4 Types of Trauma & How It Impacts Your Relationship
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- Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
- In this video, we explore the 4 types of trauma and how they can impact your relationships. Trauma can be caused by a variety of experiences, such as abuse, neglect, or even natural disasters. When left unaddressed, it can lead to negative patterns in our relationships. We discuss the impact of rejection trauma, abandonment trauma, betrayal trauma, and humiliation trauma on our relationships and provide tips on how to overcome the negative effects of emotional trauma or psychological trauma.
Our expert insights can help you understand the root of the problem and provide actionable steps to improve your relationships. If you're struggling with trauma and how it's affecting your relationships, this video is for you.
We also made a video on how your trauma explains your coping mechanism. Be sure to check out the video too: • How Your Trauma Explai...
Official Discord: / discord
Researcher/Writer: Stela Košić
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Cristina
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCE:
psych2go.net/4-types-of-traum...
The thing is severe childhood bullies and neglectful adults at school can cause these traumas too. It's not only parents. My Mom did the best she could and gave me all she could. The school is where all of my trauma comes from.
Sooo true and adults in these places play a major role.
i feel the same way
This is so true even if your been bullied in school who you gonna tell because teachers ain't interested your just alone
Exactly what I was going to say!! I have all these traumas 😞😣 sadly I do and it all started at school because my parents are the best parents of the world I love them sooo much! They always loved me never did anything or said anything to hurt me. My trauma came from school being bullied the 13 years you ar win school and teachers never doing anything or siding with the bullies and blaming me for everything I developed many trauma in school and my parents did everything they could but the teachers never help or cared about it🥺
Me too
A lot of these can also be applied to friendships. The abandonment isn’t just parents leaving their kids behind, it’s friends ditching friends. It’s people turning you into a third wheel that ultimately breaks away. It’s people only talking to you because you’re in the same class, not because they like you.
It’s people erasing you from their existence and denying you ever played a major part.
This can go hand in hand with the pleasure love style because you don’t want them to leave. You’ll change yourself and you’ll do everything if it means they don’t leave you. It’s doing everything to avoid conflict because you think that if they get mad at you, that you’re not worthy of their love and attention.
this
A lot of them seem to overlap too.
Right, shit. Did not realize that’s exactly what I’m going through with my friends
Omg I can relate 😢
Can we talk about friendship trauma especially when you are a child how your friends conditioned you to be a people pleaser for them and manipulated situations to make you look bad in front of others when you were children
A lot of these trauma types can also be translated into friendships.
My home life was perfect. But I couldn’t wait to leave school because of the utter loneliness I felt. At least at home I wouldn’t be ignored if I tried to have a conversation with someone.
Being abused for all my life in many different ways, from family to friends, I feel kind of all of them.
The 4 trauma types mentioned were such a "normal" occurance growing up that I never understood (still don't...) why I exist. What is my purpose? My reason for being? If everthing that I think, say, or do is THE reason why another person is angry? At 50 I'm still amazed at how many people I've met who do not hesitate with the belief that blaming others is rationally acceptable for thier own anger. It's bewildering and absolutely daunting at times. Anger is YOURS, anger is irrational and anger walks... ugh! 🙄 We survivors of a traumatic childhood can get sucked into some dangerously scary "relationships"so quickly... becuase it's familiar... and all we've ever known.
Adverse childhood experiences
1. Rejection 1:23
2. Abandonment 2:56
3. Betrayal 4:31
4. Humiliation 5:48
:)
All 4
@@Kamix98PL good job, now ask for help, get help.
You deserve better.
@kami98pl
Samedt. It took me years, to accept me and not self reject, get out of the victim mindset. Cause parents love us the way they know how, whatever childhood trauma we had experieced we have to take control of our life and seek help if needed… Finding a partner who 100% accepted me my flaws and all helps in healing.,
Also I just realized that probably parents where traumatized too growing up, and they passed on the trauma… vicious cycle 😢
I’ve definitely dealt with rejection. Over and over and over again. Every single crush I’ve had has ended the same way. With me meeting their girlfriend and realizing they are straight on the same day I work up enough confidence to tell them I like them. It’s happened so many times. And it hurts. But at the same time. I’m happy that they found someone. But now that I have a new crush. I’m too scared to say anything. Couple that with my touch-starvation and ADHD, autism, potential s*xual assault victim because I’ve been having vivid nightmares about a guy being over me and not letting me go. that are too real. Along with being a trans female. And I probably won’t be with anyone.
The rejection one is so relatable to me, I often just expect people to hate me and to eventually reject me so I very rarely approach people. And the worst is taking small things personally. It's something I wanna work on since taking small things personally is a very toxic trait that I'm not comfy with.
Same
Yea, I have to approach ppl for my job, but I hate it.
It's that plus just feeling like they would want and deserve better if they wanted me so it's best to accept that they would want that anyway ;-;
You don't often seem to cover childhood trauma that results in keeping away from having any romantic relationships at all as an adult. It would be nice to watch that.
I can relate. Been divorced for 16 years. Just only now trying to start over again.
This!!! I am incapable of even thinking I could be in a relationship, im so scared about people genuinely seeing me. Honestly dont believe that love can be safe and that im capable of being loved.
Would also like to see some content related to this. Romantic relationships, to me, have always felt like an elaborate form of control. And I've never been able to relinquish that idea to believe that a good partner won't try to control or restrict you; I believe it for others, but I can't trust it in my own life.
Same, I don't want one because I'm like, they're just going to betray me anyways. Why would I want to put myself through that? Screw it. Also think no one would want to be with me? So I totally relate...
After being betrayed in love, I don't think love exist anymore. I may be wrong. But all I attract is people who betray. So I say to myself "Alone is Safe".
I thought i no longer struggle with my traumas but 🤡 it resurfaces after i get into my first and serious relationship.. good thing is , I'm aware of it so instead of running away or isolating myself completely,i stayed and deal with it. I have all these traumas thanks to my chaotic childhood, while my partner has two of these , sometimes we fought because we're isolating ourselves instead of talking about it, but we would come around and talk about it, talking about it actually helps us see that we both mean no harm ,we actually accidentally hurt eachother trying to protect ourselves..
Rejection Trauma. That is it! Thank you for saying to me that I`m not alone in this feeling. I feel that all the time. What can I do? I`ve ruined my previous relationship because of this. I talked to and hugged my girlfriend in the morning and in the evening I already think that she doesn`t like me anymore even though I know she is busy with her own affairs. I love her so much and I`m happy in the moments when we are together, but all the other time I strongly believe that she would be better off without me and this is driving me crazy :(
I feel you. I think you may also have an anxious attachement style. You can do some researches on verywellmind about rejection trauma and trust issues. It’s also important to consult a professional because the wound is often very deep and the work you’ll have to do requires patience and time. Consider communicating with your girlfriend about that, and accept who you are. It’s difficult because we want to be healthy and the best person for our partner but talking to them about your issues and how you want to be a secure person is really great. I wish you luck
I feel the same, I constantly think my gf will abandon me/get bored of me. I feel like no one's first option...
You're not alone in this!
Thank you
There are 5 symptoms you can find in every person who has had childhood trauma (always to a degree).
Inappropriate levels of self-esteem. usually expressed as feeling less than(others) and in some cases better than (others). depends on the circumstances. and/or swinging from one to another.
Does not have proper boundaries (internal and external). internal when it comes to others abusing you, including you abusing you. and external which prevents you from abusing others(the little Titan in you wants to hurt people for no reason).
Inability to take care of their wants and needs. some are wantless and needless, some expect others to take care of their needs, some don't want any help and do it themselves only and some confuse needs with wants.
Difficulty owning one's own reality. which means a person is not aware of how they look, how they dress, what they think, what they like, etc. It's sort of like they haven't developed an identity.
Are not able to be in moderation. everything is either black or white, drink till pass out, emotional roller coasters up and down and back around. living on the edge with no supposed balance and moderation, and lots of self-sabotage going on. (no wonder they say normal life is boring!)
this is from Pia Mellody’s work. which not a lot of people know about. I'm not sure why. if you master these from her book called “facing codependence”. you will at least have a grip on what is going on with your life.
she also breaks down actual trauma, and defence mechanisms that a child uses and then carries them into adulthood and she also tells you how to work with it.
There is no better account of childhood trauma broken down like this to the core fundamentals. you gotta work on all 5 at the same time usually. It's a long journey but It’s doable. but you have to become aware of it first. and then learn it so you can explain it to others like I just did! I have learned it's true that what you learn you have to practice and preach. and knowing how to teach someone else, might actually mean that you have learned it yourself.
Thanks for the rea have a good day.
Thank you for this.
I have all af these signs, and it's really suffocating to live and fight with these everyday lives.
Thank you for breaking this down here. It's encouraging to look back and see how I've made progress in some of these areas but also a bit overwhelming to think about how much more work there is for me to do. I guess that's why they say to focus on the present
thank you so much for this well-written breakdown. a lot of things struck multiple chords with me, thanks to your personal yet relatable way of putting things.
this is the first time i've seen so much of what i thought only belonged to me in someone else's mind. ironically, i've also overcome most of my trauma at that point. i feel proud of myself... but at the same time, i feel bad for young me, who had to endure so much pain and suffering silently, all the while not understanding what's happening and how to cope.
hopefully this kind of stuff will be more widespread so less people will have to suffer like we did.
Thanks so much
Timestamps
1). Rejection trauma 1:19
2). Abandonment trauma 2:54
3). Betrayal trauma 4:30
4). Humiliation trauma 5:47
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
it hurts knowing that i’ve fallen deep into all 4 of them.
@@katato Same here
@@A55a551n 🫂🫂🫂 it makes you feel terrible or if you’re at the bottom of the barrel knowing that you’ve experienced all types, doesn’t it?
@@katato yeah but I am an optimist
The last one really affected me as a teen since one of my siblings and my mom humiliated me on a family event one night by yelling out loud of what i like personally of my hobbies and painting it as being stupid liking those things and needed to be a proper person.
Everyone hearing that including my mom mocking me while laughing at me making fun of those things i was curious about and i genuinely liked it was so bad that i immediately run to a high empty room avoid anyone at all cost and was hurt by that.
To this day i still avoid family gatherings and getting near them because of my sister and it still triggers me whenever i go to holidays with families or my older sister. It's messed up.
Weirdly enough they all described me and highlighted some of my problems in life, i have grown so distant from my own emotions i hardly feel anything true anymore. To protect me and i have developed a coping mechanism to block out my child hood trauma to the point where i can't even remember them happening, for example i am currently 20 years old, i just found out that i witnessed my mothers miscarriage when i was 8, and when i was 6 that i ignored my mother for around 5 months after my sister came out as a still born.
Im shook. I have suffered from all of these and I'm trying to keep myself together with the weight of the reality of it. Im not just broken, im shattered. However, instead of forming toxic relationships i never had one to begin with and isolated myself from the world. My family wonders why i don't have a wife and kids yet fail to understand they wounded me in ways that hurt me and affected me to this day. Im on a journey now to growth and healing and i forgive them but man its hard biting the bullet of reality. I ran from it for so long that addressing it feels better than keep on running from it. I hope whoever reads this heals too and forgoves those who hurt you so you can grow too. 🕊️❤️
These videos always talk about growing up with toxic parents, I would really love a video about growing up with a toxic older sibling. I love your content :)
One thing I’m struggling with right now, is to accept that my parents aren’t the same people they were ten years ago. And that I’m worth of all their support and all of the friendships I currently have. They’ve both changed so much after I left for college, that now that I spend time with them my mind makes it so hard to get along because I expect all of those old behaviors to come back. It makes me feel like a child throwing a tantrum, because I always expect the worst and I’m taking everything my parents say too personal when it’s not a big deal. Therapy has helped, but I’m wondering if a I’ll ever get better…. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life.
I know I have childhood trauma, that I'm still as a teenager, working trhough, but I've never realized how much it actually affects my behaviour. i relate almost too much to many of these, and I am only now starting to realize things. thank you, psych2go for helping people like me understand themselfes
For a while i didnt exactly know what kind of trauma i might have suffered at my mom's house as it wasent often talked about and was pretty specific, but i feel lile betrayal really describes it well. Ive been acused of lying multiple times by my mom and mostly step dad even thought i didnt lie and this made me develop some sort of complex about truth and lies. Thanks for talking about these sorts of thing!
I don't know if it is a detail on purpose or not, but I am really grateful that in the shown relationship, the taller person ist the one who has trauma and needs help.
Most of the time it is always the smaller person who only gets comfort by the the taller person.
Thank you ❤
1:24 yup. Can most definitely relate to this. Back in first grade, one of my friends made me nearly lose all my friends. After that I stopped trusting people and became a little cold and distant. But now, thanks to anime(and your wonderful videos) helped show me it’s ok to cry. Heck, I cried yesterday because of an event that triggered this memory. Thanks a lot
Believe me, Tracy, you are not alone. Rejection trauma is very painful and this video helped show me too, that
it's ok to cry. Thanks for sharing!
@@stevehortongothlindreiss3983 your welcome! Didn’t know I would inspire people with this, but knowing that makes me happy!
Sooooooooo true, being an early years teacher myself i totally agree with the points. The affect it can have on children and as they grow up is absolutely heartbreaking 😢. I pray that every child finds safety in this world especially in their own homes.
. . .
Tell me why this just speaks of my entire life...
Not in my family life but instead my school.
Your videos really help me find stuff in myself
Thanks for letting other people know about these type of stuff Psych2Go!
The last three types of traumas I say I strongly agree is something I've been through. After some counselling at school and learning more about trama's effects, I've become a better person. And it's because of you Psych2Go! Don't stop what you and the whole team have been doing, as it has already helped a lot of people and it will help more in the future. Stay safe
I feel like I needed this video.
I haven’t experienced childhood trauma, no; my family loves me and I have so many people who care and support me, yet two rejections of love (one brutally crushing me) have made me feel like I don’t deserve a living relationship. And it doesn’t help the amount of stories that I have heard about people who have been in long relationships, who felt truly loved, yet were cheated on or heard that they aren’t loved. I fear that I don’t deserve a happy relationship. I fear he won’t want me, which I know if that happens I should move on, but I have these fears even though we’ve only been dating for around 3 weeks. He’s the first person I’ve dated, so maybe it’s the newness that makes me nervous. I just worry that he will get tired of me or that during college he will want someone else or that he will control me, even though he’s only been supportive and understanding. We are open, or at least that’s what it seems to be, but I still fear for the worst.
I love him, I really do.
i was recently digging through my memories to try and figure out why my memory is shit and found a memory buried so deep, it was almost impossible to dig out. it was one where i went to go play with people i thought were friends, but when i got there they wanted nothing to do with me. this happened multiple times when i was little, and this, along with someone i truly loved disappearing without a trace or even a goodbye, might be why i’m scared to talk to new people or try to find my person. i’ve been hurt before, and i don’t want to be hurt again. i crave that connection, but i’m too afraid to chase it
Abandonment trauma hit too close home. I mean I always knew I had that because my mom left me when I was 6 but I never got into any relationship. One of many reasons was fear of rejection and being vulnerable, I was afraid how my mental health and traumas would affect me. I'm in talking stage with a guy and you perfectly described how I'm feeling. I feel like I'm self sabotaging myself because I'm so afraid I'm going to be like my mother in relationship and I don't think I deserve someone like him and at the same time I'm already scared he's gonna leave. I'm really thinking whether I have bpd because it's really getting into my head lmao
All four, to varying degrees, from various people, with various effects to various times of my life apply to me. High emotional response plus mild autistic tendencies plus mentally unhealthy parents plus revolving door of "friends" and family plus bullies equals not fun.
I am in tears. This hits home.
sadly, i have suffered from two kind of these childhood traumas and mi friendship and romantic relationships are, during crisis, chaotic, even sometimes when i'm not in a crisis i act like someone i don't feel represented at all. i am in a psychological treatment but i feel like i'm getting worse and my personality disorder is going out of control. these kind of videos make me feel like I'm not the only one out there, like there's has to be a slightly better version of myself and I'm not alone.
thank you so much.
Love your narration , Amanda 🫶
I’m just gonna share my story… I suffer from an extremely abusive mom who somehow manages to physically and mentally abuse me and neglect me at the same time. As if the only time she’d ever pay any attention to me was to scream at me over a small mistake or hurt me physically. And then I have an angel for a father who only wants the best for me, and didn’t abandon me when he had the choice. He stayed and protected me from my mom. I got slapped hard across my face for just, not sweeping the floor right. I was dragged out of town when I clearly said “I don’t want to go, can I stay with my dad?” She says no and her and her boyfriend bring me 4 hours out of my hometown to a different town because her boyfriend needs to work. I didn’t want to go at all. My dad couldn’t do anything about this because he didn’t have full custody over me. Out there we stayed at a hotel. She promised me we’d go to the theatres for the first time in my life and watch a movie. Later that night for just making a joke to make fun of her (all I said was “What is your phone haunted?” in response to her saying her phone was doing stuff on its own) she drags me into the bathroom and starts kicking and punching me. I’m just sitting there crying my eyes out while she calls my dad and she begins “crying” saying I tried punching her when all I did was push her away in self-defence. My dad knew that I wouldn’t even try doing such a thing as much as I hated her but didn’t say anything so he doesn’t anger her more. Meanwhile her boyfriend just listens to what she’s doing to me meaning he didn’t care about me at all. Oh by the way her boyfriend was abusing her (threatening her with a knife, beating her up, etc.) for a whole year before this story and this story was a year ago and he’s still doing it. It’s been 3 years since he entered my life. Back to the story, after this happened I went to bed with the 2 of them since we had to share one bed. I act like I’m asleep and I hear my mom “crying” asking her boyfriend “What do I do with this kid?” and I was literally so angry, and I was aching everywhere. The next day she said we won’t be going to the theatres and we’re going straight home because of what I- I caused?? And on the way back she begins lecturing me about my SELF-DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR, and they were smoking in the vehicle with closed windows while a kid was in the back. Then my mom begins screaming at her boyfriend and grabs the wheel and starts swaying the vehicle all over the highway. I was scared for my life. Her boyfriend stabilized the vehicle when she stopped. When we got back home I just went to bed wanting to forget that ever happened. This is only one of the many examples of her abusing me. And after this she returns to neglecting me. I went to stay with my dad and didn’t go back there for 2 weeks.
And also to anyone who may be concerned because of this story I am safe with my biological dad and haven’t spoken to my mom in months. Not saying she isn’t gone from my life and that I’m not going through anything but I am currently safe.
By the way I’m sorry about the long comment! 😅
Also for this story my dad was 4 hours away so he couldn’t do anything if you’re wondering.
Shiz bro I'm so sorry that happened! Nobody deserves to be treated that way especially kids! That's f-ed. I'm sorry that happened to you. I wish you the best of luck on your life!
What the hell... it's just mindblowing.I loved the background song and the animation. You are growing very well❤❤❤❤❤
this video is making me realize so much
No no no no no
Thank you for saying “you matter”. I needed to hear that. ❤
My GF and I both have traumatic issues from our pasts so we both ran away from our families however our traumas are entirely different.
My trauma was very simple and honestly childish look back at it but it was basically being judged by having a large penis but never using it because kids around my age were having sex all the time and joking around about it and I was sheltered. I had an ex for over 10 years that didn't love me and that also stumped my relationships.
Whereas my GF she has much worse trauma because of an abusive relationship and then constantly falling back into drugs and sexual partners as a way to cope with her bullying and obesity.
We both were broken humans with unsupportive families and met thinking we were going to die in the rain while jumpstarting her truck. Now we've been together for over 7 years and still working on our traumas but are supportive of each other
Thank you, i really really I appreciate your hard work to teach us and make us learn about our traumas, thank you from my heart deep spot
Thanks ! Yes, that is also a big wound from my youth. The video does not apply to me 100%, but it partly does. Especially betrayal. But my mother was much more damaged in her childhood, even sexually abused. Maybe that's why I've never been in a relationship subconsciously. However, I am not really a gloomy person. I have fun hobbies that make me happy.
My mother was always yelling at me because i wasn't getting really good grades, even though i was trying my best. She would always tell us to go away when we tried to talk to her, we were already afraid to talk to her because we didn't want to get yelled at more. Her and my Dad fought a lot, sometimes hours on end. To the day she died, she would still push me away a lot.
She was 56 when she died in febuary of 2020
Thank u sm for making these videos, i cry during them bcs i can finally feel understood
This made me cry, it makes sense now. Prob contributes to why I don’t want children, why I always feel alone even when surrounded by people and why I feel like the world is against me.
Thank for talking about this cause I have been in a very bad mental state and this has really shown some of the reasons why I am this way cause all 4 of these have happened to me so thank you for this
I'm afraid of rejection, abandonment and betrayal, I don't want her to leave me but I'm constantly afraid that she will, I'm always worried about her and everytime she's around I want to keep her safe and happy, I always get worried when she doesn't answer my messages, I can't stand the thought of being alone ever again... She's a wonderful person, she cares about me a lot but I'm always afraid of what could happen...
I barely share this fact with anyone, ever because I'm afraid of so many things and situations that could happen.
I feel all of this. And realized that with mother issues as well. I am probably not gonna find love until wayyyyy later on in life
this video helped me realize the type of trauma I have after years of trying to figure out what the hell happened to me and why I cant the way I do. Thank you.
All of these resonate with me in some way or another, and I have no way of dealing with my trauma for fear of making my current situation worse..
Wow. This is so insightful
oh, you got new style of videos? nice, this one is good
this video speaks to me too much
love your videos-!!
A great and useful video, thank you very much 💞
It doesn't necessarily have to be parents. I was bullied for 12 years non stop during my entire school life. While my parents did have some significant contribution to my traumas, what makes it difficult for me to form any type of relationship (friendship, romantic etc..) is the years of constant bullying and how no adult stood up for me. You spend most of your childhood at school. It has significant effect on people's mental health.
I have both abandonment and betrayal trauma, this thanks to my family and school environment when I was little. It was awful to know i couldn't ask for help and I would be blamed like: "You're way too old/smart to know this." And proceeded to be blamed for the abuse I went through, I was bullied, neglected and SA in school when I was little, till i moved from cities and I snapped. The once sweet and cheerful little girl was gone and what remained was something akin to a wary cat.
I'm an adult now but I realize how that scarred me deeply so bad, that I can like someone but get so overwhelmed by the feeling that I end in leaving them or ghosting them quickly, so if they insist again I feel guilty because I'm hurting someone genuine or if they ignore me to I feel relieved in the way that "I was right, he was just playing around with me."
Thank you for helping.
This is really important information, especially when you get in a relationship with someone who was severely abused
I absolutely love the channel
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 *🧠 Impact of Childhood Trauma on Relationships*
- Childhood trauma, ranging from abuse to neglect, can profoundly affect adult relationships.
- Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) such as abuse, neglect, and family dysfunction can lead to chronic health problems and mental illnesses later in life.
- Childhood trauma can manifest in adulthood as rejection trauma, abandonment trauma, betrayal trauma, and humiliation trauma, impacting how individuals relate to their romantic partners.
01:13 *🚪 Rejection Trauma*
- Rejection trauma stems from feeling unimportant or unwanted in childhood, leading to a fear of rejection in adult relationships.
- Perceived rejection can evoke emotions like hurt, jealousy, and shame, affecting self-esteem and relationship dynamics.
- Individuals with rejection trauma may struggle with feelings of unworthiness and interpret benign actions as rejection.
03:06 *🚶 Abandonment Trauma*
- Abandonment trauma often accompanies rejection trauma, arising from unstable or neglectful childhood environments.
- Children may develop an anxious attachment style, fearing abandonment and experiencing hyper-vigilance in relationships.
- Severe abandonment trauma can contribute to the development of personality disorders like borderline personality disorder (BPD), leading to intense emotional reactions in adult relationships.
04:30 *💔 Betrayal Trauma*
- Betrayal trauma results from being betrayed by trusted individuals, such as parents or partners, causing deep emotional wounds.
- Victims of betrayal trauma may dissociate from traumatic experiences to preserve relationships, leading to dependency and suppression of emotions.
- Adults with betrayal trauma may perpetuate toxic relationship patterns, fearing further betrayal and remaining in harmful situations.
05:54 *😳 Humiliation Trauma*
- Humiliation trauma arises from feeling deeply ashamed or humiliated in childhood, impacting self-esteem and relationship dynamics.
- Coping mechanisms developed in response to humiliation, such as avoidance, codependency, or aggression, can hinder healthy relationships.
- Recognizing and addressing childhood wounds like humiliation trauma is crucial for building fulfilling adult relationships.
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Thank you so much, I cried half of the video
I am a time traveler. 😎
wtff
How what the hell?
Wait how 4 days ago 😮
bruh how 🗿🗿
Bro how
Very informative video 👍👏
Idk if she read it or will ever read it. However... I have been watching her's video for looong time and honestly she helped me a lot. Maybe those videos are nothing but trust me, if you face your trauma and reach for help, it's very fruitfull! Maybe it will not be right away, but trust me buddy, dont give up and keep going for your wellbeing!
This along with a few other of your videos have made me recognize just how broken I am as a person. To varying degrees, I relate to all of these, and I dont know how I can fix them.
I had all those in childhood…abusive parents.. yes it affects myself.. but at most i patch up myself with God, supportive grandmother and loving Christians and friends
thank you for this so I’d understand myself more. I never knew I’d had so much trauma happen in my 13 years of life
Great video! Shared!
5:33 this is so on point...
The expression is really fitting.
Citizen soldier & royal bliss is right...
I'd rather go through hell, through hell
To be the person I am today
Had to find myself, myself
Climbing a mountain of my mistakes
'Cause I was worth the war that's underneath my skin
And if I had to I would do it all again
Through hell, through hell
You want a story to tell
You gotta go through hell
Cause sometimes that's the only way
My God between the war in my country and dysfunctional family with multiple types of abuse, living a life just to be aligned with your parents expectations although they are so far from being perfect, they want you to always be the best. Till i said to myself it's enough nothing will change, i discovered i am just a backup plan for their old days, someone to take care of them. I hope i can find peace in my life and stop remembering them and sometimes feeling guilty that they are right, i am not good enough. They wanted me to become a doctor and i did, i did everything they wanted me to do and be but still i feel i am just a scam. I wish everyone to have the life they dreamt about
DAMMIT THIS COMES AT A TIME WHEN IM GOING THROUGH IT TODAY 😅😅
I'm going through it with my partner today (of course, it's my own brain doing this and I'm aware of it) and all these traumas happened to me so I am feeling a little attacked xD but this helps me understand more, so I appreciate this video a lot💜💜💜
But also, this is reiterating to me that I definitely need to go to therapy and get diagnosed for things
The fact that I relate to the first and third one hit close to home.
As a young kid, my parents fought alot. And that caused me to in a stressful situation which caused me to dissociate from reality and imagine myself in a safe space.
And because now I'm often spiritually neglected from dad due to him spending time with his gf, I tend to overthink that I'm not important to my friends and that they just see me as the "annoying sunshine girl" or something like that.
Hey, are you alright?
I apologise for being a month late but, do you want someone too talk too here? (i know I'm some random person but, I would be happy too help you if needed)
Having parental issues is really rough, I'm genuinely sorry you're dealing with all that.
I don't know if my comment would help but I wish you the best of luck!
And please try too be happy. Try too find something too be happy about.
@@remiliascarlet386 Hey, sorry for late responding! Yeah, I am okay...Mentally a bit unstable right now but good regardless!
Also, thank you. I really appreciate it.
@@dokidokiloverkitty6806 well alrighty then, I'm glad you're doing okay as I was kinda worried. (Im a little soft -_-)
And eh, nothing wrong with a lil instability in life, it's how the tie goes.
Eitherway, if you ever wanna talk, you know where too find me.
And of course, I wish the very best!
Thanks for saying that I do matter.. even i dont often say it to myself
I fear rejection so much because my dad abandoned me. If I have a crush on someone, I assume they don’t like me, even if it’s obvious that they do. Then I’m paranoid that they might like someone else more once they see someone better. I constantly fear that I won’t ever be enough but I crave intimacy and love. But I feel like it’s safer to just be alone. People not liking me back just “confirms” that I’m unlovable and I can’t go through that rejection.
I can't wait for a video where we are presented solutions to those traumas. Especially, if we are a mix of all of them
Growing up my parents were not close and then the first relationship I was ever in was real bad. Very manipulative and was eventually cheated on and it hurt me… for a while…. now that I am in a new relationship it’s hard for me to “love” again. I find myself totally reserved and purposefully pushing away some of those feelings. I admire those who have learned to let go or simply jst can…
I suffer from all of these, but I just suppress it all. I don't know why I do it but whenever my mental gets low I tend to think of all my trauma all at once and I sink deeper into my own pit of despair. I've had a great father, but the way I grew up from being bullied in school due to being "different" as well as all the abusive people I've met in my life, my mother abandoning me and abusing my brother. Even now, I had an event where I was seriously betrayed and I was dependent for so long only to find out it was a façade. It's not the first time it's happened but I can't seem to escape and find people to trust.
Abandonment, Rejection, betrayal, humiliation, my parents have always done these type of things not everything but parts of the traumas.....it stings when i hear that these types describe how my parent treat me
Is it possible to be all? I grew up in an alcoholic and abusive (physically and verbally) household. I realized that I in my last relationship I did a lot of things I didn't like (people pleaser) and felt shame when I did things that brought me happiness. I am not like that anymore, or trying to be at least, going into counseling and these videos really help me bring awareness to my behaviors and things I want to change. Thanks Psycho2Go!
thank you 🙏♥️
Just found yourr channel and its great those are nice viedeos. Funny thing though is i was nerver in a realationship but still for example fell at least two of the traumas you describet there
Humiliation trauma is mine. It happened to me in a school and not at home though. I wasn't bulled or anything. It's just that something very embarrassing happened when I was at school when I was really young. It traumatized me and it's almost been 10 years with no help and assistance. I have S.A.D. and G.A.D. and PTSD because of that one experience. Well.... Life is terrible as of now. Idk if i can do this
Gotta be honest with you
I was abandoned by my mother when I was 3 yrs old. Remember it like it was yesterday. She ended up returning, but the unhealed trauma lasts forever. Guess that's why I just turned 50 never married and live in isolation.
Sorry to hear that. I am a bit scared of this happening to me as well.
Wow. I have traits of all of these, and when I last saw a psychologist, he said he doesn't believe I have MDD (diagnosed long ago) but rather CPSTD that manifests as depression, and constant negative self-talk.
i didnt even experience rejection in my childhood and all i think about is that i have to make someone happy for me to be valid. i do find rejection as proof that im not worthy. i jump to conclusions faster than light. when someone even misses a message or misinterprets what i say, i usually almost overthink myself into a panic attack. if people ignore my messages, it becomes all i think about for the day. my mood depends entirely on what other people seem to think of me, and someone telling me something even slightly positive or negative can both easily put me in tears. i feel invisible to myself, like i only exist if people say i do. and im only scratching the surface here. i wish i could still see myself as a person.
Why is the speaker’s voice so calming to me?
Theres so many background reasons like this to explain why people are who they are. Thats why I’m so considerate, because i also have my own trauma .
First Two sentences - I'm crying. (How dare you hit the point so precisely in the first seconds... I wanted to watch this - didn't expect being triggered right away. Ouch!)
my enlish is bad but i didnt notice/relised i had all these trauma until i saw the video and it described as me... alot of things happened when i was at age of 5 til now... all i can say i that i've been through alot with both my parents and foster family... cant tell cause its personal.. (Those who suffer from this, i'll suffer with you... i hope y'all are okay and stay strong. YOU ARE WORTHY
You know, I haven't had any traumatic experiences through my childhood (at least I don't think so) but I checked pretty much everything that was listed off of every trauma. I'm messed up and I have no clue why.
I am so surprised with how badly I got called out with the abandontment issues and then when my jaw dropped for the borderline personality disorder.
I struggle a lot with my relationships and emotional stability often going in panic attacks and lack of control.....my partner is loving and kind but each day i can see him getting more and more exhausted from my burdens. I now see i have collected all of these types througout my childhood and i don't know how to deal with it. It's like swimming against the current.
Rejection and abandonment were done by my first "friends" when they left me because i was too emotional and later on the same pattern kept repeating. Betreyal done by my parents' divorce that wounded the child (for years i blamed myself for it too) and humiliation by people from school and my own father's harsh way of "fixing me" and my mother's constant desire to always be "the best and perfect".
Now here I am 20 years old almost an adult failing university because of this fear of betrayal and humiliation and constantly needing too much and worrying a person who truly loves me....life can be tough sometimes.
I recently learned that I completely separate my emotions from my memories and that apparently after telling a (what I thought was not that bad or normal) story about what happened in my childhood it's not appropriate to say at the end "well what can you do"
4:48 So disassociation comes from betrayal trauma, makes alot of sense.
I've noticed at an early age 😅 that's one reason why I've stayed single for a long time cause I knew if I gotten in a relationship, I would end up hurting that person I wasn't thinking about myself I'm usually thinking about the other person until I fully heal myself I wouldn't consider myself to get in one, mistakes could be avoided if you notice that you have a toxic habit
This is a fantastic video have a wonderful day also today is my friend's birthday
Some seems to relatable with my childhood but the last one is def smth I can relate 100%, idk if my parents say those mock words just for us to laugh bout or they just wanna have fun mocking me. It really did affected me to this day now tbh, I acted so harshly on my ex-bf when he found out bout my things and I didnt mean to came out as abusive.. I was ashamed of myself and I lost someone I love more than anything in the world.. I'm trying to get better atm but dang, it's so hard to move on from the past..
I got issues with every one of these problems. Not so much the last one, but the rest felt like home 💔
Chanel it's helps me a lot❤❤
I don't like how trauma is only ever really discussed when it's connected to childhood.... I was hoping to see how trauma as an adult can change the way you act and think and ways to address and fix those effects. For example, I was a happy person and motivated, had a lot of friends etc. Then I was faced with something traumatic and my life is the complete opposite...
I have experienced all of these and never knew it was trama until now
Ive experienced all of those and honestly my relationships just end up in me doing anything amd everything to keep a person around, even if they would kill me the next day. Im just so scared to have my life change and to loose people because i spend all my time making excuses and lies as fo why they are actually amazing, both lying to myself and to the people around me. I am too ashamed to admit i am beinf mistreated because i feel like its my fault i was stupid enough to end up in that situation, and at the end i feel even more ashamed to not only admit i was (in my own mind, i know this is not objectively true) naive and gullible enough to fall in love and be abused but also to admit i lied to upkeep the image of my abuser because their image was inadvertently also my image as well…
So my ex definitely suffered from a few of these. She was the first significant relationship I'd had. I put too much stake in it because I was already 30. She was extremely manipulative and abusive, she cheated on me multiple times, but I kept forgiving because I knew she was suffering from a blooming dissociative disorder and her family didn't believe in mental health treatment. Now that it's over, I can't trust ppl like I used to anymore. If I develop feelings for someone I get skeptical. Like, "Sure they SEEM great. But what's to keep them from using me?" I loved ___ with all my heart, but I was ever only a tool for coping and survival to her. My feelings allowed me to be fooled. I feel stupid for the whole thing and I've become guarded and lonely in dealing with it... Any plans for an episode on this kind of similar but different matter? Maybe a past episode I missed?
I thank you so much. the way you explain all those tetrors we kids have been through. It is so dangerous because we relate to our own kids with all those traumas.,
my question is: it is there an end to that suffering?. My own answer is NO. I am so sad. We are too many who are traumatised. There are few experts on trauma. Maybe there is one but he or she is not in your area or country. Reading is not enough. Based on my experience several medical doctors were borderline themselves.
Why do I have all 4 😭