talk to her somehow. About a year ago, I tracked down her social media and managed to talk to her. We had a relatively decent friendship going and I really wanted to be a good friend to her. However, a few things made it go south in less than 2 months. My obsession never stabilized with her and I accidentally shared way too many depressing thoughts I had to her. This caused her to get upset. Then she found out about my obsession with her and it completely creeped her out. Plus there is a bit of an age gap between us that also made her uncomfortable. I honestly feel really bad about it still to this day and wish it never would’ve went down that way. I really just wanted a friend as I have been rather lonely my whole life. But my obsession got in the way and made me have an unhealthy love for her. I was not sexually into her, it was mainly her personality I was chasing. I still have to admit my obsession was crazy. It honestly still is all this time later. I don’t know how I can get over the obsession, but I am really sorry for what I did.
It is OK. I can relate to this, somewhat. I could never talk to her in details and after school was over and we parted to go on our different ways. I have neither seen her nor talked to her in 5 years! I try to reason with myself that it was probably just a silly crush and I have forgotten about her but the reality is that it still hurts. I never got a chance to stabilise my feelings because I was stupid to not steer the conversation in that direction when I had the chance. I am sure that you will be able to stabilise your emotions for this girl if ever she has a conversation with you because you have learnt from your mistake.
@@thetechnocrat4979 well. Here is the thing. She wants absolutely nothing to do with me at all. Recently she found out I was viewing her account and she accused me of being a pedophile when that has nothing to do with it. When that happened, I told her that I was really working on changing, but she just told me to get out. When that happened, it made me feel really bad inside.
@@weatheronthe8s895
Well, that is sad. She is not ready to open her eyes yet. I don't know what to say bro. The situation might play and mould itself, maybe. For now, I would suggest that don't make any direct or indirect contact with her. Maybe, with time and distance, she will be able to reflect on the situation with a new perspective.
@@thetechnocrat4979 yeah. I will try to do that and that's what I'm trying to do. Thank you for the suggestion.
@@weatheronthe8s895
You are welcome. I hope that you find peace.
80% of the people here in the Philippines confuse love and romance by idealizing it. People love love and often disregard the importance of compatibility and chemistry. This video could do a lot of them a lot of good.
Actually it's for the whole world.
Thank you
Assuming your partner is "good enough" as long as you try to understand them, make them feel comfortable in sharing their feelings and making them feel heard and validating their emotions shows that you're going in the right direction...
I'm happy that I understand this now... It's sometimes scary not knowing how you can be a good partner to someone, sometimes over focusing on some unimportant or even unhealthy stuff and on the other hand forgetting some mundane and obvious stuff like making your partner feel heard... In those situations you can put a lot of effort, but since it is in the wrong areas, you won't see as much of a result as you anticipated and it can become really frustrating... Ending everything tragically
Thank you Psych2go
Finger: I AM SPEED
Girls in quarantine be like
oh hell naw LOL
XD
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
This video is legit my now (healthy relationship)v past (unhealthy toxic)relationships
Omg this is great! You guys know exactly what we want ^w^
Yes, we do? :)
please make one about healthy vs unhealthy long-distance relationships
you should give but not _only_ give. there should be give and take. give selflessly but if they don’t give anything or much back then that’s unhealthy
This channel is so soothing, from the voice to the drawings ❤.
Thank you so much
Relationships are toxic in general.... being hurt by them, I think I’m better off being single.
My relationships with all my previous ex’s...they’ve been one sided and it hurts.
Me trying to be ready and grown for a relationship, with one of my friends and they have moved on. I learned...at my pace, I’m not destined for love.
I’m okay with that, all my relationships in the end prefer my.... “help” and after, being angry with me that I didn’t attend their needs, that they are toxic and not the love they can have, which is a unconditional love anyone would want. But see me as the bad person...not them.
So I don’t know if loving a fantasy land is more better then real love.
But wonderful videos as always, keep up the great work
I have relationship-based anxiety. For me, I need to be extra careful with the possessiveness aspects and I have learned to manage my boundaries and understand others. However, there are some things I especially stuggle with when it comes to romantic relationships. Often, I realize, these can at best be percieved as overdramatic or at worst gasloghting or manipulating, when it is just my own insecurity leading me down thought paths and actions that may not be the most logical. Is there anyway you guys could give some tips to those of us who struggle with relationship-based anxieties? For me, it's not that I don't trust the person I'm with, I'm so insecure with myself and am certain that I see repeating patterns of abandonment when that isn't always the case. I'd also enjoy a video talking about how to discuss boundary settings with a romantic partner.
Your partner is the most common tought on your head, so if you have anxiety that is unrelated to your relationship you can be associating to your partner since is the person you think constantly, dont confuse it, Be self-aware, honest with your partner and highly communicative, even when you feel hurt for no reason, dont ignore it, tell to your partner, let them ackowledge it.
Go trought your boundaries, long-term expectations, also ask about your partner boundaries and long-term expectations, if your partner aligns with it, nice, otherwise you can request them to sacrifice and change, if they refuse you simply cant do much besides going your separate way.
I have the same problem, but in much smaller scale, especially since i'm going trought my first relationship, it's hard, but with lots of love and communication you can start trusting and being more open with your partner.
seek therapy.
Yep, describes a lot of my relationships in my family on both sides.
Both sides were very into the “forgive and forget” approach to “Christian love” which translates into “screaming the devil away” and other methods of abuse justified in this kind of “love”.
I see what it is now though, generations of hurt people in turn hurting people because that’s all they know and every now and then someone gave in and started actively adding to everyone’s misery.
I’ve forgiven the ones that hurt out of hurt, and the ones that intentionally added, I don’t talk to or acknowledge anymore.
Thank you for making these videos, creators like you are helping millions for the better one vid at a time.